words in movies
Joey: Whoa! Is this porn? What did I do? I mustve hit something on the remote.
Chandler: Do we pay for this?
Rachel: All right, yknow what, come on, do we really have to watch this while we eat? (She makes a move for the remote.)
Ross: Well I, thats the thing, I dont know! I mean, whenever I brought it up with her she said, (In a British accent.) "This is so fantastic! Why do we have to talk about the future? Lets just enjoy "
Monica: (interrupting him) No-no-no, dont-dont do the accent. Youve got to see her again.
Ross: And why do you care so much?
Monica: Do you love her?
Phoebe: What do you know?!
Frank: Yeah, Ive been thinking ever since you said we were having triplets, the best thing for me to do is to drop out of college and get a job.
Monica: Ohh! Did you do what I said? Did-did-did you tell her?
Joey: Yeah, what were you trying to get her to do?!
Ross: What do I do now?
Monica: When Rachel was with Paulo, what did you do?
Monica: You sat back and let him have her, you didnt fight at all. Am I right? Do you want the same thing to happen with Emily?
Ross: All right. All right, Im gonna do it!
Emily: I uh, Ive been to his apartment and he wasnt there, and uh. I need to talk to him, so do you have any idea where he is?
Chandler: I was just at the bank, and there was this really hot teller, and she didnt ask me to go do it with her in the vault.
Janice: Oh, my Bing-a-ling. Ill wait for you. Do you even know how long youre going to be gone?
CHANDLER: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi. Hey man, we were just doin' some uhh, impressions over here. Do your Marcel Marceau. [Joey turns around and walks out without saying anything] That's actually good.
Joey: What do you mean? Rach, don't I seem like a professor you'd buy some kind of e-crap from?
Rachel: Okay, its justand this is really embarrassingbut lately with this whole pregnancy thing Im just finding myself how do I put this umm, erotically charged.
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Rachel: Ohh, okay. (Ross has a sign on his back that reads Poop.) WhAh-ha! (Ross stops and turns.) Wait a minute. Uh Ben, I cant do it.
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
Phoebe: (entering and sitting down at the table.) Hello. My name is Regina Phalange. I'm a businesswoman in town on business. Would you like to see my card? (Looks down) Ooh, what did I do with my file-a-facts? I must've left it in conference room B.
MONICA: All right, look, Ross. I realize that you have issues with Carol and Susan, and I feel for you, I do. But if you don't help me cook, I'm gonna take a bunch of those little hot dogs, and I'm gonna create a new appetizer called "pigs in Ross". All right, ball the melon.
ALISON: Oh, my major was totally useless. I mean, how often do you look in the classifieds and see "Philosopher wanted"?
Chandler: Do you think you could get through a poem?
David: Allright... But... if I ever do come back from Minsk... (points at Mike) well, you just better watch out.
Rachel: I dont care about the little dude! I cant! I cannot listen to anymore of this! Yknow, the only person who would want to listen to this is a mental health professional! And then its only because they get paid $100 an hour! Do you know how much money I couldve made listening to you? $2,000! And do you know when I figured that out? While you were talking!
Richard: Why do have a picture of Paulette in your pack?!
Joey: (to Phoebe) Look at you. Since when do you roller blade?
Monica: Oh, will you do the top of the cabinets? Thatll really work up your appetite for lunch.
Joey: Yeah, or you can teach him a lesson. Y'know? What you could do is you could rub something that really smells on your butt, all right? Then, when he goes to smack ya, his hand will smell. (thinking aloud) Now what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
Ross: (in a mocking voice)Uh...sure I do, and I also wanna be King of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart.
Mr. Geller: 'Cause there's time to make up for that. We can do stuff together. You always wanted to go to that Colonial Williamsburg. How 'bout we do that?
Joey: No-no-no-no-no, it's-it's uh, you just uh, uh reminded me that uh, I need to do my stretches too. (Starts to stretch, groans painfully)
Frank: Well um, I was in ah Mrs. Knights ah, I mean Alice, sorry, Alice, I always do that. I was in her ah, Home Ec class.
Ross: (To Monica) Look, okay-okay I had food poisoning! Its not like I choose to do it! Its not likeIts not like I said, "Umm, what would make this ride more fun?!"
Joey: Sometimes I think maybe she could. But it doesnt matter, because I cant do anything about it.
Rachel: (Reading from a tag that's attached to the shoe) "Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S.: Chandler, I knew they'd break you."
Chandler: Nah, Nah, its okay. I feel like I need to be in guy place. You know, do kind of like a man thing.
Rachel: What? No! Its not a big deal! I do that too, with my shampoo bottle.
Rachel: Shh-shh-shh! The guys dont know yet do they?
Ross: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.
Ross: Fine! Fine! But this break-up was not all my fault, and she, she says here, (reading from the letter) If you accept full responsibility... (to Chandler and Joey) Full responsibility! ...I can begin to trust you again. Does that seem like something you can do. (yells at Joey) Does it?!!
PHOEBE: Chandler, you gotta stop staring at the door. It's like a watched pot, you know if you keep looking at it then the door is to, never gonna boil. I think what you have to do is try not to...
Monica: All right thats it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I dont care!
Estelle: Well! Well! Well! Joey Tribbiani! So you came back huh? They think they can do better but they all come crawling back to Estelle!
Ross: Okay, I did not abandon Rachel! Okay? Emily showed up at the airport! I had to go after her! I mean, I-I did what I had to do! She's my wife! Rachel is my wife! Y'knowEmily! Emily, is my wife! Man, what is that?
Rachel: Well, I do, but you're just gonna have to actually look at this as more of an investment than a cat.
Joey: Me too! Yeah. And comfortable. Do uh, do you like leather seats?
Chandler: Do you even remember which part of the wall is not spackle?
Monica: So Don, what-what other restaurants do you like?
Danny: Oh great! That special bond again! Why do women have such a problem with the fact that I'm close with my sister?
Ross: I do-I do not have a boyfriend. Theres a guy in one of my classes who-who has a crush on me.
Rachel: What? What, do you mean you're not feeling well? What do you have? Is it Rubella? Because don't go near Emma, she has not had that shot.
Store Guy: Oh my god, Todd! What the hell did you do?
Joey: Oh nowHey Ross-Ross! Do you wanna-wanna come in for a beer or something?
Joey: Oh, come on! Have you seen what my kid can do?! Huh?! I mean he dials phones! He-he-he eats tortilla chips! He-he plays soccer with the cartoon tiger!
Joey: Hey, I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole crew waiting!
MONICA: Ok people, I want you to take a piece of paper, here you go, and write down your most embarassing memory. Oh, and I do ask that when you're not using the markers, you put the caps back on them because they will dry out.
Ross: I didn't wanna leave him alone. Alright? We- we had our first fight this morning. I think it has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean, and he- he threw some faeces...
Richard: Just your dad. (pause) Although thats actually racquetball. You know I-I do have a blind date with my sisters neighbour next Tuesday.
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Monica: Who do you think would win in a fight, Catwoman or Supergirl?
Allesandro: Well, you said that we except the Discover Card, which we do not!
Phoebe: Well... but David, just... I just want you to know that... that... you know... telling you this... is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
Monica: (To Chandler) Look honey, you dont have to do this, okay? Its the strength you have inside that means the most to me. Youre loyal, youre honest, and you have integrity! Thats the kind of strength that I want in the man that I love!
Chloe: Well, youre practically dancing already. Why dont you just do it over here?
CHANDLER: (on pay phone) Come on, pick up, pick up! Hello? Transit Authority? Yes, hello. I'm doing research for a book, and I was wondering what someone might do if they left a baby on a city bus. Yes I do realize that would be a very stupid charact er.
Woman: Ross Geller, why do I know that name? Its uhWait! (Grabs his book off of the shelf.) Did you write this?
ROSS: No no, no, that, that's your Christmas tip, alright. Oh, hey, do you think there's a chance you could fix that radiator now?
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
Ross: (scornful) Grab a spoon. Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon? Do the words 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean anything to you?
Jessica Ashley: (shocked) Oh my God! I won! Do you have any idea what this means?! (She rolls her eyes and throws it onto the couch.)
Phoebe: Oh can I? Vegetarians never get to do the wishbone. It's really not fair either! You know, just because we don't eat the meat doesn't mean we don't like to play with the carcasses!
Joey: (glares at him for a moment, then admits grudgingly) Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter.
Ross: Well, I do! Why don't we go back to my place, light a couple of candles, break open a box of Cinnamon Fruit Toasties, uh...
Rachel: Oh, why do you even bother? I already ruined her first birthday... And do you know how important these early experiences are Ross? Very! According to the back cover of that book that you gave me.
Chandler: What size shoes do you wear?
Monica:: Is this not the good part? Do you want me to fast forward to something a little toothier.
Joey: All right, heres a list of things for you to do today. Man, this going to be so great! Thank you so much! All right, I got to go to work Im delivering twins today, but only one of them is mine! (Exits.)
Richard: Thats what real actors do! Annunciation is the mark of a good actor! And when you enunciate, you spit! (Spits on the t)
Chandler: Okay, so if an eight comes up, we take it as a sign and we do it! {Whoa! Where have I heard that before? Matthew Perry talking about signs in Las Vegas. I guess it must've been some movie I saw.} What do you say?
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Phoebe: Umm, do health inspectors work on commission?
Joey: (pouring two glasses) Hey look Ross, you need to understand something okay? I uh I am never gonna act on this Rachel thing, okay? I-I would never do anything to jeopardize my friendship with you. (He hands Ross a glass.)
Dr. Green: Nice hair. Whatd ya do? Swim here?
Joey: Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brothers triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn!
Ross: I knew all I had to do was let the material speak for itself. Everyones all, "Ross you have to be funny and sexy." Well, I proved them wrong! And now, Im gonna pass the news onto Joey and Chandler.
Joey: (looking at the checkbook) Wow! Look at this! He wrote a check for 50,000 dollars to Hugo Ligrens Ring Design. (Monica is stunned) Oh, sorry, what do you think the good news is?
Rachel: Do you want some pancakes?
Chandler: Ahh, do you have any coconut flavoured deities?
Chandler: Look, I just dont think Monica and I are ready to get married yet! Yknow? I mean, I love her and everything but seeing Ross and Rachel coming out of that chapel was like a, like a wake-up call that Monica and I are moving so fast. Yknow? And, how do I tell her without crushing her?
Ross: That does make sense. Because I do wanna seize some opportunity, but I-I really don't wanna see or talk to her.
Ross: (sees the chick) Ohhh, hey! All right, listen, I-I have that TV thing in like two hours, and I need your help, okay? What do you think? (takes out two suits) This blue suit, or this brown one?
Ross: Yeah!!!! Yes, I made it! Im on time! (Grabs a bottle of water from a student, takes a drink, and splashes some on his face like the marathon runners do.) Okay, why dont we all uh, (Exhales loudly) open our books to page 23. Where (Exhales again) Where you will see a uh a bunch of uh red spots. Okay, (Closes his book.) umm, why dont, why dont you all start to read, while I(Passes out and collapses.)
Chandler: Which I bought for ya. Taught ya how to use it. You thought it was a copier. Look, if there was anything I could do, I would do it. Okay? But everybodys allowed one mistake, right?
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
Chandler: Well appealing as that does sound to her boyfriend (pause) and her brother, (the camera pans to Ross flashing Joey a very evil look; Joey gets scared) I cant do that we promised wed make each other gifts this year.
MR A: Oh, no, please, I spent most of mid-morning trying to stand up. Now uh, what can I do for you, my dear?
PHOEBE: What if the husband person is the wrong guy, and you are the right guy. I mean you don't get chances like this all the time, if you don't meet her now, you're gonna be kicking yourself when your 80, which is hard to do, and that's how you break a hip.
Chandler: Sure. (to Phoebe) You don't really handcuff guys to waterpipes do you?
Mr. Waltham: (Shaking everyone's hand.) Hello. Hello. How do you do? How do you do? Very nice to meet you. (Looking over at his wife.) Darling its the Gellers. (She pays no attention shes talking on a cellular phone.) (Louder) Darling, its the Gellers. (Shes still not responding.) Shes very self-absorbed, you know. I should never have married her.
Aurora: So what do you want?
RACHEL: Well do you get to look through one of those like, those periscope thingys.
Joey: You are so the man! (motions him to come in, and he does) Now look, listen, listen, you got to be cool, cause my Grandma doesnt know about you two yet, and you do not want to tick her off. She was like the sixth person to spit on Mussolini's hanging body. Yeah.
Monica: Chandler, please! Do you know how unbelievably glad I am that Joey was not there that night?!
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Ross: Hey listen can you do me a big favor? The deans office just called and said there was an urgent meeting. Can you watch Ben for like an hour?
Ross: So do I. (Slowly walks in.) Okay Rach, before anything happens (He takes off his coat) I just want to lay down a couple of ground rules. (Turns back to face her.) This is just about tonight. I don't to go through with this if it's going to raise the question of "Us." (Rachel's confused) Okay? I just want this to be (Kicks off his left shoe) about what it is! (Kicks off the other one.)
Janice: Okay, you know, one of two things is happening here. Either you're seeing somebody behind my back, which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet. Or, else you're pretending that you're seeing somebody, which just makes you so pathetic that I could start crying right here in the cereal aisle. So like which of these two guys do you want to be? (another guy walks by)
Joey: Look, you and I have been given a gift. Okay? We have to do something with it. Like-like, hand modeling! Huh? Or-or magic! And you know NASA's gonna wanna talk to us!
Phoebe: Oh, I'm not gonna do this, okay? I'm not gonna eavesdrop on my friend.
Monica: Because they dont know were dating. (Again, trying to quickly change subjects.) Do you think we should eat in the kitchen? (Goes to the sink and the stove to cook.)
Rachel: Well I can do whatever I want! I made her! (Waking Emma up.) Come on little girl, hi!