words in movies
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Rachel: Oh Mon, listen I have to ask! Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment, now does he do this with a lot of girls?
Rachel: Yes!! I mean sex does not have to be a big deal! There shouldnt be all this rules and restrictions! Yknow, people should be able to sleep with who ever they want, whenever
(He does a kara-tay move to silence her, then answers the phone.)
Dr. Drake Remoray: Not so fast Wesley! (Rachel does a silent clap.)
Ross: Yeah. Right. Save it. I can do that. (Gets up and does a little kara-tay.)
Ross: She doesnt know she was fired yet, does she?
Chandler: Oh yeah! Yeah! Dont worry about me, Ill be fine! (Does a kara-tay move.)
Ross: Okay. (He does so.)
(He does so, and immediately starts looking pathetic.)
Ross: Does that mean the same thing in England as it does in America?
(Joey does so, and they both start dancing. Treeger tries to spin Joey, but ends up throwing him into the door.)
Ross: It does not!
Emily: He does that?!
(Rachel kisses him, and goes upstairs. After shes gone, Ross frantically tries to find and read the Does it? part.)
MNCA: Rach, does this have nonfat milk?
Rachel: No, just singing. (Does a little song.)
Joey: ...Does the knuckle-cracking bother everybody?
Monica: Does she use the cups? Yes! I believe she does. Does she use the plates? Yes! I believe she does. (Looks at the wedding dress and stops.)
Rachel: Yknow, I gotta tell ya, this really does put in a better mood.
Ross: What does this mean? What do you, I mean do you wanna, get back together?
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, its-its so, its so totally like, "Whoa! Can we do this?" Yknow, I mean, but I mean it just feels right! Dont you think? It does! I mean, it just feels right, dont you think?
Ross: Yeah. (He does so and Phoebe hugs him.)
Monica: Myself. Yknow for remembering to pack a thing. Yeah, you do a good thing, you get a check! (pause) My mom does it, I never realized it was weird.
Emily: So what did he decide? Does your Uncle Nathan get an invite or not?
Rachel: You all know? Does Ross know?
Monica: What does she mean by 'involved'?
Ross: So tell me something. What does the phrase 'no date pact' mean to you?
Phoebe: (Trying to get up.) Wait!! Where are you going?! What are you doing?! No!! Wait!! (Not able to get up.) God!! Why am I always pregnant when she does that?!
Ross: So uh, Rach? Does it, does it feel weird around here now? Y'know since I've been away at college.
Rachel: Oh, how does he look? How does he look?
[Scene: Monas Apartment, she and her date are making out as Ross flips through a magazine while lying behind the couch and sees something that he likes. Meanwhile, Monas date takes off Rosss shirt and Mona throws it on the floor. While they start making out again, Ross tries to pull the rug the shirt is on over to him, but while he does that he moves the coffee table and it bumps into the couch.]
Phoebe: Oh no! Not that guy! He does look like him though.
Rachel: So does it really hurt as bad as they say?
Chandler: Does that room have a closet I can lock him in? (pause) We'll take it.
Monica: Come here. (He does, and they kiss.) Okay, be right back.
Chandler: (admiring his work) This, this actually is a (Does the same gibberish word from before.)
Ross: How come? Everybody else does.
(He does so.)
Joey: Hey! That must be why I got fired last week! Does this Orson Wells guy direct Burger King commercials?
Larry: This does. (Shows her his badge.)
Chandler: You mean this. (Does the maneuver perfectly.)
Joey: Yeah, I like that. But no-no, how does that explain why Rachel found my underwear at your place?
Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo-point.
Monica: So how does this work, you going to balance the plates on these little guys' heads?
Phoebe: Oh, okay, I'm having another one! This one doesn't hurt eitherOoh, yes it does! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ooh! (Checks under the blanket.) Oh, I was kinda hoping that was it.
Phoebe: Does it look like a urinal?
Rachel: Well, uh, I-I don't know. See when-when you put it that way y'know it does sort of
Monica: Me and Chandler?! (Does her fake laugh.)
Phoebe: Give me your hands. (He does and she smells his left hand.) Strings. Gimme it! (He gives her his right hand and she smells it as well.) Pick. Do you want to learn to play guitar?
Ross: Thanks. (Gets up and as he does so, the sound returns. Without another word he heads into her bathroom.)
Phoebe: Does it look like an ashtray?
Ross: What difference does that make?!
(Chandler does a fake laugh.)
Chandler: Oh yes, sir! Put me out of my misery. Are you sure you never played pro? (Does his work laugh.) (To Monica) Please let them win!
Chandler: Coffee in a fight! (Does the laugh again.)
Chandler: Oh. (Does a double take when he realizes what she just said.)
Chandler: I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesnt matter, I still wind up with this little (pats the flat spot on the back of his head) cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. Its so annoying. Does it bug you?
Ross: Yeah? All right I'll call the airlines. (Picks up the phone and does so)
Rachel: Well, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm gonna go use Ugly Naked Guy's bathroom. (Does so.)
Phoebe: (seeing the look on Chandler's face) He-he does not like it! He hates it! He's in pain!
Joey: Look Rach, my parents bought this fridge just after I was born, okay? Now, I have never had a problem with it. Then you show up and it breaks! What does that tell ya?
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Chandler: (notices something) Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? (Pause, no one speaks.) Someone comment on the pants!
Joey: I do. Theres uh, lets see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids Ive Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.
Joey: Shhh! This is a museum, no talking. Right down here, (Motions to a fossilised dinosaur foot.) we have a large foot. (Sees Ross working in one of the display cases.) Uhh, and over here we have Ross Geller. (Knocks on the glass) Everyone wave Hi to Ross. Ross is one of our most important scientists, look at him, hard at work. (Ross does the old "Putting a cigarette in your ear and pulling it out of your mouth trick.") Okay, moving right along. Come on.
Monica: I'm telling you, something's wrong! My brother does not stay out all night.
The Salesman: Lets see, ahhh Where does the Pope live?
Rachel: Hi, Im sorry Im late but I am ready, ready to talk you up! When does Lizs father get here?
(Monica does a fake laugh. For the laughs, you'll have to see the episode. I can't describe them.)
Rachel: (does Monica's) I know!
Monica: (does Rachel's) Nooo!
Joey: No-no! No way! Joey Tribbiani does not take charity anymore.
Ross: Yeah? Sometimes it's (Does the fist thing.)
Chandler: What does it look like? I'm going home.
Joey: Hit me! (He does so.)
Rachel: Nope! (She puts one in her mouth and spits it out, then does it again in another direction.)
(She does Ross's little gesture. In response Ross puts his hands behind his neck with his arms sticking straight out and starts flapping them together.)
Ross: This is perfect! She'll have to come back here with your pizza, and when she does, I'll turn on the Charm-O-Ross. Oh I'm so glad you don't eat meat.
Monica: My boyfriend really does have good taste!
Joey: Me too! Me too! Me too! (Yeah, he does the same thing.)
Ross: Hey, does anybody want to get some lunch? All those in favor say I? (Pokes his eye)
Rachel: Oh my God! What does that thing do?
Ross: If it does? Then you're an amazing friend of mine.
(She does so and it makes her look pregnant.)
Monica: This doesnt mean anything, does it?
Phoebe: Thousands of times!! That doesnt make me sound too good does it?
Ross: (does so) Oohh, 23. (Rachel looks at him.) Which is what we play to at this casino! You win 10 dollars! (Holds out a ten.)
Chandler: Double it! (He does.)
Phoebe: Good thats a good one. Okay, Monica, anything? Yknow? Does Rachel move the phone pen?
Mr. Geller: I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?
Ross: Why does anyone have to be naked?
Rachel: Ohh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?
Chandler: Well, why does she not want to hang out with us?!
Gary: Hey Joe does it have meatballs on it?
Rachel: Yeah! Its an apothecary table. Does anyone even know what an apothecary is?
Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone.
Gary: Does it have melted cheese and marinara sauce?
Monica: Im just so excited to make the presents! (Chandler does another sarcastic/scared laugh and leaves.) Shoot!
Ross: She does want to.
Rachel: Oh, she does want to.
[Scene: A beauty parlour, Rachel is getting a manicure while Chandler, yes Chandler, is getting a petticure (Does that scare you that I know those terms? Well, it scares me.).]
Dr. Green: They found rust. You know what rust does to a boat?
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself. (Walks towards the door until )
Rachel: I am jealous of her?! I mean who does she think she is?! Princess Caroline?!
Ross: Hey does anyone have any gum?
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) You guys, (holds up an outfit) does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?
(Chandler does the weird clicky thing again.)
Director: I dont see it. (To Janine) You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! (He does. Janine goes over to him.)