words in movies
{Transcribers note: This is where the opening credits are, but theyre not the usual opening credits. Oh no! These credits are based on the world that would have been created had all of the above actually happened. It starts out with all of them at the fountain sitting on the couch as Fat Monica runs up and sits on the arm of the couch, tilting the whole thing towards her. It then goes on to show Rachels still a shop-aholic and with Barry. Fat Monica is sweating while cooking and dancing while eating a donut. Phoebe as the Wall Street shark smoking while on two cell phones. Then theyre dancing in the fountain. Joey entering as Dr. Drake Remoray and meeting a groupie. Chandler trying to write as a bird does its business on his shoulder and falling asleep while typing. Ross doing some kara-tay and trying to get Carol into bed. And finally, some more dancing in the fountain, them all flexing, and the turning out the lamp and shutting off all the lights bit from the first season. Just remember one thing, this is an alternate universe. Everything from every other episode doesnt apply, for instance, Ross and Rachel have no history. And in fact have not seen each other in years in this world.}
Rachel: Oh Mon, listen I have to ask! Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment, now does he do this with a lot of girls?
Rachel: Yes!! I mean sex does not have to be a big deal! There shouldnt be all this rules and restrictions! Yknow, people should be able to sleep with who ever they want, whenever
(He does a kara-tay move to silence her, then answers the phone.)
Dr. Drake Remoray: Not so fast Wesley! (Rachel does a silent clap.)
Ross: Yeah. Right. Save it. I can do that. (Gets up and does a little kara-tay.)
Ross: She doesnt know she was fired yet, does she?
Chandler: Oh yeah! Yeah! Dont worry about me, Ill be fine! (Does a kara-tay move.)
Ross: Okay. (He does so.)
Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo-point.
Chandler: (admiring his work) This, this actually is a (Does the same gibberish word from before.)
Rachel: Well, uh, I-I don't know. See when-when you put it that way y'know it does sort of
Phoebe: Does it look like a urinal?
Phoebe: Give me your hands. (He does and she smells his left hand.) Strings. Gimme it! (He gives her his right hand and she smells it as well.) Pick. Do you want to learn to play guitar?
Ross: Thanks. (Gets up and as he does so, the sound returns. Without another word he heads into her bathroom.)
Phoebe: Does it look like an ashtray?
Ross: What difference does that make?!
(Chandler does a fake laugh.)
Chandler: Oh yes, sir! Put me out of my misery. Are you sure you never played pro? (Does his work laugh.) (To Monica) Please let them win!
Monica: Me and Chandler?! (Does her fake laugh.)
Chandler: Oh. (Does a double take when he realizes what she just said.)
Chandler: Coffee in a fight! (Does the laugh again.)
Ross: Yeah? All right I'll call the airlines. (Picks up the phone and does so)
Chandler: I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesnt matter, I still wind up with this little (pats the flat spot on the back of his head) cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. Its so annoying. Does it bug you?
Phoebe: (seeing the look on Chandler's face) He-he does not like it! He hates it! He's in pain!
Joey: Look Rach, my parents bought this fridge just after I was born, okay? Now, I have never had a problem with it. Then you show up and it breaks! What does that tell ya?
Rachel: Well, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm gonna go use Ugly Naked Guy's bathroom. (Does so.)
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Chandler: (notices something) Ross is wearing leather pants! Does nobody else see that Ross is wearing leather pants? (Pause, no one speaks.) Someone comment on the pants!
Joey: Shhh! This is a museum, no talking. Right down here, (Motions to a fossilised dinosaur foot.) we have a large foot. (Sees Ross working in one of the display cases.) Uhh, and over here we have Ross Geller. (Knocks on the glass) Everyone wave Hi to Ross. Ross is one of our most important scientists, look at him, hard at work. (Ross does the old "Putting a cigarette in your ear and pulling it out of your mouth trick.") Okay, moving right along. Come on.
Monica: I'm telling you, something's wrong! My brother does not stay out all night.
The Salesman: Lets see, ahhh Where does the Pope live?
Joey: I do. Theres uh, lets see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids Ive Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.
(Monica does a fake laugh. For the laughs, you'll have to see the episode. I can't describe them.)
Joey: Me too! Me too! Me too! (Yeah, he does the same thing.)
Monica: My boyfriend really does have good taste!
Rachel: Hi, Im sorry Im late but I am ready, ready to talk you up! When does Lizs father get here?
Rachel: (does Monica's) I know!
Monica: (does Rachel's) Nooo!
Ross: Hey, does anybody want to get some lunch? All those in favor say I? (Pokes his eye)
Ross: Yeah? Sometimes it's (Does the fist thing.)
Rachel: Oh my God! What does that thing do?
Chandler: What does it look like? I'm going home.
Ross: If it does? Then you're an amazing friend of mine.
Joey: Hit me! (He does so.)
(She does so and it makes her look pregnant.)
Ross: This is perfect! She'll have to come back here with your pizza, and when she does, I'll turn on the Charm-O-Ross. Oh I'm so glad you don't eat meat.
Ross: (does so) Oohh, 23. (Rachel looks at him.) Which is what we play to at this casino! You win 10 dollars! (Holds out a ten.)
Rachel: Nope! (She puts one in her mouth and spits it out, then does it again in another direction.)
Monica: This doesnt mean anything, does it?
(She does Ross's little gesture. In response Ross puts his hands behind his neck with his arms sticking straight out and starts flapping them together.)
Phoebe: Thousands of times!! That doesnt make me sound too good does it?
Rachel: Ohh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?
Phoebe: Good thats a good one. Okay, Monica, anything? Yknow? Does Rachel move the phone pen?
Ross: Why does anyone have to be naked?
Joey: No-no! No way! Joey Tribbiani does not take charity anymore.
Chandler: Double it! (He does.)
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) You guys, (holds up an outfit) does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?
Gary: Hey Joe does it have meatballs on it?
Chandler: Well, why does she not want to hang out with us?!
Ross: She does want to.
Rachel: Oh, she does want to.
Mr. Geller: I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?
Rachel: Honey, this is not your fault, just because you guys had a fight, it does not justify her sleeping with someone.
Rachel: Yeah! Its an apothecary table. Does anyone even know what an apothecary is?
Gary: Does it have melted cheese and marinara sauce?
[Scene: A beauty parlour, Rachel is getting a manicure while Chandler, yes Chandler, is getting a petticure (Does that scare you that I know those terms? Well, it scares me.).]
Dr. Green: They found rust. You know what rust does to a boat?
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself. (Walks towards the door until )
Ross: Hey does anyone have any gum?
Director: I dont see it. (To Janine) You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! (He does. Janine goes over to him.)
(Chandler does the weird clicky thing again.)
PHOEBE: Does it matter? You're ultimately just gonna die or get divorced or have to blow your pets head off.
Chandler: Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
Rachel: I am jealous of her?! I mean who does she think she is?! Princess Caroline?!
Frank: Okay, so wait, all right, so how does that make things better?
Monica: Im just so excited to make the presents! (Chandler does another sarcastic/scared laugh and leaves.) Shoot!
Chandler: I made a (Does one of those gibberish words.)
Monica: Does that smell bother you?
Rachel: How does going to a strip club help him better?
Joey: (to Carl) Pizza!! We like Pizza!! Get out!!! (Carl does so.)
Janices Voice: (singing) Youre look for laughable (She does the now patented Janice laugh.)
Janice: Yeah, Im riding the alimony pony. (Does the now famous laugh.)
Rachel: Ahhhhh, salmon skin roll. (She does the finger thing.)
Janice: Yeah, um, Im, Im leaving now. (tries to get her leg out of Chandlers grasp, she finally does, but Chandler takes off her shoe.)
Fireman #2: Well someone does.
(Chandler does this throat sound.)
Monica: Does Ralph mumble when youre not paying attention?
Ross: Yeah, how does Jason look in a v-neck?
(Rachel does so and its one of those dance party shows they have during spring break and we see )
Phoebe: That doesnt lock does it?
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Chandler: Wait a minute, is she going for spring vacation or is she going for spring break? (Does a little whooping/party noise.)
Rachel: I mean Ross all that does is remind us that you are interested in fossils.
Ross: Oh yeah! Wasnt she uh (Does the international sign for big boobies.)
JOEY: Well, see when you're acting you need to think about stuff like that. My character, Joseph the processor guy, has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany. Ashley copies everything Brittany does.
Chandler: If you're cooking on the stove, does that mean that your new secret boyfriend is better in bed than Richard?
Kristen: (To Chandler) Excuse me? (Chandler does the shy thing again.)
Chandler: (disgusted) What does it say?!
Paul: Yes it does.
Phoebe: (wearing a veil) Am I crazy or does this totally go?!
Joey: Sounds great! Okay all right, well where does this go? (The lamp hes holding.)
Chandler: Im not freaking out. Why would I be freaking out? A woman named Heldi called and said we were getting married, but that happens everyday. (Does one of those Chandler noises.)
Joey: (he stops screaming at action) "Take good care of your Momma son." (Again Alex does nothing.)
Janice: (entering) Ross you left you scarf in (sees everyone.) Hey you guys. (Does the laugh.)
Ross: Oh! (Does a laugh/groan.) Listen umm, I, I just stopped by to see if you wanted to see this play tonight. Umm, its supposed to be excellent. The director is the same
Joey: Okay. Okay, I can do this. I can tell her how I feel. Just uh, just stand up straight. (Does so.) Take a couple deep breaths. (Does so.) Look confident. (Does so as Rachel opens the door and startles him.)
(Joey does the 232 divided by 13 bad news look.)
Rachel: So, does this (The dress) come in another color or (The store owner walks away.)