words in movies
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Rachel and Monica enter. Rachel is limping and leaning on Monica for support.]
[Scene: The Hospital, Monica and Rachel are waiting for the doctors to arrive. They enter and are played by Noah Wyle and George Clooney.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey is waiting for Phoebe to arrive for her surprise birthday party. Rachel and Monica is telling Chandler about Rachel's incident.]
Rachel: Not stupid. The very cute, cute, cute doctors asked us out for tomorrow night, and I said "yes."
Monica: I think it's totally insane, I mean, they work for the hospital. It's like returning to the scene of the crime. You know, I say we blow off the dates.
Rachel: What? Monica, they are cute, they are doctors, (spelling it out in the air for her slow friend) cute doctors, doctors who are cute!
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
Mr. Geller: 'Cause there's time to make up for that. We can do stuff together. You always wanted to go to that Colonial Williamsburg. How 'bout we do that?
(Monica opens the door for Dr. Mitchell and Dr. Geoffrey.)
Monica: A wuss? Excuse me for living in the real world, okay?
(Rachel brightly limps back across the apartment with glasses of wine for the cute doctors, leaving an open-mouthed Monica in her wake.)
Dr. Rosen: Good for you.
Rachel: Would you excuse me for a second?
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)
Phoebe: Oh, no. Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you?
Joey: I've been trying for two days. When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk. I can't believe she's blowin' me off.
Ursula: Right... Oh, I got something for you, too.
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
(Trying not to wrinkle her nose, Phoebe smiles back realising it's down to her to make up for her negligent sister. Meanwhile, Ursula still hasn't received her side salad, but when she attempts to attract the waiter's attention, he ignores her.)
Rachel: (as Monica) Yeah, and and, I'm just gonna pay for this with a check.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]
Ross: Yours, I just got 43 points for 'KIDNEY'.
Chandler: No, no, you got zero points for 'IDNEY'.
Nurse: Excuse me... This hospital is for people!
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is playing "She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not" with the petals of a flower, alternately looking hopeful and annoyed. Phoebe enters, but not as herself, for she has changed the style of her hair and make-up to match that of her twin sister. She hangs up her coat, revealing her new cardigan. Nervously, she smooths out the identifying garment, approaching Joey who sits next to the main sofa.]
(Phoebe smiles, when Joey takes her face in his hands and kisses her. Joey gets up to leave but stops suddenly. Phoebe silently shouts "Oh, whoa!!" to herself, and leans back in the sofa to recover, a hand to her tingling lips. A thoughtful Joey is also feeling his lips, so he hesitates for a moment, then returns for a better view, he thinks again, cocking his head from side to side to regard her profile from various angles, then...)
(The others rush to the window for a look.)
Cecilia: That is a tricky one. Well, Joey I really wanna thank you. Youve, well you made a very difficult time for me a little less painful.
Ross: Believe me, it seems like less because they hid it from us for so long.
(Joey leaves and Monica comes up for air.)
(Joey gives him a thumbs up and heads for the chicken.)
CHANDLER: Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love? What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.
Joey: Oh, Im sorry, Ross. Ill get it for you right now. And since I made you wait, Ill toss in a free muffin.
Chandler: Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss.
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .
Phoebe: Well, I'm watching it for some friends who went out of town. Wait. (She bends down, picks up the dog, and waves with one of its paws) Hello, my name is Clunkers. May I please stay with you nice people?
Joey: Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason.
Chandler: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
Chandler: (angrily) Well next time ask! Or at least wait for me to ask! (He storms out.)
Phoebe: Good for you! And hey, I thought your paper on punctuated equilibrium in the Devonian era was top notch!
Chandler: Im gettin my chair back! (Heads for Joey and Rachels.)
Phoebe: I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
Chandler: No! No! I dont want him to know were yet! Im not sure Im ready for that. And besides hes not gonna be too happy to see me either.
Ross: No Rach! Come on! No-no! Yeah, Im sure we wont get arrested for this.
JOEY: What? You think I'm too dumb to understand that a husband needs to be with his wife?� Huh?� Do you think I'm like, "Duh."� (He strikes himself in the head with the bat.� He stands dazed for a moment.)
Chandler: Believe me, Ive been saying that for years. Oh my God!
Ross: Can you believe this? Were gonna be on the platform for the Millennium moment!
[Scene: Jen's apartment, Ross is picking her up for their date.]
Chandler: Yeah. Thanks for making me do this.
Ross: I mean youre not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
Chandler: For my last birthday you gave me a hug! (To Rachel) Okay, read the card! Read the card!
Chandler: (smiling) Hey, I hear what your saying, okay? And, thanks for the warning.
Ross: Not for the next few minutes.
Rachel: Hey! Those are all the things Im responsible for!
Monica: Joe... Emus are birds. You raise them for meat.
Phoebe: No, I like him a lot but I don't think I'm ready for this!
Monica: (looking at her hand) Yknow what shoes would look great with this ring? Diamond shoes! (Sees Chandler sitting on the bed.) Youre not getting dressed. (Chandler quietly folds over the comforter on the bed making a spot for her.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is standing in the kitchen ready to leave for the rehearsal dinner.]
Chandler: Mom. Thanks for wearing something. (They hug.) (Shes wearing a tight dress with a lot of cleavage showing.)
Rachel: Okay well Ross! Stop it please! Wait a minute! (Motions for him to follow her lead, but he angrily shakes his head no. So she pokes him.)
Rachel: Hi! I got you some coffee. To, uh (She looks for a place to set it on his messy desk and he clears a spot for her to set it down.) fair enough. So! Do you got anything for me?
Rachel: Well of course that is what Im here for!
Joey: Well, you seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you?
Ross: Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is! Mom! Look if you see Chandler, could you just let him know Im looking for him?
The Assistant Director: (To Joey) Heres your call sheet for tomorrow.
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
Chandler: Okay. (Starts running for the bedroom) Im gonna get the ring! Im gonna get the ring! (Does so) Im gonna go find her and (starts running for the door) Im just going to propose!
(Phoebe and Ross go to look for Chandler and Rachel enters Monica and Chandlers.)
Chandler: Uh, Joey is gonna be right back. Right back! (Tries to pantomime it for her.) Meanwhile, let's-let's-let's talk about you. (Pause.) So, you're old and small.
The Director: Joey, you gotta stay until the end. We cant stop filming just for you. Its not like its your wedding. (Starts to walk away.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is reading Chicken Soup for the Soul as Monica enters.]
Zack: Uhm... no. Although I did have an uncle who voted for Dukakis.
Monica: (getting up) Im gonna go put my make up on, we have to be at the hotel in an hour! (Starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Okay. All right. (Gets up.) Honey listen. When I tell you what Im about to tell you, I need you to remember that we are all here for you and that we love you.
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Monica: (starting to cry) Im so happy for me.
Chandler: Okay, excuse me for a minute. (Starts to leave)
Ross: Pheebs, youre talking about putting your body through an awful lot, I mean morning sickness, uhh, labour, and its all for somebody else!
Ross: (pause) Youre right, thanks for keeping me honest dad.
Ross: Uh Phoebe, can I see you for a second?
Richard: Why? Are we done for the day?
[Scene: The Hotel, Phoebe and Ross are looking for Chandler.]
Phoebe: I'm telling you! Oh, okay! This is the part of the musical where there'd be a really good convincing song. (Singing) "Bam-bam, don't take no for an answer. Bam-bam, don't let love fly away. Bam-bam-bam-bam..."
Ross: Okay, okay, I was typing names into the library computer earlier, yknow-yknow for fun, and I typed mine in and guess what came up? My doctoral dissertation! Its here! Yeah, its right-its right down here! In the biggest library in the university! (They start heading that way, towards a secluded section behind the racks.)
{Transcribers Note: There was no trailer for this episode. See you in season 8; which will start this fall.}
Conan: For example, I dont have to memorize lines. You guys actually have to remember what to say and you probably forget from time to time. Yes?
Melissa: anyway, his name is Allan and weve been going out for three years. He was my first client when I became a party planner. He was planning a party for his girlfriend at the time. Oh well. (Rachel and Phoebe politely laugh) And he was Theta Beta Pi at Syracuse.
Chandler: Umm, you know how we always said that it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? You know, you could study French cooking and I could write and we could take a picnic along the Seine and go wine tasting in Bordeaux?
Monica: Chandler, youre not fourteen anymore. Okay? Maybe its time that you let that stuff go. If your fathers not at your wedding youre gonna regret it for the rest of your life.
Monica: She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me! Look at this, look. She buys tickets for plays that I wanna see. She, she buys clothes from stores that I'm intimidated by the sales people. She spent three hundred dollars on art supplies.
Rachel: Well first, for forgetting to throw you a bridal shower.
Joey: Hey and, this is a little extra something for yknow, always being there for me.
Rachel: I cant believe theyve been together for three years.
Cailin: I dont know. Could be because I dont feel like standing around all night waiting for some guy who may or may not scream.
Monica: Just, I love you so much. Just Its just sometimes it bothers me that Im never gonna have that feeling. Yknow when you meet someone for the first time and its new and exciting? Yknow that rush?
David: We enjoy watching each other. And I settle for watching each others performance, and we like each other.
Conan: Okay Friends gang, thanks for doing it.
Monica: Oh wow! Okay. Dont scare me like that okay? I mean for a minute there I was like, "Oh my God! The worst has happened!"
Matthew: Well thank for coming here, its good to see you.
Monica: A jazz trio for cocktails. The Bay City Rollers for dancing. Wait, that was from my sixth grade wedding.
Rachel: For you. (Chandler leaves.)
Rachel: Oh, thank you for doing that. I just cant deal with this just quite yet.
Bandleader: Thank you very much! Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to introduce to you for the very first time, Mr. and Mrs. Chandler Bing!
Chandler: Before we go out there Ive got a present for ya.
Monica: This baby has got everything. Take yknow, locations for instance. (She opens up the binder to the locations chapter.) First, organized alphabetically, then geographically, then by square footage.
MNCA: Oh no no, this is not for him, this is for me. That way he's still sober but I find his stories about shoelaces much more amusing.
Melissa: Oh, isnt a shame when one girl ruins it for the whole bunch? (Phoebe agrees by grunting.)
Chandler: Bravo Dennis thanks for pleasing my mother so.
(Ross starts looking for table six and finds out that its the kids table. He sees Mona sitting at another table.)
David: For me, I have a hard time with le Blanc in particular. When-whenI mean when
Phoebe: I brought a bunch of stuff for the house, so check it out. Ha-ha. (She removes this large ceramic dog that comes up to the second floor and places it next to the house.)
Monica: Nice work everybody! So much for the yknow, "You can drive it, but dont tell Rachel" plan!
Phoebe: Oh, I thought this was your party and it turns out its a party for Howard. He's just the sweetest little man! (A guest walks up to her.)
PHOEBE: I hate this. 'Cause I tell you, I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us, and almost everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this.
Dennis Phillips: Look umm Joey, I-I dont think youre quite right for this project.
Joey: Well, Id like to think there was something for everyone. Look, I know youre casting for this new show
[Scene: Chandler's office, Chandler looks around, opens his desk drawer, takes a puff of a cigarette, sprays around some air freshener, and takes some breath spray. He types for a little while, opens the drawer again, and takes another drag of the cigarette. While not paying attention, he sprays the breath spray around the room, takes a squirt of air freshener and gags.]
Joey: YeahHey, dont worry, shes a terrific girl. And hey listen, could you do me a favor? When she comes out could you just mention that Im not looking for a serious relationship; thatd be great.
[Scene: The Womens Restroom, Rachel and Phoebe are waiting for the outcome of Rachels second test.]
Monica: They wont be ready for weeks.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment, Phoebe is getting out linens for Cassie who is in the bathroom.]
Monica: Thats true! (Happily) I knew I married you for a reason!
Joey: No, no, no, don't! I've been waitin' for like, forever to go out with Lorraine. Just calm down.
Phoebe: Ohhh! My God! For tiny salt!
Ross: Well, Im sure theyre still somewhere here in the hotel. Ill-Ill help you look for them.
Monica: Good. Okay, Im just gonna wait for Chandler to open the rest of them.