words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are getting ready for the flight to London and Monica comes running in.]
Monica: Myself. Yknow for remembering to pack a thing. Yeah, you do a good thing, you get a check! (pause) My mom does it, I never realized it was weird.
(Chandler kneels down with his arms spread waiting for his hug.
(And with that, television history is made as, for the first time ever, an entire show moves its entire production to an entirely different country to make a single episode. We get shots of Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Big Ben, and the London Marriott as Joey and Chandler exit.)
Phoebe: So-so, what do you want for lunch?
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
The Vendor: So, what are you guys in the market for? Weve got uh, scarves, tulip post cards...
Joey: Well, I like it. Here you go. (He pays for the hat.)
Chandler: All right, look, youre not really gonna buy that are you? Dont you think youve embarrassed me enough for one day?
Ross: Hey! I just spoke to your dad, and you know what? He seems to think well be able to find a new place for the wedding.
Emily: No. But, Monica and I were talking, and-and I was so upset about the hall being knocked down, and she suggested that we put the wedding off for a bit.
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
Joey: Sh-shh-shh! (He motions for her to watch something he has taped.)
Housekeeper: This is the housekeeper speaking. And by the way, young lady, that is not how one addresses oneself on the telephone. First one identifies oneself and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak.
Phoebe: No no no, Ill be nice, I swear!!! Could you just give me the number for where they are?
Mr. Waltham: Terribly nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding. (He hand a multipage bill to Jack.)
Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. its insane.
Ross: Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn.
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Mr. Geller: Theres no way in hell, Im paying for it.
Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, Im not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it werent for us, cheap little man. (Emilys stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)
Chandler: Because hes crazy. Okay? He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic.
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. Ill cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.
Joey: Okay. (They both walk off to watch for Rachel.)
(Ross and chandler are standing next to the alter. Ross is practicing for the wedding.)
Ross: (Using a slightly different inflection for each.) I do. I do. I do.
[Scene: Joeys in the front entrance watching for Rachel. The bridesmaid he met at the rehearsal dinner come in.)
Mrs. Geller: Theres nothing to discuss. Were not paying for your wine cellar.
Mrs. Waltham: (Slapping the phone into Joeys chest.) Joey theres a girl on the phone for you.
Rachel: Well then you just must have a natural talent for it.
Monica: Im just saying its been a really long time for you. I mean, women have needs. Do it, get yours!
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Rachel: Oh we just put her down for a nap.
Monica: Oh, look! Acting for Beginners! Want to feel good about yourself?
Rachel: Hey! Hey, Pheebs, check it out. Yeah, for my desert, I have chosen to make a traditional English truffle!
Rachel: Theyre not!! Ross, theyre just saving them for the important people!! Okay?! What-what if I was the president?!
Rachel: (interrupting her) Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Im sorry, semi-private? We (Laughs), we asked for a private room.
Ross: Hi! Hi, Im uh Ross. Im here to ruin this magical day for you.
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) This is the last call for Flight 1066 to Athens. The last call.
Monica: It is going to be okay! (Mrs. Green glances over her shoulder and glares at Monica while she heads for the bathroom.) It was worth a shot.
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
Rachel: Oh, thank you so much for coming. Ross, get in here!
Chandler: It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isnt fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! (Sits down heavily.) I was gonna propose tonight.
Phoebe: Sure! I feel so bad for you; I broke my leg once too.
(Rachel motions for Ross to close the privacy screen, which he does.)
Chandler: Well, it certainly worked for that Valdez kid.
Ben: Are you for Hanukkah, too? Because I'm part-Jewish.
ROSS: Believe me, I've been dreaming about me and Rachel for ten years now. But now, I'm with Julie, so it's like me and Julie, me and Rachel, me and Julie, me and... [Rachel enters, carrying a tray]... Rachel. Rachel, Rachel.
Rachel: Oh for the love of God!
Ross: Uh actually, I sent the flowers before the actual date. So techincally, technically I didnt break any rules. Thanks for stopping by though.
Chandler: (suppressing a smile) What I do do is manage to uh, create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me.
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
Chandler: Alright. Once I got on the subway, right, and it was at night, and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn... just for the hell of it.
Ross: Yknow what I think it is? I think youve made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesnt want to leave.
Dr. Long: Push. Push. Come on push for five seconds. 5 4
Rachel: I cant. Please, you do it for me.
Rachel: Oh hey you. Thanks for coming out of me. (The baby cries.) I know. Oh. Yeah. Oh, shes looking at me. Hi! I know you.
Dr. Long: Thats fine, for now well just call her Baby Girl Green.
Phoebe: Hey! Ive got a great idea for party favors for the shower. Okay, we get some uh mahogany boxes and carve everyones names in them and inside is everyones individual birth stone.
Ross: Ugh, easy for you to say, you already know what your kids names are going to be.
[Scene: The Portrait Studio, Monica is waiting for Chandler to make another attempt at taking a good picture.]
Joey: (entering) Hey guys! I was at the library all morning and I already finished my five pages for today!
Eric: I dont think they have a name for it. Its just I get nervous; I start sweating like crazy.
Rachel: No we werent! It was nothing! It was one night, senior year we went to a party, had a lot of sangria and yknow, ended up kissing for a bit.
Joey: (taking Chandler aside) Hey Chandler, can I talk to you for a second?
Monica: Okay! It's time for dinner. Everyone we're using our fancy china.. um and its very expensive so please be careful.
Ross: What? (Motions for Phoebe to go outside with him.) Oh my God! She-she thinks were engaged! Why? Why? Why would she think were engaged?!
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Rachel: Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable.
Joey: Wait! Terry! WaitLookWait I-I Look, Im really sorry about before. I was an idiot thinking Im too big to audition for you. You gotta give me another chance.
Nurse: Ill come back for her later.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica is setting the table for dinner as Chandler enters.]
Rachel: Oh you guys thanks for doing this.
Chandler: Okay, here is the thing. We have thrown a very formal surprise party for you in there! All of your friends are in there and your parents!
Phoebe: I can say I told you so but shes kinda doing that for me.
Emily: Oh, no-no, yknow I absolutely adore Rachel its just that, well it might be a awkward for you. But its absolutely your decision. (Gets up.) More tea?
Joey's Doctor: Kidney stones! Now, ordinarily Mr. Tribbiani, we try to break up the stones up with shock waves, but they're to close to the bladder now. Which means we can either wait for you to pass them or else go up the urethra
Chandler: Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Sandy: Like in my last job, I met Daniel when he was three weeks old. And I got to watch him grow into this awesome person... When I left, I said: I'll see you soon... And he said to me: Skdandy... (Ross and Rachel look puzzled) That was his name for me... I'll see you every day... right in... (points at his heart, but starts to cry before he can finish his sentence. Rachel tries to comfort him, but Ross has this "you've got to be kidding me" look all over him)
Chandler: Umm maam, do you have a minute? (She points for him to come in) I kind of have some bad news. I dont think I can move to Tulsa.
Rachel: I mean I got news for you mister, Emma? Not easy.
Joey: How long do you have to go for?
Announcer: Presenting the award for Favorite Supporting Actress is Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives. (Applause as Joey angrily walks to the podium and eyes the trophy.)
Monica: No. I can't be away from you for that long.
Phoebe: Ooh, great! Just the reaction I was hoping for.
Joey: Yeah, so you found someone for me. You didn't forget?
Joey: Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I dont really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying?
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
Chandler: Looking for restaurant jobs for you in Tulsa.
Rachel: Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma.
Phoebe: You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you.
Ross: Hey! So what's the big news you had us rush all the way over here for?
Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!
Nurse: (To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you.
Sally: It's hard isn't it? There's almost no time for a social life. I mean, where are you gonna meet someone?
Phoebe: oh umm Mike's picking me up for a date.
Phoebe: Thank you. Can you believe no-one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me?
Phoebe: Would you stop that! Do you wanna know the first thing she said when she came back from her lunch with Richard? She didn't feel anything for him. She loves you!
Ross: I know and yet here you are all ready for the next date.
Joey raises his hand: Uh.. who has to die for me to get her?
Joey: yeah and hey thanks again for letting me having that last piece of cake at the restaurant.
Phoebe: (reading): Dear Ms. Green, thank you for your inquiry, however... oh... (crumples up letter)
[Scene: Phoebe's at her apartment waiting for Mike Ross comes over.]
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Mike: I just think there's somebody better out there for you, (pause) I mean I'm not saying me but. maybe me.
Mike: No. well look can I think your weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also wanna kiss you.
Phoebe: Ohh. Oh wait! (Jis) you guys won�t be late for my dinner, will you?
Chandler: But, those are for you.
Monica: Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
Chandler: No-no, wait! There's got to be a better explanation. You can tell them you had to make an adult film for your (Thinks) adult film class.
Monica: Uch. I am still so mad at you for smoking.
Phoebe: You guys, we�ve been waiting for you for a long time, maybe you should order.
Joey: Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not. Eh? All right, now, I'm going to get back to my bucket. I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs. (Offers it to everyone.)
Chandler: Oh, I'm so glad we cleared that up. Look, I'm sorry, some things are different for men and for women.
Joey: Oh no-no, no for I second there I counted six fingers, but one was from the other hand so were good.
Joey: Interesting. all right I'll go out with her again and try to get past it (reaches for the chips) OH SALT BLOATY!
Mike: You need both hands for that?
Rachel: That's great, great. So do you have any questions for us?
Rachel: Allright. Well thank you so much for coming... (they're standing up and make their way to the door)
Phoebe: Wow. Where is your luggage? (David thinks for a while)
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
Rachel: Oh, that would be great! (Sandy leaves for Emma's room) I love him, I love him, I love him...
Joey: Oh Monica. (goes over and hugs her, then looks at the form and stops hugging her.) Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, (sees Monica) for like a day. (hugs her again).
Sandy: Oh, oh, I can do it for her, if you want...
Chandler: (entering, angry) Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? (Pause) Your tailor is a very bad man!
Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...
[Scene: Chandler arrives home and Monica's got a video of Sharks ready for Chandler.]
Phoebe: (points to David) And you thanks for the face massage. Thank you.