words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are getting ready for the flight to London and Monica comes running in.]
Monica: Myself. Yknow for remembering to pack a thing. Yeah, you do a good thing, you get a check! (pause) My mom does it, I never realized it was weird.
(Chandler kneels down with his arms spread waiting for his hug.
(And with that, television history is made as, for the first time ever, an entire show moves its entire production to an entirely different country to make a single episode. We get shots of Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Big Ben, and the London Marriott as Joey and Chandler exit.)
Phoebe: So-so, what do you want for lunch?
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
The Vendor: So, what are you guys in the market for? Weve got uh, scarves, tulip post cards...
Joey: Well, I like it. Here you go. (He pays for the hat.)
Chandler: All right, look, youre not really gonna buy that are you? Dont you think youve embarrassed me enough for one day?
Ross: Hey! I just spoke to your dad, and you know what? He seems to think well be able to find a new place for the wedding.
Emily: No. But, Monica and I were talking, and-and I was so upset about the hall being knocked down, and she suggested that we put the wedding off for a bit.
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
Joey: Sh-shh-shh! (He motions for her to watch something he has taped.)
Housekeeper: This is the housekeeper speaking. And by the way, young lady, that is not how one addresses oneself on the telephone. First one identifies oneself and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak.
Phoebe: No no no, Ill be nice, I swear!!! Could you just give me the number for where they are?
Mr. Waltham: Terribly nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding. (He hand a multipage bill to Jack.)
Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. its insane.
Ross: Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn.
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Mr. Geller: Theres no way in hell, Im paying for it.
Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, Im not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it werent for us, cheap little man. (Emilys stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)
Chandler: Because hes crazy. Okay? He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic.
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. Ill cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.
Joey: Okay. (They both walk off to watch for Rachel.)
(Ross and chandler are standing next to the alter. Ross is practicing for the wedding.)
Ross: (Using a slightly different inflection for each.) I do. I do. I do.
[Scene: Joeys in the front entrance watching for Rachel. The bridesmaid he met at the rehearsal dinner come in.)
Mrs. Geller: Theres nothing to discuss. Were not paying for your wine cellar.
Mrs. Waltham: (Slapping the phone into Joeys chest.) Joey theres a girl on the phone for you.
Phoebe: Well, I still think that it’s a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her! And if you need to, just get an extra plate of fries for the table!
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Rachel: Okay. Thank you! Thank you! BecauseI'm sorry, all right. Because y'know what? She didn't want menot important. The point is, I was right. Your decision. Okay? I was right. (She starts for the door.) (Stops) Your decision.
Rachel: Yes, they will! You know what you should do? Just go take a walk, all right? I know your size and I’m... I’m gonna pick up some really good stuff for you.
Agency guy: Do you have any question for Erica?
Rachel: Oh! Really? Do you wanna try some of them on for me?
Phoebe: Okay, oh, and Emma needs a cowgirl outfit for the competition.
Ross: (not getting it) Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here.
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
Ross: Well, the old lady died. And how do I know? Her dying wish was for one last kiss. But I dont care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
Monica: Yeah, but the important thing to know about us, is how much we would care for this little baby. (holds up the sonogram)
Rachel (on the phone): No, no, this is not what I ordered. Ok? I went all the way to New Jersey so that I could have the perfect cake for my daughter’s birthday and I need a bunny cake, right now!
Ross: Turns out this sweater is made for a woman.
Joey: Hey! Let me ask you guys something. I have a new headshot taken tomorrow right and the photographer said she thinks Ishould have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy?
Chandler: It’s perfect. It’s everything we’ve been looking for.
Chandler: No-ot for me it doesn’t.
Chandler: Thank you so much for agreeing to see us.
(they all look confused and sorry for her)
Phoebe: Well, look, whatever happens, we’re here for you and we love you.
Phoebe: You just did it again. Chandler, your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone!
Joey: I knew he couldn't be with a woman for 45 minutes!!
Ross: You know what, if you wanna look for a house, that's okay.
Rachel: For like a half an hour! Man, you can lie about Sweden!
Rachel: That is totally different for two reasons. One - I didn't know that you knew that. And two, I wasn't some creep staring at his ass, we had a deap meaningful relationship.
(pause before Monica and Chandler speak, they look like they are looking for the right words)
[Scene: The restaurant. Phoebe and Joey are sitting alone at a table for six.]
Joey: Hey, for what its worth, with Rachel I dont think youll ever be just (Makes quote marks.) "anybody."
JOEY: Yeah.� Maybe Michael Jordon will dive for the ball and break my jaw with his knee.
JOEY: No, I don't. It's like, ya know, you work your whole life for somethin' and you think that when you get it it's never gonna be as good as you thought it would be. But this so was. Ya know, it changed everything. Like the other day, I got this credit card application, and I was pre- approved. Huh? I've never been pre-approved for anything in my life.
Mike: Maybe I'll sign for it. Tear it open. Pull out the packing material...
Rachel: Aah! Why? What are these for?
Ross: Seriously you guys, what's going on? What are these for?
Ross: Except for "Match game"...
Joey: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, (Joey from TV) you know that's bad for the paper tray.
Monica: Yeah, we used to perform for our family and friends.
Rachel: Okay, what? What is too sensitive? (There's music coming from the living room. Ross opens the door to the living room and he and Rachel see Sandy play a song for Emma on his recorder. Rachel is moved by this, but Ross only sees his point proven again, and walks back into the kitchen, angrily. The door he was holding, swings back and hits Rachel.)
Donny: You crossed the line. Joey, describe for Gene these things that have lines. Give me 20 seconds on the clock, please. Ready, go!
Phoebe: (to Rachel) Thank you so much for this.
Joey: Yeah! But that is not what they're looking for. (time's finished) OOOH!
Rachel: Pheebs, I... there isn't gonna be any flying about! We actually thought we were a little too mature for stuff like that.
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
Roy: Ooh, boy. You should warn people there's no elevator! I should not have had that Mexican food for lunch.
Chandler: Well... there's surrogacy, but Monica has dreamt her whole life of carrying a child, she has felt that watching a surrogate would be... too hard for her.
Phoebe: I don't care. We're not paying you 300 dollars for this.
Rachel: Yeah, Rachel. And this (points to Monica) is Ross' sister, Monica. We met at Thanksgiving. (looks around the room as if searching for something more interesting to do).
Monica: Do NOT let me sit in one of those. We'll be here for days.
Ross: (thinks about it for a few seconds) What did you do to my mom?
Phoebe: Maybe, maybe I'll dance for you. (She starts doing a rather suggestive and seductive dance that's silly at the same time.)
Rachel: (still searching) Oh, I know... I know it's been really hard for you.
Rachel: (She considers it for a second) Yeah okay. (She puts her hands around his neck and they start kissing again)
Phoebe: Your last dance. Do it for us.
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Gene: "I'd like to go for a walk", uhm "scratch my belly".
Ross: Because... the night you kissed Rachel was the night I kissed Rachel for the very first time.
Monica: I mean, who knows how long it's gonna take for someone else to give us a baby? What if, what if no one ever picks us?
Joey: They're ribbed for *your* pleasure.
Joey: No! No... and, for the record, I've also never given her a frosting from a can!
Monica: I dont believe this! When someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you that means they wanna have sex?
(Cut to Chandler. He's walking around looking for Ross. He sees him kissing a girl next to a vending machine)
Chandler: No stupid jokes. I thought that was for the actual wedding.
[Scene: Flight 1066 to Athens, Rachel is ordering a drink for Ross and herself.]
Mike: Thanks for coming you guys.
Joey: You know, on the one hand you're happy for them, but on the other hand it's hard to let go.
Mike: You both wanna do it? Uhm... there's only room for one.
Mike: Yeah, yeah. Hey, thanks for doing that.
Joey: So, you know I'm filling in for Phoebe's step dad, tomorrow, right?
Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today.
Monica: And that's great for you guys, but we want a lawn and a swingset...
Chandler: I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child but I don't think there is one.
Chandler: Oh come on! Hello! Hi! My name is Chandler, here's my friend Ross right here, and we were wondering you know if you're up for it. We only need six more people for a human pyramid...Swoop!! Swoop!!
Ross: (smiling to himself) Good. I'm just getting some coffee. So I'm alert for the wedding.
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, I'm so happy for you honey. (she gives her a kiss)
Ross: Uhm, ministers don't ride the subway for free.
Chandler: Hm-hmm, I told you! (Looks at the clock) I cant believe that Ive only got two hours before I call in sick for work.
Phoebe: As a matter of fact she said that's how I am going to die. (pause ) So, excuse me for being a little skittish.
Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!
Monica: These are for Erica!
Ross: (looking at Rachel entering with Emma) Oh, hi! Hi! Thanks for showing you up thirty minutes late!
Ross: Still-still, let me come... for me.
Ross: No, it's not just that. It's justI want someone who... who does something for me, y'know? Who gets my heart pounding, who... who makes me, uh... (begins to stare lovingly at Rachel)
Ross: I didnt know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didnt finish the whole letter!
Rachel: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Would you stay here with me for a little while?
Rachel: Ok. (She sits on the bed and Ross sits near her) Thank you for coming with me today.
Erica: Thanks so much for taking me to all those places. I had a great time.
Erica: Thanks so much for showing me around.
Joey: (sounding very proud of himself) Some of the words are a little too sophisticated for ya?
Rachel: Yeah! Oh by the way, thank you for loaning us Pamela and Yasmine.
Joey: For one thing, the guy on the tape said I was doing a good job!
Ross: Hey, I was looking out for you.
Chandler: All right, but you cant use that again for a whole year. Im in.
[Scene: A restaurant. Ross and Charlie are waiting for her ex-boyfriend, Benjamin Hobart]
Ross: Emma's down for the night.
Director: (to Joey) Good job, little buddy. That was some really good French. But I think we're gonna go with someone else for the part.
Rachel: Okay... Hey listen, just before you go I-I again, I just wanna say "thank you" for coming with me.
Rachel: In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex... just do it. (she smiles fakely at him)
Mike: (raising his glass) Thank you guys for having us over.
Ross: I'm up for tenure.
Monica: I don't know who I'm happiest for...