words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler are getting ready for the flight to London and Monica comes running in.]
Monica: Myself. Yknow for remembering to pack a thing. Yeah, you do a good thing, you get a check! (pause) My mom does it, I never realized it was weird.
(Chandler kneels down with his arms spread waiting for his hug.
(And with that, television history is made as, for the first time ever, an entire show moves its entire production to an entirely different country to make a single episode. We get shots of Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Big Ben, and the London Marriott as Joey and Chandler exit.)
Phoebe: So-so, what do you want for lunch?
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
The Vendor: So, what are you guys in the market for? Weve got uh, scarves, tulip post cards...
Joey: Well, I like it. Here you go. (He pays for the hat.)
Chandler: All right, look, youre not really gonna buy that are you? Dont you think youve embarrassed me enough for one day?
Ross: Hey! I just spoke to your dad, and you know what? He seems to think well be able to find a new place for the wedding.
Emily: No. But, Monica and I were talking, and-and I was so upset about the hall being knocked down, and she suggested that we put the wedding off for a bit.
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
Joey: Sh-shh-shh! (He motions for her to watch something he has taped.)
Housekeeper: This is the housekeeper speaking. And by the way, young lady, that is not how one addresses oneself on the telephone. First one identifies oneself and then asks for the person with whom one wishes to speak.
Phoebe: No no no, Ill be nice, I swear!!! Could you just give me the number for where they are?
Mr. Waltham: Terribly nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding. (He hand a multipage bill to Jack.)
Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. its insane.
Ross: Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn.
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Mr. Geller: Theres no way in hell, Im paying for it.
Mr. Geller: All-right fine, but I just want to say, Im not paying for your wine cellar. You thieving, would be speaking German if it werent for us, cheap little man. (Emilys stepmum looks shocked. Jack and Judy get up and leave.)
Chandler: Because hes crazy. Okay? He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic.
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. Ill cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.
Joey: Okay. (They both walk off to watch for Rachel.)
(Ross and chandler are standing next to the alter. Ross is practicing for the wedding.)
Ross: (Using a slightly different inflection for each.) I do. I do. I do.
[Scene: Joeys in the front entrance watching for Rachel. The bridesmaid he met at the rehearsal dinner come in.)
Mrs. Geller: Theres nothing to discuss. Were not paying for your wine cellar.
Mrs. Waltham: (Slapping the phone into Joeys chest.) Joey theres a girl on the phone for you.
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry. Please apologise to Sandy and the Snufflebumps for me.
Monica: I can't believe you're not gonna be here for Christmas.
Phoebe: So here is a, a very special holiday song that I wrote for some very important people to me. (singing:)
Ross: I cant believe someone would do that for a grade.
Chandler: No not okay, you can't look for Monica's presents!
Rachel: Don't worry, we're just gonna search here for an hour, and then we're gonna go over to Joey's and search, OK?
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Phoebe: Ooh, who's it for?
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Joey: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.
Ross: Oh, nothin much. Just trying to figure out what Im gonna do for dinner.
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Others: (simultaneously) Merry Christmas! (except for Phoebe...)
Wendy: Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some *pissed off* insurance people looking for that ham.
Phoebe Sr: I mean, I know what Im talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. (Phoebe is playing with the puppy again, and not listening) I really shouldnt have given you the puppy first.
Monica: Eh, you work for that.
Joey: Name? (Ross looks at him.) I know Ross but whats it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher.
Chandler: Oh, she's at home, putting up decorations for Rachel's birthday party tonight.
Joey: You damn right I am, I've been waiting for a cookie for 7 minutes.
Gavin: For what?
Monica: Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Joey: Oh, man, why did have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't have it makes me want her even more!
Mike: Better think of a new name for him.
Phoebe: I don't know, I kinda like Bob for a girl.
Joey: For a walk.
Chandler: Hello? Oh hi, Doctor Connelly. (pause) No, she's not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this? (his smile fades as he hears the answer) Oh. (pause) Well, so what does that mean? (pause) Ok. Ok, thank you. Thanks. (hangs up)
Monica: Ready for your birthday lunch?
Monica: Oh, you're welcome for the party. I'm glad you're having a good time.
Monica: Wouldn't kick her out of bed. No more Vodka for me! (put her glass down)
Man: (to wife): Toby... Oh, for God's sake, I don't know what she's talking about! There's no Rachel! Don't give me that deep freeze.
Chandler: Yeah, I-I-I think so. (Pauses and thinks about it for a second) Yeah, I-I think so...
Joanna: (interrupting) Okay, but that would actually be a big step down for me.
Rachel: Hi. Thanks for the party, honey. Should I help you clean up?
Gavin: I do have feelings for you.
Rachel: Well Monica seems to think it's because you have feelings for me.
Rachel: yeah your both so slutty you don't even remember who you've slept with, you're made for each other.
Joey: Uh, yknow, starve a fever, go to a play for a cold.
Rachel: Oh, I mean shes gonna be at the wedding waiting for him and people will be whispering, "Oh that poor girl." Yknow? Then shell have to come back here and live all alone.
Woman: How much do I owe you for the muffin and the latte?
Rachel: Pheebs, I would make a reservation for five, because one of us has to stay home and watch Emma. (to Ross:) Which one of us should go to dinner?
Doug: Bing! Were all set for tonight, 8 oclock.
Rachel: Oh look, shes pulling away again! Do you think my nipples are too big for her mouth? (Joey gets embarrassed.) She looks scared. Doesnt she look scared?
Joey: All right, look, you got to help me out, ok? Look, I have the magic marker, I want you to fill in the skinny one soI don�t look stupid for my pictures.
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Monica: Good? Didn�t you hear them...I was great! Thank you so much for making me do this. That�s is the best gift ever.
Rachel: Oh, hey! Hi, there you are, I�ve been looking for you everywhere!
Joey: Listen that�s a pretty girly hour we just spent, we should add some manly make up for it.
Ross: So, I got us some reservations for Sunday night, okay? How about, Ernies at 9 oclock?
Ross: When I happened to look through the window and I see you kissing a guy you know, for what? A week?
Michelle: What are you taking amoxicillin for?
Chandler: (stopping him from going any further) Before you say anything, have we got a story for you! Guess who we bumped into at dinner!
Rachel: Hi. Can Emma and I live here for a while?
Ross: Yeah, sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that would be good for me...
Phoebe: I don't know. They're so perfect for each other; it's crazy.
Phoebe: You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other.
JOEY: Well, I think it went pretty well. I.. I got a callback for Thursday.
Joey (gives a thumbs up sign): Okay, okay. Wait till you hear who I got for Ross.
Joey: She even reads for pleasure!
Joey: Nah, just me. All alone. (all the food is served) Dinner for six for one, uh, you boys are about to see something really special.
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
Cheryl: I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable. (Ross attempts to clear a place for his coat and fold it small enough to fit. Then hit sits on the couch. Something falls on him from above and he brushes his neck off frantically.)
Phoebe: Did he go out for a cigarette?
PHOEBE: No, huh uh, I'm sorry, no. No, I'm not some like sloppy second, charity band. You know what, there are thousands of places in this city where people would be happy to pay to hear me play. (Out on the sidewalk, singing) When I play, I play for me, I don't need your charity. (Someone puts a coin in her guitar case) Thank you! La la la la la la la....
Rachel: (lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast � to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Chandler: (spinning around looking for him) I dont think you did a very thorough job!
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
JOEY: Absolutely.� You'd do it for me.� Not that you ever have to because I know how to keep my women satisfied.
Monica: Come on...I just need it for some rent and..and some other bills.
Monica, Chandler, Ross: Congratulations!/Good for you!/Great!
Ross: I can't believe you guys are moving in together. That's, that's great! I mean...I'm happy for you guys..
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters to find Monica waiting patiently for him. He closes the door and they start kissing.]
Chandler: What would she get for herself for two thousand dollars that she wouldn't tell me about?
Mike: Yeah well, that's the thing. For me it's as far as it can ever go.
Joey: Oh no no no no no... It wasn't... It wasn't because of your money problems, it was for something for her.
Chandler: No no! I just love the way you look, I am warm, for your form.
Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!
Steve: Well then you can't have any. (she grabs for the package, and it breaks open. Gummi-bears fly everywhere, some into the punch bowl on the table.) Bear overboard! I think he's drowning. (he throws some Sugar-O's into the punch bowl) Hey fellows! Grab on a Sugar-O... save yourself! (Mimicking the bears) "Help! I'm drowning! Help!"
Joey: Mmmm hmm! For your boob job!
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Monica is getting Chandler ready for his half of the plan.]
Rachel: Since when do take naps in that position. Oh God Monica, tell me you were waiting for a guy! Please tell me you were waiting for a guy!
Monica: Im Catwoman, who wants to borrow the dress when youre too big for it.
Monica: Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Chandler: So, ah... Any plans for the summer?
Phoebe: Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.
Chandler: No, no, no-no-no. I smoked for years, then I quit. Right now, I can�t remember why. (to everyone:) You�re not allowed to smoke in this office. Not right?
(They run for Phoebe's purse, Phoebe gets there first and takes the cell. Monica tries to take it away from her)
Monica: Oh wow wow wow!! Make room for your friend! (sits herself down between them)
Ross: No! That would be stupid! You're having it for me!
Rachel: I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap, have you seen Hugsy?
Monica: Hi, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe!
Kori: Hi. I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial service.
(someone knocks on the door) Oh, great. More party boys for Chandler!
Chandler: I'm sure it's somebody for you. Now, go hide. (Ross hides in the bedroom again)
Chandler: Well, come on, Ive been saving this money for six years and I kinda had some of it earmarked for the future, not just for a party.
Monica: Well, it doesn't really matter ... you're both wishing for the same thing, right?
Ross: Yeah, I uh, totally forgot about that. You mind if I take a rain check? I'm waiting for a call from Emily.
Joey: I can't tell you what I'm wishing for! Else...you know...won't come true!