words in movies
Phoebe: Thank you! (to Rachel) Oh, and I have something for you!
Chandler: Oh, then I'll tell you. My agency was bidding for a big account and they got it! It's my first national commercial!
Chandler: Oh... I don't know, I really don't think you're right for the part.
Chandler: First of all. Bravo. Uh, but I really don't think you're right for this. The part calls for a stuffy college professor.
Ross: Guess who's a finalist for a huge research grant! I'll give you a hint, he's looking right at you.
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Monica: Well, of course I do. What's not to like! I'll take her in a minute! But, you know, I think that you're giving up too easy, honey. I think that you need to fight for her!
Phoebe: Ok, I'll fight for her. Ok! Oh, wait, oh I just realized... if I do that, that means you don't get her.
Chandler: Joe, I told you, you're just not right for the part.
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Chandler: He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own!
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
[Scene: A restaurant. Ross and Charlie are waiting for her ex-boyfriend, Benjamin Hobart]
Charlie: Me too. (she and Benjamin are hugging for very long and Ross starts pretending to clear his throat, until they stop)
Benjamin: I'm sorry. I just haven't seen her for so long! All these feelings are rushing back! I'm starting to realize how much I missed her, and I'm gonna need you to break up with her.
Monica: You know, I would give her up, for you.
Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
Dr. Biely: Three for excavation and two for analysis.
Benjamin: No! I'm sorry, we were looking for "Baby It's You". Baby It's You.
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
Rachel: (surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
Benjamin: I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings for Charlie interfere with the interview process.
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Rachel: She climbs out of the frame, and then drags her half-a-body across the floor, just looking for legs to steal. (in a spooky, slow voice) And then with her one good hand, she slo-o-owly re-e-a-aches up and turns your doorknob.
(Joey leaves for his bedroom, and Rachel grins. She then takes Gladys and enters Monica's apartment.)
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)
Chandler: Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not.
Chandler: I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?
CHAN: I'm telling you this thing won't print. Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times. You know, for a hot line you are not so hot. What? What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek?
Phoebe: Okay, a meat eater. Fine, thats one for you.
Rachel: Ohh, you can say. Come on, I dont want you to feel like you cant tell me things. (Motions for him to sit down.)
Joey: And Chandler I cant believe I let you pay for this one. (They hug and he whispers in his ear.) Thanks man.
Cecilia: No, he already knows that he owns everything in the room! Hes not finding it out for the first time! So, try it again.
Cecilia: But Well now, nows a different time for me. (Starts to cry.)
(Rachel excitedly jumps up and heads for the door.)
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Wow! How long were we arguing for?
Rachel: (grabbing a beer out of the chairs fridge) I am so psyched I kept this chair for myself!
Ross: Well, these. These are yours right here. (Pointing to the boxes they just created for her.)
Chandler: No, but Horny for Monica Minister called, wanting to know if we were still together.
Monica: Okay, while were waiting for these pills to kick in, Im gonna sit you down on the couch. Come on. (Phoebe gets up and goes with her.) Get some nice soft pillows under your head, Im gonna turn the TV on and you can watch whatever you want. And ImSit down(She sits down on the couch)gonna make you some tea. And then, Im gonna rub your feet.
Chandler: A freakish thin date with a hanger for her head?
Monica: Phoebe, relax none of that stuff ever happens! They just put it on there for legal reasons!
Joey: Anyway, I started working on what Im going to say for the ceremony, do you wanna hear it?
Ross: Hey! Oh listen, I was just clearing some space for your stuff.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Monica: (entering) Hey guys! Do you wanna look at the song list for the wedding? (They ignore her.) Guys?
Monica: Im sorry. Im sorry. I-I should probably leave you girls alone. (She heads for the bedroom.)
Phoebe: Good for you!
Joey: No! Im up for a Soapie!
Joey: Okay. I got nominated for my part on Days of Our Lives!
Joey: No, no, no! Its real! And it has been since 1998. (Rachel returns from the bathroom.) Hey Rach! Rach! Im up for a Soapie!
Monica: Yeah, you're my husband. I'm not gonna live in a different state than you for 208 days out of the year.
Phoebe: Go for it.
CHANDLER: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
Joey: What award are you practicing for?
(Chandler and Ross head for opposite ends of the couch.)
Chandler: Easy for you to say; youll be wearing a veil.
Jessica Ashley: No, I try to save that for real awards. Now, if youll excuse me. (She exits.)
Ross: Uh Mr. Morse, can I speak to you for a moment?
Monica: What was it for?
Joey: Uh listen, heres your Soapie. I accepted it for ya. (Hands it to her.)
Chandler: Hey, by any chance did either of pick uh Rachel for your secret Santa, cause I wanna trade for her.
Ross: Yeah, well, this guy at work gave me "Sex for Dummies" as a joke.
Rachel: Hey Pheebs, can I talk to you over here for a second?
Rachel: Were paying for this yknow.
Rachel: Okay. Umm, what should we do for the theme?
Chandler: Yknow I was thinking if we had a a big fight and uh we broke up for a few hours
The Casting Director: Well, the director thinks youre really right for the part and wants to meet you tomorrow.
Phoebe: Well for the regular guy, its bad, but Chandler, Oh dear God!
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Monica: I guess you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present! (Runs out.)
Phoebe: Uh-huh, and a little seed money for the party. (Holds up $40.)
Ross: Uh-huh. Yeah I-I have a knack for impressions.
Phoebe: Hmm, yknow theres another word for people like that. Losers!
Rachel: (to the woman) Excuse us for a minute. (They go into the kitchen.) You didnt tell her to come?!
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Monica: For what?
Monica: Well no wait a minute thats not true! No, what did, that was really sweet. And it kinda works out for the best.
Cassie: Yeah! Thank you so much for letting me stay here.
Rachel: All right, fine! But I had too! I had to do it for my career!
Rachel: Oh, Ross, relax. It's probably like two dollars for the first contraction, and then fifty cents for each additional contraction.
[Scene: At a writer's desk. The writer is working on a script for Days of Our Lives.]
PHOEBE: Oh good, ok. Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my um, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun bye.
Chandler: You mean like for award shows?
Chandler: (looks him in the eye) I'm not breaking up with her! (they stare at each other for a while, then Joey blows in his face)
Rachel: Yeah, why is it so hard for you to believe?!
Ross: And on your anniversary, for shame!
Ross: And what(notices the stenographer is still typing)What are you typing that for? Did you hear what she said? We dont get the annulment. Dont type that! What?! Stop typing! (He goes over to where the stenographer is typing and in the process pushes Rachel out of his way.) Hey! Stop typing! (Hes still typing.) Stop typing! Stop typing!!
Cecilia: So, the essence of the character is rooted in her confidence. So, when Jessica enters a room for instance, she owns everything and every person in that room. (Joey is nodding.) You try.
Monica: Well, he did manage to keep his identity secret for a long time.
Joey: (entering) Hey! Uh, Monica? Chandler? Can I talk to you guys for a second?
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Cecilia: That is a tricky one. Well, Joey I really wanna thank you. Youve, well you made a very difficult time for me a little less painful.
Ross: Believe me, it seems like less because they hid it from us for so long.
(Joey leaves and Monica comes up for air.)
(Joey gives him a thumbs up and heads for the chicken.)
CHANDLER: Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love? What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.
Joey: Oh, Im sorry, Ross. Ill get it for you right now. And since I made you wait, Ill toss in a free muffin.
Chandler: Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss.
Joey: Oh yeah, yeah! He's done tons of commercials. I've seen him in like Sugar Smacks, Playstation, and that one for the phone company. In fact he was so good in that one, he actually convinced me to switch phone companies. Chandler was mad .
Phoebe: Well, I'm watching it for some friends who went out of town. Wait. (She bends down, picks up the dog, and waves with one of its paws) Hello, my name is Clunkers. May I please stay with you nice people?
Joey: Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason.
Chandler: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
Chandler: (angrily) Well next time ask! Or at least wait for me to ask! (He storms out.)
Phoebe: Good for you! And hey, I thought your paper on punctuated equilibrium in the Devonian era was top notch!
Chandler: Im gettin my chair back! (Heads for Joey and Rachels.)
Phoebe: I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
Chandler: No! No! I dont want him to know were yet! Im not sure Im ready for that. And besides hes not gonna be too happy to see me either.
Ross: No Rach! Come on! No-no! Yeah, Im sure we wont get arrested for this.
JOEY: What? You think I'm too dumb to understand that a husband needs to be with his wife?� Huh?� Do you think I'm like, "Duh."� (He strikes himself in the head with the bat.� He stands dazed for a moment.)
Chandler: Believe me, Ive been saying that for years. Oh my God!
Ross: Can you believe this? Were gonna be on the platform for the Millennium moment!
[Scene: Jen's apartment, Ross is picking her up for their date.]
Chandler: Yeah. Thanks for making me do this.
Ross: I mean youre not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
Chandler: For my last birthday you gave me a hug! (To Rachel) Okay, read the card! Read the card!
Chandler: (smiling) Hey, I hear what your saying, okay? And, thanks for the warning.
Ross: Not for the next few minutes.
Rachel: Hey! Those are all the things Im responsible for!
Monica: Joe... Emus are birds. You raise them for meat.
Phoebe: No, I like him a lot but I don't think I'm ready for this!
Monica: (looking at her hand) Yknow what shoes would look great with this ring? Diamond shoes! (Sees Chandler sitting on the bed.) Youre not getting dressed. (Chandler quietly folds over the comforter on the bed making a spot for her.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is standing in the kitchen ready to leave for the rehearsal dinner.]
Chandler: Mom. Thanks for wearing something. (They hug.) (Shes wearing a tight dress with a lot of cleavage showing.)
Rachel: Okay well Ross! Stop it please! Wait a minute! (Motions for him to follow her lead, but he angrily shakes his head no. So she pokes him.)
Rachel: Hi! I got you some coffee. To, uh (She looks for a place to set it on his messy desk and he clears a spot for her to set it down.) fair enough. So! Do you got anything for me?
Rachel: Well of course that is what Im here for!