words in movies
Phoebe: Thank you! (to Rachel) Oh, and I have something for you!
Chandler: Oh, then I'll tell you. My agency was bidding for a big account and they got it! It's my first national commercial!
Chandler: Oh... I don't know, I really don't think you're right for the part.
Chandler: First of all. Bravo. Uh, but I really don't think you're right for this. The part calls for a stuffy college professor.
Ross: Guess who's a finalist for a huge research grant! I'll give you a hint, he's looking right at you.
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Monica: Well, of course I do. What's not to like! I'll take her in a minute! But, you know, I think that you're giving up too easy, honey. I think that you need to fight for her!
Phoebe: Ok, I'll fight for her. Ok! Oh, wait, oh I just realized... if I do that, that means you don't get her.
Chandler: Joe, I told you, you're just not right for the part.
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Chandler: He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own!
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
[Scene: A restaurant. Ross and Charlie are waiting for her ex-boyfriend, Benjamin Hobart]
Charlie: Me too. (she and Benjamin are hugging for very long and Ross starts pretending to clear his throat, until they stop)
Benjamin: I'm sorry. I just haven't seen her for so long! All these feelings are rushing back! I'm starting to realize how much I missed her, and I'm gonna need you to break up with her.
Monica: You know, I would give her up, for you.
Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
Dr. Biely: Three for excavation and two for analysis.
Benjamin: No! I'm sorry, we were looking for "Baby It's You". Baby It's You.
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
Rachel: (surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
Benjamin: I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings for Charlie interfere with the interview process.
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Rachel: She climbs out of the frame, and then drags her half-a-body across the floor, just looking for legs to steal. (in a spooky, slow voice) And then with her one good hand, she slo-o-owly re-e-a-aches up and turns your doorknob.
(Joey leaves for his bedroom, and Rachel grins. She then takes Gladys and enters Monica's apartment.)
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)
Chandler: Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not.
Chandler: I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?
Ross: Yeah, I was going for the metaphor.
Ross: Just go for it Chandler.
Phoebe Sr: Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Yknow
Chandler: All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, okay?
Phoebe: Youre the cook! With out you its just me driving up to peoples houses with empty trays and asking for money!
Joey: Uhh, do you mind sitting there. Im-Im saving this for my friend Ross.
Chandler: If they cant find a home for her, they kill her! And Im not gonna let that happen to little Yasmine!
Joey: Okay. I will. Ohh! Check out what they got me to wear for the ceremony! (Runs to his apartment and returns wearing a rather silly hat.) Huh? I wear it like this when I marry you guys, and then this (He tilts it to the side of his head) is for party time.
Phoebe: Ooh, yknow what, I think its time for puppy to go out again. Come on, lets go to the balcony.
Ross: Okay, good-good for you.
Rachel: Honey, this really is an incredible thing to do for them, but there are things to think about.
Chandler: All right look, if youre not gonna stay for me, then at least stay for them! Okay, they have had a very difficult year! What with the robbery and all!
Phoebe Sr: Well, yeah! I mean yeah, but only for three days.
Ross: You have to tell her! You have to tell her! It's your moral obligation, as a friend, as a woman, I think it's a feminist issue! Guys? Guys? (waiting for guys to chime in)
Phoebe: Thats a good idea for a business!
Mrs. Bing: Car's waiting downstairs, I just wanted to drop off these copies of my book for your friends. Anything you want from Lisbon?
Monica: Oh, I was thinking about having people over for the game.
Rachel: Hi, Im Rachel Green. What can I do for you Joshua?
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
(Rachel laughs hysterically for no reason.)
Monica: No, wait, please dont go! Ive got porn for you too!
Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist.
Ross: (to Isabella) Hi! Hi, Im Ross, you dont know me, but Im a big, big fan of yours. I mean, Blue Velvet, woo-oo hoo! Um, I was wondering if I could um, maybe buy you a cup of coffee? (Gunther hands her change) Or maybe reimburse you for that one?
Monica: He used to lock himself in the basement for hours. No one was every allowed to hear, "The Sound."
Joey: (entering) Hey! I'm meeting Kathy in ten minutes! I've been looking all over for you!
Joey: Well, that's gonna be tough Mon. I mean it's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt.
Joshua: All right, thank you so much for all your help.
Phoebe: Ooh, I gotta go. I found a guy that who could fix up the van for catering.
Joey: Okay, for next time, what do you say?
Ross: Yeah. But, the good news is that Phoebe said that I could stay at her place for a while. So
Ross: Yeah, right! What was last time he met a submission deadline for an abstract (he and Charlie laugh, then Joey starts laughing too without any reason) Well, why are you laughing?
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)
Joshua: So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week?
Chandler: Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.
Joey: Yeah for like a half an hour one night! Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life! Youre so lucky! Look what I missed out on by not being there! Although you know what? It could never have worked like you guys did, cause you guys are perfect for each other. Yknow, we look at you and-and we see you together and it just it-it fits. Yknow? And you just know its gonna last forever.
Phoebe: Unless! She wants to spend the night holding my hair back for me.
Rachel: So? (She puts her hands in his, totally forgetting about the gloves, and hoping for something more intimate.)
[Cut to Joey and Rachels, Joey enters and heads for his bedroom. He pushes open the door to find the duck.]
Phoebe: For your information, this happens to be a pain like no man will ever experience.
Rachel: Oh, yknow, would you just for once, not remember every little thing!! (Storms out.)
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey is just arriving for his scene.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there except for Rachel and Ross, who both come storming in. Rachel is still going off about Rosss secret marriage.]
Mr. Waltham: For you and Emily, tonight, Die Fledermaus.
Phoebe: Remember, a virgin for me please.
Phoebe: Oh did youwhat did youdid you work for two days straight?
Monica: I think somebody needs another lap dance. (Motions for one.)
Rachel: See, I dont know, for me it would have to Chantal.
[Scene: Lara and Jenis Massage, Phoebe is interviewing for a job.]
Ross: Uh, what you said, about us being in a place where we could finally be happy for each other.
Rachel: No, happy for you! (Hits him harder.)
Rachel: Oh, no problem. Im so glad I could help. Happy for you. (She playfully punches him.)
Ross: Yeah, and-and thank you for Emily.
Ross: Happy for you. (He punches her back.)
[Scene: The museums worker cafeteria, Joey is eating lunch with the rest of the tour guides. Another tour guide tries to sit down in a seat Joey saved for Ross.]
Rachel: So I was with Joshua for an hour today, and he has not asked me out. Its just so frustrating!
The Salesman: For 50 bucks, you can get one book! What will it be? A? B? C?
Rachel: Well, heres another question for ya. Uhh, do you know what that silver knob on the toilet does?
(She motions for them to come closer, they lean in and she whispers what Rachel told her. The guys both lean back laughing.]
Rachel: Well, hon-ey. I'm just trying to look nice for your big night.
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
Ross: No, its really not that bad. I mean, I-I for one, feel perfectly safe.
Joey: (in obvious pain) Hey! So Estelle lined up a bunch of auditions for me tomorrow and Ill have my health insurance back in no time.
Joey: Thanks for telling me!
[Scene: A blackjack table, Joey is moving in to try and get his hand twin (who's dealing) to join him in his evil plot to rule the world! "Join me, and together we'll rule the universe as father and son!" (Sorry, I had a little Star Wars creep in thereOoh, I have a big spoiler for The Phantom Menace, Yoda lives at the end! Ha-ha, spoiled it! Now you don't have to see it!)]
Joey: You got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one. (Joey leaves, comes back in.) Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there?
(Ross walks over to the scrum, walks around a bit looking for a way to get into the scrum.)
Joey: Thanks man, but I think it makes a stronger statement if I ask for it myself, y'know.
Ross: No, God no! That is no place for a woman. Those guys will grab anything.
Joey: Thats right! I helped you guys out a lot in the start of your relationship. Huh? I helped you guys sneak around for like six months, and I looked like an idiot! And I was humiliated. And I only made 200 dollars!
PHOEBE: I, I don't know what to say. I mean, you know, you're married to someone for six years and you think you know him and then one day says, 'Oh, I'm not gay.'
(The ladder retracts, taking Joey up into the spaceship for his voyage to Blargon 7, and Kate waves good bye.)
Joshua: Yknow, they ruin it for everybody.
MNCA: What these? [holding up liquor bottles] Oh, these are, um, for.. cuts and scrapes.
Chandler: Okay. (She grabs a tin of freshly baked cookies) Oh yes. (He reaches for one.)
Rachel: Care for a cherry?
Chandler: Does for me.
Ross: Well, I'm gonna go get ready, (Gives Monica the fist thing.) for my date tonight, so ah, I'll just_ head.
STEPHANIE: Thank you. I'd like to start with a song that I wrote for the first man I ever loved. (singing) Zachary.
Phoebe: Joey, I cant believe you would do that for me.
Phoebe: Oh, wait, she's walking across the floor.. she's walking.. she's walking.. she's going for the pizza- (Yelling) Hey, that's not for you, bitch! (Phoebe covers her mouth with her hand walks away from the window.)
Joey: I want you to like her! But if that's too damned difficult for you, then the least you can do is pretend.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Chandler: Good morning everyone, it�s nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? (colleague raises hand) Yes, Ken is it?
Ross: All right, we have a tie. Luckily, I have prepared for such an event. (He opens up an envelope and holds up some note cards.) The Lightning Round!
Monica: Okay, forget the specials for a minute. Umm, all right heres the thing, for the last two weeks I have umm, (quietly) tried really hard to create a positive atmosphere
MIKE: So, except for the fermentation process, beer and ale are basically the same thing.� Fascinating isn't it.
Chandler: Do we pay for this?
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
Rachel: Oo, toes!! Well, for some people. (Chandler eyes her and her toes.)
Ross: So I'm a pimp huh? It's okay! Look, I know that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass, but you just have to talk to me. Tell me if something is bothering you. Okay? And for my part I will do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just (Does the 'quiet down' maneuver).
Monica: Phoebe, they didnt make you pay for those knives, did they?
Phoebe: No-no, I know that, but I just have to make enough money for the second part of my plan.
Monica: Yeah, you have to go fight for her!
Ross: Im gonna, Im gonna go to London and Im going to fight for her.
Chandler: So, Ross and I are going to Disneyland and we stop at this restaurant for tacos. And when I say restaurant, I mean a guy, a hibachi, and the trunk of his car. So Ross has about 10 tacos. And anyway, were on Space Mountain and Ross starts to feel a little iffy.
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. Well maybe its just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I dont know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
Joanna: Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you cant stay my assistant forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons.
Phoebe: And! And, theyre gonna have a baby! (The gang is shocked.) And! And, they want me to grow it for them in my uterus. (The gang is stunned into silence.)
Doug: So thanks for the warm welcome. Its good to have you guys on my team, and I come to play. I hope you do too. Now, lets go out there and get em! Huh? And remember, there is no I in team.
Phoebe: I know! I know, and Ive only been playing for like an hour!