words in movies
Phoebe: Thank you! (to Rachel) Oh, and I have something for you!
Chandler: Oh, then I'll tell you. My agency was bidding for a big account and they got it! It's my first national commercial!
Chandler: Oh... I don't know, I really don't think you're right for the part.
Chandler: First of all. Bravo. Uh, but I really don't think you're right for this. The part calls for a stuffy college professor.
Ross: Guess who's a finalist for a huge research grant! I'll give you a hint, he's looking right at you.
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Monica: Well, of course I do. What's not to like! I'll take her in a minute! But, you know, I think that you're giving up too easy, honey. I think that you need to fight for her!
Phoebe: Ok, I'll fight for her. Ok! Oh, wait, oh I just realized... if I do that, that means you don't get her.
Chandler: Joe, I told you, you're just not right for the part.
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Chandler: He's not right for the part. So if I suggest him, my bosses are gonna think I'm an idiot! And that's something they should learn on their own!
Chandler: That's good! I liked it, they didn't. (he sees Joey out of the window hitting on a girl) Joey, for God's sake, go to work! (Joey runs away).
[Scene: A restaurant. Ross and Charlie are waiting for her ex-boyfriend, Benjamin Hobart]
Charlie: Me too. (she and Benjamin are hugging for very long and Ross starts pretending to clear his throat, until they stop)
Benjamin: I'm sorry. I just haven't seen her for so long! All these feelings are rushing back! I'm starting to realize how much I missed her, and I'm gonna need you to break up with her.
Monica: You know, I would give her up, for you.
Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
Dr. Biely: Three for excavation and two for analysis.
Benjamin: No! I'm sorry, we were looking for "Baby It's You". Baby It's You.
Joey: (comes out holding the tape) Here's how I know you didn't watch the tape, ok? (puts it into the vcr) If you had seen what was on this tape, believe me, you would have some comments. Alright, now remember, I got paid a lot of money for this and it only aired in Japan. (presses play and he appears on the TV screen and a TV commercial begins)
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
Rachel: (surprised by how ugly it is) Wow! (sarcastic) Oh, she's so nice and big! Oh, Monica, where are you going to display Gladys oh so proudly? (looks around for a spot)
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
Benjamin: I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings for Charlie interfere with the interview process.
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Rachel: She climbs out of the frame, and then drags her half-a-body across the floor, just looking for legs to steal. (in a spooky, slow voice) And then with her one good hand, she slo-o-owly re-e-a-aches up and turns your doorknob.
(Joey leaves for his bedroom, and Rachel grins. She then takes Gladys and enters Monica's apartment.)
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)
Chandler: Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not.
Chandler: I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?
(Gary reaches up to grab that little light that cops have for unmarked cop cars.)
Chandler: Okay, you ready for the last picture?
Tag: Im ready for more.
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
[Scene: Dr. Burke's office. Monica is there for her eye appointment.]
Chandler: I dont think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. (He blows on his hand) Draw!! (He quickly pulls the lever to raise the foot rest, like a gunfighter in a Western.)
Rachel: No, I will. Im just not up for it tonight.
Joey: I do Rach. I do, and I so happy for you. (They hug.)
Rachel: No! Joey, oh youre so sweet. Youre so-so sweet, honey. But Im not, Im not looking for a husband.
Phoebe: Yeah, but theres a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. Thats four years. Chandlers not gonna wait that long. Hes gonna find somebody else, yknow? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.)
Phoebe: Oh she was looking for you.
[That's all folks, no teaser; just the big cliffhanger for season 6. Yes, there will be a season 6, and it'll start again in September. Have a good summer everyone!]
[Scene: Carol and Susans, Carol is setting a romantic dinner for Susan as there is a knock on the door.]
Lauren: Ive been waiting up all night for ya. Where have you been? (Joey doesnt answer) Where have you been? Vic?!
[Scene: Elevator at the Ralph Lauren offices, Kims waiting for it. The door opens and Rachel is inside.]
Dennis Phillips: Oh my God, that was for my benefit?
(Both Rachel and Ross stare at her for a moment.)
Gunther: That guy (points) has been waiting for his coffee for ten minutes! Hes complained about you three times! (He hands the coffee cup to Joey, assuming that Joey will deliver it and walks away.)
MICH: No, no, I am, but only because for the last hour and a half I've been playing the movie Diner in my head.
Monica: We didnt get anything for anyone.
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Joey: Whoa, for like months?
Ross: Please, help me! I have a date tonight. It has to go well okayIm scared for my health!
Kristen: I studied for a year in Barcelona. (Ross is stunned and worried.)
Monica: Okay, I umm, I ran into Richard yesterday and he asked me if I wanted to go for a bite and I did. The only reason I didn't tell you is because I knew you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil our anniversary.
Phoebe: Yeah. Except for, y'know when youre on a date and youre getting along really great but the guys translator keeps getting in the way.
Ross: I dont want people to see it for your sake.
Ross: (on tape) Yeah. (Pause) Anyway umm, it probably worked out for the best.
Tim: Actually shes my-my boss. Sous is French for under.
Monica: All right, all right! Lets just cut to the chase, okay? (To Phoebe) Youre single. (To Tim) Youre single. (To Phoebe) He gets off work at eleven. (To Tim) Shell be waiting for your call. (To Phoebe) Ill give him your number if I can get one calamari and one Caesar salad!! (Everyone in the kitchen stops.) I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar.
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Monica: Okay well then, Ill fire him today and you go out with him for another week.
Rachel: Yeah. Why? Is that weird for you?
Chandler: Then you're gonna have to watch it for me.
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas and the strip before we arrive at 4 Queens bar, where Chandler and Monica are sitting at a table waiting for the show to start.
Joey: And just wait for Rachel to come back from her date?
Chandler: Just for a few seconds, so I can know what it is... Please?
[Scene: Outside Chandlers Office, Chandler is just about to go into his office when Bob calls for him from behind.]
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is waiting for Tim who enters.]
Tim: Oh its great! Its great! Thank you so much for introducing us!
Phoebe: Im sorry, Im justIm Im just not ready for a relationship right now.
Phoebe: Oh thats good, the chemistry thing for us too.
Ross: Sure! Uh, let me get it for ya.
Phoebe: Huh. Okay. Well, Im really happy for you. (Starts to walk away.)
Ursula: Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is getting ready for her date and Joey is reading a magazine.]
Phoebe: And then for forgetting to invite you to it.
Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not 'reaching for her heaving beasts'.
Ross: Your joke? Well, I think the Hef would disagree, which is why he sent me a check for one hundred ah-dollars.
Joey: Yeah, see... you were all worried for nothing.
Ross: It came in the mail today, it's uh, 72 long-stemmed red roses, one for each day that I've known and loved Emily, cut up into mulch!
Joey: What?! All rightHey! Dont look at me! Youre the one who wanted to come up and look for some stupid Burger King comet!
Phoebe: No Im having fun. Im reallyAnd Im really-really excited for you and Ursula.
Joey: Will you relax?! What are you taking this so seriously for? It doesnt matter.
Phoebe: Huh? (Ursula motions for Phoebe to keep quiet.)
Rachel: Oh Gunther! You brought candy! Thank you so much for picking this up! You are so sweet.
Monica: Come on, okay, come on this is for all womankind. Lets kill um!
Ross: Look this is starting to look really bad for me. Okay? Mona, Monas standing right over there. (Looks behind him.) Oh God, shes talking to Joey! You gotta let me win!
Phoebe: Okay Ive got one for you, if you had too which one would you rather eat, a seeing eye dog or a talking gorilla?
Eric: I think well be okay. Besides its so perfect and (whispering) shes been saving herself for me.
Man: Well I actually, I-I really, I haven't seen her for years. But umm, well I-I was pretty tight with-with her and her daughter.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, after the party. Everyone has left, except for the gang.]
Chandler: Listen, Ive got a secret for ya. I let him win.
Monica: Oh, relinquish is just a fancy word for lose!
Eric: Oh, I have a friend whos a cop and he got it for me.
Phoebe: No! Wait! I was just saying that so youd think I was a good person. Fight for me.
Eric: Uhh, I wont take no for an answer.
Ross: So apparently Im available for lunch.
Ross: Hey, yknow what and if youre looking for a place? I just heard in the elevator this morning that a woman in my building died.
[Scene: Grammercy Bistero, Ross and Kristen are waiting for their table to be ready. Ross is returning from talking to the matired.]
Chandler: She mustve been planning this for years!
Monica: I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them!
Phoebe: Ugh, its so exhausting waiting for death. Ohh, by the way, do you think you could(Groans, hacks, and then freezes with her eyes open and her tongue hanging out.)
Phoebe: No, no, no, I know, I know, ooh. (on the phone in a different voice) 'Hi, this is Katelynn, from Phoebe Buffay's office. Um, is um, Ann there for Phoebe, she'll know what it's about.'
JOEY: Well, I get the medical award for separating the siamese twins. Then Amber and I go to Venezuela to meet our other half-brother, Ramone. And that's where I find the world's biggest emerald. It's really big but it's cursed.
Joey: (laughs) No. But I got Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler.
Ross: Its not for me, its for Rachel.
JOEY: No no, uh, don't thank me for comin' in. Uh, at least let me finish. Uh, we could take the expressway but uh, this time of day you're better off taking the budge. You were goin' for the word bridge there weren't ya. I'll have a good day. [gets up and leaves]
(Brenda bends down to use the dustpan and Monica leans over to look for the stain, but leans so far over she falls out of the chair.)
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Karin: Actually, Im dating at all anymore. See, I figured out that I was only dating guys that were like yknow bad for me, so until I work that out
Joey: Yknow I blame Ross for this.
Phoebe: No, I got in trouble for that before. Ill see you later.
Eric: Yeah. (They hug.) Maybe its for the best. You smell just like her.
(Rachel waves her hands in disgust and starts to head for her room.)
Rachel: No Phoebe! I just need you there for support. I havent told him Im pregnant yet.
Ross: Wait a minute, you guys. Oh, I wanna ask you something. I-I I may get to speak at this paleontology convention and if I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me.
Rachel: Oh its umm, its tofu cake. Do you want some? (He makes a disgusted noise and heads for his room, Chandler follows him in.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cleaning the apartment for Monica and is frustrated with things not lining up.]
Monica: (on phone, faking she's sick) I-I'm not gonna be able to make it into work today, I don't feel very good. (Joey makes a high throw and Monica has to catch it way over her head.) (Not sounding sick) Yes!! (Realizes what she just did.) (Sounding sick again) Wow! Uh, for a second there I thought I was really better, but I'm not. (Hangs up and keeps throwing the ball.)
Chandler: All right fine! But Im only doing this for you!
RACHEL: [on phone] Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. And, you know, ya see there I'm thinking of names so obviously, I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. [hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket]
Ross: Yknow this is actually not a great time for me.
Monica: Yeah! Hey! Thanks for getting me that girls number.
JOEY: Great, well, I'm happy for ya. [picks up the orange juice carton and it's empty] Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice.
Stu: No problem. So whos the party for?
PHOEBE: C'mon you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, ya know, holding claws like. . .
Rachel: Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guys phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) Its for me!
Estelle: (on the other end) Joe! Im glad I found ya, I got an audition for ya!
Joey: Oh, did I not mention? Carl is a guy I hired to be my identical twin for a medical research project.