words in movies
Monica: Well umm, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade of being maid of honor for each other. Like hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine
Chandler: (pause) No, were still together. Yeah we went out for two summers, and then I broke up with her.
Joey: Hey! Well I hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs, remember? (Phoebe glares at him.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are laying out the ground rules for the maid of honor auditions to Rachel and Phoebe.]
Joey: No, one man for the rest of my life? I dont know if I can do it! This means Ill never get to sleep with Joey!
Ross: It is time for you to give your maid of honor speech.
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Joey: All right, well first of all I would like to say that you both performed very well. Okay? You should be proud of yourselves. And-and I would also like to say that in this competition there are no losers. Well, except for RachelDamnit!
(Joey gets up and heads for the door. After a pause Ross decides to join him.)
Chandler: As bad as that went I actually enjoyed myself. I think that Im going to apologize for all of the stupid things I do.
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Rachel: Oh, I forgot this was in here. Umm, this was the uh garter that I was saving for my wedding and I wanted it to be Monicas something borrowed and its blue. (Starts to cry again.) Yeah
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Karin: Actually, Im dating at all anymore. See, I figured out that I was only dating guys that were like yknow bad for me, so until I work that out
Joey: Yknow I blame Ross for this.
Phoebe: No, I got in trouble for that before. Ill see you later.
Eric: Yeah. (They hug.) Maybe its for the best. You smell just like her.
(Rachel waves her hands in disgust and starts to head for her room.)
Rachel: No Phoebe! I just need you there for support. I havent told him Im pregnant yet.
Ross: Wait a minute, you guys. Oh, I wanna ask you something. I-I I may get to speak at this paleontology convention and if I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me.
Rachel: Oh its umm, its tofu cake. Do you want some? (He makes a disgusted noise and heads for his room, Chandler follows him in.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cleaning the apartment for Monica and is frustrated with things not lining up.]
Monica: (on phone, faking she's sick) I-I'm not gonna be able to make it into work today, I don't feel very good. (Joey makes a high throw and Monica has to catch it way over her head.) (Not sounding sick) Yes!! (Realizes what she just did.) (Sounding sick again) Wow! Uh, for a second there I thought I was really better, but I'm not. (Hangs up and keeps throwing the ball.)
Chandler: All right fine! But Im only doing this for you!
RACHEL: [on phone] Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat who, by the way, I think you should name Michael. And, you know, ya see there I'm thinking of names so obviously, I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. [hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket]
Ross: Yknow this is actually not a great time for me.
Monica: Yeah! Hey! Thanks for getting me that girls number.
JOEY: Great, well, I'm happy for ya. [picks up the orange juice carton and it's empty] Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice.
Stu: No problem. So whos the party for?
PHOEBE: C'mon you guys. It's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, ya know, holding claws like. . .
Rachel: Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guys phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) Its for me!
Estelle: (on the other end) Joe! Im glad I found ya, I got an audition for ya!
Joey: Oh, did I not mention? Carl is a guy I hired to be my identical twin for a medical research project.
Ross: Thank you so much for coming back over.
Ross: Should I leave this open for you too?
Phoebe: Its slang for pregnant.
Melissa: You have been M.I.A for the past seven sorority newsletters, whats up with you?!
Joey: (laughing) You fall for it every time!
Monica: Isn't that sad? I mean, can you see how pathetic that is? You shouldn't be jealous. You should feel bad for him.
Monica: Anyway, it just doesnt seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay? Its a lot of work.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)
Chandler: That is funny, maybe for my birthday shell murder someone.
Ross: Wow, I havent seen her for like forever. I wonder if she still carries that Barbie everywhere she goes.
Rachel: Uh Will umm, I just want to say that Im real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school
Will: Yes he was. (Holds up his hand for a high-five.)
Rachel: So Ross, we went out for two years, and you never told me you were in an I Hate Rachel club.
(Ross is at a loss for words.)
Monica: I-It's just so insulting! Big spring for a new blank tape, Doctor!
Monica: And Ross, if it werent for Rachels rumor I mean no one in high school would even know who you were. She put you on the map!
Phoebe: Is there anything we can do for you?
Phoebe: How are you? (The woman nods) Good. (She goes over to another couple of women.) Hi, thanks for coming.
Monica: Oh, my mom called, theyre gonna run our engagement announcement in the local paper, so were looking for a good picture of us.
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
Joey: (pause) Because Vincent, we were lovers. (Pause) For two years!
Mrs. Bing: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book.
Phoebe: Yes! Yes you can, Im looking for Jacks parents.
Ben: I have to go. My friend Doug is waiting for me over there. (Goes over to Doug.)
Chandler: Well, she probably wasnt familiar with the process having spent most of her life sitting for oil paintings!
Monica: Im sorry, they just, they just look so good! And the saleswoman was looking at me like, "Oh, these are way too expensive for you."
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Joey: Oh? Oh! Okay! Okay! Lets hear their plan! Now, whats the future look like for Dina and Bobby?
Bobby: Well I really have high hopes for my band.
Joey: No! No! No! Its different for you. Youre so strong and together. Youre not some dumb kid who doesnt know what shes doing.
Dina: Look, Rachels told me how much easier youve made all this on her. Why cant you do that for me?
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]
Ross: No, youve heard my practice. Okay? Just-just give me a chance to perform for you and then decide whatever you want. And Im not going to tell you what song Im gonna play either. But uh, lets just say when its over Ill bet there will be a we bit o celebration.
Joey: All right! There is something. I kinda had a dream, (pause) but I don't want to talk about it. (Starts for his room.)
Phoebe: Yeah, you've... you know, sort of been like a dad to me. I mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom...
Chandler: Oh uh well tomorrows no good for her either.
Joey: Oh sureAnd hey, dont get me wrong, I am so happy for you guys. I just I miss hanging out just-just us, yknow?
Chandler: Well thats good. Because you didnt! And Im incredibly happy for ya!!
Joey: Is that college talk for horny?
Phoebe: I got it for your wedding and I ordered it weeks ago, and it finally got here!
Phoebe: I didnt know where to put it so I just left it here for now.
Monica: Dont feel bad for me! I won like every time!
Chandler: You can wear them with shorts on a street corner and earn the money to pay for them. (Goes and gets some coffee at the counter.)
Joey's Co-Star: Drake, Ive discovered the reason for all your headaches and memory loss.
Joey: No, Im picking you up for our date. These are for you. (Hands her some flowers.)
Joey: No! No. Umm, just myself and if they dont like me for(Laughs.) Im sorry I couldnt even get through that.
(Rachel gets up and heads for the rest room.)
Joey: (stunned and turned on) Yeah. WhyYeah, that would work for ya
Ross: (patting his clothes like he is looking for his wallet) No, no hes not.
Rachel: Okay. All right Dina, well lets talk about the different areas of fashion that you could get involved in. Lets see, theres design, but you may need a whole other degree for that. Uh, theres-theres sales, which is great because you get to travel
Joey: No-no! Im fine. Its just Hey, can I ask you something? Have you ever looked at someone that youve known for a while and then suddenly suddenly see them a different way?
Joey's Date: Totally! Wow! (Pause) Would you excuse me for a sec?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Emma is in her bed and Ross and Rachel are rapping and dancing for her.]
Joey: It was different for you guys! I mean, I mean, you were both in the same place, right?
Phoebe: For God sakes, its Rachel!
Phoebe: Yes, and Im sorry. I-I know things worked out for Chandler and Monica, but thats very rare.
Phoebe: Ohh, Im getting too pregnant for this, lugging around a stupid massage table. Yknow, I have to find a job where I carrying a smaller table. (She goes over and stands in front of the TV.)
Rachel: No, I was waiting for you!
Chandler: (sarcastically) Yes were all in here and we would love for you to join us!
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Ross and I were looking for you! What are we all doing in here? (Looks at Chandler) Oh, my! (Covers the spot where Joey wants bubbles to be replaced.)
Ross: (stutters looking for words) Ezels!!
Phoebe: Okay. Do you guys want me to play for you?
Joey: Terrified. (But for a totally different reason.)
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im so happy things worked out for us that were having this baby together. I love you so much.
Rachel: Joey! The baby is kicking for the first time! Will you please come feel this?!
Chandler: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called "Invisible things for Kathy." (Motions to an imaginary pile of presents next to him.) Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?
Joey: (screaming) Why God?!! Why?!! We had a deal!! Let the others grow old! Not me!! (He buries his head in Phoebes lap for comfort.)
Chandler: Who says you cant get a nice punch bowl for under six bucks? Maybe we can take it back?
Monica: Why dont we just find a place for it?
Phoebe: Monica! We lived together for years! Ive seen you naked!
Ticket Agent: (On the P.A.) This is the boarding call for Flight 009.
Monica: Hey, come on Phoebe, you can understand why this would be weird for me.
Rachel: You're right! I mean you're right! It wasn't just the Weebles, but it was the Weeble Play Palace, and and the Weebles' Cruise Ship. Oh, which had this little lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in.
[Scene: Phoebe's Apartment, Monica is lying on the massage table waiting for Phoebe.]
Ross: A lot of people are thankful for those. < knock on door>
Ross: (To Joey) So, thanks so much for bringing her to the hospital.
EDDIE: Ohhhh. Relax, take it easy buddy. Tell me twice, you want me to go? Alright, alright, guess I'll be back for my stuff. [walks out the door and after a pause comes back in] But if you think for one second I'm leaving you alone with my fish, you're insane Jack!
(Chandler gets up and runs out, but as soon as the door closes behind him he opens it, runs back in, picks up his ring Richard is holding up for him, and runs back out.)
Chandler: I know, me too. Hey! Y'know what if we went away for a whole weekend? Y'know we'd have no interruptions and we could be naked the entire time.