words in movies
Monica: Joe... Emus are birds. You raise them for meat.
Rachel: Uh, he took the SAT's for me.
[Scene: Richard's apartment. There's a knock on the door.The listing agent opens the door for Chandler and Joey.]
Joey: Well, you seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you?
Phoebe: (no accent) Uhm... Okay, well, allright, uhm... Originally I'm from upstate, but uhm... then my mom killed herself and my stepdad went to prison, so... I just moved to the city where uhm... I actually lived in a burned out Buick LeSabre for a while... (frowns are received) which was okay, that was okay, until uhm... I got hepatitis, you know, 'cause this pimp spit in my mouth and... but I... I got over it and uhm... anyway, now I'm uhm... a freelance massage therapist, uhm... which, you know, isn't always steady money but at least I don't pay taxes, huh... (everyone in the room finds it a bit surreal, which Phoebe realises and starts to talk in the accent again) So... where does everyone summer?
Mike: Yeah, you do that, and I go check my dad for signs of internal bleeding. (Mike walks away and Bitsy walks in the same direction.)
Phoebe: Yeah... Oh Bitsy, hi. Uhm... listen I just wanted to thank you again for having me here tonight.
Chandler: Then you're gonna have to watch it for me.
Chandler: Just for a few seconds, so I can know what it is... Please?
Joey: Yeah, see... you were all worried for nothing.
Chandler: It's football... It's just football... This is great! This is the first time I've ever enjoyed football... It may be customary to get a beer... (Chandler walks to the fridge, his back turned to the TV and a moaning sound replaces the cheering of the crowd... Joey's eyes double in size...) What the... (Chandler turns around, but Joey already took a sprint for Chandler, jumps, and floors Chandler in the open space in front of the apartment door...) What are you doing?
Monica: What are you guys doing? (Monica hears the moaning coming from the TV and looks at it) Oh my God, is that Richard? (It only takes a split second for Joey to realise, he pulls Monica down by her jacket, and she falls, face down next to Chandler. Chandler gets up a bit, and Joey quickly covers Chandler's eyes with his hand.)
Rachel: Okay... aahhh... Please laugh for mommy... Please? Please laugh for mommy... (Rachel makes a funny face, sticking her tongue out, making a farting noise and using her hands as antlers, wiggling her fingers... No response from Emma...) Not funny huh? Oh so, is it... only offensive novelty rap? Or maybe just, you know, rap in general? 'Cause mommy can rap... (Rachel tries to rap and makes weird movements with her arms in the process.) My name is mommy and I'm here to say / that all the babies are... Oh, I can't rap... Allright sweetheart... This is only because I love you so much, and I know that you're not gonna tell anybody... (Rachel's face is telling "Oh what am I doing? The things I have to go through... and she starts to rap) I like... big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... / when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face... (Emma starts to laugh) Yes! Yes! Yes! YES! Oohhhhh! Oh! (Rachel now really gets into it, and her insecure movements start getting better) I like big butts and I cannot lie... / You other brothers can't deny... Oh Emma you're laughing! Oh you are, you really do like big butts, don't you. Oh you beautiful little weirdo... (Rachel picks up Emma and Ross now enters)
Phoebe: Oh no, no, no, no... That's okay, that's okay... I mean, I'm... I am a vegetarian... except for veal... Yeah no, veal I love...
Chandler: Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches.
Monica: Isn't that sad? I mean, can you see how pathetic that is? You shouldn't be jealous. You should feel bad for him.
Monica: I-It's just so insulting! Big spring for a new blank tape, Doctor!
Mike: The woman I love... (he walks to Phoebe) I love you... Which is probably something I shouldn't say for the first time in front of my parents... and Tom and Sue...Who are by the way the most sinfully boring I've ever met in my life...
Mike: Mom, dad, thanks for dinner.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's. Emma is in her bed and Ross and Rachel are rapping and dancing for her.]
Rachel: Hi! So Im out having lunch at Monicas and this guy starts talking to me, and it turns out he works for a buyer at Bloomingdales and there happens to be an opening in his department. So I gave him my phone number and hes gonna call me this weekend to see if he can get me an interview!
Steve: Well then you can't have any. (she grabs for the package, and it breaks open. Gummi-bears fly everywhere, some into the punch bowl on the table.) Bear overboard! I think he's drowning. (he throws some Sugar-O's into the punch bowl) Hey fellows! Grab on a Sugar-O... save yourself! (Mimicking the bears) "Help! I'm drowning! Help!"
Joey: Mmmm hmm! For your boob job!
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Monica is getting Chandler ready for his half of the plan.]
Rachel: Since when do take naps in that position. Oh God Monica, tell me you were waiting for a guy! Please tell me you were waiting for a guy!
Monica: Im Catwoman, who wants to borrow the dress when youre too big for it.
Monica: Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Chandler: So, ah... Any plans for the summer?
Phoebe: Oh my god, Rachel asked me if I knew anyone for her too.
Chandler: No, no, no-no-no. I smoked for years, then I quit. Right now, I can�t remember why. (to everyone:) You�re not allowed to smoke in this office. Not right?
(They run for Phoebe's purse, Phoebe gets there first and takes the cell. Monica tries to take it away from her)
Monica: Oh wow wow wow!! Make room for your friend! (sits herself down between them)
Ross: No! That would be stupid! You're having it for me!
Rachel: I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap, have you seen Hugsy?
Monica: Hi, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe!
Kori: Hi. I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial service.
(someone knocks on the door) Oh, great. More party boys for Chandler!
Chandler: I'm sure it's somebody for you. Now, go hide. (Ross hides in the bedroom again)
Chandler: Well, come on, Ive been saving this money for six years and I kinda had some of it earmarked for the future, not just for a party.
Monica: Well, it doesn't really matter ... you're both wishing for the same thing, right?
Ross: Yeah, I uh, totally forgot about that. You mind if I take a rain check? I'm waiting for a call from Emily.
Joey: I can't tell you what I'm wishing for! Else...you know...won't come true!
Monica: I understand, but you're wishing for what we think you're wishing for, aren't you?
Monica: Right! .. but we "know" what you're wishing for!
Monica: You know what, Ross? I'm gonna throw in 50 bucks for you.
Joey: Ohh, well, thats ok then. But, okay my towels for instance. I come in to the bathroom here and my towel is not on the floor where keep it. Its up here on some hook..and smells different.
Chandler: You're right, it has been you dream for over 15 seconds.
Monica: Ok, fine!! I bought 20 extra tickets for me and Chandler.
Chandler: (to Mon) She's right, you shouldn't have bought tickets just for us ...
Phoebe: Well, I bet that was very hard for him to do.
Phoebe: It's ok. I thought of the perfect lie for you. It's easy to remember and doesn't invite a lot of questions. You weren't at the parade because you had a family emergency.
Chandler: She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!
Monica: Well you can't! We're booked solid for the next month!
Phoebe: Oh no!You guys aren't supposed to get divorced for 7 years!
Rachel: Y'know what else is really great about him, oh, what is the word for the adult that doesn't have dinosaur toys in their bedroom?
Chandler: (To Monica) Have I got a surprise for you? Pack your bags!
Chandler: (on the phone) "Look, this is ridiculous! I'm not paying for that room! Ok?" (pause) "Oh, thank you very much!" (hangs up) Yeah, I'm going to Vermont...
Director: Joey, Joey! We're ready for you!
Ross: Yeah, I ate all my gifts for everybody.
Joey/Drake: So what about us? Everything we feel for each other.
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Monica: I don't know. I mean, you saw him do a love scene, so maybe you don't have a thing for Joey, maybe you have a thing for Drake.
Phoebe: My songs aren't good enough for your restaurant?
Chandler: Wow, you'd think we should get that over 20 years or go for the big payout.
Mike: Yes. Yeah and thanks for all the wedding night advice. (walks away) That didn't make me uncomfortable at all! Alright, so I'll see everybody tonight?
Joey: (looks at her for a moment) What the hell are you talking about??
(Joey and Rachel continue to look at each other in silence for a while)
Ross: Dad dad, please! As I was saying umm, Im Dr. Ross Geller. Uhh, and Im the best man. And uh, this marriage is doubly special for me umm, because not only is the groom my best friend but uh, the bride is my little sister. And, shes the greatest sister a guy could ask for. So if youd all please join me in raising a glass to the, the couple were here to celebrate. (Everyone does so.) To the Bings.
Ross: Hey, you guys won't believe what I have to do for work today.
Charlie: It's a... It's good to meet you! Thank you so much for taking the time out to show me around.
Charlie: You don't think we should wait for him?
Message: "Hi Joey, it's Jane Rogers can't wait for your party tonight" (Joey's upset and stops it)
Joey: Kinda have a... a thing for the Days Of Our Life's people.
Joey: (Smiling) I can't believe you guys went for that one!
Ross: Have you seen this? It's a new alumni website for college! It's cool! You can post messages for people, let everyone know what you're up to.
Phoebe: (singing) ...fuchsia and mauvvve. Those are the 66 colours of my bedroommmm. (applause) Thank you, thank you. Ohh, and I invite you to count the colours in your bedroom. (Sees that Phoebe Sr. has entered, and to her) Except for you. You go away.
Charlie: (her mobile phone rings) Oh, I'm sorry. I'll take this. Excuse me. (she cuts herself off for a moment)
Monica: Very good! (Gives him the keys) What do you need it for anyway?
Joey: (To some people) Hey! Hey alright! Hey, glad you could make it (Shakes a man's hand) Thanks for coming.
(She heads for the kitchen and Chandler watches her leave and admires the view.)
Ross: (to Charlie) So, eh... it's probably gonna be hard for you to leave Boston, huh?
Charlie: Yeah... for three years.
Charlie: Yes! And while that is everything one looks for in a boyfriend, he had a lot of issues...
Ross: Oh yeah? no, no Nobel Prizes for him?
Rachel: (she enters wearing a bath-robe) Hey... Hi you guys! Listen, you know what? I'm not feeling really well. I think I can't get out for the play.
(Joey motions for Rachel to lean in. She does so.)
Phoebe: Hey, thank you so much for these tickets, Chandler.
(Rachel goes look for Joey. She sees him and Charlie kissing passionately.)
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
Ross: Unagi is a state of total awareness. Okay? Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you!
Chandler: Deposit my specimen? You know, usually I have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk. Thanks, got it.
Phoebe: (In a strange heavy accent) Hello "ja", it's time for your massage, ja! Put your face in the hole.
Phoebe: (Thinks for a few moments) Uhm... Stockholm.
Phoebe: (pushes her head back down) Time for your scalp massage!
Ross: Yeah, yeah that means... you know? We just... we don't have time for this.
Rachel: So, Im in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle, and guess who the clue is for three down. (She hands the magazine to Joey.)
Phoebe: Well, you promised me a fun road trip! Weve been on the road six hours and youve been asleep for five and a half! We are switching at the next rest stop and you are going to drive all the way back! That will be your punishment, you greedy sleeper!
Rachel: Yes you do, if you're going to make me feel guilty for getting a free massage!
Rachel: Good for you Pheebs!
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Ross: (perplexed for a moment) Wait a minute... when you guys walked into the Met, did you go to the right?
Charlie: Well, for one, he was talking about paintings that were nowhere around.
Chandler: (seriously) It means that we can keep trying, but there's a good chance this may never happen for us.
Receptionist: Here's your schedule for the day. Your first client is in room No. 1.
Rachel: Chandler, aren't you worried about what to get Monica for Christmas?
(Joey stares around dumbly looking for the "talking pigeon")
Charlie: So you're up for keynote speaker! Who's making the decisions?
Joey: Enough said, I'm there for you man. Where is she, upstairs?
Rachel: Pheebs, that's for men!
Ross: Come on sweetie! Youve had to work late every night for the past two weeks, what is it this time?
Chandler: Hey! Look I brought a friend for dinner, this is Zack, from work!
Joey: Too long! Oh my God, Rach, I've been dying to talk to someone about this for so long! Listen, listen, we can't say anything about this to anybody, they're so weird about that! Listen (Phoebe returns and interrupts them.)
Ross: Guess who's up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference?
Chandler: (very seriously) That's really not the kind of thing we are looking for Zack.
Zack: You guys don't have people for dinner a lot, huh?
Richard: Its so great seeing you guys again. Id like to make a toast. (Everyone raises their glasses) Uh, as a poet once said, "In the sweetness of friendship, let there be laughter and sharing of pleasures for in the due of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed."
Phoebe: (disappointed) Oh, good for you.
Chandler: Look, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I got the feeling we made you a little uncomfortable.
Phoebe: No, no, because, you know, he's been in Minsk for 8 years and if he gets too much direct sunlight, he'll die.
The Director: Hey Joey, were ready for ya! (Joey stumbles over) Joey, this is Alex hes going to be playing your son.