words in movies
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
Phoebe: Yeah, its for our catering business!
Monica: Well, Im gonna fill in for him as food critic for the Chelsea Reporter.
Monica: Oh no-no-no, its only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners.
Chandler: (entering) Hey, you guys! Hey, Ross, quick question for ya. Are you ready to party?
Ross: I dont know, I could maybe go out for a couple of beers, but theres this thing about bumblebees on The Discovery Channel that I was planning to watch.
Rachel: Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something. Theres an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss
Joanna: (interrupting) Okay, but that would actually be a big step down for me.
Rachel: Well, actually, I meant for me. The hiring committee is meeting people all day and
Joanna: Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you cant stay my assistant forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons.
Chandler: Look you dont understand, Gandolf is amazing. Yknow youre never know whats gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia!
Joanna: Oh. And Rachel has been really incredible in getting my morning bagel for me. Its amazing how she gets it right almost every time!
Phoebe: Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandros? Sure, but Id have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place.
Phoebe: Ooh, I gotta go. I found a guy that who could fix up the van for catering.
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
Rachel: Hey Mon, little question for ya! How do you think this suit will look on an assistant buyer?
Rachel: Hey, Pheebs, quick question for ya.
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
Monica: Its okay, cause y'know what? You dont really need me for the business.
Phoebe: Youre the cook! With out you its just me driving up to peoples houses with empty trays and asking for money!
Phoebe: For what? I cant believe this! I gotta get out of here. (leaves)
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Allesandro: Im so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, its like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much were gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef.
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
Joey: Hey, listen, I gotta tell ya, I feel kinda bad taking credit for this, because man, am I gonna get a lot of credit for this!
CHANDLER: You'll see, you guys are all gonna go off and get married, and I'm gonna end up alone. Will you promise me something? When you're married, will you invite me over for holidays?
Monica: Look at us all dressed up for the big office party! By the way, what are we celebrating?
Jason: Y'know Phoebe, Im gonna make this real easy for you. (walks out)
Ross: (on phone) Thats right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder for six. (listens) Thank you. (hangs up) (to the gang) Yeah, we have the reservations.
Issac: Yo, Chloe, do you have a quarter for the condom machine?
Phoebe: Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt)
Monica: Hey, are we still on for tonight?
[cut to onstage with Lauren standing in for Kate, the doorbell rings.]
Hoshi: All right, on the table. (Pete gets on the table for his rubdown)
[Cut to Joey hanging up the phone in Vegas. He's wearing a Roman gladiator's uniform and goes over to join a family to pose for a picture. You see, he's apparently taken a job at Caesar's Palace.]
Monica: And I suppose you used a ring designer for that.
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
ESTELLE: Look honey, people get fired left and right in this business. I already got you an audition for Another World.
Ross: No, no, no... why, because it might get weird for everyone else? Who cares about them. This is about us. Look, I-I've been in love with you since, like, the ninth grade.
(She goes in, and sees Jason without his shirt. It turns out that he has a great body too, and is at a loss for words.)
Rachel: Oh honey, I'm sorry we can't help you there, 'cause we're cuddlily sleepers. (Chandler makes an 'Ewww' face) Okay, I'm late for work.
Kate: He happens to be brilliant. Which is more than I can say for that sweater youre dating.
[Ross comes out of Rachel's bedroom in her bathrobe and heads for the bathroom. On his way back, Richard comes out of Monica's bedroom in her bathrobe.]
Phoebe: No! Rachel, thats what they want me to do. My warranty expires tomorrow, if I dont get through, theyre not gonna fix my crappy, broken phone for free! We cannot let them win! Its us versus them!
Chandler: Buy it for ya, or win it for ya?
Frank: I know! Why dont you get drunk! That worked for a lot of girls in my high school.
Chandler: Yeah, well, lucky for you.
Rachel: Im going for a walk.
[Scene: Backstage at Joeys play, Joey is changing for the next scene as Kate arrives, carrying her bags.]
Joey: (to Ross) Wanna play strip poker for practice?
Rachel: I’m telling you guys, we followed them out to a house in Westchester, the went in for like forty-five minutes and then they came out looking pretty happy!
Joey: I know Im having the worst time. There was a 15-minute line for the buffet, and when I finally got up to the plates, I slipped on a giant booger!
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is pacing back and forth waiting for someone.]
Joey: Did you not hear the plot of the movie? "She's been dead for ten years." I'm gonna be a millionaire!
DIRECTOR'S ASSISTANT: Hey Sal, Jerry wants to know if the monkey's ready for the subway set?
[cut to Monica opening the door of the beach house, with Chandler trying to pick her up for a date.]
Phoebe Sr: Ohh, well. Y'know we were always together, in fact the had a nickname for the three of us.
Rachel: Well, Ill be waiting for you, just come up when youre done.
Monica: Hey, Rachel, Can-can I see you for a sec?
[Scene: A hallway, Ross is selling Brown Bird cookies for Sarah, he stops and knocks on a door.]
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, yknow what, lets look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then
Jay Leno: (on TV) Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Ross: (running to the door) Oh, mine! Mine! Mine! (to everyone) Okay, here goes. Prepare yourselves for some Class A flirting.
(Rachel brightly limps back across the apartment with glasses of wine for the cute doctors, leaving an open-mouthed Monica in her wake.)
Ross: And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship!!
Rachel: Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!!
Ross: Come on, show them to me. (reaches for her cards, Rachel covers them up)
Joey: (to Peter) Good for you!!
Rachel: You guys, theres a little girl in Soho looking for this cat. I mean, you know what that means?!
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
(Ross motions for the girls to pick.)
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonwell Shropshire really but yknowwell shes about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if youd like to keep her company this evening?
Ross: Thanks for the coffee, or bedankt voor de koffie, Gunter. (He translates that phrase into Dutch.)
MONICA: They want me to do it, which is really cool, seeing as I've never catered before, and I really need the money, and this isn't a problem for you, is it?
Rachel: Monica! I couldnt find him for two hours! He was having sex with Amy Welch!
Monica: You dont have to stick up for her. She cant here you.
Young Ethan: Well, if that's what you kids are calling it these days then, yes I am. I uh, I've kinda been waiting for the right person.
Chandler: I hope you know what Im giving up for ya, because shes not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean.
Ross: Yeah, um, okay see, you were, you were on the list but my friend, Chandler (Chandler waves) brought up the very good point that you are international, so I bumped you for Wynona Rider, local.
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Phoebe: Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes!
Joanna: Knowing youre here, waiting for me I think its kinda exciting.
Tim: Last time I saw you, it was the morning I left for college. And you were just standing outside The Dairy Queen.
Monica: I'm making cookies for Erica. And oh, by the way, we have to leave for the airport soon, her plane comes in about an hour.
MONICA: Hey, you know I got a question for ya. Just a little thing, no pressure.
Rachel: What if I clean your bathroom for a month?
Joey: (hesitates for a moment)Yeah Connecticut...Not West Virginia.
Rachel: Foot rubs for a month!
Rachel: Jo-Joey, look honey we-we need to talk okay? Umm, I kinda got the feeling from her today that uh, shes not lookin for a serious relationship.
Monica: Well, I was going for wrong, but we can use your word.
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel is coming in for the day.]
The Salesman: Okay, I-I get the picture. Uh, thanks, for your time. (Starts to leave)
Rachel: Thats easy for you to say, you werent almost just killed.
(Rachel walks inside, stops, and turns back to look at Ross for a moment then goes upstairs.)
MONICA: For the sixteenth time, no... I do not think you're obsessive.
Monica: So do them for free.
Joey: Hey! I'm getting a little tired of this okay? We said we're sorry. It's Thanksgiving for Pete's sakes! A day of forgiveness!
Phoebe: No, no, thats the ghost for the attic.
(Ross is at a loss for words.)
Gym Employee: Okay, no problem. (To someone out of the picture) Could you come here for a second?
Chandler: Thats our phone number. Now look, I know I kinda sprung this whole me moving out on thing, so why dont I justwhy dont I just cover you for a while?
Chandler (Stands up and walks to Joey): Listen...this is really nice. Do you... (sees his chequebook) Did you write a cheque to Monica for two thousand dollars? Did Monica borrow money from you?
[Scene: The Philly, With or Without You is playing. (Which is the same song Ross played for Rachel in TOW the List.)]
Chandler: Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. (He holds up a bandaged hand.) Little tip: if youre ever in a similar situation, never ever leave your hand... (he mimes Nina taking her revenge) ..on the desk.
Ross: Yeah, but you were the one who got him back, y'know? You, you were great. ...Hey, we uh, we still have that, uh, that bottle of wine. You in the mood for, uh, something grape?
ROSS: [pulls Rachel aside] I just, I wanted to thank you for our uh, our little talk before.
Mr. Simon: Why wasnt I offered that? Id definitely pay more for that.
Rachel: What are you ever gonna use that for?!
Chandler: To pay for the gym.
Joey: (To Mr. Treeger) So you ah, ready for our last practice?
Interviewer: So it looks like youve got some great experience here. Lets see ahh, reason for leaving last job?
Joey: How about zero down and zero a month for a long, long time?
JOEY: [to a wedding guest] How's that pig-in-the-blanket workin' out for you? [the guy nods] I wrapped those bad boys.
Kate: No, thats not it. So, youre a soap actor? Well this must be pretty exciting for you to be in a real play, hmm?
Phoebe: Yeah. See, that money was for a big wedding, that we thought we didn’t want, but it turns out we do.
Chandler and Phoebe: Ill be a fool for you. Im sure, you know I dont mind.
MONICA: Why, it's dinner for six. 5 steaks, and an eggplant for Phoebe.
Monica: How about we play for more money, say 150?
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Kathy: No, no, it's not like that. I, I work for a medical researcher.
Rachel: Yes, I was 4 years old and I was on the swing and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain. And to get me out my mom had to-had to cut a big chunk of my hair! (crying) And it was uneven for weeks!
Rachel: Okay, so lets play for some pepper! Stop spending my money!