words in movies
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Monica and Phoebe are showing everyone the van they bought for the catering business. Its an old Dodge van, that has a cartoon woman riding on a dragon painted on the side of it.]
Phoebe: Yeah, its for our catering business!
Monica: Well, Im gonna fill in for him as food critic for the Chelsea Reporter.
Monica: Oh no-no-no, its only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners.
Chandler: (entering) Hey, you guys! Hey, Ross, quick question for ya. Are you ready to party?
Ross: I dont know, I could maybe go out for a couple of beers, but theres this thing about bumblebees on The Discovery Channel that I was planning to watch.
Rachel: Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something. Theres an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss
Joanna: (interrupting) Okay, but that would actually be a big step down for me.
Rachel: Well, actually, I meant for me. The hiring committee is meeting people all day and
Joanna: Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you cant stay my assistant forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons.
Chandler: Look you dont understand, Gandolf is amazing. Yknow youre never know whats gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia!
Joanna: Oh. And Rachel has been really incredible in getting my morning bagel for me. Its amazing how she gets it right almost every time!
Phoebe: Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandros? Sure, but Id have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place.
Phoebe: Ooh, I gotta go. I found a guy that who could fix up the van for catering.
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
Rachel: Hey Mon, little question for ya! How do you think this suit will look on an assistant buyer?
Rachel: Hey, Pheebs, quick question for ya.
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
Monica: Its okay, cause y'know what? You dont really need me for the business.
Phoebe: Youre the cook! With out you its just me driving up to peoples houses with empty trays and asking for money!
Phoebe: For what? I cant believe this! I gotta get out of here. (leaves)
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Allesandro: Im so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, its like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much were gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef.
Chandler: Umm maam, do you have a minute? (She points for him to come in) I kind of have some bad news. I dont think I can move to Tulsa.
Rachel: I mean I got news for you mister, Emma? Not easy.
Joey: How long do you have to go for?
Announcer: Presenting the award for Favorite Supporting Actress is Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives. (Applause as Joey angrily walks to the podium and eyes the trophy.)
Monica: No. I can't be away from you for that long.
Phoebe: Ooh, great! Just the reaction I was hoping for.
Joey: Yeah, so you found someone for me. You didn't forget?
Joey: Look, can I just stop you right there for a second? When people do this (Makes quote marks with his fingers.) I dont really know what that means. (Ross just looks at him) You were saying?
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
Chandler: Looking for restaurant jobs for you in Tulsa.
Rachel: Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma.
Phoebe: You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you.
Ross: Hey! So what's the big news you had us rush all the way over here for?
Phoebe: Who are you kidding? (To Joey) You just find some guy off the street for me? Oh God! This is humiliating!
Nurse: (To Ross) Rossy, we're ready for you.
Sally: It's hard isn't it? There's almost no time for a social life. I mean, where are you gonna meet someone?
Phoebe: oh umm Mike's picking me up for a date.
Phoebe: Thank you. Can you believe no-one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me?
Phoebe: Would you stop that! Do you wanna know the first thing she said when she came back from her lunch with Richard? She didn't feel anything for him. She loves you!
Ross: I know and yet here you are all ready for the next date.
Joey raises his hand: Uh.. who has to die for me to get her?
Joey: yeah and hey thanks again for letting me having that last piece of cake at the restaurant.
Phoebe: (reading): Dear Ms. Green, thank you for your inquiry, however... oh... (crumples up letter)
[Scene: Phoebe's at her apartment waiting for Mike Ross comes over.]
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Mike: I just think there's somebody better out there for you, (pause) I mean I'm not saying me but. maybe me.
Mike: No. well look can I think your weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also wanna kiss you.
Phoebe: Ohh. Oh wait! (Jis) you guys won�t be late for my dinner, will you?
Chandler: But, those are for you.
Monica: Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.
Ross: I know, it�s the first time, we�re leaving the baby and � hey, I know how hard it is for you, but � but Emma is gonna be fine. My mom is gonna be with her. She�s great with kids.
Chandler: No-no, wait! There's got to be a better explanation. You can tell them you had to make an adult film for your (Thinks) adult film class.
Monica: Uch. I am still so mad at you for smoking.
Phoebe: You guys, we�ve been waiting for you for a long time, maybe you should order.
Joey: Well, I think we've all learned something about who's disgusting and who's not. Eh? All right, now, I'm going to get back to my bucket. I'm only eating the skin, so the chicken's up for grabs. (Offers it to everyone.)
Chandler: Oh, I'm so glad we cleared that up. Look, I'm sorry, some things are different for men and for women.
Joey: Oh no-no, no for I second there I counted six fingers, but one was from the other hand so were good.
Joey: Interesting. all right I'll go out with her again and try to get past it (reaches for the chips) OH SALT BLOATY!
Mike: You need both hands for that?
Rachel: That's great, great. So do you have any questions for us?
Rachel: Allright. Well thank you so much for coming... (they're standing up and make their way to the door)
Phoebe: Wow. Where is your luggage? (David thinks for a while)
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
Rachel: Oh, that would be great! (Sandy leaves for Emma's room) I love him, I love him, I love him...
Joey: Oh Monica. (goes over and hugs her, then looks at the form and stops hugging her.) Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, (sees Monica) for like a day. (hugs her again).
Sandy: Oh, oh, I can do it for her, if you want...
Chandler: (entering, angry) Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? (Pause) Your tailor is a very bad man!
Ross: What kind of job is that for a man? A nanny? I-It's like if a woman wanted to be...
[Scene: Chandler arrives home and Monica's got a video of Sharks ready for Chandler.]
Phoebe: (points to David) And you thanks for the face massage. Thank you.
Joey: Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! (Starts for his room.) And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about.
Sandy: Who's up for puppets?
Joey: Me! I'm up for puppets!
Monica: Absolutely! (He goes to kiss her, but she stops him and rubs his head and says...) Now get out of here you!! (Pete leaves) (to the gang) Okay, Im running out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I only attracted to guys where theres no future? Either theyre too old, or theyre too young, and then theres Pete whos-whos crazy about me, and whos absolutely perfect for me, and theres like zip going on! I mean, seriously, does it sound like somethings wrong with me?!
ROSS: I'm getting ready for the water skiing. [Mr. Greene opens the door which pulls Ross in] How are you doing?
Chandler: Nope... (Monica walks in) Hey... so I'm gonna... put the plates back. You know, I think you were right, I don't think we should use these plates again for a looong time.
Chandler: No, 'Slim Pickings', it's a barbecue restaurant. They're looking for a cook. Actually 'cook' may be a bit of a stretch. They're looking for someone to shovel mesquite.
CHANDLER: Joey just called.� He's got courtside Knicks tickets for him and me tomorrow night.
MONICA: Really?� But tomorrow night is the only night I get off from the restaurant.� If you go to the game, we won't have a night together for another week.
RACHEL: Oh well, well thank you.� (She laughs.� He stares for a moment.)� Okay, stop.� Stop looking at me like that.� The last time that happened, (points to Ross) that happened.� (points to Emma.)
RACHEL: Yeah, yeah.� Phoebe and I are going to have so much fun.� And thank you for watching the baby, by the way.
RACHEL: (to Ross) Ok.� So now, I think Emma is probably down for the night, but if you need anything Ross . . .
MONICA: Because. . .� one of them is for you.
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.
CHANDLER: I'm just going to wait for a little while.
PHOEBE: Yeah. . . I'm sorry.� We weren't really looking for anything to happen with you guys.� I, I have a boyfriend.
RACHEL: (as Ross) "Yeah.� That works for me." (Clears throat twice more.)
RACHEL: Well, the point is, maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross, you know?� I should just . . . move on with my life.
ROSS: Okay.� Well, thanks, ah, thanks for the beer.
Ross: Married couples send out cards, families send out cards, people who have been dating for a couple of months do not send out cards! What-what is she crazy?!
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
Hooker: Uh, no. But I could pretend to strip, but thats gonna cost extra. Okay, heres the extras, handcuffs, spanking (Chandler grunts for her not to continue and Joey pulls him back into the kitchen.)
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry. Please apologise to Sandy and the Snufflebumps for me.
Monica: I can't believe you're not gonna be here for Christmas.
Phoebe: So here is a, a very special holiday song that I wrote for some very important people to me. (singing:)
Ross: I cant believe someone would do that for a grade.
Chandler: No not okay, you can't look for Monica's presents!
Rachel: Don't worry, we're just gonna search here for an hour, and then we're gonna go over to Joey's and search, OK?
Rachel: We are looking for our Christmas presents from Monica.
Phoebe: Ooh, who's it for?
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Joey: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.
Ross: Oh, nothin much. Just trying to figure out what Im gonna do for dinner.
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Others: (simultaneously) Merry Christmas! (except for Phoebe...)
Wendy: Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some *pissed off* insurance people looking for that ham.
Phoebe Sr: I mean, I know what Im talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. (Phoebe is playing with the puppy again, and not listening) I really shouldnt have given you the puppy first.
Monica: Eh, you work for that.
Joey: Name? (Ross looks at him.) I know Ross but whats it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher.
Chandler: Oh, she's at home, putting up decorations for Rachel's birthday party tonight.
Joey: You damn right I am, I've been waiting for a cookie for 7 minutes.
Gavin: For what?
Monica: Yeah. Hey, that was nice of you guys to back off and let Joey get the girl for once.
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Joey: Oh, man, why did have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't have it makes me want her even more!
Mike: Better think of a new name for him.
Phoebe: I don't know, I kinda like Bob for a girl.
Joey: For a walk.
Chandler: Hello? Oh hi, Doctor Connelly. (pause) No, she's not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this? (his smile fades as he hears the answer) Oh. (pause) Well, so what does that mean? (pause) Ok. Ok, thank you. Thanks. (hangs up)