words in movies
[cut to Phoebe Sr.s house, from the last episode]
[cut to a montage of scenes involving Bonnie, Ross, and Rachel from the last episode.]
[Scene: The beach house, its the same scene from the end of last year, with Ross in front of the two doors of Rachels and Bonnies rooms, trying to decide which door to choose. He finally chooses the one his right and goes in.]
Ross: Okay. (He leans in to kiss her again, but she leans back preventing him from making contact.) Wow, its-its 5:30 in the morning. (Rachel laughs) So, Id better get cracking on this baby.
Rachel: I know. (Hugs him more violently this time and pushes him back away from the letter.)
Joey: Yeah, and Im a little tired from digging the hole.
Ross: Fine! Fine! But this break-up was not all my fault, and she, she says here, (reading from the letter) If you accept full responsibility... (to Chandler and Joey) Full responsibility! ...I can begin to trust you again. Does that seem like something you can do. (yells at Joey) Does it?!!
Phoebe: (reading from the note) Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. Ill miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk. You just wrote this!
Chandler: (following Monica) We were two miles from the house. Scared and alone. We didnt think we could make it. (He goes to put his hands on Monicas shoulders but for some reason can quite complete the action and pulls back.)
Joey: And I was tired from digging the huge hole!
Monica: You cant say that!! You-you dont know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldnt...bend that way. So... (looks at Joey.)
Phoebe Sr.: No, Im not done. I-I-I just want you to know that I, the reason I didnt look you up was, well I was afraid that youd react, just well like, the way, the way youre reacting right now, and cant we just, y'know, start from here?
Ross: (yelling from the bedroom) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!
Rachel: Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Chandler and Joey are there looking at pictures from the trip to London.]
Monica: (cocking her head from side to side in some pre-bouquet-catching ritual) Yeah.
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler are recovering from Ross's rebuke.]
Mr. Zelner: (Sees that she has some ink on her lip from her pen.) Oh Rachel, uhh (He points to his lip to get her to notice the ink on hers.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is returning from her interview attempt.]
Rachel: (entering) Ugh, you will not believe what that sleaze-ball from Ralph Lauren did too me!
Chandler: No, but waitwhat if I bought it from you, yknow? And your nice gesture would be giving it to me at a reasonable price, say (Gets choked up) $1,500?
(Rachel comes out from her room wearing sweat pants and a sweatshirt)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
Rachel: (entering from her room) Okay, gotta go! Wish me luck!
Joey: Oh Rachel look, don't say that, I think you just need a hug from Joey. Come on. Come on. (She hugs him and Joey looks out the window.) She's back! Hot girl's back!
Ross: (from the bathroom) Okay!!
Rachel: You get away from me!! You sick, sick, sick, sick-o!!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is getting a phone number from a woman (Casey) as Chandler watches from the doorway.]
Ross: Okay, theres this guy, Warren, from the museum and hes going on a dig for like two years and hes got this great place he needs to sublet. So uh, you interested?
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing her checkbook as Joey enters from his room wearing a hockey helmet, gloves, and shin guards.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is sitting on couch and Rachel is getting some coffee. Phoebe keeps turning her head from to keep from looking at Rachel.]
Monica: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Rach, a guy from Ralph Lauren called, you got a second interview!
(She goes over and tries to give Phoebe a massage. Phoebe yelps in pain and jumps away from her.)
PHOEBE: Yeah, I talked to my grandma about the Old Yeller incident, and she told me that my mom used to not show us the ends of sad movies to shield us from the pain and sadness. You know, before she killed herself.
Joey: (drinks from the glass and puts it back in the fridge) Yep, it's fat. I drank fat!
Phoebe: (entering from Rachel's bedroom) I found it!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, it's continued from before the commercial break.]
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and her are coming back from lunch.]
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
Caitlin: (from outside) Pizza!
Joey: (to his grandmother) That's uh, scenes from next week's show. Next week's!
[Cut back to the living room. Chandler slowly exits the bathroom and gets pushed from behind by Monica and sees Phoebe closing the apartment door.]
Eric: Hi, its Eric. From the Halloween party, Ursulas fianc�e.
Joey: (returning from a deli) Okay, I got it! This place makes the best sandwich in the world!
Chandler: Okay, then you gotta back away, all right? You dont need that kindve hurt. Take it from a guy whos never had a long term relationship......
Ross: (from his apartment) Man! They cannot get enough! (Makes like he's a robot and waves at the cutouts.)
Rachel: Hey! Hey! (Stops Caitlin) Hi! Hey-hey-hey, I'm Rachel! From upstairs? The ones with all the pizza?
Joey: Oh no-no, no for I second there I counted six fingers, but one was from the other hand so were good.
Ross: Emily is incredible. I mean there-there are no words to describe it, I mean the whole weekend was like a dream. (Sees Rachel coming back from the bathroom.) Oh! And you! Rach!
(Neither of them turns around from watching the chick and the duck look for the tasty treat.)
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
Monica: Anyway, were really excited about our wedding plans, and well I guess pretty soon well be making a big withdrawal from the Monica wedding fund. (Chandler and her laugh, but her parents dont.) What?
Phoebe: No, as soon as something opens up we'll move right in. Unless it doesn't have a pool, I need a pool. (Turns away from him.)
Chandler: All guys that are awake. Then we go to sleep and then all the guys from the other end of the world wake up and behave the exact same way.
Phoebe: Oh that's my grandma. (Joey holds the box away from him.) And thanks Joey she's having a really great time. (Joey is happy now.)
Joey: (on phone from Vegas) Hey Monica, it's Joey!
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) Pheebs, youve been up for 24 hours! Go to sleep, honey. Th-this isnt healthy.
Monica: See now-now youre taking them away from their home.
Joey: No. No. No. She lives on the third floor, eighth apartment from the left.
Monica: (grabbing the gift from him and opening it) Okay! There you go! It's two tickets to Vegas!
Phoebe: Oh, it's your audition from this morning. Can I use the phone again?
(Rachel throws the alcohol in the fire. A burst of flames shoots up from it.)
(Joey wants to know, but Chandler doesnt want to discuss it by the chick, so he and Joey move over to the windows and away from the chick.)
JOEY: [walks out of his room] Hey, this is ridiculous. I'll tell you what. After I get back from my neice's christening, I'll go down to the coffee house with you and we'll all have a nice cup of coffee alright. No problem, Joey's there.
[Scene: Central Perk, the guys are returning from the ride along to find Phoebe already there.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is getting coffee as Joey comes from God knows where! Some back area of Central Perk around the corner that weve never seen! Weeeiiirrrddd .]
Joey: (exiting from Chandlers room with the new roommate) Everything on your application looks really goodOhh! Just one last question umm, are you and your friends gonna be over here all the time like partying and hanging out?
Rachel: It's the woman from the hospital admissions office. She says there's a problem with the form. Oh, god, oh god...
The Cigarette Smoking Guy: (No, not the Cigarette Smoking Man from The X-Files.) Well, maybe you and your baby should go to another strip club.
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, this wooden box keeps sliding out from under the seat. What-what is it?
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Monica: (entering from her bedroom) I gotta go to work. Has anybody seen my left boob?
[Scene: The Craps table, continued from earlier.]
Monica: (to Phoebe) Remember that guy from cooking school I told you about that put cilantro with everything?
Gunther: (bringing Chandler a cup) This is from the woman at the bar.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, continued from earlier.]
(Ross returns from getting some coffee.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is recovering from her false labour.]
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier. Rachel starts laughing.]
Phoebe: Okay, those are my sunglasses, you borrowed them from me.
Ross: (entering from the bathroom) Hey roomies!
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier.]
Monica: (entering from the bathroom) Hey! Happy Anniversary!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the scene is continued from where we left off before the break.]
Rachel: (entering from her room) Pheebs, I wanna ask you something.
Phoebe: Hang on! Hang on! Hang on! (Answering the phone.) Go!! Whos this? (Listens) Oh okay, youre gonna like working for me. Whats your name? (Listens) What kind of name is Brendy? I Whatever Stop talking! All right, from now on your name is Joan. You can pick your own last name.
Phoebe: Okay, what about after I give you these candies? (Hands them each one from her purse.)
Monica: You stole them from me!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's; continued from earlier. Joey is closing the door after Rachel leaves and is about to confront Chandler and Monica.]
Chandler: Don't think of it as a cigarette. Think of it as the thing that's been missing from your hand. When you're holding it, you feel right. You feel complete.
Rachel: You stole them from me!!
The Director: All right, from the top.
Joey: Good evening. Im Mr. Tribbiani. And I will be teaching acting for soap operas. Now um, on my first day as (proudly) Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives, (looks for a reaction from his students, and gets none.) I learned that one of the most important things in soap opera acting is reacting, this does not mean acting again, it means, you dont have a line, but someone else just did. And it goes like this. (looks all intense for a moment and then gasps, the students cheer him) Thanks, thanks, a lot. Oh, by the way, before I forget to work in soap operas some of you will have to become much more attractive. All right, moving right along.
[Scene: The Wedding Chapel, continued from last season. Chandler and Monica are about to get married.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler, and Monica are returning from Central Perk.]
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
Rachel: (entering from her room) Pheebs, I was wondering
All: (they all recoil from the smell emanating from him) Oh! God! Wow!
(There is a cry of disappointment from the crowd of men.)
Woman: (the same one from before approaches) Hi Joey.
Russell: Yes, this Russell, Rosss divorce lawyer, just tell him that since I havent heard from him, I assume hes decided to give the marriage a try.
[cut to Phoebe and Rachel as Monica returns from the bathroom]
Monica: (entering from her room) Hey!
Chandler: Yeah, at least you hid your feelings well about it. (Removes a smashed racquet from his bag.)
Rachel: So-so, you missed a message from who? Chandler or your mom? Or Chandler? Or your mom?
Rachel: Sure, Ill just sit next to the trans-sexual from purchasing.
Rachel: "Im Monica, I dont get phone messages from interesting people. Ever!"
Rachel: Oh, please, I don't care about you enough to bug me. In fact, from now on, I'm going take the high road. And I'm going be very very nice to you, you "momma's boy", starting right now.
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Chandler is trying to get Joeys money back from Ross.]
Phoebe: (calling from her room) Are you under the sheet?
Chandler: So, uh, wh-where ya from?
Monica: What are you talking about? (Pointing out the window.) She obviously lives on the second floor, seventh apartment from the left!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler and Joey are returning from their brunch.]