words in movies
[This starts a series of flashbacks; the first one is from Episode 106: The One With The Butt, Joey is in a play called Freud!.]
[The next one is from Episode 304: The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel, Joey is on Amazing Discoveries.]
[The next one is from Episode 322: The One With The Screamer, its the end of Joeys play.]
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (Smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (Gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne baby Im gonna want to meet her.
[The next one is from Episode 204: The One With Phoebes Husband, when everyone including Julie is watching Joey in his porno.]
Joey: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, (Joey from TV) you know that's bad for the paper tray.
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
[The next one is from Episode 603: The One With Rosss Denial, Joey is amazing Phoebe and Monica by holding his breath.]
[The next one is from Episode 507: The One Where Ross Moves In.]
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Joey: In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And Im also a mento for the kids.(The gang shake their heads.) Yknow a mento, a role model. (Chandler bites his fist to keep from talking.)
[The next one is from Episode 604: The One Where Joey Loses His Insurance.]
[The next one is from Episode 609: The One Where Ross Got High, Rachel is describing her desert to Joey and Ross.]
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
[The next one is from Episode 619: The One With Joeys Fridge.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Chandler is entering to find Joey bingeing on the food from the fridge. Joey isnt doing all that well.]
[The next one is from Episode 711: The One With All the Cheesecakes.]
[Scene: Central Perk, continued from earlier.]
[They gang all lean back to listen better, and this starts another series of flashbacks. The first one is from Episode 214: The One With The Prom Video, Rachel has just found the bracelet that Joey gave Chandler, which is after he bought one to replace it.]
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
[The next one is from Episode 512: The One With Chandlers Work Laugh, Joey and Phoebe are betting on who will reach the treat the fastest, the chick or the duck.]
Joey: All right. Let's get the contestants out of their isolation booths. (He removes the waste bucket that's over the duck and the laundry basket that's over the chicken.) And they're off! (He puts his foot in front of the chick, stopping it from moving.)
Phoebe: (turning from Ross.) No!! Hey-hey that's not a Nutter-Butter, that's just an old Wonton!
[The next one is from Episode 401: The One With The Jellyfish, where Monica, Joey, and Chandler are relating that tragic day they spent on the beach.]
Monica: You cant say that!! You-you dont know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldnt...bend that way. So... (Looks at Joey.)
[The next one is from Episode 712: The One Where Theyre Up All Night, Joey and Ross are deciding how to climb down the final part of the fire escape.]
[The next one is from Episode 722: The One With Chandlers Dad.]
[The next one is from Episode 608: The One With Rosss Teeth, Chandler is accusing Joey of becoming less of a man.]
[The next one is from Episode 706: The One With The Nap Partners.]
[The next one is from Episode 605: The One With Joey's Porsche.]
[The next one is from Episode 613: The One With Rachels Sister, Chandler has just opened the door to reveal a woman standing there.]
[The final one is from Episode 607: The One Where Phoebe Runs, Joey has been trying to repel Janice and sees its not working to his liking so hes confronting her about the sexual tension.]
(Chandler enters from his bedroom, all depressed and wearing sweat pants, with the chick and duck in tow.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
Chandler: Mr. Millionaire, new from Snooty Playthings! Third wife sold separately.
Ross: (he starts reading directly from his cards word for word very quietly) "There are three primary theories concerning sediment flow rate. Each of these theories can be further subcategorized into two distinct "
Ross: So umm, any word from Susan?
Joey: ...Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven. See, I told you! Less than a hundred steps from our place to here.
Monica: (Entering from her bedroom) How desperate am I?
Ross: (yelling from the bedroom) WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!!!!!
Chandler: Yes it is! From now on, I have no first name.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
(Rachel enters from the bathroom and sees the coat.)
Ross: (entering from the bedroom) Hey, what's goin' on? (Pats Chandler on the shoulder which causes him to jump.)
Phoebe: (in a nasally voice, from her cold) But I'm unemployed, my music is all I really have now. Well music, and making my own shoes. (She puts her shoe on the table, and it's horribly decorated) Pretty, huh? (Sneezes)
Ross: (knocks on door) Rach, you there? (Joey and Rachel both get up from the bed)
Ross: (yelling, thinking Emily can hear him through the answering machine all the way to New York.) I love you too! Im, Im gonna call you right now from the phone booth! (Realises) You cant hear me. (Goes to make his call.)
[Scene: Central Perk, scene continued from earlier. They guys are sitting there like the Three Monkeys.]
Rachel: From now?
Ross: So, what are you guys doing four weeks from today?
Monica: It is not over because she is going to call you and tell you she loves you. And the reason why she couldnt, is because her feelings were so strong, it scared her. Now you go home and wait for her call, she could be calling you from the plane! Come on now go! Go! (Tries to push Ross out the door.)
Chandler: And the other ah, Dutch people, they come on from somewhere near the Netherlands, right?
Phoebe: Well, at least you didnt rent yours from a store called, "Its Not Too Late."
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) Well, I just called Joshua
Mr. Treeger: (coming in from the bathroom) Whoa, hey, that ladys all kinds of naked.
Chandler: Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. (Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.)
Monica: Fresh cookies! Hot from the oven!
BIG BULLY: Ok, nothing from the neck up. [everyone gets ready for the fight] Or the waist down. Dana's ovulating.
[Scene: continued from earlier]
[The next clip is from The One With The Blackout.]
Rachel: Oh my God! Calling from Rome! (Takes phone) Bon giorno, caro mio.
ROSS: Oh right, right.� (They pause and exchange a glance. Then, Ross looks away.)� So, are you . . . ah . . . you excited about your, your first night away from Emma?
Rachel: No. (Ross is standing in the doorway.) A break from us.
(As she leaves, a beautiful woman enters and sits down across from the boys.)
[The next clip is from The One The Morning After]
Rachel: Who's this from?
Ross: Rach, I got a message from you.
Phoebe: (clinking two glasses together) Speech! Speech! Lets hear from the birthday girl! Huh?
[The next clip is from The One With The List.]
[The next clip is from The One The Morning After.]
Hums While He Pees: I know its really lame, but I got these tickets from my boss andOh no! No! No! My God!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier.]
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, Phoebe is returning from the bathroom.]
[The next clip is from The One With The Jellyfish.]
Ross: Fine, yknow what, thats it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, everyone is still eating breakfast.]
(Phoebe comes in from the bathroom as Rachel sits down in disgust.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is returning from shopping and Rachel is there.]
Joshua: (getting up and backing away from they.) Is there ah, is there some way they can not be here. Its just ah, farm birds really kinda freak me out!
Rachel: This one's from Joey... feels like a book. Thinks it's a book... feels like a book. And...(opens it)...it's a book!
BIG BULLY: [walks back from the counter] Hey you're in our seats.
Joey: That sounds like another word to me! Are you gonna take this seriously? (Theres no response from Chandler.) Okay.
Monica: I mean, youre the one theyre gonna come to when they wanna run away from home, and the one they talk to about sex.
[Scene: The porch, Bonnie is coming back from swimming, Rachel is reading.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, continued from earlier, Monica is telling Phoebe where everything is.]
The Doctor: (coming in from surgery) Somebody lose a ring?
Joey: Ross-Ross-Ross-Ross! Stay away from that guy (Points), and that guy (Points). And that oneDude! Theyre all huge!
Phoebe: Oh, no-no, this place is totally healthy! Thatthis milk is mine. I bought this today, 'cause I was thirsty for milk, y'know. (She takes a swig of it, but has to turn away from him as she makes a face to show that it has gone bad.) Okay, let's go!
Joey: Wait, well, where did you get it from?!
Monica: Umm, I just wanna say, uh (reads from a 3 X 5 card) that with a pinch of exictement, a dash of hard work, a dollup of cooperation, we can have the recipe... (Looks up and sees eveyone glaring at her) Are you gonna kill me?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, its continued from earlier. Joey is now waking Chandler and telling him the news.]
Rachel: I know. (They hug.) Oh-oh, wait did you hear that-hear that? Listen, Im gettin something from your grandmother, she said that since you get to keep the one bedroom apartment you should give Rachel the purple chair?
Monica: (Looking nauseous from her parents kissing.) And Im going to go get drunk. (Gets up to get a drink.)
Danielle: Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay.
Rachel: Wh, Ross what do you want from me? You want me, you want me to quit my job so you can feel like you have a girlfriend?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is returning from a date with Josh, and when they get the door open, Rachel turns and passionately kisses Josh.]
(A strange woman sticks her head out from a third changing cubicle to the far right)
Phoebe: So you still hadn't heard from Emily?
Rachel: Ohh, he's married! Ross is married. I can'tI still can't believe it. (Rachel grabs the picture from Monica)
(Chandler and Joey look at her, and then look back at him. They dive for Ross's hand to see what he had, and he tries to stop them from looking.)
Phoebe: (singing) New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour. But to me it is not scary, 'cause I stay away from dairy.... la la la, la la, la la... (she writes the lyrics down)
Joey: Yeah. I am sorry he's not here too, but I got to say, (takes some nachos from a plate on the seat where Chandler should have been) I am really enjoying Nacho Chair.
[Scene: The hallway, continued from earlier. Monica is still locked out.]
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is balancing a mini hockey stick on his hand as Chandler enters from his room carrying a bunch of bills.]
ROSS: Oh OK. Well then why don't you, uhh, why don't you borrow it from mom and dad? You feel guilty and tense around them already. You might as well make some money off of them.
Billy: Thomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me, and nobody else.
[cut to another clip, this one is from The One With The Prom Video]
Joey: (sitting up from the couch) Hey Mon, do you have another pillow? (Holds up one.) Yknow, something a little snugglyer?
[Scene: Joey's room, he is recovering from his birth.]
Ross: Well, that's cool. So did (She walks away from him and he shuts up.)
[Scene: A street, Ross and Emily are walking home from a date.]
[Ross enters with several bags from shopping.]
Monica: Yes. Yes, I was. A guy. From work. (Thinks) I'm seeing a guy from work! Ha!
(He turns and looks at her. The woman whispers something to Gunther; who comes back and takes the mug away from Chandler.)
Emily: (on phone from London) Hello, Ross?
(Monica points the remote at her TV, and punches out a key combination from the book, but the dreaded SAP logo remains and Spanish still comes forth.)
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, its just Monica and Chandler dancing to Wonderful Tonight on the Slowhand album by Eric Clapton. And you can buy that album from the CFSI, just click on the CDNow link.]
Ticket Agent: Oh Im afraid that plane has already pulled away from the gate.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is eating the picnic as Rachel comes home from work.]
Monica: (entering from her room) Hey, guess what I'm doing this weekend! I'm going to this culinary fair in New Jersey.
(They both sit down at the table and the chick and the duck enter from Joeys bedroom.)
Rachel: (going through the mail) Oh look! A letter from my mom.
Ross: Events from around the globe.
Monica: We got out pictures back from London. (Shows her one.) Here's all of us at the Tower of London.
Monica: Chandler stole a twenty from my purse!
Joey: Yeah, it is! You wouldnt have lost the ring, right? Yknow what, Ross you were right from the start, he (Chandler) should be your best man.
Monica: I don't know, how about the idiot who thought he could drive from Albany to Canada on a half a tank of gas!
Ross: Yeah. You can help me get my furniture back from Gunther.
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. (sees Kate is watching, he turns Lauren so that he can talk directly to Kate, but still look like he is talking to Lauren) Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, youve got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, Im gonna want to meet her.
Ross: Yes! Yes! I mean it's-it's kinda far from work, but uh, y'know, I'll get so much done on the commute. I-I've been given the gift of time!
(They start to go into Monica and Rachels, their apartment is filled with all of the old Christmas trees from Joeys work.)