words in movies
[Enter Jack and Judy Geller]
Mrs. Geller: Hello everybody!
Mr. Geller: Hi!
Mrs. Geller: (less than pleased) Oh yes of course, hello Chandler.
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!
Mr. Geller: (angry) No.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Mr. Geller: Monica, all this food looks wonderful, you should think about doing this for a living.
Mr. Geller: Ok, I have dandruff. Theres no need to laugh and point.
Mr. Geller: My joke wasnt funny.
Phoebe: Rach, Rach, I just remembered. I had a dream about Mr. Geller last night.
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
Rachel: I dunno. Yknow to me hell always be Jack Geller, walks in while youre changing.
Mr. Geller: I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?
Mrs. Geller: Oh, thank you Chandler! I just bought it.
Mr. Geller: Whats the matter with him?
Mrs. Geller: (whispers to Jack a little loudly) I think hes stoned again.
Mrs. Geller: (lying) Ive gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is, from Monicas room.
Mr. Geller: (also lying) Ill help you dial.
Mr. Geller: Boy, Im glad I wore the big belt today.
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: What?!
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
Mrs. Geller: It was you?
[Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the table, looking at the Geller siblings like theyre weirdos.]
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Mr. Geller: And we kinda figured about the porch swing.
Mrs. Geller: Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again?
Mr. Geller: What happened son?
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monicas bedroom.
[Scene: The Gellers' kitchen. Monica, Mrs. Geller and one of Mrs. Geller's friends are preparing the cake.]
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)
MR. GELLER: Honey. Honey, have you seen my Harmon Kilerbrew bat? Bob doesn't believe I have one.
MR. GELLER: Press the button.
Mr. Geller: They never did, so if ever see me giving them legal advice just nod along. Shall we?
MRS. GELLER: We just know she's got the IQ of a napkin.
[the guys form a wall between Mrs Geller and Mr Geller and dance across the hall as he walks across]
MRS. GELLER: Ross, whose glasses are those?
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
MR. GELLER: Oh, Judy. Oh, Judy.
Mr. Geller: Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
Mr. Geller: I saw Richard.
Mr. Geller: Well, he's doing terrible!
Mr. Geller: No.
Mr. Geller: Maybe.
Mr. Geller: You don't wanna know.
Mr. Geller: So, how are you doing?
Mrs. Geller: Well what is it? Come on sweetie, your like, freaking me out here.
Mr. Geller: No, the man is a mess.
MR. GELLER: A woman in my office is a lesiban. I'm just saying.
MR. GELLER: Well, c'mon. Don't ya want to find out?
Mr. Geller: Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was.
Jester: Look, its like I told you, theres nothing I can do. You signed for it, Monica Velula Geller.
MR. GELLER: Who's drink can I freshen?
MR. GELLER: Apparently, he told Johnny Shapiro that she's quite a girl. In fact, he told Johnny that he thinks he's falling in love with her.
Guy: Which bedroom do ya want it in Miss Geller?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Mr. and Mrs. Geller are watching tennis on TV, Monica is sitting at the table]
MR. GELLER: That's impossible, he's got a twinkie in the city.
Mr. Geller: (pause) Sorry to bother you again, but could you pass my pamphlets back? (They do so.) Thank you.
Ross: Oh yeah! Then how come you didnt get the Geller Cup?
MRS. GELLER: So Jack, you ever think about trading me in for a younger model?
[Monica jumps in the shower. Right after Mrs. Geller enters the bathroom, Mr. Geller peeks his head in.]
Mrs. Geller: Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident. (Hands Ross a bottle of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears)
Rachel: Um, there was a Geller Cup?
Ross: The Geller Cup.
Mr. Geller: Well, it's your mother's bridge night so I thought that I would come into the city for a little Monicuddle. (hugs her) Since when did you start smoking cigars?
Sarah: Really Mr. Geller, you dont have to do this.
Ross: Phoebe! You're note, amazing! Not only did no one touch my sandwich, but people at work are actually afraid of me. Yeah, a guy called me mental! Mental Geller, yeah, I always wanted a cool nickname like that.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Leader: Hi. And batting for Sarah, Ross Geller, 872. Although, it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself.
Monica: Well, every, every Thanksgiving um, we used to have a touch football game called the Geller Bowl.
Phoebe: You guys were right. Hes just too excited about everything. I mean Im all for living life, but this is the Gellers 35th anniversary. Okay? Lets call a spade a spade this party stinks.
Ross: We met at Phoebes birthday party, Im, Im Ross Geller.
MR. GELLER: Atta boy. [Ross scrambles upstairs to change]
MR. GELLER: It's the off light. Right Ross? [pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache]
[Scene: The Hospital, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there, along with Aunt Lillian. Ross and Monica enter and everyone says hi and kisses.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Why? Why-why-would youWh-why (To Mr. Geller) Look, I just dont want you to think that were animals who do it whenever we want.
Mr. Geller: I tell you one thing, I wouldn't mind having a piece of this sun-dried tomato business. Five years ago, if somebody had said to me, here's a tomato that looks like a prune, I'd say "get out of my office!"
Rachel: (on phone) Chip! Hi, its Rachel. (listens) Rachel Green. Yeah, umm, you left me a message. (listens) Yes you did, my roommate wrote it down. (listens) Monica Geller. (listens) Ohh.
Mrs. Geller: Ahh, thats what your Grandmothers hands looked like when we found her.
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Hows the hired help?
Mrs. Geller: Hmm.
Mrs. Geller: Whats this? Blue nail polish?
[Scene: The Gellers Kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are still cooking.]
Mrs. Geller: Um-hmm.
Mrs. Geller: (laughs) Im not freaking out.
Mrs. Geller: (entering) (to Monica) Honey, dont bite your nails.
Mrs. Geller: No, I have faith
Mrs. Geller: No-no-no, that was all true. This was just in case you pulled a Monica.
Mrs. Geller: Yes, well I was wrong, and I have to say you really impressed me today.
[Scene: The Gellers kitchen, Phoebe is bringing in some dirty dishes.]
Mrs. Geller: I thought it was quite tasty.
Mrs. Geller: Its nothing, its just that now your Father owes me five dollars.
MR. GELLER: Of course not. With you it's like I've got two 25-year-olds.
Mrs. Geller: (interrupting) A bitch?
Phoebe: Oh, do I have a middle name. All right Monica Velula Geller. Its that bedroom there. (points to Monicas room)
Monica: Well, maybe you could give to somebody else. Ooh, like Ross Geller.
Monica: Hi. Uh, you... you don't know me, I'm Monica Geller... Ross's sister.
Phoebe: (On the phone, in New York) Uh, hello, this is Ross Gellers personal physician, Dr. Philange.
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
Tour Guide: You mean Dr. Geller?
MR. GELLER: Well, I can't say any of us were surprised. Your parents have been unhappy ever since we've known them. Especially after that incident in Hawaii.
Joey: (standing up) I will sit with you Dr. Geller. (He goes over to his table and they shake hands.)
Mrs. Geller: (reaches out to fiddle with Monica's hair again, and realises) Those earrings look really lovely on you.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-
RICHARD: [walks out of the bathroom and runs into Mrs. Geller who is going to the bathroom] Judy, going to the bathroom, good for you.
MRS. GELLER: Almost time for cake.
Mrs. Geller: Get a shot of Monica. Where's Monica.
Mrs. Geller: Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off?
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Mr. Geller: C'mon kid, let's go.
Mr. Geller: Let's show 'em.
Mrs. Geller: Monica! I think Rachel's here!
Mrs. Geller: You too sweethart!
Mrs. Geller: Ahh, are you hadsome.
Mr. Geller: Hi Rachel!
Mr. Geller: Oh my!
Mrs. Geller: Jack, thats what they call the subway.
Mrs. Geller: I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.
Mrs. Geller: Sweetheart. Oh sorry were late, my fault, I insisted on riding the tube.
RACHEL: Now I'm mommy in this little play? Alright look, I refuse to get sucked into this like, weird little Geller dimension thing OK. So I'm gonna go and take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy. [goes in the bathroom]
Mr. Geller: Ohh, I thought that you....
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well, I'm so glad you brought him here then.
Mrs. Geller: We know how expensive weddings can be, besides this may be the only wedding we get to throw (patting Monica on the shoulder.).
Mr. Geller: Theres no way in hell, Im paying for it.
Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. its insane.
Phoebe: yeah well (pause) yeah you know Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.
Mr. Geller: And you tell him no one takes advantage of the Gellers.
Mrs. Geller: (To Mr. Geller) This is worse than when he married the lesbian.