words in movies
[Enter Jack and Judy Geller]
Mrs. Geller: Hello everybody!
Mr. Geller: Hi!
Mrs. Geller: (less than pleased) Oh yes of course, hello Chandler.
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!
Mr. Geller: (angry) No.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Mr. Geller: Monica, all this food looks wonderful, you should think about doing this for a living.
Mr. Geller: Ok, I have dandruff. Theres no need to laugh and point.
Mr. Geller: My joke wasnt funny.
Phoebe: Rach, Rach, I just remembered. I had a dream about Mr. Geller last night.
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
Rachel: I dunno. Yknow to me hell always be Jack Geller, walks in while youre changing.
Mr. Geller: I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?
Mrs. Geller: Oh, thank you Chandler! I just bought it.
Mr. Geller: Whats the matter with him?
Mrs. Geller: (whispers to Jack a little loudly) I think hes stoned again.
Mrs. Geller: (lying) Ive gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is, from Monicas room.
Mr. Geller: (also lying) Ill help you dial.
Mr. Geller: Boy, Im glad I wore the big belt today.
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: What?!
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
Mrs. Geller: It was you?
[Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the table, looking at the Geller siblings like theyre weirdos.]
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Mr. Geller: And we kinda figured about the porch swing.
Mrs. Geller: Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again?
Mr. Geller: What happened son?
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monicas bedroom.
Rachel: Oh-oh Professor Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
Professor Feesen: Professor Geller!
[Scene: Mr. Geller's party. Mr. Geller and a friend are questioning Richard while Ross observes.]
Mrs. Geller: Not that old crow, my mother. (They stop and she kisses Monica on the cheek.) Congratulations darling.
Monica: Well Im Monica Geller, ball like a baby.
Elizabeth: This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.
Benjamin: Certainly. Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles hit was later covered by a popular British invasion band?
MR. GELLER: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . .
Judge: And based on the fact that Mr. Geller is intravenous drug user.
"Whenever I get married, guess who wont get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!"
Mrs. Geller: You tell her Jack, I cant do it.
Mr. Geller: I remember when we first got engaged.
Mr. Geller: (ignoring her) Well, Id gotten Judy pregnant. I still dont know that happened.
Mr. Geller: We have it. Only now, we call it the beach house.
Mrs. Geller: Stupid Jack, the word is stupid.
Mr. Geller: What?! They wanted a scary story!
Mr. Geller: It seemed like such a simple idea.
Mr. Geller: Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you cant put a price on that sweetie.
Mrs. Geller: She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
Ross: Im a professor here uh, Ross Geller.
Mr. Geller: And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know Im looking for her.
Monica: Anyway, Ross and I were always captains, and um, it got kindve competitive and one year, Geller Bowl VI, I accidentally broke Rosss nose.
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
Mr. Geller: Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! (Starts to get up.)
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Mr. Geller: Im sorry we cant store your childhood things anymore.
Mr. Geller: Im here!
Mr. Geller: Hi. God, it seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work.
Mr. Geller: So its just your mother then.
Mr. Geller: Well, the white seems to be untouched. (He throws it back into the box as Mr. Geller moves a tarp and makes a discovery.) Uh-oh.
Mr. Geller: So, I think youre boxes are over here. (They walk over to them.)
Mr. Geller: We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.
Mr. Geller: Oh look, look theres your old makeup kit!
Mr. Geller: Well, shell understand right? Its not like I did it on purpose.
Mr. Geller: Really?
Mr. Geller: Great!
Mr. Geller: Oh my God, does she really thinks that?
Mr. Geller: Sure!
Mr. Geller: (overacting) Thats a good one! Do you hear that Ross? Three days!
Mr. Geller: (grabbing a glove) This couldve been hers!
Mr. Geller: Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove.
Mr. Geller: (entering) How are you honey?
Mr. Geller: Im afraid so.
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Screw it! Im having one. (Takes out and lights a cigarette.)
Mr. Geller: Its the key to my Porsche. Well, the key to your Porsche.
Mr. Geller: No. Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business. I wasn't around that much. Is that what this is about?
Mr. Geller: Crap.
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
Mrs. Geller: Oh-ho, I think its nice.
Mr. Geller: You dont secretly smoke do you?
(Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)
Mr. Geller: (To Monica) Why dont we take it for a spin?
Mrs. Geller: (To Chandler) Youve done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
Mrs. Geller: Speech! Come on Monica!
Mr. Geller: Well, its time for a new family to start their memories here and hopefully their check will clear before they find the crack in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling.
Mrs. Geller: (shaking her hand) Its lovely to meet you.
Lewis: Professor Geller?
MR. GELLER: You're the twinkie?
Mrs. Geller: Jack!
Mr. Geller: What?! Ive never seen one before!
Mrs. Geller: You could kick anyones ass you want too.
(Mr. and Mrs. Geller start to walk away.)
Mr. Geller: Doctor Ross Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Yeah, the list thatof people were allowed to sleep
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]
Mr. Geller: of course you can kick his ass son.
Mr. Geller: Your mother just added him to her list.
Mrs. Geller: I certainly see what the girls like coming here.
MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
Mrs. Geller: Here comes the bride.
(Rachel and Mrs. Geller enter.)
Mr. Geller: You cant ask us son, thats cheating.
Mr. Geller: I thought he was with you.
Mrs. Geller: Oh I wish youre grandmother had lived to see this.
(Mr. Geller turns the corner.)
Mr. Geller: I love you sweetheart. (He kisses her and they sit down.)
Mr. Geller: Way to go son! I knew youd find him!
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Little Girl: Dr. Geller, will you dance with me?
Monica: Mrs. Bing? Here, these are my parents umm, Judy and Jack Geller.
Little Girl: Dr. Geller?
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you cant keep your hands off her for one second!
(Mr. Geller dances over.)
Mr. Geller: Chandler, Im gonna have you arrested.
Mr. Geller: You stole my moves. (He starts to dance like Chandler was and Chandler stops.)
Mrs. Geller: We really do feel bad about this though.
MRS. GELLER: Ahh, are you hadsome.
Mr. Geller: It is off. Right Ross? (pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache)
Ross: Hi. Im Ross Geller. I live in the building.
Ross: (clinking a wine glass) Can I have everyones attention please? Im uh; Im Ross Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Mr. Geller: Well, I used your boxes to divert water away from the Porsche.
Ross: Youve seen it, the Geller Yeller.
Ross: I dont think you had an open mind about the name Ruth. I mean, come on, little Ruthie Geller, how-how cute is that?
Mr. Geller: Well, I dont know whats in the boxes down here, but I do know there are six or seven Easy Bake Ovens in the attic.
Mr. Geller: I just wish Nana were alive to hear Rosss toast.
Mr. Geller: Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight. You can do this.