words in movies
[Enter Jack and Judy Geller]
Mrs. Geller: Hello everybody!
Mr. Geller: Hi!
Mrs. Geller: (less than pleased) Oh yes of course, hello Chandler.
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!
Mr. Geller: (angry) No.
[Time lapse. The gang is sitting down for Thanksgiving dinner. Chandler is at the head of the table, Mr and Mrs Geller are to his right. Joey and Ross are to his left. Monica is serving things. Phoebe is in the living room and Rachel is at the sink.]
Mr. Geller: Monica, all this food looks wonderful, you should think about doing this for a living.
Mr. Geller: Ok, I have dandruff. Theres no need to laugh and point.
Mr. Geller: My joke wasnt funny.
Phoebe: Rach, Rach, I just remembered. I had a dream about Mr. Geller last night.
Phoebe: Yeah, I dreamt that he saved me from a burning building and he was so brave and so strong! And its making me look at him totally differently. Yknow, I mean he used to be just, yknow Jack Geller Monica and Rosss dad and now hes hes Jack Geller, dream hunk."
Rachel: I dunno. Yknow to me hell always be Jack Geller, walks in while youre changing.
Mr. Geller: I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?
Mrs. Geller: Oh, thank you Chandler! I just bought it.
Mr. Geller: Whats the matter with him?
Mrs. Geller: (whispers to Jack a little loudly) I think hes stoned again.
Mrs. Geller: (lying) Ive gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is, from Monicas room.
Mr. Geller: (also lying) Ill help you dial.
Mr. Geller: Boy, Im glad I wore the big belt today.
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: What?!
Mr. and Mrs. Geller: Yes. (They look at Chandler angrily.)
Mrs. Geller: It was you?
[Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting at the table, looking at the Geller siblings like theyre weirdos.]
Mrs. Geller: (rubbing her temples) Thats alot of information to get in in thirty seconds! Alright Joey, if wanna leave, just leave. Rachel, no you werent supposed to put beef in the trifle. It did not taste good. Phoebe, Im sorry, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead. (Phoebe makes a sad face.) Monica, why you felt you had to hide the fact that you were in an important relationship is beyond me.
Mr. Geller: And we kinda figured about the porch swing.
Mrs. Geller: Ross, drugs? Divorced? Again?
Mr. Geller: What happened son?
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Mr. Geller: No! Thank you! (Hugs Chandler) Monica, and Ross! I dont know what Im gonna do about the two of you!
Mrs. Geller: (pointing to herself and Jack) Well we left ours in Monicas bedroom.
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Well, everyone seems to be enjoying your dish.
Mr. Geller: Of course it did. They're made of wicker.
Mr. Geller: Oh, I'm not falling for that one!
Monica: Yeah, the best you got in high school was Wet Pants Geller.
Mr. Geller: All right, enough! I dont want to hear about it anymore! (Under his breath) Good luck, Chandler. (Chandler takes another drink.)
Mrs. Geller: Oh my God! There's a toe in my kitchen.
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
Joey: Shhh! This is a museum, no talking. Right down here, (Motions to a fossilised dinosaur foot.) we have a large foot. (Sees Ross working in one of the display cases.) Uhh, and over here we have Ross Geller. (Knocks on the glass) Everyone wave Hi to Ross. Ross is one of our most important scientists, look at him, hard at work. (Ross does the old "Putting a cigarette in your ear and pulling it out of your mouth trick.") Okay, moving right along. Come on.
Ross: Oh hi! Ross Geller. And this is my friend Phoebe.
Mrs. Geller: (incredulous) You dont know how that happened?! Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy!
Mr. Geller: Ohh forget it. Too hell with tradition, were happy to do it.
[Scene: The Geller household, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner. The doorbell rings.]
MRS. GELLER: It seems your daughter and Richard are something of an item.
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
[Camera pans to the Geller family table. Ross, Rachel, Mr. and Mrs. Geller are there.]
Joey: Oh, little party favours, check it out! (Its a shirt that reads, "Ross Geller, Bachelor Bash 1998")
Chandler: So, has anyone talked to Dr. and Mrs. Geller yet?
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
The Professor: Dr. Geller, Kurt Rathman, Im a professor in the paleontology department here.
Rachel: (reading) 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.'
Ross: No, no-no, Ross Geller.
Mr. Geller: (embarrassed) Judy, the kids..
Elizabeth: Professor Geller?
Rachel: Oh-oh Professor Geller.
MR. GELLER: There you go. So she dips into her savings, that's what it's there for. She's gonna be fine, and if you need a little extra, you know where to find it. [pulls a quarter from behind her ear]
Elizabeth: Professor Geller?
Elizabeth: You wanted to see me Professor Geller?
Professor Feesen: Professor Geller!
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
[Scene: Mr. Geller's party. Mr. Geller and a friend are questioning Richard while Ross observes.]
Benjamin: Certainly. Dr. Geller, which 1965 Shirelles hit was later covered by a popular British invasion band?
Mrs. Geller: Not that old crow, my mother. (They stop and she kisses Monica on the cheek.) Congratulations darling.
Elizabeth: This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.
Monica: Well Im Monica Geller, ball like a baby.
Judge: And based on the fact that Mr. Geller is intravenous drug user.
MR. GELLER: Tell you what, maybe one of these weekends you can borrow the car and I cou. . .
Mr. Geller: I remember when we first got engaged.
"Whenever I get married, guess who wont get to sing? Somebody named Geller! And somebody else named Bing!"
Mr. Geller: (ignoring her) Well, Id gotten Judy pregnant. I still dont know that happened.
Mr. Geller: We have it. Only now, we call it the beach house.
Mr. Geller: It seemed like such a simple idea.
Mrs. Geller: Stupid Jack, the word is stupid.
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Monica and Phoebe are cooking for Mrs. Gellers party.]
Mrs. Geller: You tell her Jack, I cant do it.
Mr. Geller: What?! They wanted a scary story!
Mrs. Geller: She's upstairs. Monica! Come down! Everyone's here! Ross, Rachel, and the boy who hates Thanksgiving.
Ross: Im a professor here uh, Ross Geller.
Monica: Anyway, Ross and I were always captains, and um, it got kindve competitive and one year, Geller Bowl VI, I accidentally broke Rosss nose.
Mr. Geller: Which means you had seven years of beach fun and you cant put a price on that sweetie.
Mr. Geller: And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know Im looking for her.
Mr. Geller: Happy birthday, sweetie! Give us a hug! (Starts to get up.)
Mrs. Geller: Were sorry honey, but we just assumed if you got married after you turned 30 youd pay for it yourself.
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Mr. Geller: Im here!
Mr. Geller: Hi. God, it seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work.
[Scene: Ross and Monicas parents garage, Ross and Monica are arriving to go through their things. Mr. Geller is in the garage.]
Mr. Geller: Im sorry we cant store your childhood things anymore.
Mr. Geller: We started saving again when you were dating Richard and then that went to hell, so we redid the kitchen.
Mr. Geller: Well, shell understand right? Its not like I did it on purpose.
Mr. Geller: Really?
Mr. Geller: Great!
Mr. Geller: Oh my God, does she really thinks that?
Mr. Geller: (overacting) Thats a good one! Do you hear that Ross? Three days!
Mr. Geller: Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove.
Mr. Geller: (entering) How are you honey?
Mr. Geller: (To Monica) Why dont we take it for a spin?
Mr. Geller: Well, the white seems to be untouched. (He throws it back into the box as Mr. Geller moves a tarp and makes a discovery.) Uh-oh.
Mr. Geller: So, I think youre boxes are over here. (They walk over to them.)
Mr. Geller: So its just your mother then.
Mr. Geller: Oh look, look theres your old makeup kit!
Mr. Geller: Sure!
Mr. Geller: (grabbing a glove) This couldve been hers!
Mr. Geller: Im afraid so.
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Screw it! Im having one. (Takes out and lights a cigarette.)
Mr. Geller: Its the key to my Porsche. Well, the key to your Porsche.
Mrs. Geller: (To Chandler) Youve done a wonderful job with this party Chandler. Everything looks so lovely.
Mr. Geller: Crap.
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
MR. GELLER: You're the twinkie?
Mrs. Geller: Oh-ho, I think its nice.
Mr. Geller: You dont secretly smoke do you?
(Joey walks away and Mr. and Mrs. Geller walk up. Mr. Geller is wearing this ancient velvet tuxedo.)
Mr. Geller: Well, its time for a new family to start their memories here and hopefully their check will clear before they find the crack in the foundation and the asbestos in the ceiling.
Mrs. Geller: Speech! Come on Monica!
Mr. Geller: No. Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business. I wasn't around that much. Is that what this is about?
Lewis: Professor Geller?
[Cut to Mr. and Mrs. Geller talking to Ross.]
Mrs. Geller: (shaking her hand) Its lovely to meet you.
Mrs. Geller: You could kick anyones ass you want too.
Mr. Geller: Doctor Ross Geller.
Mrs. Geller: Jack!
Mr. Geller: What?! Ive never seen one before!
(Mr. and Mrs. Geller start to walk away.)
Mr. Geller: of course you can kick his ass son.
Mrs. Geller: Here comes the bride.
MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
(Rachel and Mrs. Geller enter.)
Mrs. Geller: Yeah, the list thatof people were allowed to sleep
Mr. Geller: Your mother just added him to her list.