words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is playing that string game with the two hands and the weird crossing patterns as Chandler enters with the mail.]
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
Ross: (British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression
(They shake hands and their lines overlap.)
Monica and Ross: (holding both of their hands above their heads making rabbit ears with their fingers.) Bunny!
Monica's Boyfriend: (returning) Here we go, one Hazelnut Latte. (Hands it to Monica and sits down.)
(Dr. Geller, the man with the Ph.D. in Paleontology, is trying to find a place to hide, but this supposedly intelligent man in the hands of clich�d scriptwriters runs around with his pants down around his ankles like one of the Three Stooges.)
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
Cecilia: That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like (She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)
Rachel: Well, I don't get it, but she wanted me to give you her phone number. (Hands him the slip of paper with the phone number on it.)
Joey: Yeah? Well, I dont want to talk to you Wayne! I hate you! You ruined my life! Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler. (They shake hands.)
Phoebe: Okay, what about after I give you these candies? (Hands them each one from her purse.)
Phoebe: Oh! Oop! (Hands him back the ring.)
Phoebe: Oh, hi. (They shake hands.)
Joey: Im Joey. (They shake hands.)
(She takes it out of her mouth and hands it to him as Monica returns from her room and this time forcing Chandler to put the ring in his mouth.)
Joey: Well, hes not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with himHe says its okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks! Bye-bye!
(Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him.)
Chandler: Tickets please! (Rachel hands over the tickets) Thats courtside baby!
Rachel: Uh-hmm, uh-hmm, yeah, yeah, I really liked your hands.
Ross: My hands?
Chandler: (putting his hands up) Take whatever you want, just please dont hurt me.
Ross: Got me. (He shows of his hands.)
Ross: Emily? Emily! Oh my God! Oh my God, it's Emily! (He picks up a lamp and hands it to Chandler, for no reason.) It's Emily everyone! Shush-shush-shhst! (to Emily) Hi!
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Joey: And, a brownie! (Hands her a bag with the brownie in it.) Well, half a brownie. Actually, its just bag. Its been a long walk from the flower shop and I was startin to feel faint so
Joey: All right, I have one question. What is the deal with this? (Imitates Ross's 'quiet down' maneuver, but does move his hands up and down he just flaps his hands as if he's waving good-bye.)
ERICA: No, seriously. These hands. These miracle, magical, life-giving hands. Oh, just to be near them, touch them, maybe even lick one?
Chandler: Who walks into a room and asks to see a persons hands?!
[Scene: The playground. Ross, Rachel and Emma are still there. Rachel comes walking to Ross and Emma with something between her hands.]
Rachel: (hands him one) Here you go.
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Hold on please. Joey, its your mom. (Hands him the phone.)
Chandler: (motioning with his hands) Im not worried, Im uh, Im fascinated. Yknow its like uh, Biology! Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me. (Exits as Phoebe enters from her room with her guitar.)
Rachel: Hi! (He hands her, her mail) Thanks, hey so uh whatd you do last night?
Rachel: Yeah, sure. Umm here. (Hands him one.)
(He hands Joey the bag and he quickly counts its contents.)
Phoebe: Wash your hands!!!
(Charlie and Benji both let their hands slide down Ross's face, until their hands meet, and they hold hands.)
Phoebe: I know. Hand me a tissue. (Monica hands her one.)
Monica: I'll get it. (On phone.) Hello. (Listens.) Hi Emily! (Listens.) Yeah, uh you-you tracked him down. Hold on one second. (She hands the phone to Ross.)
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
Joey: This is impossible Monica, why dont you just pick all 15? (Hands back the paper.)
Monica: Well, theyre just gonna have to wait arent they? Ive only got two hands!!
Monica: Look at this. (Hands him the newspaper.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is entering without touching anything with his hands. Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Monica: Ohh! Ohhhh! Were you sleeping sweetie? Im sorry. Here. (Hands the mug of milk to him.)
Phoebe: Well, Ill tell you Rachel Karen Green, I had plans with Joey tonight and he left me this note. (Hands it to Rachel.)
Chandler: Okay! (Stands up) This is it! (Claps his hands) We're gonna get married!
Ross: Hi. (They shake hands.) Its nice to meet you. I used to have a friend named Joey. I dont anymore.
(Ross smiles and holds up his hand for a high-five, but he has forgotten about his burnt hands. He gasps in pain as Joey grabs his hand.)
Phoebe: Happy thirtieth birthday! Here! (Hands her the hippity-hop.) Its for the child in you, and the woman. Happy thirtieth!
[Scene: Earls Office, Earl has his head in his hands as Phoebe enters.]
Cecilia: Oh yeah-yeah, we should get the (Pause) So when Jessica kisses a man, she usually puts umm, both her hands on the mans face. (She does so.)
Joey: Yeah! Okay. (He puts his hands on her face and they kiss.)
(They kiss and both put their hands on the others face like Jessica would do.)
Joey: Uh listen, heres your Soapie. I accepted it for ya. (Hands it to her.)
Phoebe: Oh thatd be me. Sir. (Hands him the cell phone.) After you.
Joey: Arg... Alright, I'll take care of it. <throws hands out in the air>
Phoebe: (walking up) Whats up? (Rachel hands her the note and she reads it.) Tell Monica Im sorry. (Pause) Tell her yourself!
Joey: I dont know. Just uh, just tell em it was a mix-up with the invitations, orNo-no-no! Blame it on the post office. They hate the post office. And the Irish! But I dont think you can blame it on them so (He dials the phone and hands it to Monica.)
Phoebe: Okay. All right. (Hands her the phone.) Good luck explaining all the calls to China.
Joey: Joey. (They shake hands.) Hey Jake, do you like the Knicks?
(Phoebe reaches into the trash can, pulls one out, and hands it to Rachel.)
Chandler: Ross-Joey, Joey-Ross. (they shake hands)
Ross: I think Chandlers gone. (He hands her the note.)
The Woman Dealer: I don't know about the hands, but the guy that was here before me just went to the bathroom.
Amy: Oh, I can’t, honey. I’m gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. (points at her eyebrows) I am not happy. (to Joey who has a pizza box in his hands) Oh... sure you wanna eat that?
Joanna: Just a little gag gift somebody gave me. (Shes holding a pair of handcuffs) Put your hands together.
Joey: Pheebs! Check it out! Check it out! Check it out! Check it out! (Hands her one.)
(Chandler runs around behind Ross, who pitches him the ball. Chandler runs upfield, and Joey knocks the ball out of his hands.)
Wendy: Huh? Really? -- Hm, that'd be so terrible? (She gets hold of Chandler's tie, slowly moving her hands upwards on the tie, getting closer and closer to him, seductive.)
Rachel: Oh please. Okay, anyone in this room think that I would send Ross begging symbols, please show of hands. (Ross raises his hand and no one else.)
Joey: Okay. (Hands her one.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his massage client is on the table and Ross is reluctantly starting his massage. He spreads some lotion in his hands, and doesnt like it.]
Chandler: Joey got meat sauce on the banister again! (He goes into the bathroom to wash his hands.)
Mr. Geller: (filming this) Hey Chandler, you cant keep your hands off her for one second!
Rachel: Nice to meet you. (They shake hands.)
Phoebe: Okay. (Hands him a napkin.) So, what are you?
Cecilia: No! Its because that way the camera only sees her! (She takes her hands off his face.) Do you wanna try it?
Phoebe: Regina Philange. (Ken and Regina shake hands.)
(Phoebe hands Eric Ursulas purse and he walks away.)
Eric: No wait! Theres only a problem when I look at you. (Sits down on the couch.) Oh I got it! I got it. (Puts his hands to his eyes.)
Rachel: Well you couldve untied it with your hands.
Phoebe: Yeah, you should. (They shake hands.)
(Rachel waves her hands in disgust and starts to head for her room.)
Monica: Wow! Look at this! (Picking up a shirt.) I cant believe I even fit into this shirt! (She holds it up and it reads: Tyrannosaurus Ross.) (She turns it around and looks at it.) Oh, this is yours. (Hands it to Ross.)
Monica: Careful. <hands Chandler a china plate> Careful. CAREFUL!
Phoebe: Oh, I almost dont want to show this. (Hands it to him.) Just remember Im a minute younger.
Joey: No, Im picking you up for our date. These are for you. (Hands her some flowers.)
Monica: (to the restuarant customers) Excuse me, excuse me, hi, I'm Monica Geller..I'm the head chef here.. (pauses as if waiting for something).. Ok, I was actually expecting a little applause there, but whatever! Ok, quick question: by a show of hands, how many of you were bothered by this woman's singing outside? (a few people raise their hands)
[Scene: The Men's room, Joey is entering and sees his hand twin washing his hands.]
Phoebe: Umm, Im a masseuse by day. (Stands with her hands on her hips like a Supergirl pose.)
Phoebe: Well, I think my mother was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats. (Ross hands her one) Thank you! So what, youre just never going to tell her?
Joey: Uh, okay Ill-Ill-Ill break it down. (He hands the phone to Phoebe, gets up, picks up a chair, and starts banging it on the floor.)
Joey: Oh yeah, it must be tough to keep your hands of him, huh?
Mona: No, its still wet. Yknow what? Let me get it out before it sets. Ooh, I have something you can wear. Here. (Hands him Rosss shirt.)
Monica: Spoon? (Hands him one and he tastes it.) So, what do you think?
Joey: Oh great! Great! Thank you. (They shake hands.)
Uncle Dan: Heres a little something to get you started. (Hands them a check)
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Phoebe: Hands.
Amy with confused look on face: Yeah I.. I think so. <sticks her hand out to shake hands with Phoebe and says to her> It's nice to meet you Emma.
Joey: Hands! It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. Hes a patient of mine, Ive been treating him for years!