words in movies
MR. GELLER: Gosh, we talked about that but your brother has so many science trophies and plaques and merit badges, well we didn't want to disturb them.
CHANDLER: What? [realizes it was the bracelet] Oh this is excellent. You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller, the eyesore from the Liberace house of crap.
ROSS: Would you look at that guy, I mean how long has he been talking to her. It's like, back off buddy she's a waitress not a geisha.
MR. GELLER: You know, that Steffi Graf has quite a tush. I'm just saying, it's right there.
ROSS: C'mon Monica, do it. Hey, you guys, um, Monica has some news.
MR. GELLER: [going downstairs] Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shining. . . oh no. [Chip has shown up and the four are leaving]
[Scene: Monicas Restaurant Kitchen, Monica is cooking as a waitress enters carrying a plate of food that has been sent back.]
Phoebe: Yes, yes I do. God, oh its just perfect! Wow! I bet it has a great story behind it too. Did they tell you anything? Like yknow where it was from or
Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel enters and notices that Joey has set up a space for the baby where the couch was, complete with a crib.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica has hit a writers block as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Phoebe: Um-hmm. Oh wait! This is Bonnie. (who has hair by the way)
[Scene: Stings Apartment, Phoebe has come to talk about Jack and is waiting for Stings wife, Trudie Styler, to enter.]
Ross: Because whats going on with Rachel has nothing to do with how I feel about you.
Joey: Oh, you are the best friends anyone has ever had.
Joey: Yeah, its this great part, this boxer named Nick. And Im so, so right for it, y'know, hes just like me. Except hes a boxer, and has an evil twin.
Chandler: The most unbelievable thing has happened. Underdog has just gotten away.
Ross: I do-I do not have a boyfriend. Theres a guy in one of my classes who-who has a crush on me.
Angela: Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob...
[Scene: The fancy restaurant, Angela has her hand in Bob's shirt, and Monica is very uncomfortable.]
Ross: (Watching Marcel play with Phoebe. To Chandler) Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me, but at least check in.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone has just finished Thanksgiving dinner and are groaning over their fullness.]
Joey: Oh yeah? Then how come I keep(He notices that the marker board they use has been left on the entertainment center and holds up his discovery.)
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's bedroom, Chandler has his eyes closed, while Monica is fully awake.]
Monica: Well, now she has no eyebrows, mission accomplished.
Phoebe: No Im not okay. The only guy Ive ever been crazy about has gone to Minsk and I may never I may never see him again. (Crying.)
Phoebe: Well, why did you make like a whole big thing out of y'know, everyone has to hang out in the big apartment?
Rachel: I don't know... maybe it's because she has got such callousy fingers from playing crummy guitar...
Phoebe: Oh, its like huge weight has been lifted! Cause look, (reads the side affects) no hair loss, not a rash, no hives, Im just so happy! Because no shortness of breath, no temporary euphoriaOh.
Chandler: Now sweetie, I know you dont like my office parties, but you can wear your new boots. See? Every cloud has a supple leather lining.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing? You promised Phoebe you wouldnt eat meat until she has the babies!
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, the odds are against us, but somebody has to win, and it could be us! And then how you gonna feel? You know, we're gonna be all like "oh everybody, let's take our helicopters up to the cape" and you're gonna be all like "oh, I can't guys, I'll meet you guys up there, I gotta gas up the Hyundai"
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandlers bachelor party has begun, what there is of it, with only Joey (wearing a gold paper top hat) and Chandler (wearing what appears to be a Burger King paper crown) enjoying a nice product placement of Budweisers on ice.]
Ross: Well, maybe the crazy fog has lifted and she realises that life without me.... a-sucks.
VAN DAMME: 'Cause Rachel told me uh, you were dying to have a threesome with me and uh, Drew Barrymore. By the way, Drew has some groundrules and...
[Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]
(The scene on TV has changed to show two women, one is holding her hair.)
Mona: Ross, we we have to be strong. Okay, I-Im gonna go. (She picks up the shirt Ross has just set down.) Can I? To remember you?
Phoebe: uh huh (terns to Ross) how do I look (all her make up has gone everywhere)
(Chandler tries to shrug nonchalantly but eventually he has to exhale a mouthful of smoke.)
[Another group of flashbacks begin with Episode 513: The One With Joeys Bag. Joey is carrying the bag and has entered Central Perk to the amusement of Ross and Chandler.]
Marsha: Well, she has issues.
Rachel: Has anybody seen my engagement ring?
Lizzie: What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there's really money in here.
(Joey hugs Rosss neck and has a look of complete contentment on his face which, after a short while, causes David and Matt to start laughing.)
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the scoreboard. Someone has a special question to ask.
Monica: (pauses then on the phone) Uh- Rachel has left the building, can you call back?
Ross: I just grabbed a spoon. (Ross exits and Monica has no idea what that means.)
Joey: Check this out? Huh? (Joey has this big tall hat with a British flag on the front of it.) Yeah. Thats the stuff. What do you think?
[Scene: Ross and Emilys room, the next morning. Ross is now asleep and has his head in Monicas lap and his feet on Chandlers lap. Monica and Chandler are both still awake and depressed.]
Joey: Oh, ah- the kid has it.
SUSIE: I can't do Chris's makeup. She refuses to acknowledge that she has a moustasche.
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Ross: Well, her thought is, and I agree, fresh new furniture, why not a fresh new apartment? Her cousin has this great place to sublet, it's got a view of the river on one side and Columbia on the other.
Jill: Well, this has been fun.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is kneeling at the coffee table and has a bunch of pictures laid out in front of her as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Rachel has gone off on her own to look for the cat's owner.]
Monica: Noo!! Its driving me crazy. I mean every other way hes like the perfect guy, he has everything. Plus! He actually has everything.
Joey: You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time has passed. The five are sitting around the coffee table talking.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the party has started.]
Ross: Hi, um, Im err, (has to clear his throat) Im Ross Geller, and err ah... (pats Carols bulge) ..thats, thats my boy in there, and uh, (points) this is Carol Willick, and this... is Susan Bunch. Susan is um Carols, just, com... (embarrassment finally overwhelms the poor fellow, who becomes incoherent until) ..whos next?
Phoebe: It's nice that he has someone.
Rachel: (she reaches for the bottle) Oww! (She grabs the bottle, but has trouble opening it. She pops the top off and aspirins fly all over the place as Ross enters.)
Joey: I know! I know! It turns out that one of the casting ladies has actually seen me in a play, so I steered clear of her
Ross: No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok? And you know what the funny thing is? When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me?
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Chandler: You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller! The eyesore from the Liberace house of crap!
Rachel: (makes some unintelligible sound to stop her from leaving) Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! (Covers her eyes) Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! (Uncovers her eyes and sees that the woman has fled) Damnit! (To the cat) Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! (The cat hisses at her again, it sounds like Rachel) Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?
[Flashback to Monica and Chandlers apartment. Chandler has a bunch of people over in formal wear to give Monica a surprise birthday party. Joey is coming out of the bathroom and removing his tie.]
Emily: Ross, are you there? Ross, I dont know if you can hear this but (Ross has moved to the window, apparently so that he can hear better.) Im gonna talk anyway, uh, Im in the States with you sister and your friends and its all over with Colin. I came here to tell you that, and to tell youYes, Joey you can have all the chocolate you want, just take it! Uh, I came here to tell you that I love you.
(Rachel enters, she has changed once again. This time into her high school cheerleading uniform.)
Mrs. Tribbiani: Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby.
(They all laugh and Joey joins them, not to be left out. When the laughing dies down, he has a depressed look on his face.)
[The next one is from Episode 613: The One With Rachels Sister, Chandler has just opened the door to reveal a woman standing there.]
(There is a loud knocking at the door through which Joey has just entered.)
Monica: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.
[Scene: The Hallway, Joey has a tray full of keys, and is trying each one in the lock.]
Rachel: How would you like to sit in a chair that fully reclines, has a rolling massage, and speakers in the head rest?
Rachel: C'mon Daddy, listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Monica: But, you see, it's just... this night has to go just perfect, you know? And, well, Wendy's more of a... professional waitress.
Phoebe: Will he know what this is in reference to? (Listens) And he has your number? (Listens) All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye.
Chandler: Okay before we start the celebration, Monica has to go put on her party dress.
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
Chandler: Whoa! And this manchild has no problem with how old you are?
Rachel: Ooooh, that's fine. We'll see who has the last laugh there, monkey boy.
Monica: And it has to go perfectly, because if she doesn't like something about us she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
Joey: Check it out, Giants-Cowboys. (He has a pocket TV)
Joey: Priesthood! Look Ross, I'm telling you, she has no idea what you're thinking. If you don't ask her out soon you're going to end up stuck in the zone forever.
Amanda: (noticing the bottle of wine he has) Oh, I don't mean to be a square, but I'd really appreciate it if you wait and drink your wine after the kids are asleep? Oh uh, thanks for this, I hope I can do the same for you sometime. (She leaves)
(Meanwhile, Rachel has taken another call, from a nurse she'd hoped never to hear from again.)
Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?
JOEY: 'Cause he has a strong suspicion that you dropped the ball on the Lender project.
MONICA: What about the part where he has rabies?
PHOEBE: He doesn't have rabies, he has babies. That's what my mom said.
Phoebe: Oh, this is so intense. One side of my butt is totally asleep, and the other side has no idea.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, theyre both unpacked. The big ceramic dog has found a new home in front of the window. Joey screams and runs into the living room.]
Chandler: Yes, and while I'm doing that, Ross has a great computer story for you.
Ross: Except we're not. I mean, we haven't been a couple in like, six years. Oh my god, is that right? Has it been that long?
Ross: Oh absolutely! It has been in my family for generations, and every bride who has worn it has had a long and happy life.
[Cut to the balcony, Ross has just climbed through the window.]
MONICA: Your boyfriend has been in there for over an hour. I can't believe it, it's like I'm living with him again. He's here when I go to sleep, he's here when I wake up, he's here when I want to use the shower, ughh. It's like I'm sixteen all over again .
PHOEBE: Yeah, but, ah, ah, nothing has to happen.� We're just having fun.� You know, not everything had to go as far as "eye-contact."
[Time lapse, dinner has finished and Chandler is sitting on the couch eating some pie. Monica sits down beside him, and he gets pushed up a little by the wave she makes in the couch.]
Ross: No, but come on, were off to a great start arent we? I knew Id get you here fast, but this has got to be some kind of a record!
(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)