words in movies
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'. (to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
Ross: (in a deep voice) I'll have whatever Christine is having.
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Ross: (squatting and reading the instructions) I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.
Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.
Chandler: I have no idea.
Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.
Paul: I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?
Rachel: Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Rachel: Isn't this amazing? I mean, I have never made coffee before in my entire life.
Rachel: So, like, you guys all have jobs?
Monica: Yeah, we all have jobs. See, that's how we buy stuff.
Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?
Monica: Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
Rachel: No, you have it, really, I don't want it-
All: Yeah. Yeah, I'll have a cup of coffee.
Chandler: Do we have to make the entire thing?
Monica: Ohh, I've always wanted to go to this culinary fair that they have in Jersey!
Ross: Look, all I know is I-I cant have another failed marriage!
Monica: Its harder for me! I have those four other women to compete with!
Chandler: You have done enough!
Chandler: Well, its like that old saying, have some sex, eat some cake.
Ross: Why dont you come, I mean, I-I have two tickets, why not?
Ross: Its not something you are! Its something you have!
Ross: Oh, wait! Wait! Dont you have an audition today? Yeah! Maybe youll get that job!
Monica: Maybe Joey doesnt have to give you the money, TV stars have assistants right?
Phoebe: Okay then I dont have a choice! I have to buy that lamp!
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
Phoebe: No, Joey! You borrowed my cab; you have to drive it back.
Richard: Just your dad. (pause) Although thats actually racquetball. You know I-I do have a blind date with my sisters neighbour next Tuesday.
Joey: Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)
Joey: Did you tell the guy you wanted to have sex with his wife and then fall right out of your chair?
Ross: Hey does anyone have any gum?
Fireman #1: So uh, youre not gonna be able to live here for a while, you ladies have a place to stay?
Rachel: I have.
Monica: Well, Id like to but, (extremely quietly) Im not sure we have time to go.
Monica: Ugh, I can not believe this! I mean, who is she to judge us? We could not have been nicer to her!
Chandler: Well uh, Archie needs money to fix his jalopy (Joey laughs), uh but he doesnt want Reggie to just give him the money. So Reggie hires him as his assistas his butler. And then makes him do all these crazy things like bring him milkshakes that cant have lumps in them.
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Tall Guy: Hey, pal, you have about three seconds to get away from my partner.
JOEY: What? I have seven Catholic sisters. I've taken care of hundreds of kids. Come on, we wanna do it, don't we?
ROSS: Well because I have to work on Monday, I have a big presentation.
MR. GREENE: I have to be heading to my chateau, thank you.
Gate attendant #1: Madame, if you don't have your boarding pass...
Ross: Oh, you have some studying to do?
Elizabeth: No, I have some turning 21 to do.
Phoebe: I have to tie my shoe, so you go ahead, I'll catch up.
Monica: We have got to wash that! (Referring to the sock bunny.)
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Okay, you have to switch with me! Monica is driving me crazy!
JOEY: It just seems so futile, you know ? All these women, and nothing. I feel like Superman without my powers, you know? I have the cape, and yet I cannot fly.
Phoebe: Have you seen your guys body?
Rachel: Okay. Okay. (They sit down.) I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it?
Monica: Yeah Joey shes Rachels got this really big work problem, and it is a head scratcher. Wow! (To Chandler) Yknow what, if were gonna make dinner were gonna have to leave. Yeah. (She and Chandler exit.)
Tim: I was gonna have Thanksgiving at my girlfriends.
Sebastian: Look, I just wanted to have coffee with Rachel.
Phoebe: Nothing, you just have to be cool with it.
CHANDLER: Hey look, are we gonna have to bring this out every time Ross comes over?
Joey: Well, with Dr. Drake they always tell me what to say. And with Joey, I pretty much have to make it up on my own.
Phoebe: Oh! Okay! Yeah, thats okay. (To Patrick) Have a seat. (Sits Patrick down next to Rachel.)
All: (Chandler stops her) No-no-no-no! Have a seat! Have a seat!
Ross: So uh, have a great time down there.
Rachel: Hey! Have you guys seen Jill? I cant find her anywhere.
Rachel: No, its not gonna be okay Ross, tomorrow is my last day, and I dont have a lead. Okay, y'know what, Im just gonna, Im just gonna call Gunther and Im gonna tell him, Im not quitting.
Ross: Yeah, none of us have to deal with pressure at our jobs.
Rachel: Thanks for lunch, Chandler. Y'know, you didnt have to walk me all the way back up here.
Dr. Roger: They have parasites?
Chandler: Youre right, I have no excuses! I was totally over the line.
Rachel: I don't know. It's so complicated. I work with this guy, you know, I have the baby, and I have Ross, and I just...I don'tknow what to do and I have to be at the office and see Gavin in ten minutes.
Rachel: Im sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Yknow, you fight, you make up, its just the way it works.
Chandler: Yknow what? I-I kinda have.
Monica: Yeah but see I have nothing to compare it too. So even if youre horrible, how would I know?
Elizabeth: Yeah, we have time off and a lot of people are going on trips
Joey: Wow! (Back to reading the scene.) Well then Ill just have to carry you.
Ross: Thank you! And I have to say that first scene when you meet Mac
Chandler: No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married."
Ross: All right, you know that one was coming, but that doesnt mean you have unagi. (Does the finger thing.)
Paul: Oh, you dont have to do that every time.
Ross: Okay, so on our no-date evening, three of you now have dates.
Joey: (Checks to see if shes drooling on his shirt.) Okay. Okay, okay, hey. (Lays her down and covers her with a blanket.) There we go, lets get your feet up there. (Looks at her) Good night, Kate. Sweet dreams. (Picks up a garbage can) Im gonna put this can right here in case you have to hurl.
Monica: I dont know. (Picks up a big plate from the coffee table.) Hey, Rachel, you want the big plate? I want you to have the big plate.
Ross: Well I have to. Okay? If I dont, theyll take the class away from me. And I already put it in my family newsletter.
Mike: Phoebe you don't have to eat...
Joey: Thanks, but I kinda have a problem to deal with here.
Rachel: Ross-Ross, you have no idea what this means to me! I mean, I mean I was gonna be homeless. You just saved me! Youre my hero!
Paul: You have a son?
Phoebe: I don't even have a 'pl'.
Ross: Thanks? But I have plans; Elizabeth and I are going out of town.
Joey: Ross, you dont have to yell.
Joey: Am I psyched? The lead in my own TV series? Ive dreamed about this for years! Why have I not been preparing?!
Monica: Okay, Rachel, do you have any idea how painful it is to tell someone that you love them and not have them say it back?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
Joey: Sure! As long as they dont find out you can keep whatever you want! And I want you to have it.
Phoebe: I dont know, I dont have anyone right now. Yknow?
Paul: Ill call the university and tell them about your relationship and have you fired.
Russell: Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never had I so much business from one client. Why dont you tell me what happened.
Chandler: Well, I suppose Id have to say you!! But, what if were watching a movie in here?
Phoebe: Yknow, birds have a very good sense of direction, and I thought maybe they could help us find where the presents are hidden.
Monica: Have you found your dress yet?
Monica: Have you seen Chandler?!
Chandler: I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! Im right. I'm right. Am I right?
Rachel: Right. So, what you have to do is, you have to accidentally run into her on purpose. And then act aloof.
Paul: Ross. You and I are going to have to have a little talk.
Rachel: Hey, Chandler, don't freak out! I'm telling you something you already know! Come on, she broke up with Richard because he didn't want to have babies. And she's a woman, and she's almost 30, and y'know it's Monica.
Phoebe: Now, have you told anyone else?
Monica: No fair. I don't even have one. How come they get two?
Ross: (standing) Ok, gentlemen! Please! Aren't we a little old for this? I mean, we're scientists, right? We're academics. And most importantly I... you-you will have to catch us first. (he starts to run away with Charlie). GO, GO, GO! (the paleontologists starts chasing them)
Monica: Well, if you had kept listening, you-you would have heard me call him Mr. Big (Thinks) ot.
Ross: Are you sure shes in the cat, or have you been taking your grandmas glycoma medicine again?
Phoebe: Okay. (To the jeweler) Listen, Im sorry about before. Do you have anything her for $10.
Monica: Well, if you hadn't meddled to start with, I wouldn't have had to go in there and meddle myself. Now, no matter how much we meddle, we will never be able to un-meddle the thing that you meddled up - in the first place!
Monica: Have you even had a girl up here?
Monica: Oh, we have some
Gary: Sweethart, but none of that matters if it's too soon for you. It's fine! We don't have to move in together. I justI want you to be happy
Joey: Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Paul: Hey! I have so much more to tell ya, Ive written it all down!
Monica: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.