words in movies
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'. (to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
Ross: (in a deep voice) I'll have whatever Christine is having.
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Ross: (squatting and reading the instructions) I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.
Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.
Chandler: I have no idea.
Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.
Paul: I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?
Rachel: Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Rachel: Isn't this amazing? I mean, I have never made coffee before in my entire life.
Rachel: So, like, you guys all have jobs?
Monica: Yeah, we all have jobs. See, that's how we buy stuff.
Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?
Monica: Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
Rachel: No, you have it, really, I don't want it-
All: Yeah. Yeah, I'll have a cup of coffee.
Joey: I dont have a key, they took mine to give to you.
Joey: Yeah, I have stuff in there too.
Chandler: Okay, but don't touch it, because you fingers have destructive oils.
Phoebe: Oh! We could have done that.
Monica: Me neither! We have to get in! (She runs through the door with Chandler in tow.)
Lauren: Ive been waiting up all night for ya. Where have you been? (Joey doesnt answer) Where have you been? Vic?!
Chandler: So you dont have the cameras?!
Ross: Oh well I may as well have!
Ross: You know what, its, its better this way anyway. I mean I dont know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. Its just much easier if were just friends who have a kid.
Ross: When have you ever?
Monica: (giggles) Of course I have! What do you think, Im some 30 year old virgin?
Monica: Okay? (To a different group) Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know its gonna shrink.
Monica: That you can have.
Phoebe: You have got to be kidding me!
Rachel: Oh! Look! I have a sonogram picture!
Ross: I can show you, I have it on videotape! (Stunned silence) Its an expression.
Rachel: God. I forgot how much I love driving. I have got to get my license renewed.
Joey: All right! Ill have a sandwich!
Monica: Yeah, well you call her and tell her that yknow when we were kids her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? And if I hadnt have stopped her, there probably wouldnt even be a wedding to go too.
Ross: Do you have a minute? Id like to talk to you about something Im, Im really uncomfortable talking about.
Joey: Have a nice six more months Ross! (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Okay. Now youre gonna want to have sex with me when you hear it, but you have to remember it is just the story.
Ross: Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know Ill help you out.
Rachel: Thank God youre here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself?
Monica: Yknow, I dont have an appointment, but I sure could use a physical. (He laughs halfheartedly) Are you sure youre okay?
Joey: Look, I told ya, Im not going to any clinic! I dont have a problem, youre the one with the problem! You should go to a "Quit being a baby and leave me alone" clinic!
Phoebe: Okay fine! Fine! Well just have to think of some other way to put the whole Who came onto who, thing to rest! Come on now, think!!
Rachel: (on tape) Oh, thank God youre here! You have to help me! Were you just talking to yourself?
Chandler: Thats the magic story you use when you wanna have sex!
Ross: I have been working out.
Rachel: Have to make it stop!!
Rachel: Have you been working out?
Ross: Five years?! Chandler you have to tell him!
Joey: Im not telling, youll have to see it on TV!
Monica: I I have to fire him.
Monica: I paid to have this done.
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
Ross: Okay. Have a great time you guys.
Chandler: Then you're gonna have to watch it for me.
Ross: I just I have to find out how it went.
Joey: Thats a nice picture. Maybe you can still have that!
Joey: Hey, I tell you what. Lets you and me go out and have some fun. Huh? Whatever you want. Come on!
Monica: You have to!
Monica: I know its last minute, but we decided to have a Halloween party.
Ross: Hi. (They shake hands.) Its nice to meet you. I used to have a friend named Joey. I dont anymore.
Phoebe: Speaking of Christmas, umm since Monica and I are starting a new business and have like no money, umm, this year maybe we could do secret Santa, and then we each only buy one gift. And-and theres the added mystery of who gets who.
Phoebe: Thats like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that!
Monica: No!! You have been screwing us all day!
Chandler: When have I ever done that?!
Chandler: Wow! I dont have the worst costume anymore!
ROSS: Question. Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
Monica: I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.
Boy in the Cape: Id rather have the money.
Phoebe: Yeah! It really has been great too, you know, some of this people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs! Yeah, "You suck" and "shut up and go home".
Ross: Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency.
Rachel: Wait, but theres no money! Well this is terrible! You guys are gonna have to get married in like a, rec. center!
Eric: Oh, I have a friend whos a cop and he got it for me.
Rachel: Oh my God! Was she old? Does she have a view?
Joey: Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.
Monica: I have been looking for them all week and she is wearing them!
Ross: Okay I-I just have to stop by my place first.
Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. Theres no room for a baby here.
Joey: I love living with you so much. I just wish things didnt have to change.
Ross: And that's why, no matter what mommy says, we really were on a break. (baby talk) Yes we were! Yes we were! (picks Emma up) Come here gorgeous. (puts her on his knees and talks to her) Oh! Look at you! You are the cutest little baby ever! You're just a... a little bitty baby, you know that? But you've got... (in a softer voice) You've got big beautiful eyes... Yes you do... and a... and a big round belly. (emphasises the B's) Big baby butt! I like big butts. (raps) I like big butts and I cannot lie / you other brothers can't deny / when a girl walks in with an itty, bitty, waist / and a round thing in your face you get...(Emma laughs) Oh my God, Emma... you're laughing! Oh my God, you've never done that before, have you? You never done that before... Daddy made you laugh, huh? Well, daddy and Sir Mix Alot... What? What? You... you wanna hear some more? Uhm...(raps) My anaconda don't want none / unless you got buns hon... (Emma laughs again and Ross looks worried) I'm a terrible father!
Phoebe: We didnt have sex.
Chandler: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
Ross: No! But we-we didnt have sex-uh, did we? I mean, I dont remember much about last night, it was such a blur.
Ross: No-no, I-I have to see if this apartment became available.
Dr. Green: I have no idea, I went to the bathroom. So sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is uh, what is new with you.
Richard: No, we still have food in the basement! I saw potatoes and some dry pasta!
Zack: Ok listen, you guys have shown a lot of interest in me tonight and I'm flattered and... and quite frankly a little frightened. Can we just talk about something else?
Mona: How could you have kept all of this from me?
Monica: And then were gonna have a little Middle Eastern cous-cous. Something we can eat, with our hands.
Phoebe: How could it not be? I mean pretty soon theyre gonna be having kids, and then theyre just gonna be hanging out with other couples who have kids. And then maybe theyre gonna have to leave the city to be near a Volvo dealership.
Kim: Hi Rachel. Ohh, Ive been meaning to ask you. Have you seen the new Ralph Lauren sheets? Ohh, what am I thinking. Of course you have.
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Joey: I bet we could get videos of all the sites, get a VCR in our hotel room... we'd never even have to go outside!
Monica: Okay well, then well both do it today and hell just have to deal with it!
Ross: Can I ask you something? Have you ever had a guy have a crush on you?
Gunther: He can have his job back.
Chandler: Yeah! Im just pretending to watch the game so I dont have to help out with stuff.
Chandler: I have no idea.
MNCA: Oh, not at all. I have no morals and I need the cash.
Chandler: Yeah. Do we have any Fruit Roll-Ups?
Monica: Youre just new at this, itll get better, think about your first day at work. I mean, that couldnt have been easy but you figured that out.
Will: Then why did it have the word eternity in it?
Monica: Joey, you dont have to finish that.
Chandler: I'd like to propose a toast. Little toast here, ding ding. I know this isn't the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Chandler: I have you.
Chandler: Yeah well, too bad were gonna have to return them.
Monica: (interrupting) The days and nights are hard! I get it! Okay? Look umm, Rachel Im sorry! I have to start getting ready! Im getting married today!
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
3rd Customer: Actually I do have one small complaint.
Monica: (normal voice) Oh, you can have an accent and I cant?! (To an exiting student in accent.) Top O the morning to ya laddies!
Monica: Honey, we dont really have to go to this thing tonight do we?
Joey: Let me explain to you how the human body works. I have to warm my stomach first. Eatin chips is like stretching.
Mike: Keep in mind, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (to Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Chandler: Oh, yeah. (Starts to take it off and then realizes) Uh, no you cant have my jacket! Because then I would be cold! If you thought that you were going to be cold, you shouldve brought your own jacket. But uh, other than that, are you okay? Are you okay?
Monica: Okay you were right! All right, I never should have bought them! Theyre killing me! One toe at a time!
CHANDLER: No, see, I'm trying this new screening thing. You know, I figure if I'm always answering the phone, people'll think I don't have a life. My god, Rodrigo never gets pinned.