words in movies
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'. (to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
Ross: (in a deep voice) I'll have whatever Christine is having.
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Ross: (squatting and reading the instructions) I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.
Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.
Chandler: I have no idea.
Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.
Paul: I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?
Rachel: Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Rachel: Isn't this amazing? I mean, I have never made coffee before in my entire life.
Rachel: So, like, you guys all have jobs?
Monica: Yeah, we all have jobs. See, that's how we buy stuff.
Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?
Monica: Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
Rachel: No, you have it, really, I don't want it-
All: Yeah. Yeah, I'll have a cup of coffee.
Ross: Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.
Phoebe: I have to go scream into a pillow. (Goes to scream into a pillow)
Rachel: I have to go to the bathroom. (Goes to the bathroom)
Rachel: (To Monica) Do you have to go?
Joey: How long do you have to go for?
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)
Ross: Rach, you don't have to call whenever you have a little question, okay? Trust me, I know this.
Chandler: If you clear things up with Rachel then Ross never needs to find out, but you have to do it now before he hears about it and kicks your ass!
Phoebe: (interrupts him) No, no, we don't really have time for this right now. Okay, we have to keep Chandler away from my bedroom.
Sarah: Could you pull open the curtains for me? The astronauts from the space shuttle are gonna be on the news, and since we dont have a TV, the lady across the alley said shed push hers up to a window, so I could watch it.
Joey: Everything is gonna be fine. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Mike.
Rachel: Hi, my name is Rachel Green, I have an appointment for Emma.
Phoebe: Mike, let me ask you something. How many sisters does Joey have?
Joey: When have I ever done that?! (And does the sound again.)
Chandler: Okay, I have news. You don't have to move to Tulsa. You can stay here and keep your job.
Monica: Where have you been?
Chandler: Well, you got here just in time. I really have to go buddy. (They hug)
Joey: Alright thanks, Oh hey have you talked to Chandler?
Monica:: how do you know I have one of those?
Joey: do you have any cake?
[Scene: The Fire Escape, Joey and Ross have reached the last landing. Joey is tugging on the ladder that extends to the ground, but it wont budge.]
Mike: oh it's just you have that look (shuts the front door)
Rachel: Oh that couldn't have been pretty. but you know guys do that.
Ross: do you have a compact in your purse?
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.
CHAN: Well it couldn't have been worse. A woman literally passed through me. OK, so what is it, am I hideously unattractive?
Rachel: Heeeeey, where have you been? (He shows her his thumb) What happened to you?
Amy: This might be my one chance to have a baby Rachel. I mean, you know that I have been so busy focusing on my carrer.
Amanda: (In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all! (she pulls them down to sit.) Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married!
Joey: my god woman! How many people do you have to had been with not to remember any of this?
Chandler: does what always have to be sharks.
[Scene: The Porsche, they have pulled over and are awaiting the cop to come talk to them.]
Rachel: Mon you definitely have to make it a theme wedding, and the theme could be, Look how much money weve got! Y'know, I mean you could put, you could put money in-in the invitations! You-you could have like little money place settings. And ah, you could start with a money salad! I mean itll be dry, but people will like it.
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Phoebe: One really does have a stick up one�s ass. Doesn�t one?
Phoebe: Rachel, its okay. You dont have to do this. I believe you. All right? Okay, if-if you say that you kissed Melissa, then you kissed Melissa.
Monica: So what? Don�t you have any will power?
Rachel: Alright, I can�t, I can�t wait that long. You have to do something�knock that door down!
Monica: Okay. Lets hurryOh wait! Do we have a condom? (He looks at her.) Oh right! (Laughs and they resume making out when a nurse catches them in the act.)
Ross: Sure, Monica would have to give her up.
Chandler: Ok. So if we both had Emma and I die <knocks on table> she'd have to give her up.
Ross: Okay, I�ll have the fixed salad and the duck.
Monica: I was just saying that because I was ovulating and you said you wouldn�t have sex with me while we�re fighting.
Monica: Mom�s here? I wanted to have lunch with her today, she told me she was out of town.
ROSS: Well, OK, I uh, I have to. I can't deal with this right now. I mean, I've uh, y'know, I've got a cab, I've got a girlfriend, I'm... I'm gonna go get a cat.
Joey: So? Did have sex, right?
Chandler: So you never had sex with a Kennedy, have you?
[Scene: The Anniversary Party, Ross and Rachel have just gotten another wedding present.]
Ross: (tries to be sexy too) Well that depends ... have you been a baaad gi .. (stops) no I can't.
Rachel: That's great, great. So do you have any questions for us?
Ross: Oh, come on Rach, we will. I promise. We have more interviews (They sit down and Rachel sighs) And worse comes to worse, we can always reconsider the uhm... the first one we met with.
Phoebe: You dont have to be back for a half-hour!
Monica: You have to tell David!
Phoebe: Okay, I knew I should have had this conversation with Joey.
Monica: With good news? (very quickly and wringing hands) Of course it is not good news, you just said (deadpan) "Doctor Connelly just called". If it was good news you would have said (excitedly) "Doctor Connelly just called! " But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you?
Prospective nanny: Oh, you know, wait. I do have one question. (she starts playing with her hair) Do you guys do random drug testing?
Phoebe: Yeah, I should have told you.
Ross: Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesnt really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think its gonna make a difference
Phoebe: Thats so funny to think if youd just done that right after the last contest, no one would have had to move at all.
Ross: You know what, you can go, I just have to fill out some forms. (Tries to hold the pen but cant)
Drunk Man: My god!! You must have been a teenage when you had him. (Monica stares straight forward after the comment. Chandler tries to console her by patting her on the shoulder.)
Ross: Then we have to await the data from recent MRI scans and DNA testing which call into question information gathered from years of simple carbon dating.
Monica: I don't know it! I want to have a kid with you because I think you're going to be an amazing dad... at the fun parts and the hard parts.
Mike: So... how many guys have your key?
Chandler: If I'd known you guys were coming over, I would have brought more pizza. (they all burst out in a thundering laugh)
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Joey: Me too, but I guess I do have a couple of more(his time runs out for real)
Sandy: That must have been hard.
Chandler: Do you have any ideas?
Amy: Do you want to know why you don't want me to have the baby?
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didnt have a baby in nine months!
JOEY: Okay, what have we always wanted to do together?
Phoebe: Well okay, let this be a lesson to all of you, all right. Once you, once you betray me, I become like the ice woman, yknow. Very cold, hard, unyielding, y'know nothing, nothing can penetrate this icy exterior. (to Monica) Can I have a tissue, please?
RACHEL: Yeah, yeah.� Phoebe and I are going to have so much fun.� And thank you for watching the baby, by the way.
MIKE: Ah?� (pause)� Do you have one here?
Joey: Then she came back with "The question is, when are you gonna grow up and realise I have a bomb?"
ROSS: Rach, Rach, we'll be fine, all right?� You go have fun.
Rachel: (regretful) I'm sorry, too! (they look at each other sadly, then she recollects, and puts her hands over her eyes) OH GOD! I shouldn't have said anything!
MONICA: Chandler, you have to tell Joey that you're not in Tulsa.
Chandler: (To Monica) Now all you have to do is just get through a little bit more, okay? Then we can put you in bed, okay? Just smile and dont talk to anyone.
RACHEL: I don't know.� Do I have to decide right now?
PHOEBE: (imitating Rachel) "Oh, I have to get my number back.� Oh my God.� He's gone."� (smiles) Dead on.
PHOEBE: Well, you have to go back in.
MIKE: (Entering the apartment) I, I was just thinking about how much more we have to talk about.
MONICA: I don't know what to say.� We shouldn't have lied to you.
Rachel: Honey, you have nothing to prove. And if you really like this girl, I don't flirting is the right thing to (Ross interrupts and shushes her.)
MONICA: Have fun.
Chandler: So, I finally catch up to her and she says this relationship is going to fast and we have to slow down.
ROSS: So, ah . . . So, how was it?�� Uh, did you guys. . . Did you guys have a good time?
Monica: It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.
Chandler: Of course, of course not. I just have to uh, go over to the place where I-I made it and pick-pick it up.
Phoebe: Oh no, we have to!
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
Chandler: No, you don't have to, and you can't because I, I live here too.
Phoebe: Yes!! Yes!! Im the next caller! You were gonna have me hang up.
Ross: Yeah! I opened up to her about all the terrible stuff that's been happening to me. I mean I talked for hours. (Joey has lost interest and is watching the race again.) It is amazing to have someone give you such-such focused attention.
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say.
Ross: I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean after all weve been through, I justyknow I wish I had a brother to reciprocate. Hey, if you ever want to go out with Monica, you have my blessing.
MONICA: But I need it. Otherwords I'm gonna have to take that horrible diner job. You know, with the dancing and the costumes. I don't wanna have to wear flame retardant boobs.
Chandler: Oh, okay, I have condom in my wallet that I've had since I was twelve.