words in movies
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchildren." was what? A wrong number?
Joey: Strip joint! C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!
Rachel: Oh God... well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?'. (to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city.
Ross: (in a deep voice) I'll have whatever Christine is having.
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Ross: (squatting and reading the instructions) I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.
Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.
Chandler: I have no idea.
Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known.
Paul: I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?
Rachel: Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Rachel: Isn't this amazing? I mean, I have never made coffee before in my entire life.
Rachel: So, like, you guys all have jobs?
Monica: Yeah, we all have jobs. See, that's how we buy stuff.
Rachel: Wow! Would I have seen you in anything?
Monica: Is it me? Is it like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear?
Rachel: No, you have it, really, I don't want it-
All: Yeah. Yeah, I'll have a cup of coffee.
Phoebe: And you know, I have a massage client soon.
Joey: Well, that one did not have Emma's face on it.
Chandler: It's not gone! I mean, I'm sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy, right?
Chandler: Oh, so thats why the priest threw holy water on me. (theres no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Chandler: Expect it in 4-6 weeks. (She starts to leave.) Umm, hey, umm, Joey's gonna be at the telethon for the rest of the day, we have the whole place to ourselves.
Rachel: I've never given her a cookie. Have you?
Rachel: You know, I'm thinking about letting Emma have her first cookie.
Monica: You guys do that? Chandler won't even have sex in our bathroom!
Charlie: So, you know... I have a little time. If you... if you want to...
Amy: (yelling from outside) Rachel!! Open up!! It's your sister!! (she knocks on the door again) I have to talk to you!!
Amy: Well, I have huge news.
Monica: Well, you guys have been friends forever. Remember the first time that you kissed Ross? How weird that was? You couldn't stop laughing? You got through that.
Joey: Ah, look who’s back! (he sees the bags) Why do you have bags? RACH, WHY DOES SHE HAVE BAGS?
Monica: Look at that! Look at that! Theyre going into the first class lounge! Do you know what they have in there?
Ross: (entering) Hey is Rachel here? We have a doctors appointment.
Ross: (surprised) Oh... (he pauses) (sounds disappointed) Ohh... I'd love to but I really have to grade these papers.
Amy: Well, if I had told you, then it wouldn't have been surprise, now would it?
Rachel: Well, well, well, hop back in bucko, cause I got four sixes! (lays down cards) I won! I actually won! Oh my God! Y'know what? (collects chips) I think I'm gonna make a little Ross pile. (holds up a chip) I think that one was Ross's, and I thinkohthat one was Ross's. Yes! (Starts singing): Well, I have got your money, and you'll never see it...
Ross: Did she (points at Amy) do this to her? I told you we shouldn't have left Emma with her!
Amy: Hey you know what, this kid needs me, okay? She needs to have a cool fun aunt!
Nina: I dont know. For the past couple days, people have been avoiding me and giving me these really strange looks.
Rachel: Okay, first of all, if you keep calling it that, no one's gonna ever take it. Then, second of all you're not actually gonna have sex with him! You're just gonna make him think that you are.
Phoebe: Thank you! (to Rachel) Oh, and I have something for you!
PHOE: Your boobs are fine. Look, I never should have said anything. Come here. Come here. [hugs Chandler but holds her hands apart behind his back] Oh, can't make.... hands... meet....
Joey: Listen, do you guys think I have a chance with Janine?
Phoebe: My grandmother has this new boyfriend, and they're both kind of insecure in bed. Oh, and deaf. So they're constantly, like, having to reassure each other that they're having a good time. You have no idea how loud they are!
Passenger: You say you love this man, yet youre about to ruin the happiest day of his life. Im afraid I have to agree with you friend Pheebs.. This is a..this is a...terrible, terrible plan.
Rachel: Well, it was, and you would have seen it if you didn't showed up at (looks at his watch) ... 9:30?? God! Oh, this party was lame ...
Phoebe: Hey, you know what, I've never had a one-year anniversary before, so no matter where we go, I'm wearing something fancy pants, and... I'm gonna put on my finest jewelry and we're gonna have sex in a public rest room.
Ross: Wha...? Wait, wait, wait, just a minute. None of my questions have anything to do with Paleontology.
Mrs. Bing: Dont you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that?
Chandler: Yes, and I have to say, I am not just hurt. I am insulted. When I tell somebody I did something...
Rachel: Well, actually Gunther sent me. Youre not allowed to have cups out here, its a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside)
(He knocks on the girls door and walks in. Surprise! The girls, obviously using Star Trek technology, have completely moved everything in both apartments back to their original positions, all in the time it took for the guys to go to a basketball game. Wow! Anyhoo, Chandler is stunned, and Joey doesnt even realise it.)
Phoebe: Really? It doesn't have anything coming out of it. Or maybe there is some place for her in your bedroom?
Ross: I have to break up with Charlie?
MNCA: You know, that's true. You'd be a great person to have around the day after an emergency.
Benjamin: I never should have broken up with you. I think about you all the time. I mean, do you ever still think about me?
Ross: There's no way around it Pheebs, you just gonna have to accept the fact that this is gonna cost you a lot of money.
Chandler: To be fair this one does have nuts.
Chandler: (enters singing) Oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plane, STOP IT! Why couldn't they have sent me to Texas? 7 o clock maybe I'll hit the gym (sits down) who am I kidding pay-per-view porn.
Phoebe: It’s for our wedding day! Right, now, is this guy gay or straight, because one of us gonna have to start flirting.
Mike: She could have been talking about either one of us.
Rachel: (breaking up) Were just really very excited about this charity event that we have to go to.
Ross: No wait, okay, okay, I have an idea. I want you to get on the swing, okay? And you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of.
Phoebe: Look, I can't have a wedding with this money now. It's tainted.
Laura: Oh! Well, actually, before we look around, let me make sure I have everything I need up to here...
Charlie: Oh I can't... I have seminars all day and I promised Ross I would look at his speech.
Monica: Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh...
Chandler: Hello...? Have you seen Joey's bat?
Julie: Yeah, we are going to share every moment of this with you. And I think were gonna have some fun.
Rachel: Okay, that's gonna take them a minute. Do you have anything else you wanna get off your chest?
Mischa: (to Monica) I have just resigned my post. Would you care to accompany me to the Rainbow Room? I have diplomatic coupons.
Joey: (takes out the mouth guard) I know I dont have too! It tastes good. (Puts it back in.)
Monica: Oh, Chandler, that's sweet. But you don't have to do everything Doctor Phil tells you to do.
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Rachel: Phoebe, you have to calm down.
Joey: Yeah. I am sorry he's not here too, but I got to say, (takes some nachos from a plate on the seat where Chandler should have been) I am really enjoying Nacho Chair.
[Scene: The corridor. Ross and Joey have just arrived.]
Joey: Wait a second, wait a second, where have I seen that cowgirl outfit before...
Ross: So, this must be kinda neat for ya, huh? I mean, your Dad tells me that you get a couple of days off school, and you, you ah, dont have to sell those cookies anymore.
Joey: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no... I think it's better if you tell him, you know. It's easier for a woman. That way, you know, if he gets mad, all you have to do is go... I didn't mean it. I'm so so--ooory. (he pushes his breasts together from the side)
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, I just remembered. We do have something to eat. Monica put something in our oven this morning.
Monica: Oh! Enough! A monkey could have made 'em!
Monica: Oh, well. Now that I'm here I might as well help you with the cleaning and organizing! Just happen to have my label maker!
Joey: Yeah! You three have a nice Thanksgiving.
Monica: Okay, I have to get that. Now when I get back, I want you and your friends to be gone. Thanksgiving is over. The Vein has spoken.
Chandler: The Bings have horrible marriages! They yell. They fight. And they use the pool boy as a pawn in their sexual games!
Phoebe: I know. Have you considered pageanting?
Joey: I can't believe it. When you guys come back, you're gonna have a baby! That is so weird!
Ross: Damnit! I have this date tomorrow night and I have to look cool!
Chandler: I suppose that Monica will have the � manipulative shrew.
Chandler: Yeah. Just weird, you know. It's like: "Hi, I'm Chandler. May I have the human growing inside you?"
Phoebe: (to Joey) You wouldn’t let her have a grape?
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
Erica: We’re great, I think I may have asked all my questions.
Erica: Actually, I don’t think we have to.
Monica: Oh man! If I had known I was coming to this party I never would have gotten married!
Chandler: You have gotta stop!
Monica: (sniffing) Maybe she will. Uh! Why couldn't I have been a Reverend?
Joey: Hey, I may never have kids, and somebody's gotta carry on my family name.
Phoebe: Ooh, so this is great! Rachel's gonna have a terrible date, Ross gets stood up, and then they'll realise how good they have it together.
Joey: Oh, all right, I'll just have what she's having instead.
Monica: Come on! Tests make us all better learners! Oh yeah! (Running out) We should have essay questions!!
(Chandler takes Monica's hand, and gets serious) Look, before we sign anything we really have to talk...(pause) We're not who you think we are.
Joey: (taking apart the invitation) Hey, pretty smart! Tissue paper! Youre at the wedding, you have to cry, "Handkerchief?" "No-no, I got my invitation."
Phoebe: (running up carrying a tree) Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! No, no, you dont want that one. No, you can have this cool brown one. (points to the almost dead tree she has)
Chandler: Okay! (They kiss) So, what do you girls have planned for tonight?
Chandler: Oh, uhm... I have to work too. Yeah, I'm stuck at the office all day.
Phoebe: Why do you have a realtor?
Ross: Yeah, I mean, if you moved there, you have to leave here. I mean, how can you leave this place?
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.
Phoebe: Well, of course it smells really bad. You have your head inside a turkey's ass!
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Chandler: Tonight?! (looks at the ring) Isn't an engagement ring supposed to have a diamond? (squints at the ring to emphasize how tiny the diamond is) Oh, there it is!
Rachel: Yeah, I know, I know, I know he does. But I have to tell him how I feel! He deserves to have all the information and then he can make an informed decision.