words in movies
Phoebe: Why, I must have been in missile training the day they taught that.
Chandler: (to Rachel) You know what I just realized? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow.
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Phoebe: I don't have a fax machine.
Chandler: Mike didn't tell you? You have to chose one of us to be in your wedding. One of his groomsmen fell out.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today.
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Phoebe: All right, I guess I'll have to find a new bridesmaid.
Mike: Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom?
Monica: (very serious) It's 2101 and I am not amused. (pause). Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. (Everyone sits and Phoebe gets up)
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
Joey: Oh, man! I wouldn't have had breakfast if I knew there was going to be corsages!
Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
Ross: You haven't by any chance chosen a groomsman yet, have you?
Joey: May I have a word with you, please?
Joey: Have a seat. (Mike sits on his bed, and Joey towers over him. He starts talking in an Italian godfather-type voice) Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... (shakes his head) I cannot allow this.
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want?
Mike: That must have been one lousy movie.
Phoebe: No! We're gonna do it my way. (listens) Because your way is stupid! Alright I gotta go, I have another call, Reverend. (switches calls) Hello?
Ross: (barely containing himself at this point) Well, you have fun tonight.
Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. (he winks at her and Rachel looks disgusted)
Rachel: (sarcastic) Wow, this is a tough one. I think I'm gonna have to go with the dog.
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
Monica: (checking her clipboard) I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours.
Rachel: Geez Ross, you could have showered.
Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She puts the ring on Mikes finger)
Phoebe: Oh wait, oh I forgot... and uhm... I love you... and you have nice eyes.
Chandler: I'd love to, but it's 2300 hours and I'm about to have the most organized sex anyone's ever had.
GAIL: I, I really have to be somewhere but it was nice meeting you.
JOEY: And, and just so you know, if you wanted to expand this scene like, like have the cab crash or somethin', I could attend to the victims 'cause I have a background in medical acting.
MONICA: Man, man that is sharp. It must have cost you quite a few debloons.
CHANDLER: Woah, woah, woah. I don't need a roommate either, OK? I can afford to live here by myself. Ya know, I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware.
Chandler: I know, I know, but youre gonna have plenty of chances. There are literally thousands of women out there just waiting to screw me over.
Rachel: Well, you know I'm not surprised. I mean have you seen them together, they're really cute.
Rachel: Come on you gotta have one!
Rachel: Do you still have that, um, Navy uniform?
Ross: How could you have told her?
CHANDLER: I'm sorry we, we don't have your sheep.
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
Ross: You can have the last piece, if you want.
Rachel: Well, you know what? This is great. Finally, I have someone I can pass on my wisdom too. Let me tell you about a couple of things I learned while working at the coffeehouse. First of all, the customer is always right. (Joey nods.) A smile goes a long way. (Joey smiles) And if anyone is ever rude to you? Sneeze muffin.
Rachel: Hi! Yknow what honey, were actually out of candy right now. But someone just went out to get some and I have been giving out money but Im out of that too. Hey, can I write you a check?
Ross: I think I have an old band uniform from high school.
Joey: We have a half hour.
Chandler: Alright, what have we learned so far?
Joey: I didn't have to tell you that!! I'm stupider than Jane Rogers!!
Joey: Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it real expensive?
Machine: "You have two new messages."
Rachel: You guys, come on, it doesn't matter why we're late. We're all here now, please let us in so we can have some of your delicious turkey. (A slice of turkey on a piece of aluminum foil is slid under door)
JOEY: Yeah really, Ross, have you ever been beaten up before?
Ross: Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?
Chandler: Okay, listen, how far am I gonna have to go with her?
Monica: (entering from her room) Okay. I gotta call Michelle. I gotta see if that was her voice or not. I'm sorry, I just have to.
Ross: Okay. You know that I-I have to go.
MRS. GREENE: ...I may have only been in therapy for three weeks now dear but...
Monica: Youre right, youre right I shouldnt freak out. Cause this is what will happen when you and I have babies! When will that be?!
RTST: No, ma'am. Well, anyhoo, we should be getting our F.D.A. approval any day now, hopefully, in time for Thanksgiving. See, the way we look at it, chocolate already dominates most of your major food-preparation holidays: Easter, Christmas, what have you.
ROSS: Question two. Why do we always have to have parties with committees?
Machine: You have three new messages.
Ross: (leaving) I just have to go, all right? Do I need a reason? Huh? I mean I have things to do with my life, I have a jam packed schedule, and I am late- for keeping up with it. Okay?
MONICA: Hey, I made $17 before breakfast, what have you done?
Joey: Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?
MNCA: Rach, does this have nonfat milk?
ROSS: You know what, you guys, we don't have to watch this.
Phoebe: Okay. (they start to leave, he is still following her) Okay, you don't have to walk behind me any more.
Phoebe: Oh no, I dont believe in Western medicine. No, if you just apply pressure to these points right here. (Shes pinching the bit of skin between her right thumb and forefinger with her left hand.) Then your hand starts to hurt and you still have a headache, so thanks. (Takes the pills.)
Ross: That does not sound stupid to me. You know, it's like the first time I had to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? (the buzzer on the washer goes off) I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross...(opens up the washer) Uh-oh.
Chandler: Thats not true! I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day. I wanted to start drinking in the morning. Dont say that I dont have goals!
Chandler: Yes, we do. But, we have to change first.
Phoebe: Hi, yeah, hi! I'm umm, Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out of me.
PHOEBE: I don't think it would have sold a million copies but it would have made a nice gift for you.
Ross: So is everybody here? I got here a little early myself. Let us begin. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. (He moves to the map and we see why he made it to class on time, hes wearing in-line skates and hasnt taken them off.) Here. (Points to the map, somewhere in the Middle East, then spins on the skates and points to the map.) Here. (China.) Now as for the hydrosaurs
Ross: Yeah, which, which we have to leave for in exactly twelve minutes. All right, come on, I'll just pick something out for you.
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true.
PHOEBE: [handing him the papers] Here you go. You know what, I just have one more question, um, if you had figured this out sooner and um, I had been around, do you think that I would have been the one who. . . no, um, I'm sorry, don't tell me, I don't th ink either answer would make me feel better.
MR. DOUGLAS: Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday.
LIPSON: Ahh, I'm afraid I have some bad news. Marcel has passed on.
ROSS: You, you know I, I don't, have a- have a problem with that.
CHANDLER: Look you have to help me out here. I thought we had a deal. I thought by the time...
CHANDLER: I will have the uh, Cajun catfish.
Monica: What is it with you people! I mean, the minute you start to feel something, you have to run away?
Janice: Oh, you didn't have to do this.
Monica: Okay, this isn't working. I'm still awake and now I have to pee.
Monica: We do not have one of those signs.
RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
Rachel: I know, I mean, why can't parents just stay parents? (She walks over near Chandler and his gaze stays very obviously on her chest) Why do they have to become people? Why do they have... (Notices Chandler) Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
Chandler: Okay. (Youll have to see it, I cant describe the face he makes, but it isnt good.)
Phoebe: Okay, okay, okay, the black. But, oh, do you have black, with the little strappys?
Rachel: (she hurries after him) Wait, we still have time to talk and theyre-they're not even in the car yet! (She takes a quick look down the street.) Oh look, there they go, okay. (She hurries in, too)
Emily: Oh no, no, right I shouldnt have said married. Uh, please dont go freaky on me. I didnt mean it. Well, I didnt say it; I take it back!
Passenger #1: Oh my God. This plane doesn't even have a Philange!
Chandler: Hey, you have nothing but talk about her for the last 48 hours! If you were in a school yard youd be pulling her pigtails and pushing her down now!
Rachel: I mean do you have any fun, you know, fantasy type things?
Rachel: Well, so, now, do you guys have a lot of big plans?
Mrs. Potter: Phoebe, we have rules here, this isnt that kind of place.
Ross: Yeah, its hard okay, I only have two spots left.
Phoebe: I dont have time for this.
Chandler: (entering) Have you seen Joey?
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau have gone to get coffee.]
Phoebe: You cant have sex with her!
Joey: I just have to call my agent and tell her I cant do the part. (Gets up for the phone.)
Chandler: Oh, I think I have the cash.
Ross: Okay look, theres nothing to worry about. We have plenty of time. Theres a great baby furniture store on west 10th. Tomorrow, we will go there and we will get you everything that you need. Okay?
Ross: So how many more do you have tomorrow?
Rachel: Okay, well you are just gonna have too, okay. Because I already got a Mother and a Father who cannot stay in the same room together, okay, I dont wanna have to have a separate room for you too!! (starts to cry)
Ross: I have to go. Yeah, Carol should be home by now, soo...
MONICA: No. Big deal, so you have a side of the bed, everybody has a side of the bed.
Mark: Are you sure, because we may have something at Louis Vuitton.
PHOEBE: Alright, I'm sorry but these people needed me. They work hard all week, it's Saturday night, they deserve to have a little fun. Go.
MONICA: No honey. You have to sleep on this side of the bed because I have to sleep on this side of the bed.
Joey: (whispering) No, I really have to pee.
CHANDLER: Because sometimes, Phoebe after you sleep with someone, you have to kill the fish.
Phoebe: You have chalk on your face.
Chandler: (escorting Joey to the door) You have to get out of here. You slept with our social worker and you never called her back and she is still pissed, so she can't see you.
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. We'll have, we'll have a big party, and no-one'll know who's with who.
Phoebe: All right, I have ya. Oh God.
Janice: Although, I have enjoyed the fact that, uh your shirt's been stickin' outta your zipper ever since you came back from the bathroom.
Rachel: Yeah it is, it is. (to Ross) We really, really have to do something about that.
CHAN: Y'know, maybe this isn't such a big deal. Y'know, I mean, the way that I see it is you get a great job and you get to have sex. Y'know, I mean, throw in a tree and a fat guy and you've got Christmas.
Ross: Look, honey, I have tried to make nice, it doesnt work.
Ross: Oh, yeah, that would be me, um, I have, I have a problem I-I tip way too much, way, way, too much, its a sickness really.
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
Phoebe: (to Paulo) Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.
Chandler: Okay, Im not gonna have one.
Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)
Gunther: Oh, like you dont already have everything.
Chandler: Well, then it looks like somebody is gonna have to give back somebody his cushions.
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonwell Shropshire really but yknowwell shes about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if youd like to keep her company this evening?