words in movies
Phoebe: Why, I must have been in missile training the day they taught that.
Chandler: (to Rachel) You know what I just realized? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow.
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Phoebe: I don't have a fax machine.
Chandler: Mike didn't tell you? You have to chose one of us to be in your wedding. One of his groomsmen fell out.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today.
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Phoebe: All right, I guess I'll have to find a new bridesmaid.
Mike: Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom?
Monica: (very serious) It's 2101 and I am not amused. (pause). Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. (Everyone sits and Phoebe gets up)
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
Joey: Oh, man! I wouldn't have had breakfast if I knew there was going to be corsages!
Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
Ross: You haven't by any chance chosen a groomsman yet, have you?
Joey: May I have a word with you, please?
Joey: Have a seat. (Mike sits on his bed, and Joey towers over him. He starts talking in an Italian godfather-type voice) Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... (shakes his head) I cannot allow this.
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want?
Mike: That must have been one lousy movie.
Phoebe: No! We're gonna do it my way. (listens) Because your way is stupid! Alright I gotta go, I have another call, Reverend. (switches calls) Hello?
Ross: (barely containing himself at this point) Well, you have fun tonight.
Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. (he winks at her and Rachel looks disgusted)
Rachel: (sarcastic) Wow, this is a tough one. I think I'm gonna have to go with the dog.
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
Monica: (checking her clipboard) I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours.
Rachel: Geez Ross, you could have showered.
Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She puts the ring on Mikes finger)
Phoebe: Oh wait, oh I forgot... and uhm... I love you... and you have nice eyes.
Chandler: I'd love to, but it's 2300 hours and I'm about to have the most organized sex anyone's ever had.
Elizabeth: Oh. Well, so we have to hide our relationship from one more person. Big deal. Besides, its kinda fun hiding.
Phoebe: I cant believe Im gonna have a party! This is so great! (Really excited) A party! (Really, really excited) Yay!! (Suddenly, she starts crying and Rachel moves to comfort her.) I dont know why.
Mark: Why don't we have dinner tonight and talk about it?
Woman On Train: I made a bet with myself that you have beautiful eyes. Now that I see them, I win.
Monica: Hey, where have you been?
Phoebe: Okay, fine, I�ll move. Alright, you don�t have to manhandle me. (gets up) Where? (he points at a smaller table) Okay. Thank you. Wach.
Ross: Yeah, were not just doing a card! Yknow, she-she also wants to have the conversation about where the relationship is going.
Chandler: We're not gonna have this conversation again... Look at this place. Why am I so intimidated by this guy? Pretentious art, this huge macho couch. When we know all he does is sit around all day crying about losing Monica to a real man! (laughs) You don't think he's here, do you? (Joey looks around)
Monica: Well, at least you have one thing to be happy about. That jerk Gavin from your office didn't show up (Gavin shows up at the balcony windows).
Ross: It used to be. Now she doesnt really have a face. Smokin body though.
MRS GREEN: Oh, am I! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. And three other girls made eyes at me over the buffet. Oh, I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue, but it's nice to know I have options.
Ross: Okay, hey, that's okay with me. Two down and I have exactly twelve minutes.... Wha, my watch stopped. My watch. (shows Chandler) Okay, see, the, the dinosaur tail isn't going around any more. (grabs Chandler's watch) What time is it? It's 7:33, I have seven minutes. I have seven minutes!!
Ross: Yeah! Yes! Thank you! This is great. Thank you so much. And I swear, your kid is going to have the time of his life.
Monica: Oh sure, now you�re Mister Sensitivity. But when you wanted to have sex right after my uncle�s funeral
Lady: Oh, the woman upstairs is very nice. She and her husband have two kids, he's on Wall Street and she…
Rachel: Oh my God! I can not believe that! I mean I dont really like it when Ross goes out with anyone, but my sister isnt that like incest or something?! Oh my God, and theyre gonna have sex! Oh! Oh no what if he marries her too?! Oh this is just terrible, this is just terrible. And I cant stop it! I cantI dont own Ross! Yknow? And Jill, she should be able to do whatever it is that she wants to do! And oh my God, I cant believe Ross is marrying my little sister, this terrible. Oh my God, this is just the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.
Ross: Huh? So? We have a deal?
Monica: Oh my God! I have nothing left to teach you! (they hug)
Rachel: What? Maybe I put it in here (she opens her bag). Oh, oh, it's not in there! Oh, no! I must have packed it in one of these boxes!
Phoebe: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!! Hey!!! (they all stop fighting, Chandler continues to dance.) Look what youre doing to Chandler!! (Chandler finally stops) (to Ross and Rachel) Yeah, look, we know this is really, really hard for you guys. Okay? (Ross starts to leave) You dont, all right you dont have to love each other, okay? You dont, you dont even have to like each other much right now. But please, you have to figure out a way to be around each other.
Monica: Oh, no. He doesn't have time for that. But if you want, you can go help him and Joey pack up the guest room.
Message: (Phoebe's voice) "Hello. Th-this is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologise" (they all turns to look at Phoebe) "I sh.. I shouldn't have knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady's hand. It-it was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo."
Phoebe: Oh no... Have you thought about it how complicated this could get? What about Ross?
Ross: Forget it. I-IYknow what? Ill just have the conversation. Ill just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. What do you think Rach?
Rachel: Mon... Okay... I've gotta... just say what it is I'm gonna say... None of the amazing things that have happened to me in the last ten years, would have happened if it wasn't for you. No-one has been more like a sister to me...
Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. (Mr. Zellner looks shocked). I just heard it as you must have heard it and that’s not good. Let me start again. I’m a paleontologist, you’ll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones… fossils!
Chandler: You know me sir. Oh ah, I do have a question for ya. Do you know how I get around the office computer network so I can access the really good Internet porn?
Joey: Come on here, have a seat.
Phoebe: (awed) You have the power to do that?
Monica: She doesn't have a stomach-ache. She's in labor!
Rachel: Shh.. Go back to sleep. I have to go home.
Phoebe: Have you seen him throw a ball?
Ross: Chandler, you don't have a sister so you can't understand how much this bums me out.
Ross: Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell, but I'm also not one to have sex and shut up. We totally did it!
Monica: Oh! Oh my God! That is the most beautiful top of a head I have ever seen! Chandler, you have to see this!
Chandler: (To Monica) Well, now we have one of each! (To the doctor) And that's enough!
Chandler: Monica, we are not ready to have two babies!
Chandler: Look, I may have jumped the gun here. (she tries to kiss him, but he ducks it and moves away) Um, I just got out of a relationship and Im not really in a, in a commitment kind of place.
Gunther: I... I know you're leaving tonight, but I just have to tell you. I love you.
Phoebe: Hey! What do you have there?
Rachel: I am still talking!! And then you chase away the one guy that I actually liked! I mean, no offense to you guys. Really! I mean (To Patrick) congratulations on all the cash, (He nods) and-and yknow(Feels Eldads hair)Wow! You do have very soft hair! But I would much rather go to the ball all by myself than go through anymore of this! Good-bye! (Grabs her stuff, starts to leave, then turns back suddenly, and to Eldad) Now do you use some sort of special conditioner on that hair?!
Chandler: I have no idea what's going on, but I am excited!
Man: Hey! The law says you have to accept any fare.
Phoebe: You should have thought of that before you got in!
Joey: Does that mean we have to bust it open?
Phoebe: You have to get a ticket to get past security.
Ross: Yes, that's what I have. It's not on the board.
Chandler: We have to bust it open, but neither of us can do it!
Phoebe: You don't have any other choice!
Phoebe: Uhm, actually no. No, you've... You have to get off the plane.
Phoebe: (To Ross) For what it's worth, we would have caught her if we were at the right airport.
Rachel: Alright, look, I have to go. I love you, and I will call you the minute I get to Paris.
Passenger #1: I have to get off this plane, okay? Her friend has a feeling something's wrong with the left Philange.
Chandler: You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it. (she shrugs)
Chandler: Yeah, I mean we've got a lot going on right now. And, plus, here they'd have their own room.
Ross: No, no, I just have to talk to someone.
Ross: I know, I know. I shouldn't have waited 'till now to say it, but I'm.. That was stupid, okay? I'm sorry, but I'm telling you now. I love you. Do not get on this plane.
Rachel: I - I have to get on the plane.
Air stewardess: (on the answering machine) I am afraid you are gonna have to take a seat.
ROSS: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.
(She looks at Ross, a bit ashamed. Chandler mimes "big breasts" to Ross and lip syncs "Wow". Ross looks at him, astonished and then Monica looks at Chandler again. A little too late he changes the "big breasts" mime into "rocking a baby". When he realizes Monica might have seen it he also strokes his imaginary baby's head.)
Rachel: Oh thats five Ross. Five women have had five babies! And I have had no babies! Why doesnt she want to come out?
Bob: Hey Toby! Have a good night. (Walks by.)
Paul: And anyhow, Im sorry I was so harsh before, but you have to understand that I (pause) still look at Lizzie like shes a twelve-year-old girl.
Joey: (warily) Who called here? Did she sound blond? Huh? Did-did-did she have an accent? I gotta make a call! (Starts to leave) I shoulda never walked into that Sunglass Hut!
Monica: See? Thats what I mean. I mean that, thats great! But I wouldnt trade in what I have for that. I mean Im gonna be with Chandler for the rest of my life, and thats what makes me happy. (Chandler approaches.) Hey sweetie, come here! Come sit down. Hey Phoebe and I were just talking about how our relationship is deep and meaningful. It really is dont you think?
Monica:: maybe I will go (thinks) yea will have a second honeymoon at the Tulsa romana.
Guru Saj: Oh, I think I see the problem. And Im afraid were gonna have to use a much stronger tool. (Ross gives him a What? look) Love.
Charlie: Well, I think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas...
Chandler: Would you get that please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day.
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Phoebe: Ugh, okay, I have an enormous crush on you. But because youre a client, I cant ask you out, even though you give me yknow, the feeling.
Chandler: (stopping him from going any further) Before you say anything, have we got a story for you! Guess who we bumped into at dinner!
Joey: Okay! (He yanks his hand away.) All right. Umm, all right Wayne, level with me. Okay? I-I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired. Okay, they even have actors coming in to read for my part! Come on man, you-you got to give me a second chance! I mean, I love-I love this little guy! (He grabs C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm and pulls it off at the elbow.) Ah-ah!! (Wayne is shocked.) Okay, thats why you didnt want me to touch him right? Here you go! Okay? (Hands Wayne the arm and he goes to fix it. Meanwhile Joey starts to berate himself.) Stupid! I cant believe it! God! (A very beautiful woman walks by.) (To her) Hey, how you doin? (He and her go over to talk and Wayne looks on with envy.)
The Salesman: Actually, Im not buying. Im selling. Let me ask you one question. Do your friends ever have a conversation and you just nod along even though youre not really sure what theyre talking about?
Chandler: We don't have a code word.
Minister: May I have the rings? (He is given the rings) Emily, place this ring on Rosss finger as a symbol of your bond everlasting. (She jams the ring onto his finger) Ross, place this ring in Emilys hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever.
Conan: But audiencesYou have a live studio audience and they must love that. They must love it when they see you guys playing.
Monica: I can't believe we are at a real college party! (Rachel laughs excitedly) I have to pee so bad!
Guy: Would you like to go out and have a cup of coffee?
RACHEL: [on phone] Hi, Mr. Treeger. Hi, it's Rachel Green from upstairs. Yes, somebody, uh, broke our knob on the radiator and it's really hot in here. Yes, it's, it's hot enough to bake cookies. Well, do you think we could have a new one by 6? Wha t, no, no, Tuesday, we can't wait until Tuesday, we're having a party tonight.
The Doctor: Have we talked about the possibility of multiple births?
Bill: Some little snacks for everybody. Oh, you don't have to eat the sour worms. Those are for Owen.
Chandler: Let me see what you wrote about yourself: "Doctor Paleontology, two kids... " (pause) You split with Carol because you have different interests?... I think you split with Carol because you've one very similar interest!
Rachel: Oh wait, dont you have to pay for your, (looks at his magazine) Busty Ladies?
Jessica Ashley: (shocked) Oh my God! I won! Do you have any idea what this means?! (She rolls her eyes and throws it onto the couch.)
MONICA: Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game.� You have to spend time with me."� So, if you could just realize it on your own . . .
Rachel: Okay. Yeah, that would be nice actually, to have the apartment to myself for a night.
Chandler: Maybe. Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.
Phoebe: Regular Celery! (Starts to write that on her list) Oh, I already have that. (She gets up and heads for her room)
JANITOR: Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
Ross: Hey, at least you have a wife! I-I keep getting divorces and knockin people up! And Im dressed as doody.
Phoebe: Ok, and I have the, uh receipt for my dinner with Nokululu Oon Ah Ah.
Rachel: And that was so sweet of you to ask! Oh my God, the three of us are gonna have such a good time living together!
Monica: Hi! I'm Monica and I'm gonna be singing "Delta Dawn""Delta Dawn, what's that flower you have on? Could it be a faded rose from days gone by? ..."
Phoebe: Ok well, before you do, I know we weren't supposed to get you going away presents, (she takes something out from her pocket) but I do have something for you.
Janice: Ooh, that decides it then. I was on the fence. But knowing that you two would be our neighbors? Ah! now we have to get it! (Chandler and Monica are utterly shocked) Ellen, we're going to talk numbers. (Grabs Ellen by her elbow and pulls her outside)
Ross: I know! I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?! Huh? I mean no self-respecting man would ask a woman, "So, where is this going?"
ROSS: Ok, do you have any ideas for any openers?
Monica: Oh, you two must have been so cute running around on a barge.