words in movies
Phoebe: Why, I must have been in missile training the day they taught that.
Chandler: (to Rachel) You know what I just realized? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow.
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Phoebe: I don't have a fax machine.
Chandler: Mike didn't tell you? You have to chose one of us to be in your wedding. One of his groomsmen fell out.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today.
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Phoebe: All right, I guess I'll have to find a new bridesmaid.
Mike: Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom?
Monica: (very serious) It's 2101 and I am not amused. (pause). Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. (Everyone sits and Phoebe gets up)
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
Joey: Oh, man! I wouldn't have had breakfast if I knew there was going to be corsages!
Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
Ross: You haven't by any chance chosen a groomsman yet, have you?
Joey: May I have a word with you, please?
Joey: Have a seat. (Mike sits on his bed, and Joey towers over him. He starts talking in an Italian godfather-type voice) Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... (shakes his head) I cannot allow this.
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want?
Mike: That must have been one lousy movie.
Phoebe: No! We're gonna do it my way. (listens) Because your way is stupid! Alright I gotta go, I have another call, Reverend. (switches calls) Hello?
Ross: (barely containing himself at this point) Well, you have fun tonight.
Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. (he winks at her and Rachel looks disgusted)
Rachel: (sarcastic) Wow, this is a tough one. I think I'm gonna have to go with the dog.
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
Monica: (checking her clipboard) I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours.
Rachel: Geez Ross, you could have showered.
Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She puts the ring on Mikes finger)
Phoebe: Oh wait, oh I forgot... and uhm... I love you... and you have nice eyes.
Chandler: I'd love to, but it's 2300 hours and I'm about to have the most organized sex anyone's ever had.
Phoebe: Yes! I will have the green salad, umm the house salad, and waters fine.
Joey: Yes! I will have the lobster ravioli.
Joey: Is to have a long, long talk. Yknow? Get Joey out on the open road and really open him up.
Joey: A date?! No, no Pheebs you-you must be mistaken, because I know you wouldnt schedule a date on the same night you have plans with a friend!
Phoebe: Oh right, like theyre gonna let me have a passport.
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
Chandler: Well you see in Cups, once you get $700, you have to double it.
Rachel: This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.
Joey: That sketch you mentioned? Might it have looked a little something like this? (He shows her what hes been drawing.)
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Joey: Oh whoa-whoa wait a minute! I have to do it?!
Ross: Well Im jumping! I have a son! Okay? He wont have a father if-if I die!
Joey: What? No! No Ross! No-no! Stop! Im not jumping! Okay, look I have an audition tomorrow and I cant go if I break my leg.
Monica: It's not just the drum noise. Every five minutes, Joey throws his sticks in the air, and I have to hear, "Oh my eye! Oh god, my eye!" I mean, it is so annoying.
Tag: How could I have left them in the copy room?
Monica: So the wedding caterer sent me this list of twelve appetizers and I have to narrow it down to six.
Rachel: Well you have to because maybe its stupid.
ROSS: Yeah. And you should hold out for something bigger. I can't tell you how much respect I have for you not going to that stupid cab driver audition.
Phoebe: Yeah! What have you got to lose? Yknow you might even end up with someone really special (whispers) if you pick my guy.
Monica: I have to be up in seven minutes.
Chandler: Well, youre not gonna believe this, but if you have seven minutes
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
Phoebe: No. (Pause) Oh wait yes! I do, I do have one question. What is toner?
Supervisor: So, I think youre ready to sell toner, do you have any last questions?
The Woman: Please! I have people coming from out of town today! And, I told them all about your candy!
Ross: Okay, do-do you have a good grip?
Chandler: Little?! You freaked out big time! Okay? And I fixed it! We have switched places! I am the relationship and king and you are the crazy, irrational screw up! (Does a dance of joy.) (Monica glares at him.) And now we're back.
Phoebe: (doesnt have any luck) Umm, is-is that because youre out of toner?
Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? (Wags his finger at Chandler, then puts it down) But.. we don't have to go down that road.
Phoebe: Ooh, I have tasted my own medicine and it is bitter!
Chandler: Wow! (To the sock bunny still on his hand.) You are way to young to have seen that!
Ross: (talking agitated and angry) Everyone gets a goodbye but me? What have I got to do to get a goodbye, huh? Be best friends with you? Uh, go out with you? Have a baby with you? Oh wait a minute, wait a minute, I did all those things.
Rachel: Okay, um, I...(Phoebe walks into her room.) All right Phoebe look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. OK? I handled the situation horribly and I should not have lied to you.
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Chandler: Okay, I will do it. But I have to warn you; this may make me a better person and that is not the man you feel in love with!
Tag: Come on, lets have some fun. Huh? (To Rachel) What do you want to do today?
Phoebe: Oh, well get in line missy. (To Ross) So, can I have a ride stud?
Joey: So yknow Ross its funny cause, you look familiar to me too. Have you ever been married?
Ross: We have 8:00 reservations at Grammercy Bistero.
Monica: Oh no! My parents have never seen me drunk! (Pause) That they know of.
Ross: Well yes, yes I have. In fact umm, just the other day Kristen and I were talking about how Ive been married and how I have a son.
Chandler: (laughing) Okay we have to do something about your breath.
Phoebe: But then we ditch those two and thats when we get married. Well have Chandlers money and Rachels kids and getting custody will be easy because of Rachels drinking problem.
Phoebe: You have your birth certificate?
Phoebe: Do you have my birth certificate?
Monica: Well, I�ll tell you what we�re gonna do: We are already late for Phoebe�s birthday dinner, so you point out put out that cigarette, we�re gonna put this fight on hold and go have sex.
Rachel: As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
Monica: All right guys stop it. Rachel, were very sorry that is a very insensitive thing for us to do. And yknow what? Let us make it up to you, we have two really great guys for you.
Monica: All I have is, is oregano and a Fresca.
Phoebe: Dont you see? Everyones looking at me! The plans working! I didnt even have to take off my top yet!
Ross: Hey! That was a practical purchase! I needed that car for transportation! Okay? I-I have a child!
Ross: I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say?
Ross: Yeah, I kind of uh, have something else planned for you guys.
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
Joey: Have you ever slept in the same bed as a monkey?!
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Chandler: We have heard you play.
Joey: Fine! Have you ever got stuck in a pair of your own leather pants?!
Phoebe: Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
Rachel: (turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.
Ross: now remember you have to imagine me in a kilt.
Rachel/actress: But what choice did I have. He was keeping my sister in a dungeon!
Ross: Hi, we have a little bathroom emergency.
Ben: Im not allowed to have soda.
Rachel: (fake disappointment) All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big!
Phoebe: Well you all know that I'm a pacifist so I'm not interested in war in any way. (Gets up) But y'know what? When the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you all. (Starts to leave.) (To Joey) Not you Joey.
Monica: Well then we still have a problem.
Phoebe: Oo! You should have one of us do it!
Phoebe: Oh, I have a headache. A horrible headache!
Ross: I have a bone to pick with you.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
Monica: Oh. I guess you can. Okay but; I-I have to return it, so you cant like it.
Rachel: No!! You are getting married! This is all I have.
Chandler: Well, stuff like where we'd live, y'know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y'know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
Joey: Well no, Im just in a coma. This must mean I have lines! (Realizes what that means.) Oh
Chandler: Y'know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper? Okay? I'm anything but a dropper. (We see various scenes of him dropping a football, a mug of coffee, the phone, an apple, a Frisbee, a record, and the final scene has a ball bouncing off of his chest. I'm not going to describe them, you'll have to see them.)
Joey: (laughs) Yeah! Right! (points at Monica) People eat birds... Bird meat... Now do they just fly into your mouth or you go to... you go to a restaurant and you say: "Excuse me, I'll have a bucket of fried bird." (laughs again) Or... or maybe just a wing or... (realises...)
Phoebe: Youll have a last kiss.
Rachel: Now Joey remember, if you win you have to hug me! You hug me!
Rachel: I know! My God! Do you have your speech?
Rachel: Joey! Why did we have to rush out of there so fast?!
Rachel: Joey, you have got to take this back!
Joey: (opening his door) If I cant have it you cant have it! (Rachel walks away angrily.)
Monica: Have you seen Chandler?
Chandler: (looking at them) They look great! Does your boyfriend have the best taste or what?
Joey: I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna (grimaces and tenses up) pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her.
Monica: (yelling after them) I cant believe youre gonna have sex on my engagement night!!
Rachel: (entering from her room) Honey, we have to go. Our reservations are at 8:00.
Rachel: Well I was gonna tell him that Im-Im gonna have the baby and he can be as involved as he wants.
Ross: So what! I still haveNo youre probably right.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Oh my God! We have to throw her a shower?!
Phoebe: I have liver damage. Ow! Oh! (She grabs the left side of her torso.)
Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)
Phoebe: Well when can we have this shower?
Rachel: She has got so much going on we-we have only two options. We have Friday
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Rachel: Have at it.
Rachel: (To Phoebe, after Monicas gone) We have to get her a present?!
Ross: Uh-huh. Yeah I-I have a knack for impressions.