words in movies
Phoebe: Why, I must have been in missile training the day they taught that.
Chandler: (to Rachel) You know what I just realized? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow.
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Phoebe: I don't have a fax machine.
Chandler: Mike didn't tell you? You have to chose one of us to be in your wedding. One of his groomsmen fell out.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today.
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Phoebe: All right, I guess I'll have to find a new bridesmaid.
Mike: Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom?
Monica: (very serious) It's 2101 and I am not amused. (pause). Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. (Everyone sits and Phoebe gets up)
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
Joey: Oh, man! I wouldn't have had breakfast if I knew there was going to be corsages!
Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
Ross: You haven't by any chance chosen a groomsman yet, have you?
Joey: May I have a word with you, please?
Joey: Have a seat. (Mike sits on his bed, and Joey towers over him. He starts talking in an Italian godfather-type voice) Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... (shakes his head) I cannot allow this.
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want?
Mike: That must have been one lousy movie.
Phoebe: No! We're gonna do it my way. (listens) Because your way is stupid! Alright I gotta go, I have another call, Reverend. (switches calls) Hello?
Ross: (barely containing himself at this point) Well, you have fun tonight.
Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. (he winks at her and Rachel looks disgusted)
Rachel: (sarcastic) Wow, this is a tough one. I think I'm gonna have to go with the dog.
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
Monica: (checking her clipboard) I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours.
Rachel: Geez Ross, you could have showered.
Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She puts the ring on Mikes finger)
Phoebe: Oh wait, oh I forgot... and uhm... I love you... and you have nice eyes.
Chandler: I'd love to, but it's 2300 hours and I'm about to have the most organized sex anyone's ever had.
Rachel: I don't know, I'm not trying to do anything, it's just, we have such a good time when we're together, you know... I mean, aren't you just a... little curious... (insinuating) what that would be like?...
Monica: (following her) Phoebe! I have to have those earrings, we're going to leave as soon as the show is over.
Chandler: This sounds like a hernia. You have toyou-you go to the doctor!
Phoebe: No he wont. And thats not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now yknow what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I dont have my principles, I dont have anything!
Ross: Oh-oh, guess what? I-I have a date with Elizabeth (Talking into Chandler's ear.) Hornswoggle.
Joey: Sure you do, it was a gift from me. Oh! And you have these three great kids.
Luisa: Well, maybe that's because you spent four years ignoring me. I mean, would it have been so hard to say 'Morning, Luisa'? Or 'Nice overalls'?
Phoebe: Have you really done this before?
Monica: Hi. Uh, my friend here was taking down our Christmas lights, and and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or or ankle or something.
Chandler: Well, you couldnt have looked everywhere or else you wouldve found her!
Phoebe: Another lie. You have a sickness!
Benjamin: I've come here to apologize. I think I may have let my feelings for Charlie interfere with the interview process.
Phoebe: Well, okay, fine, use my happy place. Okay, I'm just gonna, I have to ask that you don't move anything.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Umm, do you guys have any juice?
Rachel: Come on, this isnt funny. She thinks its my fault that you havent called her. You have to call her!
Chandler: Youre right, I have no excuses! I was totally over the line.
RACH: What? [looks, feigns indifference] C'mon you guys, I don't care, I have a date tonight.
Chandler: Shocking! Since you still have the keys.
Monica: Have you lost your mind? Chandler, this isn't about me! This is about you and all your weird relationship commitment crap!
MONICA: Really Phoebs? Because, you know, you'd have to be an actual waitress. This can't be like your 'I can be a bear cub' thing.
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
Joey: I don't know whether it's just 'cause we're breakin' up or... what, but you have never looked so beautiful.
Chandler: Alright, you did it! Do we have any fruit?
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. (points at Chandler, who holds up the cue ball as a Remember me? thing) Listen, can we please have lunch the next time Im in the city?
Monica: Joey, you know you dont actually have one.
Chandler: Well, have you guys made anything that maybe I can take credit for?
Monica: (laughs) Thats right. My Mom doesnt have any faith in me! Oh, thats hilarious! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.
Monica: Well, if you dont have anything to copy, why are you going down there?
Phoebe: Ooh, oh, I've gotta go. (raises) Whoa, oh, head rush. One more, and then I have to go. (sits down, and then raises again) Cool!
Mark: (reaching through the flowers) Do you have the, the Ralph Lauren file?
Earl: Its just that I uh, have been working for ten years now at this meaningless, dead-end job and nobody here even knows I exist!
Phoebe: I have plans.
Chandler: Oh nope, I-I have plans with Joey.
Phoebe: I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just dont even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffeeOh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will.
Phoebe: Well, this doesnt have to be so sad though. Yknow? Maybe instead of just thinking about how much youre gonna miss each other, you should like think of the things youre not gonna miss.
Rachel: I have one.
Rachel: Hey, yknow what? Youre the one who wants to make this big change and move in with Chandler! You should be the one to go! Why should I have to leave?!
BIG BULLY: Don't do that to yourself. Any one of us could have tripped over that little girls jump-rope.
Joey: Well, what did you have?
Pete: And I feel like Ive conquered the business world, and I feel like Ive conquered the intellectual world, and now I-I have the most beautiful woman in the world.
Ross: Well, Im sorry, but ah, look if youre not working with him anymore, why do you have to still do stuff with him?
Rachel: Look he doesnt have any brothers or sisters, somebodys gonna have to teach him this stuff! And I havent taught him anything that a normal 6-year-old doesnt know anyway!
Rachel: Oh! I have your key. Here you go. (Hands it to Monica.)
Joey: All right, we have to pick captains.
Chandler: You couldn't have at least changed your shirt.
Chandler: Four hours? You guys have been doing this for four hours?
Monica: Terrible. If-if I want something done right, I have to do it myself. Other people just wreck stuff. I really think I might kill someone tonight.
Rachel: Monica, you dont even have a bed, you sleep in a ball on the floor!
Chandler: Man, I'm so lucky I have Monica.
Phoebe: So, what should you have done?
Ross: Why does anyone have to be naked?
Chandler: I figure that $1,500 would cover him for a few months, yknow? But I have to trick him into taking it so I wont hurt his pride.
Ross: Dude, what'd you have?
Ross: Yeah-yeah I uh, I have a uh, a guy problem.
Ross: So really, what'd ya have?
Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?
Ross: I have an oily T-zone!
Phoebe: All right, I'd better go too. I have to go talk to my dad.
Julie: Oh, listen you guys. I have this friend at Bloomingdale's who's quitting tomorrow and he wants to abuse his discount. So, anyone want to come with me and take advantage of it?
Joey: No, no no no no. See. Each woman is different.You have to appreciate their uniqueness.
Rachel: No, Monica! Monica! We have to fix this!
Joey: Like this. (pointing to the picture) Pictures of cute babies we dont know. We..we cant have that.
Rachel: Okay Ross, werewait a minute. Umm, I uh, I kinda have a little confession.
Ross: Thanks. Yeah, Carol borrowed it for a class, and I have to get it back to the museum.
Ross: But, wont she notice I have makeup on?
Rachel: Monica and Chandler are really moving in here and I have to move out and everything is changing.
Ross: Im just saying if you cant eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Ross: Oh yeah? Have you ever dated anyone who has been divorced three times?
{Y'know, sometimes I think the script writers throw in a line like that to try to trip me up. But it won't work. I'll always have the last laugh! <manical_laugh.wav> Okay, so maybe I'm a little deluded, it's probably just my spellchecker. But, I must admit I did get Mesozoic and Paleozoic on the first attempt. Yay me! Anyhoo }
Gary: Hey Joe does it have meatballs on it?
Joey: That, is not a cat! {I have to agree with Joey on this one.}
Monica: (getting up) All right, Im gonna go to work. Does anybody have a problem with that?
Monica: Why would I say anything? That two of our best friends could start the greatest love affair of their lives! And they would have me to thank, and we could all start having babies?
Monica: Yeah, you have to go fight for her!
Joey: Oh hey, do you still have their final exams?
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
Joey: Okay, look, I think we have to tell Rachel she messed up her dessert.
Rachel: Alright, Monica, I want you to have the first taste.
Rachel: I mean, y'know I'm just gonna have to accept it (She grabs the rest of the pictures)
Phoebe: No. No! It's just y'know first, I wanna take off all my clothes and have you rub lotion on me.
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Ross: (squatting and reading the instructions) I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
Janice: Uh-oh-okay. Uh-oh-okay. I know what you all are thinking. But Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman! I have needs! I can't wait forever!
(Rachel rips off another one, revealing another hole. Rachel then moves onto a third one, but this one doesnt have a hole underneath it.)
Estelle: Well, I think uhh, someone out there may have been bad mouthing you all over town.
Phoebe: But we have to!
Chandler: No, you dont have to, and you cant because I live here too.
Phoebe: Ooh ooh, we have a live one!
MONICA: Yeah. You're just gonna have to stop pissing me off.
Phoebe: I dont want to go into the whole thing, but umm, we have words and I kill him.
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Monica: Have you guys picked a date yet?
Ross: So, do we really have to ask whos going up on the platform next?
(They start the routine. However hard I try, I really cannot describe it. You will have to watch it. Im sorry.)
Chandler: Shes moving on! Okay, if its not this guy, its gonna be somebody else! And unless youre thinking about subletting my peep hole, you are going to have to get used to the fact that the relationship is over! Okay, man? Its over.
Ross: You know what, I think weve had all the bad luck were going to have. (He hugs her.)
Rachel: I dont know. Do-do you have any clothes on?
Monica: Honey, we have been through this before!
Joey: Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well thats a