words in movies
Phoebe: Why, I must have been in missile training the day they taught that.
Chandler: (to Rachel) You know what I just realized? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow.
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Phoebe: I don't have a fax machine.
Chandler: Mike didn't tell you? You have to chose one of us to be in your wedding. One of his groomsmen fell out.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today.
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Phoebe: All right, I guess I'll have to find a new bridesmaid.
Mike: Do I have a minute to go to the bathroom?
Monica: (very serious) It's 2101 and I am not amused. (pause). Ok, the bride and groom have a few words they'd like to say. (Everyone sits and Phoebe gets up)
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Rachel: Ok-dokey, Joey, listen. This is gonna be bridesmaid central, all right? We're gonna have hair and make-up going on in the bathroom and oh, I had to move a couple of things in the fridge to make room for the corsages.
Joey: Oh, man! I wouldn't have had breakfast if I knew there was going to be corsages!
Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Ross: I have to talk to her about this groomsman situation, ok? I'm not gonna watch Chandler up there while I'm sitting in the seats like some chump! (he goes to Rachel's room, knocks the door and enters the room). (very fake gasp) Oh! My God! You're breathtaking!
Ross: You haven't by any chance chosen a groomsman yet, have you?
Joey: May I have a word with you, please?
Joey: Have a seat. (Mike sits on his bed, and Joey towers over him. He starts talking in an Italian godfather-type voice) Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... (shakes his head) I cannot allow this.
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want?
Mike: That must have been one lousy movie.
Phoebe: No! We're gonna do it my way. (listens) Because your way is stupid! Alright I gotta go, I have another call, Reverend. (switches calls) Hello?
Ross: (barely containing himself at this point) Well, you have fun tonight.
Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. (he winks at her and Rachel looks disgusted)
Rachel: (sarcastic) Wow, this is a tough one. I think I'm gonna have to go with the dog.
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
Monica: (checking her clipboard) I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours.
Rachel: Geez Ross, you could have showered.
Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She puts the ring on Mikes finger)
Phoebe: Oh wait, oh I forgot... and uhm... I love you... and you have nice eyes.
Chandler: I'd love to, but it's 2300 hours and I'm about to have the most organized sex anyone's ever had.
Monica: Well, I�ll tell you what we�re gonna do: We are already late for Phoebe�s birthday dinner, so you point out put out that cigarette, we�re gonna put this fight on hold and go have sex.
Rachel: As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
Monica: All right guys stop it. Rachel, were very sorry that is a very insensitive thing for us to do. And yknow what? Let us make it up to you, we have two really great guys for you.
Monica: All I have is, is oregano and a Fresca.
Phoebe: Dont you see? Everyones looking at me! The plans working! I didnt even have to take off my top yet!
Ross: Hey! That was a practical purchase! I needed that car for transportation! Okay? I-I have a child!
Ross: I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say?
Ross: Yeah, I kind of uh, have something else planned for you guys.
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
Joey: Have you ever slept in the same bed as a monkey?!
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Chandler: We have heard you play.
Joey: Fine! Have you ever got stuck in a pair of your own leather pants?!
Phoebe: Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
Rachel: (turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.
Ross: now remember you have to imagine me in a kilt.
Rachel/actress: But what choice did I have. He was keeping my sister in a dungeon!
Ross: Hi, we have a little bathroom emergency.
Ben: Im not allowed to have soda.
Rachel: (fake disappointment) All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big!
Phoebe: Well you all know that I'm a pacifist so I'm not interested in war in any way. (Gets up) But y'know what? When the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you all. (Starts to leave.) (To Joey) Not you Joey.
Monica: Well then we still have a problem.
Phoebe: Oo! You should have one of us do it!
Phoebe: Oh, I have a headache. A horrible headache!
Ross: I have a bone to pick with you.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
Monica: Oh. I guess you can. Okay but; I-I have to return it, so you cant like it.
Rachel: No!! You are getting married! This is all I have.
Chandler: Well, stuff like where we'd live, y'know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y'know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
Joey: Well no, Im just in a coma. This must mean I have lines! (Realizes what that means.) Oh
Chandler: Y'know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper? Okay? I'm anything but a dropper. (We see various scenes of him dropping a football, a mug of coffee, the phone, an apple, a Frisbee, a record, and the final scene has a ball bouncing off of his chest. I'm not going to describe them, you'll have to see them.)
Joey: (laughs) Yeah! Right! (points at Monica) People eat birds... Bird meat... Now do they just fly into your mouth or you go to... you go to a restaurant and you say: "Excuse me, I'll have a bucket of fried bird." (laughs again) Or... or maybe just a wing or... (realises...)
Phoebe: Youll have a last kiss.
Rachel: Now Joey remember, if you win you have to hug me! You hug me!
Rachel: I know! My God! Do you have your speech?
Rachel: Joey! Why did we have to rush out of there so fast?!
Rachel: Joey, you have got to take this back!
Joey: (opening his door) If I cant have it you cant have it! (Rachel walks away angrily.)
Monica: Have you seen Chandler?
Chandler: (looking at them) They look great! Does your boyfriend have the best taste or what?
Joey: I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna (grimaces and tenses up) pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her.
Monica: (yelling after them) I cant believe youre gonna have sex on my engagement night!!
Rachel: (entering from her room) Honey, we have to go. Our reservations are at 8:00.
Rachel: Well I was gonna tell him that Im-Im gonna have the baby and he can be as involved as he wants.
Ross: So what! I still haveNo youre probably right.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Oh my God! We have to throw her a shower?!
Phoebe: I have liver damage. Ow! Oh! (She grabs the left side of her torso.)
Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)
Phoebe: Well when can we have this shower?
Rachel: She has got so much going on we-we have only two options. We have Friday
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Rachel: Have at it.
Rachel: (To Phoebe, after Monicas gone) We have to get her a present?!
Ross: Uh-huh. Yeah I-I have a knack for impressions.
Monica: Okay, all right dont judge me to much. Okay? Um, but I saw this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before, except for this mop. But there was this stuff on leg waxing, it just, it looked so amazing....
Phoebe: Its so weird, I have never been fired from anything before!
Joey: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! We have a winner!
Doctor: Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.
Monica: You know, I know that things could still go wrong but if they don't? If this works out, we're gonna have a baby Chandler, a baby!
Ross: So its really a question of who could you have possibly done.
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!
Melissa: Listen, we-we have to have dinner. What-what are you doing tomorrow night?
Chandler: This is so sad. I mean, I only have like ten pins.
Rachel: Oh, yknow what? I cant. I have to have dinner with that Melissa girl.
Monica: They wouldnt have put it there if it didnt do something! How can you not care?
Joey: Listen I uh (He takes her hand.) Its a scary world out there especially if youre a single mom. Yknow, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Yknow? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me?
Rachel: Okay. Uhh, Ross, y'know what, there's something that I-that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong.
Melissa: Oh wow, Ray-ray I have no idea what youre talking about.
Monica: Have you ever been to one of my weddings?
Chandler: Hey, I'm sorry, I should have given you guys my black book when I got married! Although it wasn't so much a book as a... napkin. With Janice's phone number on it.
Chandler: Oh, I have to get married in James Bonds tux!
Monica: Sweetie, you know I have no sense of humor when it comes to the wedding.
Monica: Theres still so much to do. Have you written your vows yet?
Chandler: Right. So uh, have you written yours yet?
Ross: Look at you! WhatYoure-youre this big executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I-I have no doubt youre gonna be an incredible mother.
Rachel: Hey, what have you guys been up to?
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
Rachel: Dr. Long, Ive been at this for seventeen hours! Three women have come and gone with their babies, you gotta give me some good news! How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?
Chandler: (swallowing hard) It's very, very nice. Well, come here. I'm very happy were gonna have all the sex.
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Okay! You win! You win!! I can't have sex with ya!
Phoebe: (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross, how many parents have you lost?
Monica: Phoebe, yknow why dont we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake?
Monica: When girls hang out, we dont have pillow fights in our underwear. (Chandler gets a hurt look on his face.) Im sorry. We do. We do. I dont know why I said that.
Joey: (starting to cry) I have never known love like this.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
Phoebe: Grandmas gonna have to get in line.
Joey: So! You and Phoebe huh? How long have you been going out?
Phoebe: Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother.
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Ross: (shocked) You dont have a valid drivers licenseOkay that is it! Pull over right now!
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Joey: Hey Rach, listen I was thinkin uh, Im gonna have an extra room over at my place
Rachel: (pause) You have a son!
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
Frank: No, its okay. Were-were gonna have three kids! And thats-thats a different kind of dream. Three kids and no money.
ROSS: Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
Joey: We have to find the rest of the platoon!
Joey: (wipes face) So what are we gonna do?! We have no reinforcements! No-no food!