words in movies
CHANDLER: Ok, you can have it. [He licks it and offers it to her.]
PHOEBE: Yeah, I met him when I was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change.
PHOEBE: No. No, he is my submaring guy. He resurfaces like every couple years and we have the most amazing three days together. Only this time he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means yay.
MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
CHANDLER: It's not that hard to learn. And as for people realizing you have no idea what you're doing, hey, you're an actor. Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.
MONICA: It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnicles on your butt.
PHOEBE: Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.
PHOEBE: 'Cause my, my grandmother's never had chicken pox. Please, please tell me you have, 'cause oh my God, I forgot how cute you are.
PHOEBE: Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
RYAN: Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]
CHANDLER: Really? Wow. That's some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there.
ROSS: You know, I might have expected this of you Phoebe, but Ryan, you're a military man.
JOEY: You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Karen'll pack a lunch, you'll bring the kids, we'll make a day of it.
JEANNIE: Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.
MR. DOUGLAS: I have a family, I'm gonna be here.
MR. DOUGLAS: Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday.
RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
MONICA: No. You don't have any of these cute little obsessive things.
MONICA: You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
CHANDLER: Oh well it's not me, it's my character, Chandy. Yeah the rogue processor who seduces his co-worker's wives for sport and then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler. In fact, I have her panties right there in my drawer.
RICHARD: Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.
MONICA: No honey. You have to sleep on this side of the bed because I have to sleep on this side of the bed.
RICHARD: Or so I would have you believe.
MONICA: No. Big deal, so you have a side of the bed, everybody has a side of the bed.
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
ROSS: So do you have like any nuclear weapons on board?
Rachel: (They both look behind them.) Well, I'd have to say gay.
Joey: Have you ever slept in the same bed as a monkey?!
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Chandler: We have heard you play.
Joey: Fine! Have you ever got stuck in a pair of your own leather pants?!
Phoebe: Rachel, listenI mean, if you let me have him then I will really owe you one.
Rachel: (turning and looking at Tom again) No-no they do but, you just have to wait.
Ross: now remember you have to imagine me in a kilt.
Rachel/actress: But what choice did I have. He was keeping my sister in a dungeon!
Ross: Hi, we have a little bathroom emergency.
Ben: Im not allowed to have soda.
Rachel: (fake disappointment) All right. All right Phoebe I will let you have him, but you owe me; you owe me big!
Phoebe: Well you all know that I'm a pacifist so I'm not interested in war in any way. (Gets up) But y'know what? When the revolution comes, I will have to destroy you all. (Starts to leave.) (To Joey) Not you Joey.
Monica: Well then we still have a problem.
Phoebe: Oo! You should have one of us do it!
Phoebe: Oh, I have a headache. A horrible headache!
Ross: I have a bone to pick with you.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
Monica: Oh. I guess you can. Okay but; I-I have to return it, so you cant like it.
Rachel: No!! You are getting married! This is all I have.
Chandler: Well, stuff like where we'd live, y'know? Like a small place outside the city, where our kids could learn to ride their bikes and stuff. Y'know, we could have a cat that had a bell on its collar and we could hear it every time it ran through the little kitty door. Of course, we'd have an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old.
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
Joey: Well no, Im just in a coma. This must mean I have lines! (Realizes what that means.) Oh
Chandler: Y'know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper? Okay? I'm anything but a dropper. (We see various scenes of him dropping a football, a mug of coffee, the phone, an apple, a Frisbee, a record, and the final scene has a ball bouncing off of his chest. I'm not going to describe them, you'll have to see them.)
Joey: (laughs) Yeah! Right! (points at Monica) People eat birds... Bird meat... Now do they just fly into your mouth or you go to... you go to a restaurant and you say: "Excuse me, I'll have a bucket of fried bird." (laughs again) Or... or maybe just a wing or... (realises...)
Phoebe: Youll have a last kiss.
Rachel: Now Joey remember, if you win you have to hug me! You hug me!
Rachel: I know! My God! Do you have your speech?
Rachel: Joey! Why did we have to rush out of there so fast?!
Rachel: Joey, you have got to take this back!
Joey: (opening his door) If I cant have it you cant have it! (Rachel walks away angrily.)
Monica: Have you seen Chandler?
Chandler: (looking at them) They look great! Does your boyfriend have the best taste or what?
Joey: I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna (grimaces and tenses up) pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her.
Monica: (yelling after them) I cant believe youre gonna have sex on my engagement night!!
Rachel: (entering from her room) Honey, we have to go. Our reservations are at 8:00.
Rachel: Well I was gonna tell him that Im-Im gonna have the baby and he can be as involved as he wants.
Ross: So what! I still haveNo youre probably right.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Oh my God! We have to throw her a shower?!
Phoebe: I have liver damage. Ow! Oh! (She grabs the left side of her torso.)
Phoebe: Listen! You have to help me pick a dress 'cause I'm meeting Mike's parents tonight! (Rachel gasps)
Phoebe: Well when can we have this shower?
Rachel: She has got so much going on we-we have only two options. We have Friday
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Rachel: Have at it.
Rachel: (To Phoebe, after Monicas gone) We have to get her a present?!
Ross: Uh-huh. Yeah I-I have a knack for impressions.
Monica: Okay, all right dont judge me to much. Okay? Um, but I saw this info-mercial, and um, I swear to you I have never-ever bought anything on TV before, except for this mop. But there was this stuff on leg waxing, it just, it looked so amazing....
Phoebe: Its so weird, I have never been fired from anything before!
Joey: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! We have a winner!
Doctor: Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.
Monica: You know, I know that things could still go wrong but if they don't? If this works out, we're gonna have a baby Chandler, a baby!
Ross: So its really a question of who could you have possibly done.
Chandler: Mr. and Mrs. Geller, you look wonderful, it is great to have you hear, let us take off your coats!
Melissa: Listen, we-we have to have dinner. What-what are you doing tomorrow night?
Chandler: This is so sad. I mean, I only have like ten pins.
Rachel: Oh, yknow what? I cant. I have to have dinner with that Melissa girl.
Monica: They wouldnt have put it there if it didnt do something! How can you not care?
Joey: Listen I uh (He takes her hand.) Its a scary world out there especially if youre a single mom. Yknow, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Yknow? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me?
Rachel: Okay. Uhh, Ross, y'know what, there's something that I-that I have to talk to you about and everybody's saying that I shouldn't tell you, but I think they're wrong. I mean, and you know how people can be wrong.
Melissa: Oh wow, Ray-ray I have no idea what youre talking about.
Monica: Have you ever been to one of my weddings?
Chandler: Hey, I'm sorry, I should have given you guys my black book when I got married! Although it wasn't so much a book as a... napkin. With Janice's phone number on it.
Chandler: Oh, I have to get married in James Bonds tux!
Monica: Sweetie, you know I have no sense of humor when it comes to the wedding.
Monica: Theres still so much to do. Have you written your vows yet?
Chandler: Right. So uh, have you written yours yet?
Ross: Look at you! WhatYoure-youre this big executive! You are much more capable than you give yourself credit for. I-I have no doubt youre gonna be an incredible mother.
Rachel: Hey, what have you guys been up to?
Joey: But it is a big deal!! I have to tell someone!
Rachel: Yes, I know! And Joey knows! But Ross doesn't know so you have to stop screaming!!
Rachel: Dr. Long, Ive been at this for seventeen hours! Three women have come and gone with their babies, you gotta give me some good news! How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?
Chandler: (swallowing hard) It's very, very nice. Well, come here. I'm very happy were gonna have all the sex.
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Okay! You win! You win!! I can't have sex with ya!
Phoebe: (she turns around and puts the cat on the entertainment center) Ross, how many parents have you lost?
Monica: Phoebe, yknow why dont we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake?
Monica: When girls hang out, we dont have pillow fights in our underwear. (Chandler gets a hurt look on his face.) Im sorry. We do. We do. I dont know why I said that.
Joey: (starting to cry) I have never known love like this.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
Phoebe: Grandmas gonna have to get in line.
Joey: So! You and Phoebe huh? How long have you been going out?
Phoebe: Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother.
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Ross: (shocked) You dont have a valid drivers licenseOkay that is it! Pull over right now!
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Joey: Hey Rach, listen I was thinkin uh, Im gonna have an extra room over at my place
Rachel: (pause) You have a son!
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
Frank: No, its okay. Were-were gonna have three kids! And thats-thats a different kind of dream. Three kids and no money.
ROSS: Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
Joey: We have to find the rest of the platoon!
Joey: (wipes face) So what are we gonna do?! We have no reinforcements! No-no food!
Chandler: Okay, here you go. (He deals out two cards each.) I have two queens, what do you have?
Chandler: Well you dont have to sound so surprised.
Chandler: Wait a minute! I have a date tomorrow night.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Monica: (laughs) I dont have anything like that, but let me go see if Rachel does.
Rachel: Because youre not finished yet and I wont have it! Greens do not quit!
Joey: Hey! Where have you been?
Joey: Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason.