words in movies
CHANDLER: Ok, you can have it. [He licks it and offers it to her.]
PHOEBE: Yeah, I met him when I was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change.
PHOEBE: No. No, he is my submaring guy. He resurfaces like every couple years and we have the most amazing three days together. Only this time he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means yay.
MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
CHANDLER: It's not that hard to learn. And as for people realizing you have no idea what you're doing, hey, you're an actor. Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.
MONICA: It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnicles on your butt.
PHOEBE: Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.
PHOEBE: 'Cause my, my grandmother's never had chicken pox. Please, please tell me you have, 'cause oh my God, I forgot how cute you are.
PHOEBE: Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
RYAN: Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]
CHANDLER: Really? Wow. That's some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there.
ROSS: You know, I might have expected this of you Phoebe, but Ryan, you're a military man.
JOEY: You and Milton have to join us on the boat. Karen'll pack a lunch, you'll bring the kids, we'll make a day of it.
JEANNIE: Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.
MR. DOUGLAS: I have a family, I'm gonna be here.
MR. DOUGLAS: Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday.
RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
MONICA: No. You don't have any of these cute little obsessive things.
MONICA: You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
CHANDLER: Oh well it's not me, it's my character, Chandy. Yeah the rogue processor who seduces his co-worker's wives for sport and then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler. In fact, I have her panties right there in my drawer.
RICHARD: Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.
MONICA: No honey. You have to sleep on this side of the bed because I have to sleep on this side of the bed.
RICHARD: Or so I would have you believe.
MONICA: No. Big deal, so you have a side of the bed, everybody has a side of the bed.
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
ROSS: So do you have like any nuclear weapons on board?
Monica: Phoebe, yknow why dont we just go upstairs and have some birthday cake?
Monica: When girls hang out, we dont have pillow fights in our underwear. (Chandler gets a hurt look on his face.) Im sorry. We do. We do. I dont know why I said that.
Joey: (starting to cry) I have never known love like this.
[Scene: The Restaurant, Monica and Chandlers and Richard and Lisas tables have been pushed together and theyre all eating and talking.]
Phoebe: Grandmas gonna have to get in line.
Joey: So! You and Phoebe huh? How long have you been going out?
Phoebe: Oh let me guess, and you wanna have them all at the same time and you wanna have them for your brother.
Monica: (telling Chandler the seating arrangement) Okay so this is where the band is. (Points.) And this is where the bar is. (Points) And all these pins have peoples names on them. (She has pins to show the seating at each of the tables.) And Rach, here you are. (Points to Rachels place.)
Ross: (shocked) You dont have a valid drivers licenseOkay that is it! Pull over right now!
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Joey: Hey Rach, listen I was thinkin uh, Im gonna have an extra room over at my place
Rachel: (pause) You have a son!
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
Frank: No, its okay. Were-were gonna have three kids! And thats-thats a different kind of dream. Three kids and no money.
ROSS: Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
Joey: We have to find the rest of the platoon!
Joey: (wipes face) So what are we gonna do?! We have no reinforcements! No-no food!
Chandler: Okay, here you go. (He deals out two cards each.) I have two queens, what do you have?
Chandler: Well you dont have to sound so surprised.
Chandler: Wait a minute! I have a date tomorrow night.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Monica: (laughs) I dont have anything like that, but let me go see if Rachel does.
Rachel: Because youre not finished yet and I wont have it! Greens do not quit!
Joey: Hey! Where have you been?
Joey: Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason.
Ross: Gunther have you uh, have you seen Chandler?
Rachel: No, she had to have just taken that test because I took out the trash last night.
Monica: Any woman would be lucky to have ya.
Ross: Shes fine. She doesnt know youre gone. And she doesnt have to know, okay? Now come on, were going home.
Rachel: Okay now Joey, y'know that since you're returning all of this stuff right after the audition you're gonna have to wear underwear?
Ross: Umm, he said he thought I was funny. So (Rachel stares at him.) Okay, look-look umm, let's just go downstairs, we'll have some fun, and you will forget all about it.
Phoebe: (entering) Found the vest! I mean were gonna have to keep an eye on it, yknow make sure we dont lose it again
Rachel: Yeah. Just, if its possible, could you leave him somewhere and go have sex with another guy?
Richard: You wouldnt happen to have a very big fork?
Richard: Well have we finished the scene?
Ross: Then where the hell have you been?!
Rachel: Oh thank you! (Wiping her nose.) Oh God! (She throws it out.) Can I have another one?
PHOEBE: Oh good, ok. Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my um, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun bye.
Ross: Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history, and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch. Now, I look around this cafeteria, and yknow what I see, I see-I see division. Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, "My God why?!" Now, I say we shed these-these coats that separate us, and we get to know the people underneath. (He takes off his coat and throws it down.) Im Ross! Im divorced, and I have a kid!
Ross: Momentary lapse. Dont-dont you have any self-control?
Chandler: I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in.
Ross: (grabbing a notepad and sitting down) All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
Chandler: Nah-uh! I know you! Okay? I know the thoughts that you have in the head--in your head!
Phoebe: Oh and theyre gonna have a baby.
Monica: We have a baby?
Monica: (getting up) Im gonna go put my make up on, we have to be at the hotel in an hour! (Starts for the bathroom.)
Ross: I don't know, but I.. Look, even if she shoots me down, at least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened. Where - where is my coat?!
Joey: I wish I could but I just found out that I have to be at work really early the next day, so I can't go, but, you know, take the extra ticket and invite whoever you want.
Chandler: Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile!
Ross: I have shown you everything we have. Unless you want your mother to spend eternity in a lemon yellow pant-suit, go with the burgundy.
Rachel: Oh! Oh! Can I give out the candy? I really want to be with the kids right now. Yknow, ever since I got pregnant I-I have the strongest maternal instincts.
Matt: I have had some clumsy moments I guess you can call em.
Conan: Matthew, you have a reputation with the rest of the cast that sometimes you like to, you like to fool around a bit. I mean like if somethings naturally going wrong you like to get in there and juice it a little bit. True or false?
Monica: Chandler come on. We have to hem the new dust ruffle.
Rachel: Oh, I know it. Youre right. Thats not sexy. Oh Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but cant quite seem to make it.) Oh God!
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Monica: Just, I love you so much. Just Its just sometimes it bothers me that Im never gonna have that feeling. Yknow when you meet someone for the first time and its new and exciting? Yknow that rush?
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!
Chandler: Monicas gotta have the phone in the right place and(Frantic babbling.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Sick Monica is trying to entice Chandler to have sex with her.]
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
ROSS: We don't.� But I thought it would be nice to get to know him.� You know, maybe have a little dinner, drinks, conversation.
Chandler: By then, the cheesecake may have gone bad. We dont want her to come back to bad cheesecake.
Monica: (To Joey) Oh, about that. Joey, you have to change before the party.
Joey: I cant! I-I dont have any other clothes here.
Mike: Yeah, I'm sure they will, but you don't have to do this... I'm wanting them to get to know Phoebe, not (accent) Phoebe...
Ross: Okay, I know what I have to do. Ive got to go Red Ross. (Joey and Phoebe dont know what hes talking about.) Yknow, Red Ross!
David: For me, I have a hard time with le Blanc in particular. When-whenI mean when
Monica: Phoebe, come on, you have to tell us.
Rachel: I have it, I have it, I have it. Oh, okay, I can't find it, but I remember that I was in seat 32C, because that's my bra-size.
Chandler: You mean these tuxes have been down the red carpet with people yelling, "You are you wearing?! You look fabulous!"
Rachel: I dont know! Maybe they have tools.
Monica: I am so glad you guys got together, Chandler and I are always looking for a couple to go out with and now we have one!
{Transcribers Note: As with all the cliffhangers, there was no credits scene. There will be a ninth and final season of Friends starting sometime in September. See you then, have a good summer everyone.}
Chandler: No Im serious, we should tell each other everything. I do not have any secrets from you.
Phoebe: I know! Monicas gonna have a baby! Hey, can this count as her something new?
Joey: All right well, yknow I guess we know what we have to do to get down.
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, did-didnt you use to have a pair? They were really round, burgundy, and they made you look kind of umm
Rachel: Yeah. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby! (They all hug.)
Monica: Are you kidding? This is where they get out stains! Okay? This is like Disneyland for me. Im-Im gonna be over here watching the dance of the clean shirts. (She points to and walks over to the electric clothes rack they have.)
Rachel: Well then you have his baby.
Janice: Oh wait you two think of me as family?! Oh, I have to ask you something now and be honest; do you want me to sing Careless Whisper or Lady In Red?
Rachel: I do not know what's wrong with us, I mean, we have kissed before and that's been great! But this time it was leading somewhere and I was very aware of the fact that it was Joey touching me.
Rachel: I have so got it. Theres gonna be rumours about this, theres no way to stop it. Sophie knows, Monica and Phoebe know.
Phoebe: Yes. Yes I am. Oh my God, Im gonna have a baby! (Joey and Phoebe hug.)
Joey: Oh my God Pheebs! Youre gonna have a baby?
Monica: No! No! I shouldnt have even opened these! I mean IJoey I am out of control!! Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay?
JOEY: So, assistant to the director. That's a really exciting job, I mean, you must have a ton of cool responsibilities.
Monica: People have got to finish their stories!
Rachel: I know. I always thought if you and I got married, it would be the one that stuck. And it wouldnt be a secret, and we wouldnt have our wedding dinner at Pizza Hut. (They both laugh.)
Rachel: Ugh, is she pregnant yet? She doesnt need to be; shell still have the baby before I do. Oh Ross, another contraction! (Leans back on Ross for some support.)
Elizabeth: Ahh, I just have one problem left that I do not know how to solve. Uhh, Rachel maybe you want to come upstairs and help me figure it out?
Phoebe: Yeah! Have a great honeymoon!
Rachel: I want to tell you to have a good honeymoon! (Hugs Monica.)
David: Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! (he leaves)
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa. Jokes? You guys know they have naked chicks in there, right?
Joey: I dont have a key, they took mine to give to you.
Joey: Yeah, I have stuff in there too.
Chandler: Okay, but don't touch it, because you fingers have destructive oils.
Lauren: Ive been waiting up all night for ya. Where have you been? (Joey doesnt answer) Where have you been? Vic?!