words in movies
[Scene, The Airport, continued from last season, Rachel is waiting for Ross to come of the plane, when she sees he's coming off with another woman.]
Rachel: (to Monica) Ok, ok, ok. How did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. Ross was just Ross, just this guy. Now he's Rrrooossss, oh, this really great guy that I can't have.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, uh, he's back.
Rachel: Yeah, he's back. Is that a problem?
Chandler: Are you sure he's gonna be able to crack that code?
Rachel: Oh, right. Sorry. But Tag's not coming; his girlfriend came into town, so he's spending Thanksgiving with her.
Mindy: Well, ever since we announced the engagement, he's been acting really weird, and then last night, he came home smelling like Chanel.
<Chandler nods and his eyes get big like he's saying 'what the hell'>
Phoebe: Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
Rachel: Great! Now he's gonna know it was me!
Rachel: Excuse me, can I, can I bum one of those? (He holds up his pack.) Y'know what, actually (She takes the one he's smoking and heads over to where Nancy and Kim are standing and laughing.) Okay, okay, okay, what's so funny over here?
Ross: He's a brilliant diagnostician!
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
Ross: With the circus? He's behind the elephant.
Joey: Yeah he's lying. He looked down.
CHANDLER: I know.� You're right.� I want to see you too.� I've just got to figure out a way to tell Joey, you know?� He's really looking forward to this.
Rachel: Look, Ross, he's just... Sandy is just sensitive, that's all.
Monica: I can't believe he's that upset about this...
Rachel: So wh..? He's smart, he's qualified. Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out.
Ross: Oh, come on, Rach, he's a guy!
[Scene: Chandler's hotel room in Tulsa. He's fast asleep when the telephone rings.]
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
PHOEBE: (imitating Rachel) "Oh, I have to get my number back.� Oh my God.� He's gone."� (smiles) Dead on.
Rachel: He's not stoned.
Phoebe: On how far along he's in the sex change process!
Ross: You know what, he's a big boy, I'm sure he'll find us, ok?
(He points at Steve who's sitting at another table. He's staring at his hands.)
Joey: Why wouldn't she? He's a wonderful person!
Joey: But he's the same.
Joey: But he's the same.
Joey: He's the same!
Joey: Alright!! Fine! It's original Hugsy! No, now I know that Emma wants him but he's mine and I need him..
CHANDLER: I don't, I hate Joseph, ok. I think he's a brown-nosing suck up.
(Ross enters and he's really angry. He goes towards Chandler who's sitting at the counter)
Phoebe: Oh, right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.
Joey/Drake: Tell me to stop, just...tell me to stop. (he's about to kiss her)
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
Rachel: Oh, please!Honey, just the fact that you want me here to support you, I'm...OH MY GOD!Is that Christian Sanders?He's so gorgeous!
Charlie: Well... I'm just thinking that maybe he's not the right guy to be with right now, maybe I should be with someone... I have more in common with. You know what I mean?
Charlie: He's a pretty tough guy to impress.
Charlie: He is very sweet. Plus he's hot!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Chandler: I'm telling you, he's great! I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I'd think he'd be the way to go!
Chandler: Yeah, he's better!
Chandler: Don't listen to him, he's in a really bad mood! (lets her in)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's unpacking after moving in. There's a knock on the door and he answers it.]
Ross: Oh, right, because he's a scientist!
Phoebe: No, no, because, you know, he's been in Minsk for 8 years and if he gets too much direct sunlight, he'll die.
Mike: (sounds shocked and sits down) He... he's gonna propose?
Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist.
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Phoebe: Sounds like he's with someone.
Phoebe: That's the door. He's gone...
Joey: You know what? I think I'm gonna stay here and make sure he's okay.
Joey: Well, he's with Charlie now.
Colleen: You told him he's adopted?
Ross: You know, I gotta go find him. He's gotta be here someplace.
Joey: Absolutely! He's not thinking about you.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is totally wasted, but he's still drinking all the margaritas.]
[Scene: Chandler's office. He's on the phone, agitated.]
Phoebe: Ooh! No, no, no, no, he's not like a kook, no. He's just like this, this very passionate, incredibly romantic guy, that got like a tinsy bit carried away, you know. And we just get along really well, and he's so cute.
Rachel: That's right! 'Cause that would give him the control! So now he's all ooh, coming up with this whole I've got a party thing y'know, trying to get me to hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it?
Joey: Oh! Maybe they'll name yours after you! Y'know, they'll call it, The Ross. And then people would be like, "Awww, he's got a Ross."
Rachel: Huh... wow, so he's gotta be...
Amy: Oh! He's ok. Do you remember my old boyfriend Mark?
Ross: Guess who's a finalist for a huge research grant! I'll give you a hint, he's looking right at you.
Frank Jr.: Oh, you'd be getting a really good one. I mean, you know, he's really funny. Like, the other day he made up this joke.
RACHEL: What, so you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute, what's the worst that could happen?
Rachel: Oh my God, Oh my God, here comes Ross. He's gonna flip out.
Phoebe: Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! (looking outside the window) Look, there's Chandler. (he's on the street, talking to a woman)
Rachel: That's because he's on your neck.
Ross: He's right, man.
Phoebe: Well, he wants to do some ecclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu.
Rachel: He's not having an affair!
Nurse: He's under sedation, so he's pretty much out.
Phoebe: Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it! (looking outside) See, there's something going on with them. Look, he's getting into the car with her!
Joey: (panicking) Dude! He's right there!
MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
MONICA: Your boyfriend has been in there for over an hour. I can't believe it, it's like I'm living with him again. He's here when I go to sleep, he's here when I wake up, he's here when I want to use the shower, ughh. It's like I'm sixteen all over again .
Phoebe: OH! He's having an affair.
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on. He's happily married. His wife just had twins.
Rachel: Okay. Oh, yeah... (whispering to mr Zellner) Oh he's cute!
[Scene: Chandler is packing the broken china in its box. He's taping up the top of box so thoroughly, there isn't an inch of cardboard which isn't covered in tape. He is struggling with the tape dispenser.]
Lady: Oh, the woman upstairs is very nice. She and her husband have two kids, he's on Wall Street and she…
Erica: No, he's in prison. (More shocked looks from Monica and Chandler)
Phoebe: Oh, he's at the doctor, he didn't poop the whole time we were there!
Joey: I'm sure he's not more bummed out than I am.
Doctor: He's just fine.
(Erica just looks at him like he's crazy.)
Monica: (To Erica) Oh my God, he's beautiful. Thank you so much.
Monica: That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born.
ROSS: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.
Phoebe: (from the air vent overhead) You guys, he's beautiful!
Charlie: Well, I think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas...
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
Ross: No, no. The vet says unless he's in a place where he has regular access to some... monkey lovin,' he's just gonna get vicious. I've just gotta get him into a zoo.
RACHEL: This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas. She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker. Oh, Chandler how did you get through this?
Ross: Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". (pause) An option that many of my students use. (pause) Shall we?
Joey: We can't, alright? (To the women) We're sorry. You have no idea how sorry, but... We promised we'd find this monkey. If you see him, he's about yea high and answers to the name Marcel, so if we could get some pictures of you, you'd really be helping us out.
Phoebe: Hey, have you seen Frank Jr., 'cause he's meeting me here with the triplets.
CHANDLER: (looking fearfully at Joey) Hey, he's not crying.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma has fallen asleep in her playpen, and Chandler has fallen asleep right next to her on the floor. He's even sucking on a pacifier.]
Chandler: I'm sorry, he's a little bit wound up, we had to stop at every maple candy stand on the way here.