words in movies
Joey: Uhh, my stunt double. Yeah, and y'know, he's getting a little too familiar for my tastes.
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
[Cut to Ross's apartment, he's sitting by his window looking at an art book. As he's turning the page, he glances up and notices something.]
[Scene: Chandler's hotel room, he's sitting there with Joey who's talking about his helmet and running his hand through that feathery thing at the top.]
Phoebe: So go fix it! Go find Chandler! He's probably up in your room! Tell him that you're sorry and that you love him.
Joey: Who's your friend? He's hot! (Ross laughs and Rachel smacks him with her purse.)
Chandler: Come on! I was there! (He's propped up with his hand on a statute of a naked guy. He winces and pulls his hand away.) I know he's the love of your life.
[Scene: A blackjack table, it's the same one Joey's hand twin was working at, only he's not there anymore and has been replaced by a beautiful woman.]
Joey: He's kinda tall, dark hair, hand looks exactly like this. (Holds up his hand.) See?
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Rachel: Excuse me, can I, can I bum one of those? (He holds up his pack.) Y'know what, actually (She takes the one he's smoking and heads over to where Nancy and Kim are standing and laughing.) Okay, okay, okay, what's so funny over here?
Rachel: Great! Now he's gonna know it was me!
(Joey walks in and looks around. He's trying to find a Mike for Phoebe)
Ross: Yeah well, he's not gonna get this one. Ben is way cuter than that kid. I mean look at him, look at you, (Starts to whine like a baby and Joey just glares at him.)
Ross: He's a brilliant diagnostician!
Ross: With the circus? He's behind the elephant.
Joey: Yeah he's lying. He looked down.
Rachel: So wh..? He's smart, he's qualified. Give me one good reason we shouldn't try him out.
Ross: Oh, come on, Rach, he's a guy!
Rachel: Look, Ross, he's just... Sandy is just sensitive, that's all.
Monica: I can't believe he's that upset about this...
[Scene: Chandler's hotel room in Tulsa. He's fast asleep when the telephone rings.]
CHANDLER: I know.� You're right.� I want to see you too.� I've just got to figure out a way to tell Joey, you know?� He's really looking forward to this.
PHOEBE: (imitating Rachel) "Oh, I have to get my number back.� Oh my God.� He's gone."� (smiles) Dead on.
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
Phoebe: On how far along he's in the sex change process!
Rachel: He's not stoned.
(He points at Steve who's sitting at another table. He's staring at his hands.)
Joey: Why wouldn't she? He's a wonderful person!
CHANDLER: I don't, I hate Joseph, ok. I think he's a brown-nosing suck up.
Joey: But he's the same.
Joey: But he's the same.
Joey: He's the same!
Joey: Alright!! Fine! It's original Hugsy! No, now I know that Emma wants him but he's mine and I need him..
Joey/Drake: Tell me to stop, just...tell me to stop. (he's about to kiss her)
(Ross enters and he's really angry. He goes towards Chandler who's sitting at the counter)
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
Phoebe: Oh, right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.
Ross: You know what, he's a big boy, I'm sure he'll find us, ok?
Charlie: Well... I'm just thinking that maybe he's not the right guy to be with right now, maybe I should be with someone... I have more in common with. You know what I mean?
Rachel: Oh, please!Honey, just the fact that you want me here to support you, I'm...OH MY GOD!Is that Christian Sanders?He's so gorgeous!
Charlie: He is very sweet. Plus he's hot!
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Charlie: He's a pretty tough guy to impress.
Chandler: I'm telling you, he's great! I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I'd think he'd be the way to go!
Chandler: Yeah, he's better!
Chandler: Don't listen to him, he's in a really bad mood! (lets her in)
Mike: (sounds shocked and sits down) He... he's gonna propose?
Ross: Oh, right, because he's a scientist!
Phoebe: No, no, because, you know, he's been in Minsk for 8 years and if he gets too much direct sunlight, he'll die.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's unpacking after moving in. There's a knock on the door and he answers it.]
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Phoebe: That's the door. He's gone...
Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist.
Phoebe: Sounds like he's with someone.
Ross: You know, I gotta go find him. He's gotta be here someplace.
Joey: Well, he's with Charlie now.
Colleen: You told him he's adopted?
Joey: Absolutely! He's not thinking about you.
Joey: You know what? I think I'm gonna stay here and make sure he's okay.
Rachel: Huh... wow, so he's gotta be...
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is totally wasted, but he's still drinking all the margaritas.]
Phoebe: Ooh! No, no, no, no, he's not like a kook, no. He's just like this, this very passionate, incredibly romantic guy, that got like a tinsy bit carried away, you know. And we just get along really well, and he's so cute.
[Scene: Chandler's office. He's on the phone, agitated.]
Amy: Oh! He's ok. Do you remember my old boyfriend Mark?
Joey: Oh! Maybe they'll name yours after you! Y'know, they'll call it, The Ross. And then people would be like, "Awww, he's got a Ross."
Ross: Guess who's a finalist for a huge research grant! I'll give you a hint, he's looking right at you.
Rachel: That's right! 'Cause that would give him the control! So now he's all ooh, coming up with this whole I've got a party thing y'know, trying to get me to hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it?
Rachel: That's because he's on your neck.
RACHEL: What, so you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute, what's the worst that could happen?
Frank Jr.: Oh, you'd be getting a really good one. I mean, you know, he's really funny. Like, the other day he made up this joke.
Rachel: Oh my God, Oh my God, here comes Ross. He's gonna flip out.
Ross: He's right, man.
Phoebe: Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it! (looking outside) See, there's something going on with them. Look, he's getting into the car with her!
Rachel: He's not having an affair!
Phoebe: Well, he wants to do some ecclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu.
Phoebe: Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! (looking outside the window) Look, there's Chandler. (he's on the street, talking to a woman)
MONICA: Your boyfriend has been in there for over an hour. I can't believe it, it's like I'm living with him again. He's here when I go to sleep, he's here when I wake up, he's here when I want to use the shower, ughh. It's like I'm sixteen all over again .
Phoebe: OH! He's having an affair.
Joey: (panicking) Dude! He's right there!
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
Nurse: He's under sedation, so he's pretty much out.
Rachel: Okay. Oh, yeah... (whispering to mr Zellner) Oh he's cute!
[Scene: Chandler is packing the broken china in its box. He's taping up the top of box so thoroughly, there isn't an inch of cardboard which isn't covered in tape. He is struggling with the tape dispenser.]
Rachel: Oh Ross, come on. He's happily married. His wife just had twins.
Phoebe: Oh, he's at the doctor, he didn't poop the whole time we were there!
Erica: No, he's in prison. (More shocked looks from Monica and Chandler)
(Erica just looks at him like he's crazy.)
Doctor: He's just fine.
Lady: Oh, the woman upstairs is very nice. She and her husband have two kids, he's on Wall Street and she…
Joey: I'm sure he's not more bummed out than I am.
Monica: (To Erica) Oh my God, he's beautiful. Thank you so much.
Ross: No, no. The vet says unless he's in a place where he has regular access to some... monkey lovin,' he's just gonna get vicious. I've just gotta get him into a zoo.
ROSS: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.
Monica: That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Y'see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born.
Charlie: Well, I think he's a little out there, but he does have some interesting ideas...
RACHEL: This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas. She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker. Oh, Chandler how did you get through this?
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
CHANDLER: (looking fearfully at Joey) Hey, he's not crying.
Phoebe: (from the air vent overhead) You guys, he's beautiful!
Ross: Oh, well he's obviously late and the rule in my class is "if you can't come on time, then don't come at all". (pause) An option that many of my students use. (pause) Shall we?
Joey: We can't, alright? (To the women) We're sorry. You have no idea how sorry, but... We promised we'd find this monkey. If you see him, he's about yea high and answers to the name Marcel, so if we could get some pictures of you, you'd really be helping us out.
Phoebe: Hey, have you seen Frank Jr., 'cause he's meeting me here with the triplets.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Emma has fallen asleep in her playpen, and Chandler has fallen asleep right next to her on the floor. He's even sucking on a pacifier.]
Chandler: I'm sure that would mean a lot to him. And if heaven has a door, I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently.
[Cut to Joey hanging up the phone in Vegas. He's wearing a Roman gladiator's uniform and goes over to join a family to pose for a picture. You see, he's apparently taken a job at Caesar's Palace.]
Ross: Oh yeah, I'm sure he's gonna give you a job. Maybe make you his SEXretary.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is neglecting the game of Scrabble, for he's busily drawing on his own childhood in an attempt to help Ross. Marcel chitters about.]
Chandler: I'm sorry, he's a little bit wound up, we had to stop at every maple candy stand on the way here.