words in movies
[A monkey jumps on the desk and hands the guy a beer. He opens the beer and is suddenly on the beach, in a hammock, with beautiful women all around.]
RACHEL: Oh, Ross, you had to, I mean, he was humping everything in sight. I mean, I have a Malibu Barbi that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding.
CHANDLER: Yeah, well sure, when he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat. . . all of the sudden I have this big attitude problem.
CHANDLER: You know I think he will be surprised, 'till he realizes he's a monkey, and uh, you know, isn't capable of that emotion.
LIPSON: Well he got sick, and then he got sicker, and then he got a little better but then he died.
MONICA: Ah, and I mean, he's going out with her? He can not persue this.
ROSS: Check it out, he actually is the MonkeyShine monkey.
ROSS: Well, I guess I'm gonna call the beer company and try to find out where he is.
RACHEL: Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me. [throws water in his face]
MONICA: And then he told me he would run away with me, and he didn't. [throws water in his face]
MONICA: Ross, there he is.
ROSS: I don't get it, he seemed so happy to see me yesterday.
JOEY: Uh, excuse me. Jerry is the director, which one's he?
JOEY: Well, we're, we're just goin' over here so that we can get away from the horrible flesh eating virus, for the love of God woman, listen to me. Is he lookin', is he lookin'?
MONICA: Jean-Claude Van Damme. I didn't know he was in this movie, he is so hot.
RACHEL: No, was he any good in it?
MONICA: Rachel, he like, totally changed time.
MONICA: He could hear me.
CHANDLER: OK that's not what he was doing. Alright, he was looking for his bus money.
MONICA: So what'd he say?
RACHEL: Agh, what a jerk. I kept talking about you and he kept asking me out. I mean, naturally, you know, I said no.
RACHEL: He just kept asking, and asking, and asking, and asking, and asking, and asking.
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
RACHEL: Oh yeah. Well, at least I wasn't too chicken to tell some guy I thought he was cute.
Joey: Oh, well no problem there. (He picks up the chick, hugs it really tight, and talks to it like its a little baby.)
Joey: (after Ross leaves the room) aaand SEND! (he hits the send button)
Joey: Hey! (he throws the basketball against a table again)
Ross: (he comes back) Alright, let's go!
Joey: Dude! (he opens his arms to receive the ball from Ross' hands)
Ross: Oh! (He bangs his fists together.)
Chandler: Because I told everyone he slept with dinosaurs.
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Ross: I mean, uhm... you know when I was growing up he was kind of a tough guy... You know a-a-and as a kid I wasn't the athlete I am now.
Manny: I've heard the speech: (in a mocking voice) "if he knew it was gonna be the last time he saw her... "
Chandler: At least he died doing what he loved... watching blimps (he goes in the bedroom)
Ross: Who is he?
Kim: Oh my God. He just gave you the coldest look I have ever seen. Its like he hates you. Then it is true.
Rachel: No, its Ross. Its Ross. You like Ross. (He just shakes his head.) Oh daddy, I hope youre okay with all of this. I mean think about it, this is a good thing. Youre gonnaThis is your first grandchild! Youre gonna be a poppy!
Ross: (to Monica)Think he washed his hands?
Ross: Waitohheyhuh, oh great now he knows, and I don't know!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading on the couch while Joey, still suffering from his hernia, is returning with coffee for them both. After a series of grunts and groans he manages to painfully walk back from the counter, sit down, and slide Chandler his coffee.]
Chandler: Ok, here we go! (he pushes the play button)
Joey: (entering) Oh uh, hey Pheebs. Uh yknow what? Ill-Ill come back later. (He goes to leave but runs into Ross whos entering.)
Ross: I'm having a baby in here! Ok, everyone stand back. (Walks backwards as if he is going to break down the door, but steps in a bucket and falls) Ow.
Chandler: Well I was I was exactly expecting company after (He looks at his watch.) 9:15.
(Ross points to the explanation and he gets it.)
Ross: (he picks up the ball) What do you think you learnt how to do in the last two minutes?? (he enters another room)
Rachel: Now you're probably going to hire one of the people who did not ah, (She puts her hands on his desk blotter and he moves it. Rachel then doesn't know where to put her hands.) who did, who did not umm, yell at you and storm out, and I think that's a big mistake and here's why. I made a huge fool of myself and I came back, that shows courage. When I thought you wanted sex in exchange for this job, I said no. That shows integrity. And, I was not afraid to stand up for myself and that shows courage. (Suddenly realizes that she said courage twice.) Okay umm, now I know I already said courage, but y'know you gotta have courage. And umm, and finally when I thought you were making sexual advances in the workplace, I said no and I was not litigious. {By the way, litigious means to want to litigate and litigate is to make a lawsuit against. So she didn't want to sue him. Don't worry, I had to look it up too.} So there you go, you got, you got (counts them off with her fingers) courage, you got integrity, you got (Pause) courage again, and not litigious. Look Mr
(Ross enters and he's really angry. He goes towards Chandler who's sitting at the counter)
(he idly goes to the sofa, starts browsing a magazine. Everybody stares at him)
Joey: (sees Monica) Fire trucks! (Chandlers eyes double in size and he turns to Monica who doesn't understand what's happening. Then he turns back to Joey, who says "you're welcome" without a sound)
(Chandler drifts off and his arm slips off the table and he wakes back up.)
(He hangs up the phone and tears the note off the pad.� Then, he stops and re-reads it.� Rachel enters.)
(he picks up the suitcase, which falls open, revealing all the stuff they have taken from the hotel. The receptionist just looks at them.)
Monica: Yeah, well hes my brother! And plus he drives so slow he could never hurt it.
Phoebe: Oh, right, so he gets a little crazy when he's stoned.
Monica: Hes not boring! Hes just-hes just low key.
Chandler: Phoebe, did you see that?! He totally checked you out! He is so cute! (Looking at his tea.) Mine has a picture of The Village People, what does that mean?
Monica: (to Chandler) Is he gonna introduce us?
Rachel: And he didn't want you guys to know about it but I came over here to tell you!!
Charlie: Yeah, well, he is a brilliant man.
Monica: No! But because he thought I was to faaaaa . (Chandler emerges, without flushing by the way.) And every time I think about it, it makes me feel as bad as I did in fifth grade! Yknow, I-I really think that you should apologize to Julie.
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny.� I've been, ah, practicing the art of seduction myself.� (He raises his hands in front of himself, sticks out his behind, and wiggles it.)� Hi ya.
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
Monica: (a bit surprised) Yes, he is. Me.
Phoebe: Umm Wow, all right. (Checks the book.) Wow! Yay! Ooh, Im gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And hes gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. (Points at Chandler.)
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! So, I walk in the door and make the right (and he bends his arm to the left. Ross then bends Joey's arm to the right and Joey nods)
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel.)
RACHEL: Well, um, first he told me he liked how I looked.� And, ah, then we had a little . . . um . . . eye-contact.
Steve: Oh, OK. (he drops the box on the floor) Oh, sorry. (When she bends down to pick it up he grabs a package of Gummi-bears from the cabinet.)
Rachel: We have to have a surprise Bon Voyage party for Emily. But its actually for Joshua. (Starts handing out party hats.) Look, he said hes not ready to date, so I had to invite him to a party if I wanted to see him outside of work, and now I have the perfect opportunity to seduce him! (Hands Ross a party hat.)
Charlie: Well, for one, he was talking about paintings that were nowhere around.
Charlie: He is very sweet. Plus he's hot!
(He starts to walk to the bathroom and hears the hypnosis tape from Chandlers bedroom.)
Monica: Maybe he's bothering you so much because he likes you. It's like in first grade when Skippy Langwild always pushed me on the playground because he secretly had a crush on me?
(Turns to look at Professor Sherman, only to discover that he is sleeping)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is scrapping gum off the table as there is a knock on the door. He goes over and opens it.]
Phoebe: Uh, wow! Isn't it ironic that he liked you and now you like him?
Ross: I can't! If he realizes that I'm the one that put him to sleep, I won't get the job!
Mike: This is the first time hes ever used this product, he's never used this product before, you're gonna see how easy this is to do. (To Kevin) Go ahead. ('Kevin' starts using the product, it is a spout that you jab into a paper milk carton so that you don't have to rip it open.) This works with any milk carton.
Monica: I think he is fine! It's just that we don't know anything real about him... we should get more information.
The Dry Cleaner: Thats my wife!!! Get out! (Starts yelling at him in Russian, and Im betting hes not saying pleasant things about him.)
Charlie: No, but he did just win the McArthur genius grant.
Ross: Uh, uh... Sure! Uhm... "Dear..." (he takes the notepad)
Donny Osmond: Yeah! Welcome, it is Soap Opera week here on Pyramid, let's meet our contestants. First, Gene Lester is a database specialist, he's gonna be playing with "Days of Our Life's" star Joey Tribbiani! (Joey's amazed at the place and he keeps looking around till he realizes the audience is applauding him)
Rachel: Ohhh! (Looks at Aaron and recoils in horror.) Wow! He kinda takes your breath away doesnt he?
Rachel: Are you joking? Check out is not til noon and he has a good (checks her watch) eleven minutes left.
Chandler: I dont know. (He picks the chick up and turns it over, trying to determine the sex of the chick, and blows on it.) I cant tell, what ever it was went back in too quickly.
Mike: (sounds shocked and sits down) He... he's gonna propose?
Joey: Kate Miller it is. (he picks up the Kate Miller badge and sticks it on Rachel's breast)
Ross: Hey, what do you say we celebrate? Champagne? (he goes to get the champagne)
Ross: Mhm, (he balance things) packing - sexy cheerleader comedy.
Joey: No, he really said it.
Joey: He said "erectus"!
ROSS: They, uh, were infected. He wouldn't have made it.
Chandler: (To Phoebe, behind Monica's back) Still terrified, I'll take care of it. No problem. (When Monica turns back he smiles and kisses her, when she turns away he nods that he'll do it to Phoebe.)
Phoebe: So long! Dont let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on your way out! (He exits and she slams the door behind him.)
Phoebe: (smiling proudly) He was a lawyer!
Chandler: Ye.... (stops because he realises what Joey just said, and stares at him. At this moment Monica enters)
(He punches her on her shoulder mockingly, then goes and sits down on her bed)
Joey: I mean, she should be with someone like... Ross! You know what I mean, he uses all those big words too! Man, smart people are dull!
Ross: My God. Rachel! (He walks towards her, grasps her hands and kisses her on the cheek.) Your here. I cant believe it. (She giggles.) What happen? Why are you here?
Monica: Yeah, but he wants to talk to you before anything really happens with her. And as his friend, I mean, don't you think he deserves the same from you?
Rachel: Yeah, he did! (smiling) Oh, see, this is what I'm talking about!
Joey: Yeah, he had a paper route.
Chandler: (flattered) No,... no... (realizing) NO! (He quickly gets several steps away from her.) Look, I'm, I'm married!
(Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back)
Rachel/Ross: Ooh, your lips are so soft... Do that again... (and she/he moves in for another kiss. Joey, pushes her head away again...)
Chandler: We share a wall! So either hes great in bed, or she just likes to agree with him a lot.
Joey: Is he gone?
Rachel: Plus, you know, he is with Charlie now.
Joey: In that case should I make sure it's on real good? (he does so, repeatedly tapping on her breast and stroking it)
Precious: He proposed to you? This is the worst birthday ever. (she starts to cry again)
Charlie: Stop it, stop it! He talks slow but he might pee fast! Ok, let's go!! (they run outside)
Precious: Oh, why would he do this? I mean, what's wrong with me?
Ross: Oh, no, it's great. It's great. He is... He is an amazing guy.
(she slaps him in the face, Mike looks like he doesn't believe what just happened. Precious leaves, and he turns to Phoebe.)
(He runs off to the kitchen.)
Mrs. Bing: Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon therell be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)
(Ross smiles slightly.� Then he gives a single nod that lifts him to his feet.� He exits the coffee shop.
Joey: Rach, he just saw us.
MIKE: I'll get it.� (He lunges across Ross's lap on the sofa to reach the phone.� Ross stares at him with wide eyes.)� Hello?� Ross's place.� Mike speaking.� (pause.� Hands phone to Ross)� It's for you.
Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
(Chandler looks like he did the time he swallowed the toy in 605 TOW Joey's Porsche. It's the hair in his coffee.)