words in movies
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are addressing their invitations.]
Emily: So what did he decide? Does your Uncle Nathan get an invite or not?
Ross: Ohh, God, nobody likes him, and hes so cheap, hed never fly to London in a million years. Yeah, invite him? Hey, did I do these neat enough? (Hands her some envelopes.)
Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)
(They go to hug but Ross' umbrella opens. He sits, defeated again.)
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Ross: Oh, thank you. (She goes to kiss him, but he holds her coat up between their faces to stop her.) Hey, hey. (opens the door, sees Rachel, and hides Chloe behind the door) Rachel!!!!
[Scene: A mailbox, Ross is mailing the invitations. He throws a bunch into the mailbox, but pauses with Rachel's. And it starts another round of clips.]
[Cut back to the present, Ross is still looking at Rachel's invitation. Finally, he makes up his mind and mails it.]
Rachel: Oh... (opens it and sees it is a pin) Oh my God. He remembered.
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Monica: I can't believe he did this.
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
(Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel.)
Ross: Oh, that is so sweet.(listens) No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three.(He doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet.) Well you didn't hang up either.
Joey: He broke up with Julie. Well, go hug her, for god's sakes.
Ross: (starts to cry) FINE BY ME!! (he opens the door and traps Chandler behind it)
[Rachel, seeing what he did for her, gets up, walks across the room, and kisses Ross]
(He kisses her on the cheek and heads to Central Perk.)
(Ross starts looking for table six and finds out that its the kids table. He sees Mona sitting at another table.)
Chandler: (entering) Bob. Bob! Bob!!! (He turns around) What the hell are you doing?!
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Monica: Ross has never checked out of a room a minute before he had to.
Monica: Okay, I umm, I ran into Richard yesterday and he asked me if I wanted to go for a bite and I did. The only reason I didn't tell you is because I knew you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil our anniversary.
Ross: Your joke? Well, I think the Hef would disagree, which is why he sent me a check for one hundred ah-dollars.
Monica: What?! I thought hed love it! His favorite kid's book was the Velveteen Rabbit!
Ross: (entering) Hey! (Hes wearing a costume as well.)
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Chandler: Oh really?! You think youre stronger? Why dont you prove it? (He pushes Ross who starts to fall backwards until Mona catches him.)
(He goes and sits down next to Rachel and puts a cigarette in his mouth, which Rachel takes away from him. He puts another cigarette in his mouth, and Rachel takes it away again.)
Chandler: Fine. (He lets Ross win.) Oh no!
Joey: Pantyhose! Yknow? They way they start at your toe and go all the way up to here (He mimed that and stops when he realized he went to far.) I should go take these off shouldnt I?
(Phoebe hands Eric Ursulas purse and he walks away.)
Chandler: I am strong! Ill show you! (He sits down at the table.)
Rachel: Yknow, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? (He starts laughing.) Tag! Im serious! This isnt funny! Those contracts absolutely had to go out today!
Eric: Oh, I have a friend whos a cop and he got it for me.
Phoebe: Oh you did? (To Rachel) He did it! He did it!
Rachel: Wow! What did he do?
(Hes still spitting and Joey holds his script in front of his face.)
[Scene: Erics Apartment, hes opening the door to reveal Phoebe.]
Tag: Then we went to this bar and he hooked us up with all these women!
[Cut to later in that episode. Chandler is in his bathroom with Monica, and hes panicking on how far Phoebe is pushing him.]
[Scene: Erics Apartment, he and Phoebe are still making out.]
Phoebe: Sure. Yeah, hes kinda sexy.
Joey: Well who is this guy?! Huh? Who is he? Cause I will track him down and kick his ass!
Erin: I really dont think he does. And yknow what? Maybe you guys could help clue him in. Yknow, tell him Im-Im not interested in a serious relationship or something.
Phoebe: Hes right though, the 74 is absolute piss.
Chandler: No, no, I keep trying, yknow? I can get out, "Joey, I have too " but then I lose my nerve and I always finish with, " go to the bathroom." He may think Im sick.
Phoebe: Why, so he can get mad at the baby?
Monica: Don't stare. Now she just finished throwing his clothes off the balcony, now there's just a lot of gesturing and arm-waving, (shows Rachel gesturing with hands in front of her chest), Ok, that is either, "How could you?" or, "Enormous breasts!" Here he comes!
Phoebe: Well maybe he was just nervous, yknow you can be very intimidating. And besides Ive met your pastry chef and she can stand to be taken down a peg or two.
Joey: Im gonna be an uncle! Come here! (He joins the hug.)
Rachel: Yes. Yes, he says Im damaged goods.
Phoebe: Oh my God!!! Monica!! Hes the stripper from your bachelorette party!!
Joey: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my ma like she wanted, she's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know even though she does, and my little sister Tina can't see her husband any more because he got a restraining order...which has nothing to do with anything except that I found out today.
Rachel: Oh no, I know that. I know that. Although, we made a joke that we spend so much time together he should call me his work wife.
(Basically Chandlers face looks like hes not all there and is staring off into the distance )
Joey: Uh, well he did not get sick somewhere in there and it was immediately found and properly cleaned up!
Chandler: You mean like this? (he starts touching his thigh in a funny and awkard way)
Chandler: Steps! (He opens the door to his apartment to Ross and Joey looking at the new Playboy) Slut! (Ross and Joey quickly hide the Playboy behind their backs. Chandler wonders into the girls apartment.) You will all be very happy to hear that Kathy is sleeping with that guy!
Mona: Okay, I guess you can close the door now. (He does so and they kiss.)
Joey: (entering) Their not breaking up. Chandler and Janice. Their not breaking up. He didn't blink or anything.
Monica: Okay well, then well both do it today and hell just have to deal with it!
Chandler: This is about you and Richard. He's clearly not over you. He keeps a tape so he can... look at it whenever he wants.
Ross: Hey-hey you came! Man you look incredible! Hot stuff! (They hug and Ross realizes what he said.) Hot stuff?
Ross: Yes, but also (Pauses to let Ben answer, but he doesnt.) Hanukkah! See, you're part Jewish, and-and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.
Will: Yes he was. (Holds up his hand for a high-five.)
(Joey is now looking at Rachel, and since Rachels standing and hes sitting down and hes not looking at her face You get the picture.)
(He turns to go, but the sound of the sonogram catches hes ear. He returns and stares at it.)
Theodore: I can't imagine what he sees in her.
Rachel: (pause) Hes talking to the baby.
Ross: Yeah I know; hes in Bens class.
Ross: Well actually, Im picking Ben up tomorrow, maybe hell be there.
Phoebe: Your kid is seven?! (Ross nods, "Yes.") (To the rest) Hes really small. (To Ross) Please! Please get the tickets!
Joey: Uh, okay Ill-Ill-Ill break it down. (He hands the phone to Phoebe, gets up, picks up a chair, and starts banging it on the floor.)
(He goes out into the hall and re-enters with a bike exactly like the one Phoebe described earlier.)
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
Rachel: I dunno. Yknow to me hell always be Jack Geller, walks in while youre changing.
Bobby: Yeah, he took the other one off and hit me with it.
Joey: (to Dina) You were right. He is funny.
Frank: Yeah!! Little Leslie is here! We got another one! Oh my God, I can't believe I have two-two children. How scary is that? (He returns to the delivery room.)
Joey: Of course hes gonna have his Uncle Joey!
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do! Yes, but, after I dumped on the way he was gonna propose to me, I don’t think he’s ever gonna ask again! I mean, I said no in Barbados and now this!
Monica: We left Joey alone with the food! (Walks towards the window and looks out) Yep! Yep, I knew it! There he is... feeding stuffing to a dog!
Mona: Oh yeah, probably at the end. (Flips to the end.) Oh my God! He only took pictures of my breasts!
Joey: Hey, Im with you. He even asked me if I thought youd go out with him.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment, theres a knock on the door and he opens it to Mona.]
Dr. Schiff: (entering) Hi Rachel? Im Dr. Schiff. (By the way, hes an attractive man.)
Phoebe: Umm, hes here to have sex with you.
Phoebe: Its okay, hes a virgin.
Phoebe: Fine! Then you tell Roger because he was really looking forward to this! (Phoebe exits.)
Monica: Rachel umm, I was just talking to this guy and I think hell have sex with you.
Ross: (grabbing the car) Okay! Okay! Okay! (He gets in, but into the back seat.)
Phoebe: Thats good, you should be impulsive and you should be romantic. Just you did it with the wrong person. (He looks at her.) What?
Ross: Yeah, it's, it's, it's cute. Why, why, why does he have it, again?
Joey: (To Rachel) Do you think he saw us or can we still sneak out?
Joey: I would like to meet him. He sounds like a stand up guy.
Joey: Ah Hey, so this roommate of yours is he good looking?
Joey: No-no-no-no, hes not! No! Why are you trying to ruin the game? Come on!
Rachel: (laughs) Yeah, but Im pretty sure hes gay.
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Chandler: Well, Im upsetfor you. I mean, having sex with an endless line of beautiful women must be very unfulfilling for you. (He cant believe he just sad that.)
Monica: Chandler! Hes seven; hes not stupid.
Chandler: Come on, he wont even know what they mean.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
Joey: Oh. (She kisses him.) Yeah. (She goes into her room.) Me to. (He then starts to freak out.)
Phoebe: Monica, I'm sorry I didn't come by last night. I was out with Gary; he let me ride around with him in his cop car. We saw and prevented crimes.
[Scene: Their Building, Monica and Rachel are going to apologize to Danny. Rachel knocks on his door, which he opens and he has this really bushy beard and long hair. Picture Paul Bunyan.]
Ross: (patting his clothes like he is looking for his wallet) No, no hes not.
Mrs. Geller: Well, he better not come by here. He cant see the bride in the wedding dress.
Monica: But Ben is coming over tonight and he cant see this.
Phoebe: Chandler sucks! He couldnt have gotten this good!
Chandler: Well apparently Albert has no friends. He's very excited about the bachelor party though. I think actually the only reason he's getting married is so he can see a stripper.
(They both get up and Monica expects Joey to take the lead, but he doesnt, and they fumble around for a little bit.)
Monica: Okay, he was talking about rules.
Mindy: Well, ever since we announced the engagement, he's been acting really weird, and then last night, he came home smelling like Chanel.
Monica: You did? What was he talking about?
Monica: What did he tell you?