words in movies
Ross: Anytime anything comes close to touching her eye or anyone else's she like freaks out. Watch! Watch! (He takes his finger and moves it towards his eye.)
Joey: Me too! Me too! Me too! (Yeah, he does the same thing.)
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what 'cha reading? (Phoebe ignores him) Pheebs? (Turns away) Hello? (He sits down next to her and she moves over a bit.) Phoebe? (He moves closer and she keeps moving away.) Phoe-Phoebe! (They end up hanging over the arm rest.) Come on! (He grabs the magazine away from her.)
Joey: Fine! (He slams on the brakes, stopping the car on the bridge to the sound of numerous car horns.) Get out!
Rachel: Oh, did you beat him at a board game? He turns into such a baby when he starts to lose.
Chandler: I don't know! He went crazy! Y'know, we were playing that game where you-you ask a question and you answer it really fast.
Chandler: Well, I don't know what mad him so mad, y'know? All I said was that uh, I didn't think this wasn't gonna be his big break, that this movie wasn't going to do anything for him, and that uh, y'know it didn't sound like a real movie--Okay, he should've pushed me off of the bridge.
Joey: (on a pay phone holding a box) Not as upset as he's gonna be when he finds out what I did with his sweater vests!
Phoebe: Okay Joey? Chandler's here, he was wondering (We hear the dial tone as Joey hangs up.) Okay, I guess he ran out of change.
Chandler: Y'know, he won't even talk to me. How am I going to apologize to him if he won't even talk to me?
Monica: Well, maybe you should send him something. So that when he gets to Las Vegas he'll know that you're sorry.
Phoebe: Y'know what you should send him? A cartoon of cigarettes. 'Cause that why he could trade it for protection. No. That's prison.
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
The Grip: These got left for ya. (He hands him a bunch of helium balloons.)
Joey: Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here!
Ross: And hes, hes a total stranger?
Ross: (looking at the page) 717? (to Carol) Wheres 717? (He gets up to return the page, Carol starts to take the last of the food into the kitchen, but Ross grabs the last piece.) Hey, youve have more of these for Susan right?
Rachel: (to Chandler) Well, there's a kiss that he won't forget for a couple of hours, y'know.
Ross: (on phone) Item J437-A, color: winterberry. (Theres a knock on the door as he hangs up the phone. He answers it to Mona.) Hi umm, listen come here, come in. (She does so.) Im so-so sorry about yesterday. I-Im really sorry. Its just that I (He picks up the pink shirt.)
Dr. Green: (he stares at Ross) Rust, is boat cancer, Ross.
Ross: Well, Im just saying, I mean why else would he just, y'know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.
Chandler: He paints quite a picture doesn't he?
Joey: Maybe he found you flip-flop.
Chandler: No. He.....hes coming out of his shorts.
Ross: What, what do you mean, what? Is he gay?
CHANDLER: OK that's not what he was doing. Alright, he was looking for his bus money.
Chandler: Okay! (He joins her on one knee) Okay! Okay! Oh God, I thought (Starting to cry, pauses) Wait a minute, I-I can do this. (Pause) I thought that it mattered what I said or where I said it. Then I realized the only thing that matters is that you, (Pause) you make me happier than I ever thought I could be. (Starting to cry again.) And if youll let me, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make you feel the same way. (Pause as he gets out the ring.) Monica, will you marry me?
Monica: No, but he told me, he thinks your a fox.
Monica: Yeah! Oh hes great, I love him. (Walks away and Chandler glares at Phoebe.)
Chandler: Youve got it. (he starts to look at his sisters, but he still doesnt know which one is Mary-Angela.)
Ross: Ohhhhh yeah, that's, that's funny. Why ah, why isn't he goofing around in his own office?
Chandler: Okay. Okay. (He goes to the closet, moves the clothes out of the way, and notices an empty hanger. He takes the empty hanger and bends it all out of shape. Then he holds it out as if hes giving it to her.) Yes honey, I made it myself. (He throws it down and goes to her chest, grabs something, goes to the bed table, and takes out a pair of scissors. He turns around and holds the scissors to the crotch of the panties he just removed.) I cant do it. I cant do it. (He throws them both down and continues looking. He opens another closet door and finds a tape.) Oh! Oh! A mixed tape! A mixed tape!! (He runs out into the living room.)
Ross: (slowly) Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else.
Monica: He took up the carpet, and now you can hear everything.
Monica: Why? Do you think hes still mad at us?
Ross: I'm just sayin' if dogs do experience jet lag, then, because of the whole um, seven dog years to one human year thing, then, when a dog flies from New York to Los Angeles, he doesn't just lose three hours, he loses like a week and a half.
Leslie: I ran into Vlad at the place where they sell the big fish, and he said you played here a lot, so umm....
Chandler: So, it's a typical day at work. I'm inputting my numbers, and big Al calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor.
Monica: No, it was Ginger. I remember, because when he told me, I said, (singing) the movie star.
Rachel: Because, hes my friend.
Chandler: Nina? Nina. (He goes around his desk to where she is sitting.) Nina. (In pain) Nina.
(He bends over to pick them up, right in front of Rachel, who then gets a free peep show.)
(She walks over behind the coat rack, but Joey picks it up and moves it so that hes still behind it, and she cant see him.)
Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
Joey: (He turns around to Chandler looking for approval to go with Rachel, Chandler mouths Come on!) (turning back to Rachel) Ross, did ask us first, and we set that night aside.
Mischa: (leaning in) He would like to kiss you.
(Ross starts to scream and run away. He stops in front of the window of Central Perk to check the pursuit and notices Phoebe and Rachel inside looking at him. He mouths, "What?" Then realizes that the women he attacked are closing in so he screams and runs away.)
Mischa: He says he was too.
Rachel: Oh Daddy, no he didnt mean anything by that, he really didnt.
Mark: Well, then hes, hes probably just, out.
RADIO: The next one's dedicated to Rachel from Ross. Rachel, he wants you to know he's deeply sorry for what he did and he hopes you can find it in your heart to forgive him. (With or Without You plays)
Joey: Nothing, hes just really believes in that.
Rachel: Umm, honey, look he just came over to....
Joey: See this is what I was afraid of, I didnt think I should be here either but somebody (Looks at Chandler) said hed be over it by now.
Rachel: Umm, honey, look he just came over to....
Ross: Okay, Phoebe, this Dr. Oberman. He has no strong feelings about Fonzie or any of the Happy Days gang.
Monica: I think so. Se, he-he's not inviting you to his party because he likes you.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Chandler: (to Ross) You be cool. (He opens the door and lets her in as they all turn there backs on her.)
Chandler: (glares at him) I hope he did!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is coming home. As we walks through the door, and without looking up, he goes to throw his keys on the foosball table, only, its gone and the keys it the floor. He then looks up at an empty apartment; everything is gone except for the entertainment center and that ceramic dog. Even the food in the fridge!]
Joey: (still with his door wedged in the door gap, now opens his eyes wide and stares at Monica and Chandler as he did with Ross earlier in the hall) Hey listen guys, we feel really terrible.
Rachel: Ok! (whispering) Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof and he sent you guys to the play to get rid of you!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering, and hes very dejected.]
Chandler: Yeah, listen. Okay, before you do anything Joey-like, you might wanna run it by err... (he indicates Phoebe, who is helping Ross understand the remote control.)
Chandler: (to Joey) He has sex, and we get hit in our heads.
Wayne: It can do this. (He moves C.H.E.E.S.E.s arm close to Joeys special area and he jumps back.)
Ross: Wait, wait a minute, there's no light on the back wall! How do I know when it's gonna start? Hello? (he slowly turns and the spraying begins, on his face) Ah, oh, ah! (he turns, but then he turns again and is sprayed in the front again) Ah! (he spits and angrily goes out of the spray-on tan booth and the assistant enters the room) The same thing happened again!
Carol: Hes sleeping.
Phoebe: He shot a bird!
Rachel: Oh... (opens it)... (sees it is a pin) Oh my God. He remembered.
Phoebe: Dead. (everyone is a bit upset) Oh, it's OK, no, he was old, yeah! And he lived a full life, he was in the first wave at Omaha Beach.
Rachel: What is he doing here?!
Rachel: You guys are unbelievable. No! He cannot come.
Chandler: (to Monica) Actually hes the smallest person in the world.
Ross: Whos this little guy? (Gasps when he sees Aaron.)
Rachel: I just saw Danny getting on the subway with a girl and he had his arm around her.
Phoebe: What, hes 18.
Joey: Yeah, its this great part, this boxer named Nick. And Im so, so right for it, y'know, hes just like me. Except hes a boxer, and has an evil twin.
Alice: And he was my best student.
Ross: Whats up? (He smiles. His teeth are freakishly white.)
Joey: Pheebs, he seems to enjoy it.
Rachel: I cant believe Mark didnt call. Its Sunday night, and he didnt call.
Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. (Mr. Zellner looks shocked). I just heard it as you must have heard it and that’s not good. Let me start again. I’m a paleontologist, you’ll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones… fossils!
Chandler: I'm so sorry, but you should have a sign out there or something. Or at least whisper it to people when they come in the door. "Owen doesn't know he's adopted, and he also thinks that Santa is real."
Ross: Mona? (Theres no answer, so he starts to leave but remembers where her extra key is. He reaches atop a hall light just outside her door and grabs the key. He looks at in triumph as the pain from it being hot moves along his nervous system to his brain, and when it arrives his brain orders his hand to drop the hot key and his mouth to squeal in pain. After dropping the key he pulls his shirtsleeve over his hand and uses the key to open the door and enter Monas apartment.) Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be? (He hears a key in the door and as it opens he dives behind the couch.)
Ross: Yeah. (Gets up, but then pauses when he realizes what that meant.)
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, hes listening to the hypnosis tape again.]
[Chandler goes to take off Jacks coat. He then notices little white flakes on Jacks shoulders. He begins to wipe them off.]
Joey: Good. (He sets his stuff down and starts talking to Kate, another cast member.) Hey.
[Scene: A Theatre, Joey is arriving to rehearse the play hes in.]
Monica: Noo! Ill stay. Hes my brother.
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
Ross: Im-Im gonna wear this all the time! I love this shirt!! (he kisses the shirt)
Chandler: Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing. (He holds up a bandaged hand.) Little tip: if youre ever in a similar situation, never ever leave your hand... (he mimes Nina taking her revenge) ..on the desk.
Ross: (entering) Uh fellas, (Does the maneuver and gives them a double thumbs up, which Chandler returns as he closes the door.)
Chandler: I know. (He rubs Rosss head)
Ross: Oh, and also, hes, hes walkin kind of funny, his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg, and hes in there just sort of y'know... (walks around in a circle)
The Director: (to Joey) Very nice. Very nice. (he walks away)
Phoebe: Okay well, he would turn things to gold.
Phoebe: Well, it's this guy I used to massage. And by massage, I mean hold down so he wouldn't turn over and flash me.
Rachel: Oh, nothing, hes just goofy like that, I actually, hardly notice it anymore.
Chandler: Oh, thats-thats okay, no problem. (He starts to look around her office.)
Ross: (chasing her, trying to zip up his pants. His got them on right now.) No, wait! Emily! No, wait, stop! Emily, please(He catches something important in the zipper and howls like a little boy and falls to the floor.)
Joanna: Oh no, no-no-no, is he ah, married, or involved with anyone?
Joey: Maybe he could slip her the tongue.
Kate: Or maybe, maybe he could grab her, and, and, and, and lift her up.
Joanna: (entering) Did he call?
Joanna: Awkward? Why should he feel awkward?
The Director: Peel the onion. First of all, hes good looking.
(She sits down, and Mark leans over and kisses her. Rachel doesnt react. He tries it again, and Rachel jumps back quickly.)
Chandler: (He looks over at Rachel, who nods her head) Yes, this, this was pleasant.
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is telling Ross how he didn't get the part.]
Pete: Well... (he holds up a gift he brought her)