words in movies
RACHEL: Oh well, well thank you.� (She laughs.� He stares for a moment.)� Okay, stop.� Stop looking at me like that.� The last time that happened, (points to Ross) that happened.� (points to Emma.)
ROSS: I don't know.� But, you know, we, we have a lot in common, you know.� He plays piano; I played keyboards in college.� He's been divorced; I have some experience in that area.
ROSS: Ah?� (Mike nods.� Another pause.)� Well, he and I would probably have a lot to talk about.
[Scene:� Monica and Chandler's apartment.� Monica is wearing a sexy negligee.� She pours two glasses of wine as Chandler enters with a carry-on suitcase.� He sets the case by the door.)
JOEY: Hey!� Open the door.� What's going on?� (He knocks.)
JOEY: What are you . ..� (He sees her in her negligee.)� Why are you dressed like that?
JOEY: Okay.� (pause.� He looks over her shoulder at the table with the wine.)� Whoa, whoa.� Why are there two glasses of wine out?
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny.� I've been, ah, practicing the art of seduction myself.� (He raises his hands in front of himself, sticks out his behind, and wiggles it.)� Hi ya.
(Chandler's cell phone rings.� He looks at it.)
CHANDLER: It's Joey.� (He answers it, holding it out so that Monica can hear too.)� Hey Joe.
JOEY: All right look.� (He walks to the hallway.)� If you can't come home and deal with this, then I'm gonna.
RACHEL: Well, um, first he told me he liked how I looked.� And, ah, then we had a little . . . um . . . eye-contact.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Three pizza crusts, two bottle caps and the plastic tripod are left in the otherwise empty pizza box.� Mike is making hollow popping noises with his mouth.� He begins to speak, but stops and pops his lips a few more times and takes a drink.� Ross smiles as if he has thought of something to say, but then he stops and sinks back in a slump on the sofa.]
RACHEL: I don't know.� He was cute, and he liked me.� It was an impulse.
PHOEBE: (to Rachel) He says he can't do that.
ROSS: (putting his arm up with his hand on the door frame.)� Why?� (He starts to lower his arm.)
(Joey thinks a moment. Then, he nods.� Joey follows Chandler into the apartment.)
JOEY: All right.� All right.� Then, maybe you won't mind if me and my friend take a look around, huh?� (He checks the bathroom shaking the bat.� Then he proceeds to their bedroom.)� Bwa-ah-ah!
CHANDLER: (To Monica) What is he doing?
MIKE: I'll get it.� (He lunges across Ross's lap on the sofa to reach the phone.� Ross stares at him with wide eyes.)� Hello?� Ross's place.� Mike speaking.� (pause.� Hands phone to Ross)� It's for you.
JOEY: What? You think I'm too dumb to understand that a husband needs to be with his wife?� Huh?� Do you think I'm like, "Duh."� (He strikes himself in the head with the bat.� He stands dazed for a moment.)
ROSS: Oh God.� (He hugs Rachel)
MIKE: I'm so glad you're back.� (He hugs Phoebe.)
RACHEL: Oh shoot.� I forgot to pay Phoebe for the drinks.� (She exits to the hallway and closes the door behind her.)� Wait, wait.� Sorry.� Did he call?� Did that guy call?
(He hangs up the phone and tears the note off the pad.� Then, he stops and re-reads it.� Rachel enters.)
ROSS: Hey you guys.� (He sits.)
(Ross smiles slightly.� Then he gives a single nod that lifts him to his feet.� He exits the coffee shop.
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So you're a chef?
(He goes to the bathroom and Phoebe puts some pepper and salt on her food. With the salt she takes a bit and throws it over her left shoulder as she faces us.)
Monica: What one? You wanted him to invite you to the party and he did it!
Rachel: Okay. (Closes the door.) Walked right into that one didn't he?
Ross: Oh my God! Those werent albino kids, that was computer camp! Rach! (He hurries inside and Chandler is taking out the garbage.)
Phoebe: Hey, guys, you know what Larry would say? He would say, "See you ladle." (Laughs.)
(He leaves and she closes the door.)
Joey: Mine! (He grabs it.)
(He looks at them.)
(He exits.)
Joey: Well thats true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My characters catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. Its really sweet and-and tender.
(She goes one way; he goes the other. The camera pans back to Chandler and Monica, and needless to say, they're standing there dumbstruck.)
RACH: What, isn't he sober?
(They shake hands. Cut to Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned)
Ross: Fine. Fine, but I want the record to show that I tried to take the high road, because in about five minutes Im gonna be saying (He laughs and points at Rachel sarcastically.)
Joey: (entering with Ross) Hey! You guys! Check it out, check it out! (Hes wearing a blue blazer) Guess which job I got.
Monica: And he came at us with an axe, so Rachel had to use a bug bomb on him!
Dr. Franzblau: All right, he's crowning. Here he comes.
Phoebe: Well, he stabbed me first!!
(Monica quickly dives under the water as Joey enters. He looks a little shocked at what Chandler's doing.)
Danny: Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back. (He heads off.)
[Joey's place. He's watching Baywatch, lauging. He goes to say something to Chandler in the other chair but no one's there. He goes to call Chandler but decides not to.]
Chandler: He thought you said gonad.
Joey: Well he actually saw you a little bit too.
(He walks over and stands behind Joey.)
Joey: We figured we could be late because you guys were gonna be on time (he points the foam finger at the girls)
(Tim leans in to kiss her. They stop, and when he tries to kiss her again, Monica pulls away.)
Joey: Oh, he was this cab driver we had in London.
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
Joey: So what if he didnt come! We can still go out and party ourselves!
Monica: Well, I want he baby to come out all cute and fat!
Monica: What-what's the matter? Is there, is there something on my dress? (She turns around making sure he gets a good look.)
Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? All right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo-point.
(He brought home Chandler for Thanksgiving. Chandler is sporting the very popular Flock of Seagulls haircut. Yeah, it's another you have to see it to believe it kinda thing.)
(Ross just stares at him until he figures it out.)
Chandler: Okay, I've been doing a lot of thinking about us, y'know a lot of uhh, us thinking. And uh, well I guess there's only one-one way to do this. (He slowly and awkwardly gets down on one knee.)
Rachel: See? Yeah, you told me the story. He and Monica dated when they broke up they couldn't even be in the same room together and you all promised that you would stay his friend and what happened? He got phased out!
Monica: Oh, I still cant believe my dad saw us having sex! He didnt make it to one of piano recitals, but this he sees!
Joey: Uh yeah, right here. (He punches his fist through the wall next to the door.)
(He kisses her.)
Phoebe: Yeah, right! See, he gave up something, but then he got those magic beans. And then he woke up, and there was this, this big plant outside his window, full of possibilities and stuff.. And he lived in a village, and you live in the Village..
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. (He tries to bend down to pick up the bag with the presents, but can't because of the costume) Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents.
Monica: Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now hes-hes called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.
Chandler: Hes being silly, because he knows that we enjoy the silliness!
JADE: Hello, I'm looking for Bob. This is Jane. I don't know if you're still at this number, but I was just thinking about us, and how great it was, and, well, I know it's been three years, but, I was kinda hoping we could hook up again. I barely had t he nerve to make this call, so you know what I did?
Ross: How about we settle this right now! (He rips up the tickets.) There! Now, no one's going to the game. Ha-ha-ha!
Chandler: Yeah but when he proposed to me with the ring I got goose bumps.
Rachel: Yes, his name is Barry, hes a doctor, thank you very much.
(He walks out and Rachel stares at his butt as he leaves. He makes a wrong turn.)
Joey: I don't know uhh (Pause as he thinks about it.) Well, I'm Joey. Yeah, I'm disgusting, I take my underwear off in other people's homes.
(They try to stop him, not sure of what he's planning. He ignores them and goes to talk to Ross.)
PHOE: Oohh, um, no, I don't think that's the problem. 'Cause we went, um, dancing the other night and the way he held me so close, and the way he was looking into my eyes I just like... definitely felt something.
[The final one is from Episode 607: The One Where Phoebe Runs, Joey has been trying to repel Janice and sees its not working to his liking so hes confronting her about the sexual tension.]
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Rachel: (After he closes the door) See ya.
Joey: Oh man, pizza? I like pizza. (makes like he is trying to send a telepathic message to Rachel) Put olives on the pizza.
Ross: Thanks. (Gets up and as he does so, the sound returns. Without another word he heads into her bathroom.)
Rachel: (We see a flashback as Rachel describes what happened.) All right, we were shaking hands and he kinda leaned toward me Y'know maybe he was going to open the door, but I totally miss read him and I uhhh (The flashback shows that she kissed him on the cheek.)
Ross: (Bangs on the bathroom door) Emily? Emily? Im coming in. (He opens the door to reveal that the window is gone, along with Emily.)
Ross: Huh? I know, I know. Who am I? David Bowe? (Shakes his head around, pretending like hes jamming.)
Joey: Have a seat. (Mike sits on his bed, and Joey towers over him. He starts talking in an Italian godfather-type voice) Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... (shakes his head) I cannot allow this.
Rachel: Is he romantic with her?
(He points to where she's sitting and she jumps up quickly.)
Chandler: I know, I can do this. (He takes her hand.)
Ross: He gave me a pill for it.
Monica: It's this dumb thing that Ross made up `cause he was trying to fool our parents. It's a way of giving the finger, without actually having to give it. I remember I cried the night you made it up, `cause it was the first time that I realized that I was actually cooler than my older brother.
Rachel: (entering) Oh-ho, my God! That was so awesome! You totally got him back for calling you fat! He was just drooling all over you. That must've felt so great!
Rachel: There he is!
Joey: That's right, he almost could. Which is exactly how I got stuck there.
Joey: (snaps his fingers) He hooked up! He hooked up with someone.
Rachel: All right. Look. Gavin...I...I guess I felt guilty that you were here, which I shouldn't. You know Ross and I are not inany relationship but...he is the father of my child, and you know we do live together and plus there is just so muchhistory...you know it's just...I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm just all over the place.
Chandler: Theres a Phoebe on my sandwich! (He walks away, giving the sandwich to Phoebe.)
Joey's Doctor: Are you ready? It's time to try peeing. (Joey makes a face like he is trying to pee.) Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! It's almost time to try peeing. (Points at the bottle Joey is to pee into.)
Chandler: Oh. (Does a double take when he realizes what she just said.)
[Scene: The Telethon, Joey's phone rings and he answers it.]
Ross: I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, he is giving Monica a massage.]
Monica: Yeah, ah, but Pheebs dont you think hes a little young to get married?
Phoebe: Yeah, so, he had a really funny hatI don't want to talk about it.
Chandler: This is ridiculous, hes not gonna hold his breath (Ross cuts him off by taking a deep breath and holding it.)
Chandler: (grabbing the phone) Of course he has this big huge dog! That uh, barks into the night. (Listens.) Well, who doesn't love dogs? (Thinks.) Ah, he's a tap dancer! (Listens.) Yes, some would say that is a lost art. (Thinks.) He's a pimp! (Listens.) There you go! Yes, he's a pimp. He's a big, tap dancing pimp! (Pause.) Hello?
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is just finishing up a meeting with his boss and the rest of his team.]
ROSS: Ohh, big smoker. [Packs the cigarettes and flings one on Mrs. Greene in the process. Finally gets one in his mouth and it look really out of place] Big big smoker. In fact I'm gonna go ou into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. [as he walks into the hall, he comes face to face with Mr. Greene]
Joey: Here, I brought you some flowers. (He pulls them out of the bag.)
CHANDLER: Yeah, well sure, when he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat. . . all of the sudden I have this big attitude problem.
Rachel: Okay! Okay! Umm, Websters Dictionary defines marriage as (Ross and Joey start writing.) Okay!! Forget that! That sucks!! Okay, never mind! Forget it! Umm, umm, okay, uh I met, I-I met, I met Monica when we were just a couple of six year olds and I became friends with Chandler when he was 25, although he seemed like a six year old.
Ross: Wh-what did he say?!
Joey: All right, come on look, Ross can take care of himself! Its not like hes Chandler!
Ross: Joeys asking if youve just ruined the first book hes ever loved that didnt star Jack Nicholson?
Janice: Oh, I cannot believe hes using our divorce to sell mattresses.
Ross: Well, maybe he just didn't want to hurt your feelings.
Phoebe: (seeing the look on Chandler's face) He-he does not like it! He hates it! He's in pain!
[Scene: Joey's audition, he is with bag.]
(They all look down the hall he left from.)
Ross: (entering) Okay, that's it. I cannot make this decision! It is too difficult, so I'm just gonna leave it entirely to the gods of fate. (He holds up and starts shaking a )
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'
Phoebe: It's so obvious, why doesn't he just ask?
(Ross tries to clear off the pool table by knocking the balls to the other end of the table, but they all bounce back, and he frantically starts to throw them into the pockets.)
Minister: (Looking and feeling awkward. he looks towards Emily.) Uhh...Shall I go on?