words in movies
Monica: Oh my God. (Grabs Phoebe and turns her away) Phoebe. Don't look now, but behind us is a guy who has the potential to break our hearts and plunge us into a pit of depression.
Jay Leno: (on TV) Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.
Rachel: Chandler, I gotta tell you, I love your mom's books! I love her books! I cannot get on a plane without one! I mean, this is so cool!
(Rachel feeds something to Paolo. He eats it and licks her hand)
Ross: The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?
Joey: I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani was a handsome woman in her day, alright? You think it's easy giving birth to seven children?
Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
Phoebe: (Walks up with her guitar) Hey Rach.
Joey: C'mon! Just try to picture her not pregnant, that's all.
Phoebe: Thanks. Hi, um, 'kay. I'd like to start with a song that's about a man that I recently met, who's, um, come to be very important to me. (Monica gives her a look) 'Kay. (Sung:)
Chandler: Yes, well, I expect this from her. Okay? She's always been a Freudian nightmare.
Ross: No! Okay, you mean, you're not gonna talk to her, you're not gonna tell her how you feel?
Chandler: That would be no. Look, just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom doesn't mean you know her. Alright? Trust me, you can't talk to her.
Joey: Shh. He did it. He told her off, and not just about the kiss, about everything.
Chandler: Yeah, why not. (They shake hands) So I told her.
Chandler: Pretty good! I told her.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is handing out copies of her book to the gang.]
Rachel: Okay. Now this is just the first chapter, and I want your absolute honest opinion. Oh, oh, and on page two, he's not 'reaching for her heaving beasts'.
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
Phoebe: I suppose I could tell her it's just all my fault.
Gary: (To Phoebe) I'll see you after work sweetie. (Kisses her.)
Monica: That is so sweet! (She kisses him and turns to add some sugar to her tea.)
[Scene: Ursula's apartment, Phoebe is about to break the bad news to her sister. She knocks on the door.]
Joey: Because it's impossible to find her apartment! She lives in some like of hot girl parallel universe, or something.
(Phoebe kisses Rachel on the cheek, then joins her team.)
Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, (points to Ross) married a lesbian, (points to Rachel) left a man at the altar, (points to Phoebe) fell in love with a gay ice dancer, (points to Joey) threw a girls wooden leg in a fire, (points to Chandler) livin in a box!! (goes to her room)
Chandler: Yeah, I think I do! Y'know what? You move in with her! You move in with her right now! Maybe I should in with Monica!
Ross: Apparently she fell in the shower and hit her head.
Rachel: I tried! They won't take her back.
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe is giving him and pushes her away.)
Ross: Here (gets behind her to help. When the coat comes off we see she is wearing the exact same shirt Ross is wearing. They look at each other, shocked. They abruptly put their coat back on) So this was fun! (They leave the room and head into opposite directions)
Joey: Oh hey, here Pheebs. (He throws her the ball.)
Gary: (To Phoebe) Hi sweetie. (Kisses her.) Hi, can I talk to you for a second?
Phoebe: Okay, dont panic. Im gonna go to the store, Im gonna get you another set of nails, no ones gonna know, and youre gonna look great. (She runs over to get her coat.) Oh! Oh, its cause theyre gonna eatthats the problem.
Paula: Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just looking out after you.
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Ross: What's with her?
Joey: I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said dont, and I did it anyway and her head fell off?
Monica: Y'know what, I'm gonna hold her head.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day. Monica is coming out of the bathroom carrying her cleaning gear.]
Monica: (turning around and doing that, "I'm making out with someone," thing with her hands) Ooh, umm, oh Kathy! Kathy, I love you! Oh! (She turns around and sees Gunther staring at her and stops suddenly.)
Chandler: Yeah, I mean were gonna have to move around some furniture to make room for my chair. (Kisses her and heads into the living room.)
Phoebe: Thats okay. All right, Im gonna play song thats really, really sad. Its called Magician Box Mix Up. (she turns her guitar upside down to play it.)
Ross: You couldn't let me have her, could ya?!
Dr. Green: But what?! You figured youd get what you wanted and then dump her like you dumped Rachel!
MONICA: Ah, and I mean, he's going out with her? He can not persue this.
[Phoebe gets up and goes into Rachels old room, a smile on her face.]
Monica: Just like you told her you did! (Chandler glares at her.) ... Just pointing out the irony.
(Chandler cuts in front of her and hits the ball high and long.)
Danny: You are! (Hits her back.)
Ross: Thats not true! Her, she doesnt even know what she wants! Rachels still mad about the whole thing.
Rachel: Well, uh something about having second thoughts about the wedding and did you guys make a mistake breaking up and uh, she wants you to call her.
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is telling Chandler and Monica about her day.]
Rachel: (under her breath) Sucker!
Rachel: (checks her watch) Fifty-two minutes. (Pause) So no-no brothers and sisters, huh? That must be nice. You dont have to share stuff.
Monica: Hey Rach, remember that great song, Me, Myself, and I? (And on the "I" part she mimics poking her eye.)
Monica: I mean this has been like my dream since I got my first Easy Bake Oven and opened Easy Monicas Bakery. I mean I would kill for this job. I mean I can totally do this job, and God knows I paid my dues. (She removes her fake breasts) But Petes just doing this because he has a crush on me.
Ross: The physical act of love. (Hisses at her.)
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
Phoebe: (To Monica under her breath) Simmons! Go with Simmons!
CHANDLER: Sure. (My god, that's a big head! It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting. My head must look like a golf ball at work. All right, don't get hung up on it, quick, quick, list five things you like about her: Nice smile, good dresser...Big head, big head, big head!)
Gunther: Thanks Rachel. And-and don't forget you-you can come visit her anytime you want.
Racel: Yes and you talked to her...
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Mrs. Geller is cooking and Rachel, post nose job, is helping her.]
Phoebe: Yes! Now, she feels terrible! She really wants to make up! You gotta find her.
[Scene: Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross and Emily are standing in the reception area. Monica arrives with her parents.]
Janice: No, I-I-I gotta go. (she starts to walk away, but Chandler doesnt let her go.)
Joey: Who's your friend? He's hot! (Ross laughs and Rachel smacks him with her purse.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to apply her eye drops while Monica looks on.]
Joey: Well look, Im breaking up with Katie so I had to put on some extra padding. Y'know? I mean, if she hits me when she's happy, can you imagine how hard she's gonna hit me when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love?
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
Phoebe: (seeing her) Get out of here you lurker! (She doesn't move) Go on! Get! (She throws a quarter at her.)
Ross: You're right! (Gives her the twenty she won.)
Joey: Ross, don't let her drink anymore! (Exits)
Ross: Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way. (Points in the other direction. Rachel hits him with her purse and heads for the ladies room.)
(Tim leans in to kiss her. They stop, and when he tries to kiss her again, Monica pulls away.)
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Was it her quarter?
Monica: (putting off her coat) Ooh, this always happens. (Her coat gets stuck.)
Monica: Ohh. (Rubs her fake stomach.)
Chandler: (looks around) Here just take this. (Hands her the sweater.)
[Scene: The casino, Phoebe is playing on a slot machine. Suddenly the lurker sticks her head around the aisle of slot machines.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just gotten home and is going through the mail. She finds something that's Monica's and goes over and knocks on her closed bedroom door.]
Rachel: Wait! (Gets her bearings) Okay!
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
Chandler: Oh, that would be Monica. Hey, listen, I wanna borrow a coupla things, Aurora spent the night, I really wanna make her breakfast.
Ronni: Oh no, not you, big Joey. Oh my God, you're so much cuter than your pictures! (Joey stares at her) I-I'm, I'm Ronni....Cheese Nip?
[Scene: Rachel's new job, she's in her new boss's office (Kim's) and with the other assistant (Nancy). Together they're deciding what clothes to buy or something, who knows, let's all watch/read to find out.]
Phoebe: Okay! Thanks! Happy Holidays, here's your joy. (She waves her arm and spreads her joy.)
Joey: Oh! Tell her shes not marriage material.
Rachel: Please! During that second time you couldn't have picked her out of a lineup!
Rachel: Nope! (She puts one in her mouth and spits it out, then does it again in another direction.)
Chandler: Huh-huh! You can't give her that.
MONICA: Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See [squeezes her breast] honk honk.
Ross: That that's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures!
(Carol takes off her jacket, her pregnant belly is exposed.)
Rachel: Okay! (She goes and gets her surprise and when she returns with it, Ross stares in shock.) Check it out!
Monica: No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. (He glares at her.) Come on sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we?
Rachel: What are you talking about Pheebs? (Takes out her compact) I don't (She gasps when she looks in the mirror and sees her face.) (To Ross) Oh my God, you drew on me?!
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Ross: Y'know, it-it doesn't matter. The important thing is that you're here. You're my friend, and you're here. Oh! (He goes over and hugs her.)
(Joey and Monica rush over to her.)
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and shes the only one left!
The Security Guard: Come on, lady! (Starts to escort her out.)
Rachel: Ross, you know what? (looks over to the door and sees security staring at them) Okay, let's talk about it later, there comes security. (Takes her box and leaves. Ross follows her and then returns for the chair. He stands for a moment, then pushes it quickly in the general direction Rachel went into, and out of the camera's view, and then nonchalantly walks away)
Rachel: Okay. (Sits back and resumes her reading.)
Chandler: Its-its about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually.
Rachel: Sure? (Monica hands her one.) Thanks.
Will: Yeah, I hated her. She was horrible to me in high school. But hey, it was a long time ago, Im in a good place, it might be actually fun to see her again. You got any cakes or cookies or something? (Starts looking.) No Will no!
Joey: I don't know. But I can see through your sheet. (He looks out the window.) Yeah, yeah, that's her. But y'know what? Doesn't matter, I'm never gonna get to meet her anyway.
Rachel: (she's wearing an oven mitt to protect her hand) I give up you guys, I don't know what I'm going to do with this thing!
Ross: Ooh! Theres no way to do this without her? Cause I kinda all ready told her uh, it was, it was already taken care of.
Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timings right. And thats what deathbeds are for.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Pheebs, I wanna ask you something.
Phoebe: You didnt tell her did you?
Phoebe: Of course not, because youre in love with her.
Phoebe: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Phoebe: Okay, just tell me this, did you or did you not smell her hair?