words in movies
(Everyone looks at her)
Monica: (pinching her) Let's get you out of here!! (they go outside)
David: I'm sorry, uh... I just wish I could make her forget about Mike already, you know... Why did Phoebe and Mike break up?
David: That's great! That's great! I-I'll propose to her!
Chandler: Monica, can I talk to you for a sec? (Pulls her away from Phoebe and Rachel)
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: "Mike, do you take Phoebe..." (gestures with her hand as if someone is covering her mouth and tries to shout "No! No!") You know, it's every girl's dream!
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Monica: This is Monica! I'm Phoebe's friend. Listen, Phoebe is back with David and he's going to propose to her, and she is going to say "yes" but I know she really wants to be with you!
Monica: I... I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear through all this damned hair! (Tries to move her huge hair away from the phone, in vain)
Monica: You don't tell me what to do! I tell you what to do! Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados. And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in humidity? (Mike hangs up the phone) Damnit!
Chandler: (pointing at her) Oooooooh! Meddler! Meddler!
Joey: In that case should I make sure it's on real good? (he does so, repeatedly tapping on her breast and stroking it)
Ross: Oh my God, we did it! (he sits beside her and skims through her notes excitedly)
Rachel: (takes a sip from her drink, embarassed) No.
Joey: You like someone. Tell me who it is. Who is it? (tickles her a little)
Rachel: Joey! (she walks away; Joey goes after her teasing and tickling her)
Mike: Hi David. Chandler. Monica... (Looks at Monica, checking her big hair, aghast) Oh!
David: I have a question I was kinda gonna ask her myself.
(Ross goes towards Charlie, who's conversing with a fellow paleontologist, and touches her shoulder to get her attention)
Monica: (her hair bigger then before) I can't believe it's raining again! Oh, it's so unfair!!!
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
(Monica rolls her eyes)
Chandler: (interrupting her) OK!
Monica: (going through her pockets) No... (to Chandler and Phoebe) Either of you girls got a quarter?
Phoebe: (picks up a coin from her bra) Monica, you call it.
(He punches her on her shoulder mockingly, then goes and sits down on her bed)
Rachel: Yeah, I'm not talking about her...
Joey: But then who? The waitress I went out with last month? (gives her a meaningful look)
(Joey walks out, while Rachel is pensive. Once he's out of her room, he suddenly realizes who she was talking about and goes back in. He looks at her in disbelief and she looks like she was caught red-handed)
Rachel: (regretful) I'm sorry, too! (they look at each other sadly, then she recollects, and puts her hands over her eyes) OH GOD! I shouldn't have said anything!
(Joey hurriedly stands up, arms akimbo, gives her an embarrassed look and walks away)
(Chandler turns to look at Monica, who has the biggest hair ever, is flushed and in a sweat, and is decidedly sniffing her armpits)
Phoebe: C'mon Mike, you can beat her! Knock that dog off her head!
Mr. Oberblau: (seeing her) Oh, you're back... (to Ross) this is my wife, Nancy.
Ross: (holding her hand) Hey, you ok?
(they start playing again; suddenly Monica hits the table with her hand)
Monica: (in pain) Aww! (she holds her hand, moaning like she's biting back a scream)
(Charlie kisses Ross, they stop for a moment and then he kisses her back)
(Joey walks in and sees Ross and Charlie kissing. He gives a faint, rueful smile, then he seems to recollect something and suddenly he moves back to Rachel's room. He knocks on her door and she opens)
(Joey says nothing, but enters the room and kisses her. They are kissing passionately only to stop for a brief "oh" from Rachel. They continue their passionate kiss and Joey closes the door with his foot and it shuts in the camera's "face". And that's the end of the ninth season.)
Ross: Oh, I thought it was just a kid yelling, "Im gay! Im gay!" Can I bring her in?
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Phoebe: (To Joey) Okay quick, help me get this off! (Motions to her top.)
(Phoebe jumps on to the table and lays down, Ross follows her and hits his head on the light hanging over the pool table.)
Phoebe: No, no, no! Don't call her! You wait for her to call you (Joey considers it)
[Time lapse, Rachel is entering her apartment after breaking up with Tag.]
Rachel: (entering from her room) Hey guys do you think this is too sluttyHi Kash!
RACHEL: (after a pause with everyone staring at her, she goes up to the microphone) Ya, know what Barr, I'm not gonna leave. I probably should, but I'm not, see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings (da-doom-chesh). See now, tonight, all I really wanted was to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. Well (laughing), I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen. There's nothing really left to say except....(starts singing) "Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. With yellow feathers (band joins in), feathers in her hair, and a dress cut down to there. She would..."
Chandler: (To Rachel) Okay, will you just go help her change please!
[Scene: Central Park, Phoebe is now riding her bike with ease and stops in front of Ross. They both giggle.]
Rachel: (showing Phoebe her phone) His new girlfriend!
Rachel: No so were protecting her.
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is getting shown to her desk by the supervisor.]
Chandler: Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.
Hums While He Pees: No its Uh, my ex-wife Whitney is out there. I cannot deal with her right now. That woman is crazy!
Cecilia: Oh yeah-yeah, we should get the (Pause) So when Jessica kisses a man, she usually puts umm, both her hands on the mans face. (She does so.)
Joey: Yeah! Okay. (He puts his hands on her face and they kiss.)
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
Receptionist: (holds up her handshe is on the phone) It says to call this number if you're not completely satisfied with this candy bar. Well, I'm not completely satisfied.
Joey: That sketch you mentioned? Might it have looked a little something like this? (He shows her what hes been drawing.)
Ross: Well, these. These are yours right here. (Pointing to the boxes they just created for her.)
Chandler: (Looking down at her hand) Yes, yes I am. Err, listen, the reason that I called you in here today was, err... please dont hate me.
Rachel: Yeah? Okay! Good, good, because he's coming. He's coming. (To Chandler) Hey, what's up? (She leaves and closes the door behind her.)
Joey: When do you think we lost her?
Phoebe: Happy thirtieth birthday! Here! (Hands her the hippity-hop.) Its for the child in you, and the woman. Happy thirtieth!
(Ross hesitates then leans down trying to get her to kiss his cheek, but she moves his head around and kisses him on the lips again.)
Chandler: Sorry, I just dont like the idea of when I say, "I do," hes thinking, "Yeah, Id do her too!"
Chandler: What 'not work out'? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. Didn't you listen to the story?
Monica: (entering) Hey guys! Do you wanna look at the song list for the wedding? (They ignore her.) Guys?
Frank: Oh, I knew youd be so cool about this. All right, ah, hey, do you want to meet her?
Phoebe: Oh my God! (Joey looks at her.) Im sorry, too soon. You go.
Rachel: (thinks) Yknow, I dont-I dont know. Let me, let me check. (As she heads for her office, she stops glances over her should at Tag, looks into her office, and finds the folder on her desk.)
Joey: I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna (grimaces and tenses up) pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her.
Ross: Yeah-yeah, help me out here, when you come out of the "brain transplant," you are going to be her?
Ben: (mimicking her) Remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
Rachel: (entering from her room) Whoa what?
Chandler: Let me see this guy. (Phoebe hands him the picture.) W-H-Wow! Dont show this to Monica! And dont tell her about the W-H-Wow!
Rachel: Oh my God you stole her award!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is coming back from work to find Phoebe, Rachel, and someone else with her back turned is there.]
Janice: I love this artichoke thing! Oh, don't tell me what's in it, the diet starts tomorrow! (Laughs her Janice laugh)
Chandler: (imitating Monica) Oh, and you know whose knowledge of her ex-boyfriend is shocking? Monica!
Rachel: Sup? (Joey glares at her.)
Joey: No-no! No, Im accepting it on her behalf. (He puts it up above the TV to display it.)
Rachel: Hey! Have you guys seen Jill? I cant find her anywhere.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Honey, we have to go. Our reservations are at 8:00.
Cecilia: And if it were true, how dare you come to me ask me for tips about a character that Ive been playing for 20 yearsIll give you a tip! (She throws her drink in his face.)
Chandler: Hey, by any chance did either of pick uh Rachel for your secret Santa, cause I wanna trade for her.
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Oh my God! We have to throw her a shower?!
Phoebe: I have liver damage. Ow! Oh! (She grabs the left side of her torso.)
Monica: Because Purvry Perverson over here cant stop staring at her.
Rachel: (To Phoebe, after Monicas gone) We have to get her a present?!
[Scene: Silvercup Studios, Joey and Rachel are there to give Jessica her award.]
Monica: (Entering from her bedroom) How desperate am I?
Rachel: Oh my God youre amazing! Did you just pull that out of her purse?
Rachel: So what?! Yknow what? The way I see it(Phoebe pulls out a hair from the back of her head)Ow! Son of a bitch!!
Phoebe: You were supposed to tell her!
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
Phoebe: Oh sure! (She goes to take her feet off, but drags the sheet with her which spills the wine.) Noo!
Rachel: (to her) Hi! Im Rachel. This is Phoebe. Im the maid of honor. How do you know Monica?
Phoebe: Fine, Ill go call her.
Joey: Uh listen, heres your Soapie. I accepted it for ya. (Hands it to her.)
Ross: Dad that wont matter to her. Look, all my stuff is safe and dry and all her is-is, is growing new stuff! See, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes her think you guys love me more than you love her.
Monica: (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you dont wanna get with this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesnt work all that well with the big robe.)
Monica: Would you slap me? Would you slap me right here in the face?! (Points to her cheek.)
Rachel: Yes! And please tell her to bring a cake!
Cassie: (noticing her) What?
Phoebe: (in her head) Say something! Say anything! Ask her out! Shes not your cousin!
Monica: Well then somebodys snoozing. Joey, not that this uh should affect you at all, but if you were to pick me, I was planning on wearing a sequined dress, cut down to here. (Points to her stomach just above her belly button.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, late at night Monica is still examining her bill as Rachel emerges from her room.]
Joey: Hey Rach. (Stares at her.)
(Betty waggles her fingers to say "Hi", but Phoebe feels her birthday has been ruined by her twin.)
Rachel: Can I please be there when you tell her? (Joey nods yes.)
RACHEL: Ok, you know what, lemme, let me just see what else I can do. All right, look, look. Why don't you just let her go on after Stephanie whatever-her-name-is. I mean, you won't even be here. You don't pay her. It's not gonna cost you anything.
Joey: Oh good! Can I tell her?! Can I tell her?!
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
Phoebe: Well, just buy the damn boat! (Shes still working her way through her tray of booze.)
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
(Monica stands up and wobbles slightly and Chandler runs over to catch her.)
Rachel: Oh, with the mother, just... just constantly tell her how amazing her son is. Take it from me, moms love me. Ross's mom one time actually said I'm like the daughter that she never had.
Chandler: Math!! Youre giving me math! All right, look y'know what, forget about it, you go for the girl, well see who gets her.
(Suddenly, Phoebe leans in and kisses her on the lips!)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
Chandler: (watching in her) (in his head) Look at her go! She must love me more than I love her! Whats wrong with me? Ooh, dont open that door.
Chandler: Im so pathetic! Monica knows what she wants to say! You shouldve seen her. Writing, writing, writing!
Jessica Lockhart: (crying) Oh, my baby! (Hugs Dina, but moves Dinas head to her other shoulder so that shes the only one in the picture.)
Phoebe: Oh! Yeah! (Monica glares at her.)
Chandler: (seeing her) Okay.
Ross: Hows Monica coming along with her vows?
<Everyone is shocked and Monica faints and Ross catches her>
Joey: You may be a sissy but I'll still (pound you out on ground). All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do oneeyebrow and now... they don�t match!
(Rachel goes to the fridge, opens it, and blows on the whistle Monica gave her at the store, which causes Phoebe and Monica to turn around and look at her.)
Fran: Im gonna wait till after we order. Its her, right.
Rachel: Oh yeah? Did he pull the old (She is waving her hand up and down her face. Shes thinking about the pencil mark.)
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
Chandler: Love her! That's right, I LOVE HER!!! I love her!! (They walk together and hug.) I love you, Monica.
Ross: (in his head) Say something clever! (Pause.) Okay, doesnt have to be clever, it just has to be words. Say some words. (Pause) Any words will do. (Pause) Oh my God! This is the longest that anyone has not talked ever! (Pause) There is nothing you can say to make this worse!! So just say something!! (Pause.) (To her) I-I, I uh havent had sex in a very long time. (She leaves.) (In his head) Yeah, you really shouldnt have said anything.
Rachel: Well... well, what did you do to make her laugh? (excited)
[Scene: A Street, Rachel is throwing her coat into the Porsche and getting in.]