words in movies
[Two guys walk over and interrupt her. Theyre both names youve already heard. Ones Billy Crystal. Yes, that Billy Crystal from City Slickers. The other one is Robin Williams. Yes, that Robin Williams from Mrs. Doubtfire.]
(Robin interrupts her again by complaining loudly to Billy as the camera cuts to them.)
Robin: I have a feelin... I, my wife is sleeping with her gynaecologist.
Robin: (starting to cry) Ooh, (to Rachel) Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? (Rachel tries to grab one, but is to slow for his tastes.) Would you--Give me this thing (grabs the napkin holder from her.) all right!! Enough! (to Billy) And you are no longer my friend! We are finished! (gets up to leave) Nada!! No more! You are a bastard for doing this!! (Billy follows him) Get away from me!!
Rachel: Y'know I dont, I dont understand guys, I mean I-I would never congratulate Monica on a great stew by y'know, grabbin her boob.
Phoebe: You remember her from my birthday party two years ago. Shes yeah, like, average height, medium build, bald...
Pete: Monica! (runs over and kisses her) Hi honey.
Phoebe: Well, maybe it wont work out. Maybe Ross wont like her personality.
Monica: Four, please. (Ross looks at her) Im really nervous. (Ross gives her the four dogs) Thank you. (she grabs four buns, and heads back inside)
Ross: What? Oh! I gotta tell you, I-I wasnt expecting to like her at all, I mean I actually wasnt expecting to like anyone right now, but shes really terrific.
Ross: No, I-Im saying I liked her.
Phoebe: No! No! Look at that! (drags her away from the window) Its a line of ants! Theyre working as a team!
Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Lets go.
Rachel: Come on Phoebe, look at that! They are not breaking up, look at them. Okay thats, you know what that is? That is a, that is a second date, thats what that is! Look at that, she just put her hand on his thigh...
Rachel: Ohh! (walking away from the window) Phoebe, this is all your fault! Now he loves her, hes gonna marry her, and this is all your fault.
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Phoebe: (sits down next to her and hugs her) Oh no.
Rachel: Oh, I cant watch this. (turns her eyes away)
Ross: Here (gets behind her to help. When the coat comes off we see she is wearing the exact same shirt Ross is wearing. They look at each other, shocked. They abruptly put their coat back on) So this was fun! (They leave the room and head into opposite directions)
Joey: Oh hey, here Pheebs. (He throws her the ball.)
Gary: (To Phoebe) Hi sweetie. (Kisses her.) Hi, can I talk to you for a second?
Phoebe: Okay, dont panic. Im gonna go to the store, Im gonna get you another set of nails, no ones gonna know, and youre gonna look great. (She runs over to get her coat.) Oh! Oh, its cause theyre gonna eatthats the problem.
Paula: Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just looking out after you.
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
Ross: What's with her?
Joey: I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said dont, and I did it anyway and her head fell off?
Monica: Y'know what, I'm gonna hold her head.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, later that day. Monica is coming out of the bathroom carrying her cleaning gear.]
Monica: (turning around and doing that, "I'm making out with someone," thing with her hands) Ooh, umm, oh Kathy! Kathy, I love you! Oh! (She turns around and sees Gunther staring at her and stops suddenly.)
Chandler: Yeah, I mean were gonna have to move around some furniture to make room for my chair. (Kisses her and heads into the living room.)
Phoebe: Thats okay. All right, Im gonna play song thats really, really sad. Its called Magician Box Mix Up. (she turns her guitar upside down to play it.)
Ross: You couldn't let me have her, could ya?!
Dr. Green: But what?! You figured youd get what you wanted and then dump her like you dumped Rachel!
MONICA: Ah, and I mean, he's going out with her? He can not persue this.
[Phoebe gets up and goes into Rachels old room, a smile on her face.]
Monica: Just like you told her you did! (Chandler glares at her.) ... Just pointing out the irony.
(Chandler cuts in front of her and hits the ball high and long.)
Danny: You are! (Hits her back.)
Ross: Thats not true! Her, she doesnt even know what she wants! Rachels still mad about the whole thing.
Rachel: Well, uh something about having second thoughts about the wedding and did you guys make a mistake breaking up and uh, she wants you to call her.
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is telling Chandler and Monica about her day.]
Rachel: (under her breath) Sucker!
Rachel: (checks her watch) Fifty-two minutes. (Pause) So no-no brothers and sisters, huh? That must be nice. You dont have to share stuff.
Monica: Hey Rach, remember that great song, Me, Myself, and I? (And on the "I" part she mimics poking her eye.)
Monica: I mean this has been like my dream since I got my first Easy Bake Oven and opened Easy Monicas Bakery. I mean I would kill for this job. I mean I can totally do this job, and God knows I paid my dues. (She removes her fake breasts) But Petes just doing this because he has a crush on me.
Ross: The physical act of love. (Hisses at her.)
Chandler: No! Her boyfriend Richard!
Phoebe: (To Monica under her breath) Simmons! Go with Simmons!
CHANDLER: Sure. (My god, that's a big head! It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting. My head must look like a golf ball at work. All right, don't get hung up on it, quick, quick, list five things you like about her: Nice smile, good dresser...Big head, big head, big head!)
Gunther: Thanks Rachel. And-and don't forget you-you can come visit her anytime you want.
Racel: Yes and you talked to her...
[Scene: The Geller household kitchen, Mrs. Geller is cooking and Rachel, post nose job, is helping her.]
Phoebe: Yes! Now, she feels terrible! She really wants to make up! You gotta find her.
[Scene: Rehearsal dinner hall. Ross and Emily are standing in the reception area. Monica arrives with her parents.]
Janice: No, I-I-I gotta go. (she starts to walk away, but Chandler doesnt let her go.)
Joey: Who's your friend? He's hot! (Ross laughs and Rachel smacks him with her purse.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to apply her eye drops while Monica looks on.]
Joey: Well look, Im breaking up with Katie so I had to put on some extra padding. Y'know? I mean, if she hits me when she's happy, can you imagine how hard she's gonna hit me when I tell her I'm taking away the Joey love?
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
Phoebe: (seeing her) Get out of here you lurker! (She doesn't move) Go on! Get! (She throws a quarter at her.)
Chandler: That would be no. Look, just because you played tonsil tennis with my mom doesn't mean you know her. Alright? Trust me, you can't talk to her.
Ross: You're right! (Gives her the twenty she won.)
Joey: Ross, don't let her drink anymore! (Exits)
Ross: Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way. (Points in the other direction. Rachel hits him with her purse and heads for the ladies room.)
(Tim leans in to kiss her. They stop, and when he tries to kiss her again, Monica pulls away.)
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Was it her quarter?
Monica: (putting off her coat) Ooh, this always happens. (Her coat gets stuck.)
Monica: Ohh. (Rubs her fake stomach.)
Chandler: (looks around) Here just take this. (Hands her the sweater.)
[Scene: The casino, Phoebe is playing on a slot machine. Suddenly the lurker sticks her head around the aisle of slot machines.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel has just gotten home and is going through the mail. She finds something that's Monica's and goes over and knocks on her closed bedroom door.]
Rachel: Wait! (Gets her bearings) Okay!
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
Chandler: Oh, that would be Monica. Hey, listen, I wanna borrow a coupla things, Aurora spent the night, I really wanna make her breakfast.
Ronni: Oh no, not you, big Joey. Oh my God, you're so much cuter than your pictures! (Joey stares at her) I-I'm, I'm Ronni....Cheese Nip?
[Scene: Rachel's new job, she's in her new boss's office (Kim's) and with the other assistant (Nancy). Together they're deciding what clothes to buy or something, who knows, let's all watch/read to find out.]
Phoebe: Okay! Thanks! Happy Holidays, here's your joy. (She waves her arm and spreads her joy.)
Joey: Oh! Tell her shes not marriage material.
Rachel: Please! During that second time you couldn't have picked her out of a lineup!
Rachel: Nope! (She puts one in her mouth and spits it out, then does it again in another direction.)
Chandler: Huh-huh! You can't give her that.
MONICA: Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See [squeezes her breast] honk honk.
Ross: That that's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures!
(Carol takes off her jacket, her pregnant belly is exposed.)
Rachel: Okay! (She goes and gets her surprise and when she returns with it, Ross stares in shock.) Check it out!
Monica: No, they gave us glasses with lipstick on them! I mean, if they didn't change the glasses, who knows what else they didn't change. (He glares at her.) Come on sweetie, I just want this weekend to be perfect, I mean we can change rooms, can't we?
Rachel: What are you talking about Pheebs? (Takes out her compact) I don't (She gasps when she looks in the mirror and sees her face.) (To Ross) Oh my God, you drew on me?!
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Ross: Y'know, it-it doesn't matter. The important thing is that you're here. You're my friend, and you're here. Oh! (He goes over and hugs her.)
(Joey and Monica rush over to her.)
Monica: I just tell her, I have to get it over with. I told Ross and Phoebe and shes the only one left!
The Security Guard: Come on, lady! (Starts to escort her out.)
Rachel: Ross, you know what? (looks over to the door and sees security staring at them) Okay, let's talk about it later, there comes security. (Takes her box and leaves. Ross follows her and then returns for the chair. He stands for a moment, then pushes it quickly in the general direction Rachel went into, and out of the camera's view, and then nonchalantly walks away)
Rachel: Okay. (Sits back and resumes her reading.)
Chandler: Its-its about Kathy. Umm, uh, I like her. I like her a lot actually.
Rachel: Sure? (Monica hands her one.) Thanks.
Will: Yeah, I hated her. She was horrible to me in high school. But hey, it was a long time ago, Im in a good place, it might be actually fun to see her again. You got any cakes or cookies or something? (Starts looking.) No Will no!
Joey: I don't know. But I can see through your sheet. (He looks out the window.) Yeah, yeah, that's her. But y'know what? Doesn't matter, I'm never gonna get to meet her anyway.
Rachel: (she's wearing an oven mitt to protect her hand) I give up you guys, I don't know what I'm going to do with this thing!
Ross: Ooh! Theres no way to do this without her? Cause I kinda all ready told her uh, it was, it was already taken care of.
Chandler: All right look, if you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timings right. And thats what deathbeds are for.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Pheebs, I wanna ask you something.
Phoebe: You didnt tell her did you?
Phoebe: Of course not, because youre in love with her.
Phoebe: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Phoebe: Okay, just tell me this, did you or did you not smell her hair?
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
Rachel: Ohh! Oh God! (Laughs her way into the living room.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at the counter waiting for Gunther, yep Gunthers back, to refill her coffee.]
Rachel: Its good. Except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long. Did you know that something really boring happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages? (to the waitress handing her a cup of coffee) Oh, thank you. Ill see you guys later.
Ross: I.....got.....dressed. Really, really quickly. Okay, okay. (Rachel starts to follow Monica into her room, but Ross stops her and sends her back to her room.) There we go, there we go.
Ross: (stares at her briefly) Okay, why are you here?
Monica: (following her) Phoebe! I have to have those earrings, we're going to leave as soon as the show is over.
Chandler: She's not gonna care if I put her stuff back in the same stupid place.
Rachel: (To the woman sitting in front of her) He-he said Rachel, right? Do you think I should go up there?
Monica: Hi. Uh, my friend here was taking down our Christmas lights, and and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or or ankle or something.
Rachel: (taking off her sweater) Okay umm, Ross? I'm-I'm really warm, so I'm going to be taking off my sweater. Now, I'm just letting you know that this is not an invitation to the physical act of love.