words in movies
pain as Monica grabs him underwater)-Diet Coke.
(Joey gives him a thumbs up and heads for the chicken.)
Monica: You're going to talk to him! Y'know what? We made a deal, I make your decisions and I say you're going to talk to him.
Joey: Say that to him and you're golden. (She just glares at him.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters to find Monica waiting patiently for him. He closes the door and they start kissing.]
Monica: I just ran into Dave and he told me that you blew him off! I mean, you listen to me! Now, I'm calling the shots! I say you leave Ross alone and go get Dave! What the hell were you trying to do?
Rachel: Well, ultimately, I was trying y'know, I-I wanted tell him y'know, that I'm still in love with him.
Monica: (Gasps) What?!! You cannot tell him that!!
Monica: All right, Rachel, I know-I know you think I'm crazy, please, before you tell him you love him, just-just try to find one person who thinks this is a good idea. Because I bet you, you can't.
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey-whoa-whoa-whoa!! Ho-ho-hold on a sec there, Mr. Kissey! Y'know, I've been meaning to talk to you about this whole, little, new European thing you got going on, and I just need to tell you that it makes me very uncomfortable and I justy'knowstop it!
Monica: No! Rachel, you didn't find anyone so you can't tell him.
Chandler: (ignoring him) Yes, Gunther, can I get two cups of chino, please?
The Salesman: Yeah. Could you just sign right here please? (Hands him a clipboard.)
Rachel: (tearful) I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family-
(Joey jumps up in excitement and without turning around Chandler holds out his hand stopping him, and ushering him back into his seat. Joey sits down, dejected.)
Ross: Well I I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)
Ross: No, its not just cause Im jealous. (Both Monica and Chandler give him a Come on look) I mean Im not, Im not, Im not jealous, okay? Its Look, the guy, he screamed, he actually screamed at this couple sitting in our seats.
Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldnt give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!
Monica: Okay, heres your milk. What do you want to talk about? (She sees that Chandler has fallen asleep and slams the door loudly to wake him up.)
(Surprised, uttering Ahhs and Ohhs, the others are coming over to him.)
Rachel: Excuse me! (and she walks back to Joey, who is still looking very impressed about what Ross said to him. Rachel looks at him and hits him.) You didn't tell him, did you?
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is running up the stairs and towards his apartment, but Joey is taking out the garbage at the same time and stops him in the hall.]
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
Joey: No, but its okay. She just came in and gave him a hug, that it.
JOEY: It's gonna be worth it. It's a known fact that women love babies, all righ? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack o' babes over there. Maybe one of them will break away. No, no wait, for get them, we got one, hard left. All right, gimme the baby.
Rachel: Oh yes I do. I do. I believe that there is one perfect person out there for everyone. And do you know how you find him? You stop looking for him. Thats why I stopped looking for Russell Crowe. Hell find me.
Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)
Joey: Look, Pheebs, I just, I wanna apologize for, for saying that your method was stupid and-and maybe ask you to be my teacher again. And-and I promise, I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready. (After a short pause she hands him her guitar.) You really think I'm ready?
Phoebe: Uh, only if you have the hiccups too. Yeah, the pictures are for you, the water and the chocolate is for me. I just didnt feel like getting up. Okay, Im gonna show you a picture of Ross. Okay? And youre going to remember all of the bad things about him. All right? Really focus on his flaws.
Chandler: Hey-hey, hey! (Gets up and hugs him.) I dont know why I did that!
Rachel: Yeah I know. She ran into him at my office and they just made out. And the craziest thing is, now my boss likes me because I told her about it and she said it was the best gossip shed heard all year.
Joey: Ooooooooooh, I slept with you! And you obviously remember me Hey! I still got it. (Turns back to Hayley) so were good. (She just glares at him) I'll let myself out.
Ross: (looking at Joey's butt) I'm finding it really hard not to mess with him.
Rachel: So what are you saying; I should run him under hot water and bang his head against a table?
Chandler: See? (Does his laugh.) Here we go. (Starts walking her to their room, and has to pass in front of Mr. Geller whos sitting at the table and Mrs. Geller whos standing next to him.)
Joey: I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)
MONICA: (suddenly starts issuing him out) Ah, it's an honest mistake.� It could happen to anyone.� All right, see ya.
Chandler: Right, calm down, O'Mally. I'll slip him some money.
Chandler: Ho-oh, hes gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Yknow so umm, hes closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well, Im off to bed! (Goes to bed.)
CHANDLER: I can't believe you got us into trouble. [slaps Joey on the arm. Joey takes exception and slaps him back]
Rachel: Oh, no! No you guys! Come on, you dont have to do that! Im happy for him! I am! I reallyIm-Im happIll work on it.
ROSS: Hey Joey I have to cancel racketball for tonight, that was Marcel's trainer. He's gonna let me have him for a couple of hours.
Joey: Why don't you go see Frankie? My family's been goin' to him forever. He did my first suit when I was 15. No wait, 16. No, 'scuse me, 15. (still confused) All right, when was 1990?
Rachel: All right, will you, will you at least tell him how hollow and unsatisfying this, dating tons of women thing is!
Phoebe: Yeah, I can't say that. uhm... Susie, I'm gonna be straight with you... Mike and I are back together... and uhm... unfortunately that effectively ends your relationship with him. And he's very sorry about that and wishes you the best of luck in all your endeavours.
MONICA: Oh, actually this year we just made him homemade cookies.
Chandler: You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.
JOEY: No no, seriously, Chandler and I were just talkin about this. He is so much cooler than our dads. [Chandler starts kicking him below the table] I mean, you know, our dad's are ok, ya know, but Richard is just- ow, ow. What are you kickin me for? Huh? I'm tryin to talk here.
Monica: And when he's naked I can throw him out in the front yard and lock the door and all the neighbors will just humiliate him!
Monica: Its not a date, okay. Im just gonna teach him how to make lasagne for some pot luck dinner he has.
Phoebe: Well, but thats what he was for me. And she you know, kind of stole him away, and then... broke his heart... and then he wouldnt even talk to me any more. Because he said he didnt wanna be around... anything that looked like either one of us.
Guru Saj: I dont know, whats a koondis with you? (starts laughing as if that joke was funny, Ross only looks at him, and he stops) Please, lie down! Ive got a sav that oughta shrink that right up.
Rachel: Well lets see. Maybe he knows where Ross is. (They walk towards Chandler) Hey, how's it going (tries to look as un-interested in him as possible - checking out her nails).
Ross: So, did he get on one knee, did he have a speech prepared, or (in a tender way) did he cry? (the guys look at him) Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals!
Rachel: So. Ross, Ive bugged him about this a million times, hes not gonna change.
Chandler: Trust me, you dont want him there either. Okay? Nobody is gonna be staring at the bride when the father of the groom is wearing a back-less dress.
Ross: I didn't wanna leave him alone. Alright? We- we had our first fight this morning. I think it has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean, and he- he threw some faeces...
PHOEBE: Yeah, come on. You know you want it, you know you want it too, come on. Let's just be bad, it'll feel so good. [She starts scratching him.]
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, well your friends are in violation of it. Ive been a nice guy up until now, but uh, I dont need this grief. Im gonna call the landlord and tell him that Monica is illegally subletting here grandmothers apartment. Your friends are outta here pal.
Monica:: Hey Rach its me ok I just got the Chandler's room and I caught him molesting himself.
Charlie: Ok, you want the dirt? Alby was seriously insecure. I mean, he was really intimidated by the guy I dated before him.
Rachel: (spinning the bottle) So, Spin the Bottle works like this: I spin the bottle, it lands on Gunther, so I would have to kiss Gunther. (She crawls over to where Gunther is sitting and sees the look of anticipation on Gunthers face and decides not to kiss him.) All right. Who wants to go first?
Chandler: Im so tired. (She starts kissing him.) Yeah okay, but no foreplay.
Rachel: Yeah thats right you werent thinking! Yknow what? Let me give you something to think about! (She pulls up her sleeves and steps towards him.)
(Ross resumes his patrol when his best friend and sister walk up and start to take off their coats, but they stop when they see him.)
Monica: Well, youre making him a frieze salad with goat cheese and pine nuts, wild nuts, wild rice, roast asparagus, and salmon au croup.
Rachel: Really! God Ross, what were you thinking? (To Phoebe, quietly) I know its really shallow, but a part of me wants him again.
Joey: Yeah, then-then who's the guy that painted the faces on the mountain? (Chandler gives him a look like 'You stupid idiot!')
Rachel: Don't let him in! I'm supposed to be at a regatta gala.
Joey: Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. (Does a chord and Monica starts taking pictures of him and Phoebe. They both start to strike a pose with the excessive amount of pictures that Monica takes.)
Phoebe: Umm, no, not at first 'cause I-I don't want to freak him out
Phoebe: Oh Joey, you bummed him out! This was the happiest dog in the world, and he spends half a day with you, and look at him!
Joanna: The only person that should feel awkward is you, and you didnt tell him not to call me, did you?
[Joey just laughs as a third set of flashbacks featuring Chandlers mistakes starts. The first flashback is from The One With The Prom Video. It's Chandler telling Phoebe how much he hates the bracelet Joey bought him. They're both at Central Perk.]
Rachel: Good-good, dont tell him. Dont tell him. Just have him call me okay?
Joey: Or, I could just point to it! Huh? Blah, blah, blah, Purina One, point to a bag today. (She just looks at him.) I didnt get it, did I?
Joey: Oh that's mine too! (Grabs it and Ross looks at him.) I'm Italian!
Ross: No, no, with him. (He mimes holding the baby like a football.) I'm on this field, and they, they hike me the baby... and I, I know I've gotta do something 'cause the Tampa Bay defence is comin' right at me.
Phoebe: All right, everyone calm down! Everyone calm down! I have something that I would like to say! Who here likes Ross? (Ross is the only one who raises his hand and Phoebe glares at him to put his hand back down.) Of course you don't like him! He-he didn't give you any money, he raised his own hand when I asked, "Who hear likes Ross," and he's wearing two nametags! (He takes one off.) I-I'll be honest with you guys, when I first met Ross I didn't like him at all! But then once I got to know him I saw that he's really sweet and caring and very generous. I mean, all I'm saying is don't judge Ross before you get to know him all right? I mean, I like all you guys now, but when I first meet you y'know Kurt, I thought, y'know abrasive drunk, umm Lola, mind numbingly stupid! And okay, you guys (She turns to an elderly gentleman and a 20 something woman, who're a couple.) (To the girl) Gold-digger, (To the old guy) cradle robbing perv! So, I think you all know what I mean.
[Scene: Rachel is at Monica's, talking about Chandler & him watching "Shark Porn".]
(The camera cuts to Wayne whos busy making out with Sarah and rubbing C.H.E.E.S.E.s controller on her back causing C.H.E.E.S.E. to go crazy. Joey starts throwing books at C.H.E.E.S.E. to get him to stop.)
Joey: Name? (Ross looks at him.) I know Ross but whats it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher.
Chandler: Interesting, cause in my dreams, I'm allways surprisingly inadequate. (Monica pats him on his lap)
[She turns him facing the toilet and sneaks out of the stall and gathers up his clothes.]
Phoebe: No, Mike, I don't want to kill him! I thought we were just gonna capture him and, and you know, set him free in the country side where he can maybe meet a friendly possom and a wisecracking owl.
Ross: Come on you guys, it's no big deal! (He turns around and shows him his thing.)
Monica: Well, maybe you should send him something. So that when he gets to Las Vegas he'll know that you're sorry.
Ross: Oh, guys, you should've seen him. 'Read 'em and weep.'
Joey: (gets very angry) Damnit Carl! (Carl goes to say something more, and Joey silences him with a grunt.)
(She looks at Ross, a bit ashamed. Chandler mimes "big breasts" to Ross and lip syncs "Wow". Ross looks at him, astonished and then Monica looks at Chandler again. A little too late he changes the "big breasts" mime into "rocking a baby". When he realizes Monica might have seen it he also strokes his imaginary baby's head.)
Ross: Im gonna go get him! Okay, I am going back in! (Squeals like a madman.)
Rachel: I just dont want him to meet anybody until I am over my crushAnd I will get over it. Its-its not like I love him, its just physical! ButI mean I get crushes like this all the time! I mean hell, I had a crush on you when I first met ya!
Ross: ... And you called him Alby!? (laughs) I mean that's like... like calling Albert Einstein... er... Alby...
Charlton Heston: (tosses him a towel, motions for him to get out of the shower and sits down on the couch) Every actor at one time or anotheropp! (Joey tries to sit down next to him and Heston makes him sit somewhere else.) Every actor thinks he stinks, even Lawrence Oliver at sometimes thought he stank, Bob Redford wont even watch himself.
Phoebe: (pointing at Mike and shouting) I sleep with him!
[Sequence 1: Monica throws the ball over Chandlers head to Joey who catches it for a touchdown, and starts to dance in celebration. Chandler then tackles him, and he starts to dance in celebration.]
Monica: (pulling Chandler away from the Maitre d') You need to give him money.
Monica: Oh, and the people are so nice. There's this one guy, Geoffrey, he's the Maitre D., Chandler, you will love him. He is without a doubt, the funniest guy I have ever met. (Chandler, who was almost asleep again, sits up straight in bed in an instant and can't believe what he just heard.)
Peter: Were not throwing it away! I built that canoe! (starts to leave as Tony chases after him)
Ross: Nah ah! Nah ah! (stops him form doing so) No no no! No ad-libbing and dude, you can't touch the paintings.
Joey: I know. It was so cool when I was up there before. Me and Jim Belushi would just be crackin up about something Then I get fired off of Days Of Our Lives and he takes me down. Now hes just laughing at me. Look at him, that smug Belushi bastard, Ill
(He moves Rosss coat to get the tissues and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.)
Monica: (sitting down) Gary's gonna ask you to move in with him!!
Ross: And if you wait right here, Ill go get Ross. (Phoebe grabs his arm and prevents him from escaping.)
Joey: (sitting at his table) Oh, I know it... It is amazing these little things open doors... huh! (mimes opening a door with his own keys, Phoebe looks at him in a "yeah, yeah, yeah" way.)
Chandler: Hey! (Grunts as Ben hits him at full speed.)
Rachel: All right, look, heres the bottom line Ross, this is fixable, if we act fast, okay. So, Ill invite him to brunch tomorrow and you can make nice.
Phoebe: Thats easy! You just have to think of him as a-as a jar of pickles that wont open.
Monica: Well, Im gonna fill in for him as food critic for the Chelsea Reporter.