words in movies
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. You wanna bite? (Holds his piece out for him.)
Rachel: Good. Although yknow, he-hes a private guy. Yknow, I wish I could get him to open up a little bit, share some feelings.
Phoebe: Thats easy! You just have to think of him as a-as a jar of pickles that wont open.
Rachel: So what are you saying; I should run him under hot water and bang his head against a table?
(Phoebe turns to Rachel and mimes remove a lid of a jar. Ross enters and Paul motions for Rachel to leave with him now.)
Ross: Wait a minute, is it because Joey and I didnt invite him to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago?
Chandler: Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store weve been too and I cant find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is watching him.) Its a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.)
Ross: Okay. Well, apparently Chandlers angry at us for not getting him a ticket to that Knicks game a couple of weeks ago.
Joey: Oh, were supposed to just get him a ticket?! That guy is always mooching off of us!
Ross: Yeah! Anyway, I-I still think we should try to patch things up, yknow? Like uh, maybe we could get him to get tickets to another Knicks game and invite him.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-ho-ho, I got this one. Here you go. (Hands Gunther Chandlers card.) Yknow I gotta tell ya, sometimes I justI dont get Chandler. Yknow, me and him do stuff all the time without you and you dont get all upset.
Rachel: Like a little girl. I know. I know. I know. This is all my fault; I wanted him to open up. But God, I didnt know that I was gonna unleash this-this weepy, clingy, moist monster!
Rachel: Oh thats right. Youre the talker. (They both reflect on that briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues.
Phoebe: Oh my God!! (She runs after him, but sets of the security system, which locks the stores door and brings down a set of bars behind her, caging her in.) No! What?! Help me! Let me out! Now! (Points the musket at them.)
Chandler: Okay! (Pushes him away.)
Paul: Joey! (Goes over and hugs Joey and picks him off of his feet.)
Joey: Yes, its in my In in my pocket. (Paul hasnt dropped him yet.) (Chandler starts to reach for his front pocket.) My back pocket! My back pocket!
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Chandler is entering with his credit card and Phoebe is holding out another ring for him.]
Ross: I cant believe it. (Pause) Can I tell you something? Im a little mad at him now.
Ross: Yknow what? He didnt want to talk to us about being angry, well maybe we dont talk to him at all!
Joey: Ooooh! Freeze him out.
Ross: Eh? Well show him!
Phoebe: Okay. There may be a way that we can get the other ring back. Cause I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we can get him to trade rings or something.
Chandler: Yeah! Okay, go, go, go get him.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. (Walks over to him.) Excuse me sir? Could you come with me please? You have a phone call.
(She brings him over to Chandler.)
Chandler: (to him) Hi! Hi. Okay, there was a slight mix-up at the jewelry store, the ring youre about to propose with was supposed to be held for me. So, Im gonna need to have that back. (The guy isnt sure.) But, in exchange Im willing to trade you this beautiful, more expensive ring. (Looking at the ring.) Ew.
Chandler: Great! Okay, here. (Holds the ring up for him.)
Chandler: Guys? (They ignore him.) Ive got something important to tell ya. (Still nothing so he walks over and stands in front of the TV.) Guys? (They lean over to try and watch the TV, Chandler mimics them.) Guys?! (Pause) Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Chandler: (goes to hug him and stops short) HeyyyyWhat?
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh Chandler!! (Hugs him.) You guys are gonna be so happy!
Ross: Chandlers gonna ask Monica to marry him!
Phoebe: How can you let him talk to your crotch like that?
Ross: Uh, I actually havent even met him.
Chandler: Oh, well then, if anybody should have a party it should be him.
Dina: I-I cant go in there. I cant tell him!
Rachel: (To Dina) Now! Give him the sandwich! Give him the sandwich! (She quickly sets the sandwich in front of him.)
Chandler: Yeah, oh, but I just keep picturing you rolling around with him with your cowboy boots in the air...
Joey: All right, here you go buddy. (He tosses him one.) Go nuts. (Exits.)
Ross: Because, I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah, and, and you're-youre wrecking it.
Monica: Yes! Now, theyre a little more than I normally spend on boots or rent (Shows him the receipt.)
[Scene: The slot machines, we see some guy not having any luck. Both Phoebe and the Lurker are lurking him and each stick their heads around the corner at different times This is all set to that Pink Panther song. Finally the guy gives up and walks past the lurker's position, thus giving her the advantage. She scurries in and quickly drops a coin in the slot before Phoebe gets there. Phoebe arrives slightly later and pulls the arm just after the lurker deposits the coin and wins.]
Monica: (going over to him) Im so sorry. Please, stop freaking out.
Joey: Hey, Im with you. He even asked me if I thought youd go out with him.
Phoebe: Monica, I'm sorry I didn't come by last night. I was out with Gary; he let me ride around with him in his cop car. We saw and prevented crimes.
Mona: Ohh! (Hugs him.) And I love spending time with you. (Ross isnt happy.)
Monica: Oh my God, me too! Oh! Oh, we'd be like friends-in-law! Y'know what the best part is? The best part is that you already know everything about him! I mean, it's like starting on the fifteenth date!
Joey: Wow! (Tearing up) Well, uh Hey! Im really happy for you guys! Congratulations! (Kisses Monica on the cheek) See you later. (Starts for the door on the verge of tears as Monica stops him.)
Joey: Fine! (Pause) Now, whered we land on those pancakes? (She chases him out the door as his date emerges from the bathroom.)
Joey: I would like to meet him. He sounds like a stand up guy.
Joey: Oh yeah, it must be tough to keep your hands of him, huh?
Rachel: (noticing him) Hi! (Puts the pictures away.)
Chandler: Have you talked to him lately?
Joey: Oh. (She kisses him.) Yeah. (She goes into her room.) Me to. (He then starts to freak out.)
Rachel: Oh, no problem. Im so glad I could help. Happy for you. (She playfully punches him.)
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
Rachel: Okay. (Pushes play.) Okay, thats him! Thats him! Thats Cujo! Thats Cujo!
Monica: All right fine. Fine, Ill do it. Ive just got to get this off the screen. Carol and Susan are still upset that you taught him pull my finger.
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
Phoebe: Well, then tell him to stop staring!
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
Monica: I guess that makes sense. So, you think youre going to talk to him?
Dr. Stryker Remoray: Good morning. (He walks over to the bed, leans down, and whispers to him.) Drake, its your brother Stryker. Can you hear me?
Chandler: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called "Invisible things for Kathy." (Motions to an imaginary pile of presents next to him.) Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?
Rachel: Its not kicking right now. Although we would love to see you do (Mimics him) that again.
Monica: I'll get it. (On phone.) Hello. (Listens.) Hi Emily! (Listens.) Yeah, uh you-you tracked him down. Hold on one second. (She hands the phone to Ross.)
Mona: So, whatd you tell him?
(Sick Bastard sits down in a chair that enables him to look around the screen and stare at Rachel.)
Phoebe: Hes miserable! What happened to him?
Phoebe: Okay, Im going to take him back to Wendys.
Janice: Oh! Sid is still in his room. I don't allow porn at home so this is like a vacation for him. So did you do it? Did you make your deposit?
Ross: Then talk to him! He might be fine with it.
Ross: Then talk to him! He might be fine with it.
Chandler: Come on, dont be crazy. (To Rachel) You dont think theres someone out there better suited for Monica than me, do ya? (Rachel looks at him.)
Ross: Okay. Okay, Ill talk to him.
Monica: He says he wants to leave the country. (Pause) He thinks you hate him.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I had the best time with Tim last night. He is so sweet! Oh, I cant wait to get sous-neath him.
Ross: Hate him? I No, I dont hate him. (Pause) Its just its Rachel, yknow?
Monica: No! All hes thinking about is how youre taking this! I mean, listen its totally freaking him out. Hes talking about moving to Vermont.
Russell: Yes, this Russell, Rosss divorce lawyer, just tell him that since I havent heard from him, I assume hes decided to give the marriage a try.
Rachel: (draws back) Really. Mindy, if it'll make you feel any better, when I was engaged to him he went through a whole weird thing too.
Phoebe: Okay but thats why you have to buy it, so it can fulfil its Christmas destiny, otherwise there gonna throw it into the chipper. Tell him, Joey
Rachel: Can I? (Hug him.)
Rachel: Oh its umm, its tofu cake. Do you want some? (He makes a disgusted noise and heads for his room, Chandler follows him in.)
Chandler: I dont see him. (To Monica) Do you see him?
Rachel: All right. Well listen, if you see Joey will you just tell him uh tell him I miss him. (Exits and Joey enters.)
Chandler: (interrupting him) We didnt play it!!
Rachel: Thats what I told him!
Ross: And-and I, and I saw that Joey was about to go in, so I ran in ahead of him to-to surprise him and, and then I pretended I didnt know he was in there. (They all kinda look at him.)
Joey: Oh, Urse... (He tries to take her in his arms, but she fends him off.)
Chandler: What problem did you tell him you had?
Ross: (chases her) Oh yeah, yeah? Well uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines! (Realizes a table of women overheard him.) (To that table.) Sup?
Rachel: Yeah. (Motions for him to continue.)
Monica: Oh Im working on my toast for the party, or as I like to call it. Sob fest 2002. Hey check this out. (Hands him a picture.)
Airline Employee: (grabbing the ticket from him) Sir, this is not a first class ticket. Im sorry.
Phoebe: Well, his name is Parker and I met him at the drycleaners.
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
Rachel: Yeah, yeah I like him a lot.
Phoebe: Because Im going to kill him
MNCA: Oh no no, this is not for him, this is for me. That way he's still sober but I find his stories about shoelaces much more amusing.
ROSS: Ok, ok, you know what? I think you're very funny. Kudos on that hat joke. But, come on guy just, just give him back the hat.
Mona: No, its still wet. Yknow what? Let me get it out before it sets. Ooh, I have something you can wear. Here. (Hands him Rosss shirt.)
Phoebe: So long! Dont let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on your way out! (He exits and she slams the door behind him.)
Rachel: Okay, dont listen to him. Please?
Monica: Umm, so how long have you been working with your dad? (He looks at her) Come on, one of us had to mention him.
Rachel: Oh! (They enter. Rachel sees his father, lying on a bed, with tubes, drip and everything) Oh! Oh my God! Ohhh, ohhh, wow, that ear and nose hair trimmer I got him was just money down the drain, huh?
Phoebe: (interrupting him) I was just being polite!
Phoebe: I just talked him into it, dont tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired people.
(Chandler tries to jump over the couch but everyone stops him.)
Monica: (on phone) Uh, Michelle. Yeah, that was me, I-I dialed your number by mistake. (listens) Oh, you're so sweet. Yeah, we were a great couple. I know I really miss him. Well, you know how it is, it's that....
Joey: I cant look at you right now! (Exits and slams the door behind him.)
Joey: Well, I said that I (The gang jumps up and interrupts him.)
Monica: (stopping him) No! Joey, we swore wed never tell!
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Rachel: This is Chandler. (Points at him.)
Mona: (interrupting him) Listen Ross, you dont have to apologize. I understand why you were there.
(Phoebe looks at him, and then giggles and looks away.)
Rachel: (she hurries after him) Wait, we still have time to talk and theyre-they're not even in the car yet! (She takes a quick look down the street.) Oh look, there they go, okay. (She hurries in, too)
Rachel: Thank you. (Hugs him.)
(Joey steps in a picks up the paper, the gang all look at him.)
(At this point, Chandler walks into the living room from his bedroom. Ross and Joey both have their backs to him, so they don't notice. Chandler sees the situation and remains quiet, watching.)
Monica: Okay, I-Im sorry. You and Joey, your both focusing on this uncomfortable thing, what you need to do is to change the subject. Next time you see him try to get him talking about something else.
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Janice: Oh, we go way back. Before Monica made an honest man out of him, Chandler used to be my little love muffin! (does her irritating laugh). So? Are you guys thinking of getting this house too? Ooh! Are we gonna have a bidding war? I'd better warn you, I'm a toughie (playfully punches Chandler, who tries to get away from her)
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh, wait Ross! Im sorry, one more thing!
Chandler: Whats wrong with sun-dried tomatoes? (Everyone stares at him.) On a barbecue chicken pizza? (Still theres staring.) No?
Joey: You cooked him?
<Joey turns away and Chandler reassuringly pats him on the back>
Rachel: Well, we were paying for our stuff and this saleswoman just started flirting with him.
[Scene: The Cooking Class, Joey is trying to cook as the teacher walks over to him.]
Don: And youre still married to him? (They both laugh, and Chandler tries to but fails.)