words in movies
Woman: I would love your autograph. (hands him a notepad)
Charlie: Oh my God! Did you talk to him?
Chandler: Be-cause, we were talking about ways that he could beat Mike and I told him that Phoebe wanted to get married.
Chandler: (slaps him on the shoulder) Nice! (goes to Monica)
Monica: See what happens when you give people advice? I hope you told him not to?
Monica: What are you serious? You wanna marry him? Wha... What about Mike?
Phoebe: Oh, ok, you want me to marry Mike? Alright, well, let's just gag him and handcuff him and force him down the aisle. I can just see it: "Mike, do you take Phoebe..." (gestures with her hand as if someone is covering her mouth and tries to shout "No! No!") You know, it's every girl's dream!
Joey: Oh what, did someone outbid you for the teapot? (Chandler looks annoyed at him and Joey leans in to him) Oh! Secret teapot?
Chandler: Nude... (Ross looks at him)... pictures of Anna Kournikova. I'm so sorry.
Chandler: Well, I tried Billy Jean King, but... (Ross glares at him) you know, you and Monica have the same "I'm gonna kill you" look...? I can usually make it go away by kissing her... (Ross continues to glare at him and Chandler leans in as if he's going to kiss Ross)
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
Monica: No, I called him. It's not gonna happen.
Chandler: I think we have some time. Have you ever heard him talk? (doing David) "Uh, Phoebe, uh, I would be honoured, uh..." Spit it out, David!
Phoebe: (smiles at him happily for a few seconds before answering) No!
Monica: I know (she snuggles to him)
Chandler: (to a paleontologist sitting next to him) Not to mention the cold sores.
Chandler: (to the one sitting next to him) Really?
(Everybody stands up and applauds. Ross looks flattered and surprised. His friends and other members of the audience go to congratulate him)
(Rachel, Joey and Chandler pat him on his shoulders and walk off, together with Monica)
Ross: Hey! (she turns to him) Well...? (in expectation)
(Chandler turns to Mike and gives him a "See what I mean?" look)
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Did you know this about him?
Chandler: Honey, try to focus the trash talk on him!
Rachel: Oh yes, of course, I remember him!
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Do you really find this attractive on him?
Phoebe: (pointing at Mike and shouting) I sleep with him!
Mike: And that's how it's done! (Phoebe kisses him)
Ross: I knew that was him!
Charlie: Yeah, can you guys just throw him in the pool later?
Monica: No, I have just to have two more points to beat him!
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Phoebe Sr: No, no, thats just Chuck Magioni, I-I sold him a house last year! And Im very sorry, but I dont know where your Father is, and thats the truth.
Joey: Im sorry man, I didntIm-Im sorry. Im sorry. (Goes over and comforts him.)
Frank: (To Phoebe) What's with him?
Phoebe: Oh, just ask him!
Phoebe: Tell him it's for you.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) So did you ask him?
Rachel: When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, then me.
Janice: Here, Ross, take our picture. (Hands him a camera and he starts snapping) Smile! You're on Janice Camera!
Rachel: Monica, this is Dan (points to him), one of the guys that we're gonna be going out with on Saturday. (Mouths "He's yours." to her.) Uh Dan, Monica.
(Ross turns and wants to attack Rachel, but Joey stops him.)
Waitress: Hey Monica, theres a customer who wants to complement the chef, should I let him in?
PHOEBE: Today we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals. [singing] Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo, Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo. Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up, And that's how we get hamburgers. Nooowww, chickens!
Joey: (glares at him for a moment, then admits grudgingly) Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter.
Mark: Ahh! Fair, schmair! Y'know? Look, if you want to get back at Ross, I am here for you. Really? No-no, I say-I say, I say we get back at him right on this couch. Right here!
Phoebe: My massage client, Arthur? His daughter called and said that some guy that worked for me gave him a really weird massage this afternoon.
Monica: So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises.
CHANDLER: I don't know, Richard's really nice and everything, uh, it's just that we don't know him really well, ya know, and plus he's, ya know, old [Monica gives him a glare] -er than some people, but, uh, younger than some buildings.
Rachel: Oh yeah! (Turns to face him.)
Chandler: Yes. Yes. (Lets him up.)
(They both grab him and stop him.)
Chandler: No, Im afraid I wont be able to make love as well as him.
Policeman: And in the meantime you better let him drive. Does he have a license?
CHANDLER: So, whaddya say boys, should I call him? [squeezes the ear of one of the slippers and it barks] Well, ya know what they say. Ask your slippers a question... you're going crazy.
Joey: Why dont you tell me something I dont know! (He storms out, and once Treeger closes the door behind him, Joey makes an Oops! have.)
Phoebe: That might work! (She gives him the coat.)
(Monica and Chandler turn and stare at him.)
Monica: What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him!
Rachel: I haven't seen him in so long!
Monica: Oh my God! Fog him! Fog him!
Joey: No, look. (Shows him the magazine.)
PHOEBE: No because I chickened out the last time when I tried to meet him. So I mean coincidences? I don't think so.
[Scene: Ross' apartment. Ross is grading papers. Charlie approaches him.]
Chloe: Oh, okay. (to the bartender) Hey, two beers. (sits down next to him)
Monica: What one? You wanted him to invite you to the party and he did it!
Chandler: (glares at him) I hope he did!
Rachel: (entering) Oh-ho, my God! That was so awesome! You totally got him back for calling you fat! He was just drooling all over you. That must've felt so great!
Monica: Chandler! (Motions for him to come outside.)
Joey: Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!
Monica: Okay, so how do I make him think I wanna have sex with him?
Rachel: Then, you will definitely get him back!
Rachel: Oh! Get over it soldier, we've gotta do this! (She pulls him towards her and throws him onto the barcalounger) Ok. Aha! You like that huh?
Ross: (entering from the bedroom) Hey, what's goin' on? (Pats Chandler on the shoulder which causes him to jump.)
Monica: Chandler! (Follows him out.)
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
(Rachel turns and stares at him.)
Monica: Hey! (she sits down next to him) Its me. Mon-i-ca! Can I just tell you how proud I am of you.
Rachel: No, happy for you! (Hits him harder.)
(They both start laughing at him.)
The A.D: Yeah, we loves em. Ive never seen him with(He gets a whiff of Joey and starts smelling around.)
Phoebe: Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. (Writes him a note and the gang reads it.)
Joey: That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! (Phoebe pinches him.) Which is great! I love to ride that rail!
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Chandler is sitting on one of the chairs and the duck is running around him and quacking.]
(Ross just stares at him until he figures it out.)
Phoebe: Oh, I'm going to give him something else besides joy, just (She scowls at him.)
Chandler: Scared me out of ever wanting to live with him.
Cookie: So what. I say, punch him.
Krista: You are so bad! (Hits him softly.)
Krista: You are! (Hits him softly.)
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Rachel: Really?! The Plaza?!! Oh daddy!! (Hugs him and Phoebe glares at her.) Right. Daddy, I need to talk to you. Please, sit down.
(Another man walks up with a drink in his hand, Phoebe stops him too.)
Robin: (starting to cry) Ooh, (to Rachel) Can I have a napkin, please? Could you please hand me a napkin? (Rachel tries to grab one, but is to slow for his tastes.) Would you--Give me this thing (grabs the napkin holder from her.) all right!! Enough! (to Billy) And you are no longer my friend! We are finished! (gets up to leave) Nada!! No more! You are a bastard for doing this!! (Billy follows him) Get away from me!!
Joey: Oh well, hey, Joeys loveable too! But the thing about Joey is, if you need him, hell be there.
Chandler: (he glares at him for a while) Yes.
Ross: Oh my God! (Looking around, which doesn't take him long.)
Monica: We have a ladle. (Gives him one.)
Joey: Monica and Rachel made out. (Giggles like a schoolboy and Monica glares at him.)
Joey: Hey, want a beer? (Hands him a beer and sits down in one of the chairs.) (Jumping up.) WHOA!!!!
Monica: Ooh, and I can do this. (She kisses him on the cheek.)
Monica: (puling him up) Hey. Whaddya doing?
Monica: You're going to talk to him! Y'know what? We made a deal, I make your decisions and I say you're going to talk to him.
Rachel: I have the best job in the entire world! The most adorable guy came over today, and I got to dress him up all day!
(Joey starts playing with a toy alligator and has it attack him.)
Chandler: I believe the foundation of our friendship was unfortunate hair. (Ross just stares at him) All right, look, if we're really gonna do this... it's not like you never broke one of the pacts.
(He tries to fire a burnt tennis ball into the bowl Chandler is standing by, but Ross grabs the ball away from him.)
Carol: Okay, Ill pay you tomorrow. (pushes him out the door)
JOEY: Aw, man I'm sorry (starts rubbing Chandler's shoulder). This must be very tough for ya, huh (and starts comfroting him looking for a kiss).
Chandler: This is ridiculous, hes not gonna hold his breath (Ross cuts him off by taking a deep breath and holding it.)
Rachel: (glaring at him) Joey
(Phoebe takes one step after him and stops.)
Monica: Oh, did you catch him?!
Tommy: (noticing the chick) Ooh, hey! Hey, there little fella. (picks up the chick) Mr. Fuzzy-Man, how are you doing? (starts to pet him) Aww. (The chick poops on his hand.) Eww! Oh! Eww! Gross! Idiot!! Stupid little, fuzzy, yellow creature!! Oh look at me, Im so cute, Im a little chick whos disgusting! God, youre so stupid, how are you not yet extinct!! (the duck wattles behind him and quacks) (to the duck) Quack-quack, quack-quack!! What are you quacking about?! Dumb Donald Doo-Doo!!
Joey: What did you say to him?
Rachel: Ooh, Pheebs, what are you gonna say? Are you gonna tell him who you are?
The Casting Director: (stopping him) I'm sorry. Could you, could you try it without the purse?
(Ross looks at her, then leaves slamming the door behind him.)
Phoebe: Yeah. See? (Quickly shows him.)
Ross: I dont know! Just-just talk to him-entertain him and keep him alive.
Joey: He knew we were trying to get rid of him. He knew! (Pause.) You think we could get a bathtub in our kitchen?
(Joey laughs, Ross glares at him, and Joey stops.)
Krista: You are! (Hits him harder this time.)
Monica: (elbows him) Fifteen minutes.
Monica: Just go get some! (Kisses him.) Go! (She runs to hide in the bathroom.)
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
[Cheryl walks away and Ross walks inside. Everyone stares at him in disbelief.]
EDDIE: I got a little surprise, look. There's a new fishie. I named him uh, Chandler, you know, after, after you.
Phoebe: I wouldn't bring that up, it would probably just bum him out.
Monica: Yeah, I saw him waiting for an elevator.