words in movies
Chandler: Yeah, just some 9-year-old Filipino kids who worked their fingers bloody for 12 cents an hour. (Phoebe stares at him wide-eyed. Chandler sees her reaction.) That didn't happen, I made that up!
Phoebe: Oh my God! You got off easy! When my friend Silvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green.
Monica: Oh my God! Fog him! Fog him!
Phoebe: That might work! (She gives him the coat.)
Joey: That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! (Phoebe pinches him.) Which is great! I love to ride that rail!
Joey: Now he's movin'? Man, what is Emily doing to him? (Phoebe pinches him again.) Ow!! He's not even here!!!
Monica: And he came at us with an axe, so Rachel had to use a bug bomb on him!
Joey: It's not right what Emily wants you to do! She is totally-(The gang enters behind Joey and Phoebe pinches him again.)-Owww!! Stop pinching me! Look, now you guys said I only had to keep my mouth shut as long as Ross was happy, right? Well he just told me that he's not entirely happy.
(Monica and Chandler turn and stare at him.)
[Scene: Their building's lobby, Danny is checking his mailbox as Rachel enters carrying shopping bags and goes to her mailbox. Danny has shaved his beard and cut his hair, Rachel doesn't recognize him.]
(Rachel decides not to give up that easily and follows him to his apartment and bangs on the door, which he opens.)
Rachel: I haven't seen him in so long!
Monica: I'll get it. (On phone.) Hello. (Listens.) Hi Emily! (Listens.) Yeah, uh you-you tracked him down. Hold on one second. (She hands the phone to Ross.)
Joey: You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. (He stands up and turns his back to them so that he is facing the window.) Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. (The camera cuts to Ross outside hanging up the phone.) Smile! (Ross turns around and sees Joey alternately smiling and frowning and just stares at him for a second and heads back inside.)
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
Chandler: (stopping him) Hey, whoa-whoa! What's she like?
Pete: Dont worry, Hoshi taught me how to use an opponents strength and weight against him.
Monica: (joining him) Wow! She is pretty, huh?
(Ross 'prompts' Chandler by hitting him on the arm.)
Phoebe: Oh I just miss him so much!
Joey: You kissed him?!
Chandler: Well you coulda tried, not kissing him.
Chandler: Hey listen, come on, Joey is having a problem! A little girl is beating him up.
The Housekeeper: More turkey Mr. Chandler? (And he makes eyes at him.)
Ross: (to the woman checking her mail next to him) Hey!
(We hear the guys start to attack him, but the guy manages to calm them down and gets them to agree to what he did. Monica throws up her hands in disgust.)
Ross: Catch any big fish? (Phoebe, Ross, and Monica all go over to him.)
Chandler: (gasps) All right look, y'know, this maybe tough but come on, this is Ross! I survived college with him!
Dina: Im going to keep dating him Mother, and theres nothing you can do about it!
Monica: Thank God! I can't watch him anymore!
Rachel: Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him... 'Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!' Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder...
(Ross leaves, and after the door closes, Joey gives him the loser sign.)
Rachel: Oh, you go out with him. (goes over and hugs her)
Joey: I look more like him than you do! (He winks at Carol.)
Joey: Do you know how hard this is gonna be on him when he doesnt get it?
(He starts to put his pants on, but Rachel manages to drag him to the chair. When they get to the chair, Chandler drops his pants and knocks the chair away. Rachel then backs him up and locks him to the top drawer of a filing cabinet.)
Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.
Monica: You sat back and let him have her, you didnt fight at all. Am I right? Do you want the same thing to happen with Emily?
Ross: Come on! The time we were all waiting in line for Dances With Wolves and that one guy cut in line in front of us and I just lost it?! Screamed at him! Turned all red! Red Ross!!
Chandler: I'm sorry, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother. (She just stares at him.) I've done it again.
Rachel: Oh, this is great! I am gonna call him right now! (Jumps up.) Oh, thank you!
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)
Joey: Oh Rachel look, don't say that, I think you just need a hug from Joey. Come on. Come on. (She hugs him and Joey looks out the window.) She's back! Hot girl's back!
Chloe: I want you to met some friends of mine. (Introduces him to Chandler and Joey) This guy is my hero, he comes in with some stuff he wants it blown up 400%, we said we dont do that, and he says you gotta. And y'know what, we did it. And now anytime anybody wants 400, we just say lets Ross it!
Joey: Soon, soon, I'm gonna be on soon. There I am! (Points to the screen, of course it isn't him.)
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe is giving him and pushes her away.)
Joey: No, it's just ah, I care so damn much about little Ben that uh, it was more important to see him succeed.
Monica: You are so cute. (She goes over and kisses him passionately.)
Joey: How's that different? (She looks at him until he gets it.) Oh! Yeah!
Monica: No, of course not. It's not even an issue. Cause I told him I was 22.
Ross: One Mississipi, two Mississipi, Three Mis...(the sprayer starts again, spraying him in the face and torso again) WAIT! WAIT! I'm not-I've not finished counting!! (he leaves the booth) (the assistant enters the room)
Ross: (to Gary) He told you everything! I mean you totally cracked him!
Gary: This witness won't return my calls so we're gonna see if we can surprise him coming home.
(Gary just glares at him.)
(Chandler mumbles something, and Ross tells him to "Come on.")
Monica: Y'know what, this is obviously some kind of twisted joke she's trying to play on him.
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.
Rachel: Yeah well unless we tell him.
(Joey laughs then realizes the trick didn't work when Chandler hands him his card back.)
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Phoebe: Because you are so afraid of commitment! You talk to him, make him scared like you! Make him a man!
GRANDMOTHER: Anyway, that's all I know. That, and this. [pulls apart a frame and pulls a picture out] This is the real him.
Joey: Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push! Push 'em out, push 'em out, harder, harder. Push 'em out, push 'em out, way out! Let's get that ball and really move, hey, hey, ho, ho. Let's (notices the nurse looking at him strangely) I was justyeah, right. Push! Push!
[Scene: Rosss birthday, Joey is now trying to get his car out while Ross is directing him.]
Chandler: Im sorry. (Pause) If you ask me, I'd move in with him.
(Joey is leaving and notices Monica, as Monica notices him)
Monica: (jumping in front of him) No-no! Don't do it! Don't!
Felicity: Mmm. (She pushes him up against the wall and they begin to kiss.)
Phoebe: Umm, not without you, lover. (She slowly walks over to him and is showcasing her bra.) So, this is my bra.
Monica: So you're moving in with him. What happened?
(Phoebe closes the door behind him.)
Monica: Why, do you write him a lot?
Rachel: You should find out what his hobbies are and then use that to bond with him. Yeah! Like if I would strike up a conversation about say umm, sandwiches. Or uh, or my underwear.
Amy: Humpf, remember him? How we used to make out all the time after you went to sleep.
Rachel: Ohh, God! Look at him, hes so cute. I wanna go over there, grab him, and kiss him! How can I kiss him and not letting him know that I like him?
Rachel: (handing it to him) Yes. Here you go Officer uh, Handsome.
(His grandmother asks him something.)
Phoebe: Ohh, give him a kiss for me!
Monica: As a joke, this customer at work who has a crush on me gave me a $20,000 tip. His number is on the check, he just did so Id call him.
Phoebe: Oh, this guy again. (She ignores him.)
(Chandler and Joey look at her, and then look back at him. They dive for Ross's hand to see what he had, and he tries to stop them from looking.)
[Cut to the jetway, the old man who the flight attendant delivered Rachel's message to gets off the plane, his wife still upset with him.]
(Monica stares at him.)
Joey: Man, I wish Ross was coming with us! Y'know? I'm gonna miss him!
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Rachel: (looks at him) That was (pause) surreal. Okay, what do think? Are you interested at all?
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Is that Joey?! (She nods yes) Let me talk to him!
Joey: Uhh Pheebs, I heard that. Can you put him on?
Rachel: Fine. Fine, but Ill have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but Ill go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if thats what you want!
Monica: I know, but you have to open it today! (Hands it too him.)
Joey: Good, me too. (Tosses him the loaf.) Eggs and milk are in the fridge. Thanks.
Phoebe: (sitting down) Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
Joey: Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (the girls look at him, confused) Oh, I'm out.
Rachel: (interrupting him) Okay-okay-okay! So, making things. That sounds like so much fun.
Monica: You can also find him under umm, dog and dead.
Monica: Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I wanna, I want him to be like naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh!
Emily: Well, that me. (They kiss again.) Here, have this. (She gives him the candy bar.) Im only allowed one piece of carryon anyway. (She starts towards the jetway.)
Monica: I can not see him? I mean, you can't tell me what to do!
Chandler: Joey, can I talk to you for a second? (He grabs him and starts to drag Joey into Monica's room.)
Rachel: No! I mean come on! This is a huge deal! (She sits next to him on the couch.) Fine I wantI need more details, who-who initiated the first kiss?
Monica: (handing him a pad of paper and a pen) Lets just do it right now. Okay? It wont be hard. Just say whats in your heart. (She goes back, sits down, and starts feverishly writing.)
Ross: (to Rachel) So, hes just a nice guy. You really think this Mark doesnt want anything in exchange for helping him?
Chandler: Well, of course I do! My good friend Joey over here. (Pats Joeys arm, Joey pats Chandlers shoulder, and Chandler motions for Joey to say the same about him.)
Chandler: Yeah, hes made phone calls, written letters, he even came to New York, but I always said I was too busy to see him. Yknow its all very Cats in the CradleI dont want to get into it. (The show starts.) Here we go.
Monica: Yeah, I couldn't be mad at him for too long.
Phoebe: Really? Not even to, um, change his PAJAMAS?! (Whips back the sheet to reveal him wearing new pajamas.)
MONICA: Your boyfriend has been in there for over an hour. I can't believe it, it's like I'm living with him again. He's here when I go to sleep, he's here when I wake up, he's here when I want to use the shower, ughh. It's like I'm sixteen all over again .
Ross: Ohh, it's Joey! I love Joey! (Hugs him.)
Ross: Rach! Wait! The men's room is that way. (Points in the other direction. Rachel hits him with her purse and heads for the ladies room.)
Blackjack Dealer: Changing one hundred! (Gives him the change.) Good luck sir.
Chandler: Y'know, he won't even talk to me. How am I going to apologize to him if he won't even talk to me?
Joey: Oh dont listen to him, hes just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I dont think hes gonna get it.
Joey's Hand Twin: Please, please take him too. (Motions to Joey.)
Phoebe: No, as soon as something opens up we'll move right in. Unless it doesn't have a pool, I need a pool. (Turns away from him.)