words in movies
Phoebe: Well, I think you're gonna appreciate it the crap out of this one (she gives him a check)
Ross: Ok! (he takes the camera and walks backwards to take a shot) See? Scared of swings, I bet you feel pretty silly (a swinging boy knocks him down) Ow!
Laura: So you're not friends with him?
Ross: SON OF A BITCH! (turns to his right to see three kids staring at him) (To the kids) Oh relax! I didn't say the 'F' word! (They go away)
Ross: No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.
Rachel: (looks at him suspiciously) I know what this is all about... You've always been jealous of my hair.
Phoebe: (Lightly) Oh! It ended okay. One of my friends shot him.
Monica: So that was the baby's room. (They come out and Chandler throws Joey behind the couch and puts his foot on him. Monica looks at Chandler)
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
(Joey leaves and closes the door behind him. Chandler walks towards the living room, but then Joey enters again.)
Laura: Are you friends with him?
Joey: (acting sad) NO! I waited a long time, I can't wait anymore... (and closes the door behind him)
Ross: There you go! Good for you! And you know what, I'm actually getting used to this little guy. I don't really even feel him in here anymore.
(Ross is now preoccupied with the spider, and forgets that Rachel is still using the swing. While trying to get rid of the spider, he stands in front of Rachel, who bumps into him, throwing him on the ground again.)
Chandler: Sur-surprise him? We're not, we're not gonna make anybody mad are we?
Ross: Marcel! Marcel! Marcel, no! Good boy. See, how can nobody want him?
Chandler: You believe that this guy is destined for someone else and youre still gonna date him?
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
Receptionist: (on phone) Hold on. (To Chandler) Fill these out, sit over there. (Tosses him some forms.)
Phoebe: Okay. (Goes over and hugs him.) Its exactly how Id imagined it would be.
Rachel: Oh, him, the little guy? Oh, I love him!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
(Joey starts to eat the rest of the lasagne and everyone turns and stares at him.)
Chandler: Oh come on, by age seven kids have already seen orgies. (They both look at him.) Was it just me?!
[Scene: A blackjack table, Joey is moving in to try and get his hand twin (who's dealing) to join him in his evil plot to rule the world! "Join me, and together we'll rule the universe as father and son!" (Sorry, I had a little Star Wars creep in thereOoh, I have a big spoiler for The Phantom Menace, Yoda lives at the end! Ha-ha, spoiled it! Now you don't have to see it!)]
Monica: (hits him lightly) Oh!
Joey: Wait, wait, wait. You want him, I want her. He likes you.
Paula: Honey.. you should always feel the thing. Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him!
(Chandler runs out the door and closes it behind him. After a short pause the door opens and Chandler comes rushing back through, grabs Monica, kisses her good-bye, and heads back out.)
(She kisses him, he holds her, and kisses her passionately.)
(Ross sadly hangs up the phone, while Phoebe looks at him. Cut to Rachel at the gate. She gives her boarding pass to the gate attendant, and she goes onboard. The gate attendant closes the door and locks it.)
Joey: Oh, I know how we can decide. Phoebe, show him your game!
ROSS: Uh, actually mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.
Ross: (sarcastically) And you didn't marry him because...?
Monica: Oh my God! I love him!
(Chandler strides proudly across the vestibule and Jill stares at him.)
Ross: That, that is funny... (to Joey).... and Rachel keeps touching him.
Chandler: I just wanted to show Monica your book. (Ross just glares at him.)
(Everyone starts to imitate him.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross still has boxes all over the place. Joey is wearing a football helmet, and Chandler is spinning him around in one of the chairs and counting.]
CHANDLER: Right now, right here. Don't ya think we're in kind of a public plaaaa [Susie grabs him under the table] They do have the shrimp.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
Mr. Geller: Beautiful! (Turns to watch with him)
Ross: Rach, I think I'm gonna wait out here, because my throat is feeling a little scratchy, I don't want to infect him.
Chandler: Hes not supposed to ask my girlfriend to marry him! Im supposed to do that!
Monica: It's weird, but you know what I don't wanna throw this away. I mean this is like all I have left of him, gross, drain hair. Ooh! (drops it in Ross's cereal)
[Scene: The Wake, at the Gellers' house. Ross is lying on his back, with Phoebe squatting over him, checking to see if he's injured.]
[Ross gives him an insulted look.]
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Rachel: Y'know what, just give me a second and I'll be out of your hair. I'm just gonna grab a jacket. When I get back, I want every little detail. (There's a knock on the door.) Maybe that's him. (Goes to answer the door.)
Ross: I dropped him off at Carols. (To Phoebe) Anyway, it turns out that Im not going to be able to get those tickets though.
Monica: Alright. Just keep him away from me.
(Ross proceeds to apply copious amounts of the lotion on his legs. He literally starts spraying the back of his legs with the lotion, and as he applies some to his butt he makes a happy face like he enjoyed that sensation. After using about half the bottle he again tries to pull up his pants, but at the first sign of resistance, his hand slips off of the pants and hits him in the forehead.)
Ross: I just Bamboozled Chandler! (Flexes in victory while everyone stares at him.) Which is not uh sexual thing. That was a quick shower.
MRS BUFFAY: Well he left four years ago so we're expecting him back any minute now.
Max: Well, if you see him, tell him to pack his bags. We are going to Minsk.
(She kisses him on the cheek)
Ross: Why would I tell him?
Joey: So are you gonna tell him?
Phoebe: Alright, whadyou do with him?
Mrs. Bing: Alright. (Kisses him)
Ross: Uh, if you guys don't mind, I'd like to take a moment, just me and him.
Joey: (realizes what he said) Street noise drowned any of that out? (Rachel moves madly towards him) No, all right, I see you later, okay... (Turns away embarrassed)
Monica: Oh, maybe he was getting him confused with his childhood therapist.
Rachel: I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steele books, you know? I mean, when I'm with him, I'm totally, totally...
PHOE: Yeah, so I said, "OK, relax please," y'know, I mean, sex can be just about two people right there in the moment, y'know, it's, if he wants to see me again he can call and if not, that's fine too. So after a looooot of talking. . . I convinced him.
(Chandler tries to do the same thing but the pen hits him in the head.)
Monica: Tell him.
Phoebe: Tell him, tell him.
Joey: Okay, all right, whew! What do you say we all clear out of here and let these two lovebirds get back down to business? (Ross turns and glares at him.) Hey-hey-hey, I-I-I'm just talking here, he-he's the one doing your sister.
Monica: Just...please tell him.
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
Monica: Look at you, you won't even look at him.
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Ross: I dont think so! Youre just giving me Ruth so youll get to name it when its a boy, and thats when youll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah thats too bad. I really want to go to his concert Friday night, but its totally sold out. I know! Why dont you meet him and get tickets?! If you get two Ill take you.
Chandler: That's so weird, I had such a blast with him the other night.
Ross: Yknow, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at (A knock on the door interrupts him.)
All: Loved him! Yeah! He's great!
All: ...No, we hate him.
All: Yeah. Hate him.
Phoebe: You cant fire him and dump him the same day, hell kill himself.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Joey: Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)
Joey: Ross and I were helping the girls pack, took a little break, I lost $1,500 to him in Cups!
(Ross goes over to the counter. Chandler follows him.)
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
(She kisses him passionately,then leaves.)
Rachel: (to Joey) Coffee. (Hands it to him.)
Rachel: No. (grabs an eggroll) And then I called him, and he wasnt there.
(Chandler, Monica and Phoebe looks at him)
pain as Monica grabs him underwater)-Diet Coke.
Phoebe: Would you stop that! Do you wanna know the first thing she said when she came back from her lunch with Richard? She didn't feel anything for him. She loves you!
Joey: (walks to catch up to him) Alright, look, I'll start, OK?
Ross: Umm, he said he thought I was funny. So (Rachel stares at him.) Okay, look-look umm, let's just go downstairs, we'll have some fun, and you will forget all about it.
PHOEBE: Maybe that's because you haven't taken the time to get to know him. Let's remedy that, shall we?
Chandler: Oh, he's in the back. The duck pissed him off, said that eggs came first.
Monica: I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but it's true, I love him too.
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.
[Next is a shot of them dragging an enormous plant into the room, then Monica knitting a sweater, then Phoebe singing, then Phoebe shaving him and chatting to Monica]
Chandler: Somebody wanna help me, tryin' to rip out my heart. (they pull her hand off of him) Uh, that's great. (looking around) Anybody seen a nipple?
Rachel: Oh God! Alright, fine. You know what Joey, forget it. When we go back to New York, I will tell him.
Nina: Oh my god! (Rushing over to give him a big hug) Youre amazing!
Chandler: Youre not gonna lose him.
RYAN: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
[Scene: The Hospital, it's a montage of Monica and Phoebe's visit to the hospital with My Guy playing in the background. It starts with Monica reading a newspaper to him.]
Joey: Yeah, but, hey look, dont go through her stuff. She gets really mad.(Chandler gives him a look and walks to the door of his old room.)
Guru Saj: Hmm, let me see. Let me see. Do you think you could get him to eat a bat?
Phoebe: Mike knows I'm coming, and if I don't show up he'll think it's because of him! And I don't want to lose face! That's a very serious thing in my culture.
Phoebe: So, um, are you gonna call him?
Dr. Mitchell: I'll take a look at him.
Rachel: Shhhhh! Phoebe! All right, look. I have a little thing for him.