words in movies
[A guy is sitting at his desk and his boss comes in and drops a huge pile of papers on his desk. The guy looks dejected.]
JOEY: Yeah, but then the guy opens his beer and those girls run at him, so, everything seems to work out OK.
MONICA: I can't believe Joey's having lunch with his stalker. What i-, what is she like.
JOEY: Alright, just one. [she licks his hands rather emphatically] Wow, you're good at that.
JOEY: That's it, just hey. Like at the end of a dance, HEY! [she starts nibbling his hand] Hey. He-hey.
JANITOR: Ahh, the bat. Ambassador of darkness, flitting out of his cave like a winged messenger, sightless spectre of the macabe.
ERICA: You told me I was the only one. [throws a glass of water in his face]
RACHEL: Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me. [throws water in his face]
MONICA: And then he told me he would run away with me, and he didn't. [throws water in his face]
CHANDLER: And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard. [throws water in his face]
ROSS: Uh, I'm sorry, you don't understand, I'm, I'm, I'm a friend of his. We uh, we used to live together.
CHANDLER: OK that's not what he was doing. Alright, he was looking for his bus money.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is setting up for his time with Marcel. Joey is there.]
[She turns him facing the toilet and sneaks out of the stall and gathers up his clothes.]
SUSIE: Oh, somebody's been doing his buns of steel video.
SUSIE: Well um, why don't you call me in 20 years and tell me if you're still upset about this. [she leaves with his clothes]
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
Chandler: (sticking his head back in) What?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
(He opens his present to find Phoebes sock bunny from earlier.)
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
(The drinks arrive, and Chandler downs his espresso in one gulp.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Joey: I know! (Shrugs his shoulders.)
Rachel: Ohhhhhhhh God. (climbs off his back)
(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)
(Joey nods yes, but suddenly realizes what he did and runs out of the apartment and back to his place.)
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking along with the diplomat (Sergei) and his translator (Mischa).]
Dr. Wesley: (with evil dripping off his tongue) Remoray!
Monica: And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents!
Chandler: Hmm, lets see if it comes up this time. (He looks at his cards and shrugs.)
(They all go down the stairs, but Ross turns around, looking like his in a coma. The others also turns around to get him.)
Rachel: Well, someone that has his own tux, or has the ability to rent a tux.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his doorbell is ringing and hes running to answer it while doing up his pants.]
(Joey runs up field and fakes out Ross and scores a touchdown. His team all celebrates the touchdown.)
Monica: Oh God! Hes gonna come by and borrow some candles for his big date!
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]
Chandler: (looks down at his clothes) Am I naked again?!
Joey: (slaps Wayne on his cheek) How do you do there, Wayne? (Backs away.)
Paul: (laughs then checking his watch) 1 minute 50 seconds.
(He looks around and flashes her his badge and she laughs.)
Joey: But Jos got a crush on Laurie. (Ross nods his head) Oh. You mean its like a girl-girl thing? Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining.
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
Chandler: Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, yknow Ive always felt that how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father.
Chandler: (to his children) Look around, you guys. This was your first home. And it was a happy place, filled with love and laughter. But more important, because of rent control, it was a friggin' steal!
(Monica gets behind him and in combination with his sliding the chair forward and her pushing with her leg manages to get up to the table.)
Ross: Joey?! Joey!! (He runs into his bedroom.)
Rachel: Well, yknow he lost his keys so he was looking for them
[Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.]
(Ross slams his head down on the table.)
Monica: How can you tell? You can only see the back of his head!
Ross: Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear.
Chandler: (sticking his head in the door) Okay to come in?
Janine: (She takes his hands) 3, 2, 1. (She kisses him) Happy New Year.
(Rachel yanks on his legs again and he groans in pain.)
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey is trying to get his picture up again.]
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
Phoebe: Oh, if thats what you want you then you really should run his head under hot water and bang his head against a table.
Mrs. Tedlock: Yes. Well, Mr. Kostelick wants you to stop by his office at the end of the day.
[Scene: Another hospital room, Joey has now been admitted and his doctor is about to break the bad news to him, Monica, and Chandler.]
Ross: Sure! Here. (Hands her his keys.)
Joey: Great! (Takes his coffee and leaves.)
Rachel: Oh Mon, listen I have to ask! Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment, now does he do this with a lot of girls?
Chandler: Because, I-I shouldve called! Yknow if I had just called her after our big, stupid fight, she never wouldve gone out with Nick, and they wouldve ended up in bed together. I threw her at his man nipples!
Phoebe: Oh my God! You got off easy! When my friend Silvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green.
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]
(Joey exits as Chandler shakes his head.)
Male Jeweler: Uh yes, I have these two rather beautiful $5 bills. (Holds them up from his pocket.)
Ross: Oh. (Starts to get his money)
Cecilia: That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like (She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)
Paul: Joey! (Goes over and hugs Joey and picks him off of his feet.)
Joey: Oh-whoa-wait, Gunther dont-dont forget your shirt. (He gives Gunther his shirt and Gunther leaves.)
Chandler: Thank God! (Grabs his card.)
Ross: (exiting the bathroom) That-that-thats all right, no honey, you take your time sweetie. Ill be right out here. (She slams the door in his face, to the gang) Shes just fixing her makeup.
Joey: All right, lets get me back up there! (Holds out his picture.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is entering. As he closes the door, Joey pokes his head up from a box enclosure built using the 2 chairs.]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Chandler is showing Ross, Rachel, Joey, and Phoebe his engagement ring again.]
JULIE: Um, oh, I don't know. I mean, it's definitely weird not being with Ross, but I guess I'm doing OK. Actually I've got some of his stuff that he, um....
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Chandler: (with his mouthful) Hi Monica.
Rachel: Im so glad, Im so glad you shared. (Feeling his shoulder.) And Im glad that youre done. What do you say we umm (Nods in the direction of the bedroom.)
JOEY: It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. [Chadler pushes him out the door by the face.]
(Now they kiss passionately... and then Ross enters with Emma. They freeze, pull away and look at Ross who looks like he just can't believe what he's seeing. Joey straightens his shirt, and Rachel says I'm so-oo sorry, and presses her breasts together, just like Joey did before.)
Kristen: Oh okay. But yknow what? Be careful. Because a guy was helping me before had to leave because he hurt his back.
Chandler: Yeah, right here in my pocket. (Pats his pocket. Phoebe smiles, goes over to hug him, and removes the ring from his pocket.) Pheebs?
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey has brought in a bunch of laundry in another attempt to get his picture on the wall, but the dry cleaner isnt working right now. Instead, a beautiful woman is working.]
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, Tag is sitting at his desk as Rachel walks up. She stops and watches him pick up the phone.]
(Rachel blasts an air horn in his ear.)
Rachel: Ohh. (She touches his arm for support and likes what she feels) Ooh!
Joey: Yes, its in my In in my pocket. (Paul hasnt dropped him yet.) (Chandler starts to reach for his front pocket.) My back pocket! My back pocket!
Joey: See look, women, carrying the bag. (He puts it on his shoulder and looks at himself in the mirror and likes what he sees.) But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.
Rachel: Hi Danny! (Notices his box of liquor he's carrying.) Wow! Thirsty huh?
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Phoebe: Yeah. Youre just gonna knock on his door and change his life forever. Youre like Ed McMahon except without the big check, or the raw sexual magnetism.
Joey: Wow thanks! (He goes into his bedroom and closes the door.)
Ross: (to his hands) Way to go guys. Yknow, you-you were really good at the stuff too.
Chandler: (putting his hands up) Take whatever you want, just please dont hurt me.
Ross: Got me. (He shows of his hands.)
Monica: Oh no its not, no its not. Its a first date. Im sure that nothing is gonna (as she is talking we see Ross close his drapes.)
Guy: Gotcha. (he and his helper walk in carrying the racecar bed.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is sitting reading a book and hears the bed in Joey's room creaking, and does a 'Oh no, not again' look on his face.]
Joey: Yeah! Look! (He throws some of his spaghetti on the floor.)
Ross: Tsz... NO! (he goes to sit down, dropping a multicoloured silk streamer off his sleeve).
Phoebe: Yeah, but if I do tell him, then hes gonna hate myself. I mean look at him and his Mom, I cant. (pause) But, you guys can, please you gotta talk him out of it.
Ross: His daughter was hot.
[Cut to the Men's room. Chandler is practicing flashing his badge as Monica enters.]
Chandler: Where is she? Im not scared of you! (Averts his eyes and walks in.)
PHOE: Your boobs are fine. Look, I never should have said anything. Come here. Come here. [hugs Chandler but holds her hands apart behind his back] Oh, can't make.... hands... meet....
[Scene: Lamaze class, Ross is again on the floor, cradled in Susans lap, but now Carol is cradled in his lap, and she has a pretend baby, on her lap. The teacher is showing her class a video, which is about to end.]
Ross: (loosening his tie) Oh, who cares?
Phoebe: (in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.
Phoebe: No Chandler, they can swallow one of those little parts! And also, look at his smooth area, thats just gonna mess them up.
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Chandler: It doesn't matter. I just don't want to be one of those guys that's in his office until twelve o'clock at night worrying about the WENUS.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing living room golf as Rachel enters. Rachel sees this and holds the door open until Chandler is ready to start his swing, when he is, she slams the door shut which causes the club to fly from his hands. He turns around, shocked.]
Joey: Oh wow thats a great idea! And I still have his credit card.