words in movies
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
Joey: (Looking inside the fridge, and we only see his back. Then he closes the door, and we see it's Joey.) Hi sweetie!
Charlie: Ah, well, unless it's the creepy guy with his hand up his kilt, I'm gonna say congratulations!
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Charlie: Me too. (she and Benjamin are hugging for very long and Ross starts pretending to clear his throat, until they stop)
Joey: (yelling back) No you didn't! (turns and goes towards his room)
Chandler: (following him) I'm telling you, I watched the tape. (Reaches Joey's room and Joey slams the door in his face)
Ross: (Rolls his eyes) I guess!
(Joey comes out of his room)
Joey: (very angry) You wanna know wh...? You wanna know why? (goes back into his room)
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
(Ross shakes his head)
Joey: (enters from his bedroom) What?
(Joey leaves for his bedroom, and Rachel grins. She then takes Gladys and enters Monica's apartment.)
Benjamin: (puts his hand on Ross's other cheek) I'm sorry too...
(There are scratching and squeaking noises coming from the living room, and Joey wakes up, terrified. He pulls his blanket higher. The doorknob is turning.)
(She closes his door again, and turns around. Then she starts screaming, terrified. There is Glynnis... And Monica holding her up, laughing.)
Chandler: Well, I didnt do anything. I didnt want to be the guy who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is there eating breakfast. Chandler is cleaning out his wallet.]
Monica: Well, if I had them taken out, then I wouldn't be able to do this. (she pushes Chandler on the couch and brushes her hair and shells against Chandler's chest) You like that, right? (again, she brushes her hair against his chest and hums...)
RACHEL: Yes, yes it is true. And I know this because, because he pretended to be Drake to, to sleep with me. [throws water in his face]
Liam: (puts his arm around her) Well, actually the last time you and I saw each other was that morning.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is reading on the couch while Joey, still suffering from his hernia, is returning with coffee for them both. After a series of grunts and groans he manages to painfully walk back from the counter, sit down, and slide Chandler his coffee.]
Frannie: Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.
Bernice: (over intercom) Dr. Farber, we've got a bit of an emergency here...Jason Costalano is choking on his retainer.
Joey: What?! (Grabs his condoms from his pocket and looks.)
(Joey lets his wrist go limp.)
Monica: Nothing. (She backs away a little bit but is still in his arms and looks up at his eyes.) I dont knUmm. I dont know. Umm
Joey: (entering) Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting but still, I'm drawing her to me like - like a moth to a flame! (Tries to put his feet on the coffee table...they won't reach and looks around.) What the hell's going on over here?!?!? (Points to Chandler) Monica's gonna kill you! Look I need your help, I have to do something to-to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys repel women all the time.
Chandler: Hello? Oh hi, Doctor Connelly. (pause) No, she's not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this? (his smile fades as he hears the answer) Oh. (pause) Well, so what does that mean? (pause) Ok. Ok, thank you. Thanks. (hangs up)
JOEY: [walks out of his room] Hey, this is ridiculous. I'll tell you what. After I get back from my neice's christening, I'll go down to the coffee house with you and we'll all have a nice cup of coffee alright. No problem, Joey's there.
Joey: How about those fries though, huh? (Holds the plate between Sarah’s fingers and his plate, thus blocking her from reaching his)
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
Ross: Do you remember the scene with, um, Jabba the Hut? Well Jabba had as, as his prisoner, um, Princess Leia.
Joey: Know what was great? The way his smile was kinda crooked.
(Joey hugs Rosss neck and has a look of complete contentment on his face which, after a short while, causes David and Matt to start laughing.)
Joey: Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... (Joey looks at the photograph) ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. (Joey looks for his notes. The man next to him is chewing something.) Dude, where's my speech? (the man swallows something and looks at Joey.) That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. (he applauds and Al shows that there's nothing left in his mouth.)
Ross: W-oa � Mommy! (gestures to his not understanding mother)
Monica: Honey I cant even imagine how hard this must be for you. But, I dont want you to lose Joey over it. And right now he just needs to know that youre still his friend.
Jill: My God, you're choking! (she runs over and gives him the Heimlich, the gum flies from his mouth) That better?
(Chandler and Joey enter. Joey is counting his steps.)
Monica: Please tell me it's his mother.
Chandler: Uhh yeah. Yeah, its (Points down the hall) right, right down there. (When he has Bob looking down the hall, he turns around and knocks his nameplate off of his door.) Right there, yeah. Can I ask you why?
Phoebe: Definitely not his mother.
(Phoebe is outside, taking her cell phone out of her bag and making a call. Joey is inside, and his mobile phone starts ringing).
Monica: Its almost 8 oclock, its almost past his bedtime. Where-where is he?
Joey: Well, I had the audition but Gunther said I had to stay here and be in charge so he could go get his hair dyed. So, I went anyway, and then he fired me.
[Cut to Joey and Rachels, Joey enters and heads for his bedroom. He pushes open the door to find the duck.]
Monica: (notices his head) Oh, I'm sorry.
(She goes down the hall. Joshua goes to put the food away when his parents walk in.)
Chandler: Oh, y'know what? The last time Joey went to a meadow, his mother was shot by a hunter.
Joey: Ok, thank you. And I promise you I will not forget this one. (he starts writing on his hand) Mandy.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment, Joey is there, trying to convince Monica to pose as his girlfriend. His plan is to hook Monica up with Angela's boyfriend Bob and then take Angela back for himself.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers, Time lapse. Jack is still on the couch, picking his teeth with his feet on the table. Phoebe and Judy are sitting on the table looking at him. Ross and Chandler are sitting by the window talking. Rachel and Joey are in the kitchen fooling with Rachels trifle. Monica walks into the living room from the kitchen.]
Monica: I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can.
Joey: ...I'm his (mumbles)
Chandler: Where's Joey? His mom's on the phone.
Chandler: So Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And Steves doctors name is Doctor Muppy. So I said, Doctor Monkey? And that is how the whole Doctor Monkey thing came up. (He slams his feet up on the table to emphasize his point.)
(Ross grabs for some food, Monica slaps his hand away.)
Donny: O-kay... Henrietta, you didn't get all the points you needed, so that means Gene, you are going to the winners circle to try for ten thousand dollars! (Gene is clapping his hands looking very happy and so is Joey) And you're gonna be going there with Joey Tribbiani (Both of their smiles fade away instantly)
Joey: Did you tell the guy you wanted to have sex with his wife and then fall right out of your chair?
Rachel: Oh! Well, um.. (Grabs his forehand) You've got plugs!
Monica: Close? She's got her tongue in his ear.
Chandler: Oh. (takes the cassette and puts it on his arm like the stop smoking patch, and it falls off.) Nope, that patch is no good. (Joey and Monica both do their fake laughs.)
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
Chandler: Does he say that before he sticks his thermometer in your touchy?
Rachel: Yeah. Thought I'd give it a shot. I'm still on the first chapter. Now, do you think his 'love stick can be liberated from its denim prison'?
-Cuts to Monica (She's just arrived outside his room she fixes a bent photo hanging on the wall then sprays mint in her mouth and enter)
Chandler: Oh, what can happen? I mean, would you (He gestures and spills some of his coffee.)
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
Ross: What? (the cat jumps on his shoulders) Ow!
Phoebe: Wait a minute. What's his name?
Ross: (Covering his mouth with the glass.) How about all the way.
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
[Scene: Cental Perk, Joey and Ross are persecuting Chandler about his smoking.]
Joey: (wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth) Did I get it?
Ross: Oh! (She kisses him) Ah. (They kiss more, and move down onto the couch. Ross's hand moves under some garbage) Aw! (His hand is covered with something brown and gooey.)
MONICA: I'm at work, ordinary day, you know, chop chop chop, sauti, sauti, sauti. All of a sudden, Leon, the manager, calls me into his office. It turns out they fired the head lunch chef, and guess who got the job.
Phoebe: I mean... (David kisses Phoebe on the cheek, makes his way to the door and turns around again)
Phoebe: Oh, poor little Tooty is scared to death. We should find his owner.
Joey: (grabs the window from the outside and sticks his head in) (whispering) When is she leaving?
Rachel: Thats your whole name, okay of course it is! Okay, well lets-lets just have a look-see here. (Looking at his resume)
[Cut to Chandler sitting down near Joey as his mom walks over. His birth mother, not the mother who recently visited one of those clinics in Sweden.]
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
[Scene: The Wake, at the Gellers' house. Ross is lying on his back, with Phoebe squatting over him, checking to see if he's injured.]
Aurora: (moves Chandler's arm and look at his watch.) Oh my God, I'm late. (She starts to get up.)
[Scene: Guest room. Joey has his head wrapped in bubbled wrap and Chandler is punching him. Ross enters the room.]
(A monkey jumps on to his shoulder.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is relating his recent conversation with Emily to the gang.]
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
Ross: Yeah, it's his, uh, innate Alan-ness that-that-that we adore.
Pete: Im fine! Id fight tonight, if theyd let me. (stands up and starts swinging his arms) See this circle Im marking off here? This is my zone of terror.
Rachel: Rome. Jerk missed his flight.
Ross: Five. (Buries his head in his hands)
Ross: Uh, yknow what? Ill tell you who it hurts! It hurts the kid who has all his clothes stolen in gym class so he has to go to the principals office wearing nothing but a catchers mitt!
[Scene: A Mexican Restaurant, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler and his mom are there.]
(Joey starts to the shower with a grim, determined look on his face.)
Joey: Oh! My head! Oh! (Hes sitting on the chair, lies back, and puts his feet up for Monica to rub.) Oh!
Ross: The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?
(With his index finger he shows her how old she is. Emma also points her finger and babbles...)
Frank: (entering with his fianc�e Alice, who is obviously much, much older than he is) Hey! Hey! This is ah, my fianc�e, Mrs. Knight. (he points out Phoebe to her)
[Scene: Rachels Office, Joey is knocking on the door holding a hand over a spot on his shirt.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's Chandler is talking with his mom.]
[Scene: The Coma Guy's Room, Monica bursts in, closely followed by Phoebe. There is no sign of Coma Guy. His bed is empty.]
Ross: Actually this looks like pretty good! Yeah!(he turns and watches his back and there’s a sign on the back of the jacket, “boys will be boys”) Boys will be boys?
Ross: Ah, the forbidden love of a man and his door.
Phoebe: Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until. (A flashback starts Paolo, lying on massage table, moving his hands up Phoebe's legs.)
(Camera pans to Ross, holding his stomach)
Ross: Thanks you guys. (Walks away happily and his parents smile.)
Chandler: Why not, just because his great-grandmother was obese, our kids are gonna get that from you anyway!
[Cut to Living Room, Rachel is sleeping on the couch, Ross is gone, the rest of them can finally emerge from their cell. They all wave good bye, and start to walk quietly out, as Monica goes and puts a blanket on Rachel. Joey starts walking all hunched over and bobbing his shoulders as he goes.]
(Joey enters with his dad)
Monica: I mean, all Im asking for is just a little emotion! Is that too much to ask after six years?! I mean what? Are-are-are Rachel and I not as close as you guys?! I mean do we not have as much fun?! Dont I deserve a few tears?!! I mean we-we told Joey, he cried his eyes out!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and then Adrian, she maybe she could wrap her legs around his waist.
Joey: Dad, dad. (Shakes his head)
Rachel: Oh! Man, I never thought I'd be here.. (She leans back onto his hand.)
(Decided that they are less than human as well, Chandler picks up a golf club and Monica a frying pan, to join in on the fun of beating their good friend to within an inch of his life!)