words in movies
PHOEBE: Oh, oh, OK, so everyone, pretend like I'm telling you a story, OK. And, and it's really funny. So everyone just laugh, now.
ROB: Hi. I'm Rob Dohnen.
LIPSON: Ahh, I'm afraid I have some bad news. Marcel has passed on.
LIPSON: I'm sorry Mr. Geller. But ya know, there's an old saying, 'Sometimes monkeys die.' It's not a great saying but it certainly is fitting today.
LIPSON: I'm sorry. Look, I know this can't bring him back but here, it's just a gesture.
PHOEBE: No, uh-uh, I'm just, I'm nervous. So, you know what, maybe if I just, if I picture them all in their underwear.
PHOEBE: I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm used to playing for grown-ups. Ya know, they just, grown-ups drink their coffee and do their grown-up thing, ya know, and kids listen. This is a huge responsibility. What? Are you gonna kiss me?
PHOEBE: OK. [they kiss] OK, alrighty, let's play some tunes. Hi everybody, I'm Phoebe
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
JOEY: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
ROSS: Well, I guess I'm gonna call the beer company and try to find out where he is.
JOEY ON TV: Damnit, I'm a doctor, I'm not God.
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
JOEY: I'm not Drake.
JOEY: Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me Erica. You deserve to be with the real Drake, he's the one you fell in love with. Go to Salem, find him, he's the guy for you.
ROB: I'm not saying you have to be Barney.
PHOEBE: OK, Rachel, I'm ready.
CHANDLER: What, you never look down in the shower? Oh please. I'm not allowed to make one joke in the monkey-is-penis genre?
SECURITY GUARD: I'm sorry guys, closed set.
ROSS: Uh, I'm sorry, you don't understand, I'm, I'm, I'm a friend of his. We uh, we used to live together.
PHOEBE: OK. Um, how come I'm walking with you?
SUSIE: I'm Susie Moss. Fourth grade, glasses, I used to carry around a box of animal crackers like a purse. CHANDLER: Susie Moss, right, yeah, wow, you look. . . great job growing up.
RACHEL: OK, I'm doin' it for ya.
VAN DAMME: You don't think I'm cute?
CHANDLER: OK, then, eat me, I'm done.
PHOEBE: OK, now I'm gonna kick some ass.
CHANDLER: I'm hangin in. . . and a little out.
CHANDLER: I'm going to the bathroom now. [leaves for the bathroom]
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
MONICA: I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing him.
RACHEL: Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him.
MONICA: I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves [pulls Rachel's gloves out of her purse]
CHANDLER: Not exactly. . . I'm wearin panties.
CHANDLER: No. I'm not letting you or anybody else see, ever.
JOEY: Can't help you, I'm not wearing any.
JOEY: Oh, I'm gettin' heat from the guy in the hot pink thong.
PHOEBE: I'm almost done with it, keep your panties on.
JOEY: Hey, hey, and I'm in the movie.
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
VAN DAMME: [to Rachel] I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, [to Monica] or you and me. Drew was very disappointed.
Ross: (I can't make it out.) The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
Chandler: 'S'why I'm dancing...
Ross: And everyone's telling me, you gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it, you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore.
Ross: Shut up! It was nice. I just... I don't think I'm the dirty-talking kind of guy, you know?
Joey: No, no, no, I'm telling ya. Imagine yourself living in a supermarket and you will understand okay? So the question is, what do we do?
Joey: Ahhh, I fold like a cheap hooker who got hit in the stomach by a fat guy with sores on his face. (the girls look at him, confused) Oh, I'm out.
MRS GREEN: I'm uh, considering leaving your father.
Chandler: Yes I'm gonna put it back (Mocking Ross) exactly where I found it.
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, it's Monica. I'm just checking in 'cause I got this message from you and I didn't know if it was old or new or what. So, I'm just checkin'. So let me know, or don't, whatever. I'm breezy."
Rachel: Mmm-hmmm. Oh, so typical. Ooo, I'm a man. Ooo, I have a penis. Ooo, I have to win money to exert my power over women. (hands over her money)
Ross: ...I'll go. Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do this. We loved him.
Monica: Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I wanna, I want him to be like naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh!
MONICA: Nothin', nothin', hey you're a cheapasaurus. I'm kidding, I'm kidding, thank you, I'm very greatful.
Chandler: I got caught up and work, but I'm quitting tomorrow.
Mr. Tribbiani: Just for a coupla days. I got a job midtown. I figure I'm better off staying with the kid than hauling my ass back and forth on the ferry. (Sees Roger) I don't know this one.
Elizabeth: Ross, umm, you've been in there for a long time. I'm starting to get kinda freaked out.
Joey: Okay, you hide my clothes. I'm gonna do the exact opposite to you.
Monica: That was some hot love you gave me! I'm gonna go get ready.
Frank: Uh, Delaware. She's on her way though, so until she gets here, I'm gonna be your coach. But don't worry, she told me all about the la-Mazada stuff.
Monica: Because... I'm Monica Geller. It was my credit card you were using.
MR. HECKLES: Thank you. I'm going to rejoin my dinner party.
Gary: Okay. And don't worry, I'm not just gonna take you out for donuts.
Ross: Listen, I'm in Elizabeth's bathroom
Chandler: I don't see it that way. Okay? Because, I see two Monicas, the one that was my friend, who lived across the hall, and wanted to have a lot of babies and then the new Monica, who I just started to date. Now, who's to say what she wants?! Im right. I'm right. Am I right?
Phoebe: (sarcastic) Ah, yeah, he's so adorable, God, he's just so much fun, Joey is the best, I'm glad you're having so much fun here. (She turns around, about to leave)
Ross: Y'know what? I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no divorces in '99!
JOEY: Hey, I'll be alright. I mean it's not like I'm starting from sqare one. I was Dr. Drake Remoray on Days of Our Lives. Heh? I mean that's gotta have some kind of cache.
Phoebe: Oh no, no, no, no... That's okay, that's okay... I mean, I'm... I am a vegetarian... except for veal... Yeah no, veal I love...
Rachel: Well, I-I know you can do that too. I'm just, I'm just saying if you need somebody to talk to Hi!
Monica: Hey! Oh, I'm so glad you're home, I thought tonight we could finally organize these photos!
Rachel: I'm sorry, what?
Monica: You can't fire me. I make your decisions and I say, "I'm not fired!" Ha!
Monica: Alright, well I'm tearing the lettuce.
Monica: Oh-oh, no no don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.
Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...
Chandler: (following him) I'm telling you, I watched the tape. (Reaches Joey's room and Joey slams the door in his face)
Phoebe: OK, now I'm gonna kick some ass.
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
Phoebe: Oh, I'm going to give him something else besides joy, just (She scowls at him.)
Chandler: I'm telling ya! It's gonna happen. Next year it's gonna be you, me and the little Hemingway Bing. (pause) What, he's my favourite author!
PHOEBE: Um, I'm gonna go meet Duncan, he's skating tonight at the Garden, he's in the Capades.
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
Rachel: All right, I'm outta here!
Monica: Something went wrong with Underdog, and they couldn't get his head to inflate. So anyway, um, his head is like flopping down Broadway, right, and I'm just thinking... how inappropriate this is. Um, I've got something in my eye, uh, Joey, could we check it in the light, please?
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
Monica: Alright. I'm gonna go change, I've got a date.
Ross: I'm going to the bathroom. (Gets up and exits.)
Chandler: Yeah, I'm kinda wishing everyone wasn't here right now.
Monica: (to her son) Oh, hey handsome! Oh, I'm gonna love you so much that no woman is ever gonna be good enough for you! (To Chandler, on the verge of tears) Oh, we are so lucky!
Gavin: I wasn't checking her out. I'm in fashion, I was looking at her skirt. Or was it pants? I didn't really see what happened below the ass area.
Rachel: And the chicken pooped in her lap. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't I? Oh! It's just, I just heard this story in the cab, and it is all I can think about.
Monica, Joey, and Phoebe: [singing] I'm on top of the world, looking down on creation and the only explanation I can find...
Frank Sr.: I just, I y'know, I'm not very good at this. So, umm (Backs away.)
Chandler: I don't know. But I know I'm not afraid to do this.
Gary: So you know what I'm talking about, right?
Rachel: (handing her the wine) Okay honey, now I'm gonna try to listen from right here!
Phoebe: Well, yeah! But I'm not gonna take anymore crap. Okay? No more Mrs. Nice Bucket!
Ross: yes, yes I did. and I will also say what I'm about to say Vis-�-vis the following Phoebe has never had a serious relationship since her. super-serious relationship with. Vicrum.
(Now they kiss passionately... and then Ross enters with Emma. They freeze, pull away and look at Ross who looks like he just can't believe what he's seeing. Joey straightens his shirt, and Rachel says I'm so-oo sorry, and presses her breasts together, just like Joey did before.)
Ross: All right I guess I'm, gonna go pack. (Starts to leave)
Emily: Ross, I'm only ringing to say stop harassing my relatives. Good-bye!
Monica:: he has to work, there's some rush on the big (pause, thinks) ah damn it one of these days I'm really gonna have to start listening when he talks about his job.
Mark: I can't help it, I'm just, I'm just crazy about you.
Joey: It is me! It's a musical version of Tale of Two Cities. So I think I'm gonna sing New York, New York, and ah, oh I left My Heart in San Francisco.
JULIE: Um, oh, I don't know. I mean, it's definitely weird not being with Ross, but I guess I'm doing OK. Actually I've got some of his stuff that he, um....
Monica: (entering) Phoebe? (Phoebe comes back into the living room) Oh, Phoebe, I'm so sorry. Have you been here long?
Rachel: I'm so sorry, you guys. I didn't mean to bring you down.
Gary: I know, really well. In fact, I'm gonna ask Phoebe to move in with me.
Rachel: Okay, well, I'm gonna clear out some of these boxes. (She grabs a couple of the old pizza boxes and exits.)
Monica: No, no, no. Honey, I'm ok. Shake it off! (she shakes the wrist and it's more painful) Oh, no! No shaking, no shaking! Ooh! Ooh! (pause) Oh my God! I can't play!
RACHEL: What? Come on, it's not like I'm asking for this girly clock or anything, which, by the way, I also think is very cool.
Chandler: Man, I'm so lucky I have Monica.
Chandler: Because I'm very happy for him! (To Monica) And you, you lucky dog!
Joey: I guess I'm going to have to come up with a really good reason why I wasn't there. The producers are going to be so mad at me. They sat us all down yesterday and said "Everyone has to be there at 6:00 AM sharp, that means you Tribbiani." Like.. like I was some kind of idiot.
Rachel: Oh no wait Pheebs, I think for something like that you just ask them to move in with you. But I'm not sure, Chandler?
ROSS: I just wanna thank you for being there for me today. And I'm sorry I,I almost broke your hand.
Ross: You know what I don't care. The only person I cared about getting dressed, is the one person that says she's not even gonna go. Look Rach, I'm sorry. Okay. Look, I-I wa, I was a jerk. I'm sorry I yelled. I want you there, I need you there. Look, what, what can I do that can show you how much, how much I want you to be there.
The Teacher: Are you just repeating what I'm saying?
NOTE: For this episode, I'm using italics to signify portions contained in the prom video.
Monica: So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises.
Phoebe: Hey you guys I'm gonna go out and take a walk.
Rachel: (on phone) Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat...(cut)...I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. (She hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket.)
Phoebe: I'm sorry, who's this?
Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry.
Monica: Ross, I'm gonna use yours, okay?
Rachel: You're right, I'm sorry. Thank you. Okay, that's what I'm gonna do.
Rachel: No, I'm not blushing, I'm sunburnt! From, you know, the rain.
Rachel: Yeah? I'm sorry about your girlfriend.
Ross: Yeah, but, but look what I'm...
Ross: I can't believe you guys are moving in together. That's, that's great! I mean...I'm happy for you guys..
Charlie: Come on, he's still in the bathroom! I'm begging you!
Tag: Um, I'm not.
Maitre d': I'm sorry. Christmas is a very busy time, sir.
Monica: Ahh, Phoebe, I'm gonna miss you!
Monica: Phoebe, don't worry about it. I'm sure she wants to live with you.
Ross: I'm sorry, Chandler but this, this is really important to me.
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?
Phoebe: Yeah, I know because you have all the good words. What do I get? I get "its," "and" oh I'm sorry, I have "A." Forget it.
Rachel: I'm not gonna gooo, so I think that will accomplish the not going.