words in movies
Chandler: Great, a faster way to tell people that I'm unemployed and childless .
Ross: You know what? I'm gonna finish this later, ok? Let me just grab my coat.
Chandler: Oh, I'm so sorry!
Phoebe: Well no, when I get to the point where... you know... I'm ready to hear cruel mocking jokes about Mike... I'm gonna come to you.
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
Rachel: Oh, oh thanks. Alright well, now that I'm up I'm going to go to the bathroom.
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
Ross: (visibly upset) I'm dead?
Ross: Unbelievable, my classmates are gonna think I'm dead, my professors, my... my parents are gonna get phone calls. You're messing with people's feelings here.
Ross: You've really crossed the line here, but that's okay, it's ok 'cause I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software and a stack of gay porn. That's right! Your coming out is about to get real graphic.
Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
Phoebe: I'm sorry, I broke down... I wanted to see him.
Monica: Sure! If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join ya. You know, I'm your friend (to Phoebe) and Mike's friend (Mike is sceptical).
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Ross: What are you talking about? You get sixty responses just for coming out of the closet! I didn't get one response! And I'm dead!
Chandler: Right, I mean, come on, I'm sure that if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would come.
Rachel: I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap, have you seen Hugsy?
Monica: Alright you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone. Here's a few things you can discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it.
Mike: I've missed you so much! No, I'm not gonna ask you to get back together because I know we want different things, but just to be with you one more night.
Monica: Hi, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe!
Ross: Ok, ok! I'm gonna go hide! Oh, this is so exciting, my first mourner! (he hides in the bedroom and closes the door)
Tom: Hi, you're Chandler Bing, right? I'm Tom Gordon, I was in your class.
Tom: Thanks... uh... I'm so sorry about Ross, it's...
Ross: (coming in) I'm dead and no one cares?
Chandler: I'm sure it's somebody for you. Now, go hide. (Ross hides in the bedroom again)
Kori: Hi. I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial service.
Chandler: Chandler, Chandler Bing. I'm not gay, I'm not gay at all.
Chandler: I'm sure that would mean a lot to him. And if heaven has a door, I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently.
Ross: (he bounds into the lounge room) But you didn't! I'm still alive!! Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you. It's a long story but the things you just said really made my day! I mean, the fact that you are here means more to me than if this room were filled with people!
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Phoebe: Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you.
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?
Chandler: Okay, but if he asks, I'm not going to lie.
Ross: I'm having... I'm having a baby. (jumps back onto the table again) I'm having a... Where's the phone? The phone?
Ross: I thought I heard voices! Hi Charlie! (Kisses her.) Hi Joey. (Hugs him.) And.. Oh! You're gonna have to introduce me to your new girlfriend. (Laughs.) I'm just kidding, I know Rachel, I know. (He squeezes her hand.) Come, please come in. Come in.
Rachel: Well, my boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview and he heard everything. So later he calls me to his office and he tells me that he's gonna have to let me go, because I'm not a team player. And I said "Wait a minute! Yes I am." and I had to sit there for 45 minutes while he proved that that in fact... was true.
Monica: Oh, I'm glad. Listen, I want to apologize about Chandler, though. I just did not see this coming.
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
Phoebe: Oh yeah, no-no-no. I'm fine. I'm okay, but umm, my Grandma sorta died.
Ross: Anyway, suddenly I'm down field, and I realise that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right? Only I know there is no way I'm gonna get there in time, so I am running, and running, and that, that is when I woke up. See I, I am so not ready to be a father.
Joey: (entering) Hey! I'm meeting Kathy in ten minutes! I've been looking all over for you!
Chandler: (interrupting in the nick of time) Joey, I uh! I can't believe this is how I'm spending my anniversary.
RYAN: I better get out of here, I'm gonna miss my flight.
Phoebe: I'm gonna find a selfless good dead. I'm gonna beat you, you evil genius.
Chandler: Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.
Phoebe: Yep! As long as you understand that I'm going to call my lawyer and once he puts you on the stand he'll make you look like a fool. A fool!
Joey: No! But y'know, I'm an actor, I'll act cool.
Phoebe: Oh! What's the matter? Are you scared? You're afraid I'm a better singer? You're afraid I'm gonna beat you at singing?
Joey: So, what, you think I'm just gonna sleep with her and never call her again and things are gonna get uncomfortable? (thinks about it) Yeah, sounds about right.
Chandler: All right! Fine! I'm going. But when I get back it's chair sitting, and I'm the guy who's....sitting in a chair! (leaves)
Joey: I know, I'm so bummed. Can we have our free crab cakes now?
EDDIE: I tell ya, I-, I'm gonna go read in my room for a little while.
Ross: Weird? What? What's weird? The only thing weird would be if someone didn't like Mexican food, because I'm making fajitas!! (Storms off.)
CHAN: Whoa, whoa, so I'm guessing you didn't get the part, or... uh, Italy called and said it was hungry.
Joey: (there's a gunshot on TV) There's my scene, there's my scene. [Joey on tv] "Mrs. Wallace, I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon. I'm afraid the situation is much worse than we expected. Your sister is suffering from a..." (Does the smell-the-fart look.)
CHANDLER: Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing.
Ross: I love you too, and I'm never letting you go again.
Monica: Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you. I mean, just because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you. I mean, (starting to cry) you're my...We're, we're...Oh, I love you.
Joey: What? No, the only reason I'm going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here.
Chandler: Not quite. Monica's still at the salon, and I'm just finishing packing.
Joey: I don't know. But hey, I know we can decide. Okay, I'm gonna ask you questions and you answer real quick. Okay?
Chandler: What does it look like I'm doing? I am cleaning!
Phoebe: No. I'm sorry. It's just 'cause I couldn't be there. 'Cause all I ever get to do now is pregnant stuff, it just bums me out.
CHANDLER: (writhes as if in agony) All right, look.� Just stay there.� I'm coming home.
Phoebe: Monica! I'm sorry I'm late! (Starts looking around for her) Monica? (Goes into Monica's bedroom.)
MNCA: But I'm gonna be there... for the rest of my life. I mean, I can't break up with him. I'm the one who made him quit drinking. He's dull because of me.
Julie: Hi, but I'm not here, you haven't met me. I'll make a much better first impression tomorrow when I don't have 20 hours of cab and plane on me.
Ross: Yeah, I'm gonna stay and read my book. I just wanna be alone right now.
Charlie: I'm pretty sure, professor Spafford from Cornell?
Phoebe: Oh, I'm just so exhausted from dragging around this... (she shows her ring) HUGE engagement ring!
Joey: Yeah, you're gonna go up to her and say, "Here's your egg back, I'm returning your egg."
Monica: Oh! So you think I'm a failure!
Joey: You know what? I think I'm gonna stay here and make sure he's okay.
Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Chandler: The agency must have made some mistake. My wife is not a reverend and I'm not a doctor.
Rachel: Oh God. (He hands her some tissues.) No! Oh not again! (Wiping her nose.) This-this happened when my grandfather died. It's ugh! Sorry. (She puts her head back.) Oh, okay, so I'm sorry, what-what were you-what did you want to tell me?
KEVIN: All right. It's no big deal. BILL: So, she has a boyfriend. What is your situation? RACHEL: Oh, well, it's complicated. I don't actually have a boyfriend.� But um. . . BILL: Then, can I have your number? RACHEL: (pause) I'm sorry, no. BILL: Okay. (They start to walk away.) RACHEL: Oh sure.� (She pulls a business card from her purse and writes on it.) PHOEBE: (Reading the card.) Oh my God, you're giving your real number. BILL: Okay, thanks. I'll give you a call later tonight. RACHEL: Great. BILL: Bye PHOEBE: Bye. (The guys leave.) Wow. So, that's great. You, Bill, Ross, and Emma are going to be so happy together. What were you thinking?
Dr. Franzblau: I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them.
Rachel: OK, OK. I'm with you, Cheech. OK.
Ross: Oh, oh, I'm, I'm, I'm sorry sweetie, I was just trying to ah, I'm dialing another number. (hangs up)
ROSS: It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird.
Monica: I'm sorry, I didn't know to look for Chinese food on the floor.
Rachel: Whoa, I'm sorry. Excuse me. We had this cart.
Chandler: (looks him in the eye) I'm not breaking up with her! (they stare at each other for a while, then Joey blows in his face)
Joey: Ooh, hey, I know how we can decide! All right, uh, I'm gonna ask you a bunch of questions and then you have to answer real fast. Okay? So uh, clear your mind Clear it right out! Clear it out! Clear!
Rachel: (starts crying and speaking at the same time, making it almost impossible to understand what she's saying) I wouldn't know what I'm gonna do without you...
Rachel: I forgot... I am supposed to pick up a friend at the airport. I am so sorry! I'm so... if you want to stay, and finish your drinks, please do.... (gives him her drink) I meanI'm sorry. I-I-I gotta go. I'm sorry.
Monica: Y'know what, I'm gonna hold her head.
Monica: All right, Rachel, I know-I know you think I'm crazy, please, before you tell him you love him, just-just try to find one person who thinks this is a good idea. Because I bet you, you can't.
Phoebe: Yeah That does sound great. I'm going to get the phone. (They both get up.)
Phoebe: I'm not. I'm praying. (looking up) Please let the Knicks win... Thank you Thor! (Mike is standing up) Where... where are you going?
FBOB: OK, now before I go, does anybody else need to be picked up? [everyone raises their hands] I'm still gonna go.
JOEY: Chandler gave me word of the day toilet paper. I'm gonna get some coffee.
Chandler: It's not gone! I mean, I'm sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy, right?
ROSS: I uh can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think Susan's right.
Monica: Ok, I'm sensing that this is some kind of word play, because you are pink with barely controlled glee.
RACHEL: I know, I know, I know, I know. I was just thinking about when they were there the last time, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. OK, OK, look, woah, I promise, I'm good, I'm not gonna laugh anymore. OK put your hands back there.
Janice: Uh-oh-okay. Uh-oh-okay. I know what you all are thinking. But Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman! I have needs! I can't wait forever!
RACHEL: Alright you guys, I'm takin' off my shirt.
Monica: Noooo! (Comes closer and whispers) I'm lying. I am so drunk.
Phoebe: No! No! I'm talking you up to people. Just give it a little time, all right? Relax, get something to eat! Okay?
Chandler: Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! (pause) Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!
Rachel: Oh yeah, I'm jealous. "Oh Gavin, please, please look at my ass". (Gavin starts looking) Stop looking at my ass! I mean, I just think you are totally inappropriate, ok? This is a work environment, she's your subordinate.
Chandler: Monica, you have got to stop this competitive thing! Okay? It's crazy. {Finally! The voice of reason.} I mean, just impress Gary and Phoebe we have to go upstairs and have sex over and over and I'm saying no to this, why? Get your coat.
Monica: Hi. Uh, you... you don't know me, I'm Monica Geller... Ross's sister.
Mike: (Ross opens the door) You know I'm trying to think of the last time I opened a door and you weren't there, Phoebe are you ok? (She has her hands over her mouth)
ROY: Oh, I'm gonna kick Chip's ass.
David: No, I'm... not going to Minsk.
Phoebe: Oh, I know a way that you can decide! All right, I'm going to ask you a series of questions and you answer as quickly as you can.
MR. GELLER: I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.
Amy: Well, I don't need you to help me, because I already know what I'm going to do with my life.
Chandler: Oh, I'm so glad we cleared that up. Look, I'm sorry, some things are different for men and for women.
PHOEBE: It's such a shame you can't see which finger I'm holding up.
Rachel: (stopping a nurse who's coming out of a room) Oh, uhm, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
CHANDLER: I'm sorry. �That's the one thing I can't do.� I promised I'd be with Monica.
Phoebe: Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
Ross: Oh! A fine choice. I'm coming out. (Starts to climb over the furniture)
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
PHOEBE: OK, here I go. . . here I go. . . I'm goin'. [she just sits in the cab]
Rachel: Uh, actually, I think I'm gonna be busy.
Monica: Chandler! I have to tell you, you smell so smokey I have to get up. I'm not kidding. (She's not; she stands and walks away. Chandler moves closer.)
Joey: (Shocked) Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. (turns the bolts of the door, thereby locking it)
CHAN: OK, I'm gonna get some more coffee before the pinching and eye-poking begins.
ROSS: Hi, we're visitiing. It's Ben and his da-da. Da-da. Can you say da-da? Look, I'm gonna tell your momies you said it anyway so you might as well try.
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
Monica: (answers the phone) Hello? (Listens.) (To Phoebe) It's Joey. (Phoebe's proud of herself.) (To Joey) I'm so glad you called! Chandler told me what happened. Y'know he's really upset about it.
Rachel: I'm all better now.
Phoebe: Hi, yeah, hi! I'm umm, Phoebe Buffay, and I have babies coming out of me.
Charlie: I'm sorry, I have a really early class in the morning, but this has been lovely.