words in movies
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Ross: Just the one divorce in '99! Y'know what, I am gonna be happy this year. I am gonna make myself happy.
Ross: Everyday I am gonna do one thing that I haven't done before. That my friends is my New Year's resolution.
Joey: Well, y'know those special skills I have listed on my resume? I would love it would be great if one of those was true.
Phoebe: Well, I taught me and I love me.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Monica: Well if Ted Kopel talked about his coworkers botched boob jobs, I would.
Ross: I just asked that girl out.
Chandler: No. No, I just think that maybe I-I'd heard it somewhere before. (Sits down rubbing his temple.)
Joey: See ya! All right Pheebs, I am ready for my first lesson.
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
Chandler: What an interesting approach to guitar instruction. Y'know some might find it amusing, I myself find it regular.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Joey: Yeah listen so, I thought I was getting better, so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store and
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Monica: I like 'em.
Monica: I like them a lot.
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
(They all speak at once in general approval of his pants selection; Joey asks where he got them. I can't pick out the rest of it.)
Ross: Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself, "Wow, (To Chandler) I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before."
Monica: No! To take more pictures of all of us together. I mean I really think it's the best resolution because everyone will enjoy the pictures.
Ross: That was just the pants on the couch. Umm, hey, do you, do you mind if I use your bathroom?
Joey: Yes! Yes, I did.
Joey: What?! I didn't touch a guitar!
Phoebe: Y'know none of my other student thought I was stupid.
Joey: (looking in the Yellow Pages) Look, maybe I need to try a real teacher! Right here! Here! Andy Cooper, he teaches guitar and look ooh, there's a nice picture of him with a little kid and THE KID'S GOT A GUITAR!!!!!! (Storms out.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Ross: (calling from Elizabeth's bathroom) Joey, it's Ross! I need some help!
Ross: No, I-I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off but they must have shrunk from the-the sweat or-or-or my legs expanded from the heat. Look, I-I can't put them back on. I can't!
Ross: Powder! Yeah! Yeah, I have powder! (Grabs some of her shelf.)
Ross: Ohh, I-I see lotion, I have lotion! Will that work?
Ross: Dude, what am I gonna
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Joey: Oh well, you're timing couldn't be better. I am putting out fires all over the place.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Joey: Oh no, no-no-no-no! I don't want to know!
Joey: I don't care, Rach! Look, I am tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets but can't tell anyone!
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Ross: I had a problem.
Phoebe: No, I can't talk to you! I don't have a fancy ad in the Yellow Pages!
Joey: Look, Pheebs, I just, I wanna apologize for, for saying that your method was stupid and-and maybe ask you to be my teacher again. And-and I promise, I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready. (After a short pause she hands him her guitar.) You really think I'm ready?
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
Monica: Okay, now that everything's wrapped up here, I think I'm, I'm gonna go do my laundry.
Phoebe: Okay, I'm gonna go too. I'm gonna go to the airport. I figure if I hang around there long enough, someone's bound to leave one of those planes unattended.
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: I might know something.
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Joey: I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Joey: Yeah, I know!!!!
Phoebe: Hey! It's raining. I don't want to fly in the rain. So
Joey: Oh, I am going to go for a walk in the rain.
Phoebe: That's weird. (Pause.) I bet they're doing it.
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Chandler: Uh, credit card. (Reaches for it then realizes) Oh no! No-no, but I left my credit card with Joey. (To Phoebe) Okay, Ill go get it. You guard the ring.
Monica: Im just having one of those days where you realize youre in a dead-end relationship!
Ross: Okay, I guess it's just flan for three! Hey, hey, that rhymed!
Chandler: I believe in tall, handsome strangers who hit on my wife!
Conan: When you have to do physical business for a scene, I mean there must be; there must be a lot of funny moments when you have to physically do a task as part of a scene.
Erica: Anyway, I'm gonna go and get some rest. I'm really glad I picked you guys. You're gonna make great parents. Even Chandler.
Phoebe: And then. I would use y'know the strongest tool at my disposal. My sexuality.
Chandler: Could be. I mean technically she did strip, we just, we just missed it. (Walks towards the bedroom.) Maam, are you also a stripper?
Monica: Uh, listen, I need that broiling pan that Joey borrowed the other day.
Chandler: (ignoring him) Yes, Gunther, can I get two cups of chino, please?
Phoebe: Okay, look at him. Look at those strong hands. Oh what I wouldnt give to be that can of (looks closer to see what Jack is drinking) condensed milk.
Joey: What do you mean? Rach, don't I seem like a professor you'd buy some kind of e-crap from?
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke-(Yelps in
Ross: No, Im genuinely sorry the Mark thing didnt work out. Look, Rach, I want only good things for you.
Rachel: I, I didn't say any... I sw... I did not say anything, I swear. He stopped by.
Chandler: No, you dont have to, and you cant because I live here too.
Rachel: Im just kidding too. (Laughs) Im getting married in December. (Turns away not happy with herself.)
Student: Look, I just saw my best friends brains smeared across the canvas, thats not gonna be me, not me.
Monica: (Excited) Oh my God, can you believe we are surrounded by all this? I can barely control myself.
Rachel: What? Oh, well then yknow what? I think Monica would be very interested to know that you called her cheesecake dry and mealy.
Chandler: Well, this was great. Ill give you a call. We should do it again sometime. (Rachel is disappointed)
Rachel: Ohh, okay. (Ross has a sign on his back that reads Poop.) WhAh-ha! (Ross stops and turns.) Wait a minute. Uh Ben, I cant do it.
Rachel: I dont care! I dont care! You are going to have to take her out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows its actually ended. And, I dont care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again!
Amy: Yeah, well you know what I cannot believe. That my so-called sister, gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren and I still have to pay retail.
Rachel: You know the book says that whenever shes sleeping I should be sleeping so (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down)
Rachel: (tearful) I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family-
Joey: What?! Thats not fair! Its not my fault! I was off with my brides maid! And whos to say I wouldve even said yes?! (To Monica) I mean I wouldve said yes. Chandler look y-y-you are making way to big a deal out of this, all right? Look, everything worked out okay!
STEVE: Listen, it was nice to see you. I gotta run backstage.
Ross: It's been an hour and not one of my classmates has shown up! I tell you, when I actually die some people are gonna get seriously haunted!
Ross: No, its not just cause Im jealous. (Both Monica and Chandler give him a Come on look) I mean Im not, Im not, Im not jealous, okay? Its Look, the guy, he screamed, he actually screamed at this couple sitting in our seats.
Chandler: It was awful. To get out of going to dinner with Doug I told him that you and I split up. So then he took me to all these strip clubs and sleazy bars, and then when I wouldnt give him my wedding ring, he threw a soda can at a bird!
Rachel: Cos I was gonna say theres no way you couldve done the end the way you guys did it back then!
Ross: Sorry! Sorry! Oh, (He sticks it under his shirt) there! (It's just there flashing through his shirt) Hey Gary, who am I? Phone home!
Ross: This is crazy. I mean, six years? And because of me you guys aren't gonna be together? Can I ask you something? Really, what is this thing with you and Rachel?
Joey: Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!?
Joey: Yes I am! Again so simple!
Ross: Look, I dont think so Pheebs. (Pause) All right, Ill do it. But just because youre a friend. (Grabs the tickets and heads to divert Whitney.)
Joey: ...Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven. See, I told you! Less than a hundred steps from our place to here.
Cecilia: I am. I am, but I dont know you know. An actor of a certain age is not that easy.
Rachel: Dont worry I promise that you will only have to be pregnant for a few more hours, cause Im going to tell the father today.
Rachel: Oh okay, Ill fix that to. Whats her e-mail address?
Joey: I promise. And that means, never having to give a reason. (Phoebe stops herself from laughing and leaves)
Rachel: I can get a quick bite to eat, but then I have to come back up here.
EDDIE: Oh yeah, that's right, look I got us a new goldfish. He's a lot fiestier that the last one.
Chandler: I dont know! You were a delight to talk to. You asked all those insightful, great questions.
Ross: Well, oh, Im sorry your car broke down Pheebs, but Im a little too busy with some of my real friends right now, but please call to let me know you got home safely okay?
Ross: It went great! And I didnt need any jokes or naked chicks either!
Chandler: Okay, Ms. McKenna, she kind of works above my boss, she asked me to move to Tulsa and be the president of our office there, and I was sleeping and apparently, said yes.
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
Rachel: Hi! I just wanna-(sees Monica)-Ahhh!!! Oh my God! (She runs out in horror.) Oh my God!
Max: Tell her, David. 'I don't wanna go to Minsk and work with Lifson and Yamaguchi and Flench, on nonononononono. I wanna stay here and make out with my girlfriend!!' (Storms out)
Ross: Well, I called over there and it turns out Ugly Naked Guy is subletting it himself and he's already had like a hundred applicants.
Chandler: (sliding up behind her) No. No, I wont. Do you know why I took all those lessons? See, for the first time I didnt want you to be embarrassed to be seen on the dance floor with some clumsy idiot.
Ross: Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. I mean, you probably just want to be alone.
Monica: Okay, just back off mister! Whoa. (Pause) Cause I am ready to have a baby. I just want Joey to be the father.
Joey: Look, my best friends are getting married in like an hour. Okay? And Im the minister. Please! Please! Can you pull it together?
Rachel: I mean its the end of an era!
Mrs. Bing: (on TV) ...I just get this craving for Kung Pow Chicken.
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
Hayley: no that's just where you were going I just figured that I'd help you out, you don't seem like the kind of guy that does this very a lot.
Joey: No-no-no-no look no! I wont spit, and I wont stare at Monicas breasts! Yknow? Everyone knows Im an ass man!
DUNCAN: But now I know I don't have a choice about this, I was born this way.
Phoebe: (still very excited) I don't care, I've never won anything before, I can't believe this!
Joey: Anyway, it wasnt the robot, it was the guy who controls him. Yeah, he doesnt like me. He had C.H.E.E.S.E. knock over the sandwich right when I was reaching for one! Ohh!
Joey: Look, you and I have been given a gift. Okay? We have to do something with it. Like-like, hand modeling! Huh? Or-or magic! And you know NASA's gonna wanna talk to us!
Phoebe: Okay. Then he still has this huge decision to make. Now hes walking around thinking, Do I want to be a dad? and then bam!
Phoebe: Um-mmm, and I wont have to go there anymore because I gave them my correct address.
Cecilia: (to him) Im having a conversation here! (To Joey) You were saying?
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?
Rachel: Oh my God!! You just ruined the thing I was practicing the whole way home, but Im soo happy!
Phoebe: Youre in my office! Look, I have made a lot of cash for this company! Okay? I am talking big bucks! Pesos! Yen! Rubles! You make one little mistake
Joey: (excitedly) Can I come?! I wont even talk! Youll just hear the noise from my video camera.
JOEY: I don't know how to tell you this but, uh . . . I think Monica's cheatin' on ya.� I told you shouldn't have married someone so much hotter than you.
Phoebe: Awe, this is so sweet of you! But you know what? I won’t be needing a veil, I actually won’t be wearing a dress at all!
David: (Stands up and speaks more loudly) Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen in my- in my life. And then he said that- you said you thought
Chandler: Okay, but there is a big difference. You are a lot hotter than I am.
Phoebe: Uh! The psychic also said that I would be betrayed.
CHANDLER: Oh hey, it's, it's terriffic. I mean it's a regular space... fest.
Rachel: Oh yes I do. I do. I believe that there is one perfect person out there for everyone. And do you know how you find him? You stop looking for him. Thats why I stopped looking for Russell Crowe. Hell find me.
Ross: Wait a minute, one box! Come on, Im trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, Im putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you?
Phoebe: No, I mean, I mean, when you're at the fifteenth date, y'know, you're already in a very relationshippy place. Y'know, it's... you're committed.
MONICA: Yes, a relationship. For your information I am crazy about this man.
Phoebe: Ugh! I dont know Monica. It feels funny just being here. I mean if you buy a bed from Janices ex-husband, thats like betraying Chandler.
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Erin: Look, hes a really great guy and I know that you really want this to work out, but I just dont see this having a future.
Phoebe: Well, I would love to but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)
Ross: Yes, you're right. Still somebody must have seen it... I mean, I went to that school for 4 years, I didn't have an impact on anyone?
Danny: (To Monica) On the date, I will be able to talk to her directly? (To Rachel) See ya Friday. (He walks out.)
Phoebe: Look David, if... if you had never left, then... yeah, we'd probably still be together right now, but... you did leave, and I-I'm with Mike and I really care about him...
Joey: Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. (Looks around) Mike!! Mike!!
Monica: No, Ive had second thoughts about that. Do you realize how hard that would be to clean?
Joey: Yeah! All rightLook, I know sometimes itll be hard, okay? But, itll also be really really great. Please Rachel! I-I-I really want you to stay.
Joey: You got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one. (Joey leaves, comes back in.) Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there?
Erica: Hey, well, in a couple of weeks I won't be able to travel.
Joey: (voice-over) ...and he couldnt let it go, and... I dont really know what happened with that either.
Ross: (in a mocking voice)Uh...sure I do, and I also wanna be King of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart.
Rachel: Oh, between you telling him that I wanted to have a fling and me putting out on the first dateoh, hes so gonna get the wrong idea.
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Maybe uh, you you should come to me. Im a not, Im not wearing any bottoms.
Rachel: (threatening Joey with a scrunchy): Step away from the crib, I have a weapon!
Phoebe: Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?"