words in movies
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
Ross: Just the one divorce in '99! Y'know what, I am gonna be happy this year. I am gonna make myself happy.
Ross: Everyday I am gonna do one thing that I haven't done before. That my friends is my New Year's resolution.
Joey: Well, y'know those special skills I have listed on my resume? I would love it would be great if one of those was true.
Phoebe: Well, I taught me and I love me.
Rachel: Op, look! Claire forgot her glasses! And she's gonna be really needing these to keep an eye on that boyfriend, who, I hear, needs to keep his stapler in his desk drawer, if you know what I'm talking about.
Rachel: I don't gossip!
Rachel: Well, maybe sometimes I find out things or I hear something and I pass that information on y'know kinda like a public service, it doesn't mean I'm a gossip. I mean, would you call Ted Kopel a gossip?
Monica: Well if Ted Kopel talked about his coworkers botched boob jobs, I would.
Ross: I just asked that girl out.
Chandler: No. No, I just think that maybe I-I'd heard it somewhere before. (Sits down rubbing his temple.)
Joey: See ya! All right Pheebs, I am ready for my first lesson.
Phoebe: Okay, lesson one: chords. Now, I don't know the actual names of the chords but umm, I-I-I made up names for the way my hand looks while I'm doing them. (She starts to show Joey the chords. Transcribers Note: For this one you'll have to use your imagination, 'cause it would take me 50 pages to describe each one. So if you want to see them, you'll have to wait for this episode to come to a TV near you.) (Holding up her hand and then reconfiguring her hand with each name.) So then, this is Bear Claw. Okay, umm, Turkey Leg and Old Lady. (Joey tries to imitate them.)
Chandler: What an interesting approach to guitar instruction. Y'know some might find it amusing, I myself find it regular.
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Joey: Yeah listen so, I thought I was getting better, so on my way home today I stopped by this guitar store and
Rachel: I think they're very nice.
Monica: I like 'em.
Monica: I like them a lot.
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
(They all speak at once in general approval of his pants selection; Joey asks where he got them. I can't pick out the rest of it.)
Ross: Oh see, I-I needed a new thing for today and there's this leather store that always smells so good and I thought to myself, "Wow, (To Chandler) I never really owned a good smelling pair of pants before."
Monica: No! To take more pictures of all of us together. I mean I really think it's the best resolution because everyone will enjoy the pictures.
Ross: That was just the pants on the couch. Umm, hey, do you, do you mind if I use your bathroom?
Joey: Yes! Yes, I did.
Joey: What?! I didn't touch a guitar!
Phoebe: Y'know none of my other student thought I was stupid.
Joey: (looking in the Yellow Pages) Look, maybe I need to try a real teacher! Right here! Here! Andy Cooper, he teaches guitar and look ooh, there's a nice picture of him with a little kid and THE KID'S GOT A GUITAR!!!!!! (Storms out.)
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Ross: (calling from Elizabeth's bathroom) Joey, it's Ross! I need some help!
Ross: No, I-I got really hot in my leather pants so I took them off but they must have shrunk from the-the sweat or-or-or my legs expanded from the heat. Look, I-I can't put them back on. I can't!
Ross: Powder! Yeah! Yeah, I have powder! (Grabs some of her shelf.)
Ross: Ohh, I-I see lotion, I have lotion! Will that work?
Ross: Dude, what am I gonna
Rachel: Oh, Joey, I have such a problem!
Joey: Oh well, you're timing couldn't be better. I am putting out fires all over the place.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Joey: Oh no, no-no-no-no! I don't want to know!
Joey: I don't care, Rach! Look, I am tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets but can't tell anyone!
Rachel: I know, I know! I just can't keep this one in, so I pick up the phone (Joey in a childish attempt to not hear what Rachel is about to say, puts his fingers in his ears and starts to scream loudly. Rachel turns and walks out upon seeing that Joey's not gonna listen, and as she exits Chandler walks in and sees Joey in his current state.)
Ross: I had a problem.
Phoebe: No, I can't talk to you! I don't have a fancy ad in the Yellow Pages!
Joey: Look, Pheebs, I just, I wanna apologize for, for saying that your method was stupid and-and maybe ask you to be my teacher again. And-and I promise, I won't touch a guitar until you say I'm ready. (After a short pause she hands him her guitar.) You really think I'm ready?
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
Monica: Okay, now that everything's wrapped up here, I think I'm, I'm gonna go do my laundry.
Phoebe: Okay, I'm gonna go too. I'm gonna go to the airport. I figure if I hang around there long enough, someone's bound to leave one of those planes unattended.
Rachel: Remember that big thing I was gonna tell you about?
Joey: I might know something.
Rachel: I might know something too.
Rachel: Oh no, I can't tell you until you tell me what you know.
Joey: I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: Well then I can't tell you what I know.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Joey: Yeah, I know!!!!
Phoebe: Hey! It's raining. I don't want to fly in the rain. So
Joey: Oh, I am going to go for a walk in the rain.
Phoebe: That's weird. (Pause.) I bet they're doing it.
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Phoebe: Huh, I might be losing interest in this.
Ross: I didnt give her that ring!
Monica: I know that switch does something, okay? So-so I went down to city hall and got these. All I had to do was pay $25 and wait in line for three hours.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
Monica: Hi Dad! I can still call you that right?
Mr. Geller: Whoa-whoa-whoa! I dont think so! Arent you ovulating?
Mr. Geller: Oh, I dont think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.
Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!
Monica: I really like to say that Im-um (Pause) Yknow what Id really like to say? Im drunk!! (Mrs. Geller pulls the camera down.) Thats right mom and dad your little Harmonica is hammered!! (Ross grabs the camera out of his dads hands.) And guess what! Ive been drunk before! And Ive smoked a cigarette! And I got a box of Ding-Dongs hidden in my underwear drawer! Its all okay. Its okay because I turned thirty today. And, and I can do anything I want! Because I am a grown up. (Falls over sideways with Ross filming the fall.)
Mr. Geller: This one time I had my knee up on the sink and your mother, she was
Monica: I dont feel good right now.
Rachel: Hey. I need to tell you something.
Rachel: I know. Days of Our Lives, thank you very much.
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
Rachel: Yeah, I mean whatever.
Rachel: Why not? I dont want to do this alone! And hes such a sweet guy and he loves me so much.
Joey: Hey, everybody lies on their resume, okay. I wasn't one of the Zoom Kids either.
Joey: Look, its not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I dont want to hurt her.
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Rachel: I know.
Ross: I dont think you do.
Ross: Poor baby, youre so tired. Rach, I didnt propose to you, Joey didnt propose to you, and Chandler didnt propose to you.
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: I can come back.
Joey: Actually, technically, I didnt.
Rachel: (grabbing a beer out of the chairs fridge) I am so psyched I kept this chair for myself!
Joey: No, I didnt!
Rachel: Yes, you did! And dont you say, "No, I didnt!"
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, that looks bad. But I didnt I didnt propose!
Chandler: (nervously) It was at the front door. When I got home. Somebody sent it to us.
Phoebe: Yes. Yes I am. Oh my God, Im gonna have a baby! (Joey and Phoebe hug.)
Joey: Well, this is awkward. {See? I told you so.}
Joey: (To Ross) Ill tell you about it later. Be cool.
Rachel: Ross, it is 100 degrees outside. For the first time in weeks, I am somewhat comfortable.
Joey: Dude, step up! I proposed.
Ross: But I-I was going to see if yknow, maybe you uh, start dating again but thatI mean that-that was all, Rach.
Ross: Hey, Im not going to rush into anything!
Joey: I cant believe youre not going to propose!
Joey: Oh yeah, dude, I totally understand. Usually after I have a baby with a woman I like to slow things down!
Joey: Im gonna take that book and beat you to death with it.
Rachel: I am so sick of guys. I don't want to look at another guy, I don't want to think about another guy, I don't even want to be near another guy. (Ross crosses arms)
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, no, I dont, I dont know. But, y'know what, maybe its just all for the best?
Rachel: I know. I know. Ive feeling
Tim: Awww, Ill miss you too Pheebs. (Starts to leave) And I will be holding you, right here. (Holds his hands over his heart, blows a kiss to Phoebe who catches it, and then leaves and Phoebe throws the kiss back.)
Rachel: Im sorry, what?
The Director: Stop!! Stop it! You must stop! You are bad actors! This is a terrible play! Ill see you in the morning. (exits)
Ross: well then I didn't need to bother you or the four other Mike Hanagens I bothered.
Phoebe: All right, all right, well just do our best. Okay? So lets say Im the interviewer and Im meeting you for the first time. Okay. "Hi! Come on in, Im uh, Regina Philange."
Rachel: WellReally? I thought Chandler was your best friend.
Rachel: Okay you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional, I would have said yes to anybody. Like that time you and I got married! (Pause) Im not helping.
Joey: (Enters) Hey you guys Im gonna take off. I just wanted to let you guys know, say goodbye.
Ross: So when I came in here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again, you were engaged to my best friend.
Chandler: Hi! Im Dorf! Youre date for the evening. (Monica walks away in disgust) Oh come on! Dorf on dating, thats good stuff!!
Monica: (on phone) Michelle, I only beeped in so I could hear my message. I mean that's allowed. Yeah-huh! I mean look, yeah, you know what I would really appreciate it if you didn't tell your Dad about. What do you mean, you're not comfortable with this? Come on we're friends!! (Michelle hangs up) That bitch always hated me. I'm calling her back.
Rachel: Yeah, Im not so sure you should be here when he comes up.
Joey: Thats not fair! I cant do that.
Monica: Nothing. (She backs away a little bit but is still in his arms and looks up at his eyes.) I dont knUmm. I dont know. Umm
Ross: (enters from the bed room) Okay I put most of the stuff away.
Phoebe: Oh. Okay, well I-I was kinda hoping that I would just be alone yknow to think about my mom and her suicide.
Joey: Anyway, I started working on what Im going to say for the ceremony, do you wanna hear it?
Ross: Please take your time, its an important decision. Not like, say, I know! deciding to marry someone, this is about a muffin.
Joey: No, I-I just heard lunch. But yeah, I can go. Sure! (They all exit.)
Phoebe: I can say I told you so but shes kinda doing that for me.
Rachel: Yeah, Im not so sure.
Monica: Oh my god, I am losing my mind.
Gunther: So I guess Rachel had you baby?
Chandler: Yeah, Im gonna pass. Cause I was kinda iffy when it was puppies.
Ross: No I dont.
RACHEL: Mom, would you relax. That was 10 blocks from here and, the, the woman was walking alone at night, I would never do that. Mom, c'mon, stop worrying. This is a safe street, this is a safe building, there's nothing [a pigeon flies in the window and lands on the table] OH MY GOOOD, oh my God, oh I gotta go, I gotta go, I gotta go. [hangs up] OK, that's fine, you just read the paper, I'm gonna get a pot, it's not for you. [grabs a pot and lid] OK, that's fine, read the Family Circus, enjoy the gentle comedy. [puts pot over the pigeon] Aaahh, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, aaaaahh. [knock at the door] It's open you guys.
Joey: No, look, I dont know what else to do. I said Im sorry!
Ross: Im gonna go.
Pete: Look, forget the check, okay. (rips up the check) I like you. I think youre great. Come on, what do you say?
Joey: I said I didnt technically.
Ross: Joe Im not kidding
Joey: Im sorry! It was a reflex!
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Monica: I know, thats why I said again!
Chandler: Oh thats all right, I have it memorized. Its 1A.
Phoebe: Oh Im kinda part of this.
Chandler: Monica can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Ross: Yknow what? I dont like you without mom. (To Joey) Come on. (Walks away.)
Phoebe: I knew I should have married Chandler.
Ross: Ah, the lesser-known "I don't have a dream" speech.
Monica: Chandler, I dont even wanna see the musical Oklahoma!
Joey: Yeah, just a crush! Thats all this is! Its a crush! Im Joey; I dont get deep feelings.
Monica: I promise. Hey, speaking of together, how about we send out a holiday card this year?
Ms. McKenna: Chandler, I
Ross: I broke my thumb.
Ross: Ah, Rachel I guess.
Ross: Well, I thought so too, but then she said shed marry you.
Ross: I dont think that we are.
Ross: So I dont wanna be just anybody.
Rachel: Yeah, I guess. I-I I mean, do-do you think were ever gonna have that?
Joey: Ohh, well, thats ok then. But, okay my towels for instance. I come in to the bathroom here and my towel is not on the floor where keep it. Its up here on some hook..and smells different.
Phoebe: Alright, Ill try, fine! Yes, Okay!
Rachel: Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle.
Phoebe: I have to go scream into a pillow. (Goes to scream into a pillow)