words in movies
Ross: Okay! Okay! Fine, Ill stop! No teaching, okay? Well just watch the pretty light streaking across the sky. (Comets dont streak across the sky, meteors do.) Okay? Whos official name is Bapstein-King.
Tag: Hey, I wonder if you can see my apartment from up here.
Rachel: Oh I dont-I dont know.
Monica: Okay, weve been out here for two hours and we havent seen any stupid comets. Can we go now? I mean, Chandlers getting chilly. (She walks over to where Chandler is bundled up in a big coat and shivering.)
Chandler: (with a quivering voice) No, Im not!
Rachel: Yeah actually, I think were gonna take off too. We rented a movie.
Phoebe: Oh! I wont say, no to a movie!
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
Joey: (annoyed) I dont know! (Goes back to looking through the pipe.) (Pause) Yeah, I do.
Chandler: I know, just quick-quick question, quick question. Which one was Deep Impact and which one was Armageddon?
Chandler: Sorry, I just cant sleep. Ooh! (Turns on the light and Monica groans.) Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I look at that cover Im like (Fake snores.)
Phoebe: (crossing her fingers and closing her eyes) Please dont be a space ship. Please dont be a space ship. (She turns on the light and looks around and finds that its the smoke detector thats beeping.) Oh thank God! (She moves a chair over and starts to investigate how to make the beeping turn off, in frustration she yanks the thing off of the wall. She sets it down and heads for bed, just as she gets there it beeps again. She opens the cover and removes the battery, but it still beeps.) How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can
Ross: I cant believe this!!
Joey: All right well, yknow I guess we know what we have to do to get down.
Ross: (standing at the edge of the roof) Yeah, I guess we dont have a choice. (Screaming to the street) Help us! Please help us! Were stuck up on the roof and we cant get down!!!
Joey: Ross. I was thinking we could just go down the fire escape. (Points it out.)
Ross: (To Joey) I know, I wasnt finished. (Joey motions him to finish.) (Yelling at the street) But dont worry! Were gonna go down the fire escape!!
Chandler: Shhhhhhhhh!!! (Monica enters) Im sorry, I thought maybe Id make some warm milk and it would help me sleep.
Monica: With a wok? (Chandlers holding a wok.) I thought you were going to read my boring book to put you asleep.
Monica: Here, let me make the milk, Im up anyway.
Chandler: (Pause) No. No, I-I was, I was talking about the book I was reading.
Rachel: No seriously, yknow the contracts I gave you, did you overnight them?
Rachel: Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I dont get.
Rachel: Yknow, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? (He starts laughing.) Tag! Im serious! This isnt funny! Those contracts absolutely had to go out today!
Tag: Rach, Im sorry, but you didnt give me any contracts!
Rachel: Yes I did! And I put a little Post-It on it that said, "Must go out today," and underlined today three times and, and then I put a little heart in the corner because I didnt want to seem to bossy.
Tag: Im telling you, you never gave them to me.
Tag: No, I would see you looking embarrassed because they are not on my desk!
Tag: Okay I understand. (Sits down.) I wouldnt want to be proved wrong either.
Joey: Oh whoa-whoa wait a minute! I have to do it?!
Joey: What if I smack my head on the concrete?
Ross: Well, Im gonna lie to you Joey, its a possibility.
Joey: (looks at the ground and at Ross) I dont know Ross! I-I tell you what, lets flip to see who does it, okay? You-you call it in the air, all right?
Joey: What? No! No Ross! No-no! Stop! Im not jumping! Okay, look I have an audition tomorrow and I cant go if I break my leg.
Ross: Well Im jumping! I have a son! Okay? He wont have a father if-if I die!
Phoebe: Okay. So, this wire is connected to this wire which plugs into here. (She points at each as she says it.) Okay so, to get the beeping to stop all I have to do (She picks up a shoe and proceeds to pummel the smoke detector. She then gets up and heads to bed, stops, quickly turns around, and is satisfied that the beeping has stopped.) Well done, Pheebs. (She resumes her trek to bed, but is stopped at the entrance to the hallway by the now steady and extremely loud tone emanating from the smoke detector.) (Yelling.) What do you want from me?!!!!!!!
Monica: Ohh! Ohhhh! Were you sleeping sweetie? Im sorry. Here. (Hands the mug of milk to him.)
Tag: Okay! Feel free to look, but Im telling you those contracts are not on this desk.
Rachel: Oh how can you possibly know? Look at this mess, Tag! I mean, this is what Im talking about! You have to be organized! Youve got newspapers! Youve got magazines! You gotOhh! (Finds a picture.) And who is this chippy? A little young for you Tag, but whatever.
Rachel: In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it (Looks down onto her desk and finds the folder with the Post-It on it that contains the contracts she imagined she gave Tag) that said, "Must go out today." So you just keep looking in there! All right?
Tag: How could I have left them in the copy room?
Rachel: I dont know Tag! How can your genitals make phone calls? Okay? Its not a perfect world! Just go please.
Rachel: Thank you. (He leaves and she proceeds to plant the folder in his bottom drawer. She then picks up the phone and holds it to her breasts.) Hello? (Hangs up the phone.) I still dont get it.
Chandler: (intrigued) Yeah? (Monica nods yes.) I hope youre not thinking about cleaning the living room.
Joey: Man, Im starving! What the hell was I thinking at dinner?! "Do you want soup or salad?" Both! Always order both!
Ross: (looking in the window behind them) Yknow, yknow Im lookin and I dont think anyones home here. I say we just break the window, crawl through, and-and yknow explain later.
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
Phoebe: Okay, this is where you and I part ways. (She drops the blanket into the chute.) Noisy bitch!
Chandler: I was giving you some of my best moves, and you missed it. So please wake up so we can do it right!
Monica: Okay. Okay, Im ready. Come on big fella!
Chandler: Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
Monica: Okay, Im up! Im up!
Rachel: Hi! I got you some coffee. To, uh (She looks for a place to set it on his messy desk and he clears a spot for her to set it down.) fair enough. So! Do you got anything for me?
Rachel: Well yeah, I wish that you would. (He opens the top drawer.) Well, no its not in there! (Closes it.) How about that drawer? (She points to the bottom one and he opens it. She doesnt see the folder she planted and bends over to check.)
Rachel: (thinks) Yknow, I dont-I dont know. Let me, let me check. (As she heads for her office, she stops glances over her should at Tag, looks into her office, and finds the folder on her desk.)
Rachel: Can I see you in my office for a minute?
Tag: (entering) Yeah? (She holds up the folder) You found them!! (Rachel is not amused, because shes still going to try to blame him for her mistake like every good boss.) Yknow what? Im not even going to gloat. Im just really relived this whole thing is over.
Tag: I did not!
Rachel: Oh really? So youre saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think Dogbert should have a line here.)
Rachel: (pause as she realizes her lame attempt to shift the blame has failed) I am so hot for you right now.
Phoebe: (scared) Fire alarm? (She opens the door to reveal a fireman holding the blanket with the smoke detector.) Oh! Hi, officerfireman, can-can I help you?
Phoebe: Okay do youOkay, do you have a search warrant? Because the last time I checked this was still America!
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Ross: Okay, Im going to start climb down you now.
Ross: Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so were face to face or-or should I climb down your back so were-were butt to face.
Joey: I think face to face.
Ross: I would say that.
Ross: Okay, here I go.
Ross: I prefer not to answer that right now, Im still carrying a little holiday weight.
Joey: Yknow, when we talked about face to face, I dont think we thought it all the way through.
Ross: (looking down) M-maybe I should hang and you can climb down me.
Joey: Ross, you should know that my pants are startin to come down and Im not wearing any underwear!
Ross: Oww!! My ankle! I really hurt my ankle! I think I twisted it when IOoh, a quarter!
Chandler: Hm-hmm, I told you! (Looks at the clock) I cant believe that Ive only got two hours before I call in sick for work.
Monica: I have to be up in seven minutes.
Monica: Okay! You get the vacuum cleaner and Ill get the furniture polish!
Joey: Uhh, Ms. Phalange, may I ask you a question as an impartial person at-at this table?
Ross: Well, of course you can defend yourself from an attack you know is coming, thats not enough. Look, I studying kara-tay for a long time, and theres a concept you should really be familiar with. Its what the Japanese call (he holds two fingers up to his temple, and he does this every time he says this word) unagi.
Chandler: Yes, but I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. A pack. Two pack�a�a carton. Three big fat cartons in two days. (How many cigarettes are there in one pack and how many packs in one carton in the US?) But it�s over, I made a decision, I�m not gonna smoke anymore.
Chandler: Yes, I know, as it happens my room is very very close to the parade route.
Phoebe Sr: I mean, I know what Im talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. (Phoebe is playing with the puppy again, and not listening) I really shouldnt have given you the puppy first.
Joey: Terrible! I messed up every line! I shouldnt even be an actor!
Ross: No, she likes that. Yeah. Faking sleep doesnt work either, I cant tell you how many mornings I woke up with her...
Phoebe: All right, that makes sense. (Starts towards the door.) Ugh. ButScrew you Im going first! (She grabs her purse and runs out.)
Rachel: Oh, what is wrong with me lately? I mean its like every guy I seeI mean look here. (Points behind them) Look at that guy for example, I mean normally thats not someone I would-would be attracted to, but right now, with the way Im feeling, all I want to do is rip off his sweatpants and fanny pack.
Ross: Well, with everything thats been going on lately, I havent exactly been the perfect boyfriend. You know, I, uh, I didnt tell her I got Rachel pregnant. I gave her a key to my apartment, and then had the locks changed! And then I lied to her about Rachel moving in with me. In a way, I actually judge her for not breaking up with me sooner, you know?
Rachel: Dont say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross whats in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the museum from the first time we were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
Phoebe: Oh! No problem! I (Cassie emerges from the bathroom and we once again visit slow motion Barry White background music land with the sexy hair-flipping thing going on, only this time Phoebe is entranced. For more information on Denise Richards you can visit your local library or look her up on the Internet at her official website at www.deniserichards.com.)
Chandler: Come on! I was there! (He's propped up with his hand on a statute of a naked guy. He winces and pulls his hand away.) I know he's the love of your life.
Phoebe: Well okay but I have two tickets to the ballroom dance finals. (She holds up the tickets that Kyle gave her.)
Rachel: No, no, trust, me, it's, it's, it's much better that I know. Uh, I just liked it better before it was better...
Ross: I was up all night writing this really nasty letter to Emily! It was perfect and now it's all covered in-in (The duck quacks.) Actually, thanks!
Monica: Okay, fine I admit it! I feel terrible! Would you please rub this on my chest? (She hands him some of that Vicks Vap-O-Rub to put on.)
Rachel: ...And so then I realized. All this stuff I had been doing. proposing to Joshua, lying to Ross about why I couldnt come to the wedding. Was all just a way of...
Phoebe: Not great, but we can work on it at lunch. Okay, I can be at your apartment in two hours.
Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry>
Monica: What is it with you people! I mean, the minute you start to feel something, you have to run away?
Rachel: Barry, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about what I said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't... it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi, machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is going to be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's not me. And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just have to give me a chance too... (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)
Joey: Ross and I were helping the girls pack, took a little break, I lost $1,500 to him in Cups!
Rachel: You know what, Im gonna do that, Im gonna call him up, and Im gonna ask him out. I can do that. Ask him out. (Practising) How you doin? (Calls him) Hi! Joshua? Its Rachel Green from Bloomingdales. (Listens) Yeah, umm, I was wondering if you umm, if you umm, left your wallet at the store today? Well, we found a wallet, and we(Listens) the license? Well, that is a good idea! Uh, well, lets see here this says this license belongs to a uh, uh, belongs to a mister uh, Pheebs, and umm, yeah, so sorry to bother you at home. Ill see you tomorrow. Bye. (Hangs up) (to Phoebe) Youve done that a thousand times?
Ross: Well sure. But I get married all the time so
JOEY: Yeah, there's just one thing that might be kind've a problem. See, I, uh, had to kiss this guy.
Joey: Dude, I screwed up, you dont have to turn me in!
Joey: Yeah, I gotta go! I got an acting job. (Turns towards the door, pauses, and turns back.) Like youd believe that. This sucks!
Emily: I mean, we know its a bit hasty but, uh, it just feels so right, so
Rachel: (thinks about it for a second) No! Ross, come on! No! Listen, look I thought a lot about how to tell you this and the bottom line, Ross, is we can not stay married.
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Chandler: Oh Im sorry! Do you need a break?
Ross: No! No! LookHey, enough is enough! Look, I am sorry that you feel guilty or whatever about spending time with your new mom, but this is not your old mom. This is a cat! Okay, Julio the cat! Not mom! Cat!
Chandler: I'm sorry. Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. And then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses, wich, by the way, none of you have invited me to.
Chandler: (to Monica) No, I think we're just blurry shapes to him now.
Joey: I know. And shes so sweet. I just wanna feed her grapes and brush her hair.
Chandler: Im sorry, were just kinda excited because we finally have a couple to hang out with.
Monica: You know what? This has been kind of a girlie day. Youre right, Im sorry.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess they had a fight, and he got drunk....
Rachel: Hey, yknow, at least you have somebody to miss that stuff with! I hate being alone this time of year! Next thing you know itll be Valentines Day, then my birthday, then bang!before you know it, theyre lighting that damn tree again. Ohh, I want somebody! (hearing this, Gunther moves in) Yknow, I want a man!! (Gunther leaves depressed) I mean, it doesnt even have to be a big relationship, yknow, just like a fling would be great.
Chandler: Yes, and I get my ya-yas from Ikea. You have to put them together yourself, but they cost a little less.
Ross: (To Chandler) Yknow what? Actually Im kinda glad theyre leaving cause uh, I need to talk to you about something.
David: Yeah, I Well I really actually wanted to say umm, that, but um, I figured I probably shouldnt because yknow, I have to leave.
Young Ethan: Well it's somewhere in between. You see, in a strictly technical sense, of course, I'm not uh..., well I, I mean I haven't ever uh...
Chandler: Well, y'know, I had some trouble with it at first too, but the way I look at it is, I get all the good stuff: all the fun, all the talking, all the sex; and none of the responsibility. I mean, this is every guy's fantasy!
Ross: It was hard... I remember... I was in my bedroom... playing with my dinosaurs... playing and learning... and my father walks in and says... he says... "What are you doing with those things? What's wrong with you, why aren't you... why aren't you outside playing like a... like a real boy?
Rachel: Ooh, do I sense a little bit of resentment?
Rachel: Okay, yknow what?! I know-I know how to settle this! All right here, this is what were gonna do! Im gonna write Joey on one napkin (does so) and Im gonna right Ross on the other napkin (does so) and we are going to pick one! And that person is going to be our backup! Okay?
Phoebe: Oh! Oh, I can't believe it! I mean I think it's great! For him. She might be able to do better.
Monica: Its okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it.
Malcom: See that's just something I said now, so that maybe I could kiss you.
Joey: Are you kidding? Phoebe, I would be honored. (they hug)
FBOB: OK, now before I go, does anybody else need to be picked up? [everyone raises their hands] I'm still gonna go.
Ross: This is unbelievable. I - I have never been so insulted in my life. Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way.
Chandler: Because, I-I shouldve called! Yknow if I had just called her after our big, stupid fight, she never wouldve gone out with Nick, and they wouldve ended up in bed together. I threw her at his man nipples!
Joey: Wait a minute. That sounds a little familiar! Did they already do that one? Cause I think I read it!
Monica: Okay then, I dont stink. Im a good chef. Okay. (Starts to leave.)
Phoebe: Oh, its incredible! I so want to be a Waxine girl.
CHAN: No, I don't even think he knew. Hey, would you sleep with somebody to get a great job?
Ross: (loudly so that everyone can hear) Hey lady! I don't care how much you want it! Okay?! I am not gonna to have sex with you in the bathroom! (Rachel sinks lower on her chair trying to hide.)
Phoebe: Good. It's just so hard, it's hard for me to ... let them go. I guess it just brings back memories, you know, from ... when I gave birth to my brother's triplets and I had to give them up. (Mike is shocked) I haven't told you about that yet, have I?
Rachel: Funny, because I was just gonna go across the hall and write that on Chandler.
Monica: This would be a beautiful place to get married, yeah, but I wouldnt put the aisle there and I would never have the ceremony there! (Points to both places.) I mean youd have the ceremony under this big beautiful arch. (The arch at the entrance to the room.)
Rachel: Because youre not finished yet and I wont have it! Greens do not quit!
Richard: No its not too soon, I had lunch at a eleven.
JOEY: Come on, Chandler, I want this part soo much. (Chandler ignores him) Just one kiss, I won't tell anyone.
Chandler: Yeah, can I get a 3-piece, some cole slaw, some beans, and a Coke(Yelps in pain as Monica grabs him underwater)Diet Coke.
Monica: No, I don't think it ever works. Why?
Rachel: Chandler! Patrick just uh, ended things with me. Did you or did you not tell him that I was looking for a serious relationship?
Monica: I guess I set up the video camera to try and entice Joey.
Joey: Yeah! I stayed at Kates, but ah, nothing happened. Hey, Pheebs, where were ya?
Frank: Its out there man! Ive seen it! I got it!!
Ross: Yknow I dont understand why they didnt cry. It was a beautiful speech.
Phoebe: Okay but look! Look at what I got! Its her address book! (Holds it up.) We have a guest list!
Phoebe: I thought I was going home to go to bed, but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here.
Rachel: I am still talking!! And then you chase away the one guy that I actually liked! I mean, no offense to you guys. Really! I mean (To Patrick) congratulations on all the cash, (He nods) and-and yknow(Feels Eldads hair)Wow! You do have very soft hair! But I would much rather go to the ball all by myself than go through anymore of this! Good-bye! (Grabs her stuff, starts to leave, then turns back suddenly, and to Eldad) Now do you use some sort of special conditioner on that hair?!
Phoebe: Well, if you must know I have written 14 books. And as I am the only one who has read them, I can tell you that they all have been very well received.
Monica: Chandler In all my life I never thought I would be so lucky. (Starting to cry.) As to fall in love with my best my best Theres a reason why girls dont do this!
Joey: All right, well maybe Im enjoying it a little bit. I mean Im getting pretty good at it.
Rachel: Y'know if what I do is so lame, then why did you insist on coming with me this morning? Huh? Was it so I just wouldnt go with Mark?
JOEY: Hey, Monica, the knob was broken so I just turned it off from underneath, I hope that's alright.
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
Tim: Last time I saw you, it was the morning I left for college. And you were just standing outside The Dairy Queen.
Monica: No, you�re right. Mnya, we shouldn�t do it like this. Huch. For what it�s worth, I�m, I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have come down on you so hard about the smoking. So you had a few cigarettes, not the end of the world.
RACHEL: Ok, here, I know what we can do. [grabs Joey's sadwich and throws it out the window]
Joey: No! Forget it! OkayI mean thanks, but Im done taking money from you. All right, I can take of myself. Now, whats next? Come on.
Rachel: So I thought Joey and I would be okay once we hung out, but its not even like we know how to be with each other anymore.
MNCA: Yes, I would like something. [looks at Fun Bobby, changes her mind] No, no thank you.
Estelle: What can I say? She nailed it.
Phoebe: Oh I do! (She grabs her huge purse and starts rummaging through it and taking out various items in a futile search for the gum.) Oh, yknow what? No. (Pause) Wait a second. (She removes a bag filled with water that has a goldfish swimming in it.) I know its in here somewhere.
Joanna: Rachel, I need the Versachi invoice. (to Chandler) Hello! You dont work for me.
Chandler: Well, no, actually she uh, asked me if I wanted to get a drink.
PHOEBE: I can see that. A plate of brownies once told me a limerick.
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Ross: If you have to call me name, I prefer "Ross the Divorcer". It's just cooler. Look, I know my marriage isn't exactly work out. But I love to be that committed to another person. And Carol had some good times before she became a lesbian... and once afterward. I'm sorry.
Rachel: I am so proud of Joey, I can't believe he's going to be on Law & Order!
Rachel: I am sorry! Again... I don't know, I don’t know what happened, I must be nervous!
Chandler: I don't think of her that way, you know, she's a, she's a colleague.
Monica: That�s right, because I forbid you to smoke again.
CHANDLER: Oh, see, I had to tell her that my number was your number, because I couldn't tell her that my number was my number because she thinks that my number is Bob's number.