words in movies
Chandler: I tried, but apparantly singing "I will survive" in a helium voice - not helping.
Joey: You damn right I am, I've been waiting for a cookie for 7 minutes.
Chandler: Are you kidding? If I wasn't married she'd be rejecting me right now.
Rachel: Am I the only one who doesn't think that she's hot? Ross?
Ross: Eh, I mean, I mena she's not unattractive but hot? I ....
Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands)
Mike: OK, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I think I just saw a rat in your cupboard.
Phoebe: Well not so much a pet as, you know, an occasional visitor who I put food out for, you know. Kinda like Santa. Except Santa doesn't poop on the plate of cookies.
Mike: I don't know but they don't sound like spa treatments. You have to get rid of it!
Rachel: Gavin, I just wanted to say thank you again for watching Emma yesterday during the presentation. I really owe you an appology.
Rachel: Well, when we first met, you know, I thought you were pompous and arrogant and obnoxious ...
Rachel: No, I just mean that, you know, first impressions don't mean anything. And I-I think you're a really good guy and I'm sorry that I misjudged you.
Rachel: Hello. (to Gavin) But you know what, hey, new day, new leaf, I am just really really happy ... (sees Gavin staring at Heather) I'm sorry, obviously Heather's ass has something more important to say so I'll just wait 'till it's finished.
Rachel: I was giving you an appology and you were totally checking her out!
Gavin: I wasn't checking her out. I'm in fashion, I was looking at her skirt. Or was it pants? I didn't really see what happened below the ass area.
Gavin: Why do you even care if I was looking at her? Are you jealous?
Rachel: Oh yeah, I'm jealous. "Oh Gavin, please, please look at my ass". (Gavin starts looking) Stop looking at my ass! I mean, I just think you are totally inappropriate, ok? This is a work environment, she's your subordinate.
Gavin: I thought it was ok when you slept with your old assistant Tag.
Rachel: That is totally different for two reasons. One - I didn't know that you knew that. And two, I wasn't some creep staring at his ass, we had a deap meaningful relationship.
Joey: Man, I wish I had a nanny like you.
Chandler: I wasn't staring. I was leering.
Ross: Yeah, obvious beauty's the worst. You know, when it's right there in your face. Me, I like to have to work to find someone attractive. Makes me feel like I earned it.
Ross: Ok, I'll be home right after work. Ok, by Emma-Wemma-Demma, I love you - wovyou dovyou ...
Molly: I think it's sweet. (goes to leave)
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her.
Rachel: Because it took us months to find a good nanny and I wouldn't want anything to, you know, drive her away.
Joey: Oh, man, why did have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't have it makes me want her even more!
Phoebe: No, Mike, I don't want to kill him! I thought we were just gonna capture him and, and you know, set him free in the country side where he can maybe meet a friendly possom and a wisecracking owl.
Phoebe: I'll find Bob, I'll get him. Bob? (starts looking) Bob! Robert! (looks at cabinet under sink) Oh wait, I think I hear him. Oh - Oh my god! Bob had babies! Bob's a mom!
Phoebe: I don't know, I kinda like Bob for a girl.
Mike: I don't know, I mean I'm not sure (they hear cracking voice from somewhere else in the kitchen, probably a rat caught in a trap) ...
Chandler: Is this really your long term plan, for me to run interference? Because I could get a job any day now.
Chandler: Allright, fine, but don't blame me if it doesn't work. Because you know as well as I do that once Joey sets his mind on something, more often than not, he's going to have sex with it.
Ross: I am, yes.
Chandler: Oh. You mind if I join you?
Joey: Actually, that will be long. You know, I really need to organize my thoughts.
Joey: Allright, fine, I only have one thought! It's about the hot nanny, I gotta see her!
Chandler: I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Joe.
Joey: Now YOU'RE telling me I can't see her?? You guys are killing me! She's forbidden fruit! It's like ... like she's the princess and I'm the stable boy ... Why are you doing this, huh? Did Ross tell you not to let me go over there?
Chandler: Yes, as a matter of fact he did, so I can't let you go.
Rachel: Rachel Green's office!! Give me that phone! (takes the phone) Hello, this is Rachel Green, how can I help you? Uh huh ... ok then ... I'll pass you back to your son (gives phone to Gavin)
Rachel: Um, excuse me Gavin, I have a question I need to ask you.
Gavin: Thank god you finally said that, I saw you make a note on your pad three hours ago. (Rachel throws away that paper) Man, I really bug you, don't I?
Rachel: Oh, please, I don't care about you enough to bug me. In fact, from now on, I'm going take the high road. And I'm going be very very nice to you, you "momma's boy", starting right now.
Rachel: Yeah I am, I am! Oh, but first of all, Monica, I would like to introduce you to my very talented colleage and more importantly my wonderful friend Gavin Mitchelle.
Gavin: Well I don't mind, I'll cancel. I would never miss my secretary's birthday. (leaves)
Rachel: Why did you invite him?? I can't stand that guy!
Rachel: I was faking it! Can't you tell when I'm being fake?
Rachel: (to Monica) I still can't believe you invited Gavin. Allright, he is the last person I want to see.
Rachel: God, I hope he doesn't show up. Of course he's not gonna show up, the guy hates me.
Joey: Hey Rach, so can I sing happy birthday to you now?
Phoebe: I had to bring them! We killed their mother, they're our responsibility now. You know, they require constant care. You should know that, Rachel, you're a mother.
Phoebe: No! Seven rats! I think we should take them home, we need feed them.
Ross: Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.
Chandler: (In a helium voice, holding a balloon) I'm sorry, I got a little occupied.
Joey: Oh, I didn't go to college.
Joey: No ... the leather sticks to my ass. You know, this isn't fair. What makes you think that I'm just gonna sleep with her and then blow her off? Huh? Can't you guys open your minds to the possibility that I actally like her, and might want something real? (pause) Look, the truth is, I haven't felt this way about anyone since Rachel, ok? I didn't think I could ever love again.
Ross: Ok ... (they leave the room, long pause) Well, uh, Joey, I guess we have no problem.
Phoebe: Ok, ok, you start preparing the formula and I start changing the box and then we gotta put them straight to bed.
Phoebe: No. (opens the box) wh - get off your sister! Oh my god, what are we gonna do? We have 7 rats. So what if each of them has 7 rats? And then each of those have 7 rats? That's like ... (starts counting with her fingers) That's math I can't even do! What are we gonna do?
Mike: Well, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but, we could not let the box of rats ruin our lives.
Phoebe: Yeah, ok. I guess you're right. Allright, so we should just give them away. But to nice families, with children, and reduced fat wheat thins. They're Bob's favorites.
Mike: No, I think you're sweet.
Phoebe: Good. It's just so hard, it's hard for me to ... let them go. I guess it just brings back memories, you know, from ... when I gave birth to my brother's triplets and I had to give them up. (Mike is shocked) I haven't told you about that yet, have I?
Rachel: Hi. Thanks for the party, honey. Should I help you clean up?
Monica: No way! You had your party, now I have mine! Is everything alright?
Rachel: Yeah, I just get a little bummed when my birthday's over.
Gavin: Well, let me explain how birthday parties usually work. There are presents, and a cake, perhaps a fourth or fifth person. Ok, I ... got you the present to make up for being such a jerk to you earlier.
Gavin: I really mean it.
Gavin: I do have feelings for you.
Gavin: Yes, I feel that you are a little annoying.
Chandler: (sings in a helium voice) First I was afraid, I was petrified (very happy)
Phoebe: Listen, I think I've left something here.
Phoebe: (likes the jacket) No, but I like it. I think I left one of my rat babies.
Chandler: Oh, uh, well, I haven't seem it but if I do I'll let you know.
Ross: I dont know. I mean I-I guess I could. Its just that we didnt really end things such good terms. And if I go over there Id be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do when we broke up, jump up my own ass and die. (Walks away.)
Rachel: I am so on board! (She throws away her recently lit cigarette.)
Don: Uh, not really. But when it comes to cheese, Im one of the people who thinks the smellier the better.
Rachel: Mon you definitely have to make it a theme wedding, and the theme could be, Look how much money weve got! Y'know, I mean you could put, you could put money in-in the invitations! You-you could have like little money place settings. And ah, you could start with a money salad! I mean itll be dry, but people will like it.
Joey: Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
Chandler: And, I want you to remember that I gave you twenty (counts his money) seven dollars. No strings attached. Now, if you can't remember that, I think we should write it downlet's write it down!
Ross: Look, Rachel, this is poker. I play to win, alright? In order for me to win, other people have to lose. So if you're gonna play poker with me, don't expect me to be a 'nice guy,' OK? Cause once those cards are dealt... (claps hands three times)
Rachel: Its good. Except he makes us watch the Discovery Channel all day long. Did you know that something really boring happened to someone really ugly in the Middle Ages? (to the waitress handing her a cup of coffee) Oh, thank you. Ill see you guys later.
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
Chandler: Look, I figured I would try to convince him not to tell the story anymore, and I figure the best way to do that is face to faceAnd by face I dont mean his lap. And by face, I dont mean my ass. (Exits.)
Phoebe: (getting up) Oh, for god�s sake, Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! (everybody scared) I�m sorry, was that rude? Di-did my, my li-little outburst blunt (?) the hideousness (?) that is this evening? Look, I know, you all have a lot going on, but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday. And you are all so late and you didn�t even have the courtesy to call. (her cellular rings) Well, it�s too late now.
Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?
Phoebe: Oh, no umm, hi, that-that, you have to put that out, cause Im pregnant.
Phoebe: I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright.
Joey: I didnt know it was an auction!
Rachel: I don't know, I mean, this is just my initial gut feeling... but I'm thinking... oh, I'm thinking it'd be really great.
Joey: (he goes out calling her) Don't move! Don't go! I need you! My audition is tomorrow! Shah blue blah! Me lah peeh! Ombrah! (he gives up). Pooh.
Joey: I could teach you a speech that I memorized for auditions.
Kathy: Yeah, I do. Of course, I learned at my aunts dog grooming shop, but hey, what do you say?
Monica: And-and-and if I die, from a long illness. And youre writing out my eulogy and you open a desk drawer and you find a note from me that says, "I will always be with you," and you still cant shed one tiny tear, I know youll be crying a river inside.
Cop: (following her) Hey by the way, I'm sure Sipowicz is gonna be all right. I heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good. (Phoebe's stunned) And where did you find my badge?
Monica: Lewis Posin! He was my best friend in fifth grade, and-and then one day I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no. Do you know why?
PHOE: Yeah, so I said, "OK, relax please," y'know, I mean, sex can be just about two people right there in the moment, y'know, it's, if he wants to see me again he can call and if not, that's fine too. So after a looooot of talking. . . I convinced him.
Joey: Well I dont like to say it out loud, but, yeah! Dont feel bad man, we all have our strengths. Youre better with numbers and stuff.
Ursula: Yeah, I can talk them into giving you like, 30 dollars.
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Rachel: I dont wanna hear "Three failed marriages!"
Chandler: No way! If anything youve gotta let me win! My wife thinks Im a wimp!
Monica: (gasps) Ohh, wow! Thats great! (Rachel and Monica hug.) Oh wow! We really have to start planning! I have, I have a lot of really specific ideas! We should probably get together like four times per week. You can come over to my place; well get together before work! What do you say, 6:30, my place? Im so excited! (Runs out leaving Rachel completely stunned and Phoebe laughing.)
Monica: I know. Lets try a look of far off wonderment. Okay, well-well gaze into our future and well think about our marriage and the days to come. (Chandler is still not getting it.) Chandler! What is the matter with your face?! I mean this picture is supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married," not "Local woman saves drowning moron!" (The photographer laughs.) Hey! Dont laugh at him! Hes my drowning moron!
CHAN: Oh, you know, I would, but that might get in the way of my lying around time.
Ross: No, no I don't, because it's being restrung, somebody was supposed to bring me one.
Ross: Damn! I cant believe I took her off my list.
Emily: Oh, well, Ill show you around.
Monica: Uh yeah, I-I actually I thought about you a couple months ago.
Joey: (glances at Richard) No. Nope, I uh I thI thought it might be kind of a cool character thing. Yknow? Hes uh, hes a face toucher. (Behind his back, Richard is nodding no.)
Rachel: Oh, well, that shouldnt be so hard, now that youre dating. (Imitating men at their worst) "Sweetheart, youre fired, but how bout a quickie before I go to work?"
Janice: Mmm-hmm. Because I know that this isn't the end.
Mischa: (to Monica) Oh, hes unbelievable. I mean for the first time in three years somebody wants to actually want to talk to me, but do you think he would let me enjoy that, no!! (to Sergei) You silly diplomat, why dont you learn some English, Sergei?
Monica: Believe me, Chandler and I have not seen each other in over a week. We�ll probably be the first ones there.
Rachel: (to the cowgirl) And you are so in style right now. Yknow, I work at Ralph Lauren and the whole fall line has got this like equestrian theme going on. I dont suppose you saw the cover of British Vogue, but
Chandler: Allright, I'm gonna watch it... I mean look, it's probably not even what I think it is... And even if it is... It can't possibly be as bad as what I'm picturing in my head... (laughs nervously) Can it?
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
MONICA: [Opens the door] I need to borrow a hundred bucks.
Joey: I don't believe this... Have you guys been...
Ross: Well I-I-I, that kind of thing requires some serious thought. First, Ill divide my perspective canidates into catergories....
Phoebe: Well, oh, ok now... Only one of us has to stay with Emma. Ok, and as the person who realized that, I get to go!
Ross: Well, y'know, monogamy can be a, uh, tricky concept. I mean, anthropologically speaking-
Rachel: Listen, my mum is not bringing the baby back until nine o� clock. So I was hoping you and I could have achance to kind of talk� somebody here?
Rachel: He got all weird and sputtery and then he said uh, "Yeah, I hear those hemorrhoids are a bitch."
Ross: You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking "Oh my god, I'm with Rachel". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?
JOEY: Oh come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which.
Joey: Okay. I will. Ohh! Check out what they got me to wear for the ceremony! (Runs to his apartment and returns wearing a rather silly hat.) Huh? I wear it like this when I marry you guys, and then this (He tilts it to the side of his head) is for party time.
Ross: No, no. Shes way to emotional. And by emotional I mean crazy.
Dirk: Oh! Hey well listen, I play a scientist on "Days". And my character has just won the Nobel prize.
Phoebe: Hey! I brought you some house warming gifts.
Ross: Can we, can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along, huh? You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. (gasps) You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest.
David: For me, I have a hard time with le Blanc in particular. When-whenI mean when
Ross: Little louder, okay, I think there's a man on the twelfth floor in a coma that didn't quite hear you...
PHOEBE: Well, I've never had it, I feel so left out. [Sees a red bump on her arm.] Oh look!
Monica: (entering) Oh my God! You are gonna love me so much! I felt really bad about the whole bachelorette party thing, so tonight youre gonna have a bachelor party.
Joanna: Well, this isnt how I was hoping how this would end, but I guess I have to appreciate your honesty.
GUNTHER: That sucks. I was buried in an avalanche.
MONICA: Oh, wait, and I got a beeper!
CHANDLER: Look at this. Pictures of all the women that Heckles went out with. Look what he wrote on them. Vivian, too tall. Madge, big gums. Too loud, too smart, makes noise when she eats. This is, this is me. This is what I do. I'm gonna end up alone, just like he did.
Phoebe: Well, Frank has to quit college because his super fertile sister is having three babies! I need to make a lot of money really fast, and I had an idea that I want to talk to you (Points to Chandler) about, cause you work for a big company. Okay, insider trading, what information is there that you can give me.
Ross: (on the phone) Goodnight sweetheart! I love you. And remember, you're daddy's little girl... (covering the phone, to Rachel) Phoebe's totally ruined that for me... (he passes the receiver to Rachel)
Rachel: I dont know, I dont know. Urrrgh! Look, maybe we should take a break.
Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love...
Joey: No-no-no-no-no, I saw an ad for this video, people climb that thing everyday! We could totally do that!
Joey: So I just talked to one of the DOOL writers today, and
Phoebe: I-I cant find anything that I want to eat! Everything I eat makes me nauseous! Im telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cakeooh! Cake! (Chandler shrugs, and Phoebe grimaces.) No.
Ross: No, but ah, theres coconut in the Hanukkah Menoreoes. I tell you what, Ill put you down for eight boxes, one for each night.
Phoebe: That sucks! That's not a trip! I just came from the park! What are we gonna high five about at the stupid Central Park? "Well, it's right by my house, all right!"
David: I keep a straight face he-he delivers like this look, a reaction to you, or a certain take, I-II mean I find it so funny.
Chandler: (entering) Oh good, okay, I can't take it anymore. I can't take it anymore. So you win, okay? Here! (Hands him the 50 bucks he's about to owe him.) Pheebs? Flying a jet? Better make it a spaceship so that you can get back to your home planet! And Ross, phone call for you today, Tom Jones, he wants his pants back! And Hornswoggle? What are you dating a character from Fraggile Rock?! (He sits down and sighs in relief.)
Ross: I see... Thanks very much. (he gets up and walks to the door. On his way out he looks at the photographs Mr Zelner has near his door. He picks one up.) Is this your son?
Rachel: Phoebe, come on, I don't wanna waste it! It would be like throwing away a hundred bucks!
Ross: Oh, well, er, I already ate, but sure...! (they all look at each other when Ross grabs a plate) Guess what happened at work today...
PHOEBE: No. This whole like playing-for-money thing is so not good for me. You know, I don't know, when I sang "Su-Su-Suicide", I got a dollar seventy-five. But then, "Smelly Cat", I got 25 cents and a condom. So you know, now I just feel really bad for Smelly Cat.
Chandler: And Im blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it, (Imitating her) "Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in the moment."
Steve: I came to talk to you about Howard.
Lizzie: No, no, I ha-I have to give you something.
CHANDLER: Where is she, Where is she? (grabs Rachel) Oh, hey, I have a question, where is she?
Ross: (coming out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee, almost running into Tommy) Oh-ho, whoa! Sorry, Tommy. I almost spilled this hot coffee on you.
Phoebe: Oh down please. (The guy tries to reach the button, but cant.) I-I hate to be a ball buster can I just do it? (She pushes the button.)
Rachel: Not working with me, Joe! Here's the thing: lately I have been having thoughts (pauses) musings, if you will!
Joey: No, no, no, dont get up, I got a cooler right here.
Chandler: Hi, listen, Im sorry about before. I dont need to have a game room. I mean when I was a kid I only played those games because I couldnt get girls, and now I can emNow, I have you. (Monica glares at him.) Not-not that I think that I have you or think of you as property in any sort of way, I see women
Joey: your right! I love my life! (He gets up to go and speak to the girl and he turns back and sits down) I actually did sleep with her.
Ross: (To Rachel) Yeah, I still don't know. (To the salesman who is hovering nearby) I'm sorry I just wanna make sure that I bought the right couch. I need a couch that says, "Kids welcome here." But that also says, (In a sexy voice) "Come here to me!"
Ross: Thats not what this is about okay? I-I am a sports car enthusiast. I have always been into cars.
Janice: Oh, Im sorry honey, Im so, so, (nasally) haaaaa! Im so, so sorry, I just (nasally) haaaaaa! But I, oh what happened was, I-I-I cant breathe. Can you get me a bag, or something?
Marc: I am so sorry. The doctor insisted on closing the curtain for the exam.
Ross: (exhales) I got it. (He lifts the box and grunts under the strain.) (Calmly) So hi, Im uh, Im Ross and this is my friend Chandler. (He shyly waves.)
Phoebe: No, I know! I-Im sorry, but the moment I touch him, I just wanna throw out my old oath and take a new, dirty one.
Monica: (congested) Ugh, they sent me home. They said I cant work if Im sick.
Monica: Phoebe! But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket.
Rachel: Ross is coming over. I think now would be a really good time to talk to him.
Rachel: Ok! Can't believe I'm risking this again, but you're on! All right Joe, you remember the rules! Heads I win, tails you lose.