words in movies
Chandler: Yeah, I don't know why we hang out with married couples more often.
Ross: (entering) Hey, you guys... I have great news.
Ross: Oh, well, er, I already ate, but sure...! (they all look at each other when Ross grabs a plate) Guess what happened at work today...
Ross: Try sixty-five million years ago, and then try sssshhhhhh.... My tenure review board met today and I hear it's looking really good.
Ross: Yeah. Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles, uh? I am gonna get laid.
Rachel: Hey you guys... You're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me.
Joey: (enters) Guess what? (they all look expectantly at him) I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
Monica: I don't know who I'm happiest for...
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Phoebe: What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? Ooh, I like it.
Monica: All right. I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.
Joey: You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN!
Joey: What? No, the only reason I'm going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here.
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Joey: I AM NOT GONNA HELP YOU DO THAT! Goodbye! (he leaves)
Maitre d': I know. With Gukki
Rachel: Wha... My resumé? I wouldn't... I wouldn't call my online dating profile a resumé.
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Clerk: How can I help you?
Phoebe: I need to change my name, please. See, I need to change it because I'm-I'm hiding from the law. (the clerk shows no change in expression whatsoever) You're fun.
Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?
Phoebe: Well, not anything, I mean...
Phoebe: Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.
Phoebe: Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Chandler: You know, I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went better than you think.
Rachel: Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren.
Rachel: Well, my boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview and he heard everything. So later he calls me to his office and he tells me that he's gonna have to let me go, because I'm not a team player. And I said "Wait a minute! Yes I am." and I had to sit there for 45 minutes while he proved that that in fact... was true.
Ross: I guess it's here because I GOT TENURE!
Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. (Gunther leaves, hurt) Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow.
Ross: I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery... Hey Rach, so uh... how did your thing go?
Ross: You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired.
Ross: No seriously. I have job security for life. You know, I never have to worry. (Rachel starts crying) Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me.
Rachel: (crying) No, it's not that. I got fired today. And I didn't get the other job.
Ross: Great. I feel like an idiot.
Joey: Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
Joey: Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason.
Joey: (squinting his eyes) Are you kiddin'? I think I just saw a bat in the corner!
Joey: (glares at him for a moment, then admits grudgingly) Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter.
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Mike: Ah! I missed you
Phoebe: Yes I did! Meet: Princess Consuela Banana Hammock! (She smiles from ear to ear)
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.
Mike: I do love it, and I love your name. I love Princess Consuela.
Phoebe: And I love Crap.
Mackenzie: (sighs) I hate my parents.
Joey: I hate my friends. (They shake on it as if they just made a pact) Alright, look. There's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening.
Mackenzie: I don't have any great ideas. I am eight.
Joey: (frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
Mackenzie: I really don't.
Joey: What am I gonna do, I feel like I'm losing my friends.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I guess.
Joey: (In near tears, realizes she is right) I hate to admit it, but you're probably right. How did you get to be so smart?
Mackenzie: I read a lot.
Joey: (his mood changes instantly) Just when I thought we could be friends. (he leaves the room)
Man: Hey Rach, I just heard. I'm so sorry.
Rachel: (Is embarrassed for a moment, but it quickly passes) Well, now I don't have to. (The man leaves instantly)
Ross: Yeah! yeah, I got tenure! (Mark looks at him strangely and walks off)
Ross: See? I told you something good would come along. And he seemed really nice. I've met him before?
Ross: I hate that guy.
Ross: I'm serious. I just don't trust that guy, okay?
Monica: Oh, I love this street. The trees, the big front yards, the actual picket fences.
Joey: What? I get my own room?
Joey: Oh my God! (they all hug) Oh! Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing?
Phoebe: (without moving her lips, wearing a fake smile) Okay, I will. (to Rita) This is my husband Crap Bag.
Monica: I guess. Why? Who's she with?
Ross: That guy Mark. From Bloomingdale's... She thinks he's just being nice to her. But I know he really wants to sleep with her.
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Monica: So what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single and he's cute.
Chandler: For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents.
Ross: (speaking without pause, agitated) Oh yeah? Yeah? I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want?
Rachel: I know, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren. The money is great...
Ross: Can we, can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along, huh? You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. (gasps) You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest.
Joey: I mean, this soap opera is a great gig, but... am I missing opportunities? You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor. I mean, should I be trying to do more independent movies?
Mackenzie: (at the other end of the line) I don't know... You know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on. (she puts the phone at the bears ear)
Joey: Hey bear, I need some career advice.
Parker: No, no, no wait! Dont tell me. Let me guess. (Points as he says their names) Joey, Monica, Ross, Rachel and, Im sorry Phoebe didnt mention you. (Chandler makes a face) Chandler, Im kidding all ready youre my favorite!
Monica: Can you believe it? I finally get to run my own kitchen!
Phoebe: Okay, is this the day of good news or what? I got us a job! The wedding reception.
Phoebe: (entering) Hey, you guys. Listen, Im sorry that I was hogging the game before(Sees the top ten list)Oh my God! Your friends have some unfortunate initials!
Joey: Thank God! Im exhausted!
Rachel: Oh, I am, my side still hurts from when you crashed into me yesterday.
Joey: Yeah, I know.
Phoebe: I wa-I wa-I wa
Mrs. Lynch: I notice that youve been trusted with a lot of rather important responsibilities.
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
Monica: Thats not even a word! I can get this! I can get this!
Ross: There you go! Good for you! And you know what, I'm actually getting used to this little guy. I don't really even feel him in here anymore.
Joey: No, its okay, but if Im Marge, my breasts are coming out my back.
Mrs. Lynch: I know!
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh, I cannot believe it!
Mrs. Lynch: I didnt realize that she was so close.
Sophie: I sure did! (smiles)
Phoebe: Okay, Im hearing.
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes not even appreciated in his own time. I would give anything to not be appreciated in my own time!
Ross: Im sorry Im late, did I miss anything?
ROSS: Well, I am going to, uh... get a beverage. It was nice, nice... uh... meeting you.
Joey: I call Monicas room!
Chandler: Really?! I didnt think girls ever just wanted a fling.
Ross: (squatting and reading the instructions) I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.
Joey: Well, I know what Im giving you for Christmas.
Joey: (also downtrodden) Yeah, I had to teach Ross my bit because I actually didn't get a callback.
Phoebe: Oh, I'm still mad at them but I also now that they bring happiness to lots of kids who's moms didn't kill themselves, so by supporting them, I'm doing a good thing, but I'm not happy about it. So there, a selfless good deed.
Rachel: I ah Oh! Ill squeeze you fresh orange juice every morning!
Ross: (getting miffed) I suppose.
Joey: Hey, Mon! Im not doing anything, why dont you fire me?
Ross: Im kinda beat.
Joey: Ben, Ben, hey Ben. Nothing. I don't think that's his name.
Joey: All right! Ill try! But if I cant, you can stay with Chandler and I until you get settled.
Phoebe: For what? I cant believe this! I gotta get out of here. (leaves)
Mike: Oh wow! Im free for her!
Chandler: Well, I dont really know what that is, but lets!!
Chandler: All right look, Im changing it to 50 bucks, or your best offer.
Rachel: So, will I like any of these guys?
Rachel: Ohh, I like swimmers bodies!
Monica: You want a problem? Ill give you a problem!
Chandler: Its a big company, I dontif youI
Ross: Like uh, that gold necklace I got her last year.
Ross: You know that girl I told you about who lives up in Poughkeepsie?
Monica: Man, I feel like Im coming down with something.
Joey: I don't get it. What happened? What about everything you said under the bridge?
Chandler: Do you think I work at some kind of boot pricing company?
Chandler: (enters the room wearing an "I love New York" t-shirt, a "Statue of Liberty" hat and carrying bags) New York is awesome!
Allesandro: I want to talk to you about your review.
Monica: Yeah. (to Chandler) I bet you cant guess what color my tonsils are? Ill bet the apartment!
Chandler: Oh, I would never bet this apartment. Its too nice.
Kate: Well, I dont understand why Adriennes attracted to Victor.
Chandler: I thought I broke Joeys chair! Thats why I replaced it with mine!
Chandler: All right, who keeps leaving old newspapers in the trash?! I really wanted to take Kathy to this, I cant believe I missed it.
Joey: Oh, thats, uh, thats Phoebes friends dog. I dont know what his real name is, but I call him Mozzarella.
Joey: That just cost me four bucks. But uh listen, I just called to see how the chick and the duck are doing?
Mrs. Green: Oh, Im so happy Im gonna do this for my little girl. Aw, look at you. You have tears in your eyes.
Chandler: I think somebody has a crush on somebody.
Chandler: Im not Jewish, so
Ross: I wasnt sleeping.
Monica: Used to work with her. Used to! Im a relative and I didnt get invited! A blood relative! Blood!!
ERICA: Oh Drake, you are so talented, let me see those hands. Oh these hands, these beautiful hands, oh I could just eat them. . . but I won't.
Chandler: I know! I know!
Chandler: I did! I absolutely did!
Chandler: Oh, man. Im sorry, Im so-so sorry.
Chandler: Im sure youre right, but why?
Chandler: Great, because my shoes are giving me a little problem on the dance floor, can I borrow the boots from your costume?
Joey: I meant female nudity. Alright? I don't need to see Lou Grant frolicking.
Phoebe: I know but its so hard! Nothing rhymes with your stupid name!
Monica: Well if you want a problem? Ill give you a problem!
Chandler: I can't believe she can out run you man!
Joey: No, I had sex in high school.
Monica: Okay! Very funny! Somebody let me out please?! Come on, Im cold! (She spills something.) And covered in marinara sauce! Come on! Let me out! (the door opens)
Chandler: You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! (To Monica) I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. (Seeing Monica's stare.) (To Joey) Anyway we're talking about your dream. (To Monica) I love you. (To Joey) Your dream? (Leans in to listen closely.)
Monica: Thanks. (Joeys still patting the burn spot) I think you got it!
Susan: Look, I dont see why I should have to miss out on the coaching training just because Im a woman.
Rachel: Well actually thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight. It's been kinda a long day.
Chandler: Well, you-you know what I meant.
Amy: Seriously? Its.. its just these rooms? <moves hands around motioning 'just these rooms'> <To Ross> I thought you were a doctor.
Joey: Let's just say there's a well-dressed pack of dogs in Ohio. Hey Monica listen is-is Phoebe there? I gotta ask her something about the car.
Ross: All right, we have a tie. Luckily, I have prepared for such an event. (He opens up an envelope and holds up some note cards.) The Lightning Round!
Danny: (returning, with a friend) Rachel, this is my friend Tom. (To Tom) This is the girl I told you about.
RACHEL: I know. And Mom, I realize you and Daddy were upset when I didn't marry Barry and get the big house in the suburbs with all the security and everything, but this is just so much better for me, you know?
Monica: I know! I mean its like me and your dad, thats a totally separate thing.
Ross: Well, the stuff I just mentioned.
Phoebe: I know!
Rachel: Wow! I dont know if I could ever do that. I always figured the first time I had a baby was with somebody I love and that baby would be a keeper.
Monica: Yeah, like youre gonna be pregnant. I mean pregnant.
Monica: Hand me those tomatoes, Im gonna show you what it should taste like! Come on, hand me them.
Chandler: (to Rachel) Have I got the 50 guys for you!
Drew: I didnt think you were gay. I do now.
Joey: No, no, no. You actually did that when you were dancing to the Chicago-soundtrack. Look, Ross, about, about Rachel and I. Listen, you don't have to worry about that, okay? Because nothing is gonna happen.
JOEY: Alright, well next time you take a shower, think about the last thing I wash and the first thing you wash.
Phoebe: Im sorry, Im late.
Phoebe Sr: No, I was working on my pottery.
Phoebe: Oh! Ooh! Oh, I didnt know that you did pot.
Ross: And the reason I'm doing this is because I am Joey's friend. And if you were a good friend, you'd be doing the same thing.
Chandler: All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, okay?
Phoebe: Oh no! No-no! I understand the pain! Dont-dont hurt the puppy.
Kitchen Worker: I dont speak English.
Tag: I got asked out twice today when I was at lunch by guys.