words in movies
Chandler: Yeah, I don't know why we hang out with married couples more often.
Ross: (entering) Hey, you guys... I have great news.
Ross: Oh, well, er, I already ate, but sure...! (they all look at each other when Ross grabs a plate) Guess what happened at work today...
Ross: Try sixty-five million years ago, and then try sssshhhhhh.... My tenure review board met today and I hear it's looking really good.
Ross: Yeah. Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles, uh? I am gonna get laid.
Rachel: Hey you guys... You're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me.
Joey: (enters) Guess what? (they all look expectantly at him) I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
Monica: I don't know who I'm happiest for...
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Phoebe: What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? Ooh, I like it.
Monica: All right. I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.
Joey: You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN!
Joey: What? No, the only reason I'm going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here.
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Joey: I AM NOT GONNA HELP YOU DO THAT! Goodbye! (he leaves)
Maitre d': I know. With Gukki
Rachel: Wha... My resumé? I wouldn't... I wouldn't call my online dating profile a resumé.
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Clerk: How can I help you?
Phoebe: I need to change my name, please. See, I need to change it because I'm-I'm hiding from the law. (the clerk shows no change in expression whatsoever) You're fun.
Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?
Phoebe: Well, not anything, I mean...
Phoebe: Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.
Phoebe: Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Chandler: You know, I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went better than you think.
Rachel: Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren.
Rachel: Well, my boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview and he heard everything. So later he calls me to his office and he tells me that he's gonna have to let me go, because I'm not a team player. And I said "Wait a minute! Yes I am." and I had to sit there for 45 minutes while he proved that that in fact... was true.
Ross: I guess it's here because I GOT TENURE!
Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. (Gunther leaves, hurt) Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow.
Ross: I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery... Hey Rach, so uh... how did your thing go?
Ross: You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired.
Ross: No seriously. I have job security for life. You know, I never have to worry. (Rachel starts crying) Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me.
Rachel: (crying) No, it's not that. I got fired today. And I didn't get the other job.
Ross: Great. I feel like an idiot.
Joey: Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
Joey: Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason.
Joey: (squinting his eyes) Are you kiddin'? I think I just saw a bat in the corner!
Joey: (glares at him for a moment, then admits grudgingly) Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter.
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Mike: Ah! I missed you
Phoebe: Yes I did! Meet: Princess Consuela Banana Hammock! (She smiles from ear to ear)
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.
Mike: I do love it, and I love your name. I love Princess Consuela.
Phoebe: And I love Crap.
Mackenzie: (sighs) I hate my parents.
Joey: I hate my friends. (They shake on it as if they just made a pact) Alright, look. There's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening.
Mackenzie: I don't have any great ideas. I am eight.
Joey: (frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
Mackenzie: I really don't.
Joey: What am I gonna do, I feel like I'm losing my friends.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I guess.
Joey: (In near tears, realizes she is right) I hate to admit it, but you're probably right. How did you get to be so smart?
Mackenzie: I read a lot.
Joey: (his mood changes instantly) Just when I thought we could be friends. (he leaves the room)
Man: Hey Rach, I just heard. I'm so sorry.
Rachel: (Is embarrassed for a moment, but it quickly passes) Well, now I don't have to. (The man leaves instantly)
Ross: Yeah! yeah, I got tenure! (Mark looks at him strangely and walks off)
Ross: See? I told you something good would come along. And he seemed really nice. I've met him before?
Ross: I hate that guy.
Ross: I'm serious. I just don't trust that guy, okay?
Monica: Oh, I love this street. The trees, the big front yards, the actual picket fences.
Joey: What? I get my own room?
Joey: Oh my God! (they all hug) Oh! Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing?
Phoebe: (without moving her lips, wearing a fake smile) Okay, I will. (to Rita) This is my husband Crap Bag.
Monica: I guess. Why? Who's she with?
Ross: That guy Mark. From Bloomingdale's... She thinks he's just being nice to her. But I know he really wants to sleep with her.
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Monica: So what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single and he's cute.
Chandler: For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents.
Ross: (speaking without pause, agitated) Oh yeah? Yeah? I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want?
Rachel: I know, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren. The money is great...
Ross: Can we, can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along, huh? You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. (gasps) You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest.
Joey: I mean, this soap opera is a great gig, but... am I missing opportunities? You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor. I mean, should I be trying to do more independent movies?
Mackenzie: (at the other end of the line) I don't know... You know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on. (she puts the phone at the bears ear)
Joey: Hey bear, I need some career advice.
Ross: Yes, thats what I was going to ask, thank you.
Mr. Heckles: I could play the oboe!
Joey: Hey-hey, Im not judging.
MRS GREEN: That's fine. I never did it. I just thought I might. So, what's new in sex?
Chandler: I don't know, I-I have to listen to both of them, they don't exactly let each other finish...
Monica: I got it!
Rachel: All right, I like that.
Rachel: I can't believe this. This is her first birthday. She's awake. We're not even there. Everybody left. We still have this stupid obscene cake.
PHOEBE: I don't think it would have sold a million copies but it would have made a nice gift for you.
Ross: Its a good thing I didnt do it, because it sounds like it wouldve been a very expensive wedding. (Rachel laughs) Okay, good night
Rachel: I cannot push it in!
Janice: Well, I gotta buy a vowel. Because, oh my Gawd! Who, would've thought that someday, Chandler Bing would buy me a drawer.
PHOEBE: I can't believe two cows made the ultimate sacrifice so you guys could watch TV with your feet up.
Phoebe: Im sorry, okay, I-I wasnt looking, and the store says that they wont take it back because you signed for it...
Joey: Im telling you man, I saw it.
MONICA: But I thought you wanted to live by yourself.
Ross: Pheebs come on! I mean, consider the source! Of course her ex-husbands gonna say that stuff. Now, if youll excuse me
Dr. Green: Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, I think I forgot my receipt.
Phoebe: Yeah, well, well see about that. Can I use your phone? I just wanna call everyone I know.
Phoebe: Oh, Rachel and I have appointments to get our hair cut.
Ross: No. No, it's just 'cause, uh, I kinda wanted to go out with her too, so I told her, actually, you were seeing Bernie Spellman... who also liked her, so...
Rachel: Okay, I heard that.
Ross: Uh, don't you think that would be a little weird? I mean, two guys in a romantic inn...
Ross: But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig.
CHANDLER: You know I think he will be surprised, 'till he realizes he's a monkey, and uh, you know, isn't capable of that emotion.
Monica: What?! I just touched him and he went over.
Janice: I dont know.
Rachel: I also said number one.
Joey: I know. (giggles harder)
Monica: (entering with Rachel) Oh my God! Its true!! Oh my God you are so amazing! Oh my God, can I just ask you to do me oh, just one favor?
Monica: What we did was wrong. Oh god, I just had sex with somebody that wasn't alive during the Bicentennial.
Phoebe: (in a deep voice, imitating Ross) Um, Rachel Im really sorry. (imitating Rachel) Thats okay, do you wanna get back together? (imitating Ross) Yeah, okay. (in her normal voice) Did anyone else hear that?!
Chandler: I dont know, y'know. What, what, would you do?
Chandler: Oh, uh, I... don't... care. (Joey's date shows up) Ok, now, remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess.
Chandler: I talked to Janice.
PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.
Ross: I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.
Rachel: Yeah honey, Im standing right there! Why didnt you just tell him about the mole I havent got checked yet.
Rachel: I did!! I watched! I watched! I watched Monica bang his head against that thing!
Phoebe: No, look, I told you that I didnt want you to try and sell it, and you just, you big fat did it anyway. God, y'know what, I think five years ago I probably wouldve done anything to play with you but, I can do it by myself. And if I cant trust you then just forget it.
Monica: Joey, please dont do that. I think its best that we just forget about it.
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
Dr. Green: You know whats really good here, the lobster. What do you say shall I just order three.
Rachel: Ill get the hat.
Chandler: Oh no thats okay, you're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. But it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that when I die, you don't get Joey.
Phoebe: I dunno. I don't feel like kissing anyone tonight.
Janice: (standing up) Im sorry. (hugs him)
Chandler: Forget what I said, I was babbling! Pick me!
Phoebe: Yes. But I left in the Ys. 'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y". Uh, I also have something else for you. (She searches in her purse.)
Erica: Oh, it was okay. I went to a movie with my cousin and then out for dinner. We went to this place that had... Ooh... (she looks likes she is in pain, holding her belly) Hoo... ooh... Anyway, they had these really amazing cheeseburgers.
MONICA: Dr. Burke? I don't think so. I mean, like, he's a grown up.
Phoebe: I know.
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: Ive found.
Rachel: I hope its still funny when youre in hell.
Phoebe: Ive found....
Chandler: (high pitched) No you know I dont mind.
Airline Employee: Sir! Im afraid Im gonna have to ask you to leave.
Joey: Ive got a science question.
Monica: I got you the foot massager.
Chandler: I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesnt matter, I still wind up with this little (pats the flat spot on the back of his head) cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. Its so annoying. Does it bug you?
Chandler: No, no, no, I dont, I dont really wanna play.
Chandler: Yeah, all right, Ill play.
Ross: Um, Monica and I arent supposed to play football.
Ross: Did you see me? I was pretty good, huh? That is one fun game!
Joey: (entering) G. I. Joe! Cool! Can I play?
Monica: (faking happiness) Well, I-I-I-I... I don't know...
Monica: Well yknow, Im just-Im just worried that bosses will see them and think they pay you too much money. Or! Or your assistant will see them and-and want a raise!
Monica: (to Chandler and Joey) I won the game.
Rachel: Okay, wait a minute. Wait a minute, I-I-I, I can't do this. Listen honey, this is, it's not Phoebe's fault. She lent me the earrings, and I lost it. I'm so sorry. Honey, I feel terrible too. (Holds out her arms for a hug.)
Ross: Sweetie, now I pick you.
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
Phoebe: Congratulations! I didnt want to say anything in front of Joey cause I didnt know if he knew yet.
Rachel: Monica, Im your best friend.
Phoebe: I thought you meant in life.
Ross: Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is! Mom! Look if you see Chandler, could you just let him know Im looking for him?
Monica: Phoebe, I thought you said you know what youre doing?
JOEY: I don't know, you see somethin', you hear a word, I thought that's what it was. Let me see it again.
Chandler: Sorry. Im sorry. Y'know what, were just gonna throw it.
Rachel: Because it is too damn hard Ross. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you. When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go... Okay, so if you think that I didn't say goodbye to you because you don't mean as much to me as everybody else, you're wrong. It's because you mean more to me. So there, all right, there's your goodbye... Oh!
Ross: Okay, (to Chandler) this play, I want you to do a down and out to the right. Okay. Break!
Woman: Im Margha.
Woman: Im Dutch.
Rachel: Wait, what am I gonna do?
Ross: Well, I said it loud.
Joey: I think so.
Joey: Hi-hi, Im Joey.
Margha: It is okay, if I stay and watch?
Rachel: Yeah, I know, go long. Y'know, its like all Im doing is running back and forth from the huddle.
Chandler: Thanks. What, let me have her?! What do mean? Like if you didnt I wouldnt have a shot?
Chandler: I think its necessary. (Backs away anyhow.)
Ross: Well, I thought it first, Holmes.
Chandler: (entering from the bedroom wearing a big, pink bunny costume) Monica! Can I talk to you for a second? Listen, I appreciate you getting me the costume
Rachel: Can I see that for second.
Chandler: Ah, I dont know, you tell me. Anything you ah, wanna tell me, because, if you ah, you should, if you, you would, tell me.
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
Phoebe: Well, okay, I made a touchdown. It was my first touchdown. So?
Ross: Come here. (he hugs Rachel) Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
Monica: Y'know what? Ill think youll play.