words in movies
Chandler: Yeah, I don't know why we hang out with married couples more often.
Ross: (entering) Hey, you guys... I have great news.
Ross: Oh, well, er, I already ate, but sure...! (they all look at each other when Ross grabs a plate) Guess what happened at work today...
Ross: Try sixty-five million years ago, and then try sssshhhhhh.... My tenure review board met today and I hear it's looking really good.
Ross: Yeah. Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles, uh? I am gonna get laid.
Rachel: Hey you guys... You're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me.
Joey: (enters) Guess what? (they all look expectantly at him) I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
Monica: I don't know who I'm happiest for...
Phoebe: I do, he's been working on that all day! (looking at Joey)
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Phoebe: What? Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? Ooh, I like it.
Monica: All right. I know you're not happy about us moving, but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.
Joey: You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN!
Joey: What? No, the only reason I'm going to their stupid new house, is so I can point out everything that's wrong with it, so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here.
Joey: Hey, hey... I can convince people to do anything, you know. I bet I can even get Mike to do that "thing". What is it?
Joey: I AM NOT GONNA HELP YOU DO THAT! Goodbye! (he leaves)
Maitre d': I know. With Gukki
Rachel: Wha... My resumé? I wouldn't... I wouldn't call my online dating profile a resumé.
Phoebe: (to the woman behind her) This place is so depressing. If I had to work here I'd kill myself. (she turns around and the clerk behind the counter heard her.) But you obviously haven't.
Clerk: How can I help you?
Phoebe: I need to change my name, please. See, I need to change it because I'm-I'm hiding from the law. (the clerk shows no change in expression whatsoever) You're fun.
Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?
Phoebe: Well, not anything, I mean...
Phoebe: Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.
Phoebe: Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Chandler: You know, I always feel that way after an interview. I'll bet it went better than you think.
Rachel: Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren.
Rachel: Well, my boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview and he heard everything. So later he calls me to his office and he tells me that he's gonna have to let me go, because I'm not a team player. And I said "Wait a minute! Yes I am." and I had to sit there for 45 minutes while he proved that that in fact... was true.
Ross: I guess it's here because I GOT TENURE!
Ross: Oh, I thought Joey was here. Five is good. (Gunther leaves, hurt) Well, I'm gonna have a loogie in my coffee tomorrow.
Ross: I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery... Hey Rach, so uh... how did your thing go?
Ross: You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired.
Ross: No seriously. I have job security for life. You know, I never have to worry. (Rachel starts crying) Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me.
Rachel: (crying) No, it's not that. I got fired today. And I didn't get the other job.
Ross: Great. I feel like an idiot.
Joey: Me too. Yeah, this place is great. I'm so happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
Joey: Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason.
Joey: (squinting his eyes) Are you kiddin'? I think I just saw a bat in the corner!
Joey: (glares at him for a moment, then admits grudgingly) Maybe. Well, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know? Or any other house for that matter.
Joey: FINE, ok, if you love this house so much, then you should just live here, okay? I just hope you get used to that weird humming sound. (He turns his back to them and starts humming) Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...
Mike: Ah! I missed you
Phoebe: Yes I did! Meet: Princess Consuela Banana Hammock! (She smiles from ear to ear)
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.
Mike: I do love it, and I love your name. I love Princess Consuela.
Phoebe: And I love Crap.
Mackenzie: (sighs) I hate my parents.
Joey: I hate my friends. (They shake on it as if they just made a pact) Alright, look. There's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening.
Mackenzie: I don't have any great ideas. I am eight.
Joey: (frustrated) Ahh! There's gotta be a way. I mean, you know, if Monica and Chandler move out here and now Phoebe is married to Mike. That just leaves me and Ross and Rach, you know what I mean?
Mackenzie: I really don't.
Joey: What am I gonna do, I feel like I'm losing my friends.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I guess.
Joey: (In near tears, realizes she is right) I hate to admit it, but you're probably right. How did you get to be so smart?
Mackenzie: I read a lot.
Joey: (his mood changes instantly) Just when I thought we could be friends. (he leaves the room)
Man: Hey Rach, I just heard. I'm so sorry.
Rachel: (Is embarrassed for a moment, but it quickly passes) Well, now I don't have to. (The man leaves instantly)
Ross: Yeah! yeah, I got tenure! (Mark looks at him strangely and walks off)
Ross: See? I told you something good would come along. And he seemed really nice. I've met him before?
Ross: I hate that guy.
Ross: I'm serious. I just don't trust that guy, okay?
Monica: Oh, I love this street. The trees, the big front yards, the actual picket fences.
Joey: What? I get my own room?
Joey: Oh my God! (they all hug) Oh! Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing?
Phoebe: (without moving her lips, wearing a fake smile) Okay, I will. (to Rita) This is my husband Crap Bag.
Monica: I guess. Why? Who's she with?
Ross: That guy Mark. From Bloomingdale's... She thinks he's just being nice to her. But I know he really wants to sleep with her.
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Monica: So what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single and he's cute.
Chandler: For your information, I was staring at her baby. We're about to be parents.
Ross: (speaking without pause, agitated) Oh yeah? Yeah? I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want?
Rachel: I know, it's amazing. It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren. The money is great...
Ross: Can we, can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along, huh? You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out. (gasps) You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israels finest.
Joey: I mean, this soap opera is a great gig, but... am I missing opportunities? You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor. I mean, should I be trying to do more independent movies?
Mackenzie: (at the other end of the line) I don't know... You know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on. (she puts the phone at the bears ear)
Joey: Hey bear, I need some career advice.
Joey: Im sorry, I just I like things the way they are.
PHOEBE: Well, I mean, I'm not married married, ya know, he's just a friend and he's gay and he's just from Canada and he just needed a green card.
Joey: I dont want them to move to a Volvo dealership!
Monica: Well uh, Im trying to make something for Joey. Do you mind if I raid your fridge?
Ross: Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn.
Joey: What? I dont get it.
Joey: (starting to cry) I have never known love like this.
Chandler: I stole Monicas and changed the name.
Monica: (as Rachel) Hi, Dad. No, no, it's me. (Getting up to move further away from Rachel) li-listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, um, but there's something, um... there's something that I've been meaning to tell you...
Mr. Geller: I always thought that too. Tell me, what does your father do?
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe you lied to me.
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Alice: No-no-no, no, its going to be fine. Because umm, because I teach Home Ec, and uh, I can have 30 kids making baby clothes all year long. Yknow itll-itll be like my very own little sweatshop.
ROSS: Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that? RACH: I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. ROSS: OK. Oh, oh, oh. [runs over and picks up the cat toy] RACH: Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? ROSS: No, I stayed at Julie's last night. RACH: Huh. ROSS: Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? RACH: Oh yeah, go ahead. [Rachel walks in her room. Ross picks up the phone and dials his machine to check his messages.] ROSS: Rach, I got a message from you. [pauses] Who's Michael? [Rachel comes out of her room, suddenly she remembers leaving the message.]
Joey: Actually I rent the whole place and, I just got what you meant. Thank you.
Rachel: Hey! Have you guys seen Jill? I cant find her anywhere.
Phoebe: Ooh, I think I wanna trade circles.
Phoebe: Well, I'm watching it for some friends who went out of town. Wait. (She bends down, picks up the dog, and waves with one of its paws) Hello, my name is Clunkers. May I please stay with you nice people?
Chandler: I dont even know the man. Okay? Were not the close. I havent seen him in years.
Phoebe: Okay, I think I need to do some shopping. (Gets up and leaves.)
MONICA: Rache, I think we have enough regular lamps.
Monica: So what! As long as hes not wearing a white dress and a veil I dont care.
Ross: Look, its just did, did you ever go to a party and think, "Would really anyone miss me if I werent here?"
Ross: There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why dont you just hand over the keys?
Chandler: I had too okay?! Were getting married! Married couples cant keep secrets from one another!
Man: Sure, Id like that.
Rachel: I have so got it. Theres gonna be rumours about this, theres no way to stop it. Sophie knows, Monica and Phoebe know.
Monica: Chandler, look I-I know that your dad embarrassed you. I know
Chandler: Look forget it okay? I dont want to go. I dont want to see him. I dont wanna.
Monica: Now there you go! I wouldnt want my best guest to strain her eyes!
Rachel: Hey. Oh, I have a question. If-if-if one of you had to pick one of the other two guys to go out with, who would you pick?
Chandler: So I really never get to win anymore?
Monica: Its so good, that I feel really selfish about being the only one whos eating it, that I think we should have everyone taste how good it is. Especially Ross.
Phoebe: I know. They were mine.
Rachel: No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help.
Joey: (noticing Chandler) What are you doing? (he pushes Chandler back to his side of the couch) Get back over on your side of the... (sees Robert in all his glory) Hello!! (to Robert) Hi, Im Joey, we havent met.
Chandler: Im gettin my chair back! (Heads for Joey and Rachels.)
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Joey: Yeah, I wouldnt know about that.
David: Uh no, I have to go in a few hours. I have to be on the red-eye. Well listen, yknow, next time youre in Minsk umm
Monica: Honey, we were at this beautiful place, and I-I-I just put our names down for fun! I mean, whats the harm in that?
Phoebe: I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
Ross: Okay. I can, I can see that. Umm, but I think if you give me umm, one chance I can, I can change your mind.
Joey: Hey! I am secure with my masculinity.
Phoebe: There is nothing wrong with Jake! Okay? He is all man! Im thinking even more than you.
JOEY: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'.
Ross: I was talking to myself! Youre going down!
Chandler: Ohh, umm, y'know what, I already ate.
Fran: Im gonna wait till after we order. Its her, right.
Ross: (yelling, thinking Emily can hear him through the answering machine all the way to New York.) I love you too! Im, Im gonna call you right now from the phone booth! (Realises) You cant hear me. (Goes to make his call.)
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
Phoebe: Or! I should rush through dinner with Joey and I can meet David at 9:00!
Ross: Yeah, Ill get right on that.
Rachel: Okay. Switch places with me! Switch places with me! Come on! Ill go under, you go over!
Ross: No Rach! Come on! No-no! Yeah, Im sure we wont get arrested for this.
Policeman: Can I see your license please?
Policeman: Well I tell you what
Rachel: I wont speed.
Rachel: Well, Valentines Day was like two weeks ago, so I wouldnt get her a calendar!
Rachel: I knew it! I knew it, ahh .
Policeman: Yes I am.
Rachel: I promise.
Rachel: Really?! You think so? Yknow, I had just rolled out of bed.
Joey: I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and whenever I cant do it, theyre all like-like laughing at me.
Rachel: Here we go. Im serving my last cup of coffee. (the gang starts humming the graduation theme) There you go. (hands it to Chandler) Enjoy. (they all cheer)
Chandler: No Im serious, we should tell each other everything. I do not have any secrets from you.
Ross: I can handle the stick!!
Mark: Hi. Well, look, I was just gonna leave a message, isnt tonight your, your big anniversary dinner?
Chandler: Believe me, Ive been saying that for years. Oh my God!
Ross: I prefer not to answer that right now, Im still carrying a little holiday weight.
Helena: No-no I heard! Im just sorry.
Joey: Listen, you know how uh, when youre wearing pants and you lean forward I check out your underwear?
Phoebe: Ok, good! (pause) You guys were so scared! There was no way I was gonna dump this...(a pigeon swoops down, scaring Phoebe who drops the bowl on the street) Oh God, no! (pause) I think I broke your bowl.
Joey: Yknow, Im beginning to see what Jake was talking about.
Monica: Yes smokie, that is what it was. I just can�t get enough.
Phoebe: I think its important that you do.
The Potential Roommate: I can do that.
Monica: Im-Im Monica.
Joey: Hey Rach, listen I was thinkin uh, Im gonna have an extra room over at my place
Joey: Yeah, I-I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didnt want you to worry about me. But, Im having surgery today.
Chandler: I know it would make me happy, maam.
Chandler: Actually Monica and I are engaged.
Ross: Oh great! Were going out again Saturday. But I just found shes also seeing some other guy.
Phoebe: Yeah. I was just in there. He introduced himself and the next thing I know, were making out. You know.
Ross: What?! What does he want?! I wasnt doing anything!
Chandler: (To Monica) When I was growing up I played the one on the far left.
Ross: Chandler, can I just say something? I-I know you're still mad at me, I just wanna say that there were two people there that night. Okay? Two sets of lips.
Ross: I know. I know.
Ross: Yknow of-officer I uh I had the weirdest dream last night
Phoebe: Yeah, I understand.
Woman: I dont think so.
Joey: Yknow, you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?
Rachel: see I cant decide whether it would go better next to the new wicker dining chair, the Sahara desk, or the Parker console table.
ROSS: Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
Ross: No, its Its not that. Umm, now what Im going to say to you, Im not saying as your friend. Okay? Im-Im saying as it as Monicas older brother.
Phoebe: Ooh-Ooh! I did it! I did it! I figured out a way to make money! Im gonna open up my own massage place and Franks gonna help me! And! We can work it around his schedule so he doesnt have to quit school!
Chandler: Do I still call you Ross?
Chandler: (smiling) Hey, I hear what your saying, okay? And, thanks for the warning.
Joey: Oh no, Ill be done by then.