words in movies
JOEY: Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope.
CHANDLER: Well, I don't know what Big Leon told ya but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night. What is this for?
JOEY: Well, I'm makin money now and this is payin' you back for head shots, electric bills, and so many slices of pizza I can't even count. I love ya man.
CHANDLER: Well, thanks man. Now I can get my pony.
CHANDLER: Wow, I don't know what to say. [opens the box and pulls out an incredibly gaudy gold bracelet] Wow, I, I don't know what to say.
CHANDLER: I don't know. It's a bracelet.
CHANDLER: Oh, now? [puts it in his desk drawer] No, no, I think something this nice should be saved for a special occasion. [sets a chair in front of the drawer]
CHANDLER: I so am.
CHANDLER: Well, it'll probably slow it down at first but, once I get used to the extra weight, I'll be back on track.
INTERVIEWER: And if I want to call for a reference on your last job?
MONICA: A salad? Really I, I could do something a little more complicated if you like.
INTERVIEWER: Now, I want you to tell me what you're doing while you're doing it.
INTERVIEWER: Don't, I like it dirty.
MONICA: Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatos.
MONICA: Actually, I was gonna do them jullienne.
ROSS: Y-ello. No, Rachel's not here right now, can I take a message? Alright, and how do we spell Casey, is it like at the bat or and the Sunshine Band? OK, bye-bye. Hey, who's this uh, this Casey?
ROSS: [puts the message in the cupboard] I don't know, I don't get, I don't get it, I mean, wh, wh, two months ago Rachel and I were like, this close. Right now, what, I'm takin messages from guys she, she meets at the movies? I mean this, this Casey should be takin' down my messages, ya know, or, or, Rachel and I should be together and, and we should get some kind of me, message service.
MONICA: Yeah, I think that fifth shower actually got the interview off me.
MONICA: Oh yeah, well there's the possibility that I won't make rent.
ROSS: Monica, if you want, I can lend you some money.
MONICA: No no no, if I couldn't pay you back right away then I'd feel guilty and tense every time I saw you.
MR. GELLER: Well, I can't say any of us were surprised. Your parents have been unhappy ever since we've known them. Especially after that incident in Hawaii.
MR. GELLER: Uhh, naa, no no no, I, I must be thinking of someone else, uh, maybe me. Don't you have some folding to do? Go fold dear. Fold. You fold. [shuffles her into her room]
PHOEBE: OK. Ooh, OK, you gotta give me a second, I wanna get this just right. [she sticks out her gut, clears her throat and sniffs her nose and then in her best male voice. . .] Dude, 11 o'clock, totally hot babe checkin' you out. That was really good, I think I'm ready for my penis now.
CHANDLER: [walks over to the woman] I know what you're thinking, Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's.
GAIL: I, I really have to be somewhere but it was nice meeting you.
CHANDLER: I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry, I do, I do. I pity the fool that. . . [turns around and sees Joey] Hi. Hey man, we were just doin' some uhh, impressions over here. Do your Marcel Marceau. [Joey turns around and walks out without saying anything] That's actually good.
ROSS: Would you look at that guy, I mean how long has he been talking to her. It's like, back off buddy she's a waitress not a geisha.
PHOEBE: I think she's OK.
ROSS: Oh, oh my God, is this the wrong day? I don't believe it, uh, well, hey, I guess if it works out we'll, we'll have something to tell the grandkids.
ROSS: I was saving you.
ROSS: Oh, see from where I was sitting I uh. . .
RACHEL: OK, Ross, listen to me, I am not yours to save.
RACHEL: No, listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it.
CHANDLER: Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?
CHANDLER: OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we wouldn't focus on that. [Joey goes to his room and shuts the door] Hey, c'mon man, I said I was sorry like a hundred times, I promise I will never take it off my. . . [notices the bracelet is missing from his wrist] wrist. But if, if you want to stay in there and be mad, you know, you just uh, you stay in there. [he starts searching the room, lifting up the couch cushions]
CHANDLER: I am here, on my knees, holding up these couch cushions as a symbol of my sorrow and regret, much like they did in biblical times. Though you may haveth anger now. . . [Joey returns to his room]
MONICA: No, but that's probably 'cause I haven't asked them yet.
MONICA: Um, yeah, so uh, uhh, listen, I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before but umm, I, I'm no longer at my job, I, I had to leave it.
CHANDLER: I can't believe it.
CHANDLER: Oh, you're right I, I should play in the hay. Forget about the fact that I just dropped 400 dollars to replace a bracelet that I hated to begin with. Bring on the hay. [sits down at the bar]
CHANDLER: What am I gonna do, huh? [Joey walks in behind him]
CHANDLER: No, I can't. No no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, [puts bracelet on Joey] it's about you and me and the fact that we're [reading bracelet] best buds.
JOEY: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies.
ROSS: Yeah, yeah I mean, you get your money and you learn a little something, what's wrong with that?
MONICA: Oh, um, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was uh, a little bigger then.
CHANDLER: Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rained.
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
CHANDLER: OK, I was wrong, that's what they used to cover Connecticut.
MONICA: Shoot, I think I got mayonaise on you.
RACHEL: [the shoulders of her dress keep falling off her shoulders] Is my hook unhooked? These things keep falling down, I can't. . .
ROSS: Uh, hold, let me see, I don't know. So what're you gonna do. . . [doorbell rings]
MONICA: I just told Rachel that Roy touched my boob.
RACHEL: I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too late.
MONICA: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
ROSS: I don't know.
RACHEL: I can't believe I don't get to go to my own prom, this is so harsh.
ROSS: OK, you guys, ya know, I think we've seen enough, let's turn it off.
MRS. GELLER: Oh, dear. Jack, how do I turn this off?
MONICA: I can't believe you did that.
MR. GELLER: I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.
Rachel: Not stupid. The very cute, cute, cute doctors asked us out for tomorrow night, and I said "yes."
Monica: Oh, thats great! I mean Im-Im sorry, but Im so happy for you. And now I can work for you!
Phoebe: Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined.
CHANDLER: Listen, I'm, I'm sorry I didn't make it over there today.
RACHEL: Fine, I will.
ROSS: Good, 'cause I love you.
ROSS: No see now, now I can't because uh, I'm feeling too self conscious.
Ross: I dunno, there's just something about...
MONICA: I promise you, he would definitely want you back.
Joey: The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limesHey, what was in that brown jar?
Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean yknow you cant date him right?
MONICA: I was.
Joey: Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...
RACHEL: Well I love you too.
Monica: I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can.
Joey: Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. (pretends to spray cologne) Aramis? Aramis?
JOEY: You know it's funny you should mention that 'cause I was thinkin'... what's with the boxes?
CHANDLER: Oh, uhh, actually I uh, have some news.
ROSS: I know.
Alan: Yeah, I'm sorry too. But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved.
Chandler: Hey. I just, I just wanted to come over to-to say that Im sorry. Yknow? I know I acted like the biggest idiot in the world, and I can completely understand why you were so upset.
MONICA: I wanna watch Entertainment Tonight.
Chandler: I can't call her, I left a message! I have some pride.
PHOEBE: Yeah, yeah, no it's OK 'cause, I mean, I know he's there, so, that's enough for now.
MONICA: Ross, I hated you when we were kids.
Ross: (To Monica) Okay, I know Im not supposed to know, but I do. And Im so excited for you!
Monica: (rolling towards the office) Im quitting!! Woo-hoo! (She rolls through a doorway and out of sight. We then hear a big crash, and see Monica roll past the door the other way.) Im okay!! Im all right!!
ROSS: I can do that.
Chandler: Okay listen, just give me anything I can make two of.
Chandler: Oh, ain't this nice? It's so quiet, I could just lie here all day.
Rachel: Joey! Come on! I dont wanna make any mistakes, alright? This is the only dessert and if I screw it up everybody's gonna be like Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?
MONICA: Then I won't have to kill you.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I only have twenty minutes until Ethan, so, y'know.. (He starts to raid the fridge.)
Rachel: It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. See, every year we go skiing in Vail, and normally my father pays for my ticket, but I sort of started the whole independence thing, you know, which is actually why I took this job.
PHOEBE: I mean this poor woman.
PHOEBE: Well, I can't work with people who would do this.
MONICA: I know, how can you not be accross the hall anymore.
Chandler: How can I answer that when Im pretending I dont know you?
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you cant take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!
CHANDLER: Well I like both eggs equally.
Chandler: Yknow what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers . (Monica doesnt look impressed.) No? Really? They taste so good.
Chandler: Okay. But if you dont come back soon, (She leaves and closes the door) theres pretty much nothing I can do about it!
Joey: You got pregnant for funny?! Dina if hes funny laugh! All right, Ill be back in a little while! You stay here!
ROSS: As in, "I now pronounce you wife and wife" married?
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi, this Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please? (Listens) Earl, thanks. (Listens) Hi Earl, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies Id like to talk to you about your toner needs. (Shes reading from the script.)
CHANDLER: Oh no no no no, no no no no no no, you see, what I had planned shouldn't take more that 2, 3 minutes tops.
PHOEBE: OH!! Oh I thought they were just watching me. You know, like at, like at an aquarium, ya know.
JOEY: I'm sorry. I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.
Guy: Oh, that's great. I'm stalking the wrong woman. I am such a dingus!
AMBER: I want you Drake.
Joey: But my mom always makes them. It's like a tradition. You get a little piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce, and a tot! It's bad enough I can't be with my family because of my disease.
DR. BURKE: Oh, well obviously you know Barbara and I split up, otherwise you wouldn't have done the head tilt.
Ross: That is a great idea! And! I know Ugly Naked Guy because we've been watching him for like five years so that gives me back my edge! Oh, let's see now he had the trampoline.
Phoebe: Na-uh, I am!
PHOEBE: I know, yeah. Ok, talk to him. [leaves]
Rachel: (voice wavers) Oh, but he was my pig man...how did I not see this?
Phoebe: Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before, so I called the father and asked him to meet you here so you can tell him. Go!
PHOEBE: I know.
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
Chandler: I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen with Rachel, they would've happened already?
MRS. GELLER: I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.
RICHARD: I don't know, I don't have my jammies.
Phoebe: Oh, I (starts jabbering incoherently)
ERICA: I don't understand, why didn't you help that man?
JOEY: Ooh, I look good.
RACHEL: Oh yeah. I used to babysit him. Hey, how's his dad?
Rachel: "Oh my God, I cant find a boyfriend! So I guess Ill just stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find in there!"
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
PHOEBE: Alright, so, what, he's not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones?
RACHEL: Wow, I am so glad I'm not Monica right now.
Joey: C'mon, you guys, it wasn't that bad. It was better than that thing I did with the trolls, at least you got to see my head.
MONICA: Wow. Oh wow. You know I love you too, right.
Mark: Ive kinda of had this ah, this crush on you. (Rachel is shocked) But since you were with Ross, I-I didnt do anything about it. But, now that youre not, Id really like to ask you out sometime. So-so thats-thats what Im doing, now.
Rachel: (lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast � to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Monica: When girls hang out, we dont have pillow fights in our underwear. (Chandler gets a hurt look on his face.) Im sorry. We do. We do. I dont know why I said that.
RACHEL: God, Ross, look, what you and I have is special, all Paolo and I ever had was...
Ross: Let-let me make sure I'm hearing this right, you're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? (Janice makes an agreeing sound.) So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice.
MONICA: I know. I just can't find...
Chandler: Oh no..don't thank me. Thank you. You know there's not one thing I would change about you? Not one single thing! And definitely not... two... single things.
ROSS: [in a childish voice] I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain.
PHOEBE: Uh huh, what is happening to the world? I mean, no no no, 'cause ET leaves, and and Rocky loses, Charlotte dies.
RACHEL: Ok, I, I will do your laundry for one month.
Phoebe: Ohh, no. (Pause) Oh okay, so you're a cop which means you can park anywhere, 'cause I know that 'cause I'm a cop too. So, all right, keep up the good work. 10-4. (Tries to leave.)
Ross: Are you angry at me because I said your handwriting is childlike?
MONICA: Ya know, I was thinking. Ya know how we always stay at your apartment? Well, I thought maybe tonight we'd stay at my place.
EDDIE: Wha-, n-, no. I mean it's just a bunch of pretty people runnin' around on the beach, ya know.
PHOEBE: Yeah, it's just so strange. I mean, she probably woke up today and thought, "ok, I'll have some breakfast, and then I'll take a little walk, and then I'll have my massage." Little did she know God was thinking, "Ok, but that's it." Oh, but the weirdest thing was, ok, I was cleansing her aura when she died, and when the spirit left her body, I don't think it went very far.
CHANDLER: I can't sleep now.
Rachel: Yes, I did. Thank you very much, it was excellent. (Disembarks)
CHANDLER: I didn't realize that.
CHANDLER: No, look, that's it, it's over, I want you out, I want you out of the apartment now.
CHANDLER: I want you out.
EDDIE: Ok, then I want to hear you say it, I, I want to hear you say you want me out.
EDDIE: I heard that.
Mr. Zelner: Ive asked Lee from human resources to be here as a witness to our conversation.
Part I Written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan & Scott Silveri Part II Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Parts I and II Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
ESTELLE: Joey, look at me, look at me. Do I have lipstick on my teeth?
PHOEBE: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
RACHEL: Oh, God, oh, God, I mean it's just so.