words in movies
Rachel: I know, it's huge, and it's scary, and it's... really far, far away from you guys, but this is such an incredible opportunity for me. And I've already talked to them about our situation with Emma, and they said they'll do whatever we need to make us feel comfortable.
Rachel: I mean, I'll fly back and forth, they'll fly you out... Anything we want.
Chandler: My boss said I might be getting a new lamp in my cubicle. (Monica looks at him and can't really place what he just said)
Rachel: I think it is. (Ross looks very sad. Phoebe and Joey enter.)
Rachel: I got a really incredible job offer.
Joey: Well, it comes and goes. I wouldn't trust it.
Chandler: I see.
Ross: Well, Rachel moving to another country? Not being able to see her every day. How can I be okay with this?
Monica: I know, but what are we gonna do? She really needs this job.
Ross: I don't know. I could talk to her boss. Yeah! I met him at that Christmas party. We really hit it off.
Ross: I didn't say we were brothers.
Monica: Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't.
Phoebe: Well, I think that shirt makes you look like you should work at a Baskin Robbins... Anyway... Hey, isn't Joey's agent Estelle Leonard?
Phoebe: Yeah, last Saturday. Wow! She was the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic. (Chandler and Monica look puzzled) Oh, wait a minute, I read the wrong one.
Chandler: I know. *He* always wanted to be the first black man to cross the Atlantic.
Chandler: Unless Snoopy says it to Charlie Brown, I think we're okay.
Mr Zelner: Uh... What can I do for you?
Ross: Oh, no. At first I have to get you to agree. Then we'll see if she wants to come back.
Ross: (surprised) Huh, I took a shot there.
Mr Zelner: But I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do... Ah, it's not true, there is... nothing I want to do.
Ross: I see... Thanks very much. (he gets up and walks to the door. On his way out he looks at the photographs Mr Zelner has near his door. He picks one up.) Is this your son?
Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. (Mr. Zellner looks shocked). I just heard it as you must have heard it and that’s not good. Let me start again. I’m a paleontologist, you’ll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones… fossils!
Mr Zelner: Well, I guess having Rachel back wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
Ross: Yeah! Yes! Thank you! This is great. Thank you so much. And I swear, your kid is going to have the time of his life.
Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs.
Joey: I’m just mad at my agent.
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Phoebe: I’m guessing she does.
Joey: Well (taking his cell phone out of a pocket) I’m wanna hear it, because she keeps doing this.
Phoebe: Well, no, no, wait, wait, wait. All right, I gotta go. Just listen. Promise me, that you will wait a minute before you call her.
Joey: I love that saying!
Joey: I was just gonna call you! That’s weird.
Phoebe-Estelle: It’s a little coincidental, but believable. (Joey nods in agreement). Listen, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t get you an audition for that TV movie.
Joey: Yeah, actually I am!
Phoebe-Estelle: I guess I dropped the ball there. Whoopsie!
Joey: No, no, look. All I’m saying is that you’re my agent, ok? And you’re not getting me into any auditions and I’m tired of it.
Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone).
Rachel: Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing. They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back! I mean, that place must have been falling apart without me.
Rachel: No, I’m still going.
Lady: Oh, sure. I’m showing it to someone else right now, but please, look around.
Lady: Well, we already have one offer on it, and I think the lady upstairs is goning to make another one.
Joey: Yeah, I just… I just feel bad about firing Estelle. This is got to be killing her.
Joey: I don’t know. She’s got to be taking it hard, I was like her only client. Except for this guy who eats paper. And I’m guessing he eats more money than he makes. Look, I know she’s not a great agent, but she did stick with me for ten years. I’m gonna call her and hire her again.
Joey: I promise. And that means, never having to give a reason. (Phoebe stops herself from laughing and leaves)
Chandler: And yet I never run into Beyonce!
Monica: (looks confused and scared) I don't know why.
Janice: Ooh, that decides it then. I was on the fence. But knowing that you two would be our neighbors? Ah! now we have to get it! (Chandler and Monica are utterly shocked) Ellen, we're going to talk numbers. (Grabs Ellen by her elbow and pulls her outside)
Chandler: That is a great idea! And by the way, I don't mean to sound distasteful, but when did you start crapping money!?
Monica: Okay, but if we don't get this house, she's stil gonna show up wherever we go! I mean, at least if she's here, it eliminates the element of suprise. I mean, never again will you have to hear the three words that make your balls jump back up inside your body. (She shows this with her index finger, mimicking it pushing something up)
Ross: (enters) It's me. Ron. (Mr. Zellner looks annoyed) Look, I um, I now Rachel turned you down but I think there is a way you might be able to get her to come back.
Ross: Perhaps I can persuade you. What if you can give your son this (Takes a huge egg out of his back) genuine pterodactyl egg (whispers) replica.
Mr Zelner: (looks at Ross, for a long moment, confused) I meant with my son.
Phoebe: Yeah, I wanted to call and tell you that there's no hard feelings for firing me.
Joey: (still scared) Ok-ay. I just, I can't believe you're calling me?
Phoebe: Well, I didn't think I should just drop by...
Joey: Can I ask you something? Uhm, what's it like there?
Phoebe: (Looks around) It's alright. Look kiddo, I gotta go. Good luck with the career. You're gonna be huge.
Janice: All right, I got to run. Tell Monica I say goodbye. And... I'll see you later, neighbor. (Janice laugh)
Chandler: Wait! I just want you to know that... I'm so happy you're going to be here.
Chandler: I never stopped loving you.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I want you... I need you... I must have you Janice Litman Goralnik Neihosenstein.
Janice: I don't know what to say... I mean, you know, obviously we have this... heat between us.
Janice: But I love my husband. And I know you love your wife. Now, I don't think we should get this house now.
Chandler: I understand.
Rachel: Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. Zelner called me and he said we'll do everything we can to get you back. And that I should thank some Ron... I don't even know what department that guy's in.
Rachel: Well, I took it.
Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example)
Ross: Uhm, I hadn't no you... I had no idea you were so excited about Paris. Uhm, I mean, you said you were scared.
Rachel: Well yeah, but I mean, it was good scared though, you know? Like when I-moved-to-New-York scared. Or uhm, when I-found-out-I-was-gonna-have-Emma scared... But this is... fine. This is gonna be good. (they both stare around)
Ross: I really do.
Rachel: But I already told Zelner that I would come back...
Phoebe: Oh wait, I change my mind! (She slams the door on them.) Okay, let's talk about the party! I have so many ideas! (Holds up a cocktail napkin.)
Rachel: Yeah, I can do that.
Chandler: Y'know what I just realized? You just freaked out about our relationship.
Ross: Yeah, see, I dont think its gonna that difficult considering this one wont be taking place in the basement of a Pizza Hut.
Rachel: I dont know. Do-do you have any clothes on?
Phoebe: I got it! Mine!
Joey: (Happily) Yeah I did!
The Smoking Woman: I won't! (Turns away) Until I have my next cigarette.
Ross: I don't know. It was incredible. I mean, it just felt so right. When I was holding her, I mean, I never wanted to let her go. You know what? Yeah, I do. I wanna be together.
Monica: (laughs) Yes, I did! And you are welcome!
Chandler: Hey, you have to forget about Elizabeth. I mean if youre not careful you may not get married at all this year!
Kim: Nancy and I were talking about the fall collection.
Nancy: I thought you didn't smoke.
Ross: Yes!! I knew it!! (To the people who didn't make it.) Bye-bye! So long! Later!
Monica: Uh, look, Larry honey, umm, I wrote the book on Section 5 and I know that you don't have to wear your hat unless you're in the kitchen.
Kyle: Oh, oh, I thought we were just talking.
Mrs. Waltham: No, Im bored with you now. Im going to cut you off. (She hangs up.)
Joey: I'm always on the swings! What am I doing wrong?!
Joshua: and even though none of the other kids believed me, I swear to God, that duck pushed me!
Joey: Uh-uh nothing. I-I-I-I didn't want you to touch me cause I'm -I'm all sweaty from the workout. I better hit the shower. (Goes into the bathroom and comes back out quickly) Oh my God!
Ross: Oh yeah? I guess we'll just see!
Rachel: I did not!
Phoebe: Wow! I didn't see that coming! You're-you're asking me out!
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure. I mean, like in the case of this young woman, she has lost her clothes, so she rides naked on the horse, shes crying out, Where are they, where are they?
Monica: No! To take more pictures of all of us together. I mean I really think it's the best resolution because everyone will enjoy the pictures.
Phoebe: Yeah. I just need you to bring me some photos of Ross.
CHANDLER: Yes, yes I actually saw him leave. I mean that guy is standing in the window holding a human head. He is STANDING IN THE WINDOW HOLDING A HUMAN HEAD!
Ross: Marcel. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Good boy. Good boy. C'mere, gimme the rice. (Marcel brings the rice) Thank you, good boy. Well, I see he's finally mastered the difference between 'bring me the' and 'pee in the'. (Rachel ignores him) 'Bring me the' and- Rach?
Rachel: What?! Wait a minute! No wait a minute! (She does so.) Okay? Look, that night was the one wild thing I have ever done in my entire life, and Im not gonna let you take that away from me! Okay, so if you dont remember that, maybe you will remember this! (She grabs Melissa and kisses her on the lips.)
Joey: Man, we gotta do something about that guy. This morning, I caught him looking into our apartment. It creeps me out! I feel like I can't do stuff!
Joey: And I was tired from digging the huge hole!
Nancy: Oh, I never could do it.
Ross: Well, uh, uh, I don't know, okay, okay, how about with the, uh, with the baby's name?
Pete: Come on, you gotta admit that our relationship is ah, is hitting a new level now. Cause you used to be like the chef, and I was the customer, and now were like this-this couple that fights.
Chandler: Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
Joey: I'm sorry Pheebs, I just, y'know, I just wanted to do a good deed. Like-like you did with the babies.
Ross: (angrily) Ben! (Pause.) (Happily.) I mean, Ben! Ben!
Joey: Oh, what did I say?
Phoebe: I know but I'm having so much fun doing good deeds.
Ross: Im gonna get you to talk to Chandler.
Joey: Hmm, soup. (Pause.) I mean, noodle soup. I mean soup!
Monica: You sat back and let him have her, you didnt fight at all. Am I right? Do you want the same thing to happen with Emily?
Monica: Joey, I thought you were gonna try to be friends first!
CHANDLER: I don't, I hate Joseph, ok. I think he's a brown-nosing suck up.
Phoebe: I mean, well, 'cause when I was growing up, you know my dad left, and my mother died, and my stepfather went to jail, so I barely had enough pieces of parents to make one whole one. And here's this little baby who has like three whole parents who care about it so much that they're fighting over who gets to love it the most. And it's not even born yet. It's just, it's just the luckiest baby in the whole world. (pause) I'm sorry, you were fighting.
Rachel: Yeah, I did, but y'know what? I am really, really trying to cut back, y'know? (Laughs) Good luck, Rach.
Rachel: Yeah, sure. Umm, they didnt have poppy seed bagels, so I (Enters Joannas office and sees her handcuffed to her chair wearing nothing but a slip) Oh my word!
Phoebe: I was in charge of cups.
Joey: Well, may I ask for one example?
Phoebe: Im sorry, I-I-I-I dont live here anymore. I-I didnt know how to tell you, but y'know everybody else knows!
Phoebe: I dont know, I dont know, I dont know. You know, I mean, on the one hand, Mother may I? But yknow on the other hand No. No, I cant. Were friends. No, oh, no. I dont want to risk what we have.
Rachel: All right, would-would you mind just not going out with him again? Okay, just the idea of you and he and all these women, its justAnd I know hes my assistant and I cant date himbut it just bothers me, all right?!
Chandler: (to Kim and Nancy) Oh, hi! Excuse me, is uh Rachel Green here? I was supposed to meet her for lunch.
Chandler: I was not flirting.
Chandler: Im gonna say this for the last time. Would you please just (He moves his arm which opens the drawer and hits in the back of the head, which proves his point.)
Chandler: I was not flirting.
Ross: (happily again) You were worried about me? You didn't know how I was going to react? (He hugs them both.)
Chandler: I was not and oh God, shh!
Chandler: Well you know that thing you said before, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued.
Ross: Uh actually, I think I'm gonna skip it.
Joey: Yeah, I uh weighted like 27 pounds when I was born so
Monica: So umm, when I was in the shower I was thinking about our first night in London
Phoebe: But I like it here!
Monica: You better believe he's tired, after the day we had! If you know what I mean. You know what I mean?
Rachel: Oh, this is great! I am gonna call him right now! (Jumps up.) Oh, thank you!
Rachel: Because I lose her stuff!
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, look, just don't freak out, but I kinda lost it. I know it's in the apartment, but I definitely lost it.
Ross: Of course he is! What, do you think Id just use my son as-as an excuse? What kind of father do you think I am?
Rachel: Oh boy, I just can't watch. It's too scary!
Ross: You understand I don't actually like 8-year-old boys.
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)
Ross: I'll get it! I will get that! (Runs over and opens the door.)
Monica: Still, I was quick as a cat.
Mrs. Bing: I am famished. What do I want... (Looks at Chandler's menu)
Chandler: You dont turn and slide, you throw it out! Im tired of having to get a tetanus shot every time I get dressed!
Chandler: I also want you to remember that I let you live here rent free!
Monica: Sure! It doesn't mean anything! Just like I know it doesn't mean anything with you!
Joey: (drinks from the glass and puts it back in the fridge) Yep, it's fat. I drank fat!
Monica: Anyway, were really excited about our wedding plans, and well I guess pretty soon well be making a big withdrawal from the Monica wedding fund. (Chandler and her laugh, but her parents dont.) What?
Monica: Joey, I think you should consider something a little less risky. I mean, I think in this market, real estate is your best investment.The Fed. just lowered the rates and the interest on your mortgage is totally deductible. (looks at Chandler) That's right, I know some stuff!
Chandler: You are incredible. Unless, I�I�m not gonna smoke again. And if I do, I promise, I will hide it so much better from you. (they kiss)
Joey: Soon, soon, I'm gonna be on soon. There I am! (Points to the screen, of course it isn't him.)
Richard: Oh, Im sorry. (Introduces them.) Lisa, (nodding at each) Monica, Chandler. We used to date.
Joey: (angrily entering, to Chandler) Can I talk to you for a second?!
Paul: Well, ever-ev-... ever since she left me, um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform. (Monica takes a sip of her drink.) ...Sexually.
Phoebe: Ohh! I did not get that.
Phoebe: I saw it.
Joey: (To Ross in the kitchen) All right, it's another commercial; I still haven't told her!
Joey: I know, I know! What am I going to do? (Thinks) Ooh!
Joey: So youre playing a little Playstation, huh? Thats whack! Playstation is whack! Sup with the whack Playstation, sup?! Huh? Come on, am I 19 or what?!
Ross: I dont know what youre talking about.
Phoebe: I suppose I could tell her it's just all my fault.
Rachel: I don't know, I don't know.
Phoebe: I will replace it, I promise. I feel so terrible.
Phoebe: Umm, Im talking about that which you already know but wont admit. You love her again; you re-love her!
Ross: Oh Ill prove it! Ill prove it like a theorem!!
Monica: (to Phoebe) Oh my God! Did you hear that? She hired me because she thinks Im good.
Ross: I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make this kind of a decision? (They're all quiet.) I'm actually asking you!
Caitlin: I just, I thought Joey was there.
Rachel: Well, I don't get it, but she wanted me to give you her phone number. (Hands him the slip of paper with the phone number on it.)