words in movies
Rachel: I know, it's huge, and it's scary, and it's... really far, far away from you guys, but this is such an incredible opportunity for me. And I've already talked to them about our situation with Emma, and they said they'll do whatever we need to make us feel comfortable.
Rachel: I mean, I'll fly back and forth, they'll fly you out... Anything we want.
Chandler: My boss said I might be getting a new lamp in my cubicle. (Monica looks at him and can't really place what he just said)
Rachel: I think it is. (Ross looks very sad. Phoebe and Joey enter.)
Rachel: I got a really incredible job offer.
Joey: Well, it comes and goes. I wouldn't trust it.
Chandler: I see.
Ross: Well, Rachel moving to another country? Not being able to see her every day. How can I be okay with this?
Monica: I know, but what are we gonna do? She really needs this job.
Ross: I don't know. I could talk to her boss. Yeah! I met him at that Christmas party. We really hit it off.
Ross: I didn't say we were brothers.
Monica: Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't.
Phoebe: Well, I think that shirt makes you look like you should work at a Baskin Robbins... Anyway... Hey, isn't Joey's agent Estelle Leonard?
Phoebe: Yeah, last Saturday. Wow! She was the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic. (Chandler and Monica look puzzled) Oh, wait a minute, I read the wrong one.
Chandler: I know. *He* always wanted to be the first black man to cross the Atlantic.
Chandler: Unless Snoopy says it to Charlie Brown, I think we're okay.
Mr Zelner: Uh... What can I do for you?
Ross: Oh, no. At first I have to get you to agree. Then we'll see if she wants to come back.
Ross: (surprised) Huh, I took a shot there.
Mr Zelner: But I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do... Ah, it's not true, there is... nothing I want to do.
Ross: I see... Thanks very much. (he gets up and walks to the door. On his way out he looks at the photographs Mr Zelner has near his door. He picks one up.) Is this your son?
Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. (Mr. Zellner looks shocked). I just heard it as you must have heard it and that’s not good. Let me start again. I’m a paleontologist, you’ll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones… fossils!
Mr Zelner: Well, I guess having Rachel back wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
Ross: Yeah! Yes! Thank you! This is great. Thank you so much. And I swear, your kid is going to have the time of his life.
Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs.
Joey: I’m just mad at my agent.
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Phoebe: I’m guessing she does.
Joey: Well (taking his cell phone out of a pocket) I’m wanna hear it, because she keeps doing this.
Phoebe: Well, no, no, wait, wait, wait. All right, I gotta go. Just listen. Promise me, that you will wait a minute before you call her.
Joey: I love that saying!
Joey: I was just gonna call you! That’s weird.
Phoebe-Estelle: It’s a little coincidental, but believable. (Joey nods in agreement). Listen, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t get you an audition for that TV movie.
Joey: Yeah, actually I am!
Phoebe-Estelle: I guess I dropped the ball there. Whoopsie!
Joey: No, no, look. All I’m saying is that you’re my agent, ok? And you’re not getting me into any auditions and I’m tired of it.
Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone).
Rachel: Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing. They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back! I mean, that place must have been falling apart without me.
Rachel: No, I’m still going.
Lady: Oh, sure. I’m showing it to someone else right now, but please, look around.
Lady: Well, we already have one offer on it, and I think the lady upstairs is goning to make another one.
Joey: Yeah, I just… I just feel bad about firing Estelle. This is got to be killing her.
Joey: I don’t know. She’s got to be taking it hard, I was like her only client. Except for this guy who eats paper. And I’m guessing he eats more money than he makes. Look, I know she’s not a great agent, but she did stick with me for ten years. I’m gonna call her and hire her again.
Joey: I promise. And that means, never having to give a reason. (Phoebe stops herself from laughing and leaves)
Chandler: And yet I never run into Beyonce!
Monica: (looks confused and scared) I don't know why.
Janice: Ooh, that decides it then. I was on the fence. But knowing that you two would be our neighbors? Ah! now we have to get it! (Chandler and Monica are utterly shocked) Ellen, we're going to talk numbers. (Grabs Ellen by her elbow and pulls her outside)
Chandler: That is a great idea! And by the way, I don't mean to sound distasteful, but when did you start crapping money!?
Monica: Okay, but if we don't get this house, she's stil gonna show up wherever we go! I mean, at least if she's here, it eliminates the element of suprise. I mean, never again will you have to hear the three words that make your balls jump back up inside your body. (She shows this with her index finger, mimicking it pushing something up)
Ross: (enters) It's me. Ron. (Mr. Zellner looks annoyed) Look, I um, I now Rachel turned you down but I think there is a way you might be able to get her to come back.
Ross: Perhaps I can persuade you. What if you can give your son this (Takes a huge egg out of his back) genuine pterodactyl egg (whispers) replica.
Mr Zelner: (looks at Ross, for a long moment, confused) I meant with my son.
Phoebe: Yeah, I wanted to call and tell you that there's no hard feelings for firing me.
Joey: (still scared) Ok-ay. I just, I can't believe you're calling me?
Phoebe: Well, I didn't think I should just drop by...
Joey: Can I ask you something? Uhm, what's it like there?
Phoebe: (Looks around) It's alright. Look kiddo, I gotta go. Good luck with the career. You're gonna be huge.
Janice: All right, I got to run. Tell Monica I say goodbye. And... I'll see you later, neighbor. (Janice laugh)
Chandler: Wait! I just want you to know that... I'm so happy you're going to be here.
Chandler: I never stopped loving you.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I want you... I need you... I must have you Janice Litman Goralnik Neihosenstein.
Janice: I don't know what to say... I mean, you know, obviously we have this... heat between us.
Janice: But I love my husband. And I know you love your wife. Now, I don't think we should get this house now.
Chandler: I understand.
Rachel: Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. Zelner called me and he said we'll do everything we can to get you back. And that I should thank some Ron... I don't even know what department that guy's in.
Rachel: Well, I took it.
Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example)
Ross: Uhm, I hadn't no you... I had no idea you were so excited about Paris. Uhm, I mean, you said you were scared.
Rachel: Well yeah, but I mean, it was good scared though, you know? Like when I-moved-to-New-York scared. Or uhm, when I-found-out-I-was-gonna-have-Emma scared... But this is... fine. This is gonna be good. (they both stare around)
Ross: I really do.
Rachel: But I already told Zelner that I would come back...
Joey: Yeah, yeah, I guess.
Joey: What am I gonna do, I feel like I'm losing my friends.
Mackenzie: I read a lot.
Man: Hey Rach, I just heard. I'm so sorry.
Rachel: Oh come on, what are you talking about? Youve got three years painting houses. Two whole summers at T.G.I. Fridays, come on!
Ross: I hate that guy.
Maitre d': I know. With Gukki
Ross: I'm serious. I just don't trust that guy, okay?
Chandler: Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. And she said"No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there." And I said "Maybe if we put some light out there they will"
Joey: What? I get my own room?
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
Joey: All right!! Okay, it was like four years ago. Okay, Ginger and I had gone out a few times, and then this one weekend, we went up to her Dads cabin. Just me, her, and her annoying little dog Pepper. Well that night, I cooked this really romantic dinner....
Monica: I guess. Why? Who's she with?
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Mr. Geller: (ignoring her) Well, Id gotten Judy pregnant. I still dont know that happened.
Chandler: I said it first, bro.
Joey: No idea! But the guy I said it to dies in the next scene so I guess it means "you're gonna get eaten by a bear".
Janice: Oh well thats what I thought about my first husband, now Im lucky if my kid gets to spend the weekend with her father and the twins and little Ms. New Boobs.
Ross: (entering) Pheebs, you mind if I speak to Rachel alone for a sec?
Ross: I justI-I cant believe shes-shes dating?!
Monica: Alright, we don't know that it's him. I mean, it could be the football guy.
Rachel: Ohh! Lucky me! Oh my God! That is good news, Ross! I think that's the best news I've heard since Le Poo died!
Monica: Oh, you know, my flock is good, I mean, yeah, my flock pretty much takes care of themselves at this point. Good flock. Flock, flock, flock.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)
Ross: Rach, thanks but uh, I don't need you doing me any favors.
Chandler: No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, youd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Yknow its hard enough to be fourteen. Youre skinny. Youre wearing speedoesThat your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and theres your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack!
Chandler: Huh! So that's what I would look like if I worked out... and was being serviced by a policeman. You're not actually going to send these out are ya?
Erica: You're kidding me? I mean, it's enough that you are a doctor. But on top of it, you're married to a reverend?
Chandler: No, no, Ross and Rachel will be back soon and then I gotta go to the office (Pulls another balloon out of his mouth) Am I producing them?
Emily: She said, "If Im not gonna be happy getting married somewhere that we find in a day, well then we should just postpone it."
Phoebe: Yes. Yes. Yes. I cant believe it! The baby wants bologna! Maybe he wants me to eat meat? I cant eat meat!
Rachel: I know, I know, and you were right Ross. (To Amy) You are soo irresponsible I am never letting you baby-sit ever again!
Chandler: Well he doesnt have to know! Its not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys, and he stars in a drag show in Vegas.
Ross: Okay, and oh Im gonna need a bunch of extra keys. Apparently I give them away for no reason at all.
Chandler: Good, good. Listen, heh, I dunno what Shelley told you about me, but, uh... I'm not.
Rachel: (she enters wearing a bath-robe) Hey... Hi you guys! Listen, you know what? I'm not feeling really well. I think I can't get out for the play.
Chandler: Yknow what? I dont trust you with this cake anymore! And I got it first, and Im takin it back! (Grabs the cheesecake and heads for his apartment.)
Ross: (to the guys) I gotta go make a fake Ben.
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look. I take a girl out, she can order whatever she wants! The more, the better! All right? Just don’t order a Garden salad and then eat my food! That’s a good way to lose some fingers!
Phoebe: (Under her breath) God, I woke the beast. Sorry. (To Monica) I was wrong obviously, I justI misspoke. It's okay.
Monica: This is not, what I�m wearing. I�m ovulating and Chandler�s gonna be home any minute, so I thought we would try before dinner.
Joey: You know what? You are my friends, I wanna be supportive, I will come with you. SHOTGUN!
Phoebe: Wrong again! Apparently you can change it to anything you want. So I thought, all right, here's an opportunity to be creative. So meet Princess Consuela Banana Hammock.
Phoebe: Oh, she's that work of art I made, you know, with the woman coming out of the frame.
Joanna: Oh, I know and hes soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through.
Joey: All right, all right, all right, let's play one more time, ok? And remember, if I win you do not move to Paris.
Dr. Long: Ill be back in an hour to check you again.
Rachel: Well uh, his answering machine was very understanding. Ugh. I feel blue.
Rachel: Im not asking you to go on a date with him!
Joey: Hey bear, I need some career advice.
Monica: Oh my God! I have nothing left to teach you! (they hug)
Monica: Oh, yeah, right! And after I took a shower this morning I just threw my towel on the floor! Oh God, it hurts to even joke about it.
Rachel: Shoot. Oh, I can't believe I did this!
Phoebe: Okay, this is going to be harder than I thought. Umm, lets try some uh, aversion therapy.
Amy: Since today... I am going to be a baby stylist.
Erica: I know.
Ross: Right, no, I understand.
Rachel: I think, if it was a little colder in here I could see your nipples through that sweater.
Ross: No, no, I knew (he stares at her breasts).
Chandler: If I untangle you, will you please get rid of the corn rose?
Monica: Oh, I know. I know. Hey, you know, you can take it if you want! The lease is still in Nana's name.
Joey: Try it, I can't feel a thing! (Ross starts punching him too)
Mrs. Geller: Chandler! Youve been Rosss best friend all these years, stuck by him during the drug problems. (Ross gets disgusted.) And now youve taken on Monica as well. Well, I dont know what to say. Youre a wonderful human being.
Rachel: You know what? I don't want to be with them either, but it's Thanksgiving and we should not want to be together, together. (Goes to unlock the door)
Chandler: I didn't know Monica had these!
David: Allright... But... if I ever do come back from Minsk... (points at Mike) well, you just better watch out.
Joey: What did I just say?
Ross: (panting)They're towing a car. And I am seeing...spots.
Joey: I forgot to pick up my dry cleaning!
Phoebe: I know.
Hoshi: You are iron. You are steel! Let me ask you something, how come when I call your computer support line, I have to wait an hour and a half?
Joey: Huh, if I had to guess I'd say Rachel is putting on the bubble wrap and Phoebe is doing the punching.
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, I don't even know where to start.
JOEY: Wow!� That didn't take long.� I thought you said Tulsa was, like a three hour flight.
Rachel: I love you Phoebe.
Joey: That's true. But you know what, it doesn't matter because I already know who you're gonna go home with tonight.
Monica: I know what you mean. You're like a sister to me too.
Monica: (having the same problem) You're the best friend I ever had.
Joey: I really made you think about that thing uh?
Chandler: I think these are yours.
Rachel: (to Chandler) Can I talk to you alone for a minute?
Ross: I don't think so.
Chandler: You know me sir. Oh ah, I do have a question for ya. Do you know how I get around the office computer network so I can access the really good Internet porn?
Chandler: Let me just say something... Because once we get into this, I'm gonna get all uncomfortable and probably make some stupid joke... I just want to say that I... I love you... And, I'm gonna miss you. And I'm so sad that you're leaving.
Joey: Yeah, I guess, but whats like heads and whats tails?
Rachel: I think I'm gonna take off. (pats Ross on his back, but he looks very surprised)
Monica: (to Ross) So, I guess you're next. You're ready?
Phoebe: Ok, I'll fight for her. Ok! Oh, wait, oh I just realized... if I do that, that means you don't get her.
Rachel: Oh, you guys. This was an amazing night. Thank you so much. I love you. Good night.
Ross: No, I don't think so.
Chandler: Look, I appreciate it, but uh, its a little creepy. Yknow? Im not a bachelor anymore.
Ross: What? I don't get a goodbye?
Ross: THE HELL I DO!
Ross: I don't get a goodbye?
Monica: I hope Ross isn't too upset.
Joey: I'm sure he's not more bummed out than I am.
Rachel: No, come on, I'm totally ok. (hugging him) I don't need you to come! I can totally handle this on my own.
Phoebe: Yeah? I know! I know! Uh huh? Listen why dont we just um, sit and relax? You know just be with each other. Quietly!
Phoebe: All right, I think I'm gonna head out.
Chandler: Joey and I can finish up in the guest room.