words in movies
Rachel: I know, it's huge, and it's scary, and it's... really far, far away from you guys, but this is such an incredible opportunity for me. And I've already talked to them about our situation with Emma, and they said they'll do whatever we need to make us feel comfortable.
Rachel: I mean, I'll fly back and forth, they'll fly you out... Anything we want.
Chandler: My boss said I might be getting a new lamp in my cubicle. (Monica looks at him and can't really place what he just said)
Rachel: I think it is. (Ross looks very sad. Phoebe and Joey enter.)
Rachel: I got a really incredible job offer.
Joey: Well, it comes and goes. I wouldn't trust it.
Chandler: I see.
Ross: Well, Rachel moving to another country? Not being able to see her every day. How can I be okay with this?
Monica: I know, but what are we gonna do? She really needs this job.
Ross: I don't know. I could talk to her boss. Yeah! I met him at that Christmas party. We really hit it off.
Ross: I didn't say we were brothers.
Monica: Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't.
Phoebe: Well, I think that shirt makes you look like you should work at a Baskin Robbins... Anyway... Hey, isn't Joey's agent Estelle Leonard?
Phoebe: Yeah, last Saturday. Wow! She was the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic. (Chandler and Monica look puzzled) Oh, wait a minute, I read the wrong one.
Chandler: I know. *He* always wanted to be the first black man to cross the Atlantic.
Chandler: Unless Snoopy says it to Charlie Brown, I think we're okay.
Mr Zelner: Uh... What can I do for you?
Ross: Oh, no. At first I have to get you to agree. Then we'll see if she wants to come back.
Ross: (surprised) Huh, I took a shot there.
Mr Zelner: But I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do... Ah, it's not true, there is... nothing I want to do.
Ross: I see... Thanks very much. (he gets up and walks to the door. On his way out he looks at the photographs Mr Zelner has near his door. He picks one up.) Is this your son?
Ross: How would he like to come with me to the Museum of Natural History after everyone else has left, just the two of us, and he can touch anything he wants. (Mr. Zellner looks shocked). I just heard it as you must have heard it and that’s not good. Let me start again. I’m a paleontologist, you’ll be there with us and the touching refers only to bones… fossils!
Mr Zelner: Well, I guess having Rachel back wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
Ross: Yeah! Yes! Thank you! This is great. Thank you so much. And I swear, your kid is going to have the time of his life.
Mr Zelner: That’s great. I worry about little Ross. He’s always reading, he's collecting rocks and he’s obsessed with dinosaurs.
Joey: I’m just mad at my agent.
Joey: There’s a part in a TV movie that I would be perfect for and I didn’t even be put up for it! She’d better have a good reason.
Phoebe: I’m guessing she does.
Joey: Well (taking his cell phone out of a pocket) I’m wanna hear it, because she keeps doing this.
Phoebe: Well, no, no, wait, wait, wait. All right, I gotta go. Just listen. Promise me, that you will wait a minute before you call her.
Joey: I love that saying!
Joey: I was just gonna call you! That’s weird.
Phoebe-Estelle: It’s a little coincidental, but believable. (Joey nods in agreement). Listen, I’m sure you’re wondering why I didn’t get you an audition for that TV movie.
Joey: Yeah, actually I am!
Phoebe-Estelle: I guess I dropped the ball there. Whoopsie!
Joey: No, no, look. All I’m saying is that you’re my agent, ok? And you’re not getting me into any auditions and I’m tired of it.
Joey: I’m saying that… (pause). This isn't working for me anymore, ok? Estelle, you’re fired. Goodbye. (he hangs up the phone).
Rachel: Yee. I mean, it was so weirdest thing. They fired me and then out of nowhere they just hire me back! I mean, that place must have been falling apart without me.
Rachel: No, I’m still going.
Lady: Oh, sure. I’m showing it to someone else right now, but please, look around.
Lady: Well, we already have one offer on it, and I think the lady upstairs is goning to make another one.
Joey: Yeah, I just… I just feel bad about firing Estelle. This is got to be killing her.
Joey: I don’t know. She’s got to be taking it hard, I was like her only client. Except for this guy who eats paper. And I’m guessing he eats more money than he makes. Look, I know she’s not a great agent, but she did stick with me for ten years. I’m gonna call her and hire her again.
Joey: I promise. And that means, never having to give a reason. (Phoebe stops herself from laughing and leaves)
Chandler: And yet I never run into Beyonce!
Monica: (looks confused and scared) I don't know why.
Janice: Ooh, that decides it then. I was on the fence. But knowing that you two would be our neighbors? Ah! now we have to get it! (Chandler and Monica are utterly shocked) Ellen, we're going to talk numbers. (Grabs Ellen by her elbow and pulls her outside)
Chandler: That is a great idea! And by the way, I don't mean to sound distasteful, but when did you start crapping money!?
Monica: Okay, but if we don't get this house, she's stil gonna show up wherever we go! I mean, at least if she's here, it eliminates the element of suprise. I mean, never again will you have to hear the three words that make your balls jump back up inside your body. (She shows this with her index finger, mimicking it pushing something up)
Ross: (enters) It's me. Ron. (Mr. Zellner looks annoyed) Look, I um, I now Rachel turned you down but I think there is a way you might be able to get her to come back.
Ross: Perhaps I can persuade you. What if you can give your son this (Takes a huge egg out of his back) genuine pterodactyl egg (whispers) replica.
Mr Zelner: (looks at Ross, for a long moment, confused) I meant with my son.
Phoebe: Yeah, I wanted to call and tell you that there's no hard feelings for firing me.
Joey: (still scared) Ok-ay. I just, I can't believe you're calling me?
Phoebe: Well, I didn't think I should just drop by...
Joey: Can I ask you something? Uhm, what's it like there?
Phoebe: (Looks around) It's alright. Look kiddo, I gotta go. Good luck with the career. You're gonna be huge.
Janice: All right, I got to run. Tell Monica I say goodbye. And... I'll see you later, neighbor. (Janice laugh)
Chandler: Wait! I just want you to know that... I'm so happy you're going to be here.
Chandler: I never stopped loving you.
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I want you... I need you... I must have you Janice Litman Goralnik Neihosenstein.
Janice: I don't know what to say... I mean, you know, obviously we have this... heat between us.
Janice: But I love my husband. And I know you love your wife. Now, I don't think we should get this house now.
Chandler: I understand.
Rachel: Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. Zelner called me and he said we'll do everything we can to get you back. And that I should thank some Ron... I don't even know what department that guy's in.
Rachel: Well, I took it.
Rachel: Yeah, you know, was I looking forward to going to Paris? Sure. You know, was I excited about working in the fashion capital of the world? Ooh, absolutely... Oh...! Yeah, but you know, this is... it's fine. I'm fine going back to a job where I've pretty much gotten everything out of that I possibly can... (she sits down, and Ross who is stunned to hear all this follows her example)
Ross: Uhm, I hadn't no you... I had no idea you were so excited about Paris. Uhm, I mean, you said you were scared.
Rachel: Well yeah, but I mean, it was good scared though, you know? Like when I-moved-to-New-York scared. Or uhm, when I-found-out-I-was-gonna-have-Emma scared... But this is... fine. This is gonna be good. (they both stare around)
Ross: I really do.
Rachel: But I already told Zelner that I would come back...
Rachel: Can I ask you something?
JOEY: Maybe they do. I've been doin' this ten years and I haven't gotten anywhere. There's gotta be a reason.
The Porsche Owner: Listen, I-I-I dont come to this city much so I dont know if youre crazy or this is some kind of street theater, but could I have my keys.
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
Rachel: Okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay-okay! I got it! I got it! I got it! I cant! I cant! I cant! I cannot go with you and my sister thing. Okay? I just cant. Its just too weird, all right? I imagine the two of you together and I freak out. It freaks me out. I cant do it! I cant do it.
Rachel: Thank you. (He leaves and she proceeds to plant the folder in his bottom drawer. She then picks up the phone and holds it to her breasts.) Hello? (Hangs up the phone.) I still dont get it.
Monica: I know that youre new at this, but this is completely unacceptable bath decorum.
Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If its gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it.
Rachel: Ill take that bet.
Rachel: Well, Im miserable here! I might as well make some money out it!
Rachel: No, forget it! No way! I am not sending anymore Ralph Lauren clothes to prison. It is a waste.
Rachel: Oh honey, dont worry. I really do feel like tomorrows the day.
Ross: I chose those, Im a paleontologist.
Chandler: Im so sorry.
Chandler: Where have you been?! I tried to call you! I want to talk to you! I still feel so bad!
Joey: Give me a number, I dont want to owe you anything!
Amy: Oh I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible? If you guys died.
Joey: Its not just the stuff he paid for, I mean its-its everything. Yknow? He read lines with me. He-he went with me on auditions when I was really nervous, and then he consoled me after I didnt get parts that I really wanted. You always believed in me man. Even, even when I didnt believe in myself.
Chandler: You dont owe me anything, I dont want you money
Guru Saj: (entering) Hello, I am Guru Saj-(sees the duck)-Whoa!! (to Joey) Thats supposed to be a duck right? Cause otherwise, this is waaay out of my league.
Chandler: I was surprised to see a kangaroo in a World War I epic.
Rachel: All right, I gotta go to bed. Honey, I had such a wonderful time.
Ross: This is insane, Im not gonna make love to you just so that youll go into labor.
Rachel: Ross IWe tried all the spicy food. Its not working.
Doug: Oh yeah-yeah-yeah, yknow I did it and I felt a hell of a lot better and if you whip it just right you might hit a seagull in the head.
Rachel: Oh, I know it. Youre right. Thats not sexy. Oh Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but cant quite seem to make it.) Oh God!
Ross: I love when you talk dirty to me.
Monica: Yes! Every year Ross makes the toast, and its always really moving, and always makes them cry. Well this year Im going to make them cry.
Rachel: Come on Ross! Im miserable here! Come on! You started this, now you finish it! Come on wuss, make love to me.
Ross: Oh, I know.
Rachel: Oh no. No-no! I think my water just broke.
Rachel: Okay! I got the keys! Okay! Okay!
Ross: Im getting that baby out of you!
Ross: I am good. Okay! Okay! Uh, I got the pillow! I got the bag! You got the keys?
Ross: Oh nothing. Nothing! Just uh, youve been a little short with me lately. Im not trying to irritate you.
Trudie Styler: So, I guess you and I should talk about Jack and Ben right now.
Monica: The strange part was, he was really nice, umm and he looks great, but I didn't feel anything at all!
Rachel: Well, I dont know about that, but some said that I looked like a floating angel.
Phoebe: No, its not! We were just goofing around and I dared him to try them on.
Part I Written by: Scott Silveri Part II Written by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman Parts I & II Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
Ross: Okay! Okay! Fine, Ill stop! No teaching, okay? Well just watch the pretty light streaking across the sky. (Comets dont streak across the sky, meteors do.) Okay? Whos official name is Bapstein-King.
Rachel: Okay. Um ButOkay, yes Ross and I used to date. And yes we are gonna have a baby. But we are definitely not getting back together.
Ross: I really think theyre out of rooms.
Rachel: (interrupting her) Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Im sorry, semi-private? We (Laughs), we asked for a private room.
Rachel: No-no-no, no, honey please, Ive got, Ive just have so much to deal with.
Rachel: Theyre not!! Ross, theyre just saving them for the important people!! Okay?! What-what if I was the president?!
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
Nurse: Im sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have.
Phoebe: I have new respect for Chandler. All right everybody! Its time to open the presents!
Rachel: Thank you. (Dr. Long exits.) Well, I guess we have some time to kill.
Joey: Okay, its an audio question, name this television theme song. (Starts humming the theme to I Dream of Genie.)
Phoebe: Five minutes ago, a line like that wouldve floored me. Now nothing. Well, not nothing, I am still a woman.
Ross: Hi! Hi, Im uh Ross. Im here to ruin this magical day for you.
Rachel: Oh no, I really dont want any(He takes the picture)Oh! Thank you. Oh. Oh Ross
Julie: Oh honey, I think Im having one too!
Mona: No, I mean it. There are so few genuinely nice guys out there.
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
Chandler: Okay. Ive been thinking about it too, and I, I think were ready.
Will: Im a commodities broker.
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
KID: Hi. Uh, did I accidentally drop a condom in your case? It's kind of an emergency.
Janice: Oh. Oh I just cannot believe Clark stood me up!
Ross: Hey, both you guys should be up there with me. I mean, you two are-are my I mean, Im lucky to have just one good (They all start getting emotional.)
Rachel: (simultaneously as Ross) No, I dont think well be doing that.
Ross: Oh uh, Im sorry. (Runs out.)
Rachel: Did I say I was done guessing? Okay, thank you for that. Oh wow! Whats this?
Rachel: Hey! Hey, Pheebs, check it out. Yeah, for my desert, I have chosen to make a traditional English truffle!
Rachel: Im just kidding! You can go pee! (He does so in a hurry.)
Mrs. Geller: (entering) Am I interrupting?
Rachel: Yes, and I know that youd say no if he asked you, but Im sorry; how great would you look walking down the aisle in this Donna Carin. (shows her the picture.)
Ross: Mom, yknow what? I-I cant deal with this right now. Im sorry
Phoebe: I know!
Ross: Um, that is because my doctor says that I have a very serious.... nuget.... diffency.
Phoebe: I do! I do! I do! (Chases her into the hall, but Rachel doesnt stop.) I do! (Gives up.) Ugh, like I can really chase you. Im carrying a litter.
Ross: No-no, Im Im sure no one was looking. Just want some privacy. (He closes the screen and stares wide-eyed at Rachel.)
Ross: Well uh, yknow what? Even if she doesnt know anything, I do! I have a son. And his mother and I didnt live together, and whenever he was with me I took care of him all the time, by myself.
Ross: Umm. Umm, Im-Im just gonna(Closes the privacy screen.)
Monica: Well maybe Im ready now. I mean, its a little scary, but maybe its right.
Chandler: Im not crazy about babies. Im crazy about us.
Chandler: Im kidding. This is going to be fun.
Monica: So were gonna try? I mean, are we trying?
Joey: Hey I got one! I got one!
Ross: (on tape) I know. Hey remember remember the night they got engaged? How uh, you and I almost
Phoebe: All right, Ill see you downstairs then.
Phoebe: Sure! I feel so bad for you; I broke my leg once too.
Chandler: (in a serious, businesslike tone) Rachel, could I see you for a moment?
Ross: Yeah but Pottery Barn! Yknow what I think? Its just she-shes weird. Yknow its because shes a twin. Twins are weird.
Nurse: I think I know who youre talking about.
Rachel: Ross, you stay here and talk, Im gonna go have a baby.
Monica: I think we found a place.
The Cooking Teacher: Oh Alessandros! I love that place!
Chandler: Okay, okay, but dont worry, because we also have cereals, muffins, waffles, and, jams, jellies, and marmalades. Which Im fairly certain are the same thing.
Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself <Ross and Rachel knock on wood> um you wouldn't get the baby.
Phoebe: Yeah! How would you like it if I sent you to Lee Majors house and told you that he liked you, and you went down there and you found out that he didnt like you? How would you feel?
Phoebe: Yes, while I was in the chair! Thats why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, its not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives!
Monica: No, a guy would be saying, "Im never gonna get to sleep with anyone else." Oh my God! Im never gonna get to sleep with anyone else! Ive been so busy planning the wedding that I forgot about all the things that Id be giving up! I mean, I Im never gonna have a first kiss again.
Phoebe: W-wI justits thatI haveyknow I have-I have an appointment. And its very important.
Cliff: Im 33.
FBOB: OK, look, this isn't the first time somebody's said something to me about this, but, I don't know... I always made excuses about it, like... uhhh... 'I'm just a social drinker,' or, 'C'mon, it's Flag Day.'
Joey: Oh thats terrible. Im-Im really sorry.