words in movies
CHANDLER: Alright, alright, but you better be wearing clothes when I open my eyes.
JOEY: I know.
PHOEBE: I can't believe two cows made the ultimate sacrifice so you guys could watch TV with your feet up.
ROSS: This screen is amazing, I mean Dick Van Dyke is practically life-size.
ROSS: [beeper goes off] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to get to the museum. So um, I'll see you tonight.
RACHEL: God, oh God Monica, I forgot. This is our first date.
PHOEBE: OK, I can be a waitress, I can be a waitress.
PHOEBE: I can be a waitress. OK watch this. Um, gimme two number ones, 86 the bacon, one Adam and Eve on a raft and rick'em, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la.
DR. BURKE: Ah, that's OK, come on in. Um, I'm sorry, is Monica Geller coming? I was told she was.
DR. BURKE: Monica? My God you used to be so. . . I mean you, you, you, you must have lost like. . . You look great.
DR. BURKE: Oh, well obviously you know Barbara and I split up, otherwise you wouldn't have done the head tilt.
DR. BURKE: Yeah, since the divorce, when anybody asks me how I am, it's always with a sympathetic head tilt. [demonstrating] 'How ya doin'? You OK?'
DR. BURKE: No no, it, it's fine, believe me. I do it too. I always answer with the 'I'm OK' head bob. [demonstrates] 'I'm OK.' [tilts head] 'You sure?' [bobs head] 'Yeah, I'm fine.' Hey listen, I've got to set up the music. I got a new CD changer, of course the divorce only left me with 4 CD's to change.
CHANDLER: Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
DR. BURKE: Only because my parents wanted me to be, I wanted to be a sherrif.
PHOEBE: [entering the kitchen from the party] That's funny, no. Cadillac, cataract, I get it, no I get it, you stay out there.
MONICA: I am not.
MONICA: Dr. Burke? I don't think so. I mean, like, he's a grown up.
MONICA: Not never. I mean, I'm gonna see him tomorrow at my eye appointment.
ROSS: I told you there was going to be sub-titles.
RACHEL: I know, I just didn't want to wear my glasses on my first date.
RACHEL: Well it's not, honey I'm sorry, I guess I'm just nervous. I mean, it's you, ya know, it's us. I mean, we're crossing that line, sort of a big thing.
ROSS: I, I know it's big, I just didn't know it was uh, ha-ha big.
RACHEL: I know, I know, I know, I know. I was just thinking about when they were there the last time, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. OK, OK, look, woah, I promise, I'm good, I'm not gonna laugh anymore. OK put your hands back there.
ROSS: No see now, now I can't because uh, I'm feeling too self conscious.
ROSS: Yeah. I don't know, I've been wanting this since like ninth grade typing, ya know. And I just want it to be perfect and right and. . . why isn't that laser beam cutting through the paint?
RACHEL: Hi. Listen, I was um, thinkin' about. . .
RACHEL: OK, listen, I'm sorry about last night and I really want to make it up to you.
RACHEL: Well, I was thinking maybe a um, a romantic dinner with um, candles and wine and then uh, maybe going back to my place for um, dessert.
ROSS: Humm, that sounds, I don't, perfect.
MONICA: Thanks. So, I guess I better be going.
PHOEBE: You guys are so pathetic, I, oh, OH, XANADU! OH.
ROSS: Oh, I promise, what.
ROSS: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.
ROSS: [his beeper goes off] It's the museum again, can I, oh.
RACHEL: When I was um, 7, I crashed my bike right out in front of his house and to stop me from crying he kissed me right here. [points to the tip of her nose]
RACHEL: I know.
ROSS: Oh look, I can't believe this. Look, homo-habilus hasn't even learned how to use tools yet and they've got him here wi, with clay pots. Why don't, why don't they just give him a microwave? I'm sorry, I'm sorry this is taking so long, ya know, I, I, it's just it's longer than I expected, we will have dinner.
MONICA: I thought she just had one.
MONICA: I don't know, maybe. I mean I'm dating a man who's pool I once peed in.
DR. BURKE: I didn't need to know that. I guess 21 years is a lot. I mean, hell, I'm a whole person who can drink older than you.
ROSS: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. RACHEL: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss] ROSS: You're not laughing. RACHEL: This time it's not so funny. [They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.] RACHEL: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. ROSS: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. RACHEL: Oh, thank God. [Scene: Museum of Natural History. The next morning Rachel and Ross are sleeping in the display under a fur.] ROSS: Hi. RACHEL: Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. ROSS: I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. RACHEL: What? ROSS: We're not alone. [A church youth group is outside the display watching them] CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are still in their chairs, watching Beavis and Butthead.] [they're laughing along with the show when an alarm goes off] JOEY: Is that the fire alarm? CHANDLER: Yeah. [feels the floor] Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. JOEY: Cool.
Rachel: This was such a huge mistake. I cant tell him Phoebe. I cant, I cant, I cant, I cant
Dr. Green: I have no idea, I went to the bathroom. So sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is uh, what is new with you.
Dr. Green: (laughs) Poppy. (To Phoebe) Oh, Im gonna be a poppy. (Stops laughing) So when is the wedding?
Mona: So, I gotta get going.
Ross: Well, I was gonna say sweet, but yeah-huh!
Ross: Well I I havent actually told her yet. I dont want to scare her off, yknow?
CHANDLER: [running out of his apartment after a girl] Ok, ok, you can be shirts and I'll be skins. I'll be skins. [sits down beside Rachel] Hey, how you holdin' up there, tiger? Oh, sorry, when my parents were getting divorced I got a lot of tigers. Got a lot of champs, chiefs, sports, I even got a governor.
Emily: I dont care! You just get him!
Chandler: All right fine! But Im only doing this for you!
Cecilia: All right Joey, I will help you. Not because I-I owe it to this stupid show, but because I owe it to Jessica.
Joey: Im gonna be an uncle! Come here! (He joins the hug.)
Chandler: Honey! Thats crazy! I dont want you to get me a stripper
Rachel: What, so I can't lokk nice? There might be doctors there.
Rachel: All right here he comes. Im gonna do this, Im gonna tell him, Im gonna be strong.
Monica: Please! I feel so bad! Just watch the hot woman get naked!
Joey: (on cell phone) Im sorry I gotta cancel tonight baby
Mr. Geller: Well, I used your boxes to divert water away from the Porsche.
Rachel: Im sorry daddy.
Rachel: Okay, okay, I checked. We have: Earl Grey, English Breakfast, Cinnamon Stick, Camomile, Mint Medley, Blackberry, and.. oh, wait, there's one more, um.. Lemon Soother. You're not the guy that asked for the tea, are you? (Guy shakes his head) Okay.
Rachel: I know. I know. I panicked, I panicked. I didnt want him to start yelling at me like I was some 74 Latour.
Monica: No, he's not. And if I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by... him or anyone else.
Dr. Green: I dont believe this!!
Ross: Oh I know, isn't it? Ooh... what'd you do to get her to laugh?
Monica: Yeah! I bet I can do it.
Rachel: Yes. Yes, he says Im damaged goods.
Ross: No, its not what I want either. I mean I-I cant force myself to fall in love with her again now.
Ross: Its Ben and his Da-Da. Da-Da? Can you say Da-Da? Yknow, you might as well say it because I told your
Stripper: Im waiting.
[Chandler makes a fake "I know I couldnt believe it either" gesture.]
Rachel: Well Umm, I got TiVo.
Rachel: Ewww. Yeah. Umm. I think Im gonna stay here.
Mona: Oh my God! Oh my God! Im so sorry!
Monica: Oh no, I already packed. The only thing I couldnt find though was your Speedo.
Mrs. Bing: Alright, well, be good, I love you. (Kisses him and goes to leave)
Ross: No! No sir umm, she means a lot to me. I mean, I careI-I love Rachel.
Ross: Im sorry. Dr. Green, Mona. Mona, Dr. Green.
Ross: (To Mona) But I didnt want to.
Ross: (to Mona) Oh but not that way. I mean I mean Im not in love with her. I love her like a, like a friend.
Rachel: Oh no, I know that. I know that. Although, we made a joke that we spend so much time together he should call me his work wife.
Chandler: I cant believe there is a naked hooker in there!
Hooker: Do you mind if I smoke in here?
Billy: Thomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me, and nobody else.
Ross: I was going to tell you, but
Joey: Youre right. Maybe I shouldnt even go on the call back.
Joey: Pantyhose! Yknow? They way they start at your toe and go all the way up to here (He mimed that and stops when he realized he went to far.) I should go take these off shouldnt I?
Ross: No! No! No! No! No! I-I-I-II need to, I need to lie down.
Rachel: I cant. Im busy. Im apartment hunting.
Joey: I miss this.
Joey: I dont want to. You do it!
Joey: You shut up! (To Phoebe and Rachel) I love arguing with her. (To Erin) Ill be right back.
Joey: Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it! (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Uh, okay uh let me call you back. (Hangs up.)
Chandler: (angrily) Did she call? You-you told her I was sick right? Always tell her I am sick!
Kim: Hi Rachel. Ohh, Ive been meaning to ask you. Have you seen the new Ralph Lauren sheets? Ohh, what am I thinking. Of course you have.
Chandler: Well yknow, things are different. Im Im married now.
Hooker: Oh God! Listen, I am this close to robbing you guys. (Does the close sign.)
Rachel: Well yeah, but then I remembered I started it and there was this pep rally and I was, I was on top of the pyramid but anywayumm, what is this book about?
Monica: Wow! Look at this! (Picking up a shirt.) I cant believe I even fit into this shirt! (She holds it up and it reads: Tyrannosaurus Ross.) (She turns it around and looks at it.) Oh, this is yours. (Hands it to Ross.)
Monica: I can't believe he did this.
Rachel: Ross Im so sorry. Okay. I-I will promise I will straighten this out with him tomorrow in person, or via e-mail.
Ross: No! I talked to Joey on the set, he hasnt heard from him. I-I-I talked to Chandlers parents again!
Rachel: All right, I promise. Ill fix this. I swear. Ill-Ill-Ill-Ill talk to her.
Monica: (depressed) Thats right. Im no longer a bride. Ill never be a bride again. Now, Im just someones wife!
ROSS: Not at all! I love this guy. Hey, I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister!
Ross: Should I leave this open for you too?
Phoebe: Ohh! All right! All right. Heres what well do, Ill get twice as drunk as Monica and then no ones will even notice her.
Mona: Im not sure yet. Why didnt you just tell me about all this?
Mona: Yknow, I-I-I just I dont want to get in the middle of something so complicated.
Mona: How can I be sure on that?
Chandler: I swallowed the sonic blaster gun.
Mona: Okay, I guess you can close the door now. (He does so and they kiss.)
Monica: Yknow what? Im gonna make this up to you. I promised you a stripper (turns on the radio), and youre gonna get a stripper. (She starts to strip.)
Monica: Ooh, these tennis shoes are so tight. I think Ill take them off. (Goes to do so.)
Phoebe: Ooh, if you take the northern route there's a man in Illinois with a beard of bees. {Okay, I must protest this, I've lived in Illinois all my life and know of no man with a beard of bees! Wisconsin, on the other hand, might be a different story.}
Joey: I didnt look at it. Stupid babys head was blocking most of it.
Ross: Oh, I am sorry, did you not like her, because I was hoping that we could come to one of your kissing parties onthe balcony.
Ross: Hey! Oh, Im so glad you guys are here. Ive been dying to tell someone what happened in the Paleontology department today.
Monica: All right okay, just so you know, Im not gonna make a turkey this year.
Joey: I just want you to say it once in a while.
3rd Customer: Actually I do have one small complaint.
Joey: No there wont! I promise I will finish that turkey!
Phoebe: Anything I can do to help?
Ross: Can I ask you something? Have you ever had a guy have a crush on you?
Rachel: Okay, fine. Gunther, y'know what, I am a terrible waitress, do you know why Im a terrible waitress? Because, I dont care. I dont care. I dont care which pot is regular and which pot is decaf, I dont care where the tray spot is, I just dont care, this is not what I want to do. So I dont think I should do it anymore. Im gonna give you my weeks notice.
Chandler: I have no idea.
Ross: (playing the drunk uncle) When Monica was a little girl, I remember that(Phoebe screams and tackles him)Ooh!! Ow! Very good!
Chandler: Yeah! Im just pretending to watch the game so I dont have to help out with stuff.
Chandler: Nope! Every once and a while I just scream stuff at the TV.
Monica: Oh, I didnt know you liked football.
Phoebe: I dont believe you! That is brilliant! And Monica has no idea?
Phoebe: Well I want to get in on this. Hey Mon? I dont think I can help you after all, I didnt realize this game was on.
Monica: Oh umm, I meant to tell you, Ross is coming.
Ross: Ok! (he takes the camera and walks backwards to take a shot) See? Scared of swings, I bet you feel pretty silly (a swinging boy knocks him down) Ow!
Chandler: Im watching the game, but Im not deaf!
Will: Ross is coming. Great! I love Ross!
Monica: Isn't that sad? I mean, can you see how pathetic that is? You shouldn't be jealous. You should feel bad for him.
Ross: 'S'funny, um, uh, we agreed we'd spend the rest of our lives together. Things change, roll with the punches. I believe Julia's on the table..?
Rachel: I just purchased the La-Z-Boy E-cliner 3000. (Which is an actual product by the way, Im not sure about the 3000 part.)
Joey: Oh! Maybe its because Im on television. Im an actor on Days of Our Lives.
Rachel: Hi! Im Rachel Green.
Joey: (To Rachel) Its like me when I was born.