words in movies
CHANDLER: Alright, alright, but you better be wearing clothes when I open my eyes.
JOEY: I know.
PHOEBE: I can't believe two cows made the ultimate sacrifice so you guys could watch TV with your feet up.
ROSS: This screen is amazing, I mean Dick Van Dyke is practically life-size.
ROSS: [beeper goes off] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to get to the museum. So um, I'll see you tonight.
RACHEL: God, oh God Monica, I forgot. This is our first date.
PHOEBE: OK, I can be a waitress, I can be a waitress.
PHOEBE: I can be a waitress. OK watch this. Um, gimme two number ones, 86 the bacon, one Adam and Eve on a raft and rick'em, la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la.
DR. BURKE: Ah, that's OK, come on in. Um, I'm sorry, is Monica Geller coming? I was told she was.
DR. BURKE: Monica? My God you used to be so. . . I mean you, you, you, you must have lost like. . . You look great.
DR. BURKE: Oh, well obviously you know Barbara and I split up, otherwise you wouldn't have done the head tilt.
DR. BURKE: Yeah, since the divorce, when anybody asks me how I am, it's always with a sympathetic head tilt. [demonstrating] 'How ya doin'? You OK?'
DR. BURKE: No no, it, it's fine, believe me. I do it too. I always answer with the 'I'm OK' head bob. [demonstrates] 'I'm OK.' [tilts head] 'You sure?' [bobs head] 'Yeah, I'm fine.' Hey listen, I've got to set up the music. I got a new CD changer, of course the divorce only left me with 4 CD's to change.
CHANDLER: Uh, two larges, extra cheese on both. But listen, don't ring the buzzer for 19, ring 20, Geller-Green, they'll let you in, OK. If you buzz our door, there's no tip for you. OK, thanks. Pizza's on the way. I told you we wouldn't have to get up.
DR. BURKE: Only because my parents wanted me to be, I wanted to be a sherrif.
PHOEBE: [entering the kitchen from the party] That's funny, no. Cadillac, cataract, I get it, no I get it, you stay out there.
MONICA: I am not.
MONICA: Dr. Burke? I don't think so. I mean, like, he's a grown up.
MONICA: Not never. I mean, I'm gonna see him tomorrow at my eye appointment.
ROSS: I told you there was going to be sub-titles.
RACHEL: I know, I just didn't want to wear my glasses on my first date.
RACHEL: Well it's not, honey I'm sorry, I guess I'm just nervous. I mean, it's you, ya know, it's us. I mean, we're crossing that line, sort of a big thing.
ROSS: I, I know it's big, I just didn't know it was uh, ha-ha big.
RACHEL: I know, I know, I know, I know. I was just thinking about when they were there the last time, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. OK, OK, look, woah, I promise, I'm good, I'm not gonna laugh anymore. OK put your hands back there.
ROSS: No see now, now I can't because uh, I'm feeling too self conscious.
ROSS: Yeah. I don't know, I've been wanting this since like ninth grade typing, ya know. And I just want it to be perfect and right and. . . why isn't that laser beam cutting through the paint?
RACHEL: Hi. Listen, I was um, thinkin' about. . .
RACHEL: OK, listen, I'm sorry about last night and I really want to make it up to you.
RACHEL: Well, I was thinking maybe a um, a romantic dinner with um, candles and wine and then uh, maybe going back to my place for um, dessert.
ROSS: Humm, that sounds, I don't, perfect.
MONICA: Thanks. So, I guess I better be going.
PHOEBE: You guys are so pathetic, I, oh, OH, XANADU! OH.
ROSS: Oh, I promise, what.
ROSS: Who's Richard Burke? Doc, Doctor Burke? You have a date with Doctor Burke? Why, why, why should that bother me? I, I love that man, he's like a uh, brother to dad.
ROSS: [his beeper goes off] It's the museum again, can I, oh.
RACHEL: When I was um, 7, I crashed my bike right out in front of his house and to stop me from crying he kissed me right here. [points to the tip of her nose]
RACHEL: I know.
ROSS: Oh look, I can't believe this. Look, homo-habilus hasn't even learned how to use tools yet and they've got him here wi, with clay pots. Why don't, why don't they just give him a microwave? I'm sorry, I'm sorry this is taking so long, ya know, I, I, it's just it's longer than I expected, we will have dinner.
MONICA: I thought she just had one.
MONICA: I don't know, maybe. I mean I'm dating a man who's pool I once peed in.
DR. BURKE: I didn't need to know that. I guess 21 years is a lot. I mean, hell, I'm a whole person who can drink older than you.
ROSS: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight. RACHEL: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight. [they kiss] ROSS: You're not laughing. RACHEL: This time it's not so funny. [They kiss and start undressing. As Rachel tries to pull off Ross's tie she catches it in his mouth. Then they roll across the fur rug.] RACHEL: Ah, oh God. Oh, honey, oh that's OK. ROSS: What. Oh no, you just rolled over the juice box. RACHEL: Oh, thank God. [Scene: Museum of Natural History. The next morning Rachel and Ross are sleeping in the display under a fur.] ROSS: Hi. RACHEL: Hi you. I can't believe I'm waking up next to you. ROSS: I know it is pretty unbelievaaaaah. RACHEL: What? ROSS: We're not alone. [A church youth group is outside the display watching them] CLOSING CREDITS [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. They are still in their chairs, watching Beavis and Butthead.] [they're laughing along with the show when an alarm goes off] JOEY: Is that the fire alarm? CHANDLER: Yeah. [feels the floor] Oh it's not warm yet, we still have time. JOEY: Cool.
Rachel: Not stupid. The very cute, cute, cute doctors asked us out for tomorrow night, and I said "yes."
Monica: Oh, thats great! I mean Im-Im sorry, but Im so happy for you. And now I can work for you!
Phoebe: Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined.
CHANDLER: Listen, I'm, I'm sorry I didn't make it over there today.
RACHEL: Fine, I will.
ROSS: Good, 'cause I love you.
Ross: I dunno, there's just something about...
MONICA: I promise you, he would definitely want you back.
Joey: The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limesHey, what was in that brown jar?
Chandler: Rach, if you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him? I mean yknow you cant date him right?
MONICA: I was.
Joey: Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...
RACHEL: Well I love you too.
Monica: I mean, I realize that his feelings may never completely go away, but you can.
Joey: Yeah, at Macy's. You were the Obsession girl, right? I was the Aramis guy. (pretends to spray cologne) Aramis? Aramis?
JOEY: You know it's funny you should mention that 'cause I was thinkin'... what's with the boxes?
CHANDLER: Oh, uhh, actually I uh, have some news.
ROSS: I know.
Alan: Yeah, I'm sorry too. But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved.
Chandler: Hey. I just, I just wanted to come over to-to say that Im sorry. Yknow? I know I acted like the biggest idiot in the world, and I can completely understand why you were so upset.
MONICA: I wanna watch Entertainment Tonight.
GAIL: I, I really have to be somewhere but it was nice meeting you.
Chandler: I can't call her, I left a message! I have some pride.
PHOEBE: Yeah, yeah, no it's OK 'cause, I mean, I know he's there, so, that's enough for now.
MONICA: Ross, I hated you when we were kids.
Ross: (To Monica) Okay, I know Im not supposed to know, but I do. And Im so excited for you!
Monica: (rolling towards the office) Im quitting!! Woo-hoo! (She rolls through a doorway and out of sight. We then hear a big crash, and see Monica roll past the door the other way.) Im okay!! Im all right!!
ROSS: I can do that.
Chandler: Okay listen, just give me anything I can make two of.
Chandler: Oh, ain't this nice? It's so quiet, I could just lie here all day.
Rachel: Joey! Come on! I dont wanna make any mistakes, alright? This is the only dessert and if I screw it up everybody's gonna be like Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?
MONICA: Then I won't have to kill you.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I only have twenty minutes until Ethan, so, y'know.. (He starts to raid the fridge.)
Rachel: It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. See, every year we go skiing in Vail, and normally my father pays for my ticket, but I sort of started the whole independence thing, you know, which is actually why I took this job.
PHOEBE: I mean this poor woman.
PHOEBE: Well, I can't work with people who would do this.
MONICA: I know, how can you not be accross the hall anymore.
Chandler: How can I answer that when Im pretending I dont know you?
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you cant take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!
CHANDLER: Well I like both eggs equally.
Chandler: Yknow what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers . (Monica doesnt look impressed.) No? Really? They taste so good.
Chandler: Okay. But if you dont come back soon, (She leaves and closes the door) theres pretty much nothing I can do about it!
Joey: You got pregnant for funny?! Dina if hes funny laugh! All right, Ill be back in a little while! You stay here!
ROSS: As in, "I now pronounce you wife and wife" married?
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi, this Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please? (Listens) Earl, thanks. (Listens) Hi Earl, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies Id like to talk to you about your toner needs. (Shes reading from the script.)
CHANDLER: Oh no no no no, no no no no no no, you see, what I had planned shouldn't take more that 2, 3 minutes tops.
PHOEBE: OH!! Oh I thought they were just watching me. You know, like at, like at an aquarium, ya know.
JOEY: I'm sorry. I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore.
Guy: Oh, that's great. I'm stalking the wrong woman. I am such a dingus!
AMBER: I want you Drake.
Joey: But my mom always makes them. It's like a tradition. You get a little piece of turkey on your fork, a little cranberry sauce, and a tot! It's bad enough I can't be with my family because of my disease.
Ross: That is a great idea! And! I know Ugly Naked Guy because we've been watching him for like five years so that gives me back my edge! Oh, let's see now he had the trampoline.
Phoebe: Na-uh, I am!
PHOEBE: I know, yeah. Ok, talk to him. [leaves]
Rachel: (voice wavers) Oh, but he was my pig man...how did I not see this?
Phoebe: Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before, so I called the father and asked him to meet you here so you can tell him. Go!
PHOEBE: I know.
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
Chandler: I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen with Rachel, they would've happened already?
MRS. GELLER: I just never would have pictured Richard with a bimbo.
RICHARD: I don't know, I don't have my jammies.
Phoebe: Oh, I (starts jabbering incoherently)
ERICA: I don't understand, why didn't you help that man?
JOEY: Ooh, I look good.
RACHEL: Oh yeah. I used to babysit him. Hey, how's his dad?
Rachel: "Oh my God, I cant find a boyfriend! So I guess Ill just stumble across the hall and sleep with the first guy I find in there!"
Ross: Yeah, I really do. Yeah, but what am I gonna do, I mean we-we both agreed that it was gonna be a two-week thing, yknow no commitment.
CHANDLER: Hey I didn't kill your fish. Look Eddie...[puts his hand on Eddie's shoulder] Would you look at what I'm doin' here. That can't be smart. So we're just gonna take this guy right off ya and put him here in Mr. Pocket. Tangellon? [picks up the fruit an tosses it to Eddie, it hits Eddie in the chest and falls]
PHOEBE: Alright, so, what, he's not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones?
RACHEL: Wow, I am so glad I'm not Monica right now.
Joey: C'mon, you guys, it wasn't that bad. It was better than that thing I did with the trolls, at least you got to see my head.
MONICA: Wow. Oh wow. You know I love you too, right.
Mark: Ive kinda of had this ah, this crush on you. (Rachel is shocked) But since you were with Ross, I-I didnt do anything about it. But, now that youre not, Id really like to ask you out sometime. So-so thats-thats what Im doing, now.
Rachel: (lifts for a toast) Okay, as everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast � to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Monica: When girls hang out, we dont have pillow fights in our underwear. (Chandler gets a hurt look on his face.) Im sorry. We do. We do. I dont know why I said that.
RACHEL: God, Ross, look, what you and I have is special, all Paolo and I ever had was...
Ross: Let-let me make sure I'm hearing this right, you're ending this with me because I'm too whiney? (Janice makes an agreeing sound.) So you're saying, I've become so whiney that I annoy you, Janice.
MONICA: I know. I just can't find...
Chandler: Oh no..don't thank me. Thank you. You know there's not one thing I would change about you? Not one single thing! And definitely not... two... single things.
ROSS: [in a childish voice] I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain.
PHOEBE: Uh huh, what is happening to the world? I mean, no no no, 'cause ET leaves, and and Rocky loses, Charlotte dies.
RACHEL: Ok, I, I will do your laundry for one month.
Phoebe: Ohh, no. (Pause) Oh okay, so you're a cop which means you can park anywhere, 'cause I know that 'cause I'm a cop too. So, all right, keep up the good work. 10-4. (Tries to leave.)
Ross: Are you angry at me because I said your handwriting is childlike?
MONICA: Ya know, I was thinking. Ya know how we always stay at your apartment? Well, I thought maybe tonight we'd stay at my place.
EDDIE: Wha-, n-, no. I mean it's just a bunch of pretty people runnin' around on the beach, ya know.
PHOEBE: Yeah, it's just so strange. I mean, she probably woke up today and thought, "ok, I'll have some breakfast, and then I'll take a little walk, and then I'll have my massage." Little did she know God was thinking, "Ok, but that's it." Oh, but the weirdest thing was, ok, I was cleansing her aura when she died, and when the spirit left her body, I don't think it went very far.
CHANDLER: I can't sleep now.
Rachel: Yes, I did. Thank you very much, it was excellent. (Disembarks)
CHANDLER: I didn't realize that.
CHANDLER: No, look, that's it, it's over, I want you out, I want you out of the apartment now.
CHANDLER: I want you out.
EDDIE: Ok, then I want to hear you say it, I, I want to hear you say you want me out.
EDDIE: I heard that.
Mr. Zelner: Ive asked Lee from human resources to be here as a witness to our conversation.
Part I Written by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan & Scott Silveri Part II Written by: Andrew Reich & Ted Cohen Parts I and II Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
ESTELLE: Joey, look at me, look at me. Do I have lipstick on my teeth?
PHOEBE: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
RACHEL: Oh, God, oh, God, I mean it's just so.
CHANDLER: Well, if I was wearing your underwear then, uh, what would you be wearing?. . . You're swell.