words in movies
{Transcriber's Note: The credits list two characters, Tia and Samantha, who I assume are the sweaty women Joey and Chandler meet. However, I don't know which is which, so I've simply called them Woman #1 and Woman #2.}
Rachel: Okay, okay, I checked. We have: Earl Grey, English Breakfast, Cinnamon Stick, Camomile, Mint Medley, Blackberry, and.. oh, wait, there's one more, um.. Lemon Soother. You're not the guy that asked for the tea, are you? (Guy shakes his head) Okay.
Rachel: Barry who I almost.
Ross: Marcel. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Bring me the rice, c'mon. Good boy. Good boy. C'mere, gimme the rice. (Marcel brings the rice) Thank you, good boy. Well, I see he's finally mastered the difference between 'bring me the' and 'pee in the'. (Rachel ignores him) 'Bring me the' and- Rach?
Rachel: Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, this is so stupid! I mean, I gave Barry up, right? I should be happy for them! I am, I'm happy for them.
Rachel: No. Oh, oh, I guess it would be different if I were- with somebody.
Rachel: Oh, I don't know. I guess it's not about no guys, it's about the right guy, y'know? I mean, with Barry, it was safe and it was easy, but there was no heat. With Paolo, that's all there was, was heat! And it was just this raw, animal, sexual...
Ross: Wait-wait. I, I got it. I was there.
Rachel: Well, I mean, do you think you can ever have both? Y'know? Someone who's like, who's like your best friend, but then also can make your toes curl?
Ross: Yes. Yes. Yes! Yes, I really do! In fact, it's funny, very often, someone who you wouldn't think could-could curl your toes, might just be the one who...
Joey: Hey, I don't need violence to enjoy a movie. Just so long as there's a little nudity.
Joey: I meant female nudity. Alright? I don't need to see Lou Grant frolicking.
Rachel: (To Marcel) And I will see you tomorrow!
Chandler: I can't believe we are even having this discussion.
Joey: I agree. I'm, like, in disbelief.
Chandler: I mean, don't you think if things were gonna happen with Rachel, they would've happened already?
Ross: Well, I added the 'exactly like me' part... But she said she's looking for someone, and someone is gonna be there tonight.
Ross: Well, I think it's perfect. Y'know, it's just gonna be the two of us, she spent all day taking care of my monkey...
Chandler: I can't remember the last time I got a girl to take care of my monkey.
Ross: Anyway, I figured after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there and, uh, try to woo her.
Rachel: I don't know. We were watching TV, and then he pooped in Monica's shoe-
Rachel: I don't know. The left one.
Monica: Those cute little black ones I wear all the time.
Rachel: Well, what'm I gonna do? What'm I gonna do?
Mr. Heckles: I left a Belgian waffle out here, did you take it?
Mr. Heckles: I wasn't ready for it.
Rachel: Oh, I would love some. But y'know what? Y'know what? Let's not drink it here. I'm feeling kinda crazy. You wanna go to Newark?
Ross: Uh, okay, yeah, we could do that, but before we head off to the murder capital of the North-East, I was, uh, kinda wanting to run something by you. Y'know how we were, uh, y'know, talking before about, uh, relationships and stuff? (Uncorks the wine) Well-
Rachel: Oh God, Ross, I cannot do this.
Rachel: Well, I kind of... I kind of lost him.
Ross: (Angry) I- I- I ca- I can't believe this. I mean, all I asked you to do was keep him in the apartment.
Rachel: I know, I know, I'm sorry-
Ross: No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a monkey. I should've started you off with like a pen or a pencil.
Rachel: (Tearfully) Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I- (Door buzzer goes and she runs to get it) Oh! Who is it?
Ross: That's right, I.. 'cause I didn't expect you were gonna invite them to the apartment!
Rachel: Cat! What'm I saying? Cat!
Luisa: Luisa Gianetti! Lincoln High? I sat behind you guys in home room!
Luisa: You have no idea who I am, do you.
Luisa: Well, maybe that's because you spent four years ignoring me. I mean, would it have been so hard to say 'Morning, Luisa'? Or 'Nice overalls'?
Luisa: I could... but I won't. If I find that monkey, he's mine. (Leaves)
Woman No. 1: Hi, can I help you?
Woman No. 2: Did I put too much rum in here?
Ross: Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.
Rachel: Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!
Ross: Yeah, yeah. Y'know, now that you kicked the sign, hey! I don't miss Marcel any more!
Rachel: Y'know, it is not like I did this on purpose.
Ross: Oh, no no no. Nono, this is just vintage Rachel. I mean, things just sort of happen around you. I mean, you're off in Rachel-land, doing your Rachel-thing, totally oblivious to people's monkeys, or to people's feelings...
Ross: I don't even wanna hear it, you're just...
Mr. Heckles: I don't have a monkey.
Ross: Alright, I want my monkey.
Rachel: Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!
Rachel: Alright. Well then how about I call your supervisor, and I tell her that you shot my friend in the ass with a dart?
Ross: Listen, I'm- I'm sorry I was so hard on you before, it's just I...
Rachel: Oh, Ross, c'mon. It's my fault, I almost lost your...
Ross: Alright. (He goes to get the glasses. Then he hesitates and turns off the main light. Rachel looks round and he acts surprised) The, uh, the neighbours must be vacuuming. (He sits down and starts to pour the wine) Well, so long as we're here and, uh, not on the subject, I was thinking about, uh, how mad we got at each other before, and, um, I was thinking maybe it was partially because of how we, um...
Barry: I can't. I can't do it, I can't marry Mindy. I think I'm still in love with you.
Chandler: Eh. I thought that was an alp.
Joey: I dunno, I loved high school. Y'know? It was just four years of parties and dating and sex.
Chandler: Yeah, well I went to boarding school with four hundred boys. Any sex I had would've involved a major lifestyle choice.
Phoebe: What are you guys talking about, I loved it! It was soo moving. Oh, plus its just, its so different from the stuff you usually hear.
Rachel: I did.
Emily: I packed while you were gone. I left some knickers under your pillow.
Ross: Okay... okay, maybe I will...
Rachel: I knew.
Ross: I do.
Janice: Oh, too soon, too schmoon. Face it honey, I am not letting you get away this time.
Ross: See, I see.... big passion in your future.
Rachel: Yeah! Im gonna have a boyfriend, youre gonna have a girlfriend
Julio: I can write an epic poem about this lip. (grabs her lower lip)
Rachel: Assistant buyer. Oh! I would be shopping... for a living!
Monica: They baked it. I cant take this anymore. Im gonna call a meeting tonight, Im gonna fire you tonight.
Rachel: I could not have done this without you.
Phoebe: Yeah. I actually am, yeah. Y'know life-lifes gonna had you all kinds of stuff, y'know you learn your little lessons and hopefully you grow. Wanna hear a new song?
Ross: (stopping suddenly and getting up) Okay, I gotta go.
Monica: Oh, I wish there was a job where I could wear this all the time. (Pause) Maybe someday, there will be.
Monica: Oh God! Orange juice just came out of my nose, but it was totally worth it. Oh my God, I completely forgot about your sound.
Rachel: Well neither do I!
Ross: Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room.
Ross: Oh Im, Im making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do.
CHANDLER: Oh, uh, he's not here right now, uh, I'm Chandler, can I take a message, or, or a fishtank?
Rachel: Well, actually, I meant for me. The hiring committee is meeting people all day and
Chandler: What a coincidence, I listen in my sleep.
Ross: No!! No!! I wanna stay. I wanna talk about this.
Rachel: Ummm. Oh! Im sorry. (She grabs the box and offers him a piece.) Its a little old but
CHANDLER: Yeah, Karen. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what? I just did.
Monica: You may be okay about getting hurt, but I am not okay with being the one who hurts you. Thats why I cant take this job.
Phoebe: Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
Ross: Yeah, well you never have the time. I mean, I dont feel like I even have a girlfriend anymore, Rachel.
RICHARD: Yeah, just, I feel like I'm about a hundred. I thought I was just one of the guys.
Chandler: I didnt know that.
Monica: I never knew that either.
Ross: The one with the cat. I gotta go, Ive got another date.
Monica: Im sorry honey.
Chandler: Well, yeah, but y'know, what-what if I was wrong?
Rachel: No, Ill think about it. Yeah.
Rachel: Oh, honey, I dont know. I
Ross: Listen, I got to tell you Ive-Ive never been to a guru before, so...
Ross: You did! Oh.... I always figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother.
Chandler: Okay. Then I guess its just, wait here then. (Hands her the sign that says, Wait Here.") (To the ticket agent) Hi. I need one fake ticket to Yemen.
Joey: Oh. Maybe. But hey I know how I can find out. Were going to a New Years Eve party, right? So at midnight, I can kiss her. And if she kisses me back, great! Yknow? But if she says Dude, what the hell are you doing? I can say It wasnt me, it was New Years!
Joey: (pointing) It worked! I scared ya, I knew it! Ha-ha!
Mr. Treeger: Yeah, it happened to me once. I was just flipping through the channels and bam! It was like finding money.
Ross: Rach, I got a message from you.
Ross: OK, I need to lie down.
Ross: I've no idea, could be. Listen, I'm sorry I had to work tonight.
Ross: No! No! I want to talk now! Okay? IIn fact, (picks up the phone) I am going to talk to the president of the condom company!
Ross: But come on! I mean living together will be great! I mean you guys have so much fun and you love Mike.
Joey: Oh, uh, again. Can I make a special request: Can you bring everything as soon as it�s ready? Appetizers, entrees, we don�t care.
Rachel: Oh it's OK. You were worth the wait, and I don't just mean tonight.
Mr. Geller: Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was.
Gunther: Im sorry. Was I not supposed to?
Chandler: Well, I thought that would be the best thing to do.
Chandler: Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. (Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.)
Rachel: I just, I feel, I-I just...
Phoebe: Really?! I looked into that. Yeah, but, I mean it costs like $60,000 and yknow you can die. And, you would die!
Rachel: Noo! Maybe! I, I dont know.
Rachel: Yeah, because I was mad at you, not because I stopped loving you!
Ross: No, Im getting back down cause she lives in Poughkeepsie. She seems really great, but shes like totally great, but she lives two and a half hours away.
Chandler: I KNEW IT!!!!
Joey: Hey, you dont even live here anymore! What are you doing answering my phone? I have my machine!
Ross: I like it, and Emily likes it, and thats what counts. So uh, how are you guys doing?
Chandler: Du-du-I wrote it, I wrote it on the board! I wrote it on the board, then I went all over New York City looking for ya! I went to Rosss! I went to the coffeehouse! I went to any place that they made sandwiches!
Mrs. Geller: (to Ross on the stairs) I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Ross: Y'know what? I think we've seen enough, let's turn it off.
Monica: (to Ross) I can't believe you did that.
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
Joey's Hand Twin: (tries to leave) I have to get back to
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There arent any message youve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently youre not very good at it! I
Phoebe: Oh, Im sorry. But I really like this guy. And I think he really happens to like me.
Frank: Yeah, Ive been thinking ever since you said we were having triplets, the best thing for me to do is to drop out of college and get a job.
Joey: Oh-ho! I bet the British version is gooooood!
Joey: Yeah, lady, I do! I got a problem with that!
Joshua: Wow! Uhh, Rachel uhh, youre a real special lady, but my divorce isnt final yet and, and, and weve been on four days, so Im thinking "No, but thanks."
Chandler: Im right! Right? There was like no chemistry between them. Before they had heat, and now theres no heat! Now you know what this means, Joey told us what this means!
Phoebe: I havent really had any yet.
Chandler: No, I ah, I didnt do them.
Guy: I hope you dont think Im crazy but I feel like I was meant to pick this up, do you believe in that kind of thing?
Ross: Joey, I figured youd understand. I mean, I-Ive known him a lot longer.
Ross: I sortve already asked Chandler.
Joey: I cant believe youre not picking me.
Monica: I thought that was a good thing.
Chandler: Im not even Im not even
Chandler: It was an accident. Not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of donuts.
Kate: I dont care. Why, do you want me to care?
Rachel: No! Put that box down! We are not going anywhere! This is my apartment and I like it! This is a girls apartment! That is a boys apartment, its dirty and it smells. This is pretty. Its-its so pretty! And look, and its-its purple! And Im telling you, you with the steady hand, I am not moving, and now I have got the steady hand. (She holds out her hand, which is shaking uncontrollably.)
Ross: I am a good kisser.
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Dude! I am trying to sleep! (Shrugs to say, "Whats up with that?")
Rachel: Im sorry, as I was saying the store number is wrong, and Im sorry but thats... (notices a fire that Rosss candle has started) Oh my God!!
Rachel: Ooh, I was soo nervous about that letter. But the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much youve grown. Y'know?
Young Ethan: Uh, listen um, as long as we're telling stuff, uh, I have another one for you. I'm a little younger than I said.
Phoebe Sr: Y'know I wanted to tell you yesterday, but I just, I kinda felt all floopy, and...
Joey: Oh, I chose not to hear that.
ROSS: I got some, uh, hers and hers towels for Susan and Carol. And, uh, I got this blouse for mom.
Phoebe: Exactly! Look, no matter what I tried to do, I couldn't keep you out of my life. Of all the people I have cut out, you were the only one who ever clawed her way back in.
Chandler: Hey uh, Rach, funny story. I ah, bumped into Joanna on the street yesterday.
Rachel: Id need an expense account.
Phoebe: No. I'm sorry. It's just 'cause I couldn't be there. 'Cause all I ever get to do now is pregnant stuff, it just bums me out.
Mr. Burgin: I like her. She sees smart.
Phoebe: Oh, it's your audition from this morning. Can I use the phone again?