words in movies
Rachel: So, Im in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle, and guess who the clue is for three down. (She hands the magazine to Joey.)
Joey: (reading) Three down, Days Of Our Lives star blank Tribbiani. Thats me!! Im blank!!
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Monica: Three down knows Im married, whats three down doin?
Joey: No. They really like me over there. They want to do a big profile on me, but I said no.
Joey: Remember what happened the last time I did an interview for them? I said I write a lot of my own lines, and then the writers got mad and made my character fall down the elevator shaft. So who knows what I might say this time.
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Joey: Fine! All right, Ill do it. But hey! You guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I yknow, start to say something stupid.
Rachel: Come on! We will be there for you the whole time! Just remember gal pal Rachel Green. (Excited) Ha-ha! Im gonna be in Soap Opera Digest! And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle. (Looks at Joey.) Seriously, proud of you.
The Interviewer: I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.
The Interviewer: (To Joey) Yknow I think its great you wanted to meet here. Yknow when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they want to go to a big fancy restaurant.
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
Gunther: Can I get you anything?
The Interviewer: Umm, Ill have a cup of coffee.
Joey: And Ill have all the muffins.
Joey: (finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (Starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (Smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (Gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne baby Im gonna want to meet her.
Joey: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, (Joey from TV) you know that's bad for the paper tray.
Joey: Thank you. Wait-wait-wait-wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am
Phoebe: Im gonna get some coffee, anyone want anything?
Rachel: Oh yeah, Id actually love a blueberry muffin and a chamomile tea.
Phoebe: (interrupting him) I was just being polite!
Chandler: Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
Joey: I think youre right.
Joey: In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And Im also a mento for the kids.(The gang shake their heads.) Yknow a mento, a role model. (Chandler bites his fist to keep from talking.)
Joey: Matter of fact, I do.
Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Joey: Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! (Checks his pants.) Yeah, my pants are a little loose!
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Joey: I like it.
Joey: The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limesHey, what was in that brown jar?
Joey: Uhh, I dont believe in these crazy diets yknow, just everything in moderation.
Joey: Ill take those to go. (To the interviewer) For the kids.
The Interviewer: Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you. You were on the show years ago and then they killed you off. What happened there?
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
Joey: Well, I said that I (The gang jumps up and interrupts him.)
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
The Interviewer: Umm, Im gonna just go get this warmed up. (She takes her coffee mug up to the counter.)
Rachel: (scoffs at him) Yeah, thats gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest. Well I (leans into the microphone again) I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.
Phoebe: Umm, I I just think you dont expect someone so hot to be so sweet.
The Interviewer: Oh! I like that. Whats your name?
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Rachel: Ive never lived like this before.
Joey: I know.
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (Stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Monica: You cant say that!! You-you dont know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldnt...bend that way. So... (Looks at Joey.)
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you!
Joey: Really? Me? Wow! I dont even know any huge gay people!
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Ross: Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so were face to face or-or should I climb down your back so were-were butt to face.
Joey: I think face to face.
Ross: I would say that.
Ross: Okay, here I go.
Ross: I prefer not to answer that right now, Im still carrying a little holiday weight.
Joey: Yknow, when we talked about face to face, I dont think we thought it all the way through.
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Joey: No Im not. Why would you say that? Thats just mean.
Chandler: Now Ive upset you? What did I say?
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it Oh My God, Im a woman!!!
Joey: Uh me? Gay? No! No. No, but I have a number of close friends who are. (Chandler and Ross look at each other.)
The Interviewer: So, lets talk about women. Im sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? Im her sister.
Janine: No! I mean you're a really nice guy and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend, I'm just y'know, I just don't feel that way about you.
Joey: Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
Janine: I don't think so.
Joey: Oh, I do. (Gives her the Joey-love look.) How you doin?
Joey: Not much to tell there Im really shy.
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
Joey: Bye-bye. (The interviewer leaves and he sits down with the rest of the gang.) I did it!
The Interviewer: (returning) Oh wait! I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this. Other than Days of Our Lives, whats your favorite soap opera?
Joey: Oh, I dont watch soap operas. Excuse me, I have a life, yknow?
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe they didnt put it in the part where you said you didnt watch soap operas.
Joey: Yeah, I called the lady about that. I told her I was just joking. She was pretty nice about that.
Emily: Oh, no-no-no, thats not rude! Its perfectly in keeping with a trip that Ive already been run down by one of your wiener carts, and been strip-searched at John F. Kennedy Airport, apparently to you people, I look like someone whos got a balloon full of cocaine stuffed up their bum.
Phoebe: Taffy, really? Ive never had any.
Monica: Yeah. But a part of me also cant wait til its over. Chandler and I have this pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
Monica: (as Rachel) Um, okay. You just called a little while ago about needing a signature on the admissions form. Well, it turns out we need a whole new one (little laugh) because uh, you see, I-I, I put the wrong name again. (Little laugh) 'cause um...
Phoebe: Well actually, I know what time Chester and Marcia said.
Mona: Yknow, every year I say Im gonna send out holiday cards and I never do it. Do you wanna, do you wanna send this one out together?
Phoebe: All right, I'd better go too. I have to go talk to my dad.
Monica: But the minute we start to lie to each other (Pauses after she realizes what she's saying.) And by 'we' I mean society.
Joey: Okay, uh sit down. (they do) Um theres this woman that I like. A lot. But, uh it cant happen.
Rachel: man sharks. I always knew there was something weird about that dude. But you promised to love him no matter what.
Chandler: Well, whatever it is, I hope it involves winking. (Winks in a spy-type manner.)
Megan: Oh Im not, I just like to try these on.
Joey: Well I tried, but people kept coming in and then you took your breast out!
ROSS: Hey Joey I have to cancel racketball for tonight, that was Marcel's trainer. He's gonna let me have him for a couple of hours.
MONICA: [reading] 'Dear Dr. Remore, know that I love you and would do anything to have you.' Gosh. 'Your not-so-secretive admirer, Erica Ford.' Ooh wait, 'PS enclosed please find 14 of my eyelashes.'
Phoebe: No idea! I though he was soft like you!
Chandler: Is this really your long term plan, for me to run interference? Because I could get a job any day now.
Chandler: Shhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! Shhhhh! (Walks backwards towards the door) I cant, I cant hear you. (He runs out)
Monica:: maybe I will go (thinks) yea will have a second honeymoon at the Tulsa romana.
Rachel: Because, I feel like I wouldn't just be going out with him. I would be going out with all of you. Oh, and there would just be all this pressure, and I don't wanna...
David: I-I... Oh I...I just wanna say uhm... if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number (gives Mike a business card) We'll uhm... we'll party up Vladnik style. (He leaves again)
Rachel: (giggles) (To Ross) I can imagine you in a short plaid skirt and knee socks.
Phoebe: Yeah, last Saturday. Wow! She was the first black man to fly solo across the Atlantic. (Chandler and Monica look puzzled) Oh, wait a minute, I read the wrong one.
The Salesman: Actually, Im not buying. Im selling. Let me ask you one question. Do your friends ever have a conversation and you just nod along even though youre not really sure what theyre talking about?
[Scene: A beauty parlour, Rachel is getting a manicure while Chandler, yes Chandler, is getting a petticure (Does that scare you that I know those terms? Well, it scares me.).]
Woman No. 2: Maybe. I was thinking about getting a cat, I was just going to go to the shelter (Good for her) but Okay, why not?
Rachel: (seeing him) Wow! H-umm! Hi! Yes, uh Im sorry the models are actually down the hall.
Phoebe: Well, you know, if you want fashion help, Rachel and I are going shopping tomorrow. You're more than welcome to come with us, right?
Rachel: Cause I know hes gonna flip out and I hate it when hes angry.
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
JOEY: Angela? Joey Tribiani. Listen, what are ya doing tonight. I know your seeing that guy I was thinking maybe you could bring him.....Hello? Hello? (picks up a statue of an Indian and walks into his room)
Monica: Are you kidding?! I practically spent my entire childhood at the arcade! This is likeOh my, this is like my second favorite game!
Phoebe: Obviously I didn't think they were gonna start throwing things. I just thought if I kept insulting everyone, you would jump in and defend everyone and then you could look like the hero.
Jack: I know what you're thinking Judy, the resemblance is uncanny!
Joey: Hey, imagine if I never got fired off Days Of Our Lives! (Closes his eyes to do so.) Oh-hey, theres Carol again!
Janine: Okay. Okay. Would, would it help if I went over and apologized?
Rachel: Oh! Man, I never thought I'd be here.. (She leans back onto his hand.)
PHOEBE: Oh yeah. You know, I don't know if I was happier when um George Bailey destroyed the family business or um, Donna Reid cried, or when the mean pharmacist made his ear bleed.
Monica: No! No-no! I love it! It is a great present! In fact, why dont you go home and wait for the thank you card?
The Museum Official: (on phone) Hi, this is Heldi from the Morgan Chase museum. Im calling for Monica Geller. I want to let her know that there was a cancellation and if shes still interested in having the Bing-Geller wedding at our facility, it is available (Chandler runs to answer the phone.)
C.H.E.E.S.E: Oh yeah? Well then how come I cant get my VCR to stop blinking 12:00?
Chandler: Listen, if you want to borrow money, its kind of a bad time. Im buying dinner for 128 people tomorrow night.
Rachel: Well, I think you're forgetting the kinkiest former resident of that room.
Phoebe: Goodie! Thanks. So, how is it living with Rachel again? I mean, apart from the great food.
Mr. Geller: Well, the garage flooded sweetie and it ruined everything in your boxes. Im sorry.
Ross: Y'know what, y'know what, Im-Im not the one that wanted that, that break, okay. Youre the one that bailed on us. Youre the one that, that ran when things got just a little rough!
Ross: Not just a key, I gave her the only key! I am now a homeless person in a very serious relationship.
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
Rachel: God, I hope he doesn't show up. Of course he's not gonna show up, the guy hates me.
Earl: Well I only have one thing to do today. (He looks at his board in his office that reads, "Todays Tasks: KILL SELF.") I guess I could push it back.
Ross: Well, I guess I can check out those apartment listings, even though there's never anything in here.
Joey: I have an audition for this play and for some of it I have to speak French. Which, according to my résumé, I'm fluent in.
Mike: Hey! You made it. Great! Chappy! Hi! (kisses his dad) Hi! (kisses his mom) Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't something you approve of...
Monica: I still say that if we had called your dad we coulda gotten better seats.
Larry: (entering) A 98. I deducted 2 points because you are not wearing your chef's hat, and that is a Section 5 violation.
Phoebe-Estelle: I guess I dropped the ball there. Whoopsie!
Jessica Ashley: (shocked) Oh my God! I won! Do you have any idea what this means?! (She rolls her eyes and throws it onto the couch.)
MONICA: Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game.� You have to spend time with me."� So, if you could just realize it on your own . . .
Rachel: I’m telling you guys, we followed them out to a house in Westchester, the went in for like forty-five minutes and then they came out looking pretty happy!
Ross: I actually had a topic in mind! Im, Im kinda going through a dry spell, sex wise.
Ross: Look guys, when Im with her its-its-its like she brings this-this-this great side out of me. I mean I-I-I love her, yknow?
Monica: Well, an-anyway, I justthat night meant a lot to me, I guess Im just trying to say thanks.
Lorraine: You know, ever since I was little, I've been able to pick up quarters with my toes.
Mr. Treeger: (measures the top of the doorframe) Whoa! This looks like an all day job, Ill have to cancel my yoga class. (Ross walks up.) Hey Ross!
Monica: Please ... if I win the lottery, you guys are not gonna leave me. Someone gave me a basket of mini-muffins last week and I couldn't get rid of you for 3 days!
Amanda: (to Phoebe) No I distinctly remember you were dodging her (points at Monica) calls and trying to avoid seeing her.
Joey: Yeah, thats what I was afraid of.. Okay, uhh Look Janine I really want you to feel at home here, but some of this new stuff. Its too girly.
RACHEL: This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like. My mom there, my dad there. Thanksgiving, Christmas. She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker. Oh, Chandler how did you get through this?
Phoebe: We found your test in the trash, if youre not pregnant(She sees Rachel shaking her head)Its because I am.
Ross: (reading from a notepad) I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given, but if they're off by even a hundred thousand years or so then you can - you can just throw most of our assumptions, you know, right in the trash. (he throws the notepad in the waste bin) So-so what I am saying is - is is that (he picks the notepad back from the waste bin) is that the repercussions could be huge! I mean, not just in palaeontology, but if-if you think about it, in evolutionary biology, uh, genetics, geology, uh, I mean, truly the mind boggles!
Gate attendant #2: Ma'am, I assure you, the plane is fine.
Ross: Yknow, maybe she is too young for me. Yknow, when I was over there and she was running around with her friends, I felt like I was a baby-sitter. I finally started to see what you guys were talking about. I dont know what to do.
Ross: Oh, I thought you guys had just been on like four dates, I didnt realise that had become anything, yet.
Ross: Joey, I did not break this! Okay? (He opens the freezer and smells inside and recoils in disgust.) That has been broken for a while.
Phoebe: Regular Celery! (Starts to write that on her list) Oh, I already have that. (She gets up and heads for her room)
Ross: I would, but I bruise like a peach. Besides, y�you know, everything is gonna be fine. The baby�s sleeping.
Cliff: Wow! I usually get to know a girl a little better before I let her spoon me.
Elizabeth: Ross, its going to be okay. Im not going down there to hook up with a bunch of guys. I really like you. I like how things are going between us.
David: She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and... well, it's actually because of you, really, that we're together, I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy, and I just said "Boy, I want that".
Rachel: (changing the subject) Anyway, speaking of drinking too much. I was uh, tellin Phoebe about that one crazy night after the Sigma Chi luau where you and I uh, we made out.
Dr. Oberman: Umm, I'm actually a first year resident, but I get that a lot, you see, I-I graduated early
Phoebe Sr: But umm, youre right. I think that a person should know where they come from. Wh-which is why I ah, (pause) ahh, (pause) okay. Im your mother.
Ross: Why, does it look like Im having trouble with my misshapen claw? (He hands Joey the form)
Rachel: Ssshyeah, well, duh! I mean...
Phoebe: I bought them off Ebay! They used to belong to the late Shania Twain.
Chandler: (watches Joey for a moment) Okay! (Joey quickly moves the hockey stick so that hes scratching his back with it.) Listen, Im gonna be moving out so you will be in charge of paying the rent.
Monica: (to Phoebe) I swear I've seen birds do this on Wild Kingdom.
Monica: But I thought if you left, you get fired.
Rachel: Ok, fine! You can make fun of me. I do not want Emma going there. And I was thinking Claire Danes.
Rachel: Ive never interviewed anyone before. Ive actually never had anyone work for me before. Although when I was a kid, we did have a maid, but this is-this isnt the same thing.
Chandler: I'd love to, but I gotta get back to talking to your parents. They're telling us all about how they adopted you.
Chandler: Oh, dont worry about it I mean you probably were tired, you had a lot of champagne, it happens to everybody.
Hayley: so it was kind of a shock after 25 years of marriage my parents, a perfect couple getting divorced, I kinda took it the hardest cause I was the youngest.
Phoebe Sr: Hey! Okay! Well thanks for coming out to see me. I just-I just thought it would be a very good idea to talk about this baby stuff in person. Yknow
Chandler: Well, you couldnt get them anyway. Ian doesnt plan anymore and Derrick (Off of Rachel and Monicas looks) And Derrick is a name I shouldnt know.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, I do! I do know! Frank and Alice are gonna want to keep all of their children!
Phoebe: Then he comes over! (Mimicking him) "Im so worried about you." Uck! Be a man!
Rachel: (To Joey) Yeah I knowIm goodI got it! (Joey slowly backs away.) (To the boy) Now wait a minute, Ive got one more thing I have to say to you oh right! Shut up!
Mrs. Geller: (whispers to Jack a little loudly) I think hes stoned again.
Emily: And that big bloke with the beard, he has got a trick hip. Yeah. And uh, and David over there, I heard he doesnt wear a cup.