words in movies
Rachel: So, Im in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle, and guess who the clue is for three down. (She hands the magazine to Joey.)
Joey: (reading) Three down, Days Of Our Lives star blank Tribbiani. Thats me!! Im blank!!
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Monica: Three down knows Im married, whats three down doin?
Joey: No. They really like me over there. They want to do a big profile on me, but I said no.
Joey: Remember what happened the last time I did an interview for them? I said I write a lot of my own lines, and then the writers got mad and made my character fall down the elevator shaft. So who knows what I might say this time.
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Joey: Fine! All right, Ill do it. But hey! You guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I yknow, start to say something stupid.
Rachel: Come on! We will be there for you the whole time! Just remember gal pal Rachel Green. (Excited) Ha-ha! Im gonna be in Soap Opera Digest! And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle. (Looks at Joey.) Seriously, proud of you.
The Interviewer: I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.
The Interviewer: (To Joey) Yknow I think its great you wanted to meet here. Yknow when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they want to go to a big fancy restaurant.
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
Gunther: Can I get you anything?
The Interviewer: Umm, Ill have a cup of coffee.
Joey: And Ill have all the muffins.
Joey: (finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (Starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (Smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (Gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne baby Im gonna want to meet her.
Joey: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, (Joey from TV) you know that's bad for the paper tray.
Joey: Thank you. Wait-wait-wait-wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am
Phoebe: Im gonna get some coffee, anyone want anything?
Rachel: Oh yeah, Id actually love a blueberry muffin and a chamomile tea.
Phoebe: (interrupting him) I was just being polite!
Chandler: Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
Joey: I think youre right.
Joey: In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And Im also a mento for the kids.(The gang shake their heads.) Yknow a mento, a role model. (Chandler bites his fist to keep from talking.)
Joey: Matter of fact, I do.
Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Joey: Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! (Checks his pants.) Yeah, my pants are a little loose!
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Joey: I like it.
Joey: The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limesHey, what was in that brown jar?
Joey: Uhh, I dont believe in these crazy diets yknow, just everything in moderation.
Joey: Ill take those to go. (To the interviewer) For the kids.
The Interviewer: Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you. You were on the show years ago and then they killed you off. What happened there?
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
Joey: Well, I said that I (The gang jumps up and interrupts him.)
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
The Interviewer: Umm, Im gonna just go get this warmed up. (She takes her coffee mug up to the counter.)
Rachel: (scoffs at him) Yeah, thats gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest. Well I (leans into the microphone again) I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.
Phoebe: Umm, I I just think you dont expect someone so hot to be so sweet.
The Interviewer: Oh! I like that. Whats your name?
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Rachel: Ive never lived like this before.
Joey: I know.
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (Stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Monica: You cant say that!! You-you dont know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldnt...bend that way. So... (Looks at Joey.)
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you!
Joey: Really? Me? Wow! I dont even know any huge gay people!
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Ross: Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so were face to face or-or should I climb down your back so were-were butt to face.
Joey: I think face to face.
Ross: I would say that.
Ross: Okay, here I go.
Ross: I prefer not to answer that right now, Im still carrying a little holiday weight.
Joey: Yknow, when we talked about face to face, I dont think we thought it all the way through.
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Joey: No Im not. Why would you say that? Thats just mean.
Chandler: Now Ive upset you? What did I say?
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it Oh My God, Im a woman!!!
Joey: Uh me? Gay? No! No. No, but I have a number of close friends who are. (Chandler and Ross look at each other.)
The Interviewer: So, lets talk about women. Im sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? Im her sister.
Janine: No! I mean you're a really nice guy and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend, I'm just y'know, I just don't feel that way about you.
Joey: Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
Janine: I don't think so.
Joey: Oh, I do. (Gives her the Joey-love look.) How you doin?
Joey: Not much to tell there Im really shy.
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
Joey: Bye-bye. (The interviewer leaves and he sits down with the rest of the gang.) I did it!
The Interviewer: (returning) Oh wait! I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this. Other than Days of Our Lives, whats your favorite soap opera?
Joey: Oh, I dont watch soap operas. Excuse me, I have a life, yknow?
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe they didnt put it in the part where you said you didnt watch soap operas.
Joey: Yeah, I called the lady about that. I told her I was just joking. She was pretty nice about that.
PHOEBE: Eight dollars and 27 cents. But not really, 'cause I put in the first two, just to, you know, get the ball rolling, and to make myself feel better.
Chandler: Freedom! I want my freedom! Why wont you here me?! (Opens the door) Sophie, help me! Help me!! (Sophie stands up)
Rachel: Yeah hon, it cant hurt to put your name down! I mean in if two years if youre not engaged you just dont use it.
Joey: Because... look, no one wants this to happen more than me, ok? (in a trembling voice) I have gone over this moment in my head a hundred times and not once did I ever say no! (sighs) I couldn't do it to Ross!
Ross: Well, I still think I was right about that whole Mark thing.
Phoebe: But they shouldn't happen, you know what, you're, you're in a terrible, terrible business. Oh God, I don't wanna be the person who makes your face look like that.
PHOEBE: 'Cause my, my grandmother's never had chicken pox. Please, please tell me you have, 'cause oh my God, I forgot how cute you are.
Phoebe: I remember the day I got my first pay check. There was a cave in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed.
Ross: Oh, I missed you too.
Rachel: (stopping him) Hey-whoa-whoa-whoa!! Ho-ho-hold on a sec there, Mr. Kissey! Y'know, I've been meaning to talk to you about this whole, little, new European thing you got going on, and I just need to tell you that it makes me very uncomfortable and I justy'knowstop it!
Joey: Yknow Terry, I-I dont really need to do this. I got my own cable TV series, (Pause) with a robot.
Carol: I was gonna say
Emily: Oh, so did I.
Emily: Hey! I missed you.
Phoebe: I dont what your talking about. (Laughs nervously and continues to leaqve)
Joshua: Yeah! I mean youre-youre beautiful and smart and sophisticateda lot of this isnt based on tonight.
Monica: I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)
Rachel: Im sorry. Im so sorry.
Phoebe: Nothing, I just thought I'd stop by.. y'know, after the uh... that I.. y'know, so what are you doing here?
Rachel: Stop it! I will kill you. I hate the fact that my room is so small.
Ross: Uh, I dont know, whatever.
Ross: I cant, I cant even believe her! No, yknow what, I am, I am gonna go!
Monica: Hey, I have all the space I need. Just do what I did.
Emily: I wish I could.
Emily: I love both of you!
Ross: Yeah, I know, I uh, I tried them on.
Bonnie: Hi! My boss let me off early, so I took the train.
Monica: Well at least, Im going to mute it.
Phoebe: I just wish they'd realise they should be together.
Phoebe: Oh! These are the ones I was looking at in the store. (she got earrings)
Phoebe: Boy! I didnt see that coming!
Chandler: Forget it! Okay, Im not giving up the apartment.
Phoebe: (after a short pause) I didn't even think about that! (pause) Aaargh, sexual politics!!
Tim: I gotta tell you, you look great now.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
Rachel: I know Monica's worst Thanksgiving.
Ross: I mean, why not! I mean, I mean why not?!
Ross: I could ask her to live with me!
Ross: I dont want to do that.
Ross: Yeah, no, youre right, I know, youre right, Im not, Im not gonna do it. All right, thanks guys. (Gets up to leave.)
Ross: Nothing! Theres nothing to do! I mean, she lives there, I live here. I mean, she-shed have to uh, move here. She should move here!
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
Rachel: Or Ill give them to my new boyfriend, Joshua.
Rachel: Ohh Tag, umm youre such a great guy and we have sooo much fun together but I dont-I dont
Present Chandler's voice: Remember that big party? Freshman year? A week before Christmas vacation? I do. You had some visitors.
Phoebe: Oh no, I know! I know! It's the one where Joey got Monica's turkey stuck on his head!
Joey: Ooh, I like that.
Phoebe: I cant help it. I need the meat. The baby needs the meat.
Rachel: Okay, but Ross, eventually you and I are gonna be dating.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, ooh, oohoh, I have a game!
Phoebe: Oh, I have cards!
Joey: Yeah! Okay. (Joey picks a card.) Phoebe, you look, I cant.
Monica: I dont know!
Ross: I know.
Joey: I figured, take a guess, help a charity, free boat!
JOEY: Seriously, you like it? This guy was sellin' them on 8th avenue and I looked at 'em and I though, you know what I don't have?
Ross: Fine! No more dinosaur stuff! Can I talk about fossils? (Joey is about to sit down and hears this so instead he groans and exits.)
Phoebe: Ohh! (She moves.) Oh my. Oh, that reminds me, I have to see my OB-GYN today.
Rachel: Okay, Phoebe, honey, you gotta be kidding. I mean, you know you cannot keep one of these babies!
Chandler: You know what just occurred to me? This could be our last Thanksgiving just the two of us. I mean, we could be getting a baby soon!
Monica: Hello...? Oh hi... Oh my God...! Really...? I can't wait to tell Chandler... Ok, goodbye. (hangs up)
Chandler: I KNOW!!!
Joey: I dont know.
Joey: I dont want to move again!
Chandler: Oh no-no-no I was just squinting. That doesnt mean anything.
Ross: (quietly) That-that would be incredible. Thank you so much. I-I still can't believe someone ate it!! I mean, look, I left a note and everything.
Phoebe: Okay, whatever. Yknow what? I dont have time have time to convince you because hes only here for four hours, and Im gonna go see him! (Gets up and leaves.)
Ross: No! No! Of course it didnt mean anything! I mean, uh well, I can understand why Emily would think it meant something, yknow, because-because it was you
Bonnie: (getting up and leaving) (to Ross) Okay, Ill see you in our room.
Melissa: Okay. (To Phoebe) Well, it was great meeting you. And uh Rachel, I-I dont think Ill be calling you (hails a cab) because umm, yknow youve gotten weird. (The cab pulls up.) Take care you guys.
Monica: As a thank you, Rachel and I will kiss for one minute.
Joanna: Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you cant stay my assistant forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons.
Joey: I know! It's stuck!!!
Joey: Uhh, look, your eyes still popping out a little, Im gonna go get some ice.
Ross: (turning around.) Umm, uh, I was just telling the guys
The Singing Man: Ill see you tomorrow morning!
Joey: (to Rachel) I bet I stopped listening before you did.
Joey: Come on C.H.E.E.S.E., Im not leaving without you! Try routing your backup source through your primary CPU.
Phoebe: I don't know. I'll just handle itI'll ask you to talk to him!
Chandler: Next time you snore, Im rolling ya over!
Joey: I gotta do what I gotta do, you gotta do what you gotta do, you just do it.
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Rachel: Im sorry. I didntI dont come in here a lot.
Phoebe: Oh-okay, I get the game now.
Monica: Ill pick it up for you!
Chandler: Monica and I almost got married last night.
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Ross: Oh, no, I didnt mean, uh
Ross: All right, I just wanted to check.
Joey: Yeah! And I like to hang out in a quiet place where I can talk to my friends.
Joey: (approvingly) Oh! ok, yeah, I think I can do that. Yeah ok, there's this party scene coming up.. and Olivia and her husband are there and all Drake wants to do is grab her and kiss her, but he can't... And that makes me think about all those times when I wanted to grab you and kiss you, but you didn't know so I would just pretend everything was cool, but really, it was killing me.
Rachel: Okay, well if I stop playing with Joey and Chandler, can I play with Mark?
Rachel: I mean maybe you didnt hear about a serious relationship called me and Joshua?
Ross: I gotta get to work.
The Saleslady: May I help you ladies?
Mike: I want to stay too but I've gone as bad as much use out of these boxers as I can..
Joshua: (coming back in) Im sorry.
Monica: I am, arent I?
Phoebe: No, Im-Im not sure about Hulk, but I like the idea of a name starting with "The."
Joey: Yeah, Rach, I think youre handling that really well.