words in movies
Rachel: So, Im in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle, and guess who the clue is for three down. (She hands the magazine to Joey.)
Joey: (reading) Three down, Days Of Our Lives star blank Tribbiani. Thats me!! Im blank!!
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Monica: Three down knows Im married, whats three down doin?
Joey: No. They really like me over there. They want to do a big profile on me, but I said no.
Joey: Remember what happened the last time I did an interview for them? I said I write a lot of my own lines, and then the writers got mad and made my character fall down the elevator shaft. So who knows what I might say this time.
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Joey: Fine! All right, Ill do it. But hey! You guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I yknow, start to say something stupid.
Rachel: Come on! We will be there for you the whole time! Just remember gal pal Rachel Green. (Excited) Ha-ha! Im gonna be in Soap Opera Digest! And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle. (Looks at Joey.) Seriously, proud of you.
The Interviewer: I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.
The Interviewer: (To Joey) Yknow I think its great you wanted to meet here. Yknow when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they want to go to a big fancy restaurant.
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
Gunther: Can I get you anything?
The Interviewer: Umm, Ill have a cup of coffee.
Joey: And Ill have all the muffins.
Joey: (finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (Starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (Smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (Gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne baby Im gonna want to meet her.
Joey: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, (Joey from TV) you know that's bad for the paper tray.
Joey: Thank you. Wait-wait-wait-wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am
Phoebe: Im gonna get some coffee, anyone want anything?
Rachel: Oh yeah, Id actually love a blueberry muffin and a chamomile tea.
Phoebe: (interrupting him) I was just being polite!
Chandler: Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
Joey: I think youre right.
Joey: In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And Im also a mento for the kids.(The gang shake their heads.) Yknow a mento, a role model. (Chandler bites his fist to keep from talking.)
Joey: Matter of fact, I do.
Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Joey: Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! (Checks his pants.) Yeah, my pants are a little loose!
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Joey: I like it.
Joey: The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limesHey, what was in that brown jar?
Joey: Uhh, I dont believe in these crazy diets yknow, just everything in moderation.
Joey: Ill take those to go. (To the interviewer) For the kids.
The Interviewer: Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you. You were on the show years ago and then they killed you off. What happened there?
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
Joey: Well, I said that I (The gang jumps up and interrupts him.)
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
The Interviewer: Umm, Im gonna just go get this warmed up. (She takes her coffee mug up to the counter.)
Rachel: (scoffs at him) Yeah, thats gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest. Well I (leans into the microphone again) I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.
Phoebe: Umm, I I just think you dont expect someone so hot to be so sweet.
The Interviewer: Oh! I like that. Whats your name?
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Rachel: Ive never lived like this before.
Joey: I know.
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (Stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Monica: You cant say that!! You-you dont know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldnt...bend that way. So... (Looks at Joey.)
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you!
Joey: Really? Me? Wow! I dont even know any huge gay people!
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Ross: Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so were face to face or-or should I climb down your back so were-were butt to face.
Joey: I think face to face.
Ross: I would say that.
Ross: Okay, here I go.
Ross: I prefer not to answer that right now, Im still carrying a little holiday weight.
Joey: Yknow, when we talked about face to face, I dont think we thought it all the way through.
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Joey: No Im not. Why would you say that? Thats just mean.
Chandler: Now Ive upset you? What did I say?
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it Oh My God, Im a woman!!!
Joey: Uh me? Gay? No! No. No, but I have a number of close friends who are. (Chandler and Ross look at each other.)
The Interviewer: So, lets talk about women. Im sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? Im her sister.
Janine: No! I mean you're a really nice guy and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend, I'm just y'know, I just don't feel that way about you.
Joey: Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
Janine: I don't think so.
Joey: Oh, I do. (Gives her the Joey-love look.) How you doin?
Joey: Not much to tell there Im really shy.
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
Joey: Bye-bye. (The interviewer leaves and he sits down with the rest of the gang.) I did it!
The Interviewer: (returning) Oh wait! I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this. Other than Days of Our Lives, whats your favorite soap opera?
Joey: Oh, I dont watch soap operas. Excuse me, I have a life, yknow?
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe they didnt put it in the part where you said you didnt watch soap operas.
Joey: Yeah, I called the lady about that. I told her I was just joking. She was pretty nice about that.
MONICA: [seeing TV] Hey, I went up.
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
Joey: Well uh, I don't know about who's here, but I can tell you for damn sure who's not here and that's Rachel!!
Rachel: Whoa!! Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What time did your little friend leave? (Ross cant answer that) Oh my God. She was there? She was still there? She was in there, when I was in there?!
JOEY: Well if he's not gonna eat it, I will.
MONICA: Listen you guys, I don't mean to be a pain about this but, um, I've noticed that some of you are just placing them on. You wanna push the caps until you hear them click. [she demonstrates, Gunther starts to walk to the door] Gunther, where're you going?
Rachel: (sees the chick and the duck) Oh, yeah, Im sorry. They used to live here; sometimes they migrate back over.
Jill: Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. (she kisses him on the cheek) See ya.
ROSS: I know.
BIG BULLY: You know what I keep wondering? Why you two are still sitting here.
Monica: Honey, Im not returning them. Okay? I mean I-I know they cost a lot, but Im going to wear them all the time. Youll see. Besides, I love the compliments. I mean, have you ever had something so beautiful everyone wanted it?
MRS GREEN: I mean, this is no offense to your dad, sweetie, but I was thinking there might be more.
Ross: Well let therewhat if a man comes along and puts a gun to your head and says, "You ride this bike or Ill sh Ill shoot you."
RACHEL: Agh, what a jerk. I kept talking about you and he kept asking me out. I mean, naturally, you know, I said no.
PHOEBE: Yeah, I don't know.
RACHEL: Yeah Phoebe, I completely understand.
Rachel: Rachel Green's office!! Give me that phone! (takes the phone) Hello, this is Rachel Green, how can I help you? Uh huh ... ok then ... I'll pass you back to your son (gives phone to Gavin)
Ross: No, actually I was just saying it looks like we're not sitting together. But now you mention it, there was ice there that night... It was the first frost...
JOEY: Fine, make fun. I think it's jaunty.
Phoebe: Oh yes, yes, yes you can. Just say, um, 'Phoebe, my work is my life and that's what I have to do right now'. And I say 'your work?! Your work?! How can you say that?!'. And then you say, um, 'it's tearing me apart, but I have no choice. Can't you understand that?'. And I say (Hits him) 'no! No! I can't understand that!'.
Monica: (on phone) Uh, Michelle. Yeah, that was me, I-I dialed your number by mistake. (listens) Oh, you're so sweet. Yeah, we were a great couple. I know I really miss him. Well, you know how it is, it's that....
Young Ethan: Well, think about it. It's always on the news. 'A man is being held up, at gunpoint.' 'Tourists are being terrorised, at gunpoint.' And I just kept thinking: why does people continue to go there? (He checks his watch.) Oh, ah. I should go.
Ross: (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many drinks) Im an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and Id be out and shed, shed see some beautiful woman, and, and shed be Ross y'know look at her, and Id think, God, my wife is cool!
Monica: That's weird. I've had the same number of beers as you and I don't feel anything at all. (Chandler approaches)
Phoebe: Okay. Umm look, youre coming on a little strong. But Im going to give you the benefit of the doubt, because it seems the universe really wants to be together. So, why dont we just start over okay? And you can just tell me about yourself.
RACHEL: Uh, no she doesn't but I can, I can get a message to her.
Monica: I think it's a great idea. Yeah, we could have a dinner party and just invite her close friends.
Ross: No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults.
MONICA: I don't know, I lost it all ok. I lost it.
RACHEL: I, I don't have it.
Ross: No, y'know what, I guess it's partially my fault. Y'know, I shouldn't've, uh, asked you to start off with a monkey. I should've started you off with like a pen or a pencil.
MONICA: I hope you cleaned your hair out of the drain.
Monica: I know! I know! I am a terrible person! I mean, Chandler is never going to trust me with anything ever again!
PHOEBE: Oh, alright, that's it, now I have to go see him.
PHOEBE: I don't know what to do with that.
ROSS: I think we proved our point.
Mike: Well, I mean... It sounds good to me. And that way we can save up, come back in a few years and make an even bigger donation.
Monica: (opening the door and frantically) Okay, guys! The candy is coming; I just need another 15 minutes for the chocolate to cool!
Ross: That, for all I knew would, could last forever. That to me is a break-up.
Emily: I uh, Ive been to his apartment and he wasnt there, and uh. I need to talk to him, so do you have any idea where he is?
CHANDLER: Yeah, I wouldn't know having missed everything.
Rachel: I don't know! He hasn't called me since that one time when we went out. I see him in the hallway, we flirt, I'm all ha-ha-ha-ha, and nothing.
Rachel: Oh no, you guys, just stay here, Im gonna go check her diaper, Pheebs you wanna come?
Joey: Wait, wait, wait. You want him, I want her. He likes you.
JOEY: Look, I don't wanna hear this right now.
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, I didn't know.
RACHEL: Ok, ok, ok, I will, I will, I, hey, I will clean the apartment for two months.
PHOEBE: I know you're just moving uptown but I'm really gonna miss you.
Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)
Joey: Oh yeah! Amy just burned Jos manuscript. I dont see how he could ever forgive her.
ROSS: Yeah, c'mon I mean I though, you know, I thought we're just foolin' around. Like when, uh, when we were kids.
MRS. GREENE: You thought I was Rachel?
Ross: Look, Im not trying to get out of anything, okay. I thought our relationship was dead!
Chandler: Oh. Oh right! Right! Because youre still seeing him and uh, hes a good guy. I mean, I remember a time when (He fakes falling asleep.)
Erica: Reverend, can I ask? Does the bible say anything about adoption?
PHOEBE: Ok, so I guess we don't invite her parents.
Joey: (in a gravely, painful voice) Okay. "Hey, Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you."
RACHEL: Wow you, you. I had no idea.
RACHEL: Now I love you even more.
MONICA: I don't know, maybe. I mean I'm dating a man who's pool I once peed in.
RACHEL: No, I knew.
RACHEL: I do.
Phoebe: No he wont. And thats not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now yknow what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I dont have my principles, I dont have anything!
Joey: Y'know what, I dont think we should listen to this anymore. (Goes to open the door)
Rachel: Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me!
JANITOR: Your monkey found a new career, in the entertainment field. That's all I know.
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.
PHOEBE: Alright, I can get you out.
GUNTHER: I um, was sorta thinking about maybe...
ROSS: I know.
Ross: Hi Rachel! Here's your sister Amy! She thinks I need pec implants!
Chandler: With the balled-up socks? I figured you taught him that.
Joey: Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can.
Phoebe: Umm, Rachel and I were just discussing it and she had some very interesting insights.
Jane: (from the answering machine) Hi Joey it's Jane Rogers, can't wait for your party tonight. Listen, I forgot your address, can you give me a call? Thanks, bye.
Bobby: Well I really have high hopes for my band.
Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.
MONICA: I can't believe you're dressing up for him. I mean, you're just, you're setting yourself up all over again.
MONICA: Ok, thanks for coming, I hope you guys had fun.
MONICA: You heard the woman. Peel, chop, devil! I can't believe I lost 2 minutes.
MRS. GREENE: I think I saw Rachel out in the hall.
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
Fun Bobby: Hey, sorry I'm late. But my, uh, grandfather, he- died about two hours ago. But I-I-I couldn't get a flight out 'til tomorrow, so here I am!
MONICA: Oh, I ordered mine first.
Phoebe: It's okay, I mean she had a really incredible life. And it's not like I'm never gonna see her again, y'know she's gonna visit.
PHOEBE: Oh all right, then I guess we're going back into the hallway.
Paul: I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?
Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
PHOEBE: Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy.
MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
ROSS: Well because I have to work on Monday, I have a big presentation.
MONICA: If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.
CHANDLER: I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me and Heckles...Would you knock it off?
RICHARD: Actually, if it's possible, I love you more.
Monica: All right thats it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I dont care!
Joey: I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political.
Chandler: Y'know what, I think we can go out there. I mean they have more important things to worry about.
Ross: That may be the most depressing thing Ive heard in my life. I should probably get these to my lawyers office.
JOEY: Oh yeah yeah. I process. People want the processing, I'm the one they call.
PHOEBE: I, I, I'm hideous.