words in movies
Rachel: So, Im in my apartment doing the Soap Opera Digest crossword puzzle, and guess who the clue is for three down. (She hands the magazine to Joey.)
Joey: (reading) Three down, Days Of Our Lives star blank Tribbiani. Thats me!! Im blank!!
Monica: How cool is this?! We know three down! Im touching three down! (She has her hand on his shoulder.)
Monica: Three down knows Im married, whats three down doin?
Joey: No. They really like me over there. They want to do a big profile on me, but I said no.
Joey: Remember what happened the last time I did an interview for them? I said I write a lot of my own lines, and then the writers got mad and made my character fall down the elevator shaft. So who knows what I might say this time.
Rachel: Oh, come on Joey! You will totally keep it in check this time, and plus yknow the publicity would be really good for your career! And you deserve that! And if you do the interview you can mention, oh I dont know, gal pal Rachel Green?
Joey: Fine! All right, Ill do it. But hey! You guys have to be at the next table so you can stop me if I yknow, start to say something stupid.
Rachel: Come on! We will be there for you the whole time! Just remember gal pal Rachel Green. (Excited) Ha-ha! Im gonna be in Soap Opera Digest! And not just in the dumb crossword puzzle. (Looks at Joey.) Seriously, proud of you.
The Interviewer: I really appreciate you taking the time to do this.
The Interviewer: (To Joey) Yknow I think its great you wanted to meet here. Yknow when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they want to go to a big fancy restaurant.
Joey: (laughs) Actually, I didnt know the magazine was paying for it. Wouldnt have mattered, Im doing this for the fans, not for the free food.
Gunther: Can I get you anything?
The Interviewer: Umm, Ill have a cup of coffee.
Joey: And Ill have all the muffins.
Joey: (finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (Starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (Smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (Gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne baby Im gonna want to meet her.
Joey: Shh, OK, here I come, here I come. See I'm comin' to fix the copier, I can't get to the copier, I'm thinkin' what do I do, what do I do so I just watch 'em have sex. And then I say, wait, here's my line, (Joey from TV) you know that's bad for the paper tray.
Joey: Thank you. Wait-wait-wait-wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am
Phoebe: Im gonna get some coffee, anyone want anything?
Rachel: Oh yeah, Id actually love a blueberry muffin and a chamomile tea.
Phoebe: (interrupting him) I was just being polite!
Chandler: Well, I see you've had a very productive day. Don't you think the cowboy hat is a little much?
Joey: I think youre right.
Joey: In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And Im also a mento for the kids.(The gang shake their heads.) Yknow a mento, a role model. (Chandler bites his fist to keep from talking.)
Joey: Matter of fact, I do.
Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Joey: Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! (Checks his pants.) Yeah, my pants are a little loose!
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Rachel: Its a trifle. Its got all of these layers. First theres a layer of ladyfingers, then a layer of jam, then custard, which I made from scratch. [Joey and Ross make impressed faces] Then raspberries, more ladyfingers, then beef saut�ed with peas and onions, [Joey and Ross look like somethings wrong.] then a little more custard, and then bananas, and then I just put some whipped cream on top!
Joey: I like it.
Joey: The fridge broke. I have to eat everything. Cold cuts, ice cream, limesHey, what was in that brown jar?
Joey: Uhh, I dont believe in these crazy diets yknow, just everything in moderation.
Joey: Ill take those to go. (To the interviewer) For the kids.
The Interviewer: Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you. You were on the show years ago and then they killed you off. What happened there?
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
Joey: Well, I said that I (The gang jumps up and interrupts him.)
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
The Interviewer: Umm, Im gonna just go get this warmed up. (She takes her coffee mug up to the counter.)
Rachel: (scoffs at him) Yeah, thats gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest. Well I (leans into the microphone again) I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.
Phoebe: Umm, I I just think you dont expect someone so hot to be so sweet.
The Interviewer: Oh! I like that. Whats your name?
Joey: How come you have two? Chandler: Well this one's for you. Joey: Get out. Chandler: No, I can't. No-no, listen, I, I know how much this means to you and I also know that this is about more than just jewelry, (Puts bracelet on Joey) it's about you and me and the fact that we're (Reading bracelet) best buds. Joey: Wow, is this friendship? I think so. Check it out, we're bracelet buddies. Chandler: That's what they'll call us. [The next one is from Episode 618: The One Where Ross Dates A Student.]
Rachel: Ive never lived like this before.
Joey: I know.
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Ross: All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, because I wanna be a good friend, and damnit I am a good friend. So just, just shut up and close your eyes (kisses Joey).
Joey: Wow, you are a good friend, 'course the audition was this morning, and I didn't get it. But that was a hell of a kiss. Rachel is a very lucky girl.
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (Stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Monica: You cant say that!! You-you dont know!! I mean I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain! Anyway I-I tried, but I-I couldnt...bend that way. So... (Looks at Joey.)
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you!
Joey: Really? Me? Wow! I dont even know any huge gay people!
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Ross: Okay. Now-now-now should I climb down your front so were face to face or-or should I climb down your back so were-were butt to face.
Joey: I think face to face.
Ross: I would say that.
Ross: Okay, here I go.
Ross: I prefer not to answer that right now, Im still carrying a little holiday weight.
Joey: Yknow, when we talked about face to face, I dont think we thought it all the way through.
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Joey: No Im not. Why would you say that? Thats just mean.
Chandler: Now Ive upset you? What did I say?
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it Oh My God, Im a woman!!!
Joey: Uh me? Gay? No! No. No, but I have a number of close friends who are. (Chandler and Ross look at each other.)
The Interviewer: So, lets talk about women. Im sure our female readers will be interested to know about your romantic life.
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? Im her sister.
Janine: No! I mean you're a really nice guy and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend, I'm just y'know, I just don't feel that way about you.
Joey: Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
Janine: I don't think so.
Joey: Oh, I do. (Gives her the Joey-love look.) How you doin?
Joey: Not much to tell there Im really shy.
The Interviewer: So, thats it. I guess thats all I need. Thank you so much. I think they will be running this in the beginning of next month.
Joey: Bye-bye. (The interviewer leaves and he sits down with the rest of the gang.) I did it!
The Interviewer: (returning) Oh wait! I almost forgot. We have to ask everybody this. Other than Days of Our Lives, whats your favorite soap opera?
Joey: Oh, I dont watch soap operas. Excuse me, I have a life, yknow?
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe they didnt put it in the part where you said you didnt watch soap operas.
Joey: Yeah, I called the lady about that. I told her I was just joking. She was pretty nice about that.
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Rachel: Yes. Hi, Id like to order a pizza. Okay, can I ask you a question? Is-is the cute blond guy delivering tonight? Very Ambercrombie & Fitch. (Joey enters.) Ill call you back.
Sarah: Fine, I'm sorry, I didn't think it was that big a deal.
Joey: I really am sorry about, you know..before. I just want to make sure you know that I really do like you.
Girl: (Reading a book) Mommy, I can't find Waldo.
Sarah: What are you doing? I thought you don't share food.
Sarah: Oh, no! This is work. I should call in. Can you excuse me?
Ross: Yeah, we want everyone to be there. As much as I hate to delay your doing weird sex stuff to my little sister.
Agency guy: I don't understand.
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Phoebe: No, no, no, I actually it's any baby animals: kittens, fish babies... You know... especially veal... and this, this nice vein of fat running through it... (she cuts the meat, picks it up with her fork and holds it in front of her mouth, which she keeps closed, trying to overcome her vegetarian thoughts... and... puts it in her mouth... Clearly not enjoying the meat...) Hmmm... yummy (everybody seems okay with it, except Mike. He's making a hmmmm.... face... Then Phoebe swallows it) Hmmm... (at first she likes it, but then, in an instant puts her hand in front of her mouth and runs from the table. You hear a door slamming.)
Monica: (to Chandler) Oh my God. That was so amazing! When did you (pause) Hold on! I almost forgot (she turns to Mike) loser! (back to Chandler) When did you stop sucking?
Chandler: I could perform an operation on you and prove it if you'd like.
Erica: I can't believe this.
Erica: Oh yeah. I actually liked you guys. But it doesn't matter, because what you did was wrong. (walks away again, but Chandler catches up with her again)
Monica: Hi Amanda! Actually now... it’s... is not a good time. Dinner tomorrow night? (Phoebe mouths 'no') Ok, Phoebe and I will see you then!
Rachel: Oh, Pheebs, baby, that's nice but, you know what, I think I'm ok. Why don't you give it to one of your other single girlfriends?
Rachel: Yknow I cant even worry about that right now, cause I got the cutie little baby, oh I cant believe how much I love her, I cant get enough of her, like right now I miss her. I actually miss her.
Phoebe: A new grocery store. The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and thats what they gave me? (Looks up) When I get up there Im going to kick some ass.
Monica: I would get a room with this cake. I think I could show this cake a good time!
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry honey, you know, but when she said "sex" I wasn't thinking about "sex with you"!
Joey: Uhm... oh... I don't know, it's too hard.
Chandler: Yeah, well I went to boarding school with four hundred boys. Any sex I had would've involved a major lifestyle choice.
Director: I dont see it. (To Janine) You are dancing with the tall guy over there. Tall guy, raise your hand! (He does. Janine goes over to him.)
Chandler: Look, I'm sorry I didn't give them your tape. And I promise, next time to submit you whether I think you are right for the part or not.
CHANDLER: Question. If I don't care about my watch, can I use it as a weapon?
Chandler: Oh, uhm... I have to work too. Yeah, I'm stuck at the office all day.
Phoebe: (patting her bag) I got them!
Joey: Well, I dont know. I think it does something to salami.
Chandler: I was in the car with Nancy all day.
Monica: Hey that reminds me, I thought we could use some extra luck so I brought a wishbone home from work.
Chandler: I don’t know. What do you think?
Chandler: I do too.
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.
Monica: I think we should.
Ross: I don’t know. Phoebe, if one of us saw Mike with another woman would you want us to tell you?
Ross: I know, and with the baby coming?
Ross: I just can’t see Chandler cheating!
Phoebe: Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)
Ross: Believe me, if I did see with someone, there’s no way I... (Phoebe starts pinching him again)
Monica: She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me! Look at this, look. She buys tickets for plays that I wanna see. She, she buys clothes from stores that I'm intimidated by the sales people. She spent three hundred dollars on art supplies.
Chandler: I know this is really hard and we're really sorry.
Monica: I mean this has been like my dream since I got my first Easy Bake Oven and opened Easy Monicas Bakery. I mean I would kill for this job. I mean I can totally do this job, and God knows I paid my dues. (She removes her fake breasts) But Petes just doing this because he has a crush on me.
Monica: We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. (Points to Rachel and Phoebe) It is beautiful, isn't it?
Ross: Yeah, I mean, if you moved there, you have to leave here. I mean, how can you leave this place?
Rachel: Oh (happy) oh no just stopped to throw up a little bit. (Emma starts crying again.) Oh come on, what am I gonna do, its been hours and it wont stop crying.
Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
Chandler: Well, I think, I think Ross knows about me and Monica.
Ross: Chandler!!! Chandler!!! (He opens the door to the apartment but is stopped by the chain; Chandler and Monica quickly stop making out and try to get dressed.) Chandler, I saw what you were doing through the window! Chandler, I saw what you were doing to my sister! Now get out here!
Chandler: Look, we're not just messing around! I love her. Okay, I'm in love with her.
Rachel: Yeah, I do. I-I do, do that.
Monica: When I take a shower, she leaves me little notes on the mirror.
Phoebe: That’s nice. I like having things to read in the bathroom.
Rachel: Well, Phoebe that’s fine because I’m not moving.
Chandler: I know. (He kisses her.)
Rachel: Well y’know, I don’t want you to be cold.
Monica: Can I ask you a question?
Carol: Ooh, actually Ive been making a list of all the women I know who might be into doing this!
Chandler: I know.
Joey: You know, I'm really sorry I wasn't more supportive before.
Chandler: I just didn't want to tell you in front of them.
Charity guy: On behalf of the Children of New York, I reject your money.
Monica: I know.
Chandler: To her face? Look its the end of the date, Im standing there, I know all shes waiting for is for me to say Ill call her and its just y'know, comes out. I cant help it, its a compulsion.
Ross: I love this. (he got a sweater)
Chandler: What did I marry into?
CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.
Chandler: (looking around) Did I go to this school?
Rachel: Ross, I have been walking around like this since the plane! I canyou have so crossed a line. (Heads for the bathroom)
Monica: What? You bet Id lose a nail?
Chandler: Totally. I had sex in High school...
Joey: No you wont. Look he knows he did a terrible thing and I believe him, hes sorry. But, (to Chandler) youve got one more apology to make, all right, youve got to apologize to Mary-Angela.
Chandler: I know it. You know, I'm totally gonna ask her out.
MR. GELLER: Am I supposed to stand here and listen to this on my birthday?
Ross: Dude, I was gonna ask her out.
Chandler: Well, I officially give you permission to break the pact.
Joey: (to Gene) I know it could be intimidating for regular people to be around celebrities but... relax, I'm just like you! (pause) Only better looking and richer.
Ross: I know, and I can't stop sweating. (he walks towards Missy)
Ross: Thank you. (they shake hands) All right, here I go. Hey, remember how scary it used to be going up to girls in college?
Phoebe: Whats the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandlers!
Joey: Look, theres nothing I can do for him right now, hes still in his sweat pants, thats still Phase One. Y'know? Ill be back for Phase Two, I would never miss Phase Two.
Rachel: (talking with a higher voice, and puckered lips kind of like you do to a baby or...well a puppy its hard to explain. Just use your imagination!) Oh, well, you are so cute! I wish I could play with you more, but Ive got to go to work! I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting, yes I do. Yes I do. (still talking like that) Bye-bye, Joey. Oh, I seriously cant stop it. (exits)
Amanda: (In a fake British accent) It's so nice to see you! Both of you! Look at me. Look how young I look! (gives her coat to Monica as well) Oh gosh! We have so much to catch up on! But first things first: touch my abs (at which point she grabs both Phoebe and Monica's hands and places them both on her stomach) I don't exercise at all! (she pulls them down to sit.) Oh gosh, so Monica, you're married!
Joey: Oh, wow! I'm so sorry, ok? I promise, we'll do better next time!
Rachel: Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I dont get.
Gene: Well, I will, because I won't be playing with you.
Monica: Wait a minute, Phoebe! We should be partners. We should be catering partners. I mean, think about it! You're not working right now, and we have such a great time together!
Chandler: The meaning of the box is three fold. One (holds a finger up through the air hole), it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two (holds up another finger), it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three (holds up a third finger), it hurts!
Missy: Well, Chandler and I used to make out! A lot!
Joey: (smiling from ear to ear) Ah-haah! I win!!
Phoebe: Oh God no, I don't wanna see him take his clothes off!
Ross: I mean, theres no point in spending time with someone if-if its just fun. Its gotta be, its gotta be going somewhere right? So where-where is it going? (Pause) Ah! Thats-thats the real question. And-and the answer is is its going somewhere fun. Now I-I know what youre thinking, fun was fine for you like ten years ago yknow, but youre-youre not getting any younger. No I meanNo not you, not you, youyou are getting younger. I meanyou-you look like youre getting younger by the secondWhats your secret?
Phoebe: Look, I can't have a wedding with this money now. It's tainted.
Monica: Oh, no! I mean, obviously we want to see you take your clothes off! You big piece of eye candy!
Rachel: No, no, no... No, I mean... se-x-u-ally...
Phoebe: This is how I look when I'm turned on!
RACHEL: Well, we're not here to meet guys.� You have a boyfriend, I have a b. . . baby and a Ross.