words in movies
Rachel: Listen yknow what sir? For the last time, I dont care what the computer says, we did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little!
Joey: No. (Phoebe grabs the receipt and shows it to Joey who gets mad.) I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
Monica: (depressed) Thats right. Im no longer a bride. Ill never be a bride again. Now, Im just someones wife!
Chandler: And Im the happiest guy in the world! (Monica goes and sits down in a huff.) Oh honey, come on dont be upset. We still have so much to look forward to!
Monica: Thats true! (Happily) I knew I married you for a reason!
Chandler: Ill tell you what, I will go get them developed and you can go home.
Chandler: Okay, well Im gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. (Joey laughs again.) 32 Joe. Youre 32! (Exits)
Monica: Oh thanks. (Reading the bill) Champagne, strawberries Oh my God! I cant believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night!
Chandler: The cameras? Remember last night I told you to take them?
Chandler: Yes! Remember? Right before we cut the cake, I went up to you and I said
Ross: Oh-oh yeah, you-you came up to me and asked if I could do you a favor, and my Uncle Murray came up to you and handed you a check. And then you said, "Why do they call it a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?" (Chandler laughs.) Yeah, then you did that.
Ross: Well, Im sure theyre still somewhere here in the hotel. Ill-Ill help you look for them.
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Monica: Good. Okay, Im just gonna wait for Chandler to open the rest of them.
Monica: Whew. Although yknow, this is part of a salt and pepper set. I mean I guess yknow it may just count as a half a present. What do you think?
Phoebe: Well I guess its okay to open one more if its part of a set. Yknow, its probably this one. (Grabs another small one.)
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Rachel: Dont worry I promise that you will only have to be pregnant for a few more hours, cause Im going to tell the father today.
Phoebe: What?! I think hes cute.
Phoebe: Believe me Im trying.
Monica: Wow. Yknow it is so weird. I mean, youre gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea whats gonna happen.
Rachel: Yeah. Uh-huh, I guess it is pretty big news.
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
Rachel: Well its only different if he wants it to be. I mean, Im not gonna ask him for anything.
Phoebe: Okay. Then he still has this huge decision to make. Now hes walking around thinking, Do I want to be a dad? and then bam!
Phoebe: I dont. He got he-he-he-hes hit by a bus.
Joey: (warily) Who called here? Did she sound blond? Huh? Did-did-did she have an accent? I gotta make a call! (Starts to leave) I shoulda never walked into that Sunglass Hut!
Phoebe: Yes. Yes I am. Oh my God, Im gonna have a baby! (Joey and Phoebe hug.)
Joey: Well who is this guy?! Huh? Who is he? Cause I will track him down and kick his ass!
Chandler: Yes! And thats why Im under the table. Celebrating.
Ross: Well I checked in the uh, lost and found, I talked to the manager, no-ones turned them.
Chandler: All my energy is going into not asking that question. I cant believe I screwed this up!
Ross: Im sorry man. (Formally dressed people start to enter.) Heres a thought. This is the same ballroom. Theres a band. Theres gonna be plenty of dressed up people.
Ross: No-no-no, Im saying we-we buy more of this (disposable cameras) at the gift shop, throw our tuxes back on, and take a few pictures. All we have to do is make sure not to get anybody elses faces.
Ross: Im just thinking about your new bride at home. Okay? Do-do you really want to start your life together by letting her down?
Ross: Im telling you, this looks exactly like your wedding! Arent these the same flowers?
Chandler: I dont know, Monica picked out the flowers.
Chandler: I was in charge of the cameras! Gift shop?
Rachel: Phoebe the father is not here okay? I havent told him yet and I dont think I can tell him at all now!
Rachel: I dont know, let me think. I was walking down the street thinking, Im gonna tell the father today and then bam!
Rachel: I know, but I was just thinking about how huge this is for me. I didnt even go to how huge this was going to be for the father.
Monica: No! No! I shouldnt have even opened these! I mean IJoey I am out of control!! Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay?
Joey: Oh good, uh youre here. Uh Pheebs? Listen uh sit down. I-I got something I want to say.
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Phoebe: Hell yeah! Ill marry you! (She grabs the ring and puts it on.)
Phoebe: I can and I will! (Kisses him.)
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didnt have a baby in nine months!
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
Joey: (smiles then stops) Now I cant believe it! What? Rachels pregnant? (The girls nod yes.) Whos the father?
Joey: Ohh I wonder if that dude.
Joey: About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel, I didnt see who it was but (He walks out and closes the door.)
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God! I know who the father is (She walks into Monica and Chandlers.)
Ross: I heard it. I heard it.
Chandler: Oh yeah. Ill take, Ill take your picture. (He takes the picture with his finger over the lens.)
Phoebe: Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before, so I called the father and asked him to meet you here so you can tell him. Go!
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but Im a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that wont quit. (She takes the sweater out of her purse.) I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.
Chandler: Why dont you go up on stage. Ill get a picture of you doing the speech.
Ross: Im sorry, I meant a blue LeSabre.
Phoebe: Rachel has something that she wants to tell you and umm, I believe that this is your red sweater.
Phoebe: Oh no. Could I get anyone a coffee or poison? No? Just for me? Okay. (Walks away.)
Tag: Yknow, Im actually glad Phoebe called. (He pulls out a stool and Rachel sits down.) I know we broke up because you thought I wasnt mature enough, but Ive really grown up and think we should get back together.
Tag: Im ready for more.
Rachel: Im having a baby.
Monica: (throwing up the last present) I dont know how any of these got opened?!
Monica: I know! I know! I am a terrible person! I mean, Chandler is never going to trust me with anything ever again!
Joey: Well, I dont know. I think it does something to salami.
Joey: I do Rach. I do, and I so happy for you. (They hug.)
Rachel: No, I will. Im just not up for it tonight.
Joey: Hey Rach listen, no matter what this guy says I want you to know youre not gonna be alone in this.
Rachel: Im not?
Joey: Listen I uh (He takes her hand.) Its a scary world out there especially if youre a single mom. Yknow, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Yknow? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me?
Rachel: No! Joey, oh youre so sweet. Youre so-so sweet, honey. But Im not, Im not looking for a husband.
Joey: (heartbroken) I understand.
Rachel: Now, if you will excuse me I am going to go and lie down. (Exits.)
Phoebe: I cant say that didnt hurt. But Ill take you back Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Uh yeah. Pheebs, listen about that. I only offered
Monica: Yeah! Oh and interesting because I found the cameras in one of our bags! (Throws them into his chest.)
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Chandler: Okay. (Sees the living room.) You opened all the presents without me?! I thought we were supposed to do that together!
Ross: Well, Im gonna go get these (the floral bouquet he walked in with) in some water.
Ross: No-no, I took them from the hotel lobby. Yeah, they think they can charge me for some dirty movie and a bag of Mashuga nuts, they got another think coming. (Starts to leave.) Hey! My sweater! Ive been looking for this for like a month!
Ross: (shows Tag his sweater tag) Umm, I dont some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later.
Joey: Come on C.H.E.E.S.E., Im not leaving without you! Try routing your backup source through your primary CPU.
Phoebe: I don't know. I'll just handle itI'll ask you to talk to him!
Chandler: Next time you snore, Im rolling ya over!
Joey: I gotta do what I gotta do, you gotta do what you gotta do, you just do it.
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Rachel: Im sorry. I didntI dont come in here a lot.
Phoebe: Oh-okay, I get the game now.
Monica: Ill pick it up for you!
Chandler: Monica and I almost got married last night.
Rachel: I know isnt it? Its like Im right there with Joshua.
Ross: Oh, no, I didnt mean, uh
Ross: All right, I just wanted to check.
Joey: Yeah! And I like to hang out in a quiet place where I can talk to my friends.
Joey: (approvingly) Oh! ok, yeah, I think I can do that. Yeah ok, there's this party scene coming up.. and Olivia and her husband are there and all Drake wants to do is grab her and kiss her, but he can't... And that makes me think about all those times when I wanted to grab you and kiss you, but you didn't know so I would just pretend everything was cool, but really, it was killing me.
Rachel: Okay, well if I stop playing with Joey and Chandler, can I play with Mark?
Rachel: I mean maybe you didnt hear about a serious relationship called me and Joshua?
Ross: I gotta get to work.
The Saleslady: May I help you ladies?
Mike: I want to stay too but I've gone as bad as much use out of these boxers as I can..
Joshua: (coming back in) Im sorry.
Monica: I am, arent I?
Phoebe: No, Im-Im not sure about Hulk, but I like the idea of a name starting with "The."
Joey: Yeah, Rach, I think youre handling that really well.
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
Rachel: Im more than okay, I am really, really happy! Wanna know why?
Joshua: Do I?
Ross: Great! Because Emily and I are getting married in a month!
Phoebe: Wow! See, and I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything.
Chandler: Thats it?! I gave up my Disneyland story for that?
Monica: Hey. Oh good-good youre here! All right, I figured it out. Im gonna take two tables of eight, Im gonna add your parents, and Im gonna turn them into three tables of six. Okay? And I called the caterer; I added two extra meals, we are good to go!
Joshua: I-I gotta say, I-I-I-Im not too sure I agree with that.
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Ross: No, Chandler, you have to find the line between stealing and taking what the hotel owes you. For example: hair drier, no, no, no, but shampoo and conditioners, yes, yes, yes. (pause) Now, the salt shaker is off-limits, but the salt (he opens the salt shaker and pours the salt into his hand) I wish I'd thought this through.
Chandler: Oh, that's not true. You had an impact on me, I mean, it's 15 years later and we're still best friends. Doesn't that count for something?
Phoebe: I know! I know, and Ive only been playing for like an hour!
Chandler: Well, then, I might as well offer to stay.
Chandler: Yeah, I guess it's a little better now.
Mike: I get the joke. Sophisticated as it was. Now the thing I wanna say is... maybe we should have talked about this before. Us living together, you're not expecting a proposal, right?
Woman: Im Marjorie.
Phoebe: It's fun, God I love how sexy I am. (Coughs really loudly.)
Ross: Oh, thats not true! Ive got her lots of stuff she never took back.
Marjorie: I talk in my sleep.
Chandler: You mind if I
Joey: Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! (Starts for his room.) And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about.
Rachel: Yeah I know its really boring, but its like a big deal. Anyway, I was thinking about renting Cujo sometime.
Phoebe: Yeah, I think we are.
Phoebe: I still cannot believe youre engaged! (Ross looks at her) Just cause its happening so fast; not cause youre such a loser.
Phoebe: Im not gonna right to you! Thats not real!
Monica: Im changing out of this.
Monica: Im getting married next!!
Phoebe: I guess.
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
Chandler: Because Im cooler.
Rachel: (regretful) I'm sorry, too! (they look at each other sadly, then she recollects, and puts her hands over her eyes) OH GOD! I shouldn't have said anything!
Monica: Well, are you asleep right now, Joe? Cause I dont think you have to wear it unless you are!
Joey: I can't! It-it's stuck!
Kim: Oh don't be sorry, that's part of your job here to give your opinions and then I take credit for them--I'm kidding.
Monica: Oh my God! Shes amazing. Oh, oh Im so glad you guys got drunk and had sex!
Monica: Again. Yknow what? I think we all did.
Ross: Well w-w-w-w-wait, w-wait, wait, wait a minute! I mean a couple of stupid boxes get wet and she gets a Porsche?!
Ross: Oh, Rachel, Im-Im sorry.
Rachel: Ohh, God, I just got so nervous that he would say no.
Rachel: Uh, well, I think, I think he broke up with me.
Rachel: Yeah! I got my girls.
Joey: Well, that's gonna be tough Mon. I mean it's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt.
Rachel: Im not gonna marry Chandler!
Joshua: I gotta go.
Joey: I know. Ross is getting married.
PHOEBE: Ok, I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket, but I uh want to believe you.
Chandler: Why not?! I mean its just, its just climbing! Its just, its just steep!
Phoebe: Ok. Oh good, I'm dating a Russian cab driver. (to the shop assistant). Seriously does anyone buy this? I smell like beets!
Phoebe: Are you kidding. He is so considerate of my feelings and... you know I think... you'd also like to know that he is a very gentle lover.
Joey: Ah, Gunther, I cant pay for this right now because Im not working, so Ive had to cut down on some luxuries like uh, payin for stuff.
Phoebe: Well, I am. (Moves over and takes his hand.)
Phoebe: What are you guys talking about, I loved it! It was soo moving. Oh, plus its just, its so different from the stuff you usually hear.
Rachel: I did.
Emily: I packed while you were gone. I left some knickers under your pillow.
Ross: Okay... okay, maybe I will...
Rachel: I knew.
Ross: I do.
Janice: Oh, too soon, too schmoon. Face it honey, I am not letting you get away this time.
Ross: See, I see.... big passion in your future.
Rachel: Yeah! Im gonna have a boyfriend, youre gonna have a girlfriend
Julio: I can write an epic poem about this lip. (grabs her lower lip)
Rachel: Assistant buyer. Oh! I would be shopping... for a living!
Monica: They baked it. I cant take this anymore. Im gonna call a meeting tonight, Im gonna fire you tonight.
Rachel: I could not have done this without you.
Phoebe: Yeah. I actually am, yeah. Y'know life-lifes gonna had you all kinds of stuff, y'know you learn your little lessons and hopefully you grow. Wanna hear a new song?
Ross: (stopping suddenly and getting up) Okay, I gotta go.
Monica: Oh, I wish there was a job where I could wear this all the time. (Pause) Maybe someday, there will be.
Monica: Oh God! Orange juice just came out of my nose, but it was totally worth it. Oh my God, I completely forgot about your sound.
Rachel: Well neither do I!
Ross: Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room.
Ross: Oh Im, Im making this too hard. Okay, what do you want me to do.
CHANDLER: Oh, uh, he's not here right now, uh, I'm Chandler, can I take a message, or, or a fishtank?
Rachel: Well, actually, I meant for me. The hiring committee is meeting people all day and
Chandler: What a coincidence, I listen in my sleep.
Ross: No!! No!! I wanna stay. I wanna talk about this.
Rachel: Ummm. Oh! Im sorry. (She grabs the box and offers him a piece.) Its a little old but
CHANDLER: Yeah, Karen. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what? I just did.