words in movies
Rachel: Listen yknow what sir? For the last time, I dont care what the computer says, we did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little!
Joey: No. (Phoebe grabs the receipt and shows it to Joey who gets mad.) I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
Monica: (depressed) Thats right. Im no longer a bride. Ill never be a bride again. Now, Im just someones wife!
Chandler: And Im the happiest guy in the world! (Monica goes and sits down in a huff.) Oh honey, come on dont be upset. We still have so much to look forward to!
Monica: Thats true! (Happily) I knew I married you for a reason!
Chandler: Ill tell you what, I will go get them developed and you can go home.
Chandler: Okay, well Im gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. (Joey laughs again.) 32 Joe. Youre 32! (Exits)
Monica: Oh thanks. (Reading the bill) Champagne, strawberries Oh my God! I cant believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night!
Chandler: The cameras? Remember last night I told you to take them?
Chandler: Yes! Remember? Right before we cut the cake, I went up to you and I said
Ross: Oh-oh yeah, you-you came up to me and asked if I could do you a favor, and my Uncle Murray came up to you and handed you a check. And then you said, "Why do they call it a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?" (Chandler laughs.) Yeah, then you did that.
Ross: Well, Im sure theyre still somewhere here in the hotel. Ill-Ill help you look for them.
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Monica: Good. Okay, Im just gonna wait for Chandler to open the rest of them.
Monica: Whew. Although yknow, this is part of a salt and pepper set. I mean I guess yknow it may just count as a half a present. What do you think?
Phoebe: Well I guess its okay to open one more if its part of a set. Yknow, its probably this one. (Grabs another small one.)
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Rachel: Dont worry I promise that you will only have to be pregnant for a few more hours, cause Im going to tell the father today.
Phoebe: What?! I think hes cute.
Phoebe: Believe me Im trying.
Monica: Wow. Yknow it is so weird. I mean, youre gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea whats gonna happen.
Rachel: Yeah. Uh-huh, I guess it is pretty big news.
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
Rachel: Well its only different if he wants it to be. I mean, Im not gonna ask him for anything.
Phoebe: Okay. Then he still has this huge decision to make. Now hes walking around thinking, Do I want to be a dad? and then bam!
Phoebe: I dont. He got he-he-he-hes hit by a bus.
Joey: (warily) Who called here? Did she sound blond? Huh? Did-did-did she have an accent? I gotta make a call! (Starts to leave) I shoulda never walked into that Sunglass Hut!
Phoebe: Yes. Yes I am. Oh my God, Im gonna have a baby! (Joey and Phoebe hug.)
Joey: Well who is this guy?! Huh? Who is he? Cause I will track him down and kick his ass!
Chandler: Yes! And thats why Im under the table. Celebrating.
Ross: Well I checked in the uh, lost and found, I talked to the manager, no-ones turned them.
Chandler: All my energy is going into not asking that question. I cant believe I screwed this up!
Ross: Im sorry man. (Formally dressed people start to enter.) Heres a thought. This is the same ballroom. Theres a band. Theres gonna be plenty of dressed up people.
Ross: No-no-no, Im saying we-we buy more of this (disposable cameras) at the gift shop, throw our tuxes back on, and take a few pictures. All we have to do is make sure not to get anybody elses faces.
Ross: Im just thinking about your new bride at home. Okay? Do-do you really want to start your life together by letting her down?
Ross: Im telling you, this looks exactly like your wedding! Arent these the same flowers?
Chandler: I dont know, Monica picked out the flowers.
Chandler: I was in charge of the cameras! Gift shop?
Rachel: Phoebe the father is not here okay? I havent told him yet and I dont think I can tell him at all now!
Rachel: I dont know, let me think. I was walking down the street thinking, Im gonna tell the father today and then bam!
Rachel: I know, but I was just thinking about how huge this is for me. I didnt even go to how huge this was going to be for the father.
Monica: No! No! I shouldnt have even opened these! I mean IJoey I am out of control!! Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay?
Joey: Oh good, uh youre here. Uh Pheebs? Listen uh sit down. I-I got something I want to say.
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Phoebe: Hell yeah! Ill marry you! (She grabs the ring and puts it on.)
Phoebe: I can and I will! (Kisses him.)
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didnt have a baby in nine months!
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
Joey: (smiles then stops) Now I cant believe it! What? Rachels pregnant? (The girls nod yes.) Whos the father?
Joey: Ohh I wonder if that dude.
Joey: About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel, I didnt see who it was but (He walks out and closes the door.)
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God! I know who the father is (She walks into Monica and Chandlers.)
Ross: I heard it. I heard it.
Chandler: Oh yeah. Ill take, Ill take your picture. (He takes the picture with his finger over the lens.)
Phoebe: Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before, so I called the father and asked him to meet you here so you can tell him. Go!
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but Im a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that wont quit. (She takes the sweater out of her purse.) I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.
Chandler: Why dont you go up on stage. Ill get a picture of you doing the speech.
Ross: Im sorry, I meant a blue LeSabre.
Phoebe: Rachel has something that she wants to tell you and umm, I believe that this is your red sweater.
Phoebe: Oh no. Could I get anyone a coffee or poison? No? Just for me? Okay. (Walks away.)
Tag: Yknow, Im actually glad Phoebe called. (He pulls out a stool and Rachel sits down.) I know we broke up because you thought I wasnt mature enough, but Ive really grown up and think we should get back together.
Tag: Im ready for more.
Rachel: Im having a baby.
Monica: (throwing up the last present) I dont know how any of these got opened?!
Monica: I know! I know! I am a terrible person! I mean, Chandler is never going to trust me with anything ever again!
Joey: Well, I dont know. I think it does something to salami.
Joey: I do Rach. I do, and I so happy for you. (They hug.)
Rachel: No, I will. Im just not up for it tonight.
Joey: Hey Rach listen, no matter what this guy says I want you to know youre not gonna be alone in this.
Rachel: Im not?
Joey: Listen I uh (He takes her hand.) Its a scary world out there especially if youre a single mom. Yknow, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Yknow? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me?
Rachel: No! Joey, oh youre so sweet. Youre so-so sweet, honey. But Im not, Im not looking for a husband.
Joey: (heartbroken) I understand.
Rachel: Now, if you will excuse me I am going to go and lie down. (Exits.)
Phoebe: I cant say that didnt hurt. But Ill take you back Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Uh yeah. Pheebs, listen about that. I only offered
Monica: Yeah! Oh and interesting because I found the cameras in one of our bags! (Throws them into his chest.)
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Chandler: Okay. (Sees the living room.) You opened all the presents without me?! I thought we were supposed to do that together!
Ross: Well, Im gonna go get these (the floral bouquet he walked in with) in some water.
Ross: No-no, I took them from the hotel lobby. Yeah, they think they can charge me for some dirty movie and a bag of Mashuga nuts, they got another think coming. (Starts to leave.) Hey! My sweater! Ive been looking for this for like a month!
Ross: (shows Tag his sweater tag) Umm, I dont some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later.
Chandler: My boss said I might be getting a new lamp in my cubicle. (Monica looks at him and can't really place what he just said)
MRS. GREENE: ...I may have only been in therapy for three weeks now dear but...
Monica: All right Rachel, you sweep behind, Ill pitch it to you, you throw it down field to Phoebe. All right. Break.
Ross: (sits down next to her) I'm sorry, I was an idiot.
Ross: Oh, just this woman that I met last night at the party.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]
Ross: Honey, I love you too.
Monica: Six? I just had it for one night. Its three.
Girl: Im not gonna tell you! Youre the bad man who broke Sarahs leg.
Monica: I cant answer that! Chandlers my husband.
Richard: (standing behind her, without his moustache) I can help with that.
Richard: I missed this.
Monica: Absolutely! Yes, you say to him "I'm sorry Mike I can't live without her, she means too much to me!"
Monica: No, I just I think that its too soon.
Ross: No thanks. Im 29.
Chandler: (To Ross) Okay, you get her in here. (To Joey) You bolt the door. Ill be in the closet.
Ross: I-I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven passing away and Im so sorry for your loss.
Rachel: I know. Im sorry. Look, Ill make a deal with you all right? Okay?
Ross: Well, Im just saying, I mean why else would he just, y'know, swoop in out of nowhere for no reason.
Monica: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!
Monica: Yeah well, I ran into Richard.
Ross: Now, if you need to stay late, I want to be supportive of that.
Rachel: I will wake you up in a way thats proved very popular in the past.
Phoebe: Im going to let him.
Monica: Well, I was having a conversation.
Rachel: Hes got this thing. And I keep telling him to go to my chiropractor...
Joey: Oh, I was reading it last night, and I got scared, so.
Joey: I discovered Im able to count all of my teeth using just my tongue.
Rachel: God, Im not lame, okay. I can do something. I can throw, would you let me throw, come on this is my game too.
Rachel: Okay. (Starts to go.) God yknow, if someone told me a week ago that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbianis apartment
Joey: Well, safer. Y'know, I mean I never start reading The Shining, without making sure weve got plenty of room in the freezer, y'know.
Joey: (entering, limping, and holding his arm) I dont like this anymore. (He sits down with them in pain.)
Joey: How little are they? I mean, are they like scary little?
Chandler: (standing up) Im up! Im up, Ive gotten up now! Anybody ah, want anything?
Chandler: I wasnt sure which one Mary-Angela was. (all of Joeys sisters gasp) Look, Im sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar.
Phoebe: Ill have coffee.
Chandler: Well, thats the part where you tell him that I moved to France. When actually Ill be in Cuba.
Ross: Well, I suppose we just try to not look directly at it.
Phoebe: I know no, no, y'know you dont deserve this, you dont Ross. Youre, youre really, youre so good. (kisses him on the cheek)
Rachel: Okay, I need a, I need a drink! (Makes a beeline for the mini-bar.)
Richard: Ill just throw them out.
Tim: I I-I dont know, but I would say its pretty good-o. (Phoebe laughs too hard.)
PHOEBE: I know, I know, and I was gonna get it but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles?
Ross: Yeah. (sees the bill) Op! Uh-oh! I think your Dad mustve added wrong. He only tipped like four percent.
Robert: Oh, no thanks. I always carry one in my sock.
Rachel: Yes I did! And I put a little Post-It on it that said, "Must go out today," and underlined today three times and, and then I put a little heart in the corner because I didnt want to seem to bossy.
Joey: (entering, interrupting Rachel) Hey! I got great news!
Woman: Youre no Brown Bird, I can see you through my peephole.
Monica: Ill call you back. (starts kissing him)
Rachel: Yeah! Y'know, ever since I ran out on Barry at the wedding, I have wondered whether I made the right choice. And now I know.
Phoebe: What am I supposed to do? Ask every guy I make out with if hes married? (Rachel looks at her.) No, yeah, I should.
Ross: Hey, I don't know what to tell you guys that's the doll he chose.
Rachel: I bet youre a Gemini.
Phoebe: Yeah, yknow what I noticed Rachel? He scares easy. Is that the kind of guy youd like to take to a ball? "Hey Sebastian, would you like to dance?" (Imitates him.) "Uhh, okayI gotta go!"
Rachel: Im gonna get back to retraining. (gets up)
Rachel: Joey! I cant believe you just did that!
Chandler: Oh-oh, I'm a duck! I go, "Quack, quack!" Im happy all the time!
Rachel: Because, I wanted to hurt you.
Monica: I love this friend thing!
JOEY: Right, I go-, I got it.
Joey: (to Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe) Did you hear that? I only get one extra ticket to my premiere. So some how I have to pick between you three and Ross.
Rachel: Im sorry, I was just thinking youre day could still pick up.
Ross: Pity food? Y'know what thats okay, all right, I dont need any of you to stay, okay nobody stays.
Phoebe: Please, right now, no, every time I see him its like Is it on the lose? Is it watching me?
Janice: Oh, I wish. Look, honey, you have that report to finish, and I gotta go see my lawyer.
Mrs. Tribbiani: I came to give you this (Gives him a bag of groceries) and this. (Whacks him round the ear)
Phoebe: No, I can spot you from here.
Phoebe: I-I-I-I-I dont know, I dont know what to say.
Phoebe: Umm, I think youre really, really great...
PHOEBE: Yes, I was going to incorporate that. Oh good, here's Monica, she'll have something nice to say.
Ross: Oh, Im actually on my way to tell her right now. Yeah, shes been away all week visiting her parents, but shell be cool. I mean, shes been so supportive. She-she even got the baby a tiny T-shirt that says, Fossils are my friends.
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
Rachel: No. No, no, I'm not ready! How can I be ready? "Hey, Rach! You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute?" Come on, I can't do this!
Joey: And I gotta go sell some Christmas trees.
Rachel: Oooh... you're sweet, I knew uncle Joey would step up. (Turns to face Emma in the the playpen) Look Emma, look who's baaack!
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Richards Date: Yeah, but I didnt get to see it.
Joey: I couldn't. He was saying all these really nice things about me. I didn't want him to get mad and take 'em all back. I'm on a edge on Chandler.
Joey: Well, Im pretty tired from lugging the trees around all day. Hey, Phoebe listen, you got this all wrong. Those trees were born to be Christmas trees, their fulfilling their life purpose, by, by making people happy.
Richard: I know I couldnt. So....
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
PHOEBE: Yeah, I talked to my grandma about the Old Yeller incident, and she told me that my mom used to not show us the ends of sad movies to shield us from the pain and sadness. You know, before she killed herself.
Chandler: I like her.
Chandler: Well, thats pretty much all Im looking for from these people.
Fake Monica: I'm not too bad. Fortunately, blue's my colour. How-how did you know I was here?
Phoebe: When I was you! Y'know what, its all Joeys fault, cause he left his nose open!
Ross: Ah Joey, I don't think you get to pick the cities.
AMGER: I love you Drake.
Julio: Actually I ah, I am a poet.
Chandler: Yeah, like there's any way I could ever do that.
RACHEL: Ok, Ross, try to hear me. Ok, I, hey, I'm not gonna lie to you. Ok, it was good with Paolo.
Phoebe: Okay, well Ill bring them by tomorrow morning. Okay, and uh, by the way, theyre not actually puppies, theyre Frank and Alices triplets. Okay, see ya! (Exits.)
Woman: Someone was in the lady's room, I couldnt wait. I left the lid up for ya though.
Chandler: Ginger. Im talking to Ginger, so....
Joey: Not a problem. And listen, hey! Since you're gonna be here for a while, why don'tI was thinking we uh, put your name on the answering machine.
Rachel: Ive got some bad news.
Joey: Uh-uh, excuse me, I do have to interrupt on Rosss behalf. I-I think the rule applies here yknow, since she has a chance to get on broad back
Ross: Oh, please. Sweetie its hopeless, okay, Im just gonna go. (starts to leave rubbing his neck)
Joey: Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here. (Notices shes wiping her eyes.) Whats the matter?
Joey: Yeah, theres this superintendents dance, the Super Ball. I dont know, and he wants to impress Marge, this lady super that hes a crush on.