words in movies
Rachel: Listen yknow what sir? For the last time, I dont care what the computer says, we did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little!
Joey: No. (Phoebe grabs the receipt and shows it to Joey who gets mad.) I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!
Monica: (depressed) Thats right. Im no longer a bride. Ill never be a bride again. Now, Im just someones wife!
Chandler: And Im the happiest guy in the world! (Monica goes and sits down in a huff.) Oh honey, come on dont be upset. We still have so much to look forward to!
Monica: Thats true! (Happily) I knew I married you for a reason!
Chandler: Ill tell you what, I will go get them developed and you can go home.
Chandler: Okay, well Im gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. (Joey laughs again.) 32 Joe. Youre 32! (Exits)
Monica: Oh thanks. (Reading the bill) Champagne, strawberries Oh my God! I cant believe Chandler ordered porn on our wedding night!
Chandler: The cameras? Remember last night I told you to take them?
Chandler: Yes! Remember? Right before we cut the cake, I went up to you and I said
Ross: Oh-oh yeah, you-you came up to me and asked if I could do you a favor, and my Uncle Murray came up to you and handed you a check. And then you said, "Why do they call it a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?" (Chandler laughs.) Yeah, then you did that.
Ross: Well, Im sure theyre still somewhere here in the hotel. Ill-Ill help you look for them.
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Monica: Good. Okay, Im just gonna wait for Chandler to open the rest of them.
Monica: Whew. Although yknow, this is part of a salt and pepper set. I mean I guess yknow it may just count as a half a present. What do you think?
Phoebe: Well I guess its okay to open one more if its part of a set. Yknow, its probably this one. (Grabs another small one.)
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Rachel: Dont worry I promise that you will only have to be pregnant for a few more hours, cause Im going to tell the father today.
Phoebe: What?! I think hes cute.
Phoebe: Believe me Im trying.
Monica: Wow. Yknow it is so weird. I mean, youre gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea whats gonna happen.
Rachel: Yeah. Uh-huh, I guess it is pretty big news.
Phoebe: Pretty big? Its huge! God, this guy doesnt have a clue! Hes just walking down the street thinking, I had sex with Rachel Green. I rock! then bam! Hes a father and everythings different.
Rachel: Well its only different if he wants it to be. I mean, Im not gonna ask him for anything.
Phoebe: Okay. Then he still has this huge decision to make. Now hes walking around thinking, Do I want to be a dad? and then bam!
Phoebe: I dont. He got he-he-he-hes hit by a bus.
Joey: (warily) Who called here? Did she sound blond? Huh? Did-did-did she have an accent? I gotta make a call! (Starts to leave) I shoulda never walked into that Sunglass Hut!
Phoebe: Yes. Yes I am. Oh my God, Im gonna have a baby! (Joey and Phoebe hug.)
Joey: Well who is this guy?! Huh? Who is he? Cause I will track him down and kick his ass!
Chandler: Yes! And thats why Im under the table. Celebrating.
Ross: Well I checked in the uh, lost and found, I talked to the manager, no-ones turned them.
Chandler: All my energy is going into not asking that question. I cant believe I screwed this up!
Ross: Im sorry man. (Formally dressed people start to enter.) Heres a thought. This is the same ballroom. Theres a band. Theres gonna be plenty of dressed up people.
Ross: No-no-no, Im saying we-we buy more of this (disposable cameras) at the gift shop, throw our tuxes back on, and take a few pictures. All we have to do is make sure not to get anybody elses faces.
Ross: Im just thinking about your new bride at home. Okay? Do-do you really want to start your life together by letting her down?
Ross: Im telling you, this looks exactly like your wedding! Arent these the same flowers?
Chandler: I dont know, Monica picked out the flowers.
Chandler: I was in charge of the cameras! Gift shop?
Rachel: Phoebe the father is not here okay? I havent told him yet and I dont think I can tell him at all now!
Rachel: I dont know, let me think. I was walking down the street thinking, Im gonna tell the father today and then bam!
Rachel: I know, but I was just thinking about how huge this is for me. I didnt even go to how huge this was going to be for the father.
Monica: No! No! I shouldnt have even opened these! I mean IJoey I am out of control!! Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay?
Joey: Oh good, uh youre here. Uh Pheebs? Listen uh sit down. I-I got something I want to say.
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Phoebe: Hell yeah! Ill marry you! (She grabs the ring and puts it on.)
Phoebe: I can and I will! (Kisses him.)
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didnt have a baby in nine months!
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
Joey: (smiles then stops) Now I cant believe it! What? Rachels pregnant? (The girls nod yes.) Whos the father?
Joey: Ohh I wonder if that dude.
Joey: About a month ago this guy spent the night with Rachel, I didnt see who it was but (He walks out and closes the door.)
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God! I know who the father is (She walks into Monica and Chandlers.)
Ross: I heard it. I heard it.
Chandler: Oh yeah. Ill take, Ill take your picture. (He takes the picture with his finger over the lens.)
Phoebe: Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before, so I called the father and asked him to meet you here so you can tell him. Go!
Phoebe: I may play the fool at times, but Im a little more than a pretty blond girl with an ass that wont quit. (She takes the sweater out of her purse.) I believe this belongs to the father of your baby.
Chandler: Why dont you go up on stage. Ill get a picture of you doing the speech.
Ross: Im sorry, I meant a blue LeSabre.
Phoebe: Rachel has something that she wants to tell you and umm, I believe that this is your red sweater.
Phoebe: Oh no. Could I get anyone a coffee or poison? No? Just for me? Okay. (Walks away.)
Tag: Yknow, Im actually glad Phoebe called. (He pulls out a stool and Rachel sits down.) I know we broke up because you thought I wasnt mature enough, but Ive really grown up and think we should get back together.
Tag: Im ready for more.
Rachel: Im having a baby.
Monica: (throwing up the last present) I dont know how any of these got opened?!
Monica: I know! I know! I am a terrible person! I mean, Chandler is never going to trust me with anything ever again!
Joey: Well, I dont know. I think it does something to salami.
Joey: I do Rach. I do, and I so happy for you. (They hug.)
Rachel: No, I will. Im just not up for it tonight.
Joey: Hey Rach listen, no matter what this guy says I want you to know youre not gonna be alone in this.
Rachel: Im not?
Joey: Listen I uh (He takes her hand.) Its a scary world out there especially if youre a single mom. Yknow, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Yknow? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me?
Rachel: No! Joey, oh youre so sweet. Youre so-so sweet, honey. But Im not, Im not looking for a husband.
Joey: (heartbroken) I understand.
Rachel: Now, if you will excuse me I am going to go and lie down. (Exits.)
Phoebe: I cant say that didnt hurt. But Ill take you back Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Uh yeah. Pheebs, listen about that. I only offered
Monica: Yeah! Oh and interesting because I found the cameras in one of our bags! (Throws them into his chest.)
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Chandler: Okay. (Sees the living room.) You opened all the presents without me?! I thought we were supposed to do that together!
Ross: Well, Im gonna go get these (the floral bouquet he walked in with) in some water.
Ross: No-no, I took them from the hotel lobby. Yeah, they think they can charge me for some dirty movie and a bag of Mashuga nuts, they got another think coming. (Starts to leave.) Hey! My sweater! Ive been looking for this for like a month!
Ross: (shows Tag his sweater tag) Umm, I dont some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later.
RACHEL: Uh, I don't know. Why don't you put it right here next to my water?
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
CHANDLER: I will have the uh, Cajun catfish.
Ross: I always knew I was havin a baby, I just never realised the baby was having me.
ROSS: I hear ya.
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
MONICA: I don't know, Chandler. Let's take a look.
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
ROSS: I don't, I don't understand. I mean, you, it's like we can't win with you guys.
Ross: We met at Phoebes birthday party, Im, Im Ross Geller.
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Monica: I think this is so great! I mean, you and Ross! D-did you have any idea?
PHOEBE: What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.
Chandler: Hi, I'm Chandler, and I have no idea who Dorothy is.
MONICA: Do I know you?
Monica: Oh, I guess we could try that, but... it seems so harsh! (to Chandler) Have you ever done that?
Ross: You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. (Joey pats Ross on his back)
CHANDLER: Yeah, I mean, it would be rude to them for us to leave now.
Chandler: Yeah, I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
MONICA: No, I just, I fell down.
PHOEBE: Oh! I can't believe it. I can't believe this. We're just like, sitting at home, trying to guess Joey's fingers, and you guys are out like partying and having fun, and you know, all, "hey, Blowfish, suck on my neck".
JOEY: Thank you. Wait wait wait wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blockin' me. There I am, there I am, there I am, there I am, there I am. . .
ROSS: I, I just never think of money as an issue.
RACHEL: [the shoulders of her dress keep falling off her shoulders] Is my hook unhooked? These things keep falling down, I can't. . .
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
ROSS: I don't know. What's in this pie?
ROSS: Kiwi? Kiwi? I thought it was a key lime pie.
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Chandler: Oh, and Ive got Earth Science, but I'll catch you in Gym.
Girl: I just remembered, I have to do something.
RACHEL: Oh, no no no no. Oh no no no no. I have to do this to her?
CHANDLER: No, I got him.
Man: Really? Ive been dealing with Dr. Wells.
Dr. Franzblau: I'm sorry, I can't tell the baby to wait for them.
JOEY: (to Chandler) What'd I tell you? What'd I tell you?
RACHEL: What? Come on, it's not like I'm asking for this girly clock or anything, which, by the way, I also think is very cool.
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
CAROLINE: I think it's great you guys are doing this.
TERRY: I, I don't know.
Joey: Oh, c'mon, I mean, there's you, then there's Charlie, and it's like... (sighs) What the hell is my problem? OH! (He falls back on the bed)
Shelley: Question. You're not dating anybody, are you, because I met somebody who would be perfect for you.
Ross: I thought, uh... it was a fifty cent limit.
Ross: Look, if I can just do what Emily wants and get her to New York, I'm sure everything will be fine.
Judy: Yes, you’ll be all grown up by then. We’ll be... Well your grandfather and I might not be here.
Mike's dad: (leans in towards Mike) I crushed a pill and put it in her drink... (to his wife) Come on, sweetheart.
Ronni: Oh, where'm I gonna stay, here?
Director: You know what. I think this audition is over. (Joey looks disappointed, but understands.)
Monica: (slams down cards) I hate this game!
MONICA: That's Great. You know we don't need to talk about this now. Really, I mean this is, is so way, way, way, in the future, I'm talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet.
Rachel: Okay sir, um-mm, let see if I got this right. Ah, so this is a half-caf, double tall, easy hazel nut, non-fat, no foam, with whip, extra hot latte, right? (the guy nods) Okay, great. (she starts to walk away and under her breath) You freak.
Chandler: Nothin! This is the nine millionth ring store weve been too and I cant find the perfect ring! (Goes over to another display counter and starts pointing at rings.) Ugly ring! Ugly ring! Ugly ring! (Notices that one of the jewelers is watching him.) Its a beautiful selection. (The jeweler walks away slowly.)
MONICA: No. But I remember people telling me about it.
ROSS: I hope Ben has a little sister.
RACHEL: Well, from me. And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite.
ROSS: No, no, I don't wanna put it off, I just, God I just, I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable, ya know, and now, now I'm actually happy. You know, I mean, really happy. I just, I just don't wanna, I don't wanna mess it up, ya know.
Chandler: Look, Ross, you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lasted longer than a Mento. You, however have had the love of a woman for four years. Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of which she ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it! I don't think that was my point!
Phoebe: (goes and gets some cookies) Well, so, umm, anyway umm, Ive been, Ive been looking for my Father, and umm, have you heard from him, or seen him?
Chandler: I can't believe they are not here! I slave and I slave for what? They've ruined cranberry day!
Mike: No. well look can I think your weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also wanna kiss you.
Joey: You don't seem to understand. See, I was Dr. Drake Remoray.
Ross: She's having lunch with him. She's having lunch with him. And you should of seen the hug she gave him when she got the job. And, and, and, (to Joey) he's really good looking. (Joey gives an enthusiastic thumbs up) What am I gonna do?
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
CHANDLER: I think they get it.
ROSS: Ooh, I, I'm so sick of missing stuff. Ya know, I want him for more than, than a day, I want him for a whole weekend. No listen , I mean, I feel like-
Chandler: I know, me too. Hey! Y'know what if we went away for a whole weekend? Y'know we'd have no interruptions and we could be naked the entire time.
Joey: (to Monica) Can I use your phone? (On phone) Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please.
Monica: I kind of have to don't I? Because of this stupid thing (Points to her wedding ring.)
Ross: Okay look, do-do, you have anything Christmassy? I promised my son, and I really don't want to disappoint him, um, come on, I uh, you gotta have something.
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Monica: Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard its gonna be.
Ross: I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace
PHOE: Really? That's so sweet. I mean, I'm officially offended but, sweet.
PHOE: So, I figured it out.
Chandler: If can invade Poland, there isn't anything I can't do.
Ross: Joey, Im not worried about her! Im worried about my baby! Whoever she dates my baby dates! Now-now where is this (makes the quote-marks sign) actor taking them?
Monica: Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine?
Jamie: I think we have an answer.
Rachel: Hi, Im sorry Im late but I am ready, ready to talk you up! When does Lizs father get here?
JOEY: Maybe he, uhh... drives his car on the other side of the road, if ya know what I mean.
Flight Attendant: May I see your boarding pass?
Chandler: Sleeping with somebody new, anxiety, panic, and Im afraid even more sweating.
ROSS: When, when were you... under me? Rach. Rachel do you, I mean, were you, uh. . . What?
Joey: Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first.
(She sets down her bag and we travel back to slow motion world. She once again whips her hair around in slow motion with the love doctor Barry White singing in the background. And Id also like to take this opportunity to mention that she can also be seen in Starship Troopers and that she was born in Downers Grove, Illinois which just happens to be a few miles from where I live. Anyway Cousin Ross is now staring.)
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
JOEY: I can't find the remote. [Phoebe turns off the TV] Thank you.
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
MONICA: Fortunately, it is me. And, they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much. Anyway, I just ran into Ross and Chandler downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, someplace nice.
RACH: Alright, I got it Ross.
Mrs. Green: Its like youre a cave person. Rachel, you must get a nanny. You dont know how overwhelming this is going to be. I mean when you were a baby I had full time help, I had Mrs. Kay.
Chandler: ...Couldn't enjoy a cup of noodles after that. I mean, is that ridiculous? Can you believe she actually thought that?
RACH: 'Cause I don't need your stupid ship.
RICHARD: That's fine. Well, your other dad and I are gonna go have a romantic evening and I guess I'll just see you kids around.
[Scene: In front of Macys, Phoebe has adorned her bucket with numerous signs. Like "We are not a urinal!" and "I have no Macys info." And other stuff like that. She also has a scowl on her face as she is ringing her bell. A little old lady walks up to make a donation but Phoebe stops her.]
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
Ross: And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um I didnt propose to you.
Rachel: (interrupting him) Hi! Im gal pal Rachel Green, and if you want the dirt, Im the one you come too. This might be Joeys baby (rubbing her stomach), who knows? Im just kiddingSeriously, (leans into the cassette recorder Shelley is using) gal pal Rachel Green.
Monica: Oh, what a great argument, exhaling! All right, y'know what, Ill prove it to you, okay. Ill trade you Joey for Rachel, and Ill still win the game.