words in movies
Monica: I have no idea. But look how much they spent!
Monica: I know. It's just such reckless spending.
Ross: I think when someone steals your credit card, they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind.
Monica: She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me! Look at this, look. She buys tickets for plays that I wanna see. She, she buys clothes from stores that I'm intimidated by the sales people. She spent three hundred dollars on art supplies.
Monica: Yeah, well I might be if I had the supplies! I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't.
Monica: Do I go horseback riding in the park? Do I take classes at the New School?
Monica: This is so unfair! She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.
Joey: No, still too ethnic. My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral.
Joey: Plus, y'know, I think it should be Joe. Y'know, Joey makes me sound like I'm, I dunno, this big. (Waitress looks at him funny) Which I'm not.
Joey: Stalin...Stalin...do I know that name? It sounds familiar.
Joey: Joseph Stalin. I think you'd remember that!
Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.
Monica: This woman's got my life, I should get to see who she is.
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.
Phoebe: This is madness. It's madness, I tell you, for the love of God, Monica, don't do it!! ...Thank you.
Teacher: May I help you?
Phoebe: I think she means (Imitates) 'You dance
Monica: Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare.
Woman: It's okay, it's okay, I'm here, I'm here. Sorry I'm late, okay, here I am. Who's the new tense girl?
Joey: I can't believe it, Ross. This sucks!
Chandler: I don't get it, I mean, you just got him. How can he be an adult already?
Ross: I know. I know. I mean, one day, he's this little thing, and before you know it, he's this little thing I can't get off my leg.
Chandler: I know that one! ...No, that's Popes into a Volkswagen.
Chandler: Yeah, but that's like two blocks away from the beach. I mean, it's a total party zoo.
Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit.
Phoebe: Popes in a Volkswagen! ...I love that joke.
Monica: ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!
Rachel: Go Monana! Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. (Exits)
Monica: Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
Monica: Right. Till I bought a blow dryer, then I was shunned.
Fake Monica: I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society?
Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Monica: Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire.
Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
Chandler: Y'know, you'd think I would've.
Ross: Well I, I don't know. Why?
Dr. Baldhara: You're making a big mistake here. I mean, San Diego's all well and good, but if you give him to me, I'll start him off against a blind rabbit and give you twenty percent of the gains.
Monica: Monica and I just crashed an embassy party.
Monica: Noooo! (Comes closer and whispers) I'm lying. I am so drunk.
Rachel: Oh God, oh. Great, Monica, y'know what, you could've called, I have been up here, I've been worried...
Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!
Fake Monica: I'm not too bad. Fortunately, blue's my colour. How-how did you know I was here?
Fake Monica: That I was not expecting.
Monica: I want you to know, it wasn't me who turned you in.
Monica: No, thank you! You have given me so much! I mean, if it wasn't for you, I would never have gotten to sing Memories on the stage at the Wintergarden Theater!
Monica: I just can't believe you're in here. I mean, what am I gonna do without you? Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me? Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus?
Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus?
Fake Monica: Yes necessarily! I mean, I dunno what it is, maybe it's the Amish thing.
Phoebe: Okay. Good-bye, little monkey guy. Alright, I wrote you this poem. Okay, but don't eat it 'till you get on the plane.
Chandler: Okay, bye, champ. Now, I know there's gonna be a lot of babes in San Diego, but remember, there's also a lot to learn.
Joey: I dunno what to say, Ross. Uh, it's a monkey.
Ross: Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. (He sits down and Marcel jumps down and sits beside him) Well buddy, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- (Marcel climbs down and starts humping his leg) Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him.
Actor: (Very melodramatically, and very badly) Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might... touch thy cheek...
Phoebe: What's the matter with me? How do I keep ruining this? I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
Phoebe: Yeah. I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know!! Oh, you should take her!
Chandler: Joe, I told you, you're just not right for the part.
Monica: Damn it, I did not think this through!
Chandler (to Rachel): What am I gonna do now?
Ross: Well, I... I am having a good hair day.
Benjamin: I'm sorry. I just haven't seen her for so long! All these feelings are rushing back! I'm starting to realize how much I missed her, and I'm gonna need you to break up with her.
Monica: I don't want her to get a boob job! That's crazy!
Benjamin: (to Ross) Thank you! (to Charlie). I can't believe that you chose this restaurant! Do you remember the night?
Benjamin: Well, yes, and now. Yes I did say it, and no, I didn't not say it.
Phoebe: Oh! Since tomorrow. I met this really cute guy in the park and he like y'know, jogs, and blades, and swims, and so y'know we made a deal thats hes going to teach me all sorts of jock stuff.
Monica: But I want to.
Rachel: But I don't want you to.
Phoebe: Oh, I didn't know you wanted her too!
Rachel: Well, I mean, sure, of course. But... you already gave that to Monica, so...
MNCA: Oh no no, this is not for him, this is for me. That way he's still sober but I find his stories about shoelaces much more amusing.
Rachel: But I insist harder!
Monica: But I insist!
Rachel: No, I couldn't let you do that.
Ross: Ok well, I would like to do a dig in the painted desert.
Monica: You know, I would give her up, for you.
Chandler: I'm not lying to you, I watched it!
Phoebe: How - how do I get them to name the next one after me?
Passenger: You say you love this man, yet youre about to ruin the happiest day of his life. Im afraid I have to agree with you friend Pheebs.. This is a..this is a...terrible, terrible plan.
Rachel: Look, Charlie, I just want you to know. Ross is just having a little trouble adjusting to the thought of Joey and me. You know, he normally doesn't drink like this.
Chandler: (now yelling) (pretending to look shocked) I did!
Rachel: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally(opens envelope)not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.
Chandler: All my energy is going into not asking that question. I cant believe I screwed this up!
Ross: (Rolls his eyes) I guess!
Ross: Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me.
Rachel: Gavin, I just wanted to say thank you again for watching Emma yesterday during the presentation. I really owe you an appology.
Chandler: What did I just say?
Benjamin: Yeah, I just made it up. Spell it.
Chandler: Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape?
Chandler: You look beautiful mom. (His dad clears his throat.) You look beautiful too dad. I love you both. (He kisses his dad on the cheek) Im so glad you here. (He kisses his mom.)
Rachel: Well, I did my best to convince him that Im not some crazy girl who is dying to get marriedIm just going through a hard time.
Monica: (offended) I like that poster!
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Chandler: (to Heaven) No no no... I mean, why? why is she here??
Ross: I have to break up with Charlie?
Rachel: Yes, I know that. I know that. And I know that hiring him was probably not the smartest thing that Ive ever done. But Im telling you, from this moment on I swear this is strictly professional. (Theres a knock on the door.) Yes?
Monica: Hey! I sold that to Joey.
Chandler: I gotta check out this hot girl! (He heads to the window but realizes something, stops, turns and points at Monica.) There she is! (He dances over to her and kisses her.)
Joey: I got it from Monica. She sold it to me for a very reasonable price.
Rachel: Yes I can! (pushes her back again)
Rachel: I want Gladys!
Chandler: I know. You're right. What's it gonna take for you to forgive me?
Phoebe: I knew it!
Chandler (nearly weeping): I was not ready for this today!
Ross: Yeah. He wouldn't give me the grant, because I wouldn't give you up.
Benjamin: Like I tried to tell you in the interview Ross, this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia.
Rachel: Yeah but, my assistant Tag does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Ohh! I could just spread him on a cracker.
Chandler: Yeah, I miss that too. I tell you what; from now on well make time to hang out with each other.
Ross: No, no, no. Don't do that! I want you to look her in the eyes, and tell her the truth.
Charlie: I can't believe this.
Benjamin: Alright, it's true. I behaved horribly. But it's only because I still love you. And I would do anything to have you back in my life.
Benjamin: I love you!
Charlie: I love you too! (and they start to kiss)
Benjamin: You're right, I apologize. Scratch the last question. Spell "Boscodictiasaur".
Benjamin: I never should have broken up with you. I think about you all the time. I mean, do you ever still think about me?
Monica: Well, Im never gonna listen to you again, thats for sure! (Mimicking her.) "Yknow, harm can it do if you go and put your name down?"
Ross: (enters) It's me. Ron. (Mr. Zellner looks annoyed) Look, I um, I now Rachel turned you down but I think there is a way you might be able to get her to come back.
Chandler: Yeah it is really pricey. I mean, I freaked when I first heard the numbers.
Mike: I think it would make me wanna marry you even more. (he kisses her)
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Ross: Okay, I got us a court date for tomorrow at 2:00 and I picked up all the forms. Ill take care of everything.
Monica: (sounds desperate, knowing what Rachel is trying to do) I haven't really settled on a spot yet!
Joey: You may be a sissy but I'll still (pound you out on ground). All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do oneeyebrow and now... they don�t match!
Chandler: It's not gone! I mean, I'm sure you printed out a copy. You have a hard copy, right?
Rachel: (pause) He is, isnt he? I dont know, I dont know, I mean maybe its just being here at the beach together or, I dont know. But its like something... (shes interrupted by the sound of Bonnie entering)
Joey: (going out with the VCR in his hand) Well, I guess we'll never know whose it is!
Charity guy: May I help you?
Rachel: Oh no, I'm good, I don't wanna get that turkey smell all over my hands.
Phoebe: Sure, I so glad we did this. It feels so good!
Rachel: Oh hey Ross... Listen, I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.
Charity guy: Oh, actually, that's the shirt I wore to the gym.
Ross: Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground!
Rachel: Ok, look, Ross. I do not want Emma going to the playground.
Ross: Like I said I was thinking of taking Emma to the museum of knives and fire!
Ross: (sarcastic) And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!
Gavin: It's OK. I know it's probably not my place but can I give you a piece of advice?
Monica: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!
Monica: You are so handsome! I wanna make love to you right here, right now! (Growls and pulls him into a kiss.)
Chandler: I don’t think you can do that!
Phoebe: Well, I’ll just ask for it back!
Ross: I promise you she’s safe! No watch how much she loves this.
Ross: See, I told you!
Mike (to the charity guy): Oh my God, I love your shirt!
Phoebe: I am sorry. I am, but this wedding is just really important to me.
Ross: Im sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but Ilook, I just want you guys to be safe. (Monica comes out to throw out the garbage and Ross screams ) DANGER!!!!! (She completely ignores him and keeps walking.) Ahhh, huh? Unagi.
Ross: I want you to tell her everything. About the deal you tried to make with me, about the crazy questions you... Wally Cox! That's the voice of Underdog!
Ross: Hi! Yeah! Tommys in line for the bathroom and someone just cut in front of him, I think hes gonna snap. (Hes watching very intently)
Monica: Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.
Laura: I just realized why I remember this place.
Part I Written by: Greg Malins Part II Written by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman Parts I & II Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
Monica: I don't know. I mean, you saw him do a love scene, so maybe you don't have a thing for Joey, maybe you have a thing for Drake.
Rachel: Well when I talk to her I almost feel like she understands what I'm saying.
Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... (someone knocks on the door)
Sandy: No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future.