words in movies
Ross: Hey you guys I got some bad news. (He sets the stack of papers down on the table.)
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Joey: Man, this is bad! And Ive had my share of bad reviews. I still remember my first good one though. (Quoting) "Everything else in this production of Our Town was simply terrible. Joey Tribbiani was abysmal."
Chandler: Im so sorry.
Monica: Im so humiliated!
Rachel: I didnt write it.
Monica: Is he right? Am I reallyAm I awful?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
Rachel: I am freaking out!
Ross: Okay look, I had a lot of water before I went to bed. Can we do this after
Rachel: Im serious.
Ross: (interrupting her) Okay. Okay. If uh, if youre gonna do this, then Im gonna do that. (Points to the bathroom.) So (Starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh, wait Ross! Im sorry, one more thing!
Rachel: Umm, our situation. Yknow umm, what we mean to each other. And I mean we-were having this baby together, and we live together. Isnt that, isnt that weird?
Rachel: Im just kidding! You can go pee! (He does so in a hurry.)
Joey: (entering) Hey uh Monica, I cant remember. Did we say we were gonna meet here or at the movies?
Joey: Okay, Ill see you there. (Starts to leave)
Joey: Sure, I can hang out til I have to meet ya. (To Chandler) What uhHow come youre not going?
Chandler: I have a job interview I have to get ready for.
Joey: I thought you already have a job.
Chandler: Thats what I do now.
Monica: Remember that guy that gave me a bad review? Well (Feeds him a spoonful of what shes cooking.) Im getting my revenge!
Monica: No. He teaches a course on food criticism at the New School, so before we go to the movies I wanna go by there and make him try my bouillabaisse again. Oh, I cannot wait to read the front page of the Post tomorrow! "Restaurant reviewer admits: I was wrong about Monica."
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Cashier: I notice you picked out a lot of our dinosaur items.
Ross: I chose those, Im a paleontologist.
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
Cashier: Oh no-no, Im fascinated by paleontology. Have you read the new Walter Alvarez book?
Rachel: Oh my God! Im standing at a cash register, holding a credit card, and Im bored.
Cashier: (looking at the completed address card) Oh, I love your neighborhood. Theres a great gym right around the corner from your building.
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
Ross: I am like Indiana Jones.
Rachel: No! Im not! I-I-I just think its wrong! Its-its that ImHere I am about to pop and hes out picking up some shop girl at Sluts R Us!
Chandler: Well, I got a job interview. Its kinda a big deal too. Its a lot more money and Id be doing data reconfiguration and statistical factoring.
Phoebe: Wait, I think I know someone who does that.
Chandler: Me! I do that. So Seriously, do I look okay? Im little nervous.
Phoebe: Yes, when I first met you, you were like, "Blah, blah, blah." I was like, shhh!
Chandler: What is it that I do?
Rachel: Chandler, Im not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
Monica: Hi! Umm, Im Monica Geller, Im the chef at Alessandros.
Monica: I think the things that you said about me are really unfair, and I would like for you to give my bouillabaisse another chance.
The Food Critic: I dont see any reason why I would do that to myself again.
The Food Critic: Im torn, between my integrity and my desire to avoid a beating. But I must be honest, your soap is abysmal. (Throws down the spoon and walks out.)
Monica: I can.
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
Katie: Oh uh I actually came here to ask you out.
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Katie: Oh umm, actually I umm
Rachel: Oh okay, I see what youre doing there.
Chandler: I cant even believe this! I really come off that badly?
Chandler: Oh good. Good, because Im sure this interview is gonna last a couple of weeks.
Phoebe: I cant help you.
Phoebe: All right, all right, well just do our best. Okay? So lets say Im the interviewer and Im meeting you for the first time. Okay. "Hi! Come on in, Im uh, Regina Philange."
Chandler: Well you should meet my uncle, Bada. (Pause) Ill let myself out.
Monica: Oh no! I dont know anything about cooking. I had to ask someone what its called when the, when the water makes those little bubbles.
Monica: I-I-Im sorry, your-your mouth was full, I didnt hear what you said. Umm, hats off to who now?
Chandler: I think youll find if I come to work here, I dont micro-manage. I dont shy away from delegating.
Chandler: (suppressing a smile) What I do do is manage to uh, create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me.
Phoebe: I see. Nice sidestep on the do do thing by the way.
Chandler: Hardest thing Ive ever done in my life.
Monica: Wow! A star! (The class glares at her.) I know you all hate me and-and Im sorry, but I dont care.
Joey: I can an A? In-in school? (To Joey) Hey, Im a dork.
Monica: Joey! Im so proud of you!
The Cooking Teacher: I think you should give him your star.
Monica: I do! Im a professional chef! (The class gasps.) Oh relax! Its not a courtroom drama!
Monica: Im-Im sorry, its just that umm Well I-I cook at this restaurant, Alessandros, and umm I just got a really bad review
The Cooking Teacher: Oh Alessandros! I love that place!
Monica: Oh, Im totally crazy, but you-you like the food?
Monica: Okay then, I dont stink. Im a good chef. Okay. (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! I dont want to go. Im having fun.
Chandler: also I was the point person on my companys transition from the KL-5 to GR-6 system.
Chandler: That I did. That I did.
Chandler: (trying not to laugh) I see.
Chandler: No dont I beg of you!
The Interviewer: All right then, well have a definite answer for you on Monday, but I think I can say with some confidence, youll fit in well here.
Chandler: Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Yknow Ive been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. (The interviewer doesnt understand) Duties. (Still doesnt.) Duties! (Still doesnt.) Poo. (Still doesnt.)
Chandler: Ill look forward to your call. (Walks away.)
Rachel: Im fine, but thats not important. Whats important is how was she?
Rachel: No! No, shesShe was nice. I mean, shes a little slutty, but who isnt?
Ross: I liked her.
Rachel: I dont want you to date her!
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Ross: I wont date. Ill uh, Ill be here, with you, all the time.
Rachel: Really? But Im being so unreasonable.
Rachel: No, not really. Youre pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. (She gets up and starts for the bathroom.)
Ross: We live together. Youre having our baby. Im not gonna see anybody else. Are you-are you sure you dont want something more?
Rachel: (pause) Wow! I dont know, maybe. Im
Ross: Oh-oh, Rach! I was just messin around! (Shes stunned) Like you did last night when I had to pee?
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
Rachel: No thats just(Laughs)Thats just cause Im such a good messer!
Joey: Well I had a great time! Learned how to bake, ate great food, thats the first A Ive gotten since seventh grade, and I didnt have to sleep with the teacher this time.
Monica: (to Phoebe) Oh my God! Did you hear that? She hired me because she thinks Im good.
Ross: I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make this kind of a decision? (They're all quiet.) I'm actually asking you!
Caitlin: I just, I thought Joey was there.
Rachel: Well, I don't get it, but she wanted me to give you her phone number. (Hands him the slip of paper with the phone number on it.)
Dr. Ledbetter: I must say it's nice to see you back on your feet.
ROSS: Oh, I believe I had the half-drunk cappuccino with the lipstick on the rim.
Ross: Well that I can believe.
Rachel: I-I-I didn't! I didn't! She thought you were cute.
Joey: Pizza, heh, its not like I never had that before...ba dum bum cheshhh.
Chandler: Why am I looking?
Joey: Oh, here I am, here's my big scene!
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! Its been a long time since I had (tries to do the math in his head, but cant) 327 + 238 dollars!"
Joey: (whining and heading toward the door) Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I...
Phoebe: I am definitely gonna watch that!
ROSS: I am really not going. I don't get it. They already live together, why do they need to get married?
Ross: What am I looking at?
Joey: I want to go on a ride along!
Ross: Oh God, thank you! (Runs and gives all of them a group hug.) Umm, uh, Mr. Stevens Id like you to meet my friends uh, this is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
Rachel: Ohh, it's me and La Poo! Wow! I miss that dog.
Ross: Look, were just friends now! Okay? Why would I do anything stupid?
Phoebe: Yeah, you are, Monica. Remember when I lived with you? You were like, a little, y'know, (psycho) Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree!
Monica: What?! I-I-I don't, I don't do that!
Ross: Emily is incredible. I mean there-there are no words to describe it, I mean the whole weekend was like a dream. (Sees Rachel coming back from the bathroom.) Oh! And you! Rach!
The Smoking Woman: I am not going to apologize to a tree!
Joey: Did I say you could smell it?!
Phoebe: But I already gave them back to you!
Chandler: I can't smell your sandwich?
Rachel: Ross! We broke up two years ago; you've been married since then. I think it's okay that we see other people.
Janice: Hi! Hi sweetheart! This is my husband Sid, I dont think youve met him. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid. I nabbed him a year ago at the dermatologists office. Thank God for adult acne huh? (Does the laugh.)
Ross: (Pause) Of course I am! (Joey is relieved) Okay, let's go godfather.
Rachel: (does Monica's) I know!
Rachel: I don't think he's the one who needs help.
Phoebe: Bye Chandler! (She walks up to him.) (Quietly.) I miss you already. (She pinches his butt.)
Monica: All right, he's keys are in the drawer. Y'know what? I also need some cash.
Ross: I will be! Listen, I dont want you teaching my son that stuff anymore. Okay?
Rachel: I would love to live with you Ross; thats-thats great! Thank you!
Monica: All right, I guess we should go.
Phoebe: (to Ross) Im telling you, if you want to take care of that thing, you should go to my herbal guy.
Joey: Yeah, I didn't know that.
Joey: In my spare time I uh, read to the blind. And Im also a mento for the kids.(The gang shake their heads.) Yknow a mento, a role model. (Chandler bites his fist to keep from talking.)
Rachel: (returning from calling Warren) Ugh!!! Well, the apartment is already subletted! I mean, this is just hopeless. Im never gonna find anything.
Ross: Wow! I could've died tonight.
Monica: Oh please! Dad turned my room into a gym 20 minutes after I moved out! I gotta say, a tanning bed and a stack of Victorias Secret catalogues, not a gym!
Monica: I can't believe we've never done this before! It's sooo good! So good for Monica!
Ross: Well, Im-Im just glad I could, yknow, help you out.
Joey: All right, youre probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.
Phoebe: Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?
Joey: Well, no, not exactly! All right, look, I, I wasn't trying to save Ross. Okay? My sandwich was next to Ross. All right? I was, I was trying to save my sandwich.
Rachel: Whatever Linus, Im opening mine.
Will: Nope. Uh, its okay. Its just uh, God I hated her.
Joey: I know it doesn't make much sense
Joey: Well, before, with the wishbone... I didn't wish we would win the lottery, I wished you'd get the job.
Chandler: I thought you were showing me how much you mean to me.
Guy: (he reaches into the car and slams his siren on the roof.) So am I!
Rachel: No, theres nothing to make up, shes gonna know that I have a key to her office, Ive got to get you locked up back the way you were! (She tries to drag him over to the chair, but Chandler stops her.)
Chandler: Y'know what else I can't believe? I had to kiss Phoebe and Rachel every time I left a room, I mean it's too bad they didn't see us having sex.
Chandler: Where I dont want to have a relationship ever! I just want to have sex with strippers and my friends!!
Chandler: And what does she have to think about? I love her!
Ross: Oh dude, don't worry about it, I found an unattended maid's car. We're way ahead of the game.
Phoebe: Oh, I was telling them about you and Emily. Y'know, try to get some sympathy.
Phoebe: For 99 cents, I'd eat you. (Sees the casino) Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! (Points to Joey in his gladiator suit posing for a picture with two old ladies.) Oh! Look! Hi!
Rachel: Now, that-that was a good thing that I told you, right?
Ross: Right. I guess, I guess I should call Emily.
Chandler: No, but waitwhat if I bought it from you, yknow? And your nice gesture would be giving it to me at a reasonable price, say (Gets choked up) $1,500?
Phoebe: I have to tell you this story. Okay, I was coming over here and this driver
RACH: I didn't know then. And how come you never said anything to me.
Ross: Look, I am a reasonable man. I will accept store credit.
Ross: I know where Joey would be. He would be down in the foxhole protecting all of us.
Ross: Yeah, I want my money back.
Ross: Hero, I uh, I dont knowwell, all right.
Phoebe: Umm, well I sorta have some bad news, can I come in?
Minister: I think wed better start again. Ross, repeat after me. I, Ross
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Joey: That part was perfect for me! I can't believe I didn't get it!
Monica: You don't know everything. Did you know that I'm going out with Rachel tonight instead of you? Hmm? And did you know that the only baby around here is you?! And did you know that I can't even look at you right now?! (She storms out.)
Phoebe: I can't believe this!
Phoebe: (to the nurse) Excuse me? Could you help me with something? The patient Im looking for has a broken leg and is in a wheelchair. And umm, hes like early to mid-thirties, very attractive.
Parker: That sounds great. (Sits down) My God this is the most comfortable couch Ive ever sat on in my entire life. (Bounces on couch)
Chandler: All right, well Im gonna put my sweats back on.
Rachel: Well, I have a job interview at Ralph Lauren tomorrow!
Joey: Ohhh. I thought it was like Long Island.
Joey: Come on, you guys are more then that! I mean, youre gonna get together right?
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
Rachel: Noo! I wish! Okay, you ready?
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Gavin: You hear a key in the hole and you jump like a young bronco coming out of a chute for the first time. I used to be arodeo clown.
Ross: Yes! Yes! I mean it's-it's kinda far from work, but uh, y'know, I'll get so much done on the commute. I-I've been given the gift of time!
Rachel: (spinning the bottle) So, Spin the Bottle works like this: I spin the bottle, it lands on Gunther, so I would have to kiss Gunther. (She crawls over to where Gunther is sitting and sees the look of anticipation on Gunthers face and decides not to kiss him.) All right. Who wants to go first?
Erica: Yeah, I read some great applications, but then I thought “who better then a minister to raise a child!”
Joey: Man, I didn't think we were gonna make it!
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Chandler: No, I know, but it's just so hard, you know? I mean, you're sitting there with her, she has no idea what's happening, and then you finally get up the courage to do it, and there's the horrible awkward moment when you've handed her the note.
Joey: I have to pee. And Rachel's in the bathroom!
Joey: Look, its not about her. Okay? But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did. And I dont want to live with some one who doesnt know what it is to be a friend. So, Ill see ya. (He starts to leave, but Chandler grabs his bag and stops him.)
Gary: No, I mean happy.
Chandler: Yeah, I think I do! Y'know what? You move in with her! You move in with her right now! Maybe I should in with Monica!
Gary: I know! I can't wait!
Rachel: Ross-Ross, you have no idea what this means to me! I mean, I mean I was gonna be homeless. You just saved me! Youre my hero!
Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.