words in movies
Monica: It's so weird, how did Joey end up kissing Charlie last night? I thought you'd end up kissing Charlie.
Ross: Hey, I thought I'd end up kissing Charlie too ok? But SURPRISE!
Chandler: I missed most of the party (pause) Charlie's a girl, right?
Ross: Yes, she is this new professor of my department that I did not kiss.
Rachel: I don't know why Joey had to kiss her! I mean, of all the girls at the party, GOD!
Rachel: (worried) Be-cause Ross is the father of my child! You know... and I... want him to hook up with lots of women! (pause) I just... All I'm saying is... I don't think that Joey and Charlie have anything in common.
Ross: Oh, I don't know, they seem to have a shared interest in each other's tonsils...
Rachel: All right, so... Ross, you're ok with all this? I mean...
Ross: Yeah, it's no big deal. I mean, I just met her and I'm fine with it...
Ross: Oh, God. I forgot how hot she was!
Charlie: (talking to Ross) I feel like I owe you an explanation. I don't ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties. I'm... well, I'm kind of embarrassed. I really hope you don't think less of me.
Ross: Uhm no! Think less of you! No, I don't think less of you. I mean, you saw someone you liked and you kissed them. I mean, those people who like someone and don't kiss them... those-those people are stupid, I hate those people.
Charlie: You know, actually I'm a little surprised to myself. I mean, Joey is so different from the guys I usually date. I mean, they're all professors, and intellectuals, and paleontologists mostly, you know, very cerebral...
Ross: Yeah, I know the type.
Joey: Hey, if you wanna grab a bite before work we'd better get acrimonious. No? Am I getting close?
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Look what I just got. (she shows them a pair of slippers)
Rachel: Oh, OH! Wow, I love those! Where did you get them?
Phoebe: I bought them off Ebay! They used to belong to the late Shania Twain.
Phoebe: Oh... then I overpaid. (she goes to the bathroom)
Rachel: Ah, why, now I can't get a massage? There are so many things that she disapproves of! I can't eat veal, I can't wear fur, I can't go hunting...
Rachel: Well, I would like to have the option!!
Phoebe: No, you can't go there! You know how I feel about these "big massage places"! They're putting people like me out of business!
Rachel: Phoebe, come on, I don't wanna waste it! It would be like throwing away a hundred bucks!
Rachel: I don't care about any of that!!
Phoebe: I feel really strongly about this, Rachel. Please, don't use this gift certificate. I'm asking you as a friend.
Rachel: Oh, not as a friend, Phoebe!! Fine, I won't use it!
Rachel: I promise.
Rachel: But I am going hunting!!
Monica: (entering) Hey honey! I missed you today!
Monica: Honey, we've been trying to have a baby for over a year. I think it's a good idea to find out if everything's ok. Just a few routine tests.
Chandler: But I don't wanna do it in a cup!
Chandler: (embarrassed) I cannot believe Ross told you that! (pause) And in my defense, it was a Wendy's!
Monica: Look, I don't wanna do this test either, but I really do think it's a good idea!
Joey: Can I offer you a drink?
Charlie: Please, I've been crazed all day! I had a meeting with the Dean, and my syllabus for summer school is due and I'm writing the Foreword for a friend's book...
Joey: Uh-oh. I hade a pretty hectic day at work too, today I had to open a door and go (looking scared) ohhhh!
Charlie: So I am just so excited to be here. And I can't wait to start exploring the city!
Joey: I know, yeah!
Charlie: And first, I have to see the MET!
Joey: (looking puzzled) I don't think so.
Receptionist: (in an affected tone) Hello, welcome to Lavender Day Spa SPA. How may I help you?
Rachel: Oh, hi. I have a massage appointment under Rachel Green, and here is my gift certificate.
Phoebe: But that woman can't know I work here. She's a friend of mine and I made this big stink about how awful this massage chains are.
Receptionist: Well, I think this is a great place to work!
Joey: I need to talk to you about Charlie.
Joey: Yes. It's just that she's so much smarter than all the girls I've ever dated! Combined! I don't want her to think I'm stupid!
Joey: Right, right, right, well, she wants to go to all this cultural places and I don't know how to talk about that stuff. You gotta help me out!
Ross: You know, I really don't want to get involved in you guy's relationship.
Joey: Please, c'mon, you're the smartest person I know and I really like this girl, ok, I don't wanna lose her.
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! So, I walk in the door and make the right (and he bends his arm to the left. Ross then bends Joey's arm to the right and Joey nods)
Chandler: I have a weird feeling about this place. (pause) How do I know that they are not gonna secretly videotape me and put it all over the internet.
Monica: Because, honey, I mean this in the sweetest way possible, nobody is gonna wanna watch that.
Chandler: Deposit my specimen? You know, usually I have to call a 900 number for that kind of talk. Thanks, got it.
Chandler: Yeah, I guess!
Monica: I know this is embarrassing, but nobody cares! No one here even knows you!
Janice: Well, Sid and I are trying again and we had trouble last time because apparently we...
Chandler: (to Heaven) No no no... I mean, why? why is she here??
Chandler: I'd love to stay, but I have eh... (points at the cup) got a hot date... (starts to leave)
Chandler: (disgusted) I think it just fell off. (Leaves)
Rachel: You know I... (lifts her head and tries to look in Phoebe's direction)
Rachel: (Sees Phoebe's slippers through the hole) Wow... I really love your... (startled as she realizes those are Phoebe's slippers)
Rachel: Damn! I wish I knew if that was right!
Ross: Ok now, remember, when you get to the museum, Monet is not spelt M-O-N-A-Y. I just... I wrote that out phonetically for you.
Ross: Ok, but you know what? I gotta say, I'm really impressed that you were able to memorize all this so quickly!
Joey: Ah! I'm an actor! I can memorize anything! Last week on "Days" I had to say "Frontal temporal zygomatic craniotomy".
Joey: No idea! But the guy I said it to dies in the next scene so I guess it means "you're gonna get eaten by a bear".
Chandler: (To the nurse at the nurses' station) My specimen is in the room and I just want to thank whoever knocked on the door while I was in there. Really helped speed the process along! (walks towards the common area and sees Janice is still there) Janice! You're not... gone?
Janice: Oh! Sid is still in his room. I don't allow porn at home so this is like a vacation for him. So did you do it? Did you make your deposit?
Janice: That's not the hard part honey! The hard part is what comes next, I mean aren't you worried about the results?
Chandler: I haven't... I haven't even thought about the results yet... I just assumed that everything was gonna be ok.
Janice: Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine.
Chandler: (smiling again) oh, oh, yeah, ok, thanks. I can't believe I didn't even think of that. I guess I was just so worried about having to... come here and do... 'that'...
Rachel: Wow, Ikea... what a rich culture. Uhm, you know what? I have a friend who is a masseuse.
Rachel: I don't know... maybe it's because she has got such callousy fingers from playing crummy guitar...
Phoebe: I don't have to tell you everything!
Phoebe: Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes!
Rachel: Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much, you should walk out there right now and quit! Be true to what you believe in! Honey, you have principles and I so admire that! I don't have any!
Phoebe: You know what? You are right. I am gonna quit. It's time I took my life back!
Phoebe: Okay (walks out and closes the door behind her, looks up and whispers) If you guys have microphones in there too, I didn't mean any of that. I love you.
Ross: (shaking head) Oh Joey, Joey! But still, I mean, it seems like you guys are having a great time together.
Ross: What, I mean, a little, but no, what, go on.
Charlie: Well... I'm just thinking that maybe he's not the right guy to be with right now, maybe I should be with someone... I have more in common with. You know what I mean?
Ross: (slowly) Yeah. But you know what? I think you should give Joey a chance. I mean, he's a great guy, and sure he doesn't know that much about art but you know, you can always talk about that with someone else.
Charlie: Yeah, I guess that's true.
Ross: And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, that's the kind of guy Joey is.
Ross: Glad I could help man.
Joey: Although some of that stuff wasn't where you said it was gonna be, but... (confidently) I made it work.
Chandler: Hello? Oh hi, Doctor Connelly. (pause) No, she's not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this? (his smile fades as he hears the answer) Oh. (pause) Well, so what does that mean? (pause) Ok. Ok, thank you. Thanks. (hangs up)
Monica: (still weeping) I know.
Monica: Yeah. Im okay. Im actuallyIm a little cold, can I have your jacket?
Chandler: Love her! That's right, I LOVE HER!!! I love her!! (They walk together and hug.) I love you, Monica.
Ross: (continuing) I just found out that Elizabeths dad wants to meet me.
Chandler: Okay umm, before I meant you I had really little life and I couldnt imagine growing old with
MONICA: Doctor, can I see you for just a minute please? My brother has a slight phobia about needles.
Richards Date: Hi, Im Lisa.
Rachel: No, no Phoebe no, I was...no. You know what, I was, I was actually just checking to, see, if I could run. And I can!
Chandler: Yeah, Ill sit down. (He slides back into his chair.)
Joey: Im Joey. (They shake hands.)
Phoebe: Im just helping the kids!
Joey: I dont know! Charity?
Phoebe: Because the more I drink, the less there is for the kids to drink.
Joey: So uh listen, I think Im gonna take off now. (Starts to get up.)
Chandler: That's not what I had in mind! See, people like Ross don't generally wear these types of pants. You see, they're very tight. (Motions to Ross's buttock.) Maybe there's something in that area.
Phoebe: (interrupting) Im not asking!
Rachel: Oh! (Opens the door to reveal a ballerina) Well youre just the prettiest ballerina Ive ever seen.
Monica: So I hide in the shower and the next thing you know theyre going at it right on the bathroom floor.
Phoebe: I know, Im sorry! But yknow, this ring is better! Monica never even saw the other ring.
Ross: (while Rachel is finishing her rant) Okay! Okay! Okay! Its okay. (Rachel stops.) Its okay. Hey, its too weird for you, I wont see her again.
Chandler: (clearly lying and hating the dessert) Yeah, this is so good, that Im gonna go enjoy it on the balcony so that I can enjoy the view whilst I enjoy my dessert.
Monica: I thought you were going out with Elizabeth.
ROSS: I just wanna thank you for being there for me today. And I'm sorry I,I almost broke your hand.
Ross: Yeah, I was but uh, she was a little busy with a water balloon fight.
Monica: Okay well I think thats your answer.
Ross: Ive got to talk to her. Ugh, I hate this part.
Joey: I-I think everybodys pretending they dont hear you. Anyway, look, I dont know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, Im telling you, he will sit in it! (Ross enters and goes over to the white table) Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat.
Dr. Ledbetter: I wonder if its time for you to rejoin our team at the museum?
Mr. Bowmont: I dont think shed like that.
Phoebe: Wow, money and a firm hand. Finally a Chandler I can get on board with.
Mr. Bowmont: I was actually relieved uh I didnt win the boat. My wife wouldve killed me.
Mr. Bowmont: I dont think so dear.
Joey: All that stuff you just said? I want that!
Female Clerk: Can I help you?
Joey: (acting sad) NO! I waited a long time, I can't wait anymore... (and closes the door behind him)
Phoebe: I wanna see whats in your hand. I wanna see the trash.
Chandler: Richard was there so I couldnt do it!
Chandler: This is terrible. What am I going to do?
Chandler: Thats right, I can throw her off. I can make her think marriage is the last thing on my mind.
Ross: Ehh, I was just, I was just thinking about your father.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on can we finish this later? Cause I wanna go running before it gets dark. Oh! Why don't you come with me?!
Ross: Elizabeth, thank God! I was just thinking about
Joey: Well, what am I gonna do Rach?! I dont have that kind of money!
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
Richard: Actually, Im not here to complement the chef.
Richard: No! I came here to tell you something else. (Pause) I came here (Pause) to tell you I still love you.
Paul: Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, Ive decided to accept the fact that youre going out with her.
Monica: Sure, I love this part! (Starts to look busy.)
Joey: Thats ridiculous! Im not a "Star," just a regular famous actor.
Richard: I know this is crazy but am I too late?
Phoebe: I-I mean I, well I think I can figure it out. I guess y'know I was born, and everyone started lying their asses off!
Rachel: No! Im so happy for them!
Dr. Roger: Im sorry sweetie, its the hospital. The food looks great, maybe save me some?
Megan: I know! I almost called off my wedding. Oh, whos your band?!
Joey: Well, hes not used to women being so forward with him; but uh, I good check with himHe says its okay. (She hands him her card.) Great! Thanks! Bye-bye!
Phoebe: I know, theyre gonna be so happy together.
Phoebe: Totally. Im like 90/10.
Chandler: What?! Im Chandler! (She nods towards the doorway, Chandler turns and looks) Oh, thats Richard!
Ross: Look, honey, I have tried to make nice, it doesnt work.
Rachel: Come on, Joey, I did it and it was fine.
Chandler: (to them) Its okay, I got a plan.
Kristen: Oh I, I have plans tonight.
Monica: Yknow what?! I gotta go! Ugh!
Monica: So I wouldn't need any, right? Cause I have a straight.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah I got that.
Elizabeth: For what its worth I did appreciate you standing up for me. It felt really nice. It kinda made me like you even more.
Chandler: Dont take this personally okay? Its just that I just cant have sex with a sick person.
Phoebe: Yeah, I locked him years ago!
Chandler: Joey! (Pause as they all stare at him.) No way. Im not answering that.
Joey: Tell me about it, I feel like Im holding down the fort all by myself.
Monica: I didnt change!
Chandler: Hey, you guys in the living room all know what you want to do. You know, you have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream.
Monica: What does he think? Does he think Im just gonna wait around for nothing?
MONICA: Please, when he left town you stayed in your pajamas for a month and I saw you eat a cheeseburger.
Joey: You got that from what I said?!
Kristen: You look strong, why dont I take that and you grab one of the boxes.
JOEY: I finally get a part on TV and the monkey's makin' movies.
Ross: Ohh, I dont think so.
Ross: I guess so.
Ross: Now, hold on! Hold on! (Stops him) Look, look, your daughter and I are supposed to leave tonight for our honeymoon, now-now you-you tell her that Im gonna be at that airport and I hope that shell be there too! Oh yeah, I said Rachels name, but it didnt mean anything, Okay? Shes-shes just a friend and thats all! (Rachel sits down, depressed.) Thats all! Now just tell Emily that I love her and that I cant imagine spending my life with anyone else. Please, promise me that youll tell her that.
Chandler: Well this is great! Ill give you a call! We should do it again sometime!
Ross: Ohh, yeah I already have one.
Chandler: I called you fat?! I don't even remember that!
Monica: No I dont know Chandler! Not anymore! Its like its like somethings changed.
Joey: I know!
Ross: I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?
Joey: I know! They suck!!
Monica: I dont know.
Monica: I dont know why Im here.
CHANDLER: Ya know I think this is much better than the coffee house.
Ross: No! Pick me! I dont want to end up an old maid!
Ross: I was not!
Ross: Ooh, I wanna switch to Rachel too!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Im talking about massages.
RYAN: Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]
Janice: I just came by to give you a kiss, I have to go pick up the baby, so. I'll see you later sweetheart, you too Chandler. (laughs)
Mike: Well, hey, at least you're getting a proper wedding. I mean, you really deserve that.
Richard: I think thats fair.
Phoebe: Oh hey, Monica, I heard you saw Donald Trump at your convention.
Richard: I know. (Backs away.)
A Woman: What is taking so long?! I mean whatever!