words in movies
Phoebe: (angrily) Thats like the tenth time Ive peed since Ive been here!
Phoebe: Yeah, oh Im sorry, it must be really hard to hear! I tell ya, its a lot easier having three babies play Bringing in the Noise, Bringing in da Funk on your bladder! Im so sick of being pregnant! The only happiness I get is from a cup of coffee, which of course is decaf, causeOh! Im pregnant!
Phoebe: I havent really had any yet.
Ross: I sortve already asked Chandler.
Ross: Joey, I figured youd understand. I mean, I-Ive known him a lot longer.
Joey: Come on Ross! Look, I-I dont have any brothers; Ill never get to be a best man!
Chandler: You can be the best man when I get married.
Joey: (pause) Ill never get to be a best man!
Ross: (to Chandler) Wait-wait, so, you get to be my best man twice and I never get to be yours at all?
Joey: (impatiently tapping Chandler on the shoulder) What about me?! You-you just said I could!
Chandler: Im not even getting married! Okay, this is a question for science fiction writers!
Joey: I cant believe youre not picking me.
Chandler: Im not even Im not even
Ross: Fine, yknow what, thats it. From now on, Joey, I want you to be my best man.
Monica: I thought that was a good thing.
Joey: Do you guys have like a big bowl I can borrow?
Joey: Baby shower. Wow! That sounds sooo like something I dont want to do! Later! (Finally, he makes his exit.)
Phoebe: I cant believe Im gonna have a party! This is so great! (Really excited) A party! (Really, really excited) Yay!! (Suddenly, she starts crying and Rachel moves to comfort her.) I dont know why.
Joey: This is what Ive got going for the party so far, liquor wise. Get a lot of liquor.
Joey: Okay, now uh, in terms of the invite list, Ive got you, me, and Chandler and Im gonna invite Gunther cause, well, weve been talking about this pretty loud.
Gunther: Ill be there.
Joey: All rightoh! Listen, I know this is your party, but Id really like to the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.
Ross: Yeah, see, I dont think its gonna that difficult considering this one wont be taking place in the basement of a Pizza Hut.
Chandler: Oh, Im Ross. Im Ross. Im too good for the Hut; Im too good for the Hut.
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
Joey: Oh, I chose not to hear that.
Monica: Look what I got! Look what I got! Look what I got! (She shows Rachel what she bought. She bought a little leather jacket and a little cowboy outfit for the babies.) Can you believe they make these for little people?
Monica: I know! Phoebe is gonna love dressing them in these!
Phoebe: What the hell is this?! What, did you actually thought it would make me feel better to give me stuff that I cant use for another two months?! This sucks! All right, whats my next present?!
All: I dont have anything. (All of the rest of the women there hide their gifts behind their backs.)
Chandler: (banging a spoon against his beer bottle) Okay, a little announcement, a little announcement. Ive decided that my best man is, my best friend Gunther!
Chandler: (banging on the bottle again) Okay, okay, a little announcement, I just want everyone to know that the position of my best man is still open! And uh, (to the stripper) so is the position of the bride.
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
The Stripper: Wow, I didnt know they let you keep chickens and ducks as pets.
Joey: Oh yeah-yeah. And I got the duck totally trained. Watch this. Stare at the wall. (The duck complies.) Hardly move. (The duck complies.) Be white. (The duck complies.)
The Stripper: You are really good at that. So uh, I had fun tonight, you throw one hell of a party.
The Stripper: Yeah, that would be great. So I guess umm, good night.
Joey: Yeah. Ill let you play with my duck.
Joey: Dude, this isnt funny! What am I gonna do?! I go to bed last night, everythings cool! I wake up this morning, the strippers gone and the ring is gone!
Phoebe: I-I wanted to apologise if Iyknow seemed a tad edgy yesterday at my shower. Yknow its just the hormones, yknow.
Phoebe: Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you, it was just, it was so sweet. (She goes to hug them and they both flinch, thinking that Phoebe is about to attack them.)
Phoebe: Wow! This reminds me of the time when I was umm, living on the street and this guy offered to buy me food if I slept with him.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Im-Im sorry, I just thought that
Joey: Ugh! I dont know what Im going to do! I called the company that sent and th-they dont care! Then I called 9-1-1 and they laughed at me, if this isnt an emergency, then what is?
Ross: I just wanted to thank you again for last night, what a great party! And the guys from work had a blast. Yknow, one of them had never been to a bachelor party before. Yeah! And-and another one had never been to a party before, so
Joey: I was uh, I was thinking I might want to pick one of those babies up for myself, I might want to get one of those
Chandler: Well, I think it all started when you said, "Hey Joey, why dont you be my best man."
Joey: Dude, I screwed up, you dont have to turn me in!
Joey: Oh, yeah, well I already did that! They said theyre gonna look into it right after they solved all the murders.
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
Joey: Look Ross, I am so-so sorry. I-I-I
Monica: Im so glad you liked it.
Phoebe: Oh! No, I-I think I just had a contraction.
Phoebe: Yeah, I thought I had one a couple of minutes ago, and now I know that was definitely one.
Monica: Wait, you cant have the baby here! I mean I havent sterilised it since the guys moved out!
Rachel: Okay. Its okay. Were gonna be okay. Yknow what? Its okay. Im gonna, Im gonna, Im gonna boil some water and just rip up some sheets!
Rachel: I dont know!
Joey: All right, okay, this is great, uh, Chandler, you get behind the desk. And-and when she comes in hopefully, she wont recognise you because, well, why would she? Uh, okay, and then you buzz Ross and I. (to Ross) You be Mr. Gonzalez, and Ill be uh, Mr. Wong.
The Stripper: Wait, you guys think I stole some ring?
The Stripper: Okay, who are you? The Hardy boys? Look, I dont need to steal some stupid ring, all right? I make $1,600 a week doing what I do; any of you guys make that?
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
Rachel: I still dont get how you know when its false labour.
Phoebe: Okay, I guess. I mean I dont know, its just, I guess I know its going to be over soon.
Phoebe: I know. Its just yknow usually when youre, when youre done with the pregnant thing, yknow, then you get to do the mom thing. Im gonna be yknow, sitting around in my leather pants, drinking Tequila.
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Monica: I mean, youre the one theyre gonna come to when they wanna run away from home, and the one they talk to about sex.
Phoebe: Cool Aunt Phoebe. I am pretty cool!
Joey: Im so worried about him, yknow?
Joey: No, its not. I mean you-you made me your best man and I totally let you down!
Ross: Hey! Hey! Hey! I get to choose my best man, and I want both you guys.
Ross: Hey, both you guys should be up there with me. I mean, you two are-are my I mean, Im lucky to have just one good (They all start getting emotional.)
Joey: (starting to cry) I gotta go check something over here. (He walks away so that they cant see him cry.)
Ross: Oh well, I guess Ill catch up with her later.
Joey: Hey, I washed those!
Joey: Yeah, I have stuff in there too.
Ross: I think I might know what this is about.
Phoebe: Well, what am I gonna do? I really need my guitar!
Ross: Wow! I thought you would be a little more shocked.
Joey: Yeah, I dont think thats what it is.
Joey: Oh wow, I dont feel well.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom?
Joey: I still cant believe they took away my key. You trust me with yours.
Monica: Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I wont let you drive the Porsche is because youre a terrible driver. There! That wasnt about the wedding.
Ticket Agent: Im sorry, all our first class seats are taken. That couple got the last two.
Chandler: Yes, here it comes! Im stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I dont think so mister!
Phoebe: But look Chandler, right now, no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe you can do this.
Chandler: Hey-hey! I thought Naked Thursdays was just our thing man!
Mike: Okay, when I got divorced, I didn't think I'd feel this way about someone for a really long time... Then again, I didn't think I'd meet someone like you... and... this may be crazy soon, but... I want you to have this... (He tries to get something from his pocket, but it's not that easy... Phoebe looks in a "what's happening" face to him. He finally has found something) No, not... that's gum. (He digs in a little more.) Ooh, five bucks... I love it when that happens, you know... Think no note's there...
Airline Employee: Uh sir, may I see your tickets please?
Paul: Yeah. But then I changed my mind. Im funny like that. So I told Lizzie, now Im telling you, I dont want you seeing my daughter anymore.
Phoebe: Yeah okay... yeah, your mom... okay... She looks nice, I can talk to her.
Lauren: Ive been waiting up all night for ya. Where have you been? (Joey doesnt answer) Where have you been? Vic?!
Rachel: Hi. (He helps her up.) Umm, I think theres something that we really need to talk about.
Rachel: Well then I demand a recount! (Hmm, I wonder where Ive heard that before.)
Ross: (quietly confident) I think we do. Why dont we go inside? (They go inside.) Look uh, I know why youre here.
Ross: Im good. Im good.
Rachel: Okay, yknow what? Can I, can I talk now?
Joey: Okay wait-wait p-please be cool! Okay? I work with this woman.
Monica: Well Im not sure yet, but umm of the top of my head Im thinking double sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat.
Rachel: Listen, yknow what? I was really freaked out too when I found out
Rachel: I know. I know, but yknow condoms only work like 97% of the time.
Ross: Yeah, I need uh Im justI dont knowI dont understand, umm, how this happened? We-we used a condom.
Ross: Oh well I may as well have!
Ross: (on phone) Yeah Ill press 1! (Presses one which allows Rachel to escape.)
Mr. Treeger: Anyway uh, Ill get moving on that new door.
Rachel: Okay, yknow maybe I should come back (Starts to leave.)
Monica: Great! Umm, well what-what I was doing in Chandler's room is that umm, I was cleaning it! In fact, he pays me to clean it!
Mr. Treeger: Well Im gonna have to put on a new lock, theyll find out anyway.
Ross: Look, is Rachel here? I really need to talk to her.
Monica: I cant believe were here.
Joey: You know what it is? It's a nice place but I gotta see I don't know if I see myself living here. Oh, oh, oh, let me see... (Joey sits down on the couch, mimes opening a can and puts his hand down his pants) Yeah, I could see it.
Rachel: Oh! Oh! Can I give out the candy? I really want to be with the kids right now. Yknow, ever since I got pregnant I-I have the strongest maternal instincts.
Joey: Wow! I cant believe this! This is incredible. I mean you just won an Oscar!
Rachel: (sighs) If I said I was, would you judge me?
Monica: No! (Pause) Are you doing it?! I dont hear anything! Come on!
Joey: I know! All right, Ill see you guys over there! Im off to fight the Nazis.
Ross: Well yeah, I think we should get married.
Monica: I was trying to help out a squirrel.
Dr. Long: (entering) Am I interrupting?
Rachel: I can too eat by myself!
Rachel: Wow. There it is, I see it.
Rachel: When certain people leave the table and I am not finished!
Phoebe: Also uhm... I just want you to know what a wonderful man your son is.
Chandler: Oh no-no Joey, I am not going to tell you because I am an excellent secret keeper.
Dr. Long: Huh. Nice to meet you. Ill get started on this.
Rachel: I cant see it!
Rachel: I do need you! I need you to stand near my head!
Rachel: No, I dont see it!
Rachel: Oh. Oh, its beautiful. I see it now.
Rachel: I dont see it!
Rachel: (startled) Ahh, hi! Hi! Melissa, whats up? Im just uh, about to umm, go out to the store to get some stuff to put in my backpack. Yknow, like dried fruit and granola and stuff. Whats up? (She has put on the backpack.)
Joey: I dont see the baby. Where is it?
Monica: I know.
Monica: No! No! I shouldnt have even opened these! I mean IJoey I am out of control!! Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay?
Bitsy: Thank you, I think so too.
Monica: Yeah, can we go call them? Is it too soon to call? I wanna call.
Rachel: Im going to find out if he really thinks supermodels are too skinny. (As she exits, Phoebe enters.) Hey, Pheebs!
Rachel: Oh! Look! I have a sonogram picture!
Rachel: I was sending you signals?
Chandler: Yeah, well, sorry doesnt bring back the little piggy that cried all the way home! I hate this stupid day! And everything about it! I'll see you later.
Chandler: You know, I don't mind a... male nanny, but I do draw the line at a male wetnurse. (again they laugh, even more fake than before)
Rachel: But you did! I mean, lets be honest.
Monica: Do you still wanna call em? I wanna call em.
Rachel: God. I forgot how much I love driving. I have got to get my license renewed.
Monica: (hangs up) I dont think this numbers right!
Joey: All right! Ill have a sandwich!
Joey: Oh I think we do.
Rachel: Im sorry, they were just all coming at me, and I didnt know what to do.
Monica: Well, I thought this would be a great opportunity to use up all the food that I don't want to move to the new house with me! So, enjoy: smoke oyster casserole with a breakfast cereal crust, kidney beans in their own juices, and for dessert, a questionable orange.
Phoebe: Hmm, I wonder why. Pervert!
Phoebe: Oh, god, the last time I babysat them, they did the funniest thing..
Joey: Personal thing? What personal thing? I dont know.
Ross: Okay, listen I am not a pervert!
Joey: (laughs) Yeah I knew what you were talkin about.
Ross: Really?! (To Rachel) Hey, yknow what? Since you have such a great sense of what I need, uh ooh, heres-heres 60 bucks, why dont you take Phoebe down to that Colonial flea market of yours and get me some stuff.
Joey: (sees hes watching Baywatch) Ohhh. (sees he still has the chick) Ahh! What are you doing?! I thought you were gonna take her back to the store today.
Ross: Do you have a minute? Id like to talk to you about something Im, Im really uncomfortable talking about.
Joey: The skys blue Ross and I had sex yesterday!
Ross: (sarcastic) Ill try to control myself.
PHOEBE: I, I don't wanna meet my father over the phone. What am I gonna say, like 'Hi, I'm Phoebe, the daughter you abandoned. Oh, by the way, I broke your dog.'
Kristen: I think its Tibidabo.
Ross: (stopping him) Okay! Okay! Okay. Im sorry. Please, please, you were in Western Europe and?
Ross: No! No, I dont dont want to.
Chandler: No, I don't see anything different other than the fact that the room got so much brighter when you came into it. (Forced laughter)
Kristen: I love hiking!
Ross: Anyway, umm so I was um, I was hiking
Joey: Im not feeling it.
Ross: Its been six months! Im always hot!
Joey: All right! Thanks! Youre the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Joey: No! No! No Ross! Im not hot! Are you hot?
Ross: Ill try that.