words in movies
MONICA: Oh, I ordered mine first.
CHANDLER: That was there when I got here. [Takes a bite of his muffin.]
PHOEBE: Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy.
PHOEBE: Yeah, I met him when I was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change.
ROSS: Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.
PHOEBE: Well, I've never had it, I feel so left out. [Sees a red bump on her arm.] Oh look!
MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
RICHARD: Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Crochee's Leroy Brown.
RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
MONICA: If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.
RICHARD: Actually, if it's possible, I love you more.
MONICA: Really? Wow, well then come on, I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.
CHANDLER: Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.
JOEY: Oh yeah yeah. I process. People want the processing, I'm the one they call.
CHANDLER: I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.
PHOEBE: I, I, I'm hideous.
PHOEBE: Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.
PHOEBE: 'Cause my, my grandmother's never had chicken pox. Please, please tell me you have, 'cause oh my God, I forgot how cute you are.
RYAN: I'm sorry, I never had 'em.
RYAN: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
PHOEBE: Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
RYAN: Can I please see your face?
RYAN: Your face could be covered with lochs, I wouldn't care.
PHOEBE: And you hate fish. Oh. That's so sweet, alright. Ok, alright, you can see. This is me... [she unveils herself right as a huge lightning bolt crashes outside. Ryan screams in terror.] Oh, I am scary.
PHOEBE: I hate this. 'Cause I tell you, I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us, and almost everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this.
RYAN: Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]
JOEY: Hey and everbody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.
JOEY: I figure my character has kids.
CHANDLER: Ya know there isn't a part of that sentence I don't need explained.
PHOEBE: No. This is what I do for luck, ok.
PHOEBE: Uhh, I can't stop thinking about it. It's just so hard. I just wanna grab all these houses and rub 'em all over my body. [Grabs a handful of the houses.]
ROSS: You know, I might have expected this of you Phoebe, but Ryan, you're a military man.
JEANNIE: Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.
MR. DOUGLAS: Uh, listen Bing, I received your memo. So, we're not gonna receive the systems report until next Friday?
MR. DOUGLAS: I have a family, I'm gonna be here.
CHANDLER: It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.
JOEY: This company was not built on rough numbers. Am I right Mr. Douglas.
JOEY: Hey, hey, I just figure Joseph's the kinda guy that likes to mix it up. Ya know, get in there, ruffle some feathers.
RICHARD: Ooh, duct tape. Was I supposed to bring something too?
MONICA: This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mits to their hands.
RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
RICHARD: Well, I'm confused. I thought we shared time.
MONICA: No no. See, in my bedroom I set my clock six minutes fast. You wanna know why?
RICHARD: Ok. Ahh. One of my things is, I always separate my sweat socks from my dress socks.
RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.
MONICA: You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
RICHARD: See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well.
JOEY: Becasue at first he thought it was Joseph. But after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. Anyway, I just thought you should know.
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
CHANDLER: I don't, I hate Joseph, ok. I think he's a brown-nosing suck up.
CHANDLER: Alright, ok, alright. So I can't fire Joseph but uh, I can sleep with his wife.
CHANDLER: Yeah, Karen. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what? I just did.
CHANDLER: Oh well it's not me, it's my character, Chandy. Yeah the rogue processor who seduces his co-worker's wives for sport and then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler. In fact, I have her panties right there in my drawer.
JOEY: It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. [Chadler pushes him out the door by the face.]
PHOEBE: Can I please take these off? I swear I won't scratch.
RYAN: Oh, I spilled some.
PHOEBE: I got it. [Wipes it up with her mits.]
RYAN: [Puts his hands over Phoebe's ears.] I must tell you, you look beautiful tonight.
RICHARD: I thought of a thing.
RICHARD: Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.
MONICA: No honey. You have to sleep on this side of the bed because I have to sleep on this side of the bed.
RICHARD: Or so I would have you believe.
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
RYAN: I really can't say.
RYAN: I can't say.
RYAN: I'm sorry, but I can't say.
RYAN: I better get out of here, I'm gonna miss my flight.
PHOEBE: I know. We didn't do any of the romantic things I had planned, like having a picnic at Central Park and ya know, coffee at Central Perk. Oh I just got that. [They kiss.]
RACHEL: Well then uh, we better make this night count. [He starts to carry her out.] Oh wait, I forgot to turn off the cappucino machine. [He carries her over to turn it off.] Anchors away. Oh no no, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my pu rse. [He carries her to the counter to pick up her purse.] Oh, you know what. I forgot to turn off the bathroom light.
ROSS: Alright you know, why don't I just meet you upstairs. [Drops her on the couch and walks out holding his lower back.]
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Elizabeth: Uh no, theyre still here but I think Im about to leave.
Rachel: Okay, I need a date! (runs to her bedroom)
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!
Chandler: No! No! No! I was so careful! (Runs out.)
Rachel: I know. Im sorry.
Ross: Perhaps. Now Im curious, at what point during those girlish screams would you have begun to kick my ass?
Phoebe: Oh, can I play too? Ive never played football, like ever.
Rachel: Huh, yeah I guess we are roommates now.
(Phoebe then gets possessed 'cause she starts speaking in tongues. She speaks Italian to Joey's grandmother. She is quickly exorcised and returns to speaking in English. Of course, too most people English is a strange language as well. But none of them are probably reading this and if they were they wouldn't understand it. So why am I talking about them? I have absolutely no clue. Moving on )
Joey: Well, where was I? (Takes a sip of the coffee.)
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. Thank you Chandler.
Ross: (He checks his watch) Sure. Ill help you.
Chandler: I was just trying to bring a little culture to the group.
Elizabeth: Im the student.
Ross: I dont know Rachel, why?
Chandler: I got caught up and work, but I'm quitting tomorrow.
Monica: Youre right, Im sorry. Its not like youre yknow, going out with an ex-girlfriend.
Monica: Oh, I like Elizabeth.
Phoebe: (interrupting) Okay, I got a good one. Okay, umm, what is she? Like 12?
Phoebe: Okay, I just thought of the perfect guy for Rachel to take to her thing.
Rachel: Okay. Okay. (They sit down.) I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it?
Monica: You don't tell me what to do! I tell you what to do! Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados. And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in humidity? (Mike hangs up the phone) Damnit!
Monica: Well...Id better get going.
PHOEBE: Ok, ok, she's taking the trash out so I can get you out of here but it has to be now, she'll be back any minute.
Phoebe: I know. (Laughs.)
Chandler: I can not believe that I am going out with someone that is getting divorced. I'm such a grown up.
Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.
Elizabeth: I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment?
The Porsche Owner: Im not coming back.
Joey: Uh-oh. I hade a pretty hectic day at work too, today I had to open a door and go (looking scared) ohhhh!
Elizabeth: Oh! Sorry! Umm, I actually do need to talk to you.
Ross: I can do that. Oh-oh, what if she gets upset?
Rachel: Well, yknow its just been so long since Ive been to Chuckie Cheese.
Ross: I've seen her at work, but I always figured, ah-huh? But, uh, I made her dinner. We had a great time. And we're going out again tomorrow.
Chandler: Joey, I saw you push him!
Elizabeth: I wanted to say how much I enjoyed your class.
Joey: Im not talking to you! You broke my fridge!
Rachel: Oh well, it's kinda lonely up there, so I just thought I would come out here and get some fresh air.
Rachel: No. (grabs an eggroll) And then I called him, and he wasnt there.
Ross: Hey, I think Elizabeth is a little more serious than, "Spring break!" (Imitates the party noise.) All right? I mean shes taken my class!
Ross: No. No. Nothing happened. I shut the drapes to uh, show her slides of my favorite fossils.
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Sebastian: Can I get you a cup of coffee?
Rachel: Hey! You guys umm, I want you to meet Sebastian.
Ross: Im gonna call her.
Chandler: All right Ill have one. (he and Ross take another brownie,)
Joey: Right!(he starts to ape her)"Oh my God, is this the men's room? Oh, I feel so foolish, have you always known you wanted to be an actor?" (he inclines his head as if to look at a man's private parts)
Sebastian: Look, I just wanted to have coffee with Rachel.
Rachel: Yes, Ill meet em.
Ross: Besides, I-I think I figured out a much faster route, Im sure I can make it this time. I just I just cant be afraid to get a little bit hit by cars. (He goes to the bathroom as Joey enters.)
Phoebe: Earl, youre not hearing me! All Im saying is that youre not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with! (One of her coworkers overhears that, and she mimes that she didnt mean him.)
Joey: Sure! I was there! Spring Break 81! Woo-hoo!
Ross: Then what am I supposed to do?
Ross: Yknow what? Fine! Get attacked! I dont even care!
Ross: Well umm, oh! I might be teaching another class this semester!
Ross: Im so glad youre going on this trip!
Monica: Hey! Oh, I'm so glad you're home, I thought tonight we could finally organize these photos!
Rachel: I dont know. I know I dont work late tomorrow night.
Joey: Well, with Dr. Drake they always tell me what to say. And with Joey, I pretty much have to make it up on my own.
Rachel: Im just sort of in the middle of something.
Phoebe: Yeah, this is the guy I was telling you about.
Rachel: Yeah, Im good.
Elizabeth: Oops! I did not mean to run into you like that sir.
Rachel: Okay, yknow what? Maybe I should go!
JOEY: So, assistant to the director. That's a really exciting job, I mean, you must have a ton of cool responsibilities.
Joey: Here. I need to borrow some moisturizer.
Rachel: I Am I the only one that this is embarrassing for?
Tall Guy: Shes nice, huh? To think I almost brought my wife to this!
Monica: Hes great! I mean we have such a good time together! Hes so funny, and sooo sweet, and Im not attracted to him at all!!
Elizabeth: I will.
Ross: Im just saying if you cant eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Ross: Im sorry your husband cheated on you.
Joey: That, is not a cat! {I have to agree with Joey on this one.}
Elizabeth: Yeah! Im just going down there to relax and hang out with my friends.
Rachel: I cant let him go out that way, hes got a meeting. (To Ross) Youve got something here on your back.
Chandler: Yeah, but its not who I am. Everything they said was exaclty why I was worried about having a kid. And its true. And look everybody knows it.
Joey: No! I wont leave you!
Phoebe: Dont worry about me, Im a robot! Im just a machine!!
Phoebe: Well, they fired me and Im having heart attack.
Joey: Yeah, I thought I was pretty good too.
Chandler: Oh since forever! I used to go all over town listening to bands!
Phoebe: I am.
Chandler: I dunno, aren't there tests for these things, right?
Monica: I will.
Joey: All right well, Im outta here. Wish me luck.
Monica: No, Ill do it. You just stick to your job.
Joey: Im just so nervous! Yknow? The callback isnt until tomorrow at five. I feel like my head is going to explode!
Ross: Oh, I love that guy! (Laughs.)
Ross: Well, if whats in the bottle is actually 30. I mean sometimes you get 30, sometimes its-its get 4, and I swear to God more often than not its just milk.
Ross: (stops laughing) What am I doing?
Rachel: Im an assistant buyer!!
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Interviewer: Don't, I like it dirty.
Janice: We got the proofs back from that photo shoot, you know, the one with the little vegetables. Anyway, they pretty much sucked, so, I blew off the rest of the day, and I went shopping...(looks through her bags)... and I got you, I'm looking, I'm looking, I'm looking, I got you...
Ross: Maybe I should get another pair! Ooh, y'know, they-they had some with fringe all down the sides. (Chandler starts rubbing his temple again.) I'm gonna go kiss Ben goodnight. (He starts to head for Monica's bedroom.) I can't believe he thinks I'm a cowboy. (Pause.) I would make a good cowboy. (He struts into Monica's room.)
Joey: Yeah, did I fool ya?
Ross: I know when Im 90 shell be like 80 and it wont seem like such a big difference.
Rachel: No Yeah, all the time, constantly. It's terrifying. But you know that I figure it it has to work out.
Ross: (entering) Okay Pheebs, I know how we're going to figure this out. Okay, clear your mind and answer the first thing that comes into your head. Okay?