words in movies
MONICA: Oh, I ordered mine first.
CHANDLER: That was there when I got here. [Takes a bite of his muffin.]
PHOEBE: Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy.
PHOEBE: Yeah, I met him when I was playing guitar in Washington Square Park. Ryan threw in salt water taffy 'cause he didn't have any change.
ROSS: Well, I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got the chicken pox.
PHOEBE: Well, I've never had it, I feel so left out. [Sees a red bump on her arm.] Oh look!
MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
RICHARD: Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Crochee's Leroy Brown.
RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
MONICA: If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.
RICHARD: Actually, if it's possible, I love you more.
MONICA: Really? Wow, well then come on, I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.
CHANDLER: Hey, look Joey, I'm just saying if you need something to hold you over, I can get you a job right here as an entry level processor.
JOEY: Oh yeah yeah. I process. People want the processing, I'm the one they call.
CHANDLER: I was just telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.
PHOEBE: I, I, I'm hideous.
PHOEBE: Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.
PHOEBE: 'Cause my, my grandmother's never had chicken pox. Please, please tell me you have, 'cause oh my God, I forgot how cute you are.
RYAN: I'm sorry, I never had 'em.
RYAN: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
PHOEBE: Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
RYAN: Can I please see your face?
RYAN: Your face could be covered with lochs, I wouldn't care.
PHOEBE: And you hate fish. Oh. That's so sweet, alright. Ok, alright, you can see. This is me... [she unveils herself right as a huge lightning bolt crashes outside. Ryan screams in terror.] Oh, I am scary.
PHOEBE: I hate this. 'Cause I tell you, I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us, and almost everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this.
RYAN: Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]
JOEY: Hey and everbody is so nice. I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.
JOEY: I figure my character has kids.
CHANDLER: Ya know there isn't a part of that sentence I don't need explained.
PHOEBE: No. This is what I do for luck, ok.
PHOEBE: Uhh, I can't stop thinking about it. It's just so hard. I just wanna grab all these houses and rub 'em all over my body. [Grabs a handful of the houses.]
ROSS: You know, I might have expected this of you Phoebe, but Ryan, you're a military man.
JEANNIE: Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.
MR. DOUGLAS: Uh, listen Bing, I received your memo. So, we're not gonna receive the systems report until next Friday?
MR. DOUGLAS: I have a family, I'm gonna be here.
CHANDLER: It's about cutting my people a little slack, ya know, for morale. Look, if you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.
JOEY: This company was not built on rough numbers. Am I right Mr. Douglas.
JOEY: Hey, hey, I just figure Joseph's the kinda guy that likes to mix it up. Ya know, get in there, ruffle some feathers.
RICHARD: Ooh, duct tape. Was I supposed to bring something too?
MONICA: This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mits to their hands.
RICHARD: You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under. See in a tape emergency you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
MONICA: Exactly. Oh, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now. Tell me the truth. Don't you like it better now that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
RICHARD: Well, I'm confused. I thought we shared time.
MONICA: No no. See, in my bedroom I set my clock six minutes fast. You wanna know why?
RICHARD: Ok. Ahh. One of my things is, I always separate my sweat socks from my dress socks.
RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.
MONICA: You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
RICHARD: See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well.
JOEY: Becasue at first he thought it was Joseph. But after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you. Anyway, I just thought you should know.
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
CHANDLER: I don't, I hate Joseph, ok. I think he's a brown-nosing suck up.
CHANDLER: Alright, ok, alright. So I can't fire Joseph but uh, I can sleep with his wife.
CHANDLER: Yeah, Karen. I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what? I just did.
CHANDLER: Oh well it's not me, it's my character, Chandy. Yeah the rogue processor who seduces his co-worker's wives for sport and then laughs about it the next day at the water cooler. In fact, I have her panties right there in my drawer.
JOEY: It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. [Chadler pushes him out the door by the face.]
PHOEBE: Can I please take these off? I swear I won't scratch.
RYAN: Oh, I spilled some.
PHOEBE: I got it. [Wipes it up with her mits.]
RYAN: [Puts his hands over Phoebe's ears.] I must tell you, you look beautiful tonight.
RICHARD: I thought of a thing.
RICHARD: Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.
MONICA: No honey. You have to sleep on this side of the bed because I have to sleep on this side of the bed.
RICHARD: Or so I would have you believe.
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
RYAN: I really can't say.
RYAN: I can't say.
RYAN: I'm sorry, but I can't say.
RYAN: I better get out of here, I'm gonna miss my flight.
PHOEBE: I know. We didn't do any of the romantic things I had planned, like having a picnic at Central Park and ya know, coffee at Central Perk. Oh I just got that. [They kiss.]
RACHEL: Well then uh, we better make this night count. [He starts to carry her out.] Oh wait, I forgot to turn off the cappucino machine. [He carries her over to turn it off.] Anchors away. Oh no no, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my pu rse. [He carries her to the counter to pick up her purse.] Oh, you know what. I forgot to turn off the bathroom light.
ROSS: Alright you know, why don't I just meet you upstairs. [Drops her on the couch and walks out holding his lower back.]
Chandler: I happen to know a Fun Bob.
Rachel: I mean n-not-not fake at all like most famous people.
Rachel: I did it! Oh! I finished it! I did it all by myself! And there's nobody to hug!
JOEY: I don't need to think about it. I was Dr. Drake Remoray. That was huge. Big things are gonna happen, you'll see. Ross, you still there?
CHANDLER: (thinks, then turns to Monica) I climb down the fire escape and you can't put that in the closet?
Ross: What... what am I gonna do? My speech is gone, Chandler!
Chandler: I would but mine doesnt fit. The pants are a little tight.
Joey: When have I ever done that?! (And does the sound again.)
Joey: Youre not stupid. Youre meaner than I thought.
PHOEBE: OK, I smell smoke. Maybe that's 'cause someone's pants are on fire.
Ross: I know, uh, the air, the-the trees... even though Nana's gone there's, there's something almost, uh- I dunno, almost life-aff- (Not looking where he is going he falls into an open grave)
DUNCAN: Oh, yeah, um, alright, I kinda need a divorce.
Dr. Harad: Okay, you're at ten centimeters. Time to start having some babies. All right, I want only the father in here please.
Chandler: And we just sit here. I mean if I die the only way people would even know I was here, would be by the ass print on this chair! Look, we have to do something. Okay? Something huge!
Ross: I know! (Looks at the ball in his hands.) Don't switch hands, okay?
Chandler: Well, Im sure you get another one at Ann Taylors.
Janine: Well I did. I really did. And you guys, Ive got to say, Im sorry if I was a little weird after the last time we went out. I guess I was just nervous or something.
Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.
Monica: You bet that Id screw up?! So all that stuff about hiring me because I was good was
RACHEL: I know, I know, I know, I know. I was just thinking about when they were there the last time, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. OK, OK, look, woah, I promise, I'm good, I'm not gonna laugh anymore. OK put your hands back there.
CHANDLER: That's what I did when I lost my Clydesdales.
Phoebe: I just cant decide who she looks more alike, you or Rachel?
Emily: I mean, I can't-I can't be in the same room as her! It drives me mad just thinking of you being in the same room as her!
Joey: I dont have a key, they took mine to give to you.
Alice: Were gonna have a big family, Ive always wanted a big family!
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Hillary: You know, youre a really great listener. Most guys I go out with, they just talk and talk.
Joey: Hey Rach listen, no matter what this guy says I want you to know youre not gonna be alone in this.
Earl: Okay, I dont need any toner because Im going to kill myself.
Chandler: No, I guess I just never really cried. Yknow? Im not a crying kind of guy.
Friend No. 2: Oh, isnt it exciting, I mean its like having a boyfriend for life.
Paul: Wait! Wait! Listen! Listen to this! (Flips a couple pages and points to something.) Yknow what I wanted to be when I was that age?
Joey: Wait! Terry! WaitLookWait I-I Look, Im really sorry about before. I was an idiot thinking Im too big to audition for you. You gotta give me another chance.
Mrs. Geller: This is your grandmothers engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Rachel: Patrick and I had such a great time last night! I mean I think this could maybe turn into something serious.
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Ross: I mean look, that-that one night we had was fun and and certainly passionate, but dont you think its better if we just stayed friends?
Ross: Okay, I did not abandon Rachel! Okay? Emily showed up at the airport! I had to go after her! I mean, I-I did what I had to do! She's my wife! Rachel is my wife! Y'knowEmily! Emily, is my wife! Man, what is that?
Rachel: I uh, I have two tickets to the Knicks game tonight if youre interested, just as a thank you for this week.
Rachel: Okay, its justand this is really embarrassingbut lately with this whole pregnancy thing Im just finding myself how do I put this umm, erotically charged.
Rachel: Ohh, I love Joey! Joey lives with a duck! (Goes and hugs Joey.)
MR. TREEGER: Oh wow, I didn't get you anything. Here's five back.
Ross: I dont know whether hes testing me, or just acting out, but my monkey is out of control. But, he keeps erasing the messages on my machine, "supposedly" by accident.
Rachel: All right, fine! But I had too! I had to do it for my career!
Rachel: Fine! Im sorry for your loss! (Hands it back to her.)
Phoebe: Good, but wait. Okay, all right, here we go. Now I want you to relax. Take a deep breath. Clear your mind. (Quickly) Which do you like better peanut butter or egg whites?
Phoebe: Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early. Wait. Wait, I�m not t�not that kind of girl that just ditches her friends to be with her boyfriend. You know what? I am. Bye guys! (waves to the bar) Judy! Bye.
Rachel: Hi. Tag, I have a conference call today is that correct?
Gunther: Yeah, thats what I drive. I make four bucks an hour, I saved up for 350 years!
Lewis: Yeah, Im all in love with you and stuff. So could you change my grade?
Emily: Ohh, I dont think so. I mean it would be different if it was way into the future and-and-and we were getting married or something.
CHANDLER: Ohhh [turns as if to hug someone] Oh no, wait a minute, I have no one.
Joey: It wasnt my ring! It fell out of Rosss jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!
Joey: No, Chandler. Look, forget about it, okay? Look, I know things have been a little tight since Janine moved out. Oh, was she hot.
Chandler: Actually, no. No, it felt right. You know, it felt like uhm... I can't believe we haven't been doing this the whole time.
Tim: Oh, Im so glad you called. I feel like its always me calling you. So, whats up? Is everything okay with Phoebe?
Precious: Screw you, Mike. You're a coward and a bastard, and I hope you rot in hell.
Phoebe: Hey, I never got to hear who you guys would pick to be your girlfriend.
Monica: Well you let me know if you can, because yknow I can bake a pie to cover it.
Phoebe: I cant believe you wont just admit it! (Pause) Okay, just promise me that you wont do anything stupid.
Chandler: 'Cause, I wanted to uh, give you this. (hands her a present)
Roy: You know, actually that's not a bad idea. I can do it out of my apartment. I don't think my mom would mind.
Joanna: Thats why I said all those things about your flirting and your drinking
Monica: Yeah! I mean it was really funny, I-I just don't think you got it. You see Kara's coffee is-is-is weak tasting, okay? But-but what Doug was-was imply that it was weak physically. You get it now honey?
Joey: I would sooner die in this hellhole then see her back with you!
Phoebe: Dont you see? Everyones looking at me! The plans working! I didnt even have to take off my top yet!
Chandler: Y'know, I can't believe I'm getting my nails done! And you said it was gonna be fun! (pause) Which it kinda is. Also, you said there would be other guys here. There are no other guys here!
ROSS: Shouldn't the pizza be here by now?� I mean, they said thirty minutes or less.� Well, how long has it been?
Monica: We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?
MONICA: It's just that he doesn't have that much free time, ya know, and I don't know, what do I do?
CHANDLER: I was looking forward to playing basketball, but I guess that's out the window.
Rachel: Oh yeah, I'm jealous. "Oh Gavin, please, please look at my ass". (Gavin starts looking) Stop looking at my ass! I mean, I just think you are totally inappropriate, ok? This is a work environment, she's your subordinate.
Chandler: And Im the happiest guy in the world! (Monica goes and sits down in a huff.) Oh honey, come on dont be upset. We still have so much to look forward to!
Ben: I have to go. My friend Doug is waiting for me over there. (Goes over to Doug.)
Ross: I knew it! I knew it! I always knew she liked him! Y'know, shed say no, but here we are! Right? We just broke up, first thing she does!
Monica: Ohh, this is soo amazing! I cant believe my brothers getting married! And in London! Its so romantic!
Monica: Youre supposed to double the tax. Not double the tax of Romania. I mean, whats-whats the deal? Are you, are you trying to buy me? Is this the way you get girls to go out with you?
Ross: Hey! Hey! Hey! I get to choose my best man, and I want both you guys.
Rachel: (entering) Hey Ross? Umm, I just ran into Caitlin in the hallway and-and uh, you must be getting better at this flirting stuff than I thought.
Joey: What am I going to do? You know, and I keep, I keep trying to get rid of these feelings, yknow? I stayed up all last night and made a list of everything I dont like about her. You want to hear it?
Ross: Paolo, I-I just want to tell you and I think I speak for everyone when I say... (shuts door in his face and walks away)
Janice: Uh-oh-okay. Uh-oh-okay. I know what you all are thinking. But Chandler is in Yemen! I'm a young woman! I have needs! I can't wait forever!
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
Ross: I guess he musta gotten the part in that play.
Chandler: I bought you. How did I forget that that's all you do?
Mike: (Ross opens the door) You know I'm trying to think of the last time I opened a door and you weren't there, Phoebe are you ok? (She has her hands over her mouth)
Rachel: No, I haven't had a chance to be alone with him yet.
Phoebe: Oh, I know a way that you can decide! All right, I'm going to ask you a series of questions and you answer as quickly as you can.
Chandler: Well, I have a girlfriend, Im-Im happy. So, I no longer feel the need to go out of my way to stop others from being happy.
Chandler: I'll try, but I'm not sure what good it would do, y'know? Because I'm a lot less afraid of commitment than I used to be.
Rachel: Oh no, I know I couldnt see it either at first, but its right umm (Starts to cry) Ross, I lost it again.
Ursula: No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
Monica: I know, hes too charming, but if you two start going out, then its just gonna make it so much harder for me to hate him.
Phoebe: Here, Monica, look what I got to wear when I play at the restaurant (she dons a top hat) uh, huh wait! (she raises a pair of spectacles to her eyes) Right? I mean, this might even class up the ballad of the uncircumcised man.
Chandler: Hes not supposed to ask my girlfriend to marry him! Im supposed to do that!
PHOEBE: Um well I don't really. Just genetically. He's kinda my dad too.
Frank: Then I go feel your friend up and make you mad at me.
Chandler: (from his bedroom) All right, so you're telling me that I have to tell racist jokes now?!
Rachel: I know! I know, she says its all mass-produced, nothing is authentic, and everyone winds up having the same stuff. (Ross looks at his table.) So come on, shes gonna be here any second! Can we please just cover this up with something?! Please?
MR. GELLER: I may not know any of your flash dances but I'm no slouch on the dance floor.