words in movies
Phoebe: Or, or, y'know, um, 'I think we should see other people' means 'Ha, ha, I already am'.
Joey: "I just wanna go back to my cell. 'Cause in my cell, I can smoke."
Chandler: I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell alone.
Joey: No no no, I am not giving you a cigarette.
Ross: Can I use.. either thumb?
Phoebe: Yeah- no- I'm just- it's, I haven't worked- It's my bank.
Phoebe: It's nothing, it's just- Okay. I'm going through my mail, and I open up their monthly, you know, STATEMENT-
Phoebe: Yes, 'cause now I have to go down there, and deal with them.
Phoebe: It's not mine, I didn't earn it, if I kept it, it would be like stealing.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay, let's say I bought a really great pair of shoes. Do you know what I'd hear, with every step I took? 'Not-mine. Not-mine. Not-mine.' And even if I was happy, okay, and, and skipping- 'Not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine, not-not-mine'...
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you! You've been so good, for three years!
Chandler: Okay, so this time I won't quit!
Phoebe: Oh, no! I- I can't drink this now!
Monica: Look, I don't even know how I feel about him yet. Just give me a chance to figure that out.
Monica: I mean, why should I let them meet him? I mean, I bring a guy home, and within five minutes they're all over him. I mean, they're like- coyotes, picking off the weak members of the herd.
Paula: Listen. As someone who's seen more than her fair share of bad beef, I'll tell you: that is not such a terrible thing. I mean, they're your friends, they're just looking out after you.
Monica: I know. I just wish that once, I'd bring a guy home that they actually liked.
Phoebe: 'Dear Ms. Buffay. Thank you for calling attention to our error. We have credited your account with five hundred dollars. We're sorry for the inconvenience, and hope you'll accept this- (Searches in her purse) -football phone as our free gift.' Do you believe this?! Now I have a thousand dollars, and a football phone!
Ross: ...I'll go. Let's start with the way he kept picking at- no, I'm sorry, I can't do this, can't do this. We loved him.
Ross: ...So I think Alan will become the yardstick against which all future boyfriends will be measured.
Rachel: What future boyfriends? Nono, I th- I think this could be, y'know, it.
Ross: You know what I like most about him, though?
Monica: Fantastic! I have one question: How is that possible?
Rachel: I mean, it-it was like, it was like he made us into a team.
Monica: Can I ask you guys a question? D'you ever think that Alan is maybe.. sometimes..
Monica: ..I dunno, a little too Alan?
Chandler: I personally could have a gallon of Alan.
Phoebe: I brought you alphabet soup.
Phoebe: Yes. But I left in the Ys. 'Cause, y'know, "sometimes y". Uh, I also have something else for you. (She searches in her purse.)
Phoebe: I know.
Phoebe: No, I want you to have it. I don't want it.
Lizzie: No, no, I ha-I have to give you something.
Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!
Chandler: So I have a flaw! Big deal! Like Joey's constant knuckle-cracking isn't annoying? And Ross, with his over-pronouncing every single word? And Monica, with that snort when she laughs? I mean, what the hell is that thing? ...I accept all those flaws, why can't you accept me for this?
Ross: Oh, now, don't listen to him, Pheebs, I think it's endearing.
Rachel: "Indeed there isn't"... I should really get back to work.
Monica: Can you believe it? ...Y'know what? I just don't feel the thing. I mean, they feel the thing, I don't feel the thing.
Monica: I know.. it's gonna be really hard.
Chandler: Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.
Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)
Chandler: Ooh, Lambchop. How old is that sock? If I had a sock on my hand for thirty years it'd be talking too.
Ross: Okay. I think it's time to change somebody's nicotine patch. (Does so.)
Chandler: Joey ate my last stick of gum, so I killed him. Do you think that was wrong?
Rachel: I think he's across the hall.
Ross: Hey, I might!
Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!
Monica: Nothing. I just think it's nice when we're all here together.
Monica: Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know. I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Alan.
Phoebe: You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair)
Monica: Look, I- I could go on pretending-
Ross: Who-who wants fair? Y'know, I just want things back. Y'know, the way they were.
Chandler: (sarcastic) Oh, she's sorry! I feel better!
Rachel: (tearful) I just can't believe this! I mean, with the holidays coming up- I wanted him to meet my family-
Monica: (dubious) I understand.
Alan: Yeah, I'm sorry too. But, I gotta tell you, I am a little relieved.
Alan: Yeah, well, I had a great time with you.. I just can't stand your friends.
Chandler: (leaving) I don't care, I don't care! Game's over! I'm weak! I've gotta smoke! I've gotta have the smoke!
Ross: Like I said I was thinking of taking Emma to the museum of knives and fire!
Ross: (sarcastic) And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!
Gavin: It's OK. I know it's probably not my place but can I give you a piece of advice?
Monica: I told you! I am not coming to a naked wedding!
Monica: You are so handsome! I wanna make love to you right here, right now! (Growls and pulls him into a kiss.)
Chandler: I don’t think you can do that!
Phoebe: Well, I’ll just ask for it back!
Ross: I promise you she’s safe! No watch how much she loves this.
Ross: See, I told you!
Mike (to the charity guy): Oh my God, I love your shirt!
Phoebe: I am sorry. I am, but this wedding is just really important to me.
Ross: Im sorry I had to take such drastic measures to make my point, but Ilook, I just want you guys to be safe. (Monica comes out to throw out the garbage and Ross screams ) DANGER!!!!! (She completely ignores him and keeps walking.) Ahhh, huh? Unagi.
Ross: I want you to tell her everything. About the deal you tried to make with me, about the crazy questions you... Wally Cox! That's the voice of Underdog!
Ross: Hi! Yeah! Tommys in line for the bathroom and someone just cut in front of him, I think hes gonna snap. (Hes watching very intently)
Monica: Hi, I am Monica and this is Chandler. Please come in.
Laura: I just realized why I remember this place.
Part I Written by: Greg Malins Part II Written by: David Crane & Marta Kauffman Parts I & II Transcribed by: Eric Aasen
EDDIE: Not Sean Penn. Alright, I, I've got a funny one, alright. My last girlfriend Tilly. Ok, we're eating breakfast, right, and I made all these pancakes, there was like 50 pancakes right. And all of the sudden she turns to me, alright, and she says, 'Eddie.' I say, 'yeah,' she says, 'Eddie, I don't want to see you anymore.' And it was literally like she had reached into my chest, ripped out my heart, and smeared it all over my life, ya know. And now there's like this incredible abyss, ya know, and I'm falling and I keep falling and I don't think I'm ever gonna stop. [finishes laughing] That uh, wasn't such a funny story, was it?
Monica: I don't know. I mean, you saw him do a love scene, so maybe you don't have a thing for Joey, maybe you have a thing for Drake.
Rachel: Well when I talk to her I almost feel like she understands what I'm saying.
Laura: Well, I'm sorry I brought it up. So, are either one of you planning on staying at home with your child... (someone knocks on the door)
Sandy: No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future.
Ross: (realizing his joke wasn't so good, but still giggling) Look, I took it too far!
Ross: No wait, okay, okay, I have an idea. I want you to get on the swing, okay? And you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of.
Ross: Oh. Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better. I happen to like 8-year-old boys.
Mike: No! No, no. I see where this is going. Don't make me go back there.
Joey: You're not gonna let me buy the Knicks?? I can't believe you're taking this away from me!
Joey: Of course it does! It’s smart! I used the the-saurus!
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Monica: (Pulls Laura into the spare room) Why don't I show you the baby's room?
Joey: (disappointed) Oh... oh, but that's ok, I'll find someone else to do it... I'll do it alone, but... I don't know what happens if the sea turtle catches you...
Joey: Well, you wouldn't let me in, so I thought you were in trouble.
Joey: Hey OK great, what would you do if I did this? (Swings to punch Chandler, he moves and he ends up punching Ross, knocking him off the stool. Ross then gets up and just stares at Joey.)
Ross: Hey, I have a question. Well, actually, it's not so much a question as.. more of a general wondering... ment.
Chandler: (enters singing) Oklahoma where the wind comes sweeping down the plane, STOP IT! Why couldn't they have sent me to Texas? 7 o clock maybe I'll hit the gym (sits down) who am I kidding pay-per-view porn.
Rachel: Sweety, I gotta tell ya... it sounds a little bit like you like the apartment more than you like...
Joey: I forgot my bat.
Laura: I gave you my number, you never called me.
Chandler: I can explain... Joey...
Laura: I don't know... Well, maybe I'm wrong... I'm sorry...
Ross: Does it? Does it? Yeah, I wanted to give that whole Does it? part just another glance.
Laura: (embarrassed towards Chandler and Monica) Well, I'm pretty sure I gave you my number.
Amy: Oh, I can’t, honey. I’m gonna go get my eyebrows shaped. (points at her eyebrows) I am not happy. (to Joey who has a pizza box in his hands) Oh... sure you wanna eat that?
Joey: Really? Think about it. Come on! You're a beautiful woman, smart, funny, we had a really good time, huh? If I had your number, why wouldn't I call you?
Charlie: Oh I can't... I have seminars all day and I promised Ross I would look at his speech.
Laura: Well, I must say, this seems like a lovely environment to raise a child in.
Rachel: Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?
Rachel: Irrational, huh? All right, well, I’ll remember that the next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment!
Chandler: Well I would've been happy because I would've be able to spend the rest of my life with the woman that I love. Or, you would've seen a Chandler shaped hole in that door. (Points at the door.)
Rachel: Ok... I got a spider. There were two, I picked the bigger one.
Joey: Oh whoa-whoa wait a minute! I have to do it?!
Chandler: Ok. So if we both had Emma and I die <knocks on table> she'd have to give her up.
Rachel: No! Wait no! Shut upI mean dont cry! Let me get my checkbook! (Grabs her checkbook and runs after him.)
Rachel: I can't believe this! This is Emma's first Thanksgiving!
Monica: That’s crazy! (Phoebe looks bewildered). I am sorry. I just can’t imagine giving up my one wedding day like that!
Julie: Yeah, we are going to share every moment of this with you. And I think were gonna have some fun.
Phoebe: Am I? Really? Am I? Well, why don't you cook Thanksgiving dinner and prove me wrong! Well, think about it, think about it, you'll be trying to top than you did last year. You'd be in competition... with yourself.
Phoebe: Well, I was thinking...
Chandler: It must be a virus. I think it erased your hard drive.
Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didnt really, I didnt want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then (Ross joins in) to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess.
Monica: (she tastes what she has cooked) I don't get older. I just get better!
Joey: Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot.
Rachel: Uh-huh, I get it, smoke, chimney, chimney sweep, very funny, ha-ha.
Phoebe: (keeping on running and yelling) OOOOOHHHHH! (she stops) Fine, I can't take it anymore! I'm putting an end to this! (she goes out to the balcony)
Joey: (takes out the mouth guard) I know I dont have too! It tastes good. (Puts it back in.)
Ross: Did I do something to you?
Ross: Dude, I wanted him to guess.
Joey: Wha...? You're gonna go now? I thought we could hang out?
Ross: Eh, you think? I mean, you went out with a guy who improved the accuracy of radiocarbon dating by a factor of 10!
Joey: Right, I guess. Alright, so see you at four.
Phoebe: I couldn't tell him no. He got so sad. Maybe it'll be all right. I do really like him a lot and probably do it eventually anyway and plus, think of all the money I'll save on stamps.
Rachel: Phoebe, I think... It's just too weird, I just saw a one year old running around with pantyhose on!
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Rachel: Because I already did!
Joey: I know, yeah.
Monica: Hi. About last night... I know you are under a lot of stress and even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... My point is, uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back.
Ross: I can't believe Chandler is missing this!
Rachel: No Phoebe, I am not letting you put makeup on my baby!
Ross: Eh..actually no, I don't need to because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work, ok, there were no responses. Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents, so the joke my friend is on you. Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead. (silence) Oh my God! Nobody cares that I'm dead!?
Ross: No, I mean it. You are so loyal man, and selfless, and generous...
Joey: I don't know...
Monica: Yeah! Oh hes great, I love him. (Walks away and Chandler glares at Phoebe.)
Rachel: And I won!
Charlie: (talking to Ross) I feel like I owe you an explanation. I don't ordinarily go around kissing guys at parties. I'm... well, I'm kind of embarrassed. I really hope you don't think less of me.
Ross: Well, I do! Why don't we go back to my place, light a couple of candles, break open a box of Cinnamon Fruit Toasties, uh...
Rachel: Ill be watching TV if anybody needs me. (exits to her room)
Ross: So, this must be kinda neat for ya, huh? I mean, your Dad tells me that you get a couple of days off school, and you, you ah, dont have to sell those cookies anymore.
Chandler: I wouldn't brag too much about that thing, big guy.
Benjamin: Listen, I know, I may be way out of bounds here, but is there any chance you will take me back?
Chandler: No! No! I dont want him to know were yet! Im not sure Im ready for that. And besides hes not gonna be too happy to see me either.
Rachel: Yeah! If you don't I will! Of course your body's gonna change. Your breasts are gonna get bigger, your ass is gonna get bigger, you're gonna lose bladder control. (she starts sobbing) God! It's just such a magical time!
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, I just remembered. We do have something to eat. Monica put something in our oven this morning.
Ross: I don't know...
Rachel: Ooh! You guys are so lucky you are here with people, you known it's such a romantic place. That's all, I just wish I could (looks at Joey who is at the check in desk) share that with a guy.
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
Monica: Yeah, I asked you and Phoebe to pick up the pies. You did remember, right?
Ross: Do you mind if I sit here for a sec.?
Ross: I feel terrible.
The Director: Im sorry Joey, as long as hes here and hes conscious were still shooting.
Joey: Fine! Let's just go. I don't need your stupid dinner.